This Small Dream
by Ceile
Summary: After the battles of Project D are over, and after declaring at Kaori's grave that he has a small dream to keep nurturing young Gunma area racers, Ryousuke knows that his reality has never been that simple. Fujiwara, as usual, is the wildcard, and Ryousuke finds that his control slips too easily into an emotional ride he thought he would never take again. Ryousuke x Takumi. 801.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello, Readers, and welcome to my Initial D fan book. This story was started several years ago in 2009-2010 and was posted as a draft on LiveJournal under my locked journal. I put it away for years to wait for the canon to end, revising and reworking it here and there, until I picked it up in earnest earlier this year for a final overhaul. There might be similar themes to this that appear in some other ID stories, and I sometimes thought over the years as I've read the work of others "Wow, did they read my Fic somewhere?", and I just sat on this story for a while thinking that maybe someone might be offended if they thought it was similar to theirs, and maybe I shouldn't post it and invite anything awkward. But, I've decided that it is what it is, and it is truly all my own fantasy, and all my own style for good or ill. It's as good as it will ever get, though it has many flaws (including a *probably* heinously bad car battle), and I've decided to post it here with hopes that there are others out there who might be yearning for some Initial D 801. A special thanks to user KT (you know who you are!) who gave me the last push of encouragement I needed to post this story after giving most of it a preview. Thank you for all the support and kindness you've shown to me which I truly do not deserve. This fandom needs more love! Since it's a yaoi fangirl's fantasy novel, I know that it will not appeal to everyone. So, please exercise your freedom of choice if you do not wish to read this type of story. Although it is an 801 fiction, it is a story which embraces *all* the types of relationships between many of the characters in Initial D, and it is not wall-to-wall in your face 801 action. I simply hope to convey to whoever reads this my passion for Shigeno-sensei's great opus, and I do hope that it is somewhat believable anyway, despite the yaoi. So, I humbly thank you for giving "This Small Dream" a chance. This story is complete and I will be uploading chapters as time permits. I will mark the status complete when they are all uploaded. PMs are adored. Rated M, from the same universe as my other Initial D stories (the progenitor for those, in fact), I don't own anything, and I make no profit. This has been written out of sheer adoration for these characters, and a slight (more than slight) obsession with an 86.

This Small Dream

Takahashi Residence. August Xth, Wednesday, 9 PM.

Takahashi Keisuke backed his yellow FD into the awaiting garage next to his elder brother's pristine FC, parking, as was his custom, a bit too closely to the driver's side door of the white Mazda RX-7, the older version of his own RX-7. He knew that it annoyed the hell out of his very collected brother, and Keisuke liked it that way. Ryousuke never said anything, but Keisuke knew he at least rolled his eyes or smirked every time he had to squeeze his slender body between the two cars to get into his own driver's seat.

Even if the younger brother wasn't around to see it, the satisfaction of simply knowing what Ryousuke's reaction would be was enough to make it worth continuing the tradition of being the annoying younger brother, despite the fact that they were both in their twenties. Keisuke felt it was his absolute right, no, his _duty_ , to keep up these little jabs at his perfect Aniki, and Keisuke also knew that, even if annoyed, the two of them were at the point in their lives where Ryousuke almost welcomed these playful pranks. Ryousuke intuitively understood their deeper meaning, that they were done out of admiration and respect, something which Keisuke didn't himself quite understand. Keisuke did it, not really knowing why, knowing only that he felt it was an absolute necessity.

Luckily for Keisuke, Ryousuke had indulged him _just_ enough sometimes. Other times, Keisuke felt that his brother's harsh criticisms could weigh him down to the bottom of a vast ocean, to drown in the gap he still perceived existed in their driving abilities despite Project D's conclusion with an undefeated record.

Ryousuke was always at the literal and figurative peak, waiting for Keisuke to make the hill climb. And then, there was that _other_ person to contend with.

Keisuke cut the engine of the FD, deciding not to think about that person who had morphed from a space-case rival into some kind of…friend? Somehow, he wasn't sure they were friends exactly, even if he had a lot of respect for the kid's crazy technique behind the wheel. But he had to ruefully admit to himself that he had grown closer to Fujiwara Takumi than anyone else he knew other than his brother.

Sighing as he reached over to the vacant passenger seat of the FD, Keisuke picked up a DVD from it. He exited the car, meandered his way past the FC and his mother's oft unused Benz, and entered the house.

He kicked off his shoes and stepped into the kitchen, stuffing the DVD under his chin as he took off his jacket and hung it on a hook. In one motion, Keisuke opened and reached blindly into the refrigerator for a mineral water, thinking how much better it would be if it was a beer instead. But, he needed to give the DVD to Aniki, and he knew that Ryousuke hated smelling beer on him. His brother was somehow above beer, Keisuke mused, having noticed that even at the celebration barbecue for the ending of Project D, Ryousuke sipped mineral water and only drank one glass of the expensive champagne he'd had Fumihiro do the honor of uncorking.

Keisuke had rarely seen his brother indulge in anything but a cordial sip of wine or sake at a family gathering, or even rarer still, that "James Bond" drink with the name that vaguely reminded Keisuke of the word "pizza" by the non-logic of his own mind. There were only three Italian-sounding words Keisuke knew, after all: pizza, pasta, and martini. However, instead of "shaken not stirred", the younger brother had a vague recollection of hearing the words "vodka" and "extra dirty" escape his Aniki's mouth one time which caused Keisuke to have nearly choked on the beer he had been happily enjoying from a few feet further down the bar.

"It means heavy on the olive brine, Keisuke," his brother had cautioned, trying to put a lid on Keisuke's beer-fueled, runaway imagination and mouth before either traveled to places that would be sure to embarrass the elder if not stopped immediately. That was about two years ago, and it was the last time they had ventured to a bar together. Keisuke absently tried to remember why that was as he passed the closed door of his parents' room. A sliver of flickering light produced by the TV beyond was the only sign that their mother was home and not at some women's group, or whatever she did, when she wasn't passed out. It was what was normal for her, her nightly routine when being a wealthy socialite with the world at her fingertips was simply not enough. The sleeping pills dutifully and discreetly provided by Dr. Takahashi, which, she just as dutifully and sometimes not as discreetly liked to eat as if they were candy, would mean she may as well be on the other side of the planet as on the other side of the house. Likely, she'd be that way for the next day and a half, Keisuke guessed.

Unlike his mother, when Keisuke was intoxicated, he was very, very loud. First came happy, then silly. Then pissed. Then, someone, usually not him, would end up going to the hospital, sometimes to the very hospital his Father oversaw both as its CEO and top physician.

'Oh yeah,' Keisuke remembered, his own mind providing conversation, 'That was the night I puked in the FC because Aniki said I was too drunk to drive.' Yes, that was the reason the Takahashi brothers did not go to bars together anymore. The next morning at some cruel early hour, Ryousuke had made him clean and detail the car. He had specified that Keisuke take it to a certain place, in another prefecture, the only place he would allow his car to be detailed. Of course, he had phoned ahead, and made sure that Keisuke was the one to clean it.

It was summer. It was at least 90 degrees out and humid. It was fucking disgusting.

When Keisuke had returned later that day, almost ready to puke again, but desperately holding it in until he reached the house, for fear of puking in the freshly cleaned FC, he had discovered that the refrigerator was totally devoid of his beloved beer and stocked to the hilt with mineral water. A small note card in his brother's perfect penmanship was taped to a bottle placed exactly at Keisuke's eye level. "Puke in my car again, and I'll kill you myself. R."

Keisuke chuckled to himself as he trod upstairs toward the inner sanctum of his Aniki, thinking back on that time when the Red Suns had just been put together, to the time when Keisuke was still adjusting to life by Ryousuke's rules and not by the rules of his other "brothers" in the motorcycle gang, still shaking off old habits that were extremely hard to break: habits like downing inordinate amounts of lousy yet somehow expensive American beer. Running up tabs that he would, in a drunken stupor, forget to pay, Keisuke realized much after the fact that Ryousuke had always paid them, never saying a word about it as the elder slowly worked through his simulation for changing the ways of his ill-mannered and reckless younger brother.

Ryousuke was his best friend. No, Keisuke realized not long ago, Aniki was, well, his _everything_. Sometimes it really sucked to have perfection living down the hall from him, leading his racing team, coaching him, and, perhaps worst of all, spending as much if not more of his precious energy on that teammate than he did on his own brother. But still, Keisuke had to admit that if he had to have an elder brother, there was no one he'd rather have than Ryousuke.

Reaching the landing, Keisuke made his way down the hall to what he liked to call the "prime real estate" of the house. Naturally, Ryousuke, being the elder, had managed to snag the best room in the house, even before Keisuke had been conceived. That room was spacious and had its own balcony, full of sunlight in the daytime, and cozy and comfortable at night, unlike the cave of a room Keisuke occupied on the other end of the corridor, which was tucked under the eaves of the multi-story home like some kind of afterthought. Keisuke chuckled again to himself.

'Yep. That's me, the friggin' 'happy accident'.' That's what their dazed mother would often call him as a kid, and, Keisuke often wondered if his mother sometimes forgot his name, which, ironically, had the meaning of "the blessing". 'What a crock that is,' he thought wryly, knowing for sure that his parents likely never thought of him as a blessing of any kind at all. Some years later, it occurred to Keisuke that his brother had been displeased by that "happy accident" phrase, perhaps even before he truly comprehended the meaning of it. But, ever dutiful, Ryousuke chose to allow it and focus only on Keisuke, and not on their mother's subtle yet hurtful moniker. It seemed that Ryousuke indulged their mother as much if not more than he indulged him.

Keisuke just blamed the pills. Ryousuke seemed to place the blame somewhere else, a place that Keisuke was sure he might never understand.

Keisuke took a swig of water and stuffed the DVD under his arm, freeing a hand to knock on his brother's door. Of course, the lights were on inside, casting a soft glow into the corridor through the frosted glass door of the room. "Hey, Aniki, I'm coming in," Keisuke called, not ever waiting to be invited inside. He knocked, then opened the door as he saw his brother swivel himself around in the chair in which he sat.

"Ah. Keisuke," Ryousuke greeted him with a half smile, not entirely disliking the way his brother liked to simply announce the fact that he was coming in rather than wait for him to open the door. His fingers had been dancing upon the keyboards of no less than three different computers before his younger brother entered, and he was thankful for the visit, and for the natural coffee break it provided.

"Well, I just got back from Akagi. Here's the DVD Fumihiro and Kenta made," Keisuke said, handing the disc to Ryousuke. He glanced at his brother's desk, and shook his head slightly.

"What?" the elder asked, taking the video from his hands.

"Leave it to you, Aniki. You're probably the only person in the world who has the brain capacity to have some boring medical textbook, your assignment, a letter to some professor, and the schematics of the hachi-roku all being worked on at the same time."

"I have to be efficient with my time," Ryousuke said simply as he placed the dvd on top of a huge book that said "PDR" and some other words in English on its spine. "I'll call Fumihiro later to thank him for his and Kenta's good work."

"Sure," Keisuke replied as he not-so-delicately flopped into a seated position on his brother's perfectly made bed.

"Something on your mind, Keisuke?"

"Nah, I was just thinking."

"Good for you."

"Aw, shut up."

Ryousuke laughed lightly. "Come now, Keisuke. You seem to be doing a lot of that lately." Seeing the brow of his bleach-blonde and spiky haired younger brother furrow slightly, he continued, "Honestly, I'm glad of it. I've always said that you'd be the ultimate driver if you added thought and theory to your skills. Kanagawa was tough, but you were tougher," he added, referring to their final expedition battles with their team, Project D.

"I guess. And I know I should be out on Akagi making as many runs as possible, but, it's crowded there right now, and, without a battle to prepare for the near future, I'm just kinda fooling around. D was my routine, you know, eat, sleep,breathe, D. And now…" His voice trailed off a little. Ryousuke remained silent, waiting for Keisuke to finish, sensing the thought might end up being incomplete. It was.

"So I'm trying out this 'thinking' thing you seem to place a ton of stock in," he said instead of finishing the other sentence.

"Hmm," came the reply from Ryousuke as he sipped coffee poured from the pot of a desk-sized coffee maker. Having a small coffee maker at his desk was definitely efficient. No unnecessary trips to the kitchen, Keisuke assumed. Truly, his brother wasted nothing.

"So, yeah, Aniki. What's going to happen now? The forum on our website...people are trying to guess where I'm signing because you haven't announced anything to anyone, even me. Where did you send Kenta and Fumihiro anyway? They didn't seem too eager to talk about it with me."

"Oh, just here and there," Ryousuke cryptically replied.

"Tch. I friggin' hate it when you do that," Keisuke grumbled. "Well, at least I could try and beat it out of Kenta at some near future date, I suppose."

"Keisuke, the truth is, there are details to hash out before we make any declarations. It's a very crucial time, and I'm not able to pay 100% attention to the offers for the next two or three weeks. We discussed this," Ryousuke calmly said, ignoring Keisuke's empty threat of future violence against his quasi-protégé.

"I know, and I probably should leave you alone. I know you have exams. But, I just get all fidgety when I have no idea what's ahead."

"If you're 'fidgety', then go grab the laptop I bought you, dust it off, and review the contracts and the stats of these teams and their tuning strategies, and tell me what you think about them."

"Aniki, you know I can't figure out that shit just by looking at numbers and graphs. I need to feel the car from the driver's seat," Keisuke said, sulking.

"Even Fujiwara has taken to reading his race data from D." Keisuke's scowl deepened, and Ryousuke felt his own lips curl into another half smile. "And he still has a _job_ , too, you know," he finished, not being able to resist.

"Hmpf. Fujiwara is a weirdo," was the best Keisuke could come up with, his usual descriptor for the younger driver. He honestly didn't feel like talking about that teammate, well, former teammate, at the moment. In fact, he was a little miffed that the schematic for the Toyota Panda Trueno, or 8-6, was the vehicle his brother had been studying, and not his FD or one of the cars being floated to him by a racing team. The hachi-roku was a good car, Keisuke hated to admit, but, 'Geez. Enough already, Aniki,' he thought. The car was dead and done now, to where even Fujiwara himself had accepted it. Keisuke couldn't understand that. Wasn't that car like an extension of Fujiwara's body? His heart maybe? Don't you die if your heart stops beating?

It was shocking, but that car, that legend: the Akina hachi-roku no longer existed. Without the hachi-roku, who was Fujiwara? Keisuke had the passing thought that Fujiwara should have been more upset instead of getting drunk with him at the team's disbandment party. 'Well,' Keisuke thought to himself, 'he was just kind of buzzed if I really think about it.' That stupid ass kid and all his cheeky alcohol-talk about it being unfair if he battled him with the Impreza.

But, if Keisuke would have had to have sacrificed the FD like that…even the thought made his stomach turn sour. No, he hadn't had to do that to win. That meant he was the _true_ Ace, didn't it?

"Is my petulant little brother jealous?" Ryousuke asked coyly, interrupting Keisuke's thoughts which had unconsciously allowed his gaze to fall on the technical readouts of the hachi-roku.

"Heh. Why would I be jealous of that weirdo?" Keisuke scoffed, not wanting to ask why Ryousuke was still studying that car that was probably on the way to a junkyard in Shibukawa by now. Hadn't his brother just said it was a crucial time for him? Why did the schematic of the hachi-roku matter anymore? Why did _he_ matter anymore?

"Glad to hear it," Ryousuke replied, knowing the exact opposite was true. His hand-picked Double Aces of the Project D racing team had an intense if unspoken rivalry between them, and each pushed the other beyond normal limits in every battle. No matter who the opponent was, the rivalry between Takahashi Keisuke and Fujiwara Takumi ensured that the true opponent for each of them was, in fact, the other. Keisuke especially had a chip on his shoulder about Fujiwara. He had lost to him before. Twice. Once the young driver of the old hachi-roku had appeared like a ghost from another realm, he haunted Keisuke to no end. Ryousuke knew his brother vowed never to lose to the younger driver of the much older car again, even in the professional world.

Project D's battles were over now, though, and Ryousuke knew his timeline was just about spent. Somehow, he managed to negotiate with his father to have a few more weeks to review the offers from the racing teams, and to take care of a certain other task he had made sure not to disclose to anyone, but reality was chasing him like an opponent on the downhill planning to strike with a decisive move on the togue.

The togue had no rules. Ryousuke's new reality would be full of them, though, and he wondered if he could realistically hang on to a bit of the Dream in the end after all, despite the mental plans he was already starting to formulate to keep the Dream alive.

Ryousuke had lost to the hachi-roku too, but had gained so much more from that race than he could have ever imagined. Keisuke and Fujiwara would surpass him, of that, Ryousuke was one hundred percent certain, even before that fateful race. They would do things in racing that Ryousuke, because of certain family expectations, could never do. All he could do was coach, and mold them, and ultimately, his game would have a fantastic end. His hope was that his theory of "Fastest Speed on Public Roads" would be published very soon, once all loose ends were securely tied.

Keisuke gulped down the remaining contents of his mineral water, and prepared to shoot the empty bottle like a basketball into the small rubbish bin beside Ryousuke's desk until he caught the "look".

"All right, Aniki, I know, I know. No trash in your room. I don't know why you even keep a wastebasket if you don't want to have any trash in your room. It has to go somewhere, doesn't it?" Keisuke asked, lowering the empty bottle and impatiently tapping the sides of it with his fingers.

"It goes somewhere. I empty my own trash as needed. If you did the same, you might have to empty your entire room," Ryousuke said playfully.

"Yeah, yeah. Between you and that little bratty cousin of ours, I never hear the end of what a goddamn pig I am. It's organized to me," Keisuke affirmed. Seeing no particular reaction from his brother, he continued, "So what's been going on with that little brat anyway? She hasn't been camping out at our house as much recently."

Ryousuke looked at Keisuke briefly, and brought his coffee cup to his lips once more. "I haven't been tutoring Tsugumi lately due to my own time constraints," he said evenly. "I'm surprised that you would ask. You're both really unpleasant to each other when she's here," he commented smoothly.

Keisuke snorted. "And you're too nice to her. No wonder she comes running here whenever she can. You spoil her. Rotten."

"Do I?" Ryousuke asked in a tone that Keisuke thought was more sincere than it should have been.

"Yeah. I think you do." Keisuke knew that Ryousuke really had no idea at all about what Tsugumi was into when he wasn't around. He'd probably die of a heart attack if he ever found out; there just never seemed to be a good opportunity to spoil his image of her. 'Someday, you little harlot, someday,' Keisuke thought to himself. For now, Keisuke just played along with Aniki's thoughtful mood. At least the brat wasn't around a lot lately.

"Hmm," Ryousuke said thoughtfully, trying to put on a casual air he thought Keisuke would believe. "Maybe, but she is working hard in her studies. She just needs some extra help from time to time now that she's doing more advanced preparations for her National exams. I wonder if you remember how well you fared on those, Keisuke?"

Keisuke laughed. "Yeah, I remember. I wrote my name and fell asleep."

"I think 'passed out hung-over' would be a more accurate description," Ryousuke concluded.

"Yeah. Oh well. It was expected anyway," Keisuke said quietly. Why had all these thoughts about his former wild existence crept into his brain today? He really needed a race, a drink, a...something. "Well, at least you can make up for the both of us. You always do."

His brother chuckled. "I think you overestimate me, Keisuke, by quite a bit."

"Not likely," the younger responded.

The two brothers sat quietly for a moment. Suddenly, Keisuke jumped up and headed for the door.

"You have an epiphany?" Ryousuke asked, nonplussed by his brother's sudden movement.

"A what?"

"Some kind of revelation?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess. I've decided I need a night out." The "look" appeared again on his brother's face. "Not with any of _those_ types," Keisuke quickly continued, "A night out with some of the guys on the crew. None of us are too busy lately, and we had a good time at the barbecue. I guess, well, I don't want that to be the last time we hang out as a group after all."

"Do us all a favor and use a car service," Ryousuke cautioned, despite understanding his brother's sentiments. "Especially, don't let Kenta drive if he plans to match you drink for drink."

Keisuke laughed, and a true smile crossed his face. "Hah! Like he could!"

"Car service, Keisuke," Ryousuke repeated sternly. Having an outdoor barbecue during the day with team was one thing, going out at night to a bar or something was another. Although, remembering Fujiwara and Keisuke slightly buzzed together was definitely interesting, more than Ryousuke wanted to admit it to himself, Ryousuke wasn't convinced that Keisuke wouldn't go overboard when he decided to organize another celebration on his own. It wasn't as though Keisuke would include Fujiwara anyway as he was underage. A couple of beers at the park picnic area was relatively harmless. Underage drinking in a public nightspot was quite a different scenario, especially if he himself might not be available to supervise.

"Geez, Aniki. You know it's not like that anymore. How many times have I told you I am capable of having fun and not too much fun? If you ever fucking hung out with me anymore, you'd know that by now!" Keisuke protested too loudly. Just the thought of using the "car service" was sickening to a street racer, and, most especially, to Keisuke. Ryousuke was well aware of the younger's revulsion. It pleased him to excise this occasional torture on his younger brother.

Ryousuke sighed, set down his coffee mug, and opened a small drawer in his desk. He pulled out a leather case that looked like an oversized wallet, and, as Keisuke looked on, he could see that it was full of business cards. Ryousuke scanned it for a second and selected one of the cards, flicking it in Keisuke's direction so it stood vertically between the index and middle fingers of his left hand.

"Car service, Keisuke. If it's for this weekend, reserve it tonight," Ryousuke said.

Keisuke swiped the business card from his brother and stuffed it into the back pocket of his jeans. "You know I don't like to show up anywhere without the FD," he groaned.

"Deal with it," Ryousuke commanded in a tone that said he meant business. "And I want to know where you decide to go."

"Whatever. Look, I'll even invite Fujiwara and his little Speed Stars buddies if it makes you happy. Maybe even Wataru from the North Saitama Alliance or whatever they call themselves. I do owe that guy one, actually, for his help with those freaks who were pretending to be me and Fujiwara that time," Keisuke digressed. Collecting himself once more, he went on. "You know I can't fuck up if that weirdo is there," Keisuke added. He thought he saw a blink from his Aniki that seemed irregular. Was his brother actually startled that he would mention inviting Fujiwara and his friends?

"How do I know such a thing?" Ryousuke asked casually.

"Hah. You know everything there is to know about me. I won't be an ass in front of him."

"What makes you think he'll actually attend this impromptu 'night out on the town' with friends and former foes alike? Fujiwara is incredibly non-committal when it comes to such things I should think. Not to mention that he won't be able to get into a bar…not by conventional means anyway."

"O-ho, Aniki? Are you actually curious?"

"About what?" Ryousuke asked. The thought crossed his mind that, perhaps, he had spoken a tad too freely in this instance for his own comfort. He didn't anticipate that Keisuke would pick up on his subtly expressed interest. Ryousuke had always thought Fujiwara was some one of a kind type of person, perhaps granted at birth with some innate way of being. The young man's seemingly absent minded persona actually belied the fierce concentration and razor sharp focus that came through whenever Fujiwara Takumi got behind the wheel of the hachi-roku. It was that very dichotomy of being that had piqued Ryousuke's interest from the very start; he had often hypothesized that a calm outward demeanor was a useful if not essential element to driving at insane speeds on public roads. Fujiwara was an amazing person, if a little reserved in the company of other people, but, he had to admit that the relatively small amount of alcohol he consumed seemed to break down his barriers more than a little. It was nice to see his young Downhill Ace actually enjoying himself with Keisuke and the other guys, and, Ryousuke had to admit, he wouldn't mind seeing it again. Somewhere along the line during their expeditions, his Aces had grown very close to each other, even if they probably both would be loathe to actually confess to it.

Ryousuke also had to admit there was a grain of truth in Keisuke calling him a "weirdo". There was no one quite like Fujiwara Takumi.

"You are sitting there wondering about it," Keisuke remarked, "and don't lie, you big jerk."

"About what?" Ryousuke repeated, chastising himself slightly for allowing his thoughts to stray. Was he really that tired? Was he really going there in his brain, thinking about having quiet drinks at the bar with Fujiwara who, as he had just reminded his brother, wasn't even old enough to get into a bar anyway?

"About whether Fujiwara would actually show up," the sibling countered, crossing his arms across his chest, still clutching the empty water bottle in his right hand. "If you come out with us, you can see for yourself and pick him apart in a little social experiment."

"Really, Keisuke," Ryousuke admonished, taking slight offense that his brother would refer to his former teammate, friend, and rival as some kind of lab rat.

"All right, it's definitely settled then. I'm friggin' inviting him. If we go to my friend's place in one of the private rooms, he'll be able to get in. And if I time it right, and invite him while he's hanging out with his friends at the gasoline stand, at least one of them would drag him out to hang with the crew, I think."

"Since when have you become so deviously clever, Keisuke?" Ryousuke grumbled.

"I learned it all from some stuck up bastard who lives in my house," Keisuke stated as if affirming a rare victory of wit over his brother.

The younger brother seemed very satisfied with himself as he reached for the doorknob, only to suddenly stop short of grasping it. He turned to look at the elder. There was a very familiar if not often heard low hum of a Benz approaching the house. "Oi. Aniki?" Keisuke questioned tentatively, his perceived victory over Ryousuke immediately forgotten.

"Interesting," was all Ryousuke said. Keisuke saw his brother's eyes shift to the window toward the direction of the sound of the approaching car.

"What day is it?"

"Wednesday."

"Then what the hell is he fucking coming home for?"

Ryousuke looked thoughtful. "I wonder," he said softly. "Perhaps Mother phoned him," he offered.

"Heh, doubt it. She's holed up in their room already."

"I know," came the reply that had a hint of sadness Keisuke could hear in his brother's tone.

"Hey, Aniki, I swear, I haven't done anything!" Keisuke suddenly whispered loudly, in a panic. "I mean it! You know I've had all I can deal with D and-"

"What makes you think he's home because of you?" Ryousuke calmly interrupted. "I know you've been a good boy," he added, teasing good-naturedly.

"Hmpf. Why else? I'm sure you haven't forgotten the last time he came home in the middle of the week, have you?"

"No, I haven't," the elder replied, taking up his coffee again and sipping casually.

"Yeah, that was a great night at the Takahashi residence, wasn't it?" Keisuke said with a tentative laugh. "The old man dragging me into the house by the ear with his lawyer hot on his heels. Good times. I think I would have rather stayed in that nasty jail."

"It might have been better for your health."

"Yeah. Especially after you kidnapped me after they all left. Throwing me in your FC and driving me down the Akagi downhill for the first time. You scared the shit out of me, you know. I really thought it was gonna be a double fucking suicide," the otouto said ruefully.

"You lived. You got your FD. Things changed, and it's mainly because of your own hard work."

"Yeah," Keisuke affirmed quietly, terribly unused to taking direct compliments from Ryousuke. Shaking his head vigorously, concern returned to his expression. "But, seriously, Aniki. Why the hell is he here? I haven't even gotten a goddamn speeding ticket in years!"

"Then you have no reason to assume your own guilt."

There was a pause as the two brothers heard the smooth hum of the Benz stop in the driveway. Seconds later, the sound of a car door opening and closing reached their ears. Ryousuke put down his coffee cup and walked over to his bathroom where he brushed his teeth and put a few eye drops into his tired, computer-monitor-strained eyes.

"Wait," Keisuke spoke as he watched his brother. "You think he's here to talk to you?"

"Do you think he'll be able to have a coherent conversation with Mother tonight?"

"No."

"Then, if it's not because of you, then he's here to have a little chat with me."

"No way," Keisuke whispered as loud as he dared upon hearing the front door open and close. "What the hell could he want? Whatever it is, I'll go down and just have him get mad at me, and he'll forget it, okay?" he said with raw concern that touched Ryousuke to his core. Though they could give each other headaches more often than not, their bond was strong, and their connection over the last few years had become extremely close.

"Relax. This wasn't entirely unexpected," Ryousuke calmly said in a hushed tone, gently patting his younger brother on the shoulder. "I'm going down, and I'll be back, okay?" With that, he turned to exit his room. "Take your empty bottle with you when you leave my room."

"Tch. You have eyes in the back of your head or something?" asked an exasperated Keisuke who was instantly prevented from dropping his empty bottle into a wastebasket that was cleaner than his own bathroom sink.

"We'll talk later Keisuke," Ryousuke said from the corridor as he prepared to descend the stairs.


	2. Chapter 2

Takahashi Residence. August Xth, Wednesday, 9:27 PM.

Ryousuke padded down the stairs in his slippers, making his way toward his father's study. It was rather unusual for the busy doctor to arrive home during the week for any reason, and, unfortunately, if he did appear during the week, it wasn't because of good news. This had been the case for many years, that Dr. Takahashi preferred to stay in a condo near to the hospital during the week, only to come home for weekends spent making appearances with his lovely wife at fundraisers and charitable events meticulously scheduled by his secretary. Mrs. Takahashi looked forward to weekends, preferring to sleep most of the week away, sobering up just in time to accompany her husband. She was determined for two days a week to keep the appearance of a happy couple intact, until the doctor got in his car on Monday morning.

In the past, Dr. Takahashi had only appeared mid-week when Keisuke had found himself on the wrong side of some legal infraction, when the man was forced to enter a mode of damage control. His home office became a war room, with altering bouts of shouting at his "good for nothing" younger son, and frantic questions like "What do we need to do to make this go away?" to his lawyer, who, at the time, was certain to have been number one on Dr. Takahashi's speed dial.

For Keisuke's part, he took an "I don't give a shit" attitude, not really caring how many times the publicly poised Dr. Takahashi would lose his temper and beat him worse than any foe from a rival street gang ever would. Those foes couldn't even get close enough to Keisuke to try; Keisuke was tough. He had to be, Ryousuke realized, always knowing that he was somehow a disappointment, an unwanted addition to the family. Even if Keisuke didn't know his own reasons for getting into trouble, the elder had felt that his brother had to have been suffering from both a massive inferiority complex and deeply buried pain for most of his childhood and adolescence. Ryousuke was well aware that he was probably one underlying cause of most, if not all, of Keisuke's willful behavior, whether Keisuke had realized it himself or not.

Ryousuke knew he had to do something to help Keisuke turn his life around. When he was a child, there wasn't much he was capable of doing, and the younger went off on his own. But, as they had grown into young adulthood, and Keisuke's troubles were starting to become more frequent and more serious, Ryousuke felt he had to step in. He preferred not to think of it as a rescue mission, but simply what he was supposed to do as the elder brother. No one had _directly_ asked him to do anything, but it certainly was implied that he would; their parents had long given up on Keisuke, figuring him to never amount to anything at all, or, more simply, that he would just manage to get himself killed.

To Ryousuke, it was extremely unjust. Keisuke was not a bad person, nor was he stupid. He was just a guy who needed a little direction for his hot-blooded nature, and no one else bothered to make the effort. Of course, Ryousuke went through times when he was irritated with Keisuke's lack of discipline and class, but, once he had made up his mind to step in, it was done. The simulations were ready, and implementation was the next step.

So what if he made his poor little brother think that he was going to kill himself and take the errant one with him? He made his point.

However, tonight was different. It had been a couple of years since Dr. Takahashi had arrived home unexpectedly for damage control, and Keisuke had indeed become an entirely different person since buying the FD and joining the Red Suns. Since his mother was already in bed, Ryousuke correctly deduced that his father had come home to speak with him.

He knocked on the door to the study.

"Come in, Ryousuke."

"Hello, Father. I trust you are well," he said after quietly entering the room and bowing politely.

Dr. Takahashi said nothing in response, lighting a cigarette and standing by the window, holding a small ashtray in his other hand as he smoked.

Ryousuke raised himself and stood, having not been invited to sit, or to speak further.

Finally, after smoking leisurely and extinguishing the cigarette, the doctor turned to face his eldest son. "I had a new patient today. A young girl, about eighteen or nineteen."

Ryousuke remained expressionless, though he wondered why his father was discussing a patient with him. It was rare for the doctor to discuss individual patients in anything other than a general sense.

"Oh? What was her condition?" Ryousuke asked.

"She was a perfectly healthy young girl."

Ryousuke looked at his father questioningly.

"There was no reason for her to have made an appointment with me at all. At least, no reason having to do with her health, that is."

Damn. He knew where this was going. "I suppose I don't have to really ask why she made that appointment, do I, Father?"

"Probably not. So, you understand my position, Ryousuke. I'd really prefer that my patients come to me because they need medical care, and not because they think I might be the father of some hot-shot street racing brothers. I've got patients with real problems, not to mention a business to run. I'm not going to waste my time being some ridiculous go-between for little tarts who like boys with fast cars."

"I understand."

"This hobby of yours is getting to be too much, Ryousuke. I won't have this frivolous, and shall I remind you, _illegal_ , activity become the thing to which the Takahashi name is most associated. I didn't build this hospital operation just to be the money tree for you children to be constantly devouring its fruit for your fun and games. Haven't I indulged you long enough? You're supposed to be done now, and somehow you always need just a couple more weeks."

"Father, I-"

"Look, Ryousuke," Dr. Takahashi interrupted. "I've let it slide this long because you've always managed to avoid getting into trouble with it. Thankfully, on the mountains, the police will look the other way. But, really. When the two of you first started appearing in magazines, I started to get concerned. And then, this 'Project D' business was way too public for my liking. It's time to grow the hell up and accept reality, Ryousuke."

"I remained within the time frame and budget we discussed, Father," the eldest son said coolly. "And I've met your other condition. My progress in school was not hindered in any way by Project D."

The doctor took out another cigarette and lit up as he sat down in his reading chair. "Ryousuke, have you made a decision? Where are you going to continue your studies? You haven't answered any of the schools that have offered you admission. We talked about the benefits to receiving training from medical schools abroad as well as here in Japan. You need to make a choice, and time is running short."

"I'm well aware of that."

" _Then get serious!"_ the doctor shouted.

"Father, everyone associated with Project D has been aware that I have had a limit on time from the outset," Ryousuke quietly asserted. "We haven't approached that limit. I intend to finish what I start, and it will be done in plenty of time to choose a school. Once I am _completely_ finished with D, I will dedicate myself to medicine, and I won't be as involved with racing as I am now. That is as I promised."

The doctor sighed. "Look. You've always done what your Mother and I expect of you. I know you understand what we need from you. However, this racing business is fine for schoolboys, but you are an adult, and a student of medicine. I need you to focus on joining the hospital and carrying it on for me when I retire and I don't want the wards running rampant with racing fans. I will _not_ glorify that sort of attention."

"But, Father, you have to understand that there will always be fans. Keisuke is extremely talented. He's going to go far as a professional racer, and, as such, the Takahashi name will also be associated with the sport. As a pro, there shouldn't be any negative repercussions for the hospital resulting from any fame he comes upon."

"Ryousuke, I don't give a _shit_ what Keisuke does! This is not about that Yanqui. This is about _you_!"

Ryousuke inwardly winced at the harsh, yet predictable, words spoken about Keisuke. Unfortunately, this was not the time to address it, and he wondered if there would ever be a time where he could have a positive discussion about Keisuke with either of his parents.

"I've always been appreciative of the opportunities your position has given us. And, I've remained true to every promise I've made. This time is no different. I will finish D and get these drivers into the pros," Ryousuke said firmly.

They held each other's gaze for a few seconds before the doctor continued. "Very well. But, know this. I'm not happy. Finish it if you must, but do it soon. When it's done, I don't want to hear any more about it. Understood?"

"Clearly. However, I am not willing to totally eliminate racing from my life. Project D may be at its conclusion, but I may wish to explore future ventures in the racing world after I complete medical school."

"Are you _serious_?!" Father snapped. "Why can't you leave this alone for crying out loud?! What the hell is the matter with you?!"

"I _am_ serious," Ryousuke calmly replied. "I do not yet know in what form my future involvement in racing will take, but I have recently decided that I won't walk away one-hundred percent. Surely you can grant me this one small dream to keep for myself as long as I follow your guidance in everything else, like I have been doing for _years_ already."

"You have _no right_ to decide that! Our hospitals and clinics need to be Priority Number One. You like percentages, right, Son? Do you honestly think that our money just magically appears in our bank account without 100% dedication and work on this business?! I work my _ass_ off to keep us competitive. I don't have time for frivolous things and neither will you have! You're obviously barely functional or you wouldn't dare even to bring this up right now!"

Apparently jetting off on vacations and entertaining a mistress wasn't placed under the header of "frivolous". What a fucking hypocrite. Almost all the Doctors he knew had one or more hobbies or, worse, one or more vices, his Father included.

"I'm bringing this up only to put you on notice," Ryousuke continued evenly, "I won't be asking for money for anything racing related, and I'll manage my time with prudence. I will be fully engaged as a Doctor and the business will not fail. I will _not_ allow that to happen; you have my assurance on that, Father."

"I don't give a damn about your putting me on notice. You'd do best to erase any such plan that includes racing from your future _immediately_. Grow. _Up_!"

"Father-"

"No more discussion!"

"Yes, Sir."

All right. Fair enough. At least he tested the waters with putting his desire to stay involved with racing out there. The conversation went about as predicted too. Oh well. He knew his parents both were becoming impatient with him lately; he knew it would not be easy to keep part of the Dream alive somewhere, somehow. So far, it had amounted to just showing up serruptitiously in the gallery on a couple of nights to check out a couple of drivers that didn't really meet expectations anyway.

He had time to plan for it, though. Also, it couldn't happen until he was making his own money because Father certainly was finished contributing financially. If, in the end, he couldn't make it work, he would still have the pride and satisfaction that the Aces would be living the Dream.

"Now, get some sleep," his Father commanded. "You look like _shit_ , Ryousuke. If you don't sleep, your mind will become dull. No amount of eye drops is going to hide the fact that you're using about twenty-three hours of every day from me. Got it?"

"Yes, Sir."

Ryousuke continued to stand by the door. He hadn't been excused yet.

"Your Mother..." the doctor began softly.

"Sleeping. You weren't expected."

The doctor sighed heavily, putting out his cigarette and raising his hands to his temples. "All right. Go."

"Good night, Father."

A wave of his hand signaled that the conversation was over for now, and Ryousuke slipped out of the study and back upstairs as softly as he had come. He arrived at his room, and settled down to his desk, pouring a bit more coffee into his mug for a warm-up. Seconds later, Keisuke could be heard coming down the hall.

He knocked and entered. "Well? What did the Asshole want?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing much, just to remind me that I'm approaching his deadline and to grow up."

Keisuke scowled, resuming his former indelicate position on Ryousuke's bed. "Bastard. Aniki, I don't know why you just don't tell him to fuck off. You're doing everything at once better than anyone else could do things one at a time."

"Keisuke, don't forget that the vast majority of our funding for Project D came from our Father."

"Well, you should have just stopped paying for Fujiwara and the hachi-roku and you'd have saved a ton! Honestly! I know Matsumoto doesn't come cheap! Not to mention the parts for that _fossil_!"

Ryousuke chuckled. "Fujiwara was part of D because I wanted him to be. How could I have you both as the Aces if I didn't equally support you as drivers? That included the cars."

"Tch. That's what I mean. That friggin hachi-roku...that friggin weirdo. I get that he's damn good, Aniki, but geez. It was not equal. I know you spent a ton more on maintenance and mods for that thing."

"Keisuke," his brother explained patiently, "when I say equal, I mean the ability for you and Fujiwara to attain equal results. In the case of the hachi-roku, it did require more specialized mechanical attention, and that's why Matsumoto was the chief for that car. He's more seasoned, and had worked on those cars routinely in the past."

Keisuke had a look on his face that plainly said he wasn't convinced.

"Yes, the parts weren't easy to find, and they came at a premium," Ryousuke continued, "But, it was done so that you both could equally reach your driving potential, and, therefore, make my theory of maximum speed on public roads a proven fact. That is why I formed D in the first place. It was _my_ game, after all. We should both feel appreciative that Fujiwara came along with us, you especially benefitted from it."

"If you say so," Keisuke sullenly said, thinking again about how the hachi-roku no longer existed despite the ridiculous amount of money they had spent to keep it alive.

"Did you call the car service for your little foray into the nightlife?" Ryousuke asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, boss, I did. Fucking embarrassing. You suck."

Ryousuke laughed. "So where's the party?"

"Why should I even bother to tell you? It's not like you'll show up or anything."

"Hmm, that's probably correct. I'm sure Fumihiro will make me aware of anything that might cause me concern."

"What, is he like your enforcer or something? When we took down those imposters, I really wanted to nail them. Cracked my knuckles and everything! That guy just stood there coughing at me. Honestly, I wouldn't have hurt them too badly. Maybe just a love tap," Keisuke said with a smile. Quickly frowning again, he continued. "He's like a babysitter when you're not around."

"No, he's my good friend, and he's a good friend to you as well."

Keisuke was about to protest when his cell phone rang and his smile returned. "Heheh...the response is quick! What can I say, Aniki? If I'm involved, people know it's gonna be a great time!" he exclaimed. "One sec...," Keisuke quipped as he answered his call.

Ryousuke rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help his own curiosity. He wondered if it was Fujiwara on the line. As much as he didn't like Keisuke referring to the downhill Ace as a social experiment, Ryousuke had to admit to himself that the young driver had always captivated his interest, in more ways than anyone else knew. He wondered if Fujiwara would even come close to surviving a night out with Keisuke, even if he did know that his two Aces had become close as they pursued the Dream.

"Yo. Wataru, you got my text? ...Yeah..."

Ryousuke found himself to be disappointed that the caller was not Fujiwara. He turned back to his computer screens, thinking he ought to call it a night since his Father had bluntly pointed out that he looked like shit. He was always tired, but being tired was a small price to pay to see the racers of Project D succeed and his theory proved.

"...Friday night...we'll be there about ten. You coming?" Keisuke continued to hammer away at his social calendar. Though he hadn't planned a night out for himself in a very long time, he easily fell into it as he vivaciously worked his friends into what was sure to be a stellar night on the town. Ryousuke thought that, in these moments, Keisuke was even more like their mother than usual, or, at least, how he remembered their mother used to be when they were younger. He had to admit, he wasn't unhappy that his brother was planning a party for himself. He had been working so hard for over a year on end, focusing solely on driving to the point of eliminating everything else. Even Fumihiro had remarked that he had suggested to Keisuke that maybe he should try and relax, perhaps date that lovely FD driver from Saitama from time to time, but Keisuke had dismissed him. Now, it seemed that Keisuke might be allowing himself a break after all. This was a good sign, Ryousuke thought. The more things Keisuke could learn to balance at one time, the better and more mature he would become both behind the wheel and in life.

" ...Cool. Drinks on me, I owe ya for punking those losers that time...okay, well, at least first round then." Keisuke continued to babble on to his former uphill opponent, the driver of another hachi-roku: a Levin model with a supercharger modification. That Wataru had been a good opponent for Keisuke, Ryousuke recalled. Now, it seemed, all of that was water under the bridge and Wataru was now friendly with both of Project D's Aces.

"...All right...huh?... He's invited, but who knows about that guy. Ok, I gotta run... Later."

It seemed that even Akiyama Wataru was interested to see whether or not Fujiwara would attend the festivities. Ryousuke closed the files he was working on, subtly signaling to Keisuke that he should carry on with his social machinations elsewhere. Keisuke, of course, didn't pick up on the subtlety. He sighed as he heard the sibling clear his call history on his cell phone, and he let his tired eyes fall once again on the schematic of the hachi-roku. What was it about this car, this driver? Why did the mental image of Fujiwara always send his mind into a tailspin? Although the machine was not even in running condition at the moment, Ryousuke still used it as a vehicle to think about Fujiwara; a nagging part of him knew that his undisclosed plan for the derelict machine was just an excuse to put off the inevitable fact that Fujiwara would be going away, and probably far away at that. He would be starting a new life as a professional racer, and Ryousuke wondered for how much longer he could get away with calling Fujiwara Takumi _his_ Downhill Ace.

Didn't his own words cement the fact that Fujiwara could go far in the racing world when he lost to the teenager on the slopes of Akina? That he should set his gaze toward a much larger stage?

At first, it was his amazing technique behind the wheel, and his humble, laid back attitude. However, Ryousuke was aware that he had developed feelings for Fujiwara that went beyond the admiration of his driving. As much as he tried to tell himself how ridiculous it was, how incredibly inappropriate and wrong it should be, it persisted. So far, he had concealed it well enough, he thought; the battles they faced with Project D were enough to keep his focus on Fujiwara as a driver and as only a driver. It was when the downhill was finished, though, that Takumi's skill would impress him, and bring up a feeling he knew he shouldn't have. Thank goodness neither Keisuke nor Fujiwara were aware of it.

"Is your plan coming together Keisuke?" Ryousuke asked wryly.

"Sure is."

"I'm glad. I'm going to bed," he announced, closing the laptop and the hachi-roku data for the night.

"Eh?!" Keisuke commented in disbelief, looking at the clock on his cell phone.

"I've been told I look like shit. Eye drops and endless cups of coffee aren't cutting it with Father," came the explanation.

Keisuke scowled. "Why do you always take shit from him? You don't take it from anyone else."

"I don't really have a choice. Go to Akagi. It should be less crowded by now, right?"

"Hmpf. Yeah," Keisuke relented. "Aniki..."

"It's all right. I'm just going to take a nap. If you make a few runs on Akagi tonight, I should be up again when you get home."

"Okay. If your light is on, I'll stop in and tell you how it went."

"Excellent," Ryousuke replied as both brothers rose from their seats. Keisuke started toward the door and Ryousuke started walking toward his bathroom, removing his sweater. "I might come to your gathering. It just depends on how much work I can get done in the next day."

Keisuke stopped in his tracks. "Really?" he asked incredulously.

"It's a definite maybe. I'd say, a 50-50 chance."

"Uh, okay," Keisuke replied, resuming his path to the door and into the corridor where he stopped again. A small smile crossed his lips. 'So Aniki is wondering if Fujiwara will show up. Heh. I don't know what it is, but he's always interested in that weirdo. Oh well,' Keisuke thought before rushing downstairs toward the garage, hoping not to cross paths with his father.


	3. Chapter 3

Mt. Akagi summit. Thursday, 1:05 AM.

Keisuke leaned against his yellow FD, quietly smoking a cigarette, enjoying the stillness of a late mid-week night on Akagi. He wasn't thinking about anything in particular, but he had made a few good runs and was killing time before returning home to see if Ryousuke's nap was over. His vague mindset eventually focused fully on his brother. Sometimes, he just didn't understand how Ryousuke could have managed to command so much authority with the team, and yet, still obediently go to bed like some little kid on their father's say-so. Keisuke had no problem respecting his brother, even if, at times, his words could be harsh and cause him deep self-humiliation. But Father was... well, Keisuke simply preferred to avoid that asshole like the plague. It drove him crazy that the old man could just say the word and Ryousuke would comply without so much as batting an eyelash. In some ways, Keisuke was glad to be the black sheep of the family; if he screwed up, no one except Ryousuke even bothered to notice. He was finally starting to grasp the true pressure his brother felt, with the family's honor and pride resting completely upon his shoulders alone. The guy really needed a vacation, or, at the very least, a break.

He took another drag of his cigarette and languidly ran the fingers of his free hand through his hair.

If Ryousuke ever managed to screw up or fail to perform to their parents' ridiculously high standards, it would probably be the sign of the coming of the apocalypse. Keisuke laughed to himself. "Yeah, like that would ever happen," he said aloud to the night. Ryousuke was going to be the next Dr. Takahashi. He shuddered to think that he might have to refer to Ryousuke as "sensei" for the rest of his life. He wondered if the guy would take some kind of sick pleasure in hearing his younger brother call him "Takahashi Sensei" in polite company. 'Nah,' Keisuke thought, 'Aniki will always be Aniki, and any place I'm allowed to be with him once he's a doctor will probably not pass for polite company.''

There were times when Keisuke wondered if his brother really ever wanted to be a doctor at all. In fairness, Ryousuke was the one who had been approached by professional racing teams. Ryousuke was the undisputed leader and genius of Project D, no matter if he never ran one single race himself. Everyone on the Project D team knew that, without their leader, they would have never have managed their undefeated streak.

And then, there was this last group of battles in Kanagawa. Aniki had actually raced, on his own, against someone Keisuke didn't even really know. Separate from Project D, that race had been personal. When Keisuke asked for details, Ryousuke simply told him he didn't need to know.

His brother could be incredibly frustrating when he decided to be aloof. It made Keisuke wonder just who his brother really was under all the layers of his outward greatness. 'I'll never understand him anyway, even if I knew everything,' he mused to himself. He assumed that the minds of geniuses like his Aniki were just not meant to be understood by regular guys like himself, and that had satisfied him enough until recently.

However, now that the end of Project D was here, Keisuke was sure he could see something in his brother's eyes that said Ryousuke was incredibly saddened that D would be no more. At first, Keisuke dismissed the fleeting looks he saw as figments of his own imagination, because after that secret battle, a certain weight seemed to have been lifted from his brother's shoulders. Lately, though, he started seeing that sadness creep back in more and more. Keisuke usually monopolized Ryousuke's precious free time, so even he could tell that a sort of vague cloud had settled over his brother again, and not even the satisfaction of having the precious theory of "Fastest Speed on Public Roads" proved seemed to be enough lately to lift it. Keisuke thought about how he would feel if he were in his brother's position. How could he just give up racing? It was another thing that Keisuke felt he would never understand.

Off in the near distance, Keisuke could hear the sound of a car approaching the summit. He shifted his gaze to the road, waiting for the car with the familiar sound to approach. A moment later, Kenta's orange colored Nissan S14 Silvia entered the parking lot and stopped near to where Keisuke stood.

Nakamura Kenta opened his door and exited the car. "Hi, Keisuke-san. What's going on?"

"Not much. Just getting ready to call it a night. You planning on practicing some more?"

"Yeah," Kenta said quietly. "I was kind of hoping you might be here."

Keisuke finished his cigarette and put it out, still thinking about his Aniki and practically ignoring Kenta's presence.

"Keisuke-san, will you follow me on the downhill a couple of times before you go?"

"Huh?" Keisuke asked, finally giving some attention to his unofficial driving student.

"Uh, I asked if you could follow me on the downhill a couple of times," Kenta said tentatively. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I suppose you'll be joining us Friday night."

"Of course I will! We haven't really done this type of thing since the early days of the Red Suns. It should be fun to just relax like we did at the barbecue. I know you'll make sure we have a great time."

"Well, don't forget, Kenta. We have to take a _car service_ ," Keisuke said with a scowl. "If I can't take my FD there's no way in hell I'm letting you take that thing," he finished, nodding in the direction of the orange S14. 'Who the hell has a car with an orange paint job? Hideous,' he thought smugly, since yellow was, in Keisuke's mind, not hideous at all.

"I don't mind. Something tells me that must have been Ryousuke-san's idea."

"Of course it was, idiot. You don't think I would voluntarily not take my FD, do you?"

"Uh, well, no, Keisuke-san, that's why I said it," Kenta said. He was used to getting lightly scolded from his idol and mentor. The fact that he knew the man would only leave the FD behind if Ryousuke had ordered it, went completely over Keisuke's head. Things like this just came with the territory with this guy. But, Kenta was nothing if not persistent. "So, will you, Keisuke-san?"

"Will I what?" the blonde Ace asked, a look of consternation on his face. At times, Keisuke really did have the attention span of a gnat. Kenta was nonplussed.

"Will you follow me on the downhill? I've been working very hard since I got my S14 back from the shop. I want your opinion."

"You mean since you wrecked it like a complete dumbass driving with your lights off?"

"Do you have to keep reminding me?!" Kenta asked with embarrassment in his expression. "I know it was stupid to try it! But, well, I learned my lesson already, so you can stop bringing it up, Keisuke-san!"

Keisuke studied Kenta. It was true; he hadn't really been paying much attention to him lately. He was improving, but Keisuke was too concerned about his own performances to give Kenta more than occasional suggestions. He had his rival to contend with, and he knew that Kenta saw Fujiwara as a rival too. Since his loss to Fujiwara in a battle in the rain, Kenta had been forced to take an honest look at his own skills, and, since traveling with Project D as a member of the support group, he had observed both of the Aces up close. Keisuke supposed that Kenta got his motivation to improve from being stuck driving Van #2 instead of driving the "orange nightmare" up to the starting line. 'Still,' Keisuke thought to himself, 'Kenta really was a complete dumbass to try to copy Fujiwara by driving with no headlights. Friggin' idiot. Even Aniki wouldn't do something that insane. And,' he admitted to himself, 'I probably wouldn't, or _couldn't_ , do it either, even if the fog battle in Kanagawa had pretty much been the same type of thing'. How many nights did Ryousuke play drill sergeant with him on Akagi for him to get to that point when the weirdo had just _done it_ out of fucking _nowhere?_ Damn Fujiwara.

Keisuke let out an exaggerated exhalation; Kenta was serious, and he had to go downhill anyway.

"One time. I'll follow you down, then I'm going home, Kenta," Keisuke relented, finding himself to be only marginally curious to see what his quasi-protege could do.

"All right! When we get to the bottom, pull over and tell me what you think, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever. Let's go."

Both young men got into their cars and started them. Kenta moved to the starting position, and Keisuke slid in behind him with the FD. "Okay, you idiot, let's see what you've got!" Keisuke challenged, revving his engine to signal Kenta that he was ready to begin.

A second later, Kenta squealed to a quick start, and Keisuke followed in pursuit. "Hmm...so you've stepped up your speed a few notches, Kenta," he observed after the first two corners were cleared. He pressed down on his own accelerator. This wasn't a race, he was just observing, but Keisuke surprisingly had to exert a small effort to follow. 'Not bad,' he thought. Now he was a little curious.

A small straightaway was next and Keisuke eased up on the acceleration. Since the latest modification of the FD was a complete overhaul, the power ratio between his car and Kenta's mainly stock S14 was lopsided. But, Kenta seemed to be drawing out more of his car's potential as he floored the gas down the straight. Keisuke eyed his odometer. 'Aren't you heading into the next corner a little too fast for you, Kenta?' Keisuke thought nervously as he followed the tail lamps of the orange car at what he thought was a safe distance in case the S14 went into a spin.

"What?!" Keisuke exclaimed aloud as Kenta deftly took the corner with a late-braking technique Keisuke did not think Kenta possessed. 'Wow, Kenta!' he thought, 'Now I see. Looks like you've been taking some pretty good notes.'

Keisuke lowered his foot on the accelerator again. A tight hairpin corner was next, and he found himself to be very interested to see how Kenta would choose to attack it. Kenta once again attempted a late braking technique. He lost stability for a second, but corrected his line well, the slight wobble of the rear of the S14 the only sign of his momentary lapse. 'Heh. So you've been looking at Fujiwara too, I get it. But, you're not there yet, smart guy!"

The wobbles at the corners had cost Kenta some of his exiting speed, but he regained his composure and aggressively attacked the remainder of the course, making some mistakes, but, overall, Keisuke had to admit, it was a pretty solid performance. Of course, Kenta's average top speed was not at the level of a driver of Project D, but, Keisuke realized, it was perfectly good as a member of the Red Suns. That, in and of itself, was as close to a compliment Keisuke would ever allow himself to give to Kenta, not that he would give it aloud. Keisuke realized that, in moments like these, he thought Ryousuke was rubbing off on him. Aniki was incredibly stingy on compliments, well, except when it concerned Fujiwara. 'That guy really pisses me off sometimes,' Keisuke thought, realizing this notion could apply equally to his brother and his rival.

He pulled up behind Kenta at the bottom of the course and stepped out of the FD to talk with him as he alighted from the S14.

"Well, Keisuke-san? How was it?" Kenta asked hopefully.

"Not bad, Kenta," Keisuke replied with an air that sounded more disinterested than he actually was. Truthfully, he was pretty impressed that Kenta's observations of Fujiwara had led to such a marked improvement in his technique.

"Really?" Kenta gushed excitedly.

"I said it wasn't bad. I didn't say it was great. You're still wobbly on the exits, and you still understeer slightly on left hand corners. And though your braking timing was later than it's ever been before, it still wasn't perfect. You still hesitate slightly, like an indecision. Also, you still haven't figured out the best line for this course, and it's our home course! If you still can't master your home course, you're nowhere near the level of a Project D driver."

Keisuke expected that Kenta would sulk in frustration, but, instead, Kenta looked joyful. "Amazing!"

"What, idiot?"

"The way you explained that to me just now. It almost sounded like Ryousuke-san talking!"

"Eh?!" Keisuke replied with true surprise in his voice.

"I mean it. What you said was right...I do hesitate for a split second before I decide where to brake. Honestly, braking late like that going into a corner is still terrifying to me. And, I know I'm not at Fujiwara's level of attacking and speed. But, I'm trying. Have I improved?"

"Yeah, Kenta, you have. Don't expect me to kiss you or anything for it, though," Keisuke commented sarcastically, still in disbelief that Kenta would compare him to Aniki.

"Keisuke-san!" Kenta shouted in exasperation. "That's just...not right!"

"Cool it, you dumbass!" Keisuke retorted as he returned to the driver's seat of the FD. "Really, nice job. Keep at it."

Keisuke rolled up his window, waved good bye to a beaming Kenta, and sped off toward home. Kenta may have been thrilled, but, somehow, Keisuke felt even happier. Even if it was just Kenta, to be compared in any way to Ryousuke was great. Keisuke felt more and more at ease when he thought about the end of Project D and what lay ahead.

Keisuke was going to be _big_ ; of that, he was one hundred percent certain.

"We'll see how you match up now that it's the big time, Weirdo!" he said to his steering wheel as he floored the gas and headed quickly for home.


	4. Chapter 4

Takahashi Residence. Thursday, 2:58 AM.

Keisuke once again parked too close to his brother's FC then dragged himself into the house, trying to ignore the presence of the "his" Benz currently parked next to the "hers" Benz in the ample garage. He was happy for Kenta, but he was exhausted. Honestly, if Ryousuke was still sleeping, Keisuke would probably go right to bed himself. He grabbed a bottled water for the night and went upstairs.

He passed by Ryousuke's room and only a hint of light reached the frosted door. 'Is he up? Looks like it's the bathroom light,' Keisuke thought. He lingered just beyond the door for a moment, debating over whether or not he should knock. Hearing nothing, he gave up and walked down the corridor to his own room. It was late, or, early really, and he could talk to Ryousuke later.

He opened the door to his own room, carefully traversed the cluttered expanse of his floor, and set the bottled water gingerly on a stack of magazines on his nightstand. He didn't bother to turn on the light or to change into sleeping clothes, electing instead only to shed his jeans and shirt and slide into bed in just his boxer briefs. He tried to will himself to fall asleep instantly like Fujiwara always managed to do, no matter how much pressure they were under from the battles of Project D. Ruefully, Keisuke had come to realize that Fujiwara had become as much of an expert at what he liked to call "instant coma" as was his Aniki. Keisuke had wondered how such a spacey guy could be so mentally tough, immune really, up against incredible pressure and anticipation. Keisuke laughed slightly to himself, wondering what Fujiwara Takumi thought about when he was spaced out, or if his mind was as blank as his expression. 'Heh. Doubtful. He may look like a little baby, but he's one tough little bastard...'

It was so ironic. Keisuke was the one with the reputation for violence and anger, and, yet, he couldn't help but to feel that, compared to Fujiwara, he was the more sensitive one. Of course, that was only true under very specific conditions, but, it made Keisuke uneasy at times. Whenever he'd heard Fumihiro or the mechanics refer to Fujiwara as "mild-mannered" or even "docile", he couldn't help swallowing a guffaw, or nearly choking on his own cigarette smoke.

'Yeah, right. Try racing that bastard.'

At least Aniki understood it, and, even Kenta did to a degree. That "docile" guy was downright fierce. The "Fujiwara Zone" was what Ryousuke had called it. It had to be similar to an elite athlete who hits their groove, or something. Keisuke had occasionally witnessed it personally in practice runs with his rival, when, out of nowhere that could be described as reasonable, the old hachi-roku would suddenly put distance between himself and Keisuke and his FD. It definitely could make a person nervous, especially if that person was the one planning on wiping the pavement with whatever car's ass in a rematch on a professional track. Keisuke put his hand over his eyes, then pulled anxiously at his spiky hair, trying to physically force the thoughts of Fujiwara out of his head. Now that the hachi-roku was gone, what kind of machine would Fujiwara drive? It just didn't seem right for him to be behind the wheel of anything but the little Panda Trueno. He'd tried to ask Ryousuke about what he thought Fujiwara was going to do without that car but his brother somehow changed the subject before Keisuke had remembered that he never answered him.

In fact, Keisuke couldn't remember his brother saying much of anything once the hachi-roku was prepped on the flatbed ready to be towed back to Gunma. He had offered to fix the car, but Fujiwara had declined, declaring that he would take it back to Shibukawa and fix it over time on his own. After that, Ryousuke had said no more about it. That was certainly unusual in and of itself; Ryousuke loved to lecture about anything, especially about that stupid car.

"Aniki," Keisuke whispered softly aloud to his ceiling, "thinking sucks."

With that pronouncement made, Keisuke felt the approach of a welcome sleep, secretly wishing he could be the proverbial "fly on the wall" in the head of his rival. He figured it would either be incredibly boring, or incredibly disturbing, or some whack-ass combination of the two.

Weirdo.

* * *

Mt. Akina. Thursday, 4:25 AM.

"Thanks for the delivery, Fujiwara-kun; good job," said the kitchen manager of the mountain-top hotel.

"Sure thing, I'll see you tomorrow," replied a half-asleep Fujiwara Takumi. Nearly every day, since he was a child of twelve in junior high, he had delivered his father's tofu to the hotel, receiving the thank you and a check from the kitchen manager. The names and faces of the managers had changed repeatedly over the years, but the morning delivery from the Fujiwara Tofu Shop was a constant. The hotel was their best customer, and the chef had insisted that he would only use Fujiwara Tofu in his preparations.

The nineteen year old returned to his father's Subaru Impreza and slid into the seat, fastening the seatbelt and not bothering to stifle a yawn. He turned the ignition, revved the powerful engine, and prepared to make the descent he had made hundreds, if not over a thousand, times before.

It was different now, though. The hachi-roku was gone.

 _It's fine. It was time, it's okay, right?_

The Imp really was great if he had to admit it to himself plainly. Especially great was the air conditioning during the hotter months. Keisuke had tried to suggest he could use "this guy" in the "End of Project D Rematch" between the Double Aces that never even happened, and that which no one on the team had even wanted to see. Takumi sort of had a vague recollection of telling his friend and rival that using the Imp would make things too easy, and he sort of remembered Keisuke giving him an ugly look and a couple of the other guys calling him impudent and cheeky or whatever. But, as the Shitty Old Man sometimes said, "drunk was sober talking", so he hadn't really meant anything mean or rude about it; it just slipped out thanks to the three or four cans of Asahi he'd been given by Keisuke to consume.

As much as Takumi had developed a certain acceptance about the end of the old car, however, the reality was that the hachi-roku would always be _the_ car, the car that had turned his life from his status as a pretty-boring-average-or-a-little-less school boy to someone worthy of living Ryousuke's Dream.

 _Is this really okay? What should I do now, Ryousuke-san? No. You're on your own now, hasn't he given you enough?_

Takumi used to hate being dragged out of bed before school, forced to drive the Shitty Old Man's shitty old car, rain or shine, snow or sleet. Every day, a single cup of water placed into the cup holder, with the admonition to keep it from spilling, was subtly training the boy to become a top class mountain pass driver. "Drive however you want, just don't spill the water, or you'll damage the tofu," his old man cautioned every day like a broken record. The uphill was the chore to ensure that the product was delivered. On the downhill, the tofu was gone, and Takumi could do as he pleased, as long as not one drop of water left the paper cup.

First corner. 120KPH. 8000 RPM. He shifted up, his right foot expertly balanced between brake and accelerator. He was using minimal steer to try to get the Imp to be some weird interpretation of "better" than the hachi-roku. Shift down. Repeat at next corner.

A routine run at a leisurely pace was all Takumi intended for the morning.

Out of no motivation other than boredom and a desire to return home as quickly as possible, Takumi had experimented on the downhill of Mt. Akina, pushing his driving to his father's given limit of not spilling the water in the cup. Before the incredible racing engine which had powered the hachi-roku until the very end had been installed, the overspeed bell of the black and white car would ring in his ears as he floored the accelerator into the severe slopes and corners of the Mt. Akina downhill, rolling the water, using the surface tension to keep the balance steady. While he had been blissfully unaware, Takumi's control of the small, old car was being brought to a level inconceivable to most people.

He approached the skate park straightaway; clutch in, clutch out, pedal to the floor, the engine noise echoing through the pass. In the Imp, it was One-Hand-Steer the whole way down.

Last summer, however, everything changed. He had been eighteen, and he passed a yellow sports car on the downhill, suppressing a yawn the whole way. But, something small had changed in Takumi that morning. He realized that he might actually have enjoyed chasing that crazy yellow car, just a bit.

He dove into the first of the five hairpin turns, not bothering with the gutter run today, taking it easy. The One-Hand-Steer sure was easier in the Imp. Now he'd never know if he could have mastered it with the hachi-roku or not. His father had said that if he could do that, he'd be very good indeed. Now that would remain an unknown.

From that time last summer onward, Fujiwara Takumi's passion for street racing was, albeit reluctantly, awakened. He raced the flashy yellow car, the FD3S Mazda RX-7 owned by Takahashi Keisuke, the younger of the so-called Takahashi Rotary Brothers, not that he even knew or cared who they were at that time. He had won, somehow.

Takumi's senpai at the gasoline stand where he worked part time had a friendly, if mediocre, street racing team. Takumi had started to learn about racing at the oft times too eager urging of his best childhood friend, Takeuchi Itsuki. With Itsuki, and Iketani-senpai and his friend Kenji-senpai, the Akina Speed Stars suddenly found themselves on the map of Gunma Area street racing, and the target of several challengers. In actuality, the challengers had only one person they ever wanted to race against: the downhill specialist of Akina, the driver of the Fujiwara Tofu Shop hachi-roku.

Second hairpin turn.

 _Huh?_

Something caught Takumi's glance while whipping the Imp around the corner.

 _Looks like someone tried to get fancy here last night._

Somehow, at the dizzying speed, he was able to spy fresh damage to the guardrail not present even 24 hours ago.

 _Under steer? Spin-out?_

He tried mentally to calculate the cause of the damage. He failed. Was he really about to become a professional racer?

 _Only one person I know would be able to tell just by looking at the damage of the guardrail..._

Though Takumi was never officially part of Iketani-senpai's team, he raced for what he discovered was the pride of protecting one's home turf from outside challengers. At the time, he still didn't understand the meaning of it all, but, as the challengers kept coming, the desire to win and to drive faster and better each time began to grow. Challenge after challenge was made, usually after trash talking the old Toyota, the opponent eager to be "the one" to end the miraculous winning streak of the more than decade old car.

There was, however, one very notable exception to this pattern.

Fourth hairpin turn.

 _Ryousuke-san... he'd know exactly what happened to whoever last night. Tch. Why'd I have to start thinking about him...again?_

The Imp rocketed past the corner. It still wasn't the hachi-roku.

Takumi scowled to himself as he felt involuntary heat come to his cheeks. Luckily, there were no witnesses this time. Good.

 _I wonder how Mika-chan is doing in her tournament. Shouldn't I be thinking about her instead? It was nice to see her in that bikini, right?…I'm weird._

A truck bearing the insignia of a flower shop had pulled into the gasoline stand one afternoon with a delivery. Takumi remembered a very incredulous looking Tachibana Yuuichi, their manager, looking at the flower delivery man like he had obviously made a wrong turn. "This is a gasoline stand, you know," he had said to the insistent driver who had simply wanted to deliver his roses and take off.

"There's no mistake, please, sign here," the rushed man had said, literally forcing the bouquet of roses upon the manager. Takumi then saw a look of surprise cross the boss's face. "Takumi, they're for you...it's from Takahashi Ryousuke!" he exclaimed, after examining a card tucked into the bouquet.

Final corner.

He performed a flawless high speed entry, high speed exit, flooring the Imp-rocket to the goal. Now it was time to head home to sleep, the pre-dawn scenery of the mountain now fading to black in the back mirror.

 _Thank God that no one found out I kept those stupid flowers until there was literally nothing left of them. Why did I keep them anyway?_

"To the Trueno. Saturday, August xth,10 PM, the top of Mt. Akina," Takumi had read, and, he knew what the simple, yet formal, note had meant: it was a challenge. He remembered not being able to really think clearly for a few moments after the card had been read over by Iketani-senpai. 'What type of person was Takahashi Ryousuke? Who sends flowers to an opponent? Don't you send flowers to girlfriends, not guys who drove cars?' Takumi had thought as his mind raced. For some reason, he felt his cheeks heat up the same way they did when he had been around Mogi Natsuki from school. He had never sent Mogi any flowers, but, of course, they weren't really "dating", were they? He was snapped back into reality when he heard Iketani speak once more.

"It's finally here. Takahashi Ryousuke!"

The weird feelings were pushed aside, and Takumi became determined. He knew this would be the toughest challenge yet in his fledgling racing career, but he had already mentioned that he would have liked to challenge the "White Comet of Akagi", the nickname by which Ryousuke had been formerly known. He was already very conscious of the elder Rotary Brother, and he was certainly not going to back down.

He cruised the Imp back home at legal speed. Right turn, left turn.

When the shop came into view, Takumi eased the Impreza into the narrow parking space between his home and the building next door, remembering how annoyed he used to be to see the Imp there, forcing him to park his beloved hachi-roku on the street instead. How often had he thought, 'We need another parking spot, Cheap Shitty Old Man'?

Now, there was only one car, and it wasn't the hachi-roku. He had that sickening feeling as he knew what was happening after he over-revved during his final Kanegawa battle while flipping the switch for the headlights. Again, he destroyed the heart of the car, a heart that had cost his own life savings, plenty of money from the Shitty Old Man, and that which was further maintained by Ryousuke besides. He had the thought that maybe, slowly and over time, he could put the car back together by himself. He had told Ryousuke that was what he wanted to do. But, the damage was severe; even the Shitty Old Man didn't have much to say after inspecting under the hood when it arrived on a flatbed to the gasoline stand.

As far as he knew, he still technically owned it. No one had yet to request proof of ownership in the form of a title. He hadn't yet received any receipts from a scrapyard declaring that it had been parted out or anything, so Takumi knew that the hachi-roku was out there somewhere. He just wasn't quite sure where, and, naturally, his father wasn't saying much about it. It had been parked in the parking space for a few days after getting that brief once-over at the gasoline stand, and, without a warning or explanation from the elder Fujiwara, the hachi-roku was just not there anymore when he arrived home from his job at the moving and parcel delivery company.

Takumi couldn't even bring himself to ask where it had gone, fearing of being told a truth he wasn't sure he was ready to hear.

 _I keep saying it's fine, that I've accepted it. Maybe I haven't…completely…_

He exited the Impreza and entered the home behind the Tofu Shop and stepped over the snoring Shitty Old Man. He did love that "shitty old man" and the his-turned-yours hachi-roku that was no longer parked outside on the street. There was no way his relationship with his father could ever be described as a conventional parent-child relationship, but it had mostly worked. He'd discovered through D that there were all kinds of people in this world, and his final opponent that drove the two door hachi-roku was younger than he was himself, and drove the same special car under ridiculously similar circumstances. If he hadn't met the young Inui Shinji himself, he wouldn't have believed such a thing could be possible.

 _How did Ryousuke-san know? How did he always know?_

Takumi decided to go back to bed for two hours before work and to try not to think about Ryousuke, the person who always seemed to know just what he was thinking before even Takumi himself did.

He hadn't asked Ryousuke anything else about the hachi-roku either, thinking that the elder might chastise him for asking the question to which he ought to know the answer himself. It was clear, even to a mechanical novice, that the engine damage was irreparable, and also irreparable were a myriad of other things that broke during Takumi's last ditch move to control the car by using the clutch to push the car in reverse over the finish line in that final battle with Shinji and his two-door.

However, part of him also didn't want to ask because he knew that, on some level, Ryousuke felt responsible for the engine blow; it was his advice that led Takumi to utilize the upper revolution limits of the engine. However, Takumi had asserted himself with Ryousuke and his chief Matsuoto that it was his own mistake, and he didn't want to accept his leader's offer to fix it, even if he knew it might take him years tinkering with it on his own. He was the one who became distracted and crushed the heart of his car.

Even as he was speaking the words, however, trying to sound less upset than he really was, Takumi thought he saw a flicker of something dance briefly across Ryousuke's face, his eyes, that told him that his team leader didn't totally buy Takumi's assertion that it was not the elder's fault.

What was it that he saw in Ryousuke's expression? He thought he'd seen something similar that summer one year ago, but he couldn't be certain. When it came to the leader of Project D, Takumi thought that there were painfully few things that he was certain about: he was driven, brilliant, and he always had a reason for doing what he did, even if no one else could figure it out until the absolute critical moment. Ryousuke's expressions, Takumi thought, were usually calm yet serious, but, every once in a while, they simply _weren't._ There was a passion there, Takumi knew; he'd seen sides of Ryousuke here and there that spoke to it, but it was like that passion was simmering beneath a finely crafted exterior that the teenager couldn't quite figure out why his mentor found it necessary to have. It was in those times that Takumi still felt very far away from Ryousuke, as far away as he felt when he drove the hachi-roku up to the starting point of the Akina downhill to race a person who was already a legend many times over.

Takumi remembered the battle as if it was yesterday, and not over a year ago. So much had happened since then; he had been part of Project D, the elite street racing team formed by none other than Takahashi Ryousuke himself. But, it was in that first battle against Ryousuke that Takumi had felt that he was truly witnessing an a amazing talent, a talent worth aspiring to. It went beyond talent; it _was_ passion. He had already noticed the white FC following the battle between himself and Takeshi Nakazato of the Night Kids of Mt. Myougi; the feeling he got from simply glimpsing the RX-7 was so intense. It had even prompted the normally disinterested Takumi to ask Iketani about it, much to the surprise and delight of his friends.

Ryousuke was special. Even though Takumi won the battle, he would say even to this day that he had not truly bested Ryousuke. Even with the many difficult battles of Project D behind him, he still felt he had much to learn from the man who had become his mentor for the last year. In every battle Takumi entered, he wanted desperately to win for Ryousuke, much more than for himself. This was Ryousuke's Dream, or, his _game_ , as the man had put it when he had first asked Takumi to be a part of D.

 _I need to try and sleep. What was Ryousuke thinking about how things ended? Was he…happy? Have I really earned his respect after all this time?_

Takumi had never felt worthy of his team. He always tried to improve, to secure his spot among these giants of the togue. There had been many days of struggle when he felt as unworthy as he did when Ryousuke had first appeared to recruit him for D.

The afternoon the white FC pulled into the gasoline stand, Ryousuke had come in person to speak to Takumi. At that time, he was working, and Ryousuke had asked him to call when he was finished for the day, not wanting to interrupt the young hachi-roku driver at work. He gave Takumi his personal cell phone number, and Takumi had instantly felt his cheeks flush again. There was something about Ryousuke, his aura, his "charisma" as he had heard Kenji and Iketani describe it. He was unlike any person Takumi had ever met before in his young life.

Takumi just couldn't seem to help but to be nervous and excited whenever he saw the elder Takahashi, even his friends teased him about it, which had been so dreadfully embarrassing. But, he had to admit, Ryousuke was in a class by himself, always sharply dressed, and perfectly polished. For a guy, Takumi had thought, he was incredibly handsome.

 _Why am I still so concerned about Ryousuke-san right now?_

Takumi took his time, but he already knew that he would follow Ryousuke and join the team. One morning, Keisuke had caught him on his tofu run, telling him that he should join, and, after the year was over, they would have a rematch. Those guys were the real deal, he had thought, and so Takumi began his tutelage, and, when spring arrived, the battles began.

Ryousuke had spared no expense to nurture Takumi's talent. There were so many times when Takumi inwardly cringed when he thought of the amount of money that was spent on him as a member of Project D, but his mentor never asked for anything but his best work in races.

"I want your technique." That was what he had said in that authoritative, yet calm voice of his.

When he would win, and see the look on Ryousuke's face, it made all the struggling against his opponents worth it. To see Ryousuke express joy, even though Takumi knew he often went for days on end without sleeping, was a joy in and of itself. As the battles went on, Takumi wanted to continue to live up to the man's expectations, and he especially wanted that nod of approval, or, better still, the tight grip of Ryousuke's hand on his shoulder after an especially tough battle won by some miracle of good fortune. He often thought he had won by luck alone, not convinced in the thought that luck was an element of Ryousuke's pet theory of "Fastest Speed on Public Roads", a luck enabled by high level technique. Takumi still didn't realize his own talent.

W _hy is he the one who's always on my mind? Is it because D is over now? Why is it always him? Shouldn't I be thinking more about Mika-chan?_

Takumi realized that sleep was not going to come and decided to take a shower instead, hoping that thoughts of Uehara Mika could replace those that always and persistently seemed to return to D, and to Ryousuke.

 _Mika-chan is a good girl, after all, but, we aren't really "dating", are we? Does hanging out at a restaurant sometimes and going to the beach once count? Didn't I think it was love at first sight? Don't I feel flustered around her? Isn't she hotter than hot? Haven't I asked myself these questions before about Mogi? And Mika-chan doesn't have that other thing going on. Why am I thinking about even_ that?

Takumi cringed inwardly at the painful memory of Mogi Natuski, his former "whatever-she-was" from high school who got money from some old dude for sex. It was the first time he had broken the heart of the hachi-roku, when the knowledge of that fact about Mogi had led him to lose his temper, be _stupid,_ and blow out the engine against that Sudou of Team Emperor...in front of Ryousuke and Keisuke both, no less.

 _Shit. And I still had sex with Mogi anyway, even after I knew everything. And I liked it, at least a little. Why did Ryousuke-san still choose me after he saw me destroy my car?_

Whenever Takumi was in Ryousuke's presence, he still felt a certain measure of awe. Takumi had been a mediocre student at best, yet Ryousuke was at the top of his class in medical school. The Fujiwara were not toatlly destitute, but they lived humbly, in stark comparison to the lavish home in which the Takahashi brothers resided, though Takumi had only been there once or twice. Perhaps what astounded Takumi the most was that a person like Ryousuke would even bother with him at all, and that, at heart, he was a racer's racer, not always interested in the fancy trappings his obvious wealth could provide.

Well, other than his wardrobe.

 _Idiot. Why the hell do I always notice his wardrobe anyway?_ _What am I, confused or something? He's a guy…is it because he spent so much time with me and the hachi-roku that I always noticed him? Didn't Keisuke-san's FD deserve more?_

His shower completed, but with his thoughts still somewhat muddled, Takumi donned his moving company uniform, and lazily walked downstairs.

"Time for work?" muttered his father, Bunta, dangling a cigarette from his lips as he spoke.

"Yeah."

 _Captain Obvious, whatever gave it away?_

"Sleep?" inquired Captain Obvious.

"Enough," Takumi lied.

"Okay. See ya."

"Yeah, see ya, Dad."

Takumi yawned and got into the Impreza for the second time that morning, heading for another day at the local moving and parcel company. 'At least I only have a short shift today,' he thought, yawning yet again. He supposed he might head over to the gasoline stand after work to see what his friends were up to. Since there was a hiatus before contracts could be finalized due to Ryousuke's exam schedule, and since Mika was already on her way out of town for her latest golf tournament, he really had nowhere else he'd rather go. At least, that's what he allowed himself to believe. Truthfully, however, Takumi always felt comfortable around the guys at the gas stand, although he admitted to himself that he had grown to be pretty comfortable around most of his Project D teammates, especially Keisuke. For some reason, the last person he would think to call a friend had pretty much become a friend. It was sort of an uneasy friendship, but, then again, most of his friendships aside from Itsuki were that way anyway.

Social situations were really not his forte, and, thankfully, his gasoline stand friends knew enough to respect that. Most of the time.

Suddenly, Takumi had a feeling that something was afoot. Chiding himself for the thought, he finished the drive to work, parked, and clocked in for his shift.


	5. Chapter 5

Takahashi Residence, Thursday, 11:00 AM.

Keisuke opened his eyes, only to realize that he must not have slept as soundly as he had thought he had. His face was mashed into the pillow, his blankets tossed over one side of his bed, his right leg hanging over the other. He sat up, cursing himself for not dressing properly for bed because, despite the fact that it was late summer, he was freezing.

He scooped up the blanket and covered himself for a few moments. He reached for the water he had brought with him when he came home and opened it, tossing the bottle cap somewhere in the vicinity of his overflowing rubbish bin. He took a drink, surveying his domain, wondering where the most likely place for a bath towel might be.

He scanned the room, making mental notes of all the things he needed to gather up before heading into his bathroom. He had a very important mission to accomplish today: get that weirdo to go out. If possible, Keisuke would also like to get him more drunk than he had been at the party, though, he realized that wasn't likely to happen. But, Keisuke had always been a firm believer in the notion that you could really tell a person's true nature after drinking together, so he couldn't help but to be curious as to what else he might learn from his rival if Fujiwara were to be less than sober. He'd seen a little when the teenager got buzzed at the disbandment party, and it was pretty entertaining and fun since they had been getting along pretty well lately, despite his little shitty remarks about it being too easy for him to use the Impreza in a rematch. Keisuke thought it might be even more fun to see how he was when completely drunk off his weird little ass.

Part of him thought Fujiwara might end up being a violent drunk, though. Quiet guys usually were. Maybe he shouldn't try anything funny after all, Keisuke thought with a slight measure of disappointment.

'Well,' Keisuke thought, glancing at the clock, 'time to bother Aniki for a while, I guess.'

He shoved on a pair of mostly clean sweatpants, nixed the idea of a shirt, visited the bathroom, and started to make his way toward Aniki's room, putting off a shower for the time being. The door was open, which usually meant that Ryousuke was not in his room, or, perhaps, not even home. A quick peek inside verified that the room was currently devoid of its occupant, but Keisuke still couldn't tell if Ryousuke was gone, or if he was simply somewhere else in the house.

Keisuke's stomach suddenly took priority over annoying Ryousuke, and he made a beeline for the kitchen. The scent of coffee greeted him, and he developed tunnel vision for the coffee maker, not even taking notice of his brother and their younger cousin Tsugumi reading at the dining room table in the next room. 'Muffins', Keisuke observed on the kitchen island, cramming one into his mouth as he reached for a mug.

Ryousuke heard the clattering of a mug being taken down roughly from the cupboard, and the sound of coffee pouring and a sickening amount of sugar being added into it. He peered over the laptop screen and met Tsugumi's gaze as she rolled her eyes.

"I guess Keisuke is _finally_ out of bed! My Useless Cousin!" she said, loudly enough for both Keisuke to hear it over his coffee preparation ritual, and for Ryousuke to give the girl an admonishing look. Tsugumi got the message and went back to her English textbook.

Keisuke stumbled into the dining room as Ryousuke kept working. He had just about had it with the girl. Didn't she know she was treading on thin ice? Sure he'd promised not to tell his brother about her secret, but it was seriously getting old now, and he hadn't even taken two sips from his coffee yet and she was already bugging him. 'Well, no time like the present. Sorry, Aniki, but this crap has got to stop,' he thought, ready to give his cousin a little hell. Or a lot of hell.

"Good morning, Aniki. Good morning, Troll."

Keisuke's greeting earned a quiet "Hmm" from Ryousuke, and the sight of Tsugumi pulling down the skin under her eye with her finger, and sticking out her tongue, like a child half her age. Ryousuke emitted a slightly less than subtle sigh of disapproval for both of them.

"Hmm...I just want to thank you, cousin of mine," Keisuke said in a sarcastic tone as he grabbed one end of the book Tsugumi was studying and deftly slammed it shut, nearly catching her finger in it in the process.

"Hey! Jerk face!"

Ryousuke tried to ignore the predictable exchange, but shook his head imperceptibly. The two of them had now entered their own world of immature insults.

"Troll! Is that any way to behave toward your big cousin who just _thanked_ you?" Keisuke persisted, lowering his head to Tsugumi's ear as he spoke, causing her to shove him away.

"Shut up, dummy!"

Tsugumi scrunched up her face. Ryousuke stole a glance at her. At times like these, she acted about ten years younger than she was. At other times, the opposite was true and maddening in its own way for Ryousuke. "Thank me for what?" Tsugumi asked cautiously, trying to relocate her place in the book.

"I want to thank you for reminding me that I should always wear a condom; don't ever want another little shit like you running around!" Keisuke blurted out before a stunned Ryousuke could comprehend exactly what he just said.

Tsugumi screamed "Eeeeeeeeeew!" and Ryousuke finally found his voice, and raised it in disapproval.

"Keisuke, shut _up_!" Ryousuke shouted icily, horrified that his brother would make such a comment in front of their young female cousin. It made Ryousuke uncomfortable and pissed. "What the _hell_ was that for?" he demanded, his eyes narrowed into an extremely irritated expression. But, Keisuke was now in full argument mode. He had been accosted by the sight of his least favorite cousin when he had barely started his first cup of coffee, after all. Someone had to pay the price.

"What? It's the truth, Aniki, I'm just being honest with the little brat," Keisuke calmly replied to his angry looking brother, not missing a sip of coffee. Ryousuke was about to retort when Tsugumi stood up sharply, her small frame barely reaching to the height of Keisuke's chest.

"You're gross! I'm a _lady_! You shouldn't say things like that when I'm around! You should put some clothes on! And no _decent_ girl would ever get with an idiot like you!" She was putting on the innocent, flustered performance for Aniki's benefit. Keisuke knew better, however. Their young cousin was not as innocent as she claimed to be, but she loved to have Ryousuke dutifully eating out of her hand, so she played the innocent schoolgirl routine with him to the maximum.

'Here we go,' Ryousuke thought as he moved his hands to massage his temples, trying very hard not to sink to their level by hauling off and hitting Keisuke himself. 'So much for a quiet English lesson this morning.'

"Oh- _ho!_ You hear that, Aniki? She's a _lady_! Well, _par-don me_! I guess you are old enough to know about stuff like that, now aren't ya?" Keisuke sneered, smacking Tsugumi on the rear end.

"Hey!"

" _Keisuke_!..." Ryousuke shouted, officially pissed off, uncharacteristically slamming his fist down hard on the table, causing Tsugumi to literally jump, a wide-eyed expression on her face. He collected himself, feeling the start of a headache. "Shut...up...," he seethed in a soft voice that was actually scarier than him yelling. Keisuke had to tread carefully here, he knew Aniki's limit was pretty much exceeded, but, he was really sick of "little" Tsugumi playing Ryousuke for a fool. Keisuke had no clue as to why his brother put up with so much crap from the girl, but he always did. His brother really had rose colored glasses when it came to Tsugumi, and it was time he faced reality.

"Stop treating her like some innocent little angel, Aniki. She's said worse to me when you're not around," he protested to his brother.

"I have not!" Tsugumi petulantly retorted.

"Oh, but you have, you little shit. You know what's up, don't ya, Tsu- _chan?_ I bet you wouldn't want Aniki to know about all your chat room activities when he's not here!"

Ryousuke suddenly looked up and cast his attention on their cousin who was blushing furiously, hopefully, Ryousuke thought, out of anger and not guilt. "What is he talking about, Tsugumi?" he queried, trying to remain calm.

"Nothing, Ryousuke, I swear!"

"Keisuke?" Ryousuke asked seriously.

"Heh, you'll never hear it from her, but _I'd_ be happy to share," Keisuke said smugly, feeling the weight of Ryousuke's anger shift very slightly to Tsugumi. 'Gotcha, you little tramp!' he said to himself as he saw Tsugumi seriously squirming. Keisuke knew he probably would have to disappear for the rest of the day because Ryousuke really was pissed off, but it was worth it if it meant Tsugumi wasn't some perfect little porcelain doll in Ryousuke's eyes anymore.

To the elder's dismay, Tsugumi was playing right into Keisuke's immature hand instead of explaining what Keisuke had meant. "Keisuke, you suck! That stuff's private, but, not that it matters because there's nothing in there like how you say it!"

"Good," Ryousuke said calmly. Tsugumi snapped her attention back to Ryousuke, smiling sweetly. Keisuke made a gagging noise that threatened to send Ryousuke's wrath back fully onto him.

"At least my favorite big cousin knows it's the truth," Tsugumi asserted to Keisuke.

"Quiet, both of you. You didn't let me finish, Tsugumi," Ryousuke said, his tone colder than an arctic blast. "If it's innocent like you say it is, then why don't you just log on and show me?" he asked smoothly, moving the laptop over slightly.

"Uh-oh, Tsu- _chan_ , the gig is up, looks like," Keisuke whispered. Tsugumi had a horrified expression on her face.

"And you, Keisuke, I'll have words with you later also," Ryousuke said flatly. Keisuke stepped back slightly, and focused on finishing his coffee. This was better than live theater. Time to see how Aniki would play this one out.

"Ryousuke, it's all really boring, so I'm sure you have better things to do than read my blog and chats, and stuff..." Tsugumi stammered.

"No, Tsugumi, I'd just love to be enlightened. Perhaps this will go toward explaining why you have failed English for the second time, something I have never been able to understand," Ryousuke added softly, with a slight hint of sarcasm that only Keisuke's ears, having lived with his brother his whole life, could detect. "Maybe you spend too much time online."

"N-not really, not at all, I'm just not smart like you, so I stink at school," she said by way of an excuse.

Keisuke was trying not to visibly enjoy this exchange, but, he was really happy to stick it to the little-pseudo-sister-he-never-wanted. This was a totally new experience for her, and she was suffering beautifully. Keisuke had felt Ryousuke's anger plenty of times; Tsugumi, never. Aniki never got on her case for anything, whether it be watching soap operas instead of studying, or hanging out with friends instead of taking extra curricular activities, or any such diversion from her schoolwork the little brat came up with.

But, her little online escapades which Keisuke had totally discovered by accident, like role playing games and random chat room visits, were a little weird for a fifteen year old, especially when he peeked at the monitor of her laptop when she excused herself for the bathroom. He was really shocked. Her online persona was really nothing like the "sweet schoolgirl" side she always showed Ryousuke. After reading enough to realize the girl was speaking from at least some form of real-world experience, Keisuke knew that if Ryousuke ever found out, he'd either, well, die from shock, or try to trace all the guys Tsugumi ever talked to through the computer, and give them a piece of his substantial mind.

She had always been a pain in Keisuke's rear end, but even Keisuke thought what she was doing was kind of iffy, and maybe even potentially dangerous. Tsugumi had tried to cover it up when she realized Keisuke had been looking at her computer, but she also realized the damage had been done. It was the only time the girl had ever asked anything of Keisuke, and, he could see how the easygoing charm she put on could be like Kryptonite for his over-stressed, over-worked, over-everything Aniki. He had kept his mouth shut, though, because, as much as he hated to admit it, the girl really did have a way of making Ryousuke very happy. Part of him was kind of sad for his brother to have his image of her shattered.

But, enough was enough, and Keisuke was ready for the shit to hit the fan. He really didn't like keeping anything from his brother if he could help it, so it had to happen. However, Keisuke prepared for Aniki to be really pissy and sulky for the next long while. It looked like the chances of him going out were about to plummet from 50-50 to 99-1 against, Fujiwara Social Experiment or not.

"Tsugumi," Ryousuke repeated. "Log in to your accounts. All of them." His tone said very clearly that it was an order, and not a request.

"Okay," Tsugumi whispered. She clicked her way to a few sites, and logged in. Seconds later, her online pals were greeting her. She tried to type a response, but Ryousuke slid the computer back in front of him before she could hit "send message".

A heavy silence came over the three young cousins, and Tsugumi shot Keisuke a death glare or two. Keisuke was focused on Ryousuke, who was reading intently, his face expressionless. He clicked a few things, presumably to find chat logs or posts. Keisuke thought he saw his eyes widen slightly, and he rested his chin on the heel of his left hand and his elbow on the table as he continued to click and read.

"Ryousuke..." Tsugumi ventured sheepishly.

"Not now, Tsugumi," Ryousuke replied, never meeting her eyes.

Keisuke could see a slight flush come to his brother's cheeks, then disappear as quickly as it had arrived. He was definitely pissed, but, there was something...else. Keisuke thought it might have been disappointment. He had been the unfortunate recipient of that look before when he had done something incredibly stupid, like when he didn't avoid the oil those creeps had spilled all over the course, causing damage to the FD. If it hadn't been for Kyouko showing up and loaning him her own FD, Project D would surely have been handed its first loss. And it would have been his fault. Keisuke had wanted to track down the culprits and beat the shit out of them, but Aniki raised his voice and spat, "Keisuke! Don't go off half-cocked thinking you can do whatever the hell you want! It's your fault! If I had been driving, the car would not have been so badly damaged!" It sickened Keisuke to know that Ryousuke had been absolutely right. The look Aniki had on his face then was the same one he had now.

Keisuke suddenly felt incredibly remorseful for the little game he had played this morning. He hadn't really intended to cause Aniki _pain_ , just to give him a wake-up call. He had intended to make Tsugumi miserable, but now, that was horribly beside the point. It was looking like he had scored another screw-up. Great.

"Aniki," Keisuke began.

"You've done enough, Keisuke. Why don't you take off? I'd like to talk to Tsugumi, please. Alone," Ryousuke said quietly, in a tone that sounded almost...defeated.

"You sure?"

"It was not a request, Keisuke."

"Okay. I'm out." He turned to leave, then thought better of it. "Tsugumi, I'm sorry, but, even I think what you do online is sketchy. He was bound to find out. He finds out everything, you know, given time and information."

Silent tears were already falling down Tsugumi's cheeks as Keisuke left the room and went upstairs. 'Shit. I'm really good at making chicks cry,' Keisuke thought, thinking of Kyouko once again. 'Ah well, what I said was right. Aniki would have found out anyway.'

With that, the younger brother made a quick exit toward the back staircase, and the pair that remained downstairs could hear him traversing the second floor, ostensibly toward the bathroom.

As they sat at the dining room table, English lesson forgotten, Ryousuke continued to examine the content of his young cousin's chats and read the instant messages as they popped up on the screen, ignoring the senders' requests for replies. To say that he was disturbed was an understatement. Tsugumi remained silent, but her cheeks were stained with tears. He heard the water running and assumed that Keisuke had stepped into the shower. He sighed. 'Where the hell do I begin with this?' he asked himself.

"R-Ryousuke?" the girl ventured.

"Tsugumi. I am beyond furious right now, just so you know."

She nodded, and her eyes welled up again. She had never seen Ryousuke like this. He was frighteningly cold. Tsugumi wished she could sink into the floor and take Keisuke with her, because Ryousuke was the last person she had wanted to find out about her activities. Keisuke had told her that's because she knew it was wrong, but she just brushed it aside. She had no idea why he agreed not to tell Ryousuke, but, now she was beginning to understand. The weight of her eldest cousin's disappointment and anger was devastating. Keisuke must have felt this before, and it was not a pleasant feeling. At all.

"It's just pretend, Ryousuke, it's anonymous, so there's no harm in playing a bit," she whispered.

"Hmm. 'No harm in playing'. Is it a game?"

Silence.

"It doesn't seem like it's a game with this one. You were planning to meet," he continued, turning the laptop so that Tsugumi could see, and pointing to several chat logs between "Baby Girl" and someone with the ridiculous handle "EvosRKewl".

Tsugumi blushed furiously.

"Is this person some kind of boyfriend?" Ryousuke asked, redirecting his own hurt feelings into anger.

"N-no, not really. I only know him on here," Tsugumi whispered.

"So you think it is acceptable to have this kind of...mature conversation with someone, let alone discuss meeting in person? Did it ever occur to you that he might want to play out your conversation for real? 'Baby Girl'?" he added dryly.

Tsugumi winced, but she wiped her eyes and looked Ryousuke square in the face. He was indeed furious. "It doesn't mean anything, I wasn't really going to meet him," Tsugumi stated, trying to assert herself, though she felt the remorse her conscience was trying to push into her gut. Seeing Ryousuke like this, Tsugumi knew that she had made a very big mistake indeed. But, she was not a kid anymore, and there was nothing wrong with having boyfriends, real world or otherwise. "It's just talk. Just messing around."

Ryousuke sighed. "It causes me concern. It causes me to wonder where you ever gained this kind of knowledge. These are adult conversations, hardly those that should be even typed by the hands of a fifteen year old."

Suddenly indignant, Tsugumi raised her voice. "I'm not a little girl anymore, Ryousuke!"

Ryousuke felt his cheeks heat slightly. "Apparently," he seethed, out of extreme anger and, he admitted to himself ruefully, a fair amount of jealousy. He pointed to a particularly racy exchange on the laptop. Though he knew he didn't want to, and he knew he shouldn't, he had to ask. "Are these descriptions restricted to your 'games' online or have you put your knowledge into practice?"

Silence.

"Answer me!" Ryousuke demanded.

"I want to go home, Cousin," Tsugumi whispered. "Take me home."

"Not until you answer my question," Ryousuke continued quietly, knowing already what the answer was, knowing that, once again, his affection for Tsugumi had always been his weakness. 'How many years has it been since she called me Cousin?' he thought sadly, feeling a detachment he never wanted to feel from her. He had always thought that somehow, in the future, they could be together, thus, keeping him from giving in to all the other desires he knew he shouldn't have. He always looked to her as a calming presence, an innocent companion: someone he could take care of, nurture, even love. He couldn't deny that she was cute, even pretty at times, though physical attraction was not what he placed to the fore. He had thought Tsugumi would grow into a role that would keep him honest, and on the path from Young Master to "upstanding citizen" that he was expected to take. Whether he liked it or not, he had a status, and his family had always looked to him to keep their honor. Part of that was sure to entail that he marry well, and Ryousuke felt that Tsugumi would be his only real choice. That plan seemed to be the best one after all, especially after the mess that was Kaori, the one he had only recently been able to mostly settle in Kanagawa.

They continued to sit in silence, Tsugumi's request to go home hanging in the air. Ryousuke looked at her intently, wondering where he was when all this had happened. Maybe he should have been more available to her recently, but, there was simply not enough time in the day to take care of everything and everyone.

There just never seemed to be enough _time_.

Tsugumi had always looked up to him, even when they were small. Perhaps, he admitted to himself, he enjoyed the stroking of his ego, her ability to instantly bring him out of a sour mood just by her presence alone. Ryousuke knew that she was still a child, and he had never acted upon his fondness of her, despite the fact that she sometimes appeared to be flirting. He was willing to wait, for decency's sake, keeping discreet relationships to the barest of minimums in the past, and virtually non-existent in the last couple of years. It was obvious now, he realized, that she had her own ideas, ones in which there was no inclusion of her "Cousin" at all.

Recollections of all those times when Tsugumi seemed to him much more like a woman than a girl came racing into his mind, the times when his restraint had been tested to the point of making a hasty exit to shower with icy water. Those were the times spent alone in self-admonition over thoughts about the future, thoughts that he shouldn't have about her while she was still a child, thoughts about others he desired and denied himself, and the fewer still that he had allowed himself with whom to indulge; all of these instances flooded in with an odd mix of shame and stupidity.

The harsh reality that Tsugumi was not innocent anymore was like tearing full speed into a corner with no grip from the tires and no response from the brakes. It was the situation where either one's skill hopefully gave rise to a bit of luck, enabling the driver to escape with his life, or else, a crash would be the only other outcome, and life could be instantly snuffed out. The feeling of adrenaline was the same, but the circumstance was different. It was his heart that seemed destined to crash and burn because Tsugumi had decided to grow up too soon, because she made her own choices and didn't wait for him like he was waiting for her. How could she have known such things? She could not have. She was not consulted. She was just expected to be there. Always.

Suddenly, Ryousuke realized his affection for her was a shield for himself, some kind of protection from careening off into places he knew his family would wholeheartedly disdain. His affection had been his own design. It had been his own simulation for ending up in a normal marriage, playing the role someday of a kind and doting husband to a woman whom he thought would never betray him, no matter how many faults he had. He considered this scenario to the point of ignoring almost everything else, without ever thinking that Tsugumi would not want to be with him.

It was painfully clear to Ryousuke that this simulation, like all the other ones he had created when it came to his personal relationships, was a complete failure.

He had to put it out of his mind, and concern himself now with the potentially dangerous game his young cousin was playing, a game that even Keisuke could see was bad. 'Why the hell didn't he tell me?' he thought, making a mental note to consider the answer to that question a bit later. He took a deep breath, accepted that there was to be no more waiting for her, and became the older cousin to whom Tsugumi was accustomed: the teacher, the friend, the confidant, and, Ryousuke painfully admitted, the brother.

"I'll take you home, Tsugumi, but not before I show you something."

Tsugumi looked at Ryousuke, trying to figure out his sudden turnaround from fury to concern. "Okay," she relented and relaxed slightly, hoping that Ryousuke would not remain angry with her forever. She loved him like the elder brother she never had, though he often drove her crazy the way he could chide her like a parent to a child. But this was Ryousuke. Even if she had made a grave mistake, he would know what to do. He would have the answer she needed. He always did.

As much as Tsugumi hated Keisuke for what he did, she realized that he was probably right. Ryousuke would have eventually found out. She knew that was true even before Keisuke said so, but, what teenager wouldn't want to postpone such inevitable punishment for as long as conceivably possible? Especially, now that she had seen a side of Ryouske she had never seen before, she hoped that she would never again do something to cause it to reappear. Tsugumi admitted that she knew he would react badly, but, for some reason, she chose to have a few boyfriends, not really keeping her modesty the way she ought to have. She chose to follow her friends into the anonymous virtual online world, visiting net-cafes and using her own laptop, a laptop she now ruefully recalled was a Christmas gift from Ryousuke himself. It was supposed to have been for studying.

"I'd like to show you just how 'anonymous' the internet is. Even though I'm not an expert, I have ways of using the computer to gain information when I need it."

"What do you mean?" Tsugumi asked softly.

"For example, not long ago, there were two guys roaming the streets, pretending to be Keisuke and someone else from my team."

"Really?" Tsugumi asked incredulously.

"Yes. As a matter of fact, they were causing some problems, using Keisuke's and Fujiwara's name to get dates and raise a stir wherever they went."

"Fujiwara-san?"

"Ah," Ryousuke recoiled. He had never mentioned Fujiwara by name to Tsugumi, nor had he discussed racing with her in much detail, at his Father's request. "No need to be bragging about committing crimes to your impressionable cousin, Ryousuke," the man had said when Ryousuke had first started his illegal pastime.

The last time Tsugumi heard anything about Fujiwara was way back when they were watching the video of his battle against Kenta in the rain taken by the camera they had mounted on Kenta's S14. Back then, Ryousuke had only referred to the teenager as "That Hachi-Roku Driver".

"Who's Fujiwara-san, Ryousuke?" she implored.

Ryousuke sighed, "Well, he drove for my team, just like Keisuke. Remember when we all watched that video of the black-and-white car? The imposters especially caused him some trouble." He smirked a little in spite of himself. 'Loaded question, Tsugumi,' he thought, wondering about his new future with Tsugumi suddenly absent from it.

"What kind of trouble?"

"Apparently, the guy pretending to be Fujiwara was...indecent with a young girl. A friend of hers found the real Fujiwara and showed up one day and slapped him for it."

"No way!"

Ryousuke nodded. "Our team has a website, but we don't post pictures of our drivers, just the racing information. And, toward the end of the project, we didn't even post too much about that, but other sites did. It made it rather easy for the imposters to track our movements based on the information they could find online, and assume their identities."

"What did you do?"

"That is what I want to show you, Tsugumi. Anyone with even a fair amount of knowledge can find information online. Once I had heard what happened, my friend and I set to work. We have a lot of personal contacts, but this laptop here was my biggest asset. Within a day, I had their real names, license plates, and home addresses. Armed with that information, and with a few friends to be on the lookout for them when they arrived somewhere, we settled things. Do you see what I'm getting at?"

"Not really."

Ryousuke sighed. "All right. Look closely. Here's your profile, where you mention you're female and fifteen years old. Do you see that number?" Tsugumi nodded. Ryousuke went through several screens Tsugumi didn't understand. Suddenly, the homepage for her High School was on the screen. Ryousuke clicked back to another window, and, Tsugumi was astonished to see her real name.

"In about a minute, I was able to trace your online profile to your real name. From there, I could get your address. From there, I could determine which school you attended. And finally," he demonstrated, clicking back to the school's page, "I can get your picture." He clicked on a link for the yearbook from the previous school year, and typed in Tsugumi's name. Her picture appeared instantly on the screen.

Tsugumi was wide-eyed with shock.

"So you see, it's really not anonymous at all, Tsugumi. In two minutes, I could find out who you really are just by a little know-how and a few tricks."

"But you already know me. You knew where to look," she protested weakly, sensing defeat was near.

"If you don't believe me, let's check out 'EvosRKewl'-san, shall we?" he said dryly.

Tsugumi's face flushed. She watched Ryousuke's fingers nimbly dance upon the keyboard. As he typed he said, "I have a feeling that this person is not really another teenager, but, perhaps someone a fair bit older than you."

"Why? He said he was 18, and a Third Year in High School. He said he just got his license, and bought a car."

"Let's just see about that."

Tsugumi was mesmerized as Ryousuke went to screen after screen, finally settling on a screen for automotive licenses. "As I thought," Rousuke commented softly with a frown. "Look at your 'high school Third Year.'"

"No...impossible," Tsugumi breathed, and Ryousuke could sense some fear in her demeanor.

"I'm afraid it's more than possible. This is reality. His name is Watanabe Shun. He's almost 30 years old."

"Wha..?"

"Do you understand now?"

Tsugumi nodded.

"Well, he was truthful about one thing at least. Looks like he does have an Evo registered in his name," Ryousuke continued. He read over the address, and bookmarked the page displaying the man's license. 'And, if he races in that Evo,' he thought, 'his home course would be...'

"Ryousuke, I'm so sorry!" Tsugumi blurted out, rising out of her chair and wrapping her arms around her cousin. "Forgive me!" she cried. Part of him wanted to console her, part of him wanted to slap her. He did neither.

"It's not my forgiveness you need. You should think about what Aunt and Uncle would say if they found out what you've been doing, both on the computer...and otherwise," he said quietly.

He could feel her nodding into his shoulder. "What should I do, Ryousuke?" came her muffled question. "Are you going to tell them?"

Ryousuke considered. "No," he said plainly. "And I'll tell Keisuke to do the same."

Tsugumi released her hold on him, and met his gaze with a grateful look in her eyes. "Thank you," she eked out.

"But, only on a couple of conditions," Ryosuke added.

"Okay."

"You will close all of these accounts now, do it on my computer here. You won't re-open them. I will _check._ If you do re-open them, you'll force me to tell Aunt and Uncle. And, promise me one other thing."

"What?"

"If you have a boyfriend," he said quietly, "at school, I mean, just be careful, okay?"

Tsugumi nodded. She sat back down, and closed her accounts. Suddenly, she looked up with the fear in her eyes again.

"Ryousuke?"

"What is it?"

"Do you think that guy really knew who I was the whole time?"

"It's possible."

She thought for a few seconds. "I-I'm kind of scared. If I suddenly stop chatting with him...what if he comes looking for me?"

"I'll handle that after I drive you home."

"How?"

"I have a plan."

"Huh?"

"I just told you I had a number of personal contacts, didn't I?"

She nodded, not understanding him at all.

"Then just leave it to me. You won't need to worry about this person."

"Thank you, Ryousuke. I'm sorry, and...I love you."

Ryousuke was startled for a second, but tried not to let it show. It was obvious she loved him. He was like a brother to her. To him, she had been an ideal; now, she was just a cousin, not an element in the simulation of his future bliss. That simulation had to be completely changed.

"Let's get going, then."

They gathered up their belongings, and left in the FC. They drove in silence down the familiar roads leading to the home of his Uncle, and Ryousuke watched as she entered the house without turning back.

He adjusted his sunglasses a bit, and took off. As he drove, he picked up his cell phone and scrolled through the long list of contacts while he slowed for a traffic light. Finding the necessary one, he dialed as the light turned green.

"Hello?"

"Kyouichi. It's Ryousuke."

"Ryousuke? This is out of the blue, isn't it?" asked the somewhat startled leader of Team Emperor, a squad made up only of Mitsubishi Lancer Evolutions. Ryousuke and Kyouichi couldn't totally be called friends, but, they had a minimal mutual respect as drivers and theorists that constantly teetered on the edge of annoyance on both sides. When Team Emperor had made it their mission to dominate all the teams in the Gunma area, they were only stopped by two people: Fujiwara Takumi, by besting Team Emperor's #2 driver, and Ryousuke, who had beaten Sudou Kyouichi himself twice in two years. Kyouichi was also the opponent that handed Fujiwara his only technical loss, the night when an impromptu battle against the man caused the young hachi-roku driver to completely blow his engine. Though neither Kyouchi nor the Takahashi brothers considered it to be a real loss, Fujiwara did. It was only after the car had been revived and a rematch completed with the driver of the Evo III did Fujiwara agree officially to join Project D.

"I'm sorry, but, I have a favor to ask of you. It's personal. Can we meet? I'm currently driving toward Tochigi from Gunma."

"Uh, I guess. What's going on?"

"I need to know if you know someone."

"Who? Planning on doing more recruiting?"

"No, nothing like that," Ryousuke replied with a slight chuckle. "I said it was personal."

"Okay, well, there's a Family's Restaurant about mid way between where I am and Gunma, at the big rest area interchange. Do you know the one?"

"I do. I should be there in about a half hour."

"You're in a hurry."

"You could say it's important."

"I'll meet you there."

"Thank you, Kyouichi."

"Later."

Ryousuke closed the call, and dialed Keisuke's number next.

"Yo. Aniki? Where are you?"

"I'm running an errand. I'll be back later."

"Okay, uh, how's Tsugumi?" Keisuke asked quietly.

"We'll talk."

"Okay."

He tossed the phone down, and placed both hands on the wheel, easily passing the traffic, keeping an eagle eye out for any patrolling traffic officers. Seeing none, he floored it all the way toward Tochigi.


	6. Chapter 6

Family's Restaurant. Thursday, 12:57 PM.

The white FC pulled into the large rest area at the highway interchange, and Ryousuke drove into the parking lot of the Family's Restaurant, scanning the parking aisles for the familiar black Evo III driven by Sudou Kyouichi. Sensing that he was the first of the pair to arrive, he parked the FC in a mostly empty row and exited his car, laptop in hand. He leaned on the car and looked to the parking entrance, awaiting Kyouichi's arrival, thankful he had his sunglasses and a only a light sport coat on over his polo shirt. It was a very hot August afternoon.

Moments later, the Evo III turned into the parking lot, and Ryousuke could see that Kyouichi had spotted him. He pulled into the space next to the FC and alighted from his car.

"Thank you for coming, Kyouichi. I hope I didn't tear you away from something important," Ryousuke greeted, squinting slightly as he removed his glasses to address the leader of Team Emperor.

"Nah, I was just on my way to get some lunch with Seiji, but I cancelled after you called."

"Ah," Ryousuke replied, thankful that Kyouichi had the brains to leave his more hot-headed teammate behind. "I appreciate your coming alone. I'll treat you to lunch while we talk."

"All right. Let's go in. It's hot as hell out here today."

Ryousuke nodded, and the not-quite-friends walked into the restaurant, and were seated within moments. After their waitress had taken their order and brought their drinks, the two men began their conversation.

"So what's so important that the White Comet of Akagi is flooring it to Tochigi in the middle of the day?"

Ryousuke chuckled a little and pocketed his Ray-Bans and took off his sport coat. He reached for his laptop. "There's a person I want to know if you're acquainted with."

"Who is it?"

Ryousuke opened the laptop, and proceeded to retrieve the picture of Watanabe Shun's license. He turned the laptop around so that Kyouichi could see. "This person."

"Watanabe. Yeah, I know him," Kyouichi confirmed with a curious expression on his face.

"Excellent. Kyouichi, I'd like to know everything you know about this person."

Kyouichi raised his eyebrows. "Why?"

"Just tell me what, if anything, you know and I'll explain."

Kyouichi sighed. Their waitress returned and Ryousuke turned the laptop away from her view. When she left again, Kyouichi began. "Well, he's a driver up at Irohazaka, and he moved here from Tokyo a couple of years ago. He's been vying for a spot on Emperor, but there haven't been any vacancies. But, one has come up recently, and I've been looking at him to fill the spot. It's second string, but he has potential. His Evo III is pretty sharp."

"I see. So he races," Ryousuke said, more as a declaration than a question. A few silent seconds passed between them, as Ryousuke studied the image of the man displayed on his laptop. Kyouichi tried to ascertain his purpose as they both sipped their drinks.

"Well, yeah. He's not bad actually-" Kyouichi interrupted himself, realization plain on his face, "wait a minute, Ryousuke!"

"Hmm?"

They paused as the waitress set down their lunch. "Thank you," Ryousuke politely said to the young waitress who bowed slightly, a pink hue dancing across her cheeks. Kyouichi shook his head. 'Charisma. Maybe it's not a fraud after all,' he thought to himself, remembering how he had tried in battle, and subsequently failed, to expose Ryousuke's mystique as a complete farce.

Kyouichi studied the slender man whom he always thought looked more like a pretty boy than the relentless street racer he actually was. He looked more like something out of a Shoujo manga than an intense competitor of the togue, not that Sudou Kyouichi ever read Shoujo manga; he just had a kid sister. When their waitress retreated once again, he continued.

"Ryousuke, you can't possibly be thinking of challenging this guy?"

"I'm considering it."

Kyouichi didn't bother to hide his confused expression. "Ryousuke, this guy is not in the same league as your two boys," he said, referring to the Double Aces of Project D. "Why are you wasting time with someone like him?"

"This is not related to Project D, or any other venture, Kyouichi. I told you, it's personal."

"You don't mean... _you're_ planning on challenging him? _Yourself_?" a very shocked Kyouichi asked.

"Tell me what else you know about him, please," Ryousuke calmly requested as he sipped his coffee and picked at his salad with the fork in his other hand.

Kyouichi realized he wasn't going to get anything out of the elder Takahashi without giving him what he wanted to know first. Between bites of his own lunch, he went ahead with what he knew about Watanabe Shun. "Okay. Well, like I said, he's been trying to get on our team. Showing a lot of promise. He's pretty quick on the downhill, and he tunes his car well. He's a single guy, works in town for a printing company. He's into computers and graphics, always carries a laptop with him, like you do."

"And you said he has potential. How good is he, really?" Ryousuke inquired, wincing slightly that he would have a similar predisposition to have a computer at the ready, as did this man who had been Tsugumi's perverted online chat buddy.

"You're serious, aren't you?" Kyouichi said.

"Very," the White Comet said flatly. Kyouichi sat back. The expression on Ryousuke's face, even as the man delicately ate and sipped, told Kyouichi that he definitely had some kind of score to settle with Watanabe Shun.

"I'd say he'd be near the top of my second string. His exit on high speed corners is good, and chooses good places to attack opponents. He's not a wasteful driver. That's why I've been watching him." He paused and let his companion absorb the information before he continued. "What do you have against this guy, Ryousuke? He's not someone I would immediately think would interest you for his driving. He's not bad, but, he's not your brother, or the hachi-roku kid. He's not even close to you, hell, he's not even close to _me_."

"I just want to make him nervous, I don't really care who comes up on the winning end."

Kyouichi laughed aloud. "That's a lie if I ever heard one. You plan to demolish him, and you know it."

"Hmm."

"You _will_ demolish him, Ryousuke. Don't waste your time. Surely you're too busy to be getting the FC out for a battle that won't even be a challenge."

"Frankly, Kyouichi, you're correct," Ryousuke agreed, setting down his fork, lacing his fingers together, and resting his chin upon them. "I am too busy for this. But, I'm not making this challenge for the race itself."

"Then, why do it?"

Ryousuke paused, gripped his coffee cup, and reclined in his seat in their booth.

"Well, I've recently become aware that this Watanabe Shun has become interested...romantically with someone very close to me," he explained, taking another sip of not-strong-enough coffee.

"Oh? Now I'm really surprised. All I ever see is that guy with his nose in the computer. Didn't think he was dating anyone at all," Kyouichi explained. "Who is it?"

"My cousin," Ryousuke said simply.

"Oh, come on. Are you sure about that?" Kyouichi asked incredulously.

"Positive."

"I'm sure if he was dating the cousin of the White Comet, he would have said something about it. If he was connected to you in any way, that would obviously get my attention as the leader of Emperor. Why wouldn't he drop your name?"

"Probably because he doesn't know that the person he's interested in is my cousin. I don't talk with her about racing too much, and she apparently knows enough not to talk about it to others."

"But, surely it would have come up from his side on dates or something?" Kyouichi implored.

"They've not yet met."

"Huh?"

"Their...relationship is online. On the computer."

"Like pen pals?"

"Something like that. However, I have a big problem with it."

"So you want to race the guy to see if he gets your approval to date your cousin or something?"

Kyouichi could see that Ryousuke's expression darkened. 'Damn,' he thought, 'he looks friggin' scary right now. Pretty boy, my ass!'

"That man," Ryousuke seethed, his voice barely above a whisper, "shall never gain my approval for that."

Kyouichi recoiled. Damn, this guy was pissed.

"I don't get it, Ryousuke. What did he do?"

"He's about 30, isn't he Kyouichi?"

"Yeah, close to it."

"My cousin that he's interested in meeting...she's fifteen. Still in high school, in fact."

"What?" Kyouichi was starting to see where this was going.

"I want there to be a zero percent chance that he will seek out my cousin in person. Do you get my meaning, Kyouichi? I don't think I need to explain further, do I?"

Kyouichi furrowed his brow. "No. I think I get it. So he likes little girls, eh? "

"Apparently so," Ryousuke said, inwardly cringing a little because of his own affection for her. But, that was to be no more. He had always been decent about it, hadn't he? He shook off the feeling and continued to discuss the business at hand.

"What do you want me to do, Ryousuke?"

"Arrange a race for him, tell him that if he wants that spot on your team, he has to defeat an opponent of your choosing on your home course. Do not publicize the battle, just make sure your whole team is there. I plan to make it abundantly clear that I will find out if he even so much as breathes in the direction of my cousin."

Kyouichi smirked a little. "If I didn't know better, this sounds more like a situation where your hot-headed little brother might be more useful. I know enough about Keisuke's 'good old days' to know that he could teach this guy a lesson he'd never forget."

Ryousuke's lips curved into a half smile. "I prefer to settle things with a form of...mental intimidation. Even Keisuke has reigned it in for the most part these days."

"No doubt you had a hand in that. Your little brother had quite a rep back in the day."

"I'm well aware," the elder Takahashi affirmed dryly.

"I bet," Kyouichi agreed. "Okay, so, anything else?" he asked, waiting for Ryousuke to continue.

"After I win, I ask that you not allow this person to drive for you. Your team is good. Don't let there be a bad apple in the bunch. You've got enough to handle with that Iwaki Seiji as it is."

Kyouichi grimaced a little. "Yeah, that guy's got a big mouth and ego to match, but he's not a bad guy. A guy like Watanabe, however, will not drive for me. You have my assurance...I have a kid sister, you know," he added.

Ryousuke raised a brow. "No, I didn't know."

"Well, like you with your cousin, I don't bring my sis into the racing business."

"Then you understand."

Kyouichi nodded. "I'll arrange it. When do you want to do it?"

"The sooner the better. I've instructed my cousin to stop chatting online with anyone, and I'm afraid he may seek her out. I was hoping you could arrange it for Saturday night, if possible. We're no longer going on expeditions since the project is over, so I'm basically free for the next couple of weeks."

"Ah," Kyouichi said. "Are you really done? The drivers must be a little fatigued after Sidewinder, so I'm sure they're enjoying the R&R."

Ryousuke chuckled. "Are you kidding? Keisuke is about to drive himself over a cliff with boredom. The fact is, I have several important exams these next few weeks. I have to make sure I perform well. I may have one small trip planned, but it will be more of a debut for them and not an actual race. In the meantime, I need to focus on getting high marks on my exams and helping Keisuke and Fujiwara with their contract negotiations."

"Oh, so they both got offers then?"

"They did," Ryousuke affirmed.

Kyouichi sighed. "I don't know how you do it, Ryousuke. As much as I hate to admit it, you're in a class by yourself. You drive me crazy, you know?"

"Likewise, Kyouichi," Ryousuke replied with friendly sarcasm which caused the Emperor leader to also laugh lightly. "So, you'll help me out, then?"

"Leave it to me."

"Excellent. I'll be in touch," he finished, picking up the check for their lunch and rising to leave.

"I'll call you when it's set up."

"I appreciate it. Thank you."

"It's nothing. Thanks for lunch."

"Sure."

With that, Ryousuke took his leave, and Kyouichi got out his phone.

'You're in deep shit now, Watanabe,' he said to himself as he dialed the number of his now former prospect. 'That Ryousuke…he's more scary than most people realize..'

Ryousuke got back into the FC, cranked up the air conditioning and drove away. He wanted just to drive for a while, to settle his mind, and re-construct the broken simulation of his future happiness. As much as he tried to remove himself from affections, his mind kept returning to the only other person that had captivated him completely, even more so than Tsugumi or Kaori, despite the love he had felt for both of them. He had no doubt, however, that this simulation would also somehow manage to crash and burn just like all the others before.

A baby blue Porsche whizzed by him, the driver beeping his horn.

"You picked the wrong time, buddy. I'm in a bad mood," Ryousuke said aloud. He looked around for motorcycle officers, noting that he was approaching a well-known speed trap. Seeing none, he quickened his pace.

'Perhaps simply letting it go would be best', he mused, as he closed in with the FC on the offending import. 'No one else would get hurt, at least,' he said to himself as he put the pedal to the floor and easily overtook the speedy Porsche, who immediately gave chase.

Ryousuke was mindful of traffic, but he deftly placed distance between himself and the Porsche, thankful that, for an afternoon, the road was not terribly crowded. Up ahead, he spotted a traffic officer parked just inside an overpass. He lifted his foot, just in time to be only a few kph over the speed limit as he came within what he supposed was the range of the officer's hand-held radar. The Porsche was gaining on him fast, but Ryousuke knew he had at least escaped a ticket. The Porsche driver seemed blissfully unaware that he was approaching the famous speed trap.

"That's a nice piece of German engineering you have there," he said aloud to no one as he glanced in the rear view mirror at the Porsche rapidly approaching behind him. A second later, he could see the lights of the traffic officer signaling for the driver of the Porsche to pull over.

He chuckled. "Too bad for you."

The White Comet took off for parts unknown.

* * *

Esso Gasoline Stand, S-Town, Gunma Prefecture. Thursday, 2:35 PM.

A tired Takumi pulled the Impreza into the gasoline stand, parked, and was greeted enthusiastically by his best friend Itsuki.

"Oi! Takumi!"

"Hi, Itsuki," Takumi deadpanned, stifling a yawn as he stepped out of the Impreza.

"Well, well, if it isn't the downhill Ace of Project D in our midst!" greeted Iketani as he finished with his customer and began to approach their favorite local celebrity, with Kenji close at his heels.

"Hi, Iketani-senpai, Kenji-senpai," Takumi said, all together uncomfortable with their constant references to his membership in Project D. Takumi, for his part, hadn't always felt like an ace, far from it. He just wanted to learn and improve and win.

 _For him._

"So, Takumi, you done with work for today?" asked Itsuki, thankfully stopping Takumi's mind from wandering to a place he definitely didn't want it to go in front of them. He'd endured their teasing before, and wasn't in the mood for it now, especially with the fact that he'd just gotten a text message from Takahashi Keisuke to meet him at the gas stand for some unknown purpose. That feeling that something was being planned around him crept once again into his mind, which he quickly dismissed. After all, it wasn't totally unheard of that Keisuke would seek him out; he'd done it before. Technically, they were friends, and _reluctantly,_ he knew he enjoyed Keisuke's energy and company. Usually, though, Keisuke timed it so that he would intercept Takumi on his tofu run, but, for some reason, "3ish" in the afternoon was a better fit for his rival today.

"Yeah, I had a short shift."

"Cool! I splurged and put some better shocks and struts on the hachi-go. I can't wait to test it out on Akina tonight! You'll come, won't you Takumi?"

"Sure," Takumi relented. Itsuki had been his friend since junior high, and the person who had truly helped to kindle the flame of Takumi's interest in racing. Itsuki had his own car, an 8-5, which, he sadly bought because he mistakenly thought it was an 8-6 Levin, and not the much inferior 8-5 version. But, even though his blunder was tough for him to take at first, Itsuki loved his car, and he practiced with it almost daily. His skills were improving, and he was modifying his car as his skills increased. Itsuki thought of Takumi as a rival, but he was realistic about it. He knew Takumi was on a whole different level. So, he happily drove his hachi-go, and, as far as the Project D Ace could tell, he was loving every minute of it. Takumi was thankful that the friendly team that was the Akina Speed Stars was supportive of him and his best friend. They always had been.

"So, how's things now that you're done with Project D, Takumi? When are you signing a contract?" asked Kenji, the team's number two driver and number one information gatherer.

"Well, officially we are done, but Ryousuke-san will be reviewing what's come in and we might be doing something else too, but he didn't really say what. But, he has exams for medical school, though, so we won't be doing anything for at least couple of weeks. He wants to study the contracts and hasn't even told Keisuke-san and me who the teams are yet," Takumi explained, demanding his cheeks to remain cool as he mentioned Ryousuke's name. At least, if he did blush, it was hot enough outside to be explained away but the heat of a late summer afternoon.

"Ah," contributed Iketani. "Honestly, that Takahashi Ryousuke is something else. But, as you know, he'll always be the White Comet of Akagi to me, no matter if he ends up being the top brain surgeon in Japan or something."

Iketani, being of a similar age as Ryousuke, had known of him since before the Red Suns, when the elder Takahashi raced alone as the White Comet. Takumi thought that he detected a certain sadness in his senpai whenever he was reminded that Ryousuke was in school to become a doctor, and not a professional driver. But, Iketani was simply a true lover of the sport, and just about anyone who knew anything about racing the togue in Gunma knew of Takahashi Ryousuke.

"Yeah, Ryousuke-san is always busy," Takumi said weakly.

"What kind of medicine is he studying, anyway, Takumi?" asked Kenji, always looking for a scoop.

"Uh, I have no idea," Takumi replied, embarrassed that he knew so little, outside of Project D, about the man he admired.

"Well, I'm sure whatever he does, it'll turn to gold," Iketani affirmed, seeing that Takumi was already heading down the path to what he and Kenji and Itsuki referred to as the "Ryousuke Meltdown" when Takumi wasn't around. "I'm sure he'll do great on his exams."

"Yeah, I'm sure," the downhiller agreed quietly.

 _I don't know a damn thing about him. Idiot._

"So, Takumi, you still have nothing better to do than come by here?" Kenji teased good-naturedly, getting a subtle cue by way of a glance from Iketani that talking any more about the Project D leader might not be warranted at the moment.

Kenji and Iketani had often wondered just what it was about Takahashi Ryousuke that caused their quiet friend to react the way he always did, but they had always been discreet about their conclusions, not letting Itsuki in on what they thought might be going on. To be fair, it had all been speculation anyway, and Takumi had girlfriends, and was always kind of hushed about his personal life. They respected that, but, it didn't mean that they were immune to wondering from time to time if Takumi saw the charismatic Ryousuke as something more than just a mentor, or, at least, maybe he had a little crush on him. Usually, they had a chuckle over it, dismissed it, and left it at that.

"Like you have room to talk, Kenji!" shouted Iketani, as he pulled his old friend into a mock headlock and Itsuki laughed gleefully. Takumi chuckled at the familiar sight as well, feeling relaxed around his companions. It was a time-honored joke among them that Kenji had absolutely no life whatsoever, and was always hanging around Iketani at the gas stand. Takumi wondered if the man even worked, or just what he did.

"Ow!" groaned Kenji. "Why do you always do that, Iketani? If you didn't work here, you'd probably be alone in your room pining away for you-know-who!"

Iketani's happy expression faded briefly at the reference to his dear Mako-chan, who had slipped through his fingers, not once, but twice, seemingly to sentence Iketani to the "Lonely Driver's Club" for the forseable future.

"Low blow, Kenji-senpai!" Itsuki proclaimed with a frown, and a ready shoulder for any tears that might escape Iketani's eyes.

"Ah, he's over it, aren't ya, buddy?"

Iketani recovered himself. "Yeah, it's okay. So, Takumi," he quickly changed the subject, demonstrating to his good friends that he really wasn't "over it" at all, but signaling he didn't want to talk about that "taboo" person anymore. "What else is going on lately?"

"Well, actually, I got a text from Keisuke-san to meet him here. He should be here pretty soon," Takumi replied.

"Oh?!" Itsuki shouted. "Takahashi Keisuke is coming here?! Cool! What for?"

Iketani and Kenji drew closer, their interest obviously piqued that both of the aces of Project D would be appearing at the gas stand this afternoon. The anticipation of Takumi's answer was evident in their excited expressions. Takumi, of course, could always be counted on to put the kybosh on their exuberance.

"I have no idea," Takumi deadpanned.

"What?!" his three friends exclaimed in unison, in a practiced ritual of exasperation at Takumi's lack of excitement.

"I'm serious. He just texted me to see if I could meet him here. That's all."

"Hmm," Iketani pondered. "Maybe you're having a meeting or something."

Takumi shrugged. Instinctively, he knew it wasn't that, because Fumihiro usually made those types of arrangements, and he usually just called. Besides, there weren't to be any more battle meetings; the only thing he recalled was Ryousuke mentioning something about a regroup. But then, he had been kind of buzzed with Keisuke at the barbecue, so he wasn't sure if he remembered hearing what Ryousuke said at all because Keisuke was all up in his face about some final battle between the Aces that wasn't going to happen because Takumi no longer had a car, and he still had those fuzzy memories of maybe insinuating that using the Imp would make it too easy, and those other vague recollecitons of Keisuke being a little pissy about that. Takumi honestly had no idea what Keisuke could want. But, as he heard the sound of a powerful rotary engine coming down the block, he figured he'd get his answer soon enough.

"Here he comes," Takumi offered. The friends looked toward the entrance of the gasoline stand as the flashy yellow FD pulled in and stopped at the pump. Iketani rushed over.

"Hello, Takahashi-san, welcome," Iketani greeted.

"Hey. High octane, please. Go ahead and fill it," said the younger Takahashi brother as he stepped out of the FD and rose to a full stand. Keisuke was taller than most people, and Takumi often wondered how the man could be comfortable enough in the sports car to drive in the incredible way he did.

"Right. High octane going in," Iketani confirmed and set to filling the tank, wishing instead that Itsuki had come over so that he could hear the conversation between the uphill and downhill aces of Ryousuke's Project D.

"Yo. Fujiwara," Keisuke waved as he put on a smile he hoped didn't appear too forced, and approached his rival, friend, and hopeful Social Experiment with a fist bump that the younger man reciprocated. 'Time to work my magic,' he thought, taking out a fresh cigarette and lighting it once he was a good distance away from the gasoline pumps. Normally, he would have been just as happy to exclude Fujiwara from a night of merriment, but, since he couldn't help but think Aniki would show up if Fujiwara was going, he had made it his mission to make sure the younger driver attended. He might be kicking and screaming, but, damn it all, he would show, Keisuke vowed, and, if that's what it took to get Aniki to take a much deserved break, then he'd suck it up and hang out with the weirdo. They were friends now anyway, weren't they? Sure. That works.

"Hi, Keisuke-san. What's going on?"

"Oh, not much. Just wanted to talk to you about something, but I'll wait til your friend...uh...Ike- uh..Ike-..." Keisuke stammered as he raised his free hand to the back of his head, as if trying to physically pull the correct name out of his brain.

"Iketani-senpai," Takumi contributed, rescuing his friend and rival from embarrassment as he failed to remember the name of the leader of the Akina Speed Stars.

'Phew,' Keisuke inwardly sighed in relief, nodding as he took a drag from his cigarette, 'I guess I should thank you for that, Fujiwara.' He could never remember the names of Fujiwara's pals. "Yeah, Iketani. I'll wait for him to finish with the FD."

Takumi immediately felt his body adopt a defensive posture.

 _What the hell is Keisuke-san up to?_

He wondered this as he saw Iketani approach, and Keisuke uncharacteristically re-introduced himself to both Kenji and Itsuki in a manner that was a tad over-friendly to Takumi's perceptions.

 _Something's up. Something I'm probably not going to like._

When Iketani rejoined the group, Keisuke put his cigarette into his mouth and pulled out his wallet, handing Iketani his credit card. "Here, put it on this, and then, I'd like to talk to you guys for a minute." Iketani disappeared for a moment, then returned to find Kenji and Itsuki having small talk with Keisuke as Takumi looked on somewhat suspiciously. Iketani smiled a bit, thinking how far the Speed Stars had come, even just to be having a friendly chat with one of the Takahashi brothers at all. 'All because of you, you spaced-out monster of a driver!' he thought as he looked at Takumi.

"Here you are, Takahashi-san, just sign here," Iketani said, handing Keisuke his receipt, which Keisuke signed the kanji for his name rather sloppily as he tried to simultaneously sign, take a drag of his cigarette, and stuff his credit card back into his pocket all in one motion.

"Thanks, Iketani. And, Takahashi-san is my old man. I'm just Keisuke, you know. We're all friends, aren't we?" Keisuke offered congenially. Takumi raised his eyebrows, a feeling of dread coming over him.

 _Shit. Something's going on and I'm definitely not liking it. Friends? With Keisuke-san? The Speed Stars?!_

Takumi stole a glance at Itsuki, and grumped silently to himself.

 _Yeah, he's eating this up, all right. Friends with Keisuke-san. I'm going to hear all about that shit tonight on Akina, I'm sure._

"So, Fujiwara," Keisuke said, causing Takumi to immediately give him his attention. "You know, I've been just bored to death since we're not going anywhere now, and I thought, Hey! Let's get some friends together and have a little night out on the town!"

 _The hell?!_

"Huh? Me? Didn't we already have a picnic at the park to celebrate everything?" Takumi muttered, and Keisuke could see the look of absolute terror in his eyes. 'This is not going to be easy,' he thought. 'Hopefully the friend factor will work.'

"Well, all of you, actually," Keisuke hurriedly added, taking another drag from his cigarette. "I wouldn't come here and not invite your Speed Stars friends, I mean, I'm sure we all like to get together and have a guys night out from time to time, don't we? They didn't get to go to the disbandment thing, right? And, you just have to bring yourselves, the rest is on me."

"Uh, Keisuke-san, I don't think-" Takumi began, but it was too late. The snowball called Takeuchi Itsuki started to gather momentum.

"Cool, Keisuke-san! That's really awesome of you!" he exclaimed, causing Keisuke to step back a bit.

 _Shut up, Itsuki!_

'Wow, this guy's full on,' Keisuke thought, 'this is Fujiwara's best bud, isn't it? Holy shit.'

"Well, yeah, a pal of mine owns a nice lounge-style club in Maebashi," Keisuke continued, trying to take Fujiwara's friend down a couple of notches. "And I decided the guys from the project all need another party, so we're going to have a nice night out tomorrow night. Oh, and, don't worry about not being of age, it's a private party. No sweat on that front," he said with a motion of his hand simulating drinking. "Got a car service for the occasion and everything," he added, hoping his voice made the car service sound like a good idea and not the vile thing he truly thought it was.

 _You decided? Isn't Ryousuke-san in charge?_

Takumi frowned with dismay. Sometimes Keisuke had a way of exuding authority which Takumi was not convinced he actually had.

 _This is not good. Does Ryousuke-san know about this? Would he approve? Shit. What do I do? I definitely don't want to piss off Keisuke-san, but, I really don't want to go out to a club. Why would he even invite me anyway? Are we really...friends? Shit._

"Keisuke-san, I think it sounds like a good time," Iketani began, seeing the alternating expressions of spacing out and of terror cross Takumi's face at the prospect of taking part in the nightlife. In fact, none of the Speed Stars could really say they took part in those kinds of activities, especially Takumi, who hadn't ever been an official member. They couldn't even get him to go to karaoke, just the four of them. There was no way Takumi would agree to go and party at a nightclub with the reputed Takahashi "wild-child".

"But, I think, we should see whether or not it's okay with Takumi," Iketani continued as he successfully contained Itsuki with a sideways glance. "After all, he's the one who was part of Project D, and we're just his friends. We shouldn't get too excited if he has other plans and can't make it, _right_ Itsuki?" he warned trying to clamp down Itsuki's overkill of happiness.

"Well, I guess," said a dejected Itsuki, who then began to stare daggers at Takumi, begging, _pleading_ , with him to agree. Takumi tried his best not to notice, staring off into space.

"Yeah," Kenji piped up, "I wouldn't feel right going out if Takumi's not free. He probably has a date with Mika-chan since it's a Friday and all, don't you Takumi?"

"Uh..." Takumi stammered, not expecting Mika to come up in the conversation.

 _Damn it, Kenji-senpai! I didn't want Keisuke-san to know for sure about that! He might tell Ryousuke-san. It might not be okay with him while we're dealing with the contracts. Damn it!_

Keisuke shot Takumi a surprised look. "Mika-chan? Who's that, Fujiwara?"

"Uh, well, I-"

 _Damn! What do I say?!_

"She's Takumi's..." Itsuki raised his pinky finger which Takumi promptly stifled with his own hand, furious at his friend, and not bothering to hide it.

"Itsuki!" he scolded. Itsuki shrunk back a bit. 'Uh-oh, I think I've done it,' Itsuki mourned to himself. He was going to get decked later, of that he was sure. But, it didn't matter. This was a once-in-a-lifetime chance to hang out with Takahashi Keisuke, something he could brag to his future grandchildren about, for goodness' sake! He was about to retort when Keisuke beat him to it.

"Oh- _ho_ , Fujiwara! You've been holding out on me! So you really did have a girlfriend all this time," Keisuke said. 'Holy shit! He really has a friggin' girlfriend?! I kind of suspected but…The _hell?_!' Keisuke thought wildly.

"I-it's not like that, Keisuke-san," Takumi stammered, waving his hands in front of him.

"Then who's Mika-chan?" Keisuke demanded seriously. After all, he hadn't allowed himself even a decent lay in almost two years. He wasn't happy that Fujiwara was balancing a job, D, and some chick too, while he had been as chaste as a monk for all this time. It just wasn't fair. 'Is he becoming Ryousuke junior or something?'

"S-she's just a friend. She plays golf," Takumi responded weakly, looking to his senpai for any assistance they might provide.

 _Get me out of this, Iketani-senpai! NOW!_

"Well, Keisuke-san," Iketani hurriedly contributed, coming to Takumi's much needed rescue, "she's the person who indirectly let us know about the imposters."

"Oh, really?" Keisuke asked, now, unwillingly yet genuinely interested in this "golfer chick Mika-chan".

"Yes," Iketani affirmed. "She and Takumi have kept in touch since then."

Itsuki had managed to stay quiet, seeing the warning in Takumi's eyes.

"Well, shit. You have plans then, Fujiwara?" Keisuke asked, hoping his own master plan wasn't crumbling, wishing he had begged Ryousuke to plan things for him, not that Ryousuke would have been willing to plan something like this anyway. He couldn't help but stare Takumi down a bit. A little old fashioned intimidation wouldn't hurt; it had always helped him out of sticky situations in the past. He knew all too well that Takumi was not a chump, but, in this situation, he looked about as tough as a six year old girl.

 _Crap._

"Well, uh,-" Takumi began, trying desperately to come up with something the younger Takahashi brother would believe.

"Don't fib, Takumi!" Itsuki commented loudly, not wanting to let a chance to hang out with the "Super Cool" Project D guys slip away from him that easily, no matter what beating he might get from his best friend later. "You told me she already left for a golf tournament!"

 _I'm gonna kill you, Itsuki!_

Takumi shot Itsuki another death glare, and Kenji and Iketani raised their hands to their heads. They realized they probably wouldn't be able to get Takumi out of this.

"Aw, that's too bad, Fujiwara," Keisuke continued, rejuvenated. "But, this is sort of a guys night out type thing, so, she probably wouldn't want to come anyway. But, since she's out of town, that leaves you without an excuse, right?"

Takumi glared at Itsuki once more for good measure, then scanned the resigned looks of his senpai before quietly responding to Keisuke.

"I guess not," he said, defeated.

"Great!" Keisuke exclaimed. "Don't worry, Fujiwara, I won't let you do anything stupid."

Takumi scowled slightly.

 _How magnanimous of you. Wait. What? "How magnanimous of you"? Where the hell did I pick up that word? Oh. I think I heard Ryousuke-san say that to Keisuke-san once. Shit. Do I really have to do this?_

"Yo! Fujiwara!" Keisuke snapped, trying to get Takumi's attention once again. "You listening?"

"Uh, sorry, Keisuke-san..."

"I was just saying that I'll send the car service here to the gas stand around 9:30. All of you better be there. We're going to have a blast."

 _I'm sure._

"Keisuke-san," Iketani implored, glancing somewhat sheepishly in apology to Takumi, "There's really no need for a car service, we really couldn't afford that kind of thing. We can take our own cars." Iketani's thought was that they could just show up for a short while then take off so Takumi wouldn't suffer too much.

"No way. My treat."

"Oh," Iketani said, his good idea crushed by Keisuke's own forceful personality. 'Sorry, Takumi,' he silently said to his younger friend. "Well, that's very kind of you, Keisuke-san," he said politely to the blonde.

"Cool!" Itsuki shouted, then immediately wilted in the face of another stern look from Takumi.

 _I'm gonna make you pay. Maybe not today, but someday. I'll run your damn hachi-go off the damn road!_

"We're taking a car service too, that is, me and the guys from D's crew," Keisuke continued. Sometimes he forgot that not everyone had money to spend on crap like car services. "Oh, and Fujiwara, Wataru from Saitama is coming. I know you're friendly with him," Keisuke said as a way to hopefully ensure Takumi's presence.

"Oh, well, that's good," Takumi said dejectedly. Honestly, he wouldn't mind catching up with Wataru again, but, still, he thought that he was in way over his head by going along with Keisuke. Unless...

"Um..." Takumi tentatively began, to the surprise of his friends, "will Ryousuke-san be there?"

 _What the hell did I just say?!_

Keisuke shot him a look that said, 'What's it to ya?' But, he instead replied, "Maybe. He said he might be. So, you're coming right?"

"I guess."

Keisuke smiled. Mission accomplished. Let the games begin. "Great. I'm sure Aniki will be happy to hear it," he added just to close the deal.

 _So Ryousuke-san does know about it. What the hell is going on here?_

The Speed Stars and Fujiwara all nodded and said their goodbyes. As Keisuke returned to the FD, he looked back and saw that Fujiwara looked like he was about to murder his buddy, but Keisuke thought that, even if there was one casualty, the end result would be worth it. For some reason, it seemed that Ryousuke and Fujiwara had a mutual curiosity about each other. He understood why Fujiwara would; Aniki was, well, _Aniki._ For the reverse, he honestly had no idea what his brother saw in this weirdo other than his driving, but oh well. He had done what he set out to do, and, as predicted, Takumi's friends gave him the perfect opening. At first, it seemed like his senpai were trying desperately to give him an "out" but, leave it to his noisy best friend to push a lot harder. 'Thanks, crazy guy!' Keisuke thought. This would be an interesting night, of that, he was sure. He was also sure that Fujiwara would be absolutely miserable, and that would make for some good entertainment. Maybe he would try and shove a few drinks on him after all, just to help him loosen up, of course.

And, even though he realized Ryousuke would probably still be royally pissed with him about the whole Tsugumi thing, Keisuke made a mental note to tell his Aniki that Fujiwara had agreed...well, had been forced, to attend. Aniki always tried to veil his interest, but, Keisuke was onto him. Whatever it was about Fujiwara, he was sure his brother wouldn't pass up the chance to see what he was like when he was supposed to be having fun.

Keisuke still couldn't comprehend the fact that Fujiwara had some kind of girlfriend, or, at least, a girl he was talking to. As he drove the FD around for a while, having a few more errands to run, he wondered how any girl would have the patience to be with a weirdo like him. 'Well,' he supposed, 'if she's always out of town playing golf and he was always out of town with D, they probably don't spend a ton of time together.' He chuckled, thinking that anyone would go crazy if they spent a lot of time with Fujiwara. He certainly had his moments when he felt himself getting close. 'He's just...a freak!' Keisuke affirmed to himself as the FD made quick work of the distance between the gasoline stand and the Project D garage.

The thought that Fujiwara had a social life annoyed him, though. He wondered for a second if he should take Fumihiro's advice and give Kyouko a call sometime after all. 'Nah,' he said to himself. 'I need any kind of an upper hand against him that I can get. If he's all doe-eyed over a girl, I'll pummel him for sure in the pros!'

Satisfied for the moment, he pulled the FD into the garage, and hooked it up to the dyno as his mechanic Tomiguchi approached him with a wave. Keisuke had to kill a ton of time today, he knew, because he was sure he was going to get an earful from Ryousuke about their cousin as soon as he got home.


	7. Chapter 7

Takahashi Residence. Thursday, 9:00 PM.

Ryousuke was standing outside on the balcony of his bedroom, aimlessly tapping a nearly empty pack of cigarettes. He took one out, and reached into his pocket for the lighter that had been taken out of its retirement from inside a desk drawer for the first time in a very long while. He lit the cigarette, and took a long drag, frowning that it seemed to be as stale as the first one he had smoked a couple of hours before. He closed his eyes, and continued his thoughts, enjoying the nicotine buzz more than he thought he should.

The afternoon had been spent driving, studying, and driving some more, until he finally ended up back at home, with no clearer solution to his broken simulation readily apparent. He had come to a few decisions, but whether or not he would act on them, remained to be seen. One of them, a smoke outside, had already been acted upon; he took another drag. 'I've missed these terrible things,' he thought, studying the cigarette like he would his racing data or his clinical reports. His musings were interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone. He reached into his pocket to retrieve the device, and answered it.

"This is Ryousuke."

"Ryousuke? Kyouichi here."

"Ah."

"Everything's set up for this Saturday at 10 here at Irohazaka."

"Perfect. I appreciate it, Kyouichi. I trust you didn't let him know who his opponent was going to be?"

"Nope. He's clueless. He thinks he's getting his spot on the team. He was very confident."

"Good. It will make it a little fun for me, maybe."

"Heh. Yeah, sure. Well, I'll be expecting you then," Kyouichi said.

"I'll be there. Remember, don't make a big deal out of it. Just your team and myself. I'm not even going to let anyone know on my end here, either."

"Well, they'll probably find out through the grapevine, though. We can't control people who just randomly show up, just in case they could catch a battle. If even one person mentions that they happened to see your FC on Irohazaka, you can bet someone will find out in Gunma."

"I'll handle that if it happens. Honestly, I don't think it will be any big deal. Project D's drivers are the ones people from Gunma are interested in now, not me."

"Hah. Don't be too sure of that, Ryousuke!" Kyouichi retorted. "You're still the White Comet of Akagi to a whole hell of a lot of people, and you always will be, no matter how great your kid brother and that tofu boy get."

"Hmm. Well, that's beside the point. I'm not doing this to battle. I'm doing it to protect my cousin. Call it a 'family matter' if you like."

"Whatever, Ryousuke. You're absolutely infuriating, you know."

"I know."

"But, honestly, I'm glad I could help. I don't want a guy like that on my team. As you said, I've got my hands full with the people I already have. So, there's no need for us to have any ill-feelings between my team and your Project D. What you did with those guys...you should be proud of it. You're excellent at molding young racers, Ryousuke."

"It's their talent, Kyouichi. I just pitched in from time to time."

"Is that what you're calling it? And here I thought you were one cocky son-of-a-bitch behind that gentlemanly appearance of yours."

Ryousuke chuckled. "Of course, I saw their potential to prove my theory."

He heard Kyouichi grunt in disapproval. "Well, now, that's a relief. There's that smug know-it-all I know and love. Still going on about your precious ideology."

"Kyouichi, as much as I really appreciate you helping me out with this, I'll be more than happy to lay my theory upon you in sickening detail for your consumption. I'll even treat you to lunch again for it, if you like."

"Heh!" the Emperor captain chortled. "Then you better bring that no-limit credit card of yours, because I'll be ordering a mountain of humble pie for you to eat when I laugh your theory right out of the restaurant!"

"I'm looking forward to it. It will be soon, too. Project D has accomplished what it was designed to do."

"Oh? You're really not going to keep going? Maybe scout some new talent?"

"I can't be as involved now; I'm not saying it will be zero, but it won't be much for a while. That's that."

"Ah. Well, as much as I hate to say it, it's a shame. You really run a professional outfit there, Ryousuke," Kyouichi said sincerely, hearing a definite sadness in the voice of the elder Takahashi.

"But, all things have to come to an end, and that includes Project D. Keisuke and Fujiwara will be fine on their own, and I'm sure even you'll admit that we'll see some astonishing things from those two in the future."

"Yeah, we probably will. Okay. I'll see you Saturday."

"See you then."

He closed the call, and pocketed his phone. He could hear the sound of Keisuke's FD approaching.

'I guess he's decided it's safe to return,' Ryousuke thought to himself. He was still pissed, and he'd make sure Keisuke knew it. But, he was more pissed at himself . 'Why the hell can't you get it together, Takahashi?' he asked himself. He took out another cigarette. 'Chain smoking is a beautiful solution,' the sarcastic thought a predictable addendum to a really shitty day overall.

The FD pulled into the garage, and Ryousuke wondered if Keisuke would avoid him once he entered the house. He didn't think so. Sure enough, a few moments later, a knock could be heard at his bedroom door. "Aniki? Are you in there?"

"I'm here, Keisuke," the elder called from outside. He heard his door open.

Keisuke saw that the sliding door to Ryousuke's balcony was open, the light-weight curtains of his room gently swaying in the breeze of a much cooler evening than the day had been. He drew in a breath, and stepped outside to discover his Aniki standing by the railing, smoking.

"Aniki?"

"It's safe to approach, Keisuke. I won't kill you. Not with Mother in the house, anyway."

Keisuke chuckled nervously. 'Yeah, he's still pissed. Shit.'

He took a position next to Ryousuke and watched his brother smoke. "So, when did you start doing that again?" Keisuke asked, nodding vaguely to the cigarette his brother held in his right hand.

The elder looked at his watch. "About two hours ago. I figured I'd indulge, for a change, in one of the pleasures that I've been denying myself for the last half-year or so."

"Oh?" Keisuke asked, the understanding of Ryousuke's meaning elusive to him. He figured that was by design. 'Bastard'.

"Yeah. And, sorry, but I found this in the pocket of your winter coat. I took it," Ryousuke said, tapping his finger on the pack of cigarettes resting on the railing of the balcony under his lighter. "Judging by how stale they are," he continued, "they've probably been in there since last winter too."

Keisuke chuckled again. "Yeah. Probably."

They stood there, neither one wanting to be the first to broach the subject of Tsugumi, though Keisuke knew he should just get it over with, suck it up, and deal with the fact that Ryousuke would be a total bastard to live with for a while. Instead, he took out his own cigarettes. "Want a fresh one?" he asked. Ryousuke probably would think of it as a peace offering of some kind, and Keisuke supposed that it was.

Ryousuke looked at his brother, snuffed out the offending stale cigarette and helped himself from the pack the younger held up. "Thanks."

"Sure," he said, picking up his brother's lighter and lighting the cigarette for him, and one for himself.

Keisuke watched with some kind of weird fascination as the elder smoked. He would have sworn that he'd never see him do it again, after he had quit, saying it wouldn't look professional for the leader of Project D to be puffing away while directing the team. He never said anything about it being bad for a future doctor to smoke, but, their Father smoked, so Keisuke supposed that the doctor thing was somehow less important to Ryousuke than his position as the leader of Project D.

It seemed backward to Keisuke, but then, things that made sense to Ryousuke were often left for him to just muddle through with a minimal grasp of their concepts.

"I'm really pissed at how you did what you did this morning, Keisuke," Ryousuke offered, getting to the point he assumed his brother was trying to delay.

"I know. I'm sorry, Aniki."

"Really. Talking about making sure you wear a condom. Nice touch. Nice image you gave me, Otouto."

"Sorry," Keisuke winced both at his poor choice of words from earlier in the day, and that Ryousuke had called him "otouto" to his face. He hardly ever did anymore. Having Ryousuke call him by his name made Keisuke feel accepted by the elder. Hearing the word "otouto" meant that Ryousuke was telling him in his subtle way that he definitely did _not_ take any amusement from the crass comment to Tsugumi. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"You weren't."

"Yeah."

Keisuke wanted to make a hasty retreat, but, he needed to hear Ryousuke out. He had a right to be angry with him. Suck it up.

Ryousuke took another drag of the cigarette.

"I wanted to tell you, Aniki. Not the way it happened, but I did want to tell you. I did think you should know. It drove me crazy to think she was playing you, lying to you, or something. She begged me not to."

"Since when do you do anything she says?"

"I don't know. Maybe because I knew you'd react the way you did. That you'd be disappointed in her. I know how _that_ feels; it sucks."

Ryousuke quietly considered Keisuke's statement. He supposed it made sense from his brother's point of view, and he had seen Tsugumi's reaction for himself. He accepted the answer.

"Is that all?" Ryousuke asked.

"Maybe not," Keisuke admitted.

"Tell me." It was not a request.

"Well, Aniki, I know you think she's, ...I know she makes you happy, and I like seeing you happy. Relaxed. You never just relax anymore, unless Tsugumi is around the house. Part of me didn't want that to go away, even though I can't stand the little shi- uh..brat."

Ryousuke chuckled, but, somehow, the weight of the mood didn't lift. "You want to know something?"

"I have a feeling you're going to tell me anyway, so sure."

Ryousuke paused, as if he were debating as to whether or not he was going to continue. After a couple of leisurely drags on his cigarette, he did.

"I was planning to marry that girl someday."

"Eh?!" Keisuke almost shouted in disbelief. "Did I friggin' hear you right, Aniki?!"

Ryousuke took another drag, and smirked. "Yeah, you 'friggin' did."

"What?! I don't get that! Are you saying you loved her or something?!"

Ryousuke sighed. "Let's just say that I could have. Would have, in time. After she grew up a little."

"Guess that's out, then," Keisuke whispered, still in shock at his brother's pronouncement. He had no idea. Who _was_ this person standing here telling him this crazy shit?

"It would seem."

Ryousuke continued to smoke, and Keisuke tried to process this information as best he could. He wanted some kind of explanation, anything, that he had taken happy pills, sleeping pills, anything to justify to him why Ryousuke would say something like that.

"Why, Aniki?"

His brother shrugged slightly. "You could say that she fit well into a simulation I had created for my own happiness." He almost snorted to himself. "That sounds very cold and detached, now that I say it aloud, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. It does," Keisuke had to agree. Keisuke had known that, of the two of them, he was the more emotional one, but he never thought that Aniki would approach a relationship like some kind of scientific problem that required a logical solution, one that seemed completely devoid of feeling. Though, he admitted to himself, he never really knew much about any of Ryousuke's personal relationships, how many he had, or how long they lasted. Nothing. In fact, he couldn't remember Ryousuke ever bringing anyone home, at least not since his first year of college or so. It was as if it was totally separate from everything else in his life that he could balance with ease.

It almost sounded like his Aniki was trying to tell him something much deeper than his intention to marry their cousin, though Keisuke couldn't imagine anything that could have been more of a bombshell than that.

"Even though I'm pissed off, I really should be thanking you, Keisuke."

"Huh?" Now the younger was completely confused. "What the hell are you talking about, Aniki? You're not making any sense to me at all," he almost whined in frustration.

"I think I've told you that it's good to have someone around that can shine the glaring light of day onto your weaknesses. That's what Fujiwara has been for you, to a point, right?"

Keisuke furrowed his brow. 'How the _hell_ did we get around to _him_?' he thought.

"I guess," Keisuke said, becoming pissed off himself. His blood was starting to heat up to a simmer. If his brother kept on lecturing about his dumb idea to marry Tsugumi, and now even talking about Fujiwara who had nothing to do with it, Keisuke was sure it would come to a boil, and quickly.

"Well, you've done that for me today."

"I only told you what I thought you needed to know, and, now I'm going to tell you that you have shitty taste in girls! If that's your weakness, then wow, it really sucks to be you. If that's your big earth shattering problem, then I can tell you, Aniki, you're way better off than a hell of a lot of people, so just get a damn grip! You're going to be a doctor for god's sake. Just find yourself a hot nurse and leave it at that!"

"Because _that_ arrangement has worked out _so_ wonderfully for our parents, right?" Ryousuke retorted sarcastically.

Keisuke recoiled a bit. Their mother had been a nurse. Their parents' relationship, if one could even call it that anymore, was, indeed, not a great example.

"Well, you just need to get out, then. Just go get laid and get this crazy talk about Tsugumi out of your damn head!"

"You really think it's as simple as all that? Tell me Keisuke, why do you think I don't get involved with people?"

"You're too busy, and maybe you've been crushing on your goddamn cousin too long!"

Ryousuke sighed. "I had my reasons. I was...am, fond of her. But, that future no longer exists. Maybe, someday, you'll figure out why I thought Tsugumi was the safest choice."

"Safest?" Keisuke repeated.

Ryousuke said nothing more.

"Aniki, just tell me plainly!" Keisuke let his exasperation out. "I hate it when you get like this! You know I can't possibly figure out what's in your head! Especially after telling me this...this _shit_!" he asserted boldly.

Ryousuke put out his cigarette. He didn't want things to escalate, but he was in no mood to restrain himself if Keisuke wasn't going to either. They hadn't had it out like this in...how long? "Okay. You want _blunt,_ Keisuke?!" Ryousuke raised his voice, throwing his usual calm over the balcony, and retreating back into his room, with his brother close at his heels. Keisuke slammed the sliding door behind him, causing Ryousuke to glare at him disapprovingly.

"Yeah, I do! For _once in your god-damn life! Just tell me exactly what you mean!_ "

"If I did the things I wanted to do, I'd probably get fucking disowned. No matter who it has been in the past, or who I think about now...when it comes to my personal life, I'm a _fucking failure, and I see myself turning into Father! Happy now?!"_ Ryousuke shouted.

Keisuke could feel his mouth hang slightly open. It was rare for Ryousuke to curse, or to shout. He almost never spoke that way unless he was angry or tired or both. 'A failure? He's worried he's turning into the old man? What the hell?' Keisuke was at a complete loss. "Aniki, I'm-"

"Is that not _clear_ enough for you, Keisuke?!" There was a steely look to his brother's eyes that said he was totally frustrated and angry, and Keisuke realized he was angry at himself more than anyone else.

"How the _hell_ is that clear?! You could have anyone you fucking want at any time!"

"No, Keisuke, I _can't_ have anyone I _want_!"

"You are fucking Takahashi Ryousuke, damn it! You can do god-damn _anything_!"

The brothers stared at each other for a moment, the elder trying to calm himself, and the younger balling a fist, ready to punch a wall. Ryousuke looked over at the door to the outside world for a moment, and Keisuke wanted to strangle him.

"Just fucking forget it, Keisuke. Just forget it." Ryousuke quietly said after a lengthy silence. "Keep your false image of me like I kept my image of Tsugumi, if that's how you want it. I'll do my best to live up to it. I do it all the time for Father."

Keisuke felt tears forming in his eyes, for a reason he didn't understand. "Shit! Why can't I ever fucking _understand_ you?! Maybe you think you have to be the way you are because of the old man, but you don't have anything to live up to for me!"

"Yes, I do, Keisuke," Ryousuke said, his voice now eerily calm. "I am not perfect. I'm far from it. I'm always harder on you than anyone else, and everyone tells me so. You overestimate me constantly. Yet, even when I tell you flat out that I'm completely inept at something, you refuse to believe it. Even now, you're looking for some kind of explanation. Maybe he's sleep deprived, maybe he's taken some stimulants, or something. Anything to explain away the blunt truth that there's a part of my life that's a complete mess, and that my solution for that problem is now gone."

Keisuke was stunned. Hadn't he just wondered if his brother had taken some pills? How the hell did Ryousuke always know exactly what he was thinking, and he himself was always at a complete loss?

"You may think that this problem isn't a big deal, that I ought to be ashamed to think I have it rough, just because my social life is crap," Ryousuke continued. "But, it's just not that simple, Keisuke."

"Why?" Keisuke asked quietly, trying to keep his voice from cracking.

"Because I have to grow up."

Keisuke studied his brother. Through the anger that was now fading somewhat from his eyes, there was that sadness Keisuke had been noticing. "Aniki, I don't get it. You're already grown."

"As long as I race, or am involved in racing, by our Father's standards, I'm still a child. Once D is over with your contract signed, I won't have the one thing that has kept me sane all these years. The one thing I could say in my life that I did completely for myself will be gone, so what does that leave me with?"

Ryousuke could see a hint of understanding wash over Keisuke's expression. "I think I'm starting to get it. Aside from Project D, you're just doing what everyone else expects you to do, and not what you want to do," Keisuke observed. "You don't really want to give it up, but you are going to anyway, aren't you?"

"Unless I can come up with some other plan, that is correct."

"But, Aniki," Keisuke continued, with a confused look on his face once more, "what the hell has that got to do with your shitty taste in girls?"

Ryousuke smirked a little. He didn't think he had "shitty taste", but oh well. Keisuke didn't need to know that his desires often tended to lean elsewhere. That would be too much for Keisuke to handle, judging by the reaction he had from Ryousuke's confession about Tsugumi. 'Not tonight,' he thought, 'but, someday, he'll probably figure it out.' He sighed, knowing that he wanted to tell Keisuke the full truth, but knowing also that his brother wasn't ready to hear _that._ Instead, he opted for an explanation he thought would make sense for his brother with the knowledge he had.

"I am the eldest. I'm expected to marry well, find some spoiled, well bred woman who probably has shit for brains, and produce spoiled, well bred children so that our Father's and Grandfather's legacy will continue. At least, if I married Tsugumi...I would at least know I cared for the person, and I wouldn't have to go through the hassle of being introduced to every single girl in our parents' social circle so I could hurry up and settle down."

"And she meets the criteria," Keisuke finished. "Especially the shit for brains part," he added, scowling.

Ryousuke chuckled in spite of himself. "She's obviously smarter than she lets on, now, isn't she? She managed to wrap me around her little finger and get _you_ , of all people, to keep your mouth shut. Maybe I should ask her sometime how she managed to do that."

Keisuke laughed, shaking his head. "Yeah, I still don't know myself." He finally felt that the air between them was growing less heavy. Even when Aniki was angry, it never lasted for long. His temper was hot and fast, just like his driving, but, when it was over, he was right back to the calm, annoying guy he always was.

"Are we done fighting?"

"I think so," the elder agreed. They should be above screaming matches. But, somehow, Ryousuke felt better.

"Aniki?"

"What?"

"Can I give _you_ a lecture for a minute?" Keisuke asked.

Ryousuke raised an eyebrow, but he had a half smile on his face. "Go for it."

"Do you remember when you showed up at that bar that time, not long before you took me for that suicide run in the FC?"

"Yeah, I do. You were drunk and about to get into a fight."

"Yeah. I saw you standing by the bar, glaring at me. And you were a complete buzz kill. I wanted to haul off and punch you for ruining my good mood," Keisuke said with a light laugh. "And, before I could make my way over to where you were to tell you to go fuck off and leave me to my business, you were already gone, and so was the guy I was about to teach my lesson to."

Ryousuke smirked.

"And then, right after that, you had the nerve to march your skinny, sport coat wearing ass into our hangout and bring me a box lunch, glaring at everyone, saying that, since I hadn't been home for days, that you thought I might be hungry. I was so pissed that you would just invade my personal space like that, in front of all my subordinates, no less! And, what pissed me off the most was that they looked like they were more afraid of you than they were of _me_!"

"Oh? I hadn't noticed," Ryousuke lied. Of course he had. He wanted everyone in that room to know that he was watching Keisuke, and by extension, all of them. He wanted those guys to know instinctively, that if anything happened to Keisuke, they would have to answer to him. He never really knew if his little stunt had worked, but, it seemed now that it had.

"Bullshit. As soon as you left, the guys were like, 'Who the hell was that? That dude was fucking scary! What gang does he belong to? Is he yakuza?' and stuff. Imagine their shock when I informed them that you were my nerdy-goody-two-shoes asshole of a brother."

"Heh." Now that was definitely amusing. He'd never been accused of being yakuza before. Asshole, yes. But yakuza? No. Definitely not.

"I feel like taking another one of your cigarettes, Keisuke," Ryousuke said, holding out his hand. Keisuke gave him the cigarette he wanted, and they both returned outside. Once they were settled, the younger continued.

"And then, one of them went to the window and saw your car. He was like, 'Your brother is Takahashi _Ryousuke_?' and I was like yeah, that's him, the prick. He almost punched me for not telling him I was related to the White Comet of Akagi, and going on and on about how he never realized I was part of _that_ Takahashi family, blah blah. And I got royally pissed off, saying that as far as I was concerned, I was _never_ part of that family. End of story, you talk about it again, I beat you senseless and take your bike."

"Hmm," Ryousuke said, listening intently as he smoked. Keisuke didn't really talk much about the "good old days" with him, probably figuring that Ryousuke would just automatically go into disapproval mode. Perhaps his opening up about Tsugumi had given Keisuke some kind of unspoken permission . Truthfully, Ryousuke had always been interested, but his concern for taking his brother out of that environment always came first in his simulation for turning Keisuke's life around.

"But, even though I was pissed, it got me thinking. Some gangster who normally wouldn't bat an eyelash if I ordered him to go beat someone somewhere was actually intimidated by _my_ Aniki. I think it was the first time in a long while that I thought of you as something other than just mom and dad's favorite son, someone I hated for being everything that I wasn't."

"So, what did you do, Keisuke?"

"Well, nothing, of course," he said with a laugh. "After I thought about it, I just got pissed again, got drunk and we went out and raised some hell on our bikes."

"I see." Though he realized his appearance at Keisuke's hangout hadn't worked out perfectly, the end result was standing next to him, a far cry from the person he had been.

"But when you took me for that drive, I saw for the first time what those guys must have seen. You scared the shit out of me. I never thought my nerdy Aniki could look like that, or drive like that."

"Do you have to keep calling me 'nerdy?'" Ryousuke asked dryly.

Keisuke laughed. "Well, you are, Aniki, face it. But anyway, I decided I shouldn't hate you. In fact, I decided I didn't care anymore that you were the favorite, didn't care what mom and dad thought, but, I realized, I definitely cared what you thought about me. That's why I quit. You were the only person who ever noticed me, and you could have easily ignored me just like mom and dad did."

"Keisuke, I've never thought our parents treated you fairly. Our parents aren't very good at letting us be who we want to be."

"Yeah, but you suck it up and do it, to the point where you're a wreck over it. I thought sometimes that maybe you didn't want to be a doctor. Now I think I _know_ you'd rather not do that, even though you're already amazing at it."

Ryousuke neither confirmed nor denied Keisuke's statement.

"So, what I want to say, Aniki, is maybe you just need to do something incredibly selfish, even if it's only once. If you think you're going to be miserable for the rest of your life, then the time is now to just say 'fuck it' and do whatever you want to do until you really start working as a doctor. That's your real time limit, isn't it?"

Ryousuke looked at his brother. "I suppose."

"Then, jeez Aniki! Lighten up and stop talking as if you're an old man already. You're not even 25! Have _fun_. If you're so sure that the end of your youth is near, then just fucking enjoy it, and stop dwelling on marriage arrangements and living up to Dad's expectations. And you are _not_ him!"

Ryousuke shot him a look that said he wasn't buying it. But, Keisuke persisted.

"There's nothing wrong with breaking the rules every once in awhile, you know. We do it every time we race, so you're no stranger to it. Think about how it feels to race. If there's someone in your life, someone you're afraid to allow yourself to have fun with, because the old man won't approve of her, so what? If you get that feeling around her, then it will be worth it, even if it only lasts a week, or even one night!"

Ryousuke was stunned. How could something so simple possibly be the answer? His face must have given away his shock.

"If I could manage to do that and concentrate on driving at the same time, I would. I can't. But _you_ can!"

"I think you could manage it, the way you are now, Keisuke."

Keisuke beamed; maybe he should take his own advice, he thought to himself, as the thought of Kyouko crossed his mind again. "Nah, not yet. Not til I beat _him_ ," he told his brother.

Ryousuke looked thoughtful. "Hmm."

"Heh. You've already got someone in mind, don't you, Aniki?"

Ryousuke continued to smoke, hoping Keisuke wouldn't jump to any conclusions. Besides, it's not as if things with _that_ person had a chance in hell of working out anyway. For all Ryousuke knew, it was his own one-sided delusion, just as it had been with Tsugumi, and Kaori, and one or two other names he could add to that list. However, Keisuke had a point. He could be discreet about it, like he had been at other times in the past. If he could get past the nagging thought of his parents' disapproval, which hung over him in everything he did in his life...

"Look, I don't need details," Keisuke interrupted his brother's thoughts, instinctively sensing that his brother was mentally over-complicating things again. "I don't care. Just be happy. After all you've done for me, that's all I want. As long as it isn't that little shit, of course."

Ryousuke laughed a little. "You really don't like her."

"She's not good enough for you," Keisuke said seriously.

Ryousuke thought about that statement. He didn't believe it, but he allowed it. They stood silently, finishing their cigarettes.

"So, are you going to take _my_ advice for once?"

"I'll consider it," Ryousuke said evenly.

That seemed to satisfy Keisuke immensely. After all, it wasn't every day that he got the chance to advise Ryousuke on anything. In fact, there had never been a conversation like this between them. Keisuke was hopeful his brother would relax a little. He still couldn't quite wrap his brain around the fact that his brother thought highly enough about Tsugumi that he'd consider making her his wife. Keisuke didn't think he'd ever fully understand that, but he felt he now had the gist of it.

Seizing the opportunity to have Ryousuke receptive to something he could come up with, Keisuke decided to remind his brother about his little get together scheduled for the next night. "Oh yeah, Aniki," he began.

"Hmm?"

"You can start your relaxing tomorrow night. It's all set up. You'll go, won't you? There will be tons of hot girls there. You can start your 'I don't give a shit' fun tomorrow! I won't even tell you to ride with us in your stupid 'car service'!"

"Like I would."

"Eh?!" Keisuke shouted, frowning. "Forget what I just said! You are still a first class _prick_!"

He stormed back into Ryousuke's room, pissed off that he would have to take the stupid car service, and his brother would be taking his own car. Just as he had the thought, he stopped in his tracks. "Oi," he called over his shoulder as Ryousuke was calmly entering his room from outside.

"What?" the elder was still chuckling at his victory over the hated car service.

"Does that mean you're coming?" Keisuke asked incredulously.

"I'm considering it."

"You better be there. As you like to say, 'it's _not_ a request'! " Keisuke affirmed, doing a very startling impression of his elder brother that definitely gave Ryousuke pause. Did he really sound like that? Maybe he was a "first class prick", he thought, somewhat ruefully.

"Ten o'clock. We're going to Toshiro's place. And, let me tell you, it was hell trying get _him_ to go along with it. Freak." Keisuke said as he made his exit.

Ryousuke stared at his door for a moment. He took a deep breath. 'Should I go?'

Suddenly the door opened again, and Keisuke reappeared. "Here, catch," he said as the threw an unopened carton of cigarettes to his brother which Ryousuke barely managed to catch.

"What's this for?" Ryousuke said, frowning. He really hadn't intended to start smoking again habitually. He suddenly felt as though Keisuke was becoming a bad influence on him; the irony of that was almost amusing. Almost.

"Hopefully so you can have a smoke after you get yourself laid tomorrow night," Keisuke said slamming the door behind him, and retreating fast down the hall to his room, not waiting for the predictable glare from his brother that he knew would be there.

'Don't hold your breath, Keisuke,' he thought. 'A whole carton? How much fun is he expecting me to have?'

As he put away the carton of cigarettes in a drawer, his mind began to travel to the place he didn't like for it to go.


	8. Chapter 8

Mt. Akina Summit, Thursday, 10:30 PM.

"Takumi! How could you even think of not going out to party with the team?! Especially if Keisuke-san is paying!" Itsuki screamed, smacking Takumi on the head, nearly causing his friend to spill the can of hot coffee in his grasp.

"Easy. I don't like that kind of thing," Takumi drawled, rubbing the back of his head, annoyance plain on his face.

"We tried to help you out, Takumi, but Itsuki pretty much ruined it," Iketani contributed, looking disapprovingly at Itsuki, who remained silent, if indignant, for a moment. "But, now that we're going, let's just try to have a good time."

"Senpai, I don't know. It seemed like Keisuke-san was a more friendly than he usually is around me. We are friends, I guess, but it was strange," Takumi replied.

"Well," said Kenji, "all we really have to do is make an appearance, and we don't have to stay. At least your guy Wataru will be there. We'll be there. It won't be so bad, will it?"

"I guess not," Takumi relented, still pissed that he had to go at all, even for a short while.

"And," Kenji continued, "I have to admit, it would be really interesting to see how the other half lives for one night."

"The 'other half'?" Takumi asked, confused.

"Yeah. Rich guys, Takumi. I think I have an idea about where we're going, and let me tell you, the cover charge alone would be like two days pay for your buddy Itsuki here," he said with a laugh, causing Itsuki to go wide-eyed in astonishment.

"That much?" Itsuki groaned.

"Yeah. When Keisuke-san said it was kind of a loungey place, I had a hunch as to which one it would be, and that place is fancy," Kenji continued some more, living up to his status as the information gathering specialist of the Speed Stars. "If we weren't friends with Takumi here, we wouldn't have a prayer of hanging out in a place like that. There are bound to be some really hot girls there, too," he added, nudging Iketani with his elbow.

"We're just going to stay for a little while, Kenji; Takumi doesn't like these kinds of things. It wouldn't be fair to make him stay, especially after Itsuki here basically gave him a no-way-out situation," replied Iketani. "Don't worry, Takumi. We won't stay long."

"All right," Takumi said, sipping his canned coffee. After all, it wasn't as though he disliked Keisuke, he just didn't quite see him as a friend at all times. They were teammates, rivals, thorns in each others' sides, but friends? Takumi didn't think so, really, outside of D. Of course, they had moments together, like when they would both alight from their cars, and they would simultaneously and instantly know who their opponents would be. They both shared the ability to tell just by sensing the aura of the drivers from the other side. Or, when they would pass each other on a practice run, they could each sense the other's incredible will to win; it was a connection they had shared on every expedition.

They had begun sharing a room together when they travelled; that started at Ryousuke's command, just so that they could rest in a cool spot before their tough battle against the racing legends, the God of Hand and God of Foot from the Purple Shadow. It wasn't unpleasant, from what Takumi could remember; they talked, and Takumi slept. On their recent trips to Kanagawa, they had shared a sleeping loft together, away from the rest of the team. While Takumi couldn't always say he was comfortable around the younger Takahashi, he respected him both as a driver, and as a person. And, he really was fun at times; his energy could be contagious.

But, this friendly night out...Takumi couldn't perish the thought that nothing good would come of it.

 _Unless, Ryousuke-san shows up. Then, at least I could handle Keisuke-san, if Ryousuke-san is there. No...no. I don't want Ryousuke-san to be there. No, I do...I mean..._

"Oi, Takumi!"

Takumi snapped back to reality. It was Kenji, he was tugging on Takumi's sleeve and waving his hand in front of his face.

"Uh, oh, sorry, Kenji-senpai," Takumi shakily answered, trying to will his cheeks to stay pale as he pushed away the thoughts of his mentor.

"You're so spacey. Anyway, I think I should tell you that you should probably try to dress up a little."

"Dress up?" Takumi queried with a frown. "Why?"

"Well, this can also go for you too, Iketani," Kenji teased his polo-shirt-and-jeans wearing pal.

"Hey! What's wrong with me?"

"Everything."

"Why you..." Iketani grabbed Kenji into a headlock again.

"Hey, hey! I'm serious!" Kenji protested, finally wrenching himself from Iketani's grasp. "This is a swanky place, guys; I'm talking dress codes, girls wearing fancy cocktail dresses, guys in slacks. If it's the place I think it is, we need to look like we actually belong there, even if we know we don't," he said with a laugh. "We're lucky that it's a private party, or else we regular guys wouldn't have a chance of even getting in. So, we have to at least look good. All of us," he added, pointing a finger at the group at large.

"Really?" Takumi asked incredulously. "Uh, I don't really have anything too nice. I think my school uniform was the fanciest thing I ever owned," he said with a frown.

"That's a problem, Takumi!" yelled Itsuki. "Even I have a few nice shirts and slacks. You better go shopping."

"Shopping," Takumi deadpanned. Shopping sucked. Takumi only shopped for food, or the occasional book or magazine, and even less often for clothes.

 _Shit. I don't want to spend my money on clothes._

"Takumi," Kenji asked, "what time do you get off work tomorrow?"

"Three."

"I'll come and get you, and we'll pick out something. I don't trust _these_ two at all," Kenji said nodding in the direction of Iketani and Itsuki.

"Hey!" they shouted in unison. "I have a damn suit, Kenji," asserted Iketani.

"Yeah, that you wear for funerals," Kenji chided, getting a frown from Iketani. "Well, all right all right, but," he turned to Takumi again, "what do you say?"

"Whatever you think is best, Kenji-senpai," Takumi replied quietly. Defeated. He was going to a club. With Keisuke-san. And he had to dress up. Perfect.

"Just look on the bright side, Takumi," Iketani added, "at least you'll have something real nice for the next time you have a date with Mika-chan. Heh. After Kenji gets through with you, you'll look as sharp as Takahashi Ryousuke!"

 _What the hell did he just say?_

"Hey, Takumi, you still with us?" Iketani asked. He stole a glance at Kenji for confirmation, but he really didn't have to. Takumi was already on his "Ryousuke Meltdown." The flushed cheeks. The faraway look, well, that was all the time, but still.

"Uh, yeah." His eyes narrowed a bit. "And that's _another_ thing, Itsuki," Takumi said sternly to his friend. "I really didn't want anyone from D knowing too much about Mika-chan."

"Why?" implored Itsuki.

 _Because I wouldn't want Ryousuke-san to disapprove of me._

"Why?" asked Itsuki again.

"Just...I don't know. Just because I didn't really want them to know, okay?"

"Sorry, Takumi."

"It's all right. D's over anyway, so, oh well."

 _D's over. I won't be seeing Ryousuke-san anymore. He's moving away. He'll forget me, I'm sure. Why do I keep thinking about him?! Why am I like this?_

"I'm going home," Takumi announced. "I'll see you after work, Senpai," he said to Kenji, resigning himself to the fate of buying new clothes to go to a place he didn't want to go. He got into the Imp and sped off for home, leaving his friends to stare after him.

* * *

Fujiwara Tofu Shop. Friday, 6:30 PM.

Takumi lay prone on his bed. He was staring at the clothes he had bought that afternoon with the help of Kenji. He had to admit, they were nice; Kenji actually had pretty good taste. But, they were expensive. If Keisuke-san wasn't picking up the tab for the evening, he wouldn't have been able to go at all after shelling out who-knows-how-much yen for the pale blue oxford shirt and navy pin-stripe pants.

 _Why am I doing this? Can I fake sick? No, Keisuke-san would get pissed. I don't want Keisuke-san pissed. He can be scary._

His cell phone beeped; it was a text from Mika. He read it, seeing that it was just a quick hello and he replied with something equally basic.

 _I wish Mika-chan was in town. She was easier to deal with than..._

Takumi shook his head, and raised his hands to his face. He managed to doze off for a short while before he looked at the clock. 8:15. He supposed that there was no postponing the inevitable.

He showered and got ready, donning the new clothes. He put on the pants, and then the shirt, leaving it un-tucked and the top two buttons undone. Kenji had advocated that he tuck his shirt in, but that was going way too far. He'd rather have just worn a T-shirt; at least he had one of his favorites on underneath. He threw his toothbrush and a change of clothes, his much preferred jeans, a t-shirt and his sneakers, into his old school backpack. Even as he hoped to just show up and leave, he had a feeling it would be a late night, and there was no way in hell he was going to get home much before his delivery run; the Shitty Old Man would probably be packing up the car right as he rolled up. He decided he'd change when they got back to the gas stand and go right from Itsuki's hachi-go to the Imp. He dug his school shoes out of his wardrobe so he could take them downstairs when he went.

Itsuki would be picking him up at 9 so they would be at the gasoline stand in plenty of time for the "car service". Takumi sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror. He supposed he looked okay.

 _Definitely not as sharp as Ryousuke-san. What the hell was Iketani-sempai thinking? No one could be like that. Whatever._

He still had a few minutes before Itsuki would arrive, so he went downstairs to have a drink of water, and to find out what the Shitty Old Man was up to. He hoped he wasn't planning on going out to a bar all night. Takumi didn't want to worry about him; he had enough to worry about with trying to survive a night out with Takahashi Keisuke.

The reluctant club-goer went into the kitchen and got his drink. He heard the rustling of the newspaper as his father pored over it in the same position he sat every evening. The smoke was in the air, and, it seemed that there was one fewer tokkuri of sake in the cupboard than there had been the night before.

He took a drink, rinsed his cup, and left it in the sink. It was still a bit early, so he sat down across from his father and leafed through a portion of the newspaper his father had already read and discarded on the table.

"Going somewhere?" his father asked without taking his eyes from the paper. The television news droned on in the background about some current happening in America, and then they switched to some lame human interest story about a new exhibit at the zoo.

"Yeah."

"Aren't we fancy."

"Whatever, Old Man."

"New clothes?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm."

They sat in silence. Neither of the Fujiwara men were great conversationalists, especially with each other. A page was turned. A commercial for shampoo aired on TV.

"Where are you going?"

"Some stupid fancy club. It was Keisuke-san's idea. His friend owns it, I guess."

"With the team?"

"Yeah, with the team," Takumi said, exasperated.

"I'm surprised you'd go."

"Me too. I didn't want to, but I kinda got stuck since he invited my friends too."

"You taking the car?"

"Itsuki's picking me up. We're taking a hired car."

"Oh?" Bunta asked, surprised.

"Yeah. Is that all, Inspector Fujiwara?" Takumi groaned sarcastically. Usually, his father barely grunted in his direction when he went out. He seemed to be unnaturally interested. For him.

"Yeah, I suppose," his father muttered.

"We won't be staying. I'll be back in plenty of time to do the stupid delivery."

"Don't worry about it," Bunta deadpanned.

"What?" Takumi asked, startled.

 _Did the old man just volunteer to do the delivery? On a Saturday? When I'm not even out of town?_

"You heard me."

"It's no big deal, Dad. I'll do it."

"Nah. Have fun. D's over, right?"

Takumi paused before opening his mouth to reply.

 _So that guy was paying attention after all when I said it would be a temporary team. Shitty Old Man, now I can't even say I have to be home early for the delivery. I'm screwed._

"Yeah," he finally answered the reader of the newspaper.

"Then keep celebrating what you did with that, and have fun. I'm not one to tell you not to drink too much, just don't be stupid about it. As long as you boys aren't driving."

"Whatever," Takumi replied. He could hear the sound of Itsuki's car pull up to the shop. "That's Itsuki. We'll probably be out late, so, if you're making the delivery, I'll probably just stay at Itsuki's. I'm going."

"See you tomorrow."

"Don't get too wasted, Dad. Later."

Bunta heard his son exit the shop and he heard the hachi-go Levin drive off.

'The boy cleans up pretty good. Guess that happens when you hang out with rich pretty boys from Takasaki. I wonder if he'll survive. That kid is socially retarded,' Bunta thought. He downed another ochoko of sake and put down the newspaper.

Bunta had only briefly met the elder of the Takahashi brothers in person, the team Leader, a few days after the hachi-roku was towed back. The kid showed up when Takumi wasn't around, all gussied up in a jacket and tie no less, and Bunta had wondered why he was there, at first, when Takumi wasn't. He quickly figured out that it was definitely intentional; Bunta couldn't say he didn't like the kid, especially after hearing about what he wanted to do about the car, and how desperately he wanted to give his son 'one final gift', as he had put it.

All he had asked for was time, and his permission. And, of course, not to breathe a word of it to his son.

How could Bunta have refused when the kid was bowing in front of him like a son way more dutiful than his own could sometimes be? Even though he thought it should have been Takumi's decision since he did own the car, Bunta couldn't bring himself to tell that person no. It was clear that, for some reason, Takumi had made an impression on the guy. He'd said yes, and the hachi-roku was whisked away the following day and Bunta had not seen it since. Takumi had barely reacted, which, wasn't entirely unexpected, but Bunta knew that his son's actions were often the exact opposite of what he was really feeling, so he also knew that Takumi had still not really gotten over the hachi-roku and was probably asking himself every day where the hell it went. He might be finally realizing that the old car was no longer "the standard", but that couldn't take away his attachment to it.

'Takumi, I hope you know how good this team, these people, have been for you,' he thought, satisfied that both brothers had been good to Takumi, more than good in fact. After all, it wasn't just anyone who could get his son to go out without a little bribery involved, so the younger Takahashi brother must have made a big impression on his son as well.

He knocked back another ochoko and put the sake away so he could get himself out of bed for the delivery the following morning.

* * *

Takahashi Residence, Friday, 9:15 PM.

Ryousuke had awakened from a nap, and was watching the video of the Irohazaka course on one of his computers. He had risen early in the morning, choosing to take a few runs down the course in the pre-dawn hours. He hadn't come across much traffic or other racers, and he was glad of it. The course was pretty much as he remembered it, and, though the tuning of the FC wasn't exact for it, he was satisfied that it would be enough for what he wanted to accomplish with his race the next night.

He looked at his watch and thought, 'Three...two...one...'

"Oi, Aniki. I'm coming in."

'Go. Right on schedule,' Ryousuke thought with a smirk as he turned to see a very well dressed Keisuke enter his room. "You heading out?"

"Yeah. Kenta just called from the meeting place. They just got picked up, and the friggin' car service is on the way here."

"You'll thank me for the car service in the morning, Keisuke, when you're nursing your hangover and your FD is safe and sound in the garage instead of in some police impound because you had to leave it."

"You still suck."

"I know."

Keisuke looked at what Ryousuke had been studying. He was surprised to see an old video of the Irohazaka course. "What did you drag that video out for?" he asked, nodding to the screen behind his brother.

Ryousuke inwardly cursed that he didn't close the laptop, but, he didn't need to explain anything. "Nothing much. Just checking something out," he answered noncommittally.

Keisuke chuckled. "You're not planning on pitting us against Sudou's team for some weird battle of ideologies, are you?"

"Of course not."

"Good. I hate those EVOs even more than I hate those big-ass GTRs."

"Hmm."

Ryousuke closed the laptop and sat back. "So are you going to ask me if I'm coming or not, Keisuke?"

"I was thinking about it. Are you?"

"Probably."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Keisuke smiled. "Well, now, this _is_ an occasion. I hope you do, Aniki. Even if you do suck and get to drive your own car, while your _dear otouto_ rots in the back of some big boring sedan, with Kenta falling all over himself to sit next to me."

Ryousuke laughed a little. "You'll live."

There was a light honking of a horn outside. The bane of Keisuke's existence had arrived.

"Hey."

"Hmm?"

"Any chance we can charge tonight's festivities to the Project D budget? I mean, it is a 'team gathering' and all, hell, I even invited Fujiwara."

"No way. You pay for it. I made sure I cleared your credit card."

"You really are a first class prick."

"That's me," Ryousuke said with a smile. He was so glad their argument had blown over. He didn't like raising his voice to Keisuke, but, he was truly thankful for his younger brother the night before. Keisuke, in his depth of emotion, managed to get through to him. He somehow managed to pass over the cold logic, and show him that it was okay to throw caution to the wind sometimes, to occasionally live life the way they drove their cars. Yes, Keisuke could be tiresome. He could be rude and loud, but, if Ryousuke had to have a younger brother, there was no one he'd rather have. He loved him dearly. "Be careful."

"I will. I'll see you later then, maybe."

"Okay."

With that, Keisuke turned to leave. Ryousuke quickly grabbed his cell phone and dialed his best friend, who, likely, was sitting in the car parked in front of the house.

"This is Fumihiro."

"Hi, old friend."

"Ryousuke!" Fumihiro Hiroshi greeted with a tone of surprise.

"Make sure he doesn't have _too_ much fun, Hiroshi."

"Got it. So you won't be joining us, I take it?"

"I haven't decided one way or the other. You'll see me, or you won't."

"All right, Ryousuke...eh... time to go. Keisuke's headed for the car."

"Okay. Later."

"Later."

Having accomplished that, Ryousuke debated seriously over whether or not to head out. On the one hand, it would probably make Keisuke feel good that he would take his advice and come out to relax. On the other, this was definitely more Keisuke's arena than it was his own. It would probably be too loud, too hot, and filled with too many stupid people for his taste. Even if Keisuke got his hands on the VIP lounge for the team, the music from the main area would still be pumped in, and, even the VIP area could still be very crowded with several private parties simultaneously going on.

But, _that_ person would be there.

Ryousuke had always been fascinated by Fujiwara Takumi. The chance to see him in a purely social situation, not remotely connected to a race, and not really even an "official" Project D gathering, was absolutely intriguing. And dangerous.

He had a battle tomorrow, too, even if the opponent wasn't any big deal.

He stared at the clock on his computer screen, and made his decision, Keisuke's passionate words lingering in his mind.

He would go. If it got to be too much, he would leave. He was driving his FC after all.


	9. Chapter 9

Club Lotus, Maebashi, Friday, 10:45 PM

Ryousuke parked the FC in the parking lot of the club owned by his brother's friend. As far as he was aware, the man he knew only as Toshiro had been an acquaintance from Keisuke's days in the gangs. But, like his brother, he had turned his life around, and had gone somewhat legit. He had opened the club at around the same time Keisuke had joined the Red Suns, and, judging by the long queue at the front entrance, it was a successful venture.

Ryousuke bypassed the front door, and went around the corner to the less public side entrance, the one reserved for friends of the owner and for private parties. Casting a quick glance back toward the parking lot, he thought he recognized an hachi-roku. Straining to see, he realized it was a Levin model, with Saitama tags. It appeared that Akiyama Wataru was there.

He reached the side entrance, pulled out his wallet, and checked to see if he had everything. Wallet. Phone. Lighter. Cigarettes. 'Well, this will be interesting,' he thought as he approached a very tough looking guy who stood by the door.

"Hi. ID, please."

Ryousuke handed the man his license which the bouncer looked over carefully with a small, handheld flashlight. He looked at the picture and back up again. "Ah. Takahashi-san. Go in. Your brother's group is in the VIP lounge on the right."

"Thank you," Ryousuke said as he replaced his license into his wallet. 'Keisuke's group, eh?' he thought with a half smile. He supposed, in this situation, Keisuke would definitely be in charge. That was more than acceptable.

As he walked in, the noise hit him like over steering into a brick wall. He didn't mind the music; upbeat, electronic tracks, that served to guarantee a high energy atmosphere. However, he could have done without the decibel level. He hoped that the VIP lounge would be slightly less of an assault on his senses. This was definitely Keisuke's realm, and Ryousuke couldn't help but to feel slightly out of place.

He entered the VIP lounge and scanned the room. It was only slightly less loud, but it was cool, and, for a club, it was comfortable enough. It took him about half a second to locate his brother, engaged in a lively conversation with some of the Speed Stars from Akina, as Kenta stood next to him in rapt attention at the yarn he was spinning between swigs of beer, straight from the bottle, and drags from his cigarette.

He looked around, trying to find Fujiwara Takumi. He didn't see him, and Ryousuke found that he was slightly disappointed. He sighed, and walked to the back bar to get a drink. 'Why not?' he thought.

"Can I help you?"

"Thank you. I'd like a vodka martini. Extra dirty, please," Ryousuke said, placing a few bills in the tip jar.

"Right away, sir," said a very young and attractive female bartender. "To what party do you belong?"

"Put it on Takahashi Keisuke's tab," he said with a smirk. This was Keisuke's grand event. Ryousuke took some pleasure in that Keisuke would be footing the bill for his drinks. He would take special delight showing his brother his credit card statement when it came next month; it would probably give Keisuke a stroke to drain his bank account that much to pay for it. The young bartender nodded, and set to preparing his drink.

A minute later, she handed him the familiar glass. He took a sip and nodded his approval before walking away, looking for a spot at the rear of the room. He found a table with an ashtray on it; he leaned against it, and took out a cigarette. Keisuke was still working his crowd, but, he didn't appear to be too drunk. Yet. It seemed that he was still just "happy drunk". Happy drunk was fine. Silly drunk was acceptable. Loud drunk was annoying, and pissed drunk was dangerous. But, Fumihiro was around, so hopefully, "loud drunk" would be as far as it would go.

He lit a cigarette, and continued to people-watch for a bit. Keisuke was alternately making the group cringe, then laugh. As he observed his brother, knowing that Keisuke wasn't aware of his presence, he could see shades of how their mother had been. The way she used to endear herself to people so effortlessly, that even the tightest of tight-wads would loosen their hold on their wallets, ostensibly to present a large donation to the hospital that was her husband's one true love in this life. That was how she had been, and how she still was, he supposed, on the weekends when their parents made the fundraising rounds.

He took another drink.

'If only she could see herself in Keisuke,' he thought. 'But, that's probably exactly the problem,' he realized. A song he liked came over the speakers, and some of the people began to dance. Ryousuke just listened, absently looking around for the one person he was most interested to see. Maybe he backed out at the last moment. If Fujiwara had decided ultimately not to attend, it wouldn't have really surprised him; he presumed that this was likely the last place he would ever appear. He chided himself slightly for thinking that just coming here to watch the young driver interact with people would be enough. How many mental second guesses did he go through even just to give the guy a congratulatory pat on the shoulder after a battle? How many times had he wondered foolishly if the constant pink hue on Fujiwara's cheeks when they spoke to each other was for some reason other than that the younger man looked up to him as a driver? After seeing Fujiwara palling around with Keisuke at the disbandment party, he was happy to see the quiet downhiller enjoying himself, but he was also a little envious that it had been Keisuke who had brought that out in him, with the help of a couple of beers, of course.

Ryousuke wondered why the hell he had to be so endearing at times, and totally fierce at others. It was the dichotomy of Fujiwara's being that always got to him. At times, he was almost child-like, and, alternatively, there were times when he was bold and fearless to the point where his actions would be considered to be either foolish, or just plain crazy. The bold Fujiwara came out in his constant evolution as a driver of the hachi-roku, but Ryousuke had always desired to see that side of him in a different situation. Maybe that was why he had wanted to see him tonight. Would he be the reserved, shy Fujiwara? Or would he come out of his shell, and allow that other personality to make an appearance?

It seemed to be a moot point; Fujiwara was nowhere to be seen at all. Ryousuke decided that he would finish his drink, say hello to the team and their friends, and make a quick exit before Keisuke could gather the momentum of the other guys to beg him to stay.

Then, he saw him, or, he thought he did.

He saw Wataru talking congenially with someone slightly shorter. The pair seemed to be getting along well, standing well away from the boisterous Keisuke, chatting as best they could over the volume of the music. Ryousuke moved to another table, and confirmed it. He did show up; will wonders never cease? Ryousuke was somehow happier that he at least could watch from afar for a while.

He observed Fujiwara and Wataru as they talked. He smiled a bit. 'I didn't think you wore anything like that,' he thought as he mentally approved of the stylish outfit Fujiwara had put on for the occasion. He wondered if Keisuke had thought to tell the guys from the Speed Stars that this place was rather upscale, but he doubted it. Likely, one of their number had figured out ahead of time where they were going, and taken it upon himself to tell his friends to come dressed to the nines. He was impressed.

'He's beautiful,' he thought, then immediately tried to bury the sentiment which he knew had been brought forth by honesty, coupled with the relaxation his drink and cigarettes were bringing him. 'And, just like he doesn't think he won battles because of his skills, he has no idea how gorgeous he is.'

In fact, everyone present looked worlds different than they did when he normally saw them, with the exception of Fumihiro, who always was well put together.

He tore his gaze away from Fujiwara and observed Keisuke and the team once more. The two mechanical chiefs Matsumoto and Tomiguchi were out of their jumpsuits, and Keisuke's chief Tomiguchi was barely recognizable without his trademark eyeglasses. It seemed that when his brother was determined to get everyone out and about, he meant absolutely everyone. 'You're going to love it when you get the bill for this, Keisuke,' he thought wryly.

He found himself gradually shifting his eyes back to where he had seen Fujiwara talking with Wataru. The two were still conversing, but it seemed like Wataru was about to leave. Keisuke made his way over, and Ryousuke could see that Fujiwara had an almost suspicious look on his face. That was probably wise. Wataru took his leave.

Now that Wataru had gone, Ryousuke took a long look at his two Aces as they talked. Those two had made his Dream a reality. They were officially the fastest on the street.

And, he realized, they were amazing people. Better people than he considered himself to be, knowing that his personality definitely didn't mesh well with everyone. Acquaintances, colleagues, and certainly the few lovers he'd had, definitely thought him to be a bit of an asshole more often than not, even if most of the time no one dared to say it directly. There were actually very few people Ryousuke allowed into his inner circle, and his two Aces occupied about 350 of the 360 degrees of that circle.

Both of them were astonishing; they had a way of pulling people into their world and never letting them go. He couldn't do that other than with his racing, and even that skill was calculated down to the last iota of detail before he ever got behind the wheel of his FC. He might have inherent talent, but as Keisuke was wont to point out, he was the only guy who practiced by computer instead of just winging it by the feel of the car alone. Even if Project D was never supposed to be permanent, even if the time Ryousuke had left in their world was terribly short, the fact that he had helped to nurture these two incredible racers was almost enough to make leaving the sport behind tolerable. Almost.

He was completely surpassed by them, and he knew it. He didn't want to lose them, and he knew that too.

He took another drink, and lit another cigarette.

The Double Aces of Project D, _his_ Aces: the two people in Ryousuke's life he felt it would be nearly impossible to live without. His brother would always be family. He'd be there, for sure, even when he went pro. However, Fujiwara had no real obligation to him at all; he could say goodbye and move on, and Ryousuke was quickly running out of things to give to him to keep him close. His place in Fujiwara's future was undetermined, at best, and that was what made it frightening.

He could just be _gone_ one day, and, so far, the only thing he could think of to do about it was to try and fix that damn Panda Trueno.

He hated to admit it, but there was a hint in the far reaches of his soul that the unknowns concerning his future without Fujiwara were starting to feel like Kaori all over again; that slightly vague perception of danger lurking just out of the range of his vision when he couldn't control things 100%. He had no control over her, even if he thought he'd been making progress with figuring her out, and look what happened with that. She took _gone_ to its ultimate level, and he had only recently been able to forgive her for it two years after the fact. He had no control over Fujiwara either, and still hadn't figured him out 100%, and now, time was clearly _up_ , no matter how many scant extra weeks he'd manage to rustle together before his Father would finally have no more of it.

He could not go through that type of loss again. He had to leave that downhiller behind in more ways than one if he knew what was good for him. This had to stop.

But why was it so damn hard to stop thinking about him? Looking at him? He could still separate feelings and just watch his career, couldn't he?

Things wouldn't happen again like that. They couldn't. Right? It wasn't like Kaori. It wasn't. There was no way that could happen; Ryousuke had not allowed himself to get that close again with anyone. 'Fujiwara was just interesting,' he thought to himself, trying to make an urgently needed course correction of the thought line. He was still within view, however, and the line was not corrected perfectly. 'Okay, he's _fascinating_. And, gorgeous. Let's not forget gorgeous.'

Damn.

He sighed to himself.

He finished the last vestiges of his cigarette, resolving to end the comparison of being absent from Fujiwara's future to the finality of Kaori's future-that-never-was.

He was supposed to be _relaxing_ , damn it. Sometimes he wondered what some parts of his life would be like if he could just stop _thinking_ so much. Right. Not possible.

He watched as Kenta approached his brother, dragging him back toward the main group, leaving Fujiwara by himself. 'Keisuke, that was rude,' he observed. The younger was probably heading toward "silly drunk" though, so it wasn't entirely unexpected. He'd forgive him, for now.

Thankfully, Fujiwara's friends from the Speed Stars came up to him immediately thereafter, and it seemed to Ryousuke that they were almost checking up on him. They probably knew that this was not really Fujiwara's cup of tea, just as Ryousuke knew that Fujiwara was likely dragged into this whole night out in the first place. That would have been thanks in large part to Keisuke, he had no doubt.

He was happy that Fujiwara had his own friends outside of Project D, and he was pretty thankful that the Speed Stars leader Iketani had been willing to let Ryousuke "borrow" their downhill ace. Ryousuke knew from Fujiwara himself that the young driver was never officially a part of the friendly Akina team, but, it seemed that the Speed Stars seniors had a lot of pride in their young hachi-roku driver. It was as if they knew that he was special, and had abilities that could take him well out into the world of professional racing, beyond the slopes of Akina, if given the opportunity to grow.

Ryousuke wondered if Fujiwara had gotten as much out of Project D as he did seeing the young driver's constant evolution. He supposed that he had; at least, he hoped the younger driver had.

Eventually, Ryousuke saw Fujiwara shove off his friends, as if telling them to go and have a good time. He wondered if the poor guy had to get up to make his daily tofu delivery. Part of him also wondered if he had gotten the morning off.

He took another drink. He was so engrossed in watching Fujiwara that he failed to notice Fumihiro approach until his old friend was practically standing in front of him.

"So you came out after all. I'm glad," Fumihiro Hiroshi said by way of a greeting.

"I'm taking Keisuke's advice for once."

Fumihiro raised a brow and took a sip of what appeared to be a fine white wine. "That's a new one, isn't it?" he asked with a light air about him.

"It is. He was determined that I take a night off and relax," Ryousuke said. Before he knew what he was doing, he lit another cigarette.

"Smoking again, Ryousuke?" Fumihiro asked with a frown. "I thought you quit."

"I did. But I'm _relaxing_. I'm a big boy, Shiko," Ryousuke replied with a smile, using a nickname he had called Fumihiro since they were small children growing up together, Fumihiro being a few years older, but young enough that they attended the same schools for a couple of years, and their families often travelled in the same social circles too.

Fumihiro laughed. "I suppose you are," he agreed. He was apparently willing to allow his friend's indulgence, even if he thought better of it. Ryousuke had always appreciated his loyalty, even if it often came with brutal honesty.

He had a feeling he was about to get a dose of it when he saw his friend follow his gaze. "So there he is," Fumihiro began. "I never expected him to be here at all. Keisuke can really be persuasive, I suppose."

"I think persuasive might be too kind. He probably threatened him," Ryousuke said sarcastically.

Fumihiro chuckled. "Maybe. I guess we'll never know, will we?"

"You're probably right." Ryousuke continued to steal glances at Fujiwara, who, by now, was looking totally forlorn, staring off into space. He always did that. 'I wonder what he thinks about when he looks like that,' Ryousuke mused.

"Well," Fumihiro continued, "Keisuke apparently found out some dirt about Fujiwara, and he was none too happy about it."

"Dirt?" Ryousuke asked curiously.

"It seems our shy hachi-roku driver has himself a little girlfriend. Keisuke was pretty ticked off about that. Couldn't stop whining about it in the car on the way over. I told him he's had his own chances, and he should call that cute Iwase-san again."

"Hmm," was all Ryousuke could say. To say that he was surprised was an understatement. To say that he was disappointed was to speak a truth that he wished was not true at all. "Interesting, I didn't know he was seeing someone," Ryousuke added, finishing his martini, and flagging over a cocktail waitress to order a second.

"He was getting a lot of text messages on our Kanagawa expeditions. I figured everyone sort of knew he might have someone."

"Really," Ryousuke commented, trying not to sound as surprised as he felt. Why didn't he ever notice that?

"I guess he was pretty secretive about it," Fumihiro continued, as if answering his friend's internal question. "I think he must have thought having a girlfriend was against the rules of Project D, especially since Keisuke made it no secret that he didn't have the time for it."

"Ah."

The waitress returned with his second martini. Thank God.

He found himself staring at Fujiwara again. Of course he should have a girlfriend. That's as it should be. Damn. What exactly did he expect anyway?

He did not realize that, just as he was studying his downhill Ace, his old friend Fumihiro was studying him.

"Oi. Ryousuke," Fumihiro began again as quietly as he could in the noisy lounge.

"What is it, Shiko?"

"You're not... disappointed to find out Fujiwara's, uh, involved with someone...are you?"

"Whatever gave you that idea?" Ryousuke deadpanned, knowing that he was friends with Fumihiro for more than just his loyalty. The guy was smart in his own right, and annoyingly perceptive in his own right as well. In fact, he was one of exactly two people in his inner circle, the other being Matsumoto, who knew about Ryousuke's discreet relationships at all. He and Fumihiro had been close since grade school, they always had been; they were each other's' confidantes. Fumihiro was the only person in years past to whom Ryousuke had told the full truth about the mess that was his personal life, and he had been surprised to learn that Fumihiro had pretty much figured things out on his own anyway. Where Fumihiro knew more about his preferences, Matsumoto knew everything about Kaori, and he figured Hiroshi probably knew about that too without even directly talking to him anymore about her after she was dead.

They remained silent for a few moments, and the two men casually sipped their drinks, and Ryousuke smoked. Fujiwara was still standing alone, staring off into space somewhere.

"You can't possibly think that it's a good idea," Fumihiro cautioned.

"That what's a good idea?"

"What you're thinking."

"What am I thinking, Shiko?"

Fumihiro furrowed his brow. "Do I really need to answer that?"

"No."

Fumihiro sighed. "Is this what it's been about then? With him?"

"Has 'what' been about?" Ryousuke asked. Fumihiro allowed the question to hang in the air for a moment. He wasn't surprised, in actuality. He had seen with his own eyes the rapt attention Fujiwara gave his friend, and he had also seen the reverse. He had seen the pats on the shoulder, the approving smile his friend awarded the young driver after battles. He had known that Ryousuke's admiration of Fujiwara's skills behind the wheel was deep, and that, perhaps, he had considered Fujiwara very carefully as a person as well. After all, it _was_ a fascinating question: what type of person drives the way Fujiwara Takumi does? He had always had the passing notion that Ryousuke was interested, but he knew that Ryousuke had a lot of issues with relationships, so Fumihiro didn't pursue the matter until now.

"Everything," Fumihiro finally answered.

"The reason I chose him for Project D should be obvious to you by now, Hiroshi. He's a genius."

"And...?" Fumihiro prodded.

"And, yeah, it doesn't hurt that he's easygoing and easy on the eyes, okay?" Ryousuke said in mock exasperation.

Fumihiro was thoughtful for a minute. "He looks up to you, admires you. I'm not sure it's anything more than that, though, Ryousuke. Don't let this become another Kaori-san. That was not a good situation; I know Fujiwara is not fragile like she was, but…there are too many unknowns. Confusion killed that girl. Don't confuse him."

"I know." So he really did know more about Kaori then. Fine. Ryousuke did not want to think anymore about Kaori and what she did, and what might have been, and that hint of danger that was never clear and present with her, but was always just lurking there. That was done; he'd made his peace with her. Hopefully, he'd also made a tenuous peace with Houjou Rin after the battle in which Kaori's fiancee, also his senpai, had raced him with the intent to make him pay with his life for moving on from Kaori when he himself could not.

Anyway, was it really that wrong to be attracted to Fujiwara? He wasn't doing anything about it. Especially if the guy had a girlfriend, it was moot and harmless anyway. What could he do to confuse him if that was the case? He'd be happy just to remain in touch with him, if that's all it would turn out to be. Right?

"Okay. As long as you know that," Fumihiro declared, "I don't need to tell you anything else."

Fujiwara talked for a few minutes with Keisuke again, and also with Matsumoto. Soon, however, he had moved off by himself.

"He looks miserable," Fumihiro observed, leaving the touchy subject of Kaori alone. He didn't know everything, and Matsumoto sure wasn't telling, but he'd pieced together enough. "He's got to be hating every moment of this, but it looks like he wants his friends to enjoy themselves. He's a good guy."

"Yeah, he is."

Ryousuke put out his cigarette and took another sip of his drink.

"Are you at least going to say hello to the team? Or are you going to just lurk in the background all night?" Hiroshi finally asked, trying to get his friend to join in.

"Maybe later."

"You know, the team would really like to see you. They're always happy when you show your lighter side."

Ryousuke sighed. "All right, all right. I'll say hello, and then I'm going to go home, no matter what Keisuke tries to do to keep me here all night."

Fumihiro smiled. "Well, I'll let you come over when you want to," he said as they raised their glasses to each other, and Fumihiro walked back toward the team.

Ryousuke sipped his martini. Of course he didn't want to confuse Fujiwara. Of course he knew that. He could not bear to lose someone else like the way he'd lost Kaori. It wasn't wrong to talk to him, though, was it? Decision made. 'Ah, why not. What the hell.'

He made his way over to where Fujiwara was standing. When he got a few feet away, it was apparent that Fujiwara did not realize he was there. Ryousuke took the chance to admire the uncharacteristically dressed-up hachi-roku driver close up. He couldn't help but think it was a damn shame the guy had a girlfriend. Ryousuke decided he'd just say hello to Fujiwara, make some small talk, excuse himself to visit with the team, then he'd get in the FC and go home. A simple plan.

"You look like you'd rather be anywhere but here, Fujiwara," Ryousuke said as he approached.

Fujiwara turned, a startled look in his eyes. "Ryousuke-san?" he said, his voice barely audible over the music.

 _Why did I come here?_

"Hi."

"Hello, Ryousuke-san. I'm, uh, surprised to see you here."

 _Dumbass. Ever think of saying, "nice to see you?" "glad you could make it"...am I glad? I am glad. I think._

"I could probably say the same about you, Fujiwara."

"Keisuke-san was very nice to invite my friends and I, and they really wanted to come, so..."

 _What are you? Twelve? You came because your friends wanted you to. You suck._

"Ah. Keisuke has that way about him. When he wants something, he'll be focused on it until he gets his way. I'm assuming he made it seem like not coming was not an option."

"Well, he had help. My friend Itsuki was really excited."

"He's been your friend since your school days, hasn't he?"

"Yeah."

Talking with Fujiwara was never really easy. In fact, Ryousuke ruefully realized that the young man rarely said more than a few words to him at a time. If he ventured to say more, it always seemed like it was a gargantuan effort for him.

"Fumihiro tells me you've been seeing someone. That's nice," Ryousuke offered.

 _Shit. He knows. Is he upset? Damn it, Itsuki!_

"Oh. So you know that. Is that okay?" Fujiwara asked with some trepidation.

Ryousuke looked at him questioningly, but he smiled. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Well, uh, Keisuke-san says that driving is more important than anything like that. So, I maybe thought you would, well..."

 _Idiot. I sound like an idiot._

"Not approve?"

Fujiwara looked away, but the action told Ryousuke that his approval or disapproval was exactly why the young driver was not forthcoming about his girlfriend.

"You don't need to worry about that. Frankly, Keisuke shouldn't either, but he does. That's just his way."

"Oh."

 _He's not pissed. Okay. Why do I not feel like that's a good thing? Did I want him to be pissed? What is wrong with me?!_

"Well, Ryousuke-san, it's not serious. We barely see each other anyway. It didn't interfere with my practicing."

"I was never concerned about anything interfering with that," Ryousuke said, taking another sip of his martini, nearly finishing it. "You always brought your best, Fujiwara, when it counted. That's all I ever expected, and you always delivered on it."

Fujiwara turned and met his eyes with the most elated expression on his face. It wasn't really a compliment, it was just the truth. Still, he couldn't help but to feel disappointed. It would seem that Fumihiro was right. The young driver looked up to him, and sought his approval, and nothing more. The simulation for happiness would have to be constructed another way after all.

"Can I get you a drink, Fujiwara?" Ryousuke asked.

Fujiwara seemed to be startled out of some kind of reverie by the request. "No, thank you, that's okay," he stammered. "I'm fine."

"Well," Ryousuke announced as he emptied his glass, "I'm about to have one more for the night. I think you should have one too. After all, Keisuke is buying tonight," he said with a smirk that seemed to put Fujiwara a bit more at ease.

"Okay, then, if Keisuke-san doesn't mind."

"He doesn't mind because he hasn't seen tonight's bill yet, Fujiwara," Ryousuke playfully replied.

Takumi couldn't help but smile. It was so rare to see his mentor in such a light-hearted mood. It was like the face he would see when, by some miracle, he did the right thing in a race. The brightness in Ryousuke's eyes, the ease of his posture, his whole spirit was uplifted, if only for a brief few moments. Those were the times when Takumi thought he might have met Ryousuke's expectations. Those were the times when he was glad he won, however he had managed to do it.

'You're killing me Fujiwara, you know that?' Ryousuke thought to himself as he saw the smile dance across Fujiwara's face. 'You just have no idea.'

"So, what will you have?" Ryousuke asked, recovering himself immediately from the thought of how handsome Fujiwara looked in his finery.

 _Crap. What? Oh, to drink. Yeah, what should I have to drink. Shit. How the hell should I know? This is a public place I'm not even 20 yet. Should I just get a beer like Keisuke gave me at the party?_

"Ryousuke-san?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm still nineteen. I don't think I should…here…"

 _I am so lame._

"This is a private party, Fujiwara. A few months shy of twenty won't make a difference," Ryousuke affirmed with a chuckle. It seemed that it was the shy, child-like Fujiwara who was here tonight after all.

"Okay."

"Is there anything you'd like to try?"

 _Beer?_

"What do you recommend?"

 _That should be safe. He's good at recommending things._

Ryousuke chuckled. Fumihiro was definitely right. The guy even looked to him for advice in choosing a beverage. "What do you like?"

"I really don't know. My dad drinks sake, but he gets drunk off it, so I don't think I'd like that. The beer was pretty good at the barbecue, but I don't know what they have here."

"You could certainly have a beer if you want to, but there are also many different types of sake. In fact, there's a very mild sparkling sake that you might like. We can split the bottle. How about that?"

"Okay."

 _I guess Ryousuke-san's not into beer? Come to think of it, he wasn't really drinking with the rest of us at the party…but he's drinking today. I wonder why…_

Ryousuke got the attention of a waitress and ordered a bottle of Zipang.

 _I'm sharing a drink with Ryousuke-san. This is okay, isn't it? What was that thing he was drinking before? Maybe I should try that. It looks like something from the James Bond movies. No. I'll drink what he orders. He's paying...er...Keisuke-san's paying. I don't want to be rude. He looks so relaxed. I don't usually see him like this. He looks so...shit. No. This is not happening. No. He's probably just realizing how pathetic I am standing here by myself. He's just trying to be nice. He's always like that._

"Fujiwara?" Ryousuke asked, trying to get his attention.

 _Shit. Shit. Shit._

"Yes?"

"You were a million miles away there for a second. Are you feeling all right?"

 _Shit. Shit. Now he's going "doctor" on me. Shit_.

"Sorry, I'm fine. Just a little distracted. I'm not used to places like this."

 _Or standing so close to Ryousuke-san. Or having a drink with Ryousuke-san. Or anything with Ryousuke-san outside of Project D._

"I don't care for this type of thing much either. But, since Keisuke went to all the trouble of getting everyone together, I figured I should come too."

Takumi felt his cheeks grow warm.

 _He's here because of Keisuke-san. Of course he is._

"I'm glad you did," Fujiwara said quietly, almost to himself. Ryousuke had barely heard it, but he had heard it. The guy was blushing again, the way he always did, in that way that made it very difficult for Ryousuke to see him as only his Ace downhiller. Especially in his relaxed mindset, Ryousuke found that his thoughts began to wander with incredible ease to the places they shouldn't go. Standing next to Fujiwara, with no Keisuke around, no one but the two of them in their own corner of the bedlam of the club was both refreshing and insufferable. He really needed to get a grip because there was no chance in hell. He couldn't confuse him, not at this critical time.

Thankfully, the waitress returned with the Zipang and she opened the bottle. Instead of the ochoko Takumi was used to seeing around his house when his dad broke out the sake, the waitress had brought them two miniature wine glasses.

 _If Itsuki comes over here, he'll tease me about it being a "chick drink". Shit. He better not come over here. Where the hell is he? He better be far away when I'm with Ryousuke-san…Wait. Why does that even matter?_

"Here we are, Fujiwara. I hope you like it," Ryousuke said as he poured them each a sip of the sparkling sake.

"I'm sure I will." He tried a sip; it was not like he expected sake to be at all. It was more like the champagne he had at Christmas when Mogi had shown up at his house for a surprise Christmas Party.

 _Yeah. That night. Forget about it. Now._

"Well, do you like it?" Ryousuke asked, pouring himself another sip.

"Yes. I like it. Thank you," Takumi replied. It really was good.

"Good. Have another little glass, if you want. Let's thank Keisuke, shall we?" Ryousuke said good-naturedly as he poured more Zipang into each of their glasses, and motioned his in a mock toast in the general direction of his brother.

Ryousuke was amazed to hear Fujiwara chuckle a little before taking a sip. It was rare to see him smile or to hear him laugh, even a little. He either looked shy and spaced out, or incredibly focused and determined they way he did when receiving instructions before he went into battle. Either way was pleasing, but, the smile meant more because it was such a rarity to see. For once, it seemed like Fujiwara might allow himself, if only for a few moments, to be comfortable around him. It was far more intoxicating than were the martinis or the Zipang.

However, they fell into silence once more, and Ryousuke sensed that Fujiwara was once again becoming uncomfortable. Fumihiro had tried to caution him. Keisuke had told him to just say "fuck it" and live a little. Granted, Keisuke was hoping Ryousuke would find a cute girl and take her home, but, Ryousuke preferred to think about it in terms of the sentiment in which it was said. Of course, there was really no chance for _that_ to happen, but Ryousuke felt himself craving the attention of the younger man, and he also felt like giving him attention too.

And, there were things he wanted to ask his downhiller that had always gone unasked, mainly because an opportunity to speak with him alone rarely presented itself outside of a battle situation. All attraction aside, Ryousuke was genuinely curious about Fujiwara, how his mind worked, his intuitive process, his father's teaching methods...there was still so much he wanted to know, and now, there was precious little time in which to learn it. So little, in fact, that he wasn't sure the gift he had planned to give Fujiwara for his "graduation" from the project would be ready in time for the little debut trip he was planning. He thought it somewhat of an injustice to his downhiller if he couldn't have him make that trip in the very car that had made him as a driver. He'd been checking the progress daily, but it had been painfully slow, very similar to the pace of all of his conversations with the younger driver had been up to this point.

'I would be happy just to learn what I want to learn about him. That would be more than fine,' Ryousuke thought to himself. He would be leaving in a few short months, and Fujiwara would go off on his own as well. There might never be another chance to unlock the mystery of the "Fujiwara Zone", to bring himself to complete understanding of it. Of course, something like that may not even be possible to understand. But, Ryousuke wanted to try to experience what Fujiwara, the person, was like. Hopefully, by asking him certain questions, he would get the answers he needed.

It wasn't a simulation for lifelong happiness, but it would do for tonight. At least he could add whatever he might learn to his theory of Fastest Speed on Public Roads.

"I'm going to say hello to the team, and then I'm going to seek some quiet elsewhere," Ryousuke said.

"Oh? You're leaving?"

"I think so, in a bit."

 _He's leaving. Why am I so disappointed? I don't want him to leave. The way he is tonight...he's not tense at all. I like this side of him. A lot. He looks so...amazing. Why are you leaving? Of course he has better things to do than hang out with a weirdo like you. I want to leave too. Stop. Stop. Where is Mika-chan in her bikini when I need her?_

"Fujiwara."

 _Don't leave._

"Fujiwara!"

Takumi's attention was immediately snapped to his mentor at hearing the tone he used when directing his Aces on their expeditions. "Yes, Ryousuke-san?"

The team leader chuckled. "You're such a strange person. I was asking if you wanted a ride home. It looks like your friends aren't planning on leaving any time soon."

 _What?!_

"Oh," replied Takumi, looking in the direction in which Ryousuke gestured. Sure enough, his friends looked like they were having a blast with Keisuke, and with each other. "No, that's okay, Ryousuke-san. Thank you, but I don't want to be any trouble."

"Nonsense. Fujiwara, I can see that this is definitely not your idea of a good time, sparkling sake aside. Besides, it's getting a bit late. Don't you have to do your deliveries?"

Takumi was startled. "Actually, my dad said he'd do them tomorrow, so it's okay. I can wait for the guys."

"Ah. Well, let me put it this way. There are some things I'd like to ask you. It's rare that we get to talk one on one. Would you mind? It would be helpful for me to more fully understand the way you drive."

 _Huh?! But you already know everything, don't you?_

Takumi looked at Ryousuke, not sure how to respond. "But you already know everything I can do," he said, and his face had a certain measure of bewilderment in it.

Ryousuke allowed himself to laugh lightly. "I might have a fair idea, but, it would be nice to know for sure about a few things."

Takumi considered. He really did want to leave, but he didn't want his friends to miss out on their enjoyment on his account. However, he discovered that he didn't want to miss the chance to sit in the navi-seat of the FC once more, even if it was for just a casual drive back home. There was still so much he could learn by simply watching Ryousuke drive, how they differed, how they were similar. Ryousuke was still a giant in Fujiwara's eyes, and he felt like any chance to watch him drive would be worth it.

"All right, if you're sure."

"I'm sure. Let me make an appearance for Keisuke, and we'll take off."

"Okay. I'm just going to tell Iketani-senpai that I'll be going, and grab my stuff out of the hired car."

"Your 'stuff'?" Ryousuke asked with a very amused expression on his face.

Takumi blushed deeply. "Uh, well, since my old man said he was going to do the delivery, I was just planning on crashing at Itsuki's later. I really hate dressing up like this, so I brought...my stuff."

 _I'm a rambling idiot._

"Let me guess, a t-shirt and jeans."

Takumi nodded sheepishly.

 _Can I be any more pathetic?_

"Well, I suppose getting dressed up is a hassle if you're not used to it," Ryousuke offered, trying to curb Fujiwara's embarrassment. It seemed to work, because a slight look of relief crossed his face. "Okay. I'll have a little chat with Keisuke, and I'll meet you outside. The FC is in the lot."

Fujiwara nodded and walked away toward his friends. Ryousuke wondered why he decided to torture himself to this extent. He sighed, finished the last of the Zipang, realizing he had drank most of it while Fujiwara merely sampled.

As he prepared to leave, he had to admit that Keisuke did have the right idea; he did relax, and he did have a good time. Of course Keisuke would probably be pissed that he gave Fujiwara a ride home instead of leaving his rival to the dreaded car service. Oh well, he was sure he would hear all about it tomorrow afternoon when his brother finally sobered up.

He took a few steps toward Keisuke, and was noticed right away. He looked thrilled, and Ryousuke was glad of it. It seemed that this night out was one of Keisuke's better ideas.


	10. Chapter 10

Club Lotus, Takasaki, Saturday, 1:27 AM.

"Over here, Aniki!" Keisuke called, waving his hand which held a beer bottle that seemed to be surgically attached.

Ryousuke walked over to the group. Fumihiro had been right again; they all did seem really happy to see him. He almost felt guilty, knowing that he would just be saying a quick hello.

"Hello, Keisuke, Everyone," he greeted.

"When did you get here?" the tipsy FD driver asked. He wasn't slurring his speech yet. Ryousuke determined that he was somewhere between "happy drunk" and "silly drunk". That was acceptable.

"A little while ago, I guess. Looks like you're treating our friends to a wonderful time."

"Well, now that you're here, you can hang, can't you?"

"Sorry, Keisuke. I can't stay," Ryousuke admitted. He could see that his words did not go over well with the team.

Keisuke shot him a look. It was a question.

"Guys, I'll be right back," Keisuke announced to the group. He then nodded for his brother to follow him. Once they were somewhat out of the way of things, he asked aloud what he was asking in silence a moment before. "So, Aniki. Did you _relax_?"

"I did."

Keisuke smiled victoriously. "All right, then. Where is she?"

"Where is whom?" Ryousuke said evenly, knowing exactly what Keisuke was asking and not caring to indulge his brother in this instance.

"Bastard. You won't even let me have a look at her before you take off?"

"Keisuke..."

"Come _on_ , Aniki! You had to have found someone interesting here! Look at all these hot girls!"

"You know this isn't really my kind of place." Of course he _had_ found "someone interesting", but that, too, was its own problem.

"Who cares? I want to see who you're going to be relaxing with tonight!"

Correction. Keisuke was already past "silly drunk" and well into "loud drunk." Ryousuke sighed. "Sorry," he began dryly, "but I have to inform you that your plan to get me laid has failed."

"What?!" Keisuke shouted. "You're friggin' kidding me. I bet you just didn't even talk to anyone. You can't even fucking humor me for one night, can you? Jerk." He was...pouting. He looked ridiculous.

"I showed up, didn't I?"

"For five goddamn minutes! And I even invited that weirdo just to make sure you came, and he kept doing a damn disappearing act. Even his friends are more fun to be around than he is!"

"You're getting loud, Keisuke," Ryousuke warned.

"Oh," the younger acknowledged with a chuckle. "Sorry. But geez, Aniki. I wanted you to have fun."

"It has been fun. But, this is your night. Take your own advice, if you want. As you said, there are plenty of hot girls here. Find one. But, do be quiet about it if you bring her home, will you? I think you scarred me for life when you brought your last girlfriend home after a wild night out at a place like this."

Keisuke put his free hand to the back of his head, as if willing the memory to come forth. When it did, he blushed a little and laughed a lot. "Oh yeah, I remember that, uh, sorry. We were a little tipsy that night. We should have gone to a hotel."

"I would say so."

"Well, no harm, right? I could hear you purposely clattering around, and then, when that didn't shut us up, you took off for your campus place. That's when I knew I'd been a little too...enthusiastic," he said, with absolutely no hint of modesty.

"All right, Keisuke. Thanks for that wonderful trip down memory lane. I've got to get going."

"Don't think I won't try this again."

"Oh, I know. See ya."

"See you at home."

Ryousuke waved at the team and made his way toward the exit. A few short moments after the elder left the building, Takumi approached Keisuke.

"Hello, Keisuke-san," he began.

"Yo. Where did you go to anyway? You just missed Aniki."

"Oh," Takumi replied, trying to will the heat away from his face. Apparently Ryousuke didn't mention to his brother that he would be taking him back home.

"Well, anyway, are you having an okay time?" Keisuke asked, noticing that his rival was a million miles away.

"Sure. But, I just wanted to thank you before I left."

"Oh? You guys are leaving too?" Keisuke asked.

 _What should I say? Think. Think. Crap._

"Actually, I got a ride home from someone, so my friends will take the hired car back later, if that's okay. They'd like to finish their drinks, I guess," Takumi explained weakly.

Keisuke looked at Fujiwara. Shy, weird, Fujiwara-who-has-a-friggin'-girlfriend. The _hell_?! Was he some kind of player or something? Getting a ride home with someone? Holy shit; had he totally missed something about this dork? No. Stop. The weirdo was not going to ruin his good mood. Not tonight. Keisuke decided that he may as well be happy that _someone_ he knew was going to have a fun night after hours.

"Oh, I _see_. Well, good for you, Fujiwara," Keisuke laughed, nudging his friend with his elbow. "I've got to hand it to you."

 _What the hell is Keisuke-san talking about? Is he drunk?_

"Uh, sure. Well, good-night, and thank you, Keisuke-san," he said, bowing politely. "You were really generous to invite us."

"Don't mention it. Maybe we can do it again sometime, okay?"

"Sure," he repeated. _No way_. "Later."

Keisuke watched as Fujiwara made a hasty exit. Alone. 'What the hell is going on here?' he thought.

Then he remembered that his beer was almost empty. He drained it, and made his way toward a cute waitress and ordered another, returning to his merrymaking with the team.

Across the room found three very incredulous members of the Akina Speed Stars watching their friend leave the club.

"So, Iketani," Kenji began, sipping his wine. "What do you think of this latest development?"

Iketani had a concerned look on his face. Takumi had just informed them that Ryousuke was giving him a ride home. "I'm just not sure, Kenji," he replied. The two seniors of the Speed Stars had always been curious about Takumi's always odd behavior concerning Takahashi Ryousuke.

"What are you guys talking about?" Itsuki implored, sipping a beer and enjoying it.

Kenji and Iketani looked at each other. They'd had their suspicions, but they'd never let Itsuki in on any of them before. But now, Takumi was getting a ride home with his mentor. "Well, Itsuki," Iketani began, realizing that it was about time they let their younger friend in on some of the things about which he and Kenji had been wondering. "Don't you think it's strange how Takumi acts around Takahashi Ryousuke?"

Itsuki rolled his eyes. "Duh. Didn't we call it the 'Ryousuke Meltdown'? He just gets like that. Who knows with him, right?"

"Itsuki, do you think Takumi might have a little 'thing' for Ryousuke-san?" Kenji asked, preferring a straightforward approach.

"A 'thing'?" Itsuki asked, not quite understanding the meaning.

"A crush, Itsuki," Iketani explained.

"Eh?!" Itsuki loudly retorted, causing Iketani to wave his hand in front of him to shut him up. It didn't work. "Nah, give me a break! Of all of us, who is it that always manages to score a cute girlfriend! You can't be serious, Senpai!"

Iketani and Kenji looked at each other again. "Don't you think you're being a little naive, Itsuki?"

"How?" Itsuki implored with a frown.

"Well, usually, when someone offers you a ride home from a place like this, it means they're _interested_ ," Kenji said, hoping his emphasis would be enough to avoid spelling it out exactly. Itsuki got the meaning. He mouth gaped open in what could only be described as a confused state of shock.

"No way, Senpai! How could you two even think that? That's Takahashi Ryousuke you're talking about here. He probably has a girlfriend for every damn day of the week! And, Takumi is spacey, sure. He's strange around Ryousuke-san, but, hell, who wouldn't be? Aren't you two the ones always talking about street charisma? Even I think Takahashi Ryousuke is freakin awesome. And Takumi was on his team! Of course that would freak anyone out!"

"Calm down, Itsuki," Iketani cautioned, seeing that Itsuki was trying vehemently to cleanse his mind of the notion it had just been given. "It's not like it's a big deal to us either way, it's just curious. Even when it comes to talking about Mika-chan, he's more relaxed. We're just saying we kind of noticed something between them. That's all. It could be nothing."

"Of course it's nothing," Itsuki replied, albeit somewhat less insistently. Though, he had to admit he had never looked at his friend's behavior from that particular point of view. Could his friend really have a "thing" for his team leader? No way.

"I wonder about it, though," Kenji mused aloud. "I mean, I kind of have a sense about things like this. Remember when we first met Mika-chan? I told you guys that she was into him, but you didn't believe it until you saw it for yourselves."

"So?" Itsuki protested. "You were right once. I've known Takumi since junior high. I'm sure if something like _that_ was going on, I'd at least have a clue about it!"

"Eh, you're probably right, Itsuki," Kenji relented, stealing a glance at Iketani. "I've probably been indulging a bit too much on the good wine they have here. We should be going soon, shouldn't we?" he asked, hoping Iketani would help out to drop the subject of Takumi and Ryousuke.

"Kenji's right. Let's finish our drinks, and we'll thank Keisuke-san and then we'll leave."

"Okay," replied Itsuki. Somehow, he felt like he was missing something. There was no way his two senpai could be right, could they? No. No way.

* * *

Parking lot of Club Lotus, Maebashi, Saturday, 1:55 AM.

Takumi had gathered his backpack from the back seat of the hired sedan and looked around for the familiar white Mazda RX-7 owned by his mentor. It didn't take him long to see the car and its owner who was leaning on it, smoking a cigarette. He had parked well away from the other cars, the FC seeming to be a beautiful private oasis, as if it was a car that, with its incomparable driver, might as well be sitting on top of the world as on top of the concrete of the parking lot. He looked at Ryousuke for a moment as the elder put out his smoke and popped a mint into his mouth, and he immediately started second guessing his decision to leave with him. It might be more than he could take.

 _Too late now. Just go. He'll take me home and I can go to sleep. Yeah, right. Like I'll be able to._

He took a deep breath, and made his way over to Ryousuke. When he came to within a few feet, his mentor looked up and smiled. There it was again. He definitely was in a relaxed mood; that was rare, and wonderful. Takumi wondered what Ryousuke wanted to ask him, but he decided to let the older man do the talking as much as possible. Things were better that way.

"Are you ready, Fujiwara?"

"Yes, Ryousuke-san. I'm ready."

 _It's just a ride. That's all. Just watch him drive. Why do I have to get so nervous and flustered? I've known him for a while now. It should be fine. Even though he looks good. Ryousuke-san always looks...Damn. Idiot._

"Okay. Get in," Ryousuke said softly as he opened the door to the driver's side and got into the FC. Takumi opened the passenger door and tossed his bag into the back seat, hoping he wouldn't forget it later.

Takumi was about to put on his seatbelt when he noticed that Ryousuke had not made a move to start the car. He just sat looking out the windshield toward something indefinite. Takumi tried to detect something in his expression, but he could not. He decided that he would just sit and wait for instructions.

"Fujiwara, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, Ryousuke-san."

"Do you feel that Project D has given you the tools you need to become a professional racer?"

"Yes. I do. But, I still have a lot to learn. There's a lot I still don't know. I need to keep going before things are official as much as I can until..." Takumi's voice trailed off. As far as Ryousuke could tell, he hadn't gone off into his own world yet. He was inclined to stay in the parking lot for a while, hoping that Fujiwara would be willing to talk a little in the reasonable privacy of the car and its tinted windows.

"Until you start training as a pro?" Ryousuke finished.

"Yeah."

The two men sat silently for a moment in the FC. It was as if both of them were thinking the same thought: Project D was over. For Ryousuke, it would be closing the door on his youth. For Fujiwara, it would mean that new doors would soon be opening for him.

"Um, Ryousuke-san?"

"Hmm?"

"When will everything be decided?"

Ryousuke sighed. "Soon."

"Oh."

Even in profile, Takumi could see the sadness in his mentor's face. This had been Ryousuke's team, his baby. It occurred to Takumi that Ryousuke was not as willing to leave it all behind for medical school as it seemed, despite the fact that Ryousuke excelled in it.

"Fujiwara, before I move for my studies, I'd love to go with you once on your tofu delivery. I've always wanted to know how you practice, how your father created you as a driver."

Takumi felt his face flush.

 _Why? Why would he be interested in that? The only difference is that stupid cup of water._

"I don't think you'd be able to tell anything from the delivery run. It's nothing special."

Ryousuke chuckled. "You say that, but look at you. There is, indeed, something particular about how you developed," Ryousuke insisted. "I'm just saying I'd like to see it first hand. I'd love to get to know your Father better someday as well. I'm sure he could show me some things I would never forget. It would be incredibly interesting to talk with him."

"No it wouldn't." Takumi deadpanned.

 _Shitty Old Man. He probably wouldn't even put down the paper._

Ryousuke laughed. "Well, I'd like to visit with him. I wonder if you'd arrange that for me as we finish finalizing things."

"I guess so," Takumi replied, wondering why he had a nagging curiosity about Ryousuke's choice of words, saying he wanted to "get to know your Father better" and not "meet" his Father. Shouldn't Ryousuke meet the guy first? Then he'd know talking to him would be a lost cause, wouldn't he? "Don't expect too much," he continued, "My Dad's not much into telling anybody what's on his mind. I never know what the hell he's thinking half the time."

'Like father, like son,' Ryousuke thought as he nodded his understanding. Ryousuke asked him a few more questions about his daily runs on Akina, how he overcame the snow, the sleet, the rain. Takumi's responses were short and polite, as they always were. They fell into an awkward silence that Ryousuke thought Fujiwara was having a tough time bearing. The young man was looking out the window into the night. He was far away again, and Ryousuke felt somehow unfulfilled. Had he expected anything else? Who was Fujiwara, the person, anyway? This couldn't be all there was. There was another side, of that he was sure.

'Who are you, Takumi?' he asked himself. Ryousuke looked at the perfect profile of the young man sitting next to him, the thought of calling Fujiwara by his given name bringing with it a wistfulness he hadn't thought he was capable of feeling. He had always thought the name suited Fujiwara to a tee; "the carpenter" was one meaning for it, but Ryousuke preferred its other meaning: "the artisan". When it came to driving the hachi-roku, no one could do it with the artistry of his Downhill Ace. As he reclined a bit in the seat of the FC, he realized that even he didn't have that perfect unity with his car that Fujiwara had with the hachi-roku. He also had the notion that Takumi was just as talented with the Impreza, especially since he had found out from Matsumoto that Takumi had been practicing the One-Hand Steer with it, a technique he had been able to see up-close and personal from the navi-seat of the S2000 that belonged to the God of Hand driver of Purple Shadow. With a powerful machine like the 4WD Subaru, he was sure to be even more devastating as an opponent. Glancing at the dashboard of his FC, he had the thought that no tuning he could come up with for his own aging vehicle would be able to compensate for a scary technique like that in a car like the Impreza with a driver like Fujiwara.

Fujiwara had surpassed him, Keisuke had surpassed him, and that was the way it was supposed be.

While he would be caring for a patient, or hunched over a desk filled with reports and patient files, reeking of antibacterial soap, clad in a stark white lab coat, his hand-picked Aces would be living the Dream.

Ryousuke sighed again and put the keys in the ignition. He was about to fasten his seatbelt when, surprisingly, Fujiwara spoke up.

"Uh, Ryousuke-san?" Takumi ventured.

"What is it, Fujiwara?" Ryousuke asked softly.

"What kind of doctor are you going to be?"

Ryousuke turned to face Fujiwara, noticing, even in darkness, the subtle blush that graced the young driver's cheeks as he looked away immediately after the question escaped him. Ryousuke was surprised to hear the question, never mind that it came from his soft spoken protégé. He didn't talk much about medical school around the team members at large, reserving those types of conversations for Fumihiro alone. He realized that it was some kind of subconscious avoidance tactic. When he was with his team, he wanted only to be its leader, and not a medical student at all. Truthfully, his aversion to discussions of it wasn't exclusive to his interactions with the team; it happened anytime he wasn't stuck in the lab or the lecture hall. After all, his father had made it clear that he didn't have a choice about such a trivial thing as the rest of his life.

"That's a sudden question, isn't it, Fujiwara?" he asked, his voice barely over a whisper.

 _Shit. Why am I asking that? Asking Ryousuke-san about school of all things! He probably knows I'm too dumb for him to answer that. Idiot!_

"Uh," Takumi stammered, "what I mean is, Kenji-senpai asked me if I knew what you were studying, and I was kind of embarrassed that I didn't."

 _Dumbass_.

"Hmm. I see. Well, it's not really all that exciting. In fact, I haven't declared a specialty yet. That's part of the reason why I'm moving. My father wants me to come to a decision, and he thinks that if I study elsewhere, it will help me to make the right choice."

"So you don't know?" Takumi blurted out, astonished that Ryousuke wouldn't know the answer to a question that was as important as the direction of his profession.

The med student laughed a little again, and Takumi was thrilled once more to see the smile in his eyes. "There are plenty of things I don't know."

Takumi had a confused expression on his face. "I can't imagine that's true, Ryousuke-san," he whispered.

"Oh, it is, Fujiwara. It is."

Ryousuke studied the young man in his passenger seat. He thought about how it would feel to have Fujiwara address him without the polite distance the honorific "-san" provided. How would it feel? Dangerous, a danger clear and present, and not vague and mysterious like it had been with Kaori. That's how it would feel. He wondered for the millionth time how people like Fujiwara and Keisuke lived they way they did, by feelings, emotions, instinct. Ryousuke thought how pathetic he was that he required simulations to perform what his brother and his protégé did without a single thought. He wondered if he could just _feel_ , give in to the moment, and make the snap decision without plan. No. He couldn't; he _shouldn't_ do that.

' _Don't confuse him.'_

The recollection of Fumihiro's words, that were now on a constant playback loop in his brain as he sat alone with the younger man, was not having the desired effect of making him want to end this interaction before that danger zone truly materialized.

He knew he should start the car and drive toward the base of Akina where the Fujiwara Tofu Shop stood tucked away in that small shopping district in Shibukawa. But, he realized, he didn't answer Fujiwara's question. He should at least do that, since it probably took a fair amount of Fujiwara's intestinal fortitude to ask it in the first place.

"I'm thinking of specializing in anesthesiology," he said plainly. How boring.

Fujiwara smiled a little, the confused expression gone. "Amazing," he breathed. "Is that the kind of doctor your father is?"

"No. He's a surgeon, but, nowadays, he's more of a surgical consultant. He has to run the business side of things too now."

"Ah. He must be proud of you," Takumi said.

Ryousuke considered the statement. "I don't think it's pride, Fujiwara. It's an expectation."

Takumi furrowed his brow. "Expectation?"

Ryousuke nodded. "In fact, he'll probably be disappointed with my choice."

"Why?" Takumi was incredibly confused. If he had been smart like Ryousuke, even _his_ father might brag about him a little, he thought. How could Dr. Takahashi not be proud of his gifted son? It made no sense.

"Because I think he'd prefer that I be a surgeon instead, like him. It's his hospital. It's his expectation that I be the one to carry it forward. He likes to say that anesthesiology isn't really any big deal, that it's the hands of the surgeon that makes the difference in people's lives. Anesthesiologists are lazy, he says, getting a fat paycheck for doing absolutely nothing but administering drugs."

Takumi said nothing. He didn't understand. Ryousuke seemed...bitter. It was unpleasant.

 _You screwed it up. You made him upset. Good one. Change the subject. Quickly_.

"So, are you going to Tokyo, then?" Takumi asked, surprising himself.

Ryousuke shrugged a bit offhandedly. "I might end up there for residency, but I'll be studying abroad first."

Ryousuke saw Fujiwara recoil. That sense of danger was there again. He needed to stop this conversation. _Immediately_. Why the hell couldn't he just start the damn car?

"Abroad? Like, in another country?" Fujiwara whispered.

"Yes. There are a number of schools in America that I am considering," he admitted.

Takumi was shocked.

 _What the hell? He's leaving the damn country? For America? I won't be seeing him at all. At all! Who would give me advice? Not the Shitty Old Man. Shit. If it was Tokyo, I could deal...wait. What? Like he would have time for me._

"That far?" Fujiwara breathed, his voice nearly inaudible. Ryousuke studied him again. He figured Keisuke would have a similar reaction. He had not even told Keisuke that he'd be moving so far away; he had planned to tell him as soon as his contract was signed, not wanting to upset him before then. If this was Fujiwara's reaction, Keisuke's would likely be about fifty times more intense. But, he was actually having a conversation with Fujiwara. He was catching a glimpse of Fujiwara, the person. There was as much beauty within him as without with the young man. He chided himself for wanting more, his thoughts of selfish desire plaguing him anew. So, he pushed it away again, and simply nodded his assent.

"How long?" Takumi managed to eke out.

"A year, maybe a little more."

 _A year. I won't see him for a year. He'll forget me. I don't want him to forget me. What should I say? What can I do? Don't go? Don't leave me? Idiot._

Takumi looked at Ryousuke. His mentor. The person he always admired. He had nothing to say. He didn't think anymore. There was nothing he could do but act.

Before Ryousuke could register what was happening, Fujiwara suddenly moved in his seat and pressed his lips to his mouth and held them there. Ryousuke was stunned, his body frozen, trapped by the prison of the suppression of his own forbidden desires. He couldn't react. The feeling of danger, the shock, the utter astonishment of it, the very person he had told himself to forget about pursuing was...kissing him. It was chaste, but Ryousuke could feel the underlying intensity. He wanted more, though he knew he shouldn't. If this was some kind of alcoholic dream, he didn't want to wake from it.

This was wrong. Inappropriate. Startling. Incredible. Dangerous.

Ryousuke remained in this unmoving state, unable to close his eyes or to look away. Then, as suddenly as it had occurred, Fujiwara abruptly pulled away, a look of absolute terror in his eyes. Ryousuke wanted to tell him it was all right, but his voice wouldn't come. He couldn't hide the shock in his facial expression and Fujiwara saw it too. They sat frozen, neither of them knowing what to say or do.

 _Oh. My. God. What the hell have I done?! Get out of the car. Now!_

"Ryousuke-san, forgive me!" he gasped, tearing up, as he tried to raise an uncooperative door handle.

"Wait!" Ryousuke commanded, finding his voice at last. His body was responding faster than his mind, and he managed to press the automatic door lock button, preventing Fujiwara from leaving. The pain he saw in Fujiwara's face cut him like a knife. This was not supposed to have happened. 'How the hell did I let this happen?!'

"No! I have to get out, _now_!"

Ryousuke grabbed his wrist as Takumi was struggling to overcome the locked door of the FC.

"Fujiwara, please," he said, trying to put a measure of calm into his voice that he didn't feel. Fujiwara was mortified, and pulling away hard. It was all Ryousuke could do just to keep the grasp on the younger man's wrist firm.

"Forgive me! I'm so sorry...I'm..oh my God, just let me out! I don't want you to ever have to see me again!" he shouted, choking on his words. If calm wouldn't work, then Ryousuke had to quickly find another tactic. He did not want Fujiwara to run away. Not now. He adopted the air of the stern team leader.

"Fujiwara! Stop. Now!" His tone said that it was not a request.

Fujiwara immediately stopped pulling and squeezed his eyes shut, as if trying to erase what had just happened, or maybe to go back in time. But, his mentor's tone stopped him, producing the stimulus response reaction of giving Ryousuke his attention. Seconds later, he opened his eyes, but he couldn't bear to look at Ryousuke's face, for the fear of what he might see in those eyes from which he had always sought approval.

 _He hates me. He'll probably get Keisuke-san to beat the shit out of me. Idiot! What the hell have you done?!_

"Fujiwara," Ryousuke began firmly. Fujiwara started to pull his hand away again, but the intensity of it had lessened somewhat.

"Ryousuke-san, let me g-"

"Don't talk. Listen," he interrupted. He didn't let go of Fujiwara's wrist, but the lessening pressure seemed to indicate that the downhiller was going to follow his instructions.

He took a deep breath. This was not part of the simulation at all. There was no logic in this, no reason for Fujiwara to do what he did, and no reason for Ryousuke to think it was anything more than an accident. But, it had happened, and it wouldn't go away. If he could talk to Fujiwara, assure him that he wasn't angry...but he would have to tread carefully. He had no idea what Fujiwara was thinking other than that he wanted to disappear. This was _not_ the time for his own feelings to take over. He had to rationalize it, didn't he? It was the shock that he would be moving so far away that did it. That, combined with what he supposed was Fujiwara's admiration of him as a mentor. That was it. It didn't mean anything else, it couldn't have.

"Fujiwara," he began again. "If you think I'm angry with you,... I'm not," he said quietly, cautiously.

Fujiwara was still. 'Good. That was the right thing to say,' Ryousuke thought. 'Now what?'

"It was just...unexpected."

Fujiwara resumed fiddling with the door and Ryousuke immediately locked it again. 'Shit. Wrong thing to say,' Ryousuke lamented to himself.

"Ryousuke-san, let me out. Please," Fujiwara whispered in a defeated tone.

"Fujiwara, I'm not letting you out until I tell you what I have to say. This is not a request."

He stopped pulling. It was now or never. Ryousuke knew it was the wrong thing to do, and every fiber of his being was telling him so, but, his restraint was failing. To have had his feelings stirred this way; it was almost too much to bear. If it was one-sided, so be it. If this was a one time occurrence, all he wanted to do was make sure that Fujiwara didn't hate himself for what he did.

A simulation for a solution found its way into his mind, and caution found itself being thrown to the wind. The danger was all too real, just like attacking a hairpin turn, braking at the last possible millisecond before pounding the pedals and yanking the wheel; but attacking a corner can be calculated and planned to produce a successful outcome. How in the hell was he supposed to plan for Takumi to kiss him out of fucking nowhere?!

"I said it was unexpected..," he paused, in a last second debate within himself before he uttered the type of words he had sworn to himself he would never say. He had Fujiwara's attention for the moment. Decision made.

"I did not say it was...unwelcome," he said quietly as he looked intently at Fujiwara for a reaction. There was none.

 _What the hell did he just say?_

Takumi was embarrassed. Mortified. But, he had heard correctly, hadn't he?

 _No. No. He didn't just say.._.

Slowly, Takumi raised his eyes, daring to look at Ryousuke. He expected to see disapproval, maybe even hatred or disgust in the eyes of his mentor. But what he saw confused him. It looked like...sincerity.

"Ryousuke...san?"

Ryousuke was relieved that Fujiwara had finally looked at him, though his apprehensive expression gave him pause.

' _Don't confuse him.'_

All he could do now was what he had done in the past when lectures would not have been enough. He just had to show him, let Fujiwara's own instinct take over, and hopefully, get the desired result of assuring him that he did nothing wrong.

Ryousuke put his free hand on Takumi's chin. "Let me show you," he whispered.

 _Show me...?_

He saw Fujiwara's eyes grow wide, and he could see his chest heave. He gently pulled the young driver's face toward his own, and gave in to that dangerous feeling.

He pressed his lips to Fujiwara's. Lightly. Cautiously. He brushed them slightly with a feather-like touch before pulling away, and he thought he heard a quick intake of breath from the younger man. He opened his eyes to see that Fujiwara's eyes were closed, and that he was breathing rapidly.

 _He did this. He wanted this. Ryousuke-san wanted...this?_

Ryousuke's own heartbeat was frantic, though he tried to remain calm. 'All right. He's not trying to rip the handle off the door. Okay.'

Fujiwara finally opened his eyes, and there was a question behind his gaze.

"Now we've both done something unexpected, okay?" Ryousuke said quietly.

Fujiwara only nodded slowly.

"There's nothing to forgive here. Don't apologize again."

Fujiwara nodded again, and his expression went from apprehensive to serious. Intense. _Determined_. Ryousuke found himself inhaling deeply. Fujiwara looked like a different person. Was this the person he had wanted to see? Was this the Fujiwara who was a complete monster behind the wheel? He wanted to know. He _needed_ to know. But, he wasn't positive. After all, this was as far as his hastily concocted simulation had taken him.

It would only be seconds later that Ryousuke would realize that there was no need for a simulation at all.

Fujiwara didn't speak, and Ryousuke realized he didn't have to. To his amazement, Fujiwara kissed him again, still a bit tentatively. This time, Ryousuke welcomed the kiss, the feeling of their lips touching, though they were closed, only served to heighten his own desire. He wanted more. He _needed_ more, but he was not sure how much Fujiwara was willing to give. Ryousuke needed to find out; he needed to be one hundred percent certain.

He raised his hand and ran his fingers through Fujiwara's hair, feeling the softness of it within his fingers, then trailed his fingertips down to his ear, his neck. He was beautiful to touch, beautiful to kiss. Desire was overtaking him. He knew if he took it much further, it would soon be not enough. He nibbled on Fujiwara's lower lip, which, pleasingly, incited another quick draw of breath from the younger man.

But, a second later, Fujiwara pulled away, staring. 'Damn,' Ryousuke thought. 'Too much.'

He was wrong.

 _Should I do it? I don't get what's happening here, but...I like it. I don't want it to end. Oh my God, I need him._

Fujiwara suddenly crashed his lips onto Ryousuke, sending the older man into shock once again, but, this time, it was the shock of his own desire. He accepted the danger. He felt the rush of adrenaline, and of other things besides, that were overriding all the alarm bells that had been pealing away in his head. It was time to make a decisive move, and even if logic was telling him he needed to stop, he found that he just didn't fucking care to. He tugged on Fujiwara's lip again with his teeth, trying to urge him to open his mouth, but, to his amazement, Fujiwara needed no urging at all.

Ryousuke was stunned to feel the passion of Fujiwara's kisses, the raw need he felt only served to heighten his own. He responded in kind, and his world and its logic and restraint lay forgotten as they explored each other's' mouths, their tongues intertwining with an urgency that neither one of them realized they had.

 _I don't care if it's wrong; it probably is. But I want to show you, Ryousuke-san. Oh God, I want to show you._

Ryousuke's senses were reeling now. 'My God,' was the only thought his brain managed to produce. Fujiwara was amazing. This _had_ to be the person who gave out that unbelievably strong aura on the street, the mental and physical toughness needed to be a fierce competitor. As they kissed, Ryousuke hungrily took what Fujiwara was giving. _This_ was the Fujiwara he had always dreamed about getting close to. This feeling, unbridled and instinctual, with no logical basis, was the one thing that appealed to him more than anything else ever had.

This was what it was like when a person allowed himself simply just to feel. How could he deserve a person like this? How could Ryousuke take Fujiwara's passion, when he knew that it would likely disappear as suddenly as it arrived? It was Ryousuke's selfish game that had brought them together with D, Ryousuke's desire, Ryousuke's need for Fujiwara's technique, that perfect example of his theory in its purest form. It had always been on Ryousuke's terms. Selfish. And now, he wanted Fujiwara to give him more. Always _more_.

"Fujiwara," he breathed between heated kisses, "Having you be a part of Project D was my selfish game."

Ryousuke knew Fujiwara was listening, but he didn't speak; he only continued to stir Ryousuke's passion more than anyone else ever had. Fujiwara's mouth, his tongue, his hands which Ryousuke realized were kneading his arms, his chest, bringing him to a point of desperation.

That was it. Ryousuke was beyond logic now, danger be damned, his body taking charge of his mind. He assaulted Fujiwara's mouth, nipping his bottom lip which caused the younger man to gasp. He threaded his hands with Fujiwara's hair once again, and tugged firmly, showing his Ace that he was absolutely serious about the dangerous road he wanted to take.

A slight groan escaped Fujiwara's mouth which caused an immediate response from Ryousuke. There was no suppressing his arousal, and if he didn't stop, he wouldn't be able to, and he didn't want to stop either. He had to ask. He had to make another brutally selfish request of the amazing young man before him.

He moved away from Fujiwara's mouth, nibbling on his jaw, his neck, his earlobe, drinking in the barely stifled responses of the other. He lowered a hand to Fujiwara's thigh and squeezed as he moved to whisper into his ear.

"Fujiwara," he rasped between teasing tugs with his teeth on the sweet skin of an earlobe. "I'm going to ask you to allow me to be selfish again."

"Ryousuke...san..."

 _What do I do? Why don't I want to stop? I should be wanting to stop, shouldn't I? But I don't. This is not like it was with Mogi. This is...oh my God, this feels...right._

"Spend the night with me," Ryousuke whispered. "Please..."

Ryousuke pulled away slightly to look at Fujiwara's face. He looked nervous, and Ryousuke kissed him tenderly, lightly, both asking him and reassuring him. God, he needed him to say yes.

Fujiwara nodded once, with a serious look in his eyes that matched Ryousuke's intent.

Ryousuke kissed him passionately once more, and, as he did, he deftly started the engine of the FC without looking.


	11. Chapter 11

Streets of Maebashi. Saturday, 12:25 AM.

Ryousuke sped out of the lot and drove down the familiar streets in the FC, with Fujiwara sitting as still as a statue in the navi-seat. He could feel eyes on him as he guided the car through the gears, the familiar motion of shift work and throttle calming his frayed nerves. He wanted a cigarette, or maybe another drink. Maybe both. He was still in a fair bit of shock, but he didn't want to show it. Right now, all he wanted to do was get to his destination, but the silence was killing him. He turned on the radio.

That seemed to lighten the atmosphere slightly, and, out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Fujiwara was now staring out the window as Ryousuke drove the car through streets nearly devoid of traffic.

"Ryousuke-san..."

"What is it, Fujiwara?" Ryousuke responded, hoping that the younger man hadn't decided he wanted to be taken home after all. But, if he did ask, Ryousuke would do it without question. This wasn't planned; this wasn't supposed to have happened at all. His own age relative to Fujiwara's would usually mean that, of the two, he probably had more experience, but, again, he honestly had no idea. The drive was helping to even out his thoughts, but he still selfishly did not want to turn back to Shibukawa now.

"Where are we going?"

Ryousuke smiled to himself, relieved that Fujiwara didn't ask him to turn the FC back around. "You could call it my second home, I guess."

Fujiwara turned to look at him. "Second home," he repeated.

"Yeah. I have a small apartment near the Gundai campus, though I rarely use it. My Father bought it because he thought it would be better for me to live closer to school instead of driving from Takasaki nearly every day."

"Oh? I thought you lived with Keisuke-san," Fujiwara said quietly, confused.

"That's our family home, Fujiwara."

"Oh."

Ryousuke stole a glance toward his passenger. It seemed like his explanation was not adequate. "I only use the apartment when I have a late clinical followed by an early lecture. Otherwise, I have my reasons for staying at my Father's house."

"Ah." Perhaps Fujiwara understood, and perhaps he didn't. At times, Ryousuke didn't understand it himself.

Ryousuke continued to cruise down the familiar streets, past stuffy halls and dingy student housing until he approached the lone high rise on the street which housed his second home. He glanced over again to the navi-seat from out of the corner of his eye, and the young man seemed to go wide-eyed as they approached the building.

 _This is what he calls a small apartment? What did I expect? Some cheap hotel or something? Yeah, right. What the hell am I about to do? I'm spending the night. With Ryousuke-san. Alone. In his not-small, small apartment. I'm...nervous. How could he want this?_

Ryousuke pulled into the underground car park, and stopped the FC at the small security guard shack.

"I need to get my parking card out of the glove box," he said by way of explanation as he saw a slight startle from Fujiwara as he reached across him. 'He's nervous. What the hell are you going to do about it, Takahashi?'

"Oh."

 _I'm being an idiot. I started this, whatever this is_.

Ryousuke flashed the parking pass at the mostly asleep security guard, and the gate was lifted for the FC. He weaved the RX-7 effortlessly through the structure, feeling Fujiwara's eyes upon him the whole time. He arrived at his parking space and cut the engine.

He sat still for a moment. This was the dangerous threshold, and Ryousuke wondered if he dared actually to cross it.

"Are you sure, Fujiwara?" he asked quietly.

The question was answered by the younger one opening the door and alighting from the FC. He stood outside, waiting for Ryousuke to do the same.

Ryousuke half smiled, and shook his head lightly as he opened the car door. Maybe Fujiwara wasn't all that nervous after all. That thought was incredibly exciting. 'You are always surprising me...Takumi,' he thought as he reached into the backseat for Fujiwara's backpack, grabbed it, and exited the car himself.

He walked over to the passenger side of the car where Fujiwara was standing. "Your...'stuff'," Ryousuke said with a smile, seeing that Fujiwara appeared to be only slightly uncomfortable. Takumi blushed a little, and took the backpack. 'He's beautiful,' Ryousuke thought, as he barely tried to conceal his admiration for how handsome Fujiwara looked, and he didn't push the thought away this time. Oh, he knew there would be a royal mess of unintended consequences later for what he was about to do, but, he found that he just didn't care about that as much as he should. He had finally been shown that fierce, instinctual side of Fujiwara, and he wanted more of it; even if it was only for one night.

"Thanks," Fujiwara whispered.

"Shall we go up then?" Ryousuke asked seriously, motioning toward an elevator nearby.

Takumi nodded, and followed Ryousuke as they approached the elevator. He watched as the man selected a key from his key ring and put it in the slot, calling the elevator to the floor. A few seconds later, it arrived and they both entered. He pushed the button for the ninth floor. For a second home that Ryousuke said he rarely used, Takumi thought this place was straight out of a TV show or movie. He knew that Ryousuke was wealthy, but, this was just ridiculous. Takumi started to feel incredibly inferior again. Did he really belong here? No way. This was like some kind of weird dream he had allowed to creep into reality.

He had been relieved when Ryousuke had said he wasn't angry. He had been startled when Ryousuke had kissed him of his own accord. Once that had happened, had been bold enough to show Ryousuke what he felt, forgetting Mika-chan, forgetting everything, desperately wanting to show to his mentor that he wouldn't run away from any challenge, that he didn't _want_ to run away.

Or, had he just been crazy?

 _I have completely lost my mind. And I don't even care. I'm here. With him._

Once the elevator paused, Takumi followed Ryousuke down the corridor. Once again, a key was selected from the key ring, and he unlocked a door, flipped on a light, and proceeded to enter some numbers on a small control panel which Takumi assumed was a burglar alarm. Ryousuke closed and locked the door behind them, and reset the alarm.

"He we are. You want a drink?" Ryousuke asked, trying to keep his tone as casual as possible, as he toed off his shoes, replacing them with house slippers. He stepped up into the apartment, turning on a small lamp. Takumi followed him, glancing curiously around. The apartment was sparsely furnished, but everything in it had function. One sofa, one coffee table, one chair, a table and two chairs for dining, and a small television and radio. This place was nice. Naturally, there was a chair pulled up to a larger table, presumably Ryousuke's desk, set by a sliding door that appeared to be an exit to a balcony outside. It had a laptop and some books on it. Takumi wondered just how many laptops Ryousuke actually owned.

 _Small apartment, my ass. This place is bigger than my house_.

"Fujiwara?" Ryousuke asked.

"Uh, sorry. I'll have some water, if you have it," he stammered.

 _Dumbass._

"All right. I know this place isn't really all that great, but, try and make yourself comfortable."

"Okay," Fujiwara quietly replied, and Ryousuke saw him find his way to the sofa, leaving his backpack beside it as he sat down. No matter how much Ryousuke downplayed its comfort, Takumi thought the place was as cool as its owner. He actually began to relax.

Ryousuke entered the kitchen and got two mineral waters out of the fridge. He emptied his pockets, setting their contents on the counter. He looked at his cell phone. He picked it up, and turned it off. 'Sorry, Keisuke. No interruptions,' he thought. He knew he was probably going to have a little, or, a _lot_ of explaining to do, but oh well. It was Keisuke's own suggestion that he live a little anyway, but Ryousuke knew this was definitely not what his otouto had in mind. Not in a million years. But, Ryousuke had seen the side of Fujiwara he had always wanted to see, and, though it was incredibly selfish, he needed more.

Ryousuke returned to the living room and sat down, handing Fujiwara his water. "Here."

"Thanks." Fujiwara opened the bottle and took a drink, and Ryousuke did the same. They set their bottles down on the table and sat.

"Fujiwara," Ryousuke began.

"I don't really know what I'm doing here, Ryousuke-san," Takumi blurted out.

 _Idiot!_

Ryousuke smirked with a soft chuckle, reclined on the sofa, and crossed his legs as he raised a hand in a seconds long massage to his temple . "Hmm. That makes two of us."

 _What did he say? Okay. Cool. I'm only half a dumbass_.

"We can go, Fujiwara. It's all right," Ryousuke began quietly, turning his gaze away from the younger man. "You don't need to indulge me like this. I told you, it was a selfish request. You could say...that I got caught up in the moment."

 _Indulge him? Me? Indulge Ryousuke-san?_

Ryousuke watched his companion from out of the corner of his eye again. He could see that he was considering his statement. Damn.

"I don't want to leave," came the hushed reply. Another beautiful surprise.

Ryousuke smiled. "Good," he said, turning to face him. "I don't want you to either."

Ryousuke put his hand on Fujiwara's shoulder, and watched him close his eyes at the touch. "You always amaze me...Takumi."

Fujiwara opened his eyes immediately at the sound of his given name. It sounded so wonderful coming from his mentor, this incredible guy who just said that he, _he_ , amazed him. It was if he had heard his name for the first time.

"You've never called me that before," Takumi whispered.

"I never allowed myself the chance," Ryousuke replied, leaning in for a light kiss on Takumi's mouth.

 _He did it again. He wants this. He wants...me? Do I really want this? Idiot. I've thought about it. As much as I hate to admit it to myself, I've done more than think about it._

To Ryousuke's delight, Takumi began to respond to the kiss, pushing back with his closed mouth in slow, rhythmic kisses of his own. Ryousuke teased Takumi's lips with his tongue, wanting to coax his protégé into accepting his advance, to bring out the passion he had felt from him before when they were in the FC. It didn't take but a second for Takumi to allow it, and, once again, the two were joined in a feverish kiss, raw and urgent.

'Incredible,' Ryousuke thought. His body was reacting immediately, and there didn't seem to be a need to stop it anymore. He left Takumi's mouth and kissed his chin, his jawline, his neck, squeezing his thigh with his right hand as he raked his left hand through Takumi's hair. He tugged insistently, and Takumi assertively claimed Ryousuke's lips again. Takumi then pulled back slightly, his lips swollen, and a deep blush on his cheeks. Ryousuke allowed the lapse, tracing a flushed cheek with a single finger. He said nothing, allowing Takumi to fully grasp the nature of the destination to which their bodies were rapidly taking them.

 _I can't stop this now. My God, I don't want to stop. What should I do for him? I need him to show me. Show me, Ryousuke-san. Please_.

Takumi seemed to come to a decision. He kissed Ryousuke again, a bit more tenderly, his tongue gently rolling over Ryousuke's, in an exploration of sensation. That was pleasing too. There was such depth to him, much more than Ryousuke had ever dared to imagine when he had allowed himself his reckless thoughts about his young downhiller. Takumi's hands were on Ryousuke's chest, tentatively at first, then more insistent when he heard a sigh escape his mentor's mouth. Ryousuke had the passing thought that, perhaps, the younger man had more experience than his shy nature might lead someone to believe.

Or maybe, it was just his incredible learning curve, his automatic absorption of everything he experienced. Judging by his initial responses in the FC however, Ryousuke didn't quite think he had been with another man before, but it was clear that Takumi knew enough to know where this was going.

Ryousuke continued to kiss Takumi, but, despite his own body's urging, he wondered just how far he would let him go. It had been so many months since Ryousuke had allowed himself to give in to his desires, that his body was much further ahead of where his mind wanted it to be. He was well aware that Takumi might recoil at any time, but his own need was rapidly approaching the point that, if such a thing occurred, it might be more than he could bear. He had to slow down and take his time, his only concern now was the pleasure of the amazing person who had allowed him to reawaken feeling, desire, passion, want. The danger zone was all around him now, but it wasn't as though he arrived at this point alone.

Ryousuke placed his hands on Takumi's chest and gently moved him onto his back. He moved over the younger man, taking in the sight of him, his face, his eyes, his neck. They locked eyes for a moment, and Takumi was searching for something with his gaze.

 _Oh God, how? How?_.

"What is it, Takumi?" Ryousuke breathed as he moved to gently suck on the graceful neck, the skin turning pink from the attention of his mouth.

"I...I'm not sure I know..." he gasped as Ryousuke tugged on his earlobe with his teeth and let his tongue trail down the edge of it. "What to do.."

 _Show me!_

Ryousuke lowered his body onto Takumi, pressing his thigh between his legs. Ryousuke discovered arousal, and it caused his own breath to hitch with anticipation. Takumi was incredibly hard; he shuddered with the sensation of the pressure, and a deeper blush came to his cheeks. Before saying a word, Ryousuke touched Takumi's face with his hands, and kissed him lightly.

"I'll do everything."

 _Oh, dear God._

A slight look of relief passed over Takumi's face, and he raised himself at the elbows, leaning his head to deeply kiss his mentor, which caused Ryousuke to moan slightly into his mouth, and to lower Takumi back down fully onto the sofa. His Ace kept kissing him eagerly, desperately, and Ryousuke was losing himself in the feeling of Takumi's insistent exploration of his mouth and the feeling of the young driver's erection on his thigh. He began to undo the buttons of Takumi's shirt as they kissed. He tugged on his t-shirt, un-tucked it, and ran his hand under it, tracing his ribcage, his sternum; he brushed his fingers past a nipple, which caused another fleeting gasp from Takumi. The feeling of such soft skin on his fingertips was an ecstasy Ryousuke was not immediately prepared for. He lowered his head onto Takumi's chest as he continued to sample the younger man's skin with his hand. Takumi's heartbeat was fast and rhythmic, and Ryousuke found that his own heart rate was rising to equal it, and his body began to ache for contact.

Ryousuke shifted his body and pressed his own arousal onto Takumi's groin. Takumi's chest heaved, and his eyes widened. Once again, he was searching.

"I need to see you," Ryousuke whispered.

 _He needs...to see me..._

Takumi swallowed hard. Ryousuke kissed him tenderly, reassuringly, as he pulled the younger man up by the shoulders, easing him back into a seated position. He touched his face, the warmth of Takumi's flushed cheeks having the unpredictable effect of sending a chill of anticipation that coursed through him amid the heat of his own desire.

He continued to place short chaste kisses on Takumi's mouth as he unfastened the remaining buttons on his shirt. He gently pushed it off Takumi's shoulders and off, and cast it aside. By tracing with his hands, he could vaguely determine the contours of Takumi's chest through the trademark t-shirt in which he was still clothed. As he did so, he felt Takumi's body begin to shake slightly.

"Ryou...suke..." Takumi whispered between the feathery kisses he was receiving.

The sound of his name spoken in the familiar had an intoxicating effect. He wanted to take in Takumi's entire being, the physical, the intuitive, the _everything_. He wanted to touch Takumi's skin, was aching to feel its warmth against his own, but he could tell that Takumi was becoming apprehensive again. He needed to do something, to say something, that would spark the unbridled intensity he always knew somehow that the younger man possessed. He couldn't bear to wait much longer; he would bring Takumi's desire to the same level as his own, and Ryousuke would use his own body to learn everything about this person that had captivated him since the first time he saw the younger man drive.

Their lips met again, hard, tongues in battle, which caused Takumi to emit a moan that sent an exhilarating rush through Ryousuke. He sighed and moved his mouth to his Ace's ear once more.

"This offending t-shirt," he whispered huskily, "is in my way."

Ryousuke pulled back a little, looking into the deep hazel of Takumi's eyes. It was a challenge, and he hoped that the suggestive, yet truthful, remark would make the younger man become bold again. As expected, Ryousuke saw that Takumi had the determined look in his eyes once more, the look that signified that he was definitely not going to run away. With a trace of a renewed blush on his cheeks, but without wavering in his gaze, Takumi removed his own shirt and Ryousuke took in the sight of a body that was nothing less than what could only be thought of as youthful perfection. 'He's gorgeous.'

Ryousuke immediately pushed Takumi down again, hungrily exploring the bared chest and ribcage with his mouth and hands. The younger man's breathing was rapid, and he ventured to raise his hands to Ryousuke's sides, his back, traversing them across the taut, slender expanse. Ryousuke had the pleasing sensation of Takumi's firm grip on his body, the perfect pressure, the perfect intent. He thought that Takumi's instinct in this situation might be in league with his instinct behind the wheel.

 _Am I doing this right? Dear God, I hope I am..._

Ryousuke's breathing was irregular, and thoughts were disorganized and muddled in the sheer feeling of Takumi's embracing touch. The danger zone was evolving.

"I knew you would drive me crazy," Ryousuke whispered, kissing Takumi's mouth again, his own urgency taking over.

 _I'm...I'm? Driving HIM crazy?_

Ryousuke pressed his groin into Takumi again, establishing the rhythm his erection was demanding. Takumi inhaled sharply, feeling his pants grow excruciatingly tight as he began to ache with pained pleasure from the movement. Takumi placed his hands on Ryousuke's shoulders, pushing lightly, trying to raise the man from his chest. A flash of concern went through Ryosuke's mind. 'Oh, dear Lord. Don't make me stop _now_ , Takumi!' he thought wildly, raising himself, staring hard at the younger man and meeting Takumi's gaze.

Takumi never let his eyes leave Ryosuke's as he moved his hands to Ryousuke's chest. His eyes were so penetrating, that Takumi felt anew those feelings he had always had about the person he admired. There was so much he could learn, so much he could see in those eyes. A fair amount of intimidation, kindness, concern, ferocity, and, best of all, approval; he had seen small glimpses at times of all of these things in the eyes of the handsome older man. And now, he wanted nothing more than to see desire, Ryousuke's desire for him.

Ryousuke experienced another beautiful surprise.

He had thought Takumi was trying to push him away, but he was wrong. As they stared at each other, Takumi moved his hands and started to unbutton Ryousuke's shirt, slowly, but with no apparent hesitation. The action was understood, and his concern immediately disappeared. Ryousuke closed his eyes, and allowed Takumi to take his time, though his body was begging for the young driver to hurry.

He opened his eyes to find that Takumi's stare was unwavering. Deep. Searching again.

"What do you want, Takumi?" Ryousuke whispered, barely able to keep control as Takumi moved the shirt down the length of Ryousuke's arms, the feeling of the silk fabric teasing every single nerve ending as it slipped down to his wrists, and he pulled his arms out of the sleeves one at a time.

Takumi didn't answer, but his eyes began to wander, taking in everything he now saw before him. Ryousuke had a slighter build than he did, slender and lithe, but there was a subtle strength he could sense about the older man that was incredibly exciting, more exciting than his awkward and clumsy night spent with Mogi had ever had a prayer of being. Even with Mika, who he definitely liked, a lot, Takumi couldn't imagine that if he were to be intimate with her, that it would feel anything remotely like this. He should be feeling guilty about what he was doing, but, what was happening with Ryousuke was, somehow, separate, though he didn't understand the "why"of that. It was far from rational, but Takumi had never thought of himself as much of a thinker. In the past, thinking had only served to complicate things, and it had made them even harder to understand.

However, it was Ryousuke who had not only guided Takumi to trust his instincts, but also to add logic and reason and theory to fortify them. But the crushing need that Ryousuke provoked in him...where was that logic now? This Ryousuke, here, now, looked like he had the very thing Takumi had searched for in his eyes moments before. He _was_ desire, personified. He thought no one else would ever compare. He was elegant in everything he did; his impeccable taste, his technique behind the wheel. But, seeing his mentor in his own skin, Takumi was overwhelmed. This was what he imagined perfection might look like if it had human form. At last, he knew he wanted to answer Ryosuke's question aloud with the same request he had been making in his thoughts all along.

"Show me... everything, ...Ryousuke."

That was all Ryousuke needed to hear to know that Takumi's intent was to drive further into the danger zone with him. He trailed his hand down Takumi's exposed upper body, watching it rise and fall as he did. He traced Takumi's navel with a finger, and the younger man closed his eyes at the new sensation. He took in the amazing sight. He wasn't supposed to let it get this far. He wasn't supposed to do anything outside of his family's expectations. How dreadfully inappropriate this was. Keisuke was going to have an incredibly hard time with this; perhaps, he may never forgive him for it. Fumihiro warned him, and what he was feeling now had the echo of his feelings toward Kaori that he'd never wanted to have and lose again. These thoughts came in a final, feeble attempt to resurrect his restraint before taking himself and this amazing person with him to a place that would forever define a time "before" and a time "after" for them both. He took a deep breath. Decision made.

'I'm going straight to hell and I don't even care.'


	12. Chapter 12

Near Gundai Campus, Early Saturday.

Ryousuke had nothing on his mind now but the beautiful young man he was touching, having decided that he was already way beyond doubt, danger zone be damned. It was now time to move past any sort of simulation toward carefully planned action to get out of his young driver the exact responses he desired.

Takumi's eyes were still closed, as if sight was some kind of distraction from the physical sensation of touch. Ryousuke smirked a little. 'Well, he does drive with his lights off,' he thought, now constantly in a state of amazement with Takumi, this person who had such purity of feeling. Although Ryousuke knew it was he who had been the mentor figure for the younger man, there was nothing more that Ryousuke wanted to do than to worship the body of the incredible person under him.

He leaned down, and brushed his lips over Takumi's, trying to get him to open his eyes. When they fluttered open, Ryousuke looked seriously into them. "I think you're amazing," he began softly, letting his hand travel down the rising and falling chest again. Takumi blushed when he felt Ryousuke's hand reach the waistband of his pants, dangerously close to his arousal. "And I want all of you," he finished, tugging slightly on the waistband as he spoke.

 _Oh God_.

Ryousuke watched as Takumi's eyes rolled back and closed again. Perfect. It was just the reaction he had hoped to see. He slid his hand between fabric and skin, feeling the heat Takumi's body was producing. He studied the face of his downhiller; he wanted to observe his response to everything. Watching him was something akin to torture for Ryousuke's own impatient body, but, he knew he may never again have the chance to do this. This intensity of feeling, of desire...had he ever felt this passionate in the past? He didn't think so. With Kaori, he certainly felt passion, but the fact remained that things never got that far with her, not physically anyway. He'd had others in his bed, but they simply paled in comparison to this. He wanted to savor every moment with Takumi, more so than with anyone he'd ever had before, and that notion was both exhilarating and painful to consider. But, he didn't want to think about that now. All he wanted was to experience Takumi to whatever limit the younger man would allow, and, judging by his reactions, Takumi was fully aware of what he desired.

Ryousuke wanted to claim his lips again. He leaned down, and kissed Takumi, parting the younger man's lips with his tongue, probing more deeply than he had before. Takumi moaned softly, and Ryousuke tugged, more insistently this time, on the waistband. The tightening of the fabric so close to his erection caused Takumi to break the kiss and throw his head back a little, an expression of anxious pleasure on his handsome face. 'So beautiful...'

Ryousuke trailed kisses down Takumi's chest, glancing his nipples with his tongue as he went, which elicited wonderfully sharp intakes of breath and slight shudders of his body. Takumi opened his eyes, and brought a hand around Ryousuke's neck, pulling his mentor to his mouth once again for a feverishly demanding kiss. Ryousuke let him take charge of it, and it was incredible. He heard a low sigh escape his own mouth, and, to his surprise, Takumi raised his hips, as if asking him to tug on his pants again. As they kissed, he gave Takumi what he thought he was asking for; Takumi gasped, which threatened to send Ryousuke over the edge. He was trying so hard to take things slowly, but Takumi's reactions were adding fuel to his own desire, and it was all he could do to restrain his pace.

Ryousuke needed him. Now.

He moved his hand again, and unfastened Takumi's pants, watching the young man's face the whole time. His perfectly formed chest was heaving, his eyes were tightly closed, and his mouth was slightly open, the blush on his cheeks growing crimson as he began to comprehend what Ryousuke was doing.

Ryousuke slowly lowered the zipper of Takumi's pants, and returned to Takumi's mouth, kissing him tenderly. This was reassurance, and Takumi accepted it, giving over to the pace that Ryousuke had dictated with his slowly moving tongue. Gently, Ryousuke moved his hand and touched Takumi's erection, holding him, his shorts still a barrier between his body and Ryousuke's hand. Ryousuke squeezed his length lightly as they continued to kiss.

"Takumi," Ryousuke breathed between his slow kisses and gentle strokes, "you're incredible..."

Takumi was trembling again, but Ryousuke didn't think it was apprehension this time. Now that he'd gone this far down the course, his own body was almost painful with want, but there was so much he wanted to do for Takumi before he would allow himself a release of his own. Decision made.

 _Ryousuke...please...don't stop this..._

Ryousuke used his teeth and tongue to bring Takumi's attention to his ear. "Bedroom..." he whispered, "...now."

Takumi nodded slowly. Ryousuke reluctantly removed his hand, and pulled the younger man up, continuing to plant reassuringly chaste kisses on his mouth. He brought his slightly shorter protégé into an embrace as they stood, savoring the contact of their exposed chests. He kissed his hair, and gently massaged his lower back. Takumi's body was extraordinary, sculpted with youthful definition, the reality of it more wonderful than any mental image Ryousuke could have produced all those times when he forced himself to push the thoughts away. Takumi tentatively returned the embrace with his own arms, and they stood together for a brief moment. Ryousuke pulled back, and, without a word, led Takumi to his bedroom. 'How can he let me be this selfish,' Ryousuke thought, despite Takumi's pleasure laced responses to their kisses and touches.

He opened the door and the two of them stepped inside. Ryousuke drew his Ace close, and kissed him on the forehead. "Takumi..."

Takumi looked up, his eyes wide with anticipation, and, perhaps, a little trepidation. "You are too good for me," Ryousuke said, and he meant it.

 _What?!_

He opened his mouth to protest, but Ryousuke kissed him before he had the chance. Takumi's knees felt weak as Ryousuke pressed his body into him. He could feel his cheeks heating rapidly as his mentor's firm arousal rubbed against his own. He gasped into the kiss. Ryousuke moved his hands to Takumi's pants, his mouth never leaving the younger man, constantly checking to make sure he wasn't going faster than Takumi could handle.

He was just about to slide the pants down when he felt hands on his. He broke the kiss and opened his eyes to find that Takumi's were open also. The determined look was there. 'Unbelievable,' Ryousuke thought as he felt Takumi's hands take his and push the slacks and boxer shorts off his hips. Ryousuke kissed Takumi deeply, hoping the younger man would take the gesture as his obvious approval of the action. He reached with his right hand and gently held Takumi's length, exploring it with his fingers. He was already moist at the tip, and Ryousuke longed to taste him. Takumi's flesh was deliciously hard and hot, and his breaths were shallow and short.

Ryousuke didn't want to wait anymore.

He left Takumi's mouth, and his lips traversed neck, collarbone, chest, his hands now placed firmly on the younger's hips as he moved lower, lower. He sensed Takumi's body tense up. "Let me."

 _Oh God. What is he doing? Oh God._

It was not a request.

Ryousuke knew he should take it slowly, but the desire to pleasure his protégé took over as he took him into his mouth.

"Ah...oh...Ryou..oh...!" Takumi breathed, the incoherent utterance bringing such elation to Ryousuke upon its hearing. The younger man was shaking, and Ryousuke found he had to place a tighter hold on his hips to steady him. 'Perfect,' he thought again, 'just perfect.'

 _Ryousuke...is...he's...it's so...oh...I won't hold out if he does this...does he know that? Oh...God..._

Ryousuke was caressing Takumi's arousal with his mouth, slowly licking and gently sucking. He was beautiful to taste, beautiful to consume. When he thought Takumi was steady enough, he brought a hand to stroke him as his pleasured him with his mouth, slowly, deeply. Takumi couldn't help but respond with more incoherent non-words and fantastically irregular breaths. Ryousuke felt the knees of his downhiller buckle a bit. He released him from his mouth and hand, which caused a whimper in response to the sudden absence. Ryousuke stood again, and captured Takumi in another embrace.

"Don't worry. I'm not finished..." he whispered, sucking on Takumi's earlobe. As he moved to nibble on his chin, he saw those hazel eyes grow wide again. He had to be close already. 'Damn. I could do that forever, but he can't,' Ryousuke thought.

 _Shit! I need to tell him I can't hold on...if he does that again, I'm definitely going to lose it!_

"Ryou..."

"Shh..." Ryousuke whispered in his ear, and he stopped Takumi from saying whatever warning or cautionary statement he was trying to articulate with an index finger to the young driver's lips. "I don't care..."

Ryousuke took Takumi's hands and, kissing him lightly, directed him toward his bed. He moved forward, pulled back the covers and gently lowered Takumi down onto the pillows. "I told you to let me," he said softly, as he abandoned his slippers and joined him, positioning himself over the younger man. Seeing a barely-there nod from Takumi, Ryousuke smiled. Good.

Ryousuke kissed him, moving a hand to gently touch him once again. Takumi breathed in sharply, and Ryousuke could feel that his length was throbbing slightly. Wonderful. He moved down the strong body beneath and took him once again into his mouth, and he was rewarded by an involuntary bucking of Takumi's hips.

Ryousuke selfishly wanted to prolong the pleasure that he derived from the caressing of Takumi's body, alternating his ministrations between his mouth and his hand. But he knew, though it was obvious the young man was trying to, that Takumi couldn't hold on much longer. He wanted him out of control; he wanted him to let go. When he could tell that Takumi was lost in feeling, Ryousuke subtly reached for his nightstand and opened the single drawer, quietly, hoping the items he was looking for were still there. Finding what he needed, he returned his mouth to Takumi's length, discovering that it had become even harder than it had been a moment ago. He was so close, and Ryousuke decided his own body would have to wait a little bit more. The notion was agonizing, but he wanted to give Takumi a release as beautiful as the young man was himself.

He continued to draw Takumi into his mouth, gently cupping the heaviness of him with his hand. Taking glances upward, he was enthralled with the sight of Takumi's pleasure; it was obvious in the beautifully contorted expression on his face. He wasn't going to last long, but that was more than all right. Takumi was wonderfully distracted now, in his own world, and Ryousuke felt his own arousal strain in response to the view before him. With his other hand, he was warming the bottle of lubricant brought out from the drawer. Feeling the urgency of Takumi's erection, he released the gentle grasp of his hand to hold himself over the young man, and, with the other, he uncapped the small bottle and moistened his fingers.

He resumed stroking Takumi, sucking him a bit more urgently. Takumi started to rhythmically push into Ryousuke's mouth, searching for his release. Ryousuke moved his moistened fingers to trace the outside of his entrance.

 _Oh...oh! What...is...he...doing?_

Takumi froze at the touch, and Ryousuke slowed the tempo of his mouth a bit, placing a reassuring squeeze on the younger man's hip. He gently moved a single finger inside, pulsing it lightly.

 _Holy...oh, God. I can't hold back...I won't be able to at all!_

He could hear Takumi gasping; short, urgent rasps that were driving Ryousuke crazy. He needed to bring him. He needed to taste him. He pushed another finger inside, slowly deepening the penetration.

Takumi's hips rose again, and Ryousuke took his beautiful size as deeply as he could into his mouth, sucking hard, begging for Takumi to let go.

Takumi felt his body move of it's own accord, and he thrust himself into Ryousuke's mouth. The presence of fingers inside him was unlike anything he had ever felt before, or imagined before. He could feel the pressure building in his groin, the hot and wet sensation of Ryousuke sucking him, touching him. It was too much. Too much.

"Ryousuke..." he breathed, "I'm..oh...I can't... _oh_!" he was nearly shouting, and the sound of Takumi's voice in ecstasy was all Ryousuke needed. He pushed his fingers in more deeply, searching for the one spot that would drive Takumi over the edge of his release. 'There.'

"OH!"

Takumi was trembling, his hips thrusting hard as he came, and Ryousuke held his fingers firmly inside of him, his other hand pushing down on Takumi's hip as he drank in the young man's orgasm. Incredible.

"Ryou...suke...," Takumi whispered among the ragged breaths of his release. Ryousuke slowly removed his fingers and his mouth, and moved to lay beside Takumi, a reassuring hand on his chest that had a wonderfully light sheen of perspiration upon it. Takumi was still shaking slightly; he was gorgeous. Ryousuke's body was telling him that he needed a release of his own as he discreetly cleaned his hands,but he wanted to let Takumi have the chance to recover a little. He had to make sure he was okay.

As he lay beside Takumi, he closed his eyes and pressed himself up against his young driver, his body willing to take even the slightest contact. When the sensation of Ryousuke's arousal registered in Takumi's brain, he turned to face his mentor, his breathing somewhat calmed.

 _What do I do? I can barely think. Idiot! I need to do something!_

Ryousuke then felt Takumi suddenly move, and he opened his eyes to find the gorgeous young man leaning over him. There were no words. Takumi crashed his lips down on his mentor, hard. 'My God,' Ryousuke thought as he felt the weight of Takumi's body come down to blanket him. He raised his hands, firmly kneading Takumi's back as he returned the kiss with equal energy. Takumi pulled back, his breathing irregular again, and Ryousuke found himself looking at eyes that had another question behind them.

"Ask."

Even in the darkness, the only dim light coming from the open door to the next room, Ryousuke could see that Takumi's cheeks were heating and he looked away a little.

"Can I...touch you...?" he whispered. Ryousuke inhaled sharply. He couldn't have begged for a better question than that. His body was aching; the thought alone of having Takumi's strong hands on him was enough to pain his erection further with want.

Takumi turned to look at Ryousuke again. His answer came with a nod and a gentle kiss. Ryousuke leaned back, and allowed his young lover to tentatively explore his chest, a hesitant finger passing over his nipple. He wanted to watch everything Takumi did, but watching him was becoming torturous. He finally had to close his eyes as he felt Takumi lightly pass a hand over his inner thigh.

The agony of allowing Takumi these furtive gestures was almost too much for him. He wanted his young driver to be comfortable, reassured. But, he had his limits, and Takumi was fast approaching them when he brushed his hand over Ryousuke's groin.

"If you want to, do it," Ryousuke said quietly, but insistently. A second later, he felt Takumi's hand on him again, more firmly this time. He couldn't prevent a sigh from escaping his mouth when Takumi squeezed his length through his pants.

'Finally.'

 _I'm touching him. There. Oh God what the hell do I do? He showed me! Why can't I think?! Idiot!_

Takumi continued to lightly massage Ryousuke, admiring him, taking him in with his eyes, wondering what he should do, what Ryousuke expected him to do. Ryousuke's body was so different from his own, and he never thought that seeing another man would be this exciting. But, this was Ryousuke. He had always felt flustered and nervous around him; the man had a presence, or charisma, as his friends always said. Amazingly, he felt his own desire begin to resurface.

Maybe that was the reason he had found himself in this situation, because he doubted he would feel this way about any other man at all. The pleasure he felt, the desire, the passion, all of these things had reached new heights, all because it was Ryousuke. His passing fantasies, the ones he tried to push away with thoughts of Mika in various stages of undress, those that had become more insistent as the battles of Project D intensified, held nothing in comparison to actually being this close to the man to whom he had always looked upon for approval. And now, that man had given him more pleasure than he had ever thought possible with another person, and Takumi wanted desperately to return that pleasure to him.

 _Ryousuke...I need you._

This was so much more than Ryousuke had ever expected. Being touched by the person who had intrigued him was its own ecstasy, but he did not want to wait anymore. He had to have him, and he hoped Takumi understood. He opened his eyes to find that Takumi had been watching his reactions just as he had watched the younger man before. The intensity of Takumi's eyes was astonishing. 'That's it.'

Ryousuke sat up and kissed Takumi, reluctantly moving his hand away from his arousal and holding his hand within his own, squeezing it. "I have to have you," he whispered. "Takumi, I need you."

Takumi accepted Ryousuke's statement, the words his mentor spoke the mirror of his own thoughts. He allowed himself to be lowered and found himself consumed again by Ryousuke's tender kisses. Amidst the physical want, Takumi wondered if he was being...loved.

Ryousuke had never enjoyed kissing another person the way he had enjoyed Takumi. Every meeting of their lips was a new discovery, a heated expression of some deeply buried feeling he had told himself he wasn't supposed to ever have. He wondered if this might be what it would feel like if he ever allowed himself to love the way he wanted to. Decision made. For one night, with this one person, he would love, and, if it all went away with the coming sunrise, he would at least be able to say he had it once.

He rose up and leaned back, positioning his legs on either side of the younger man. He opened his eyes and looked at his protégé. Takumi looked back with intensity, and, Ryousuke thought, understanding. He reached down and gently squeezed his shoulder, and trailed his hand down Takumi's body. He brought his hands to his pants, and began to unfasten them, keeping his eyes on that beautiful face the whole time, gauging his response, hoping desperately to be allowed to continue to be selfish.

As he began to bring his zipper down, he was delighted to see Takumi boldly reach up and place his hands over his. It was exhilarating to have Takumi's hands cover his own as he began to fully undress. He shifted his pants past his slender hips, and Takumi blushed, but did not look away. Ryousuke leaned down and, at excruciatingly long last, his arousal met with Takumi's soft skin.

The sensation was almost more than he could handle, the feeling of Takumi's body, already beginning to become hard again, was enough for Ryousuke to know that he would allow him to have him. But, Ryousuke knew it would cause him pain, and that thought alone was enough to make him hesitate slightly once more. 'He shouldn't be allowing me to do this.'

"Takumi…I-"

Takumi interrupted softly. "I want to."

Ryousuke exhaled a breath he didn't realize he was holding. The sound of Takumi's words sent a jolt to his heart, and to his aching body. He kissed his neck and chest, sucking lightly, as he removed the rest of his clothes. Takumi's breathing was labored, and Ryousuke moved to touch him again, which caused Takumi to tremble. He moved one leg between Takumi's legs and gently pushed one of them aside, and Takumi inhaled sharply once again. He covered the younger man with his body, gently pressing his arousal onto him, eliciting more unintelligible utterances from his protégé. His body was incredibly responsive, _sinfully_ beautiful. Ryousuke sucked on a nipple and it became instantly hard, and Takumi, instinctively, raised his hips in a perfect reaction to the touch.

Ryousuke's need was finally overtaking his patience, and he claimed Takumi's lips, deeply probing his mouth with his tongue, sucking on it, then moving to nibble on his lower lip. He pressed himself onto Takumi again, slipping his own length down a little, letting his body grace the younger man's entrance. The sensation was wonderful, this feeling he had been denying himself for too long, and Ryousuke found that his own instinct began to dictate his movements without thought, caution, or reason anymore.

 _Ryousuke…is this who you really are?_

Ryousuke knew he had to take it slowly, but the need to be inside Takumi's body was crushing him. He slid his hands down Takumi's ribcage, and followed with another tender suckling of his strengthening arousal. When Takumi responded with a slight arching of his back, Ryousuke reached once again to moisten his fingers with the lubricant, knowing he would have to prepare Takumi's body as best he could, but he wanted to do it quickly. His restraint was failing fully now, and he wanted nothing more than to bury himself inside that flawless body. The anticipation was agonizing.

He wanted to watch him. He had to watch him.

Ryousuke replaced his mouth with his left hand, gently stroking, encouraging Takumi's erection. He traced his entrance once again with the fingers of his other hand. Takumi's eyes were tightly shut, and he was alternately holding and releasing his breath in short bursts. Ryousuke pushed a finger inside, and he could feel the arousal grow in his other hand. Amazing.

He continued to slowly stroke him as he entered Takumi's body with his fingers, applying some pressure when he could feel his body open slightly to accommodate his touch. He continued moving his fingers, gently creating the space he would need. The tightness of him was astonishing, and Ryousuke could barely wait to feel the wonderful friction of it on his own body. Takumi responded to Ryousuke's moving fingers with chest heaving gasps. His eyes were clamped shut and his gorgeous face was serious, as if his mind was focused only on the new sensations he was feeling.

Ryousuke removed his fingers, still stroking Takumi's length gently. He then reached into his nightstand again, and grasped a condom. He palmed it, returning his mouth to the briefly neglected length which caused a renewed light thrusting of Takumi's hips. When he had his lover distracted with his mouth, he unwrapped the sheath. He released Takumi from his mouth, giving him one gentle stroke with his hand; he then moved his body up, kissing navel, hip, chest, chin, and, finally, his mouth once again. He slipped his arousal toward Takumi's entrance, lightly nudging him this time. His body was aching to push, to enter him, but he held himself back, keeping only the slightest of pressure on his protégé's body. Takumi was breathing irregularly through the kiss, and, Ryousuke could feel that he involuntarily recoiled a bit at as he felt his mentor's presence . Though he was doing an admirable job of concealing it, Ryousuke knew he had to be a little nervous, and perhaps, a little unsure. Ryousuke kissed his cheek, hot with a crimson hue that didn't require eyes to tell him was there.

 _I want this. Oh, God, Ryousuke, I want you. But..._

"I'll go slowly," he whispered huskily into Takumi's ear. As their heads touched, Ryousuke could discern a slight nod.

He would have to be gentle, but, although his body was begging for urgency, he wanted this night to be different than the other times, the ones that occasionally occurred for the release of his own tensions and lustful desires, or the ones hastily squeezed in between lectures, or after late night study groups before he would return to his Father's home. There was something about Takumi that brought out the tenderness Ryousuke had longed to feel for another person, something not shown to anyone he had been with before. The tenderness he might have saved for Tsugumi, or Kaori, he decided to give here. Now. His decision to take this night and love had been correct. Every fiber of his being was telling him so, his instinct having been awakened by a person who was ruled by feeling alone. Unlike Ryousuke, who had lived within the constraints of both the expectations of other people, and of his own logical and suppressive nature, Takumi was pure, unblemished, and uniquely...free.

Tonight, Ryousuke _would_ make love.

He kissed Takumi's neck, trying to relax him as he reached down for the bottle of lubricant, moistening his fingers once more. When he pushed this time, Takumi was slightly more relaxed, but Ryousuke was afraid it wouldn't be enough. He had to get him to open up. He pressed again, searching for the spot that had given Takumi his release. When he found it, Takumi gasped, and involuntarily opened his body.

Thinking this was as ready as Takumi would ever be, he kneeled back and used his other hand to reach for the condom. He slipped it on, the feeling of his own hand's contact making the anticipation of contact with Takumi's body more intense. He slicked his arousal with more lubricant and, guided himself toward Takumi's entrance. He pushed in slightly, and Takumi's body immediately tensed. Ryousuke leaned down and kissed him as he pushed in a bit further. He was so tight, and though Ryousuke had barely crossed his threshold, it was excruciatingly wonderful. 'My God,' Ryousuke thought as he continued to move forward, using his entire being to refrain from pushing too hard too soon.

He lay his head on Takumi's shoulder, planting light kisses where the collarbone met his neck, feeling the young man's wild heartbeat near to his own, and it was accompanied by subtle vibrations of the arousal Ryousuke could feel on his abdomen. He pushed a little more, and he could hear Takumi inhale sharply. Ryousuke raised his head, and he saw a fleeting wince of pain cross that beautiful face. 'Shit. I'm hurting him.'

Ryousuke lay a chaste kiss on Takumi's lips. He was still holding his breath; his eyes were squeezed shut. Maybe this was too much for him. Maybe Ryousuke had finally gone too far. He closed his own eyes and retreated slightly, the friction of the motion causing his body to painfully beg for the opposite. 'It's too much for him.' He was going to leave Takumi's body, but he stopped when he felt a firm hand on his forearm.

"Don't..." Takumi whispered hoarsely. Another beautiful surprise.

Ryousuke opened his eyes and saw that Takumi was absolutely serious. "Are you sure...?" Takumi didn't immediately answer, and Ryousuke was trying hard to conceal the agony he felt at being so close to claiming him, unable to go forward but being asked not to leave. It was a precarious feeling, his control hanging by a thin thread. He closed his eyes again, willing his body to remain still, and for his breathing to regulate.

The next sensation he felt was Takumi's tentative grasp of his hips. He opened his eyes, and then he felt Takumi gently pull his hips forward. A mix of relief and want came over him at the young man's permission. Ryousuke kissed him tenderly, allowing Takumi to guide his movement. He pushed himself inside once more. Oh God, he had to move. He couldn't keep stopping. The pressure on the head of his erection was almost unbearable. "Takumi...I..." was all he could manage to say, the hot, tight expanse of that gorgeous body overwhelming his senses.

Ryousuke felt Takumi pull him again. It was now or never, and Ryousuke chose now. He pushed into Takumi firmly, further than before, knowing it had to be causing pain, but giving into the need of his own desire. Takumi closed his eyes sharply, and Ryousuke could see him bite down on his lower lip, but he was bearing it. The feeling of Takumi's tight body was almost painful to Ryousuke himself, but the pleasure of being enveloped by his young protégé was exhilarating. He kissed Takumi's neck as he pulled back slightly, and penetrated him again, hearing more quick breaths in response. Ryousuke's body was dying for rhythm, and he finally felt that Takumi was relaxing a bit more. He pulled back and thrust in again, more insistently, more deeply, claiming Takumi's mouth in a slow reassuring kiss.

 _Trust him. Let him. God, it hurts, but I don't care. I want him there. Oh God, I want him to stay there._

Ryousuke continued his slow rhythm, his breaths becoming erratic as he explored Takumi's body with his own. He heard a low groan escape his mouth as Takumi slightly tilted his hips, meeting the gentle thrusts. He opened his eyes. Takumi's were closed again, in full concentration. He had a subtle sexiness to him that made Ryousuke overcome with passion. He pushed a little harder, and Takumi arched his back slightly, his right hand absently squeezing the bedclothes. 'God, he's so fucking hot.' Ryousuke continued moving at the same pace, his whole body responding to the delicious contact and to the sight of Takumi moving instinctively to join with him.

In this moment, and, perhaps, all along, he thought there was no one in the world more beautiful to him than was this young driver, and, he realized, no one else ever would be. Even when he raced, Ryousuke rarely had to get serious enough to pour his entire being into it. When he raced Takumi, he felt the rush, the excitement he had been missing, so much so that it rekindled his own fire and reawakened the pure feeling Ryousuke always had been forced to restrain in everything else he did. When he met Takumi, the seemingly shy teenager who was a force beyond his years behind the wheel, everything changed. Everything. Suddenly, leaving the sport became even less desirable, and the urge to experience the purity of feeling became painfully insistent. The same sensation was overtaking him now. He knew he shouldn't open himself to it, but as he continued to experience Takumi's body, the now rhythmic pulsing of the walls of it on his arousal, the guard he relied on to keep himself from allowing feeling had eroded away as the night was turning to dawn.

All he wanted to do was to pleasure Takumi, and the thought that he would be causing pain to this incredible creature caused a pang in his chest and his breath to hitch. It was Ryousuke who needed reassurance now, as his body began to demand that he increase his pace. He placed his left hand on the side of Takumi's head, running his fingers through his hair and tugging insistently as he cupped the side of his face, raising his head for another urgent meeting of their mouths. As he kissed him deeply, passionately, he moved his body in a few insistent, yet shallow, thrusts. Takumi's breath rasped with each one of them, and a low sigh escaped him when the kiss was broken. The sound of it was more than Ryousuke could take. He let his head fall to Takumi's chest and he grasped Takumi's hip firmly, pulling upward with intent as he continued in his shallow penetration. Takumi emitted a slight murmur of understanding.

The feeling of Ryousuke's urgent kiss conveyed the message to Takumi. Through the pain, he was beginning to feel the pleasure of Ryousuke's body, the sense of joining with the one man he always thought was a person not of this world, but from some other place he could never go. But, here he was, being taken there by Ryousuke, welcomed into his world, his body, and maybe, even if only for this fleeting night, his heart. He hesitantly pushed his hips, drawing Ryousuke deeper inside, and he finally felt more pleasure than pain as his mentor's strong length both filled and stretched his body. He could feel Ryousuke's hard desire, and Takumi found that his own erection began to throb with want once again.

Ryousuke began to increase his pace, feeling the response of Takumi's growing arousal straining against his body. 'So hot.' The perspiration began to gather at his temples and at the nape of his neck, as he thrust himself more passionately into Takumi's tight body. As he continued to grant his body's wish for urgency, he observed Takumi's every reaction: every twisted expression on his face, every arch of his back, the taut musculature of his arms as he fisted the bed sheets, the pillow, his own hair. Everything. It looked as though Takumi was finally feeling pleasure, and Ryousuke wanted to give him more. His own ecstasy was rapt with the intensity of the feeling of being inside, and his body longed for Takumi to come to his own breaking point once again. He looped his right arm around Takumi's thigh, guiding him slightly upward. He wanted to reach that place, to feel with his erection the quivering release he had felt with his fingers. He pressed down and, when he thought he had reached it, he pushed. Hard.

"OH...Ah...oh!" Takumi yelled, the unexpected volume of his voice encouraging Ryousuke to continue to prod him. The sound of Takumi lost in pleasure was like a drug, a drug that appeared to be instantly addictive at that. He could see that Takumi was now fully erect, his length weeping for attention. Without thinking, Ryousuke let go of Takumi's leg and reached for his lover's hand, bringing it down roughly with his own to the young man's length. Another desperate breath escaped Takumi at the sudden force of Ryousuke's gesture, and at the contact of his hand with Ryousuke's on his body. Lacing his fingers with Takumi's, he began to stroke him in rhythm to his own thrusts, bracing himself with his knees and his other arm as he thrust in with quick bursts of want, each one now flirting with Takumi's most inner depths.

Ryousuke's breaths were degrading into half-breaths, his groin feeling heavy, the sensitivity at its maximum. Hearing Takumi's pleasured moans, hearing his own; he knew he would come hard, and he wanted desperately to bring Takumi with him. The pressure of Takumi's hand on his as they stroked him increased, and Ryousuke could no longer hold back. His body wouldn't allow any more gentle touches. The raw sensuality of releasing into Takumi's perfect body, the desire; for the first time in his life, Ryousuke felt a passion unbridled and unrestrained, and he needed to show this one person the full force of that newly awakened feeling. He wanted Takumi on his back, displayed before him, the delicious sight of him feeding Ryousuke's need to come. He would do everything else.

Ryousuke had to get him to give up his hold on his hand so he could bring him as he brought himself. He abruptly let go of Takumi's erection, and heard a desperate outcry from the young man. He threw Takumi's arm back, and immediately gripped his length again tightly, a low groan escaping him as he heard Takumi sigh with renewed pleasure that Ryousuke had returned to him. Ryousuke continued to push, pulling Takumi's arousal with quick jerks designed to bring his lover up to his own level of eminent ecstasy.

Ryousuke thought Takumi was almost there; he was swollen and stiff, and the tantalizing moisture of his beautiful size was leaking from the tip and onto his fingers. The sight of Takumi before him, the scent of him, the everything of him... 'How can he be...this...fucking...hot?!' the wild thought barely expressed amidst his final urgent thrusts. He angled his over stimulated erection to touch Takumi's core, and he let his body take over. He pushed in hard, and felt Takumi's body quiver and clamp down on him, desperate, clinging, drawing him to his release. Ryousuke felt Takumi's arousal throb, and with a noise that was an erotic cross between a grunt and a gasp, Takumi came hard into his hand, his seed spurting in threads onto his stomach. Dear God.

The sight of the young man in release brought Ryousuke's want over the edge. He pulled back a little and pushed in again, deeply, feeling every contour of his lover's tight expanse as he buried himself to the hilt. A gasp. 'Not enough!' He wanted to hear Takumi cry out, maybe scream his name; he didn't know, he didn't care. But he would make him respond to his passion even if it killed him to try. He kept thrusting, passionately, deeply, feeling the hot flesh urgently coax him with its vice-like grip on his erection. He felt a churning in his groin, a feeling almost forgotten, not felt in all the time of his self-imposed absence from it. He pulled out almost completely, in an act of self-torture or maybe desperation, the sound of Takumi whining in agony his cue. His own body shaking, Ryousuke inhaled sharply, and drove himself home into his young lover, giving him everything he had, his own orgasm coming in waves of pleasure that was nothing like any pleasure he had experienced before.

"Ryou..suke…!" Takumi cried, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. Ryousuke collapsed onto Takumi's body, still hot and wet with Takumi's own release, and held onto his lover's body so tightly, as if he thought that holding him might make the powerful orgasm he was still riding out with continued short thrusts last forever. Both of them were trembling, both breathing hard, both unable and unwilling to immediately move.

As the moments passed, Ryousuke remained draped over Takumi's chest, his breath finally slowing enough for him to regain some modicum of coherence. Takumi's body was still shuddering slightly, still trembling, but he was gradually quieting himself. Ryousuke gently pulled out of him, and shifted his body to lay on his side, keeping his arm across Takumi's chest, not wanting to break physical contact. He saw another slight wince cross Takumi's face. His eyes were still closed, and Ryousuke was worried that he had been too rough, too insistent. He just couldn't help himself; Takumi was so sexy, so hot. He should have restrained himself, but his body simply would not allow it.

"Takumi," he began quietly, as he saw the trembling of the younger man cease fully. The only response he could discern was a nearly imperceptible breath. Shit.

Just when he was about to lightly shake Takumi out of whatever reverie in which he was now lost, Takumi turned his head and opened his eyes. Ryousuke was relieved. He didn't look angry, just a little tired. "Are you all right?" he whispered.

Takumi leaned in and kissed Ryousuke tenderly, lazily rolling his tongue inside Ryousuke's accepting mouth. When they parted, he whispered, "Yeah," and allowed himself to be pulled into a half embrace.

"Okay," Ryousuke replied, kissing him on the forehead. "I'll be right back, okay?" he said, not wanting to leave, but knowing he needed to. He wanted to take care of his lover, let him have a soothing shower, and let him sleep well into the morning. Takumi nodded and closed his eyes again. Ryousuke sighed, admiring the younger man's body anew as he climbed out of bed. 'No. He's spent. You're spent. Wash up. Get him washed up. Sleep. That's it. No more talk. No more...anything.''

He shook his head slightly, raking his hands once through his hair. He padded into the bathroom, and started the shower, getting the water hot for Takumi to give the younger man the chance to relax first. He cleaned himself a bit perfunctorily in the sink, cringing a little at a trace of blood he saw as he washed. Shit. It wasn't as if he didn't expect it, but, the sight of it gave him pause. 'Selfish,' he chided to himself. He only hoped that Takumi wasn't hurting too badly. He donned his yukata, setting another one out for the younger driver. He opened the closet and brought out a spare set of sheets so he could discreetly change them while Takumi bathed, and set a few bath towels aside for Takumi to use. He exited the bathroom; Takumi hadn't moved. Ryousuke walked out into the living room, and retrieved the backpack of...'stuff' with a little smirk. He didn't open the small bag, just brought it back into the bathroom, thinking that, somehow, Takumi might be more comfortable using his own personal things to freshen up. He pushed up the sleeve of his yukata and tested the water. Good.

He dried his hand, and returned to the bedroom, stopping for a moment to look at the angelic creature in his bed. Ryousuke couldn't stop himself from absently thinking that he wouldn't mind waking up to that every day if he only could.

'What the hell am I thinking?' he asked himself as he crouched down by the side of the bed, gently nudging Takumi who already seemed to be dozing off. "Takumi..."

Takumi turned to face him.

"You can take a shower. Use whatever you need, take as much time as you need."

Takumi nodded drowsily, and Ryousuke rose to help him out of bed. He put his hand on his protégé's shoulder and squeezed when Takumi finally stood. He led the young man to the bathroom and, once Takumi was inside, he closed the door softly behind him. He ran his hands through his still sweat-dampened hair once again, and removed the bed sheets from the bed. He put them in the laundry hamper in the closet, and closed the door. He put the new sheets on, and replaced the coverlet. 'Okay.'

He could hear that Takumi had stepped into the shower. 'Good.'

He exited the bedroom, and went to the kitchen, grabbing two fresh bottled waters out of the refrigerator. He turned to the counter, looking for his cigarettes. As he picked up his lighter, his hand brushed his cell phone. Undoubtedly, there would be messages, likely from Keisuke, and perhaps, from Fumihiro waiting for him. He looked at it for a moment, and left it where it was, electing to continue the escapism the night had provided. 'Not. Now.'

He heard the shower still running in the bathroom, so he placed one bottle of water on his desk and carried the other with him out to the partially enclosed balcony. The predawn air was cool, the heat of the late summer day not yet there. He lit a cigarette and stood at the railing, smoking, drinking the water, thinking.

What the hell had he just gotten himself into?

He'd had a few lovers before. The very few women he had dated had always felt neglected, reinforcing his fears of turning into his father. He didn't really desire a relationship with a woman, but that was what was expected, so he did try to make an effort occasionally. But, there was always an exam to prepare for, a class to attend, Keisuke to worry about. Of course, they had to contend with his passion for street racing too. The women always begged him to stop, though they were also quick to brag about it to their friends. He had never understood that. Then Kaori came along, and he thought there was a chance that he could find a woman who would be, at least, compatible.

He was very fond of her, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't find her attractive; she was slender, beautiful, with long hair she styled in rolling waves. It was definitely a problem since she was already betrothed to Houjou Rin by their parents' arrangement. It had always been a tricky relationship, since both Kaori and Houjou were his senpai at the University, if it could have even been called a relationship at all. She pulled him in and he went willingly, not totally aware of that vague danger zone around her, and he followed her even though she belonged to someone else.

She had a profound impact upon him.

However, it was her indecisiveness and overall unstable nature that had confused and somewhat frightened him, but he thought he could have broken through that and at least she could have found happiness, either with Houjou or with him. He'd been prepared to face the consequences of becoming involved with another man's promised woman, but he had not been adequately prepared that Kaori would choose to end her life over the situation. Why hadn't she just let him handle it? Ryousuke would never truly know the answer to that. He loved her, he was sure, but when she couldn't decide between him and Houjou, or, maybe, when she had made a decision she wasn't sure with which she could follow through, Ryousuke had tried to put some distance between them and that had put into motion the series of events that brought the relationship to that tragic end. Now that he'd acted upon his desires with Fujiwara, he realized that his relationship with Kaori had definitely been implanted firmly in the danger zone, a very similar one when it came to feelings, to the one he was now in with the young driver who currently occupied his shower.

Unfortunately, the main reason his relationships with women always failed had more to do with his own personal preference, and not with the women themselves. There had been occasional men that Ryousuke discreetly saw from time to time, when he just needed to unwind from the stress of planning out how he was going to marry well and be the perfect son his father required. The men were more forgiving of the fact that he didn't make much time for them. They seemed to be content with the occasional quick fuck between classes, or the random call at some random hour of some random night when Ryousuke needed release. It was as if they understood that they couldn't get attached to someone like Takahashi Ryousuke, and, for his part, Ryousuke had bluntly told them so. He knew he was pretty much an asshole about it, but, in Dr. Takahashi's plan for his eldest son, being involved with men was definitely not acceptable. Period.

He took another refreshing sip of water and another calming drag of his cigarette.

Over the last couple of years, with his studies demanding more of his energy, after Kaori committed suicide, and with his formation of the Red Suns, Ryousuke kept himself busy enough to put relationships well on the back burner. His simulation for Keisuke had taken full priority then, and the discreet encounters with the few men he saw became even fewer and farther between, and dating women had totally stopped. He basically gave up on that and moved on in all other areas of his life, and focused on Keisuke, racing, studying, and creating the simulation for his future happiness, in pretty much that order. That was why Houjou had held such a nasty grudge with him over Kaori's death: the fact that he had appeared to move on too quickly for his senpai's liking. It wasn't until they battled in that Kanagawa death match that Houjou realized they both carried the same heavy burden, the burden of falling love with Kaori and not being able to stop her from ending her life.

With Kaori gone, the only person he thought of for that simulation for his future happiness in marriage, his most logical choice, was his cousin Tsugumi, the girl who had always brought him joy; though she was just a girl, and that created its own special brand of torture, he thought that she would grow to be the one woman he could see himself loving as a husband should love a wife.

At least Tsugumi knew him well. She would have known exactly what to expect, and, she might have been the only person who could have prevented his marriage from turning into one like that of his parents'.

And then, a young man who drove an old car came into his life, and Ryousuke was right back to square one. The time that had passed since he first discovered the talent of Fujiwara Takumi had simply flown by. He hadn't intended to lose that first battle with him, even going to the extreme step of de-tuning the FC specifically for the race. He chuckled to himself as he remembered Keisuke's reaction to the car's lowered horsepower. He had told Keisuke he was putting his pride on the line for that race, and he saw the look of astonishment in his brother's eyes. It had been the first battle in a long time that Ryousuke knew would be tough, and Takumi was the first driver he had come across in Gunma, in years, that had forced him to go to such lengths to prepare.

That look in Keisuke's eyes appeared again before the start of the race, when Ryousuke had told him that he had decided he would retire if he ever lost a street race. He must have subconsciously known that something extraordinary was going to occur that night, even before he first glimpsed the young man as he stepped out of the Panda Trueno. Powerful drivers have an aura about them. Fujiwara Takumi had it, and he didn't even realize he did. He told Keisuke that he thought there would be two drivers that would surpass him, and that Keisuke would be one of them. The other was this strange person who drove a car that shouldn't have been capable of beating his FC, of beating _him_.

The Artisan. God, the name suited him. He didn't have to know Fujiwara Takumi long before he was hooked on him; he drove by instinct, so much like Keisuke, and yet, they were sometimes so different in personality. Having these two separate instinctual drivers become his Aces was a godsend. One, Keisuke, was the driver who took orthodox motor sports methodology and applied it to the street, and the other was a pure street specialist who'd never been near a circuit. That was Fujiwara. Ryousuke made it his mission to have that young man on his team. He remembered the phone call he received from a flustered and tentatively stammering Takumi, asking him for information on Sudou Kyouichi. Takumi had something to prove to himself before accepting the invitation to join Project D: a re-match between himself and the Evo III with his newly restored monster of a hachi-roku. Ryousuke had been so impressed that the young Fujiwara would deign to challenge Kyouichi on his home course, that he would think himself unworthy of Ryousuke's offer to train him, to finance him, unless he redeemed his one technical loss. That Takumi would go to such lengths, at his young age, humbled Ryousuke. At the time, Keisuke didn't understand, thinking it was incredibly rude of Takumi to be asking about Sudou when Ryousuke had made such a generous offer to him. But, Ryousuke knew that it held deep meaning for Takumi to overcome the night he, for reasons still unknown to them and only speculated upon, recklessly battled the Evo III without the tools to win.

That non-battle and its ill-outcome had been sparked by something personal, Ryousuke thought, and Takumi's driving was amateurish and full of angry frustration. Even the sound of the wailing engine of the hachi-roku told Ryousuke that something had deeply upset the usually soft spoken young man. Ryousuke himself used racing to solve certain personal problems, like the one with Kaori, and the one with Tsugumi he would handle later on. He understood. When he had explained it to Keisuke back then, he didn't think his brother totally bought it, but he did accept it, and refused to recognize the loss. It was one of the most mature moments Ryousuke had witnessed in his brother, the understanding that Fujiwara was better than that particular race, better than whatever caused Takumi to do it in the first place. Keisuke might think of Takumi as a constant thorn in his side, a weirdo, an eternal rival both in driving and for Ryousuke's attention, but he respected him and his skills behind the wheel. There was no doubt that the two of them had been incredibly good for each other, because competition was one of the essential elements of his theory of Fastest Speed on Public Roads.

Keisuke had done a lot of growing in the year that had encompassed Project D; both of his Aces astonished him to no end. Their hard work, determination, and dedication would be rewarded in spades when they went pro. Seeing that was to have been its own reward for Ryousuke. He was to become a doctor, a probable workaholic, a mostly absent parent, and a definite lousy husband. 'Nice,' he thought wryly.

His thoughts returned to Keisuke. Despite his growth as both a driver and as a person, Ryousuke knew he was going to have to take a healthy dose of Keisuke's anger when he found out about what had happened between himself and Fujiwara. Ryousuke was sure he'd figure it out, and soon; Keisuke was not stupid, and he still had a jealous streak about the amount of attention his brother gave to the hachi-roku driver, even right down to the car itself. Ryousuke knew Keisuke would feel betrayed, hurt, and confused.

'Sleep first. Deal with Keisuke later,' he thought, taking another drag.

He also had no idea how Takumi would behave once he awoke later on. Only time would tell. First and foremost, he wanted Takumi to sleep comfortably, and Ryousuke wanted to sleep comfortably with him. It was killing him to know that he probably managed to hurt his two most precious people in all the world in one weekend, not to mention the possible effect on the group dynamic should anyone else get wind of things. Although the battles were over, he still needed everyone working 100% to ensure that Keisuke and Takumi got on the right teams, and that the contracts were fair. He needed to make sure the hachi-roku got repaired on time, and, for that, he had needed to enlist the help of both Matsumoto and Tomiguchi because he simply didn't have time now to do it with his own hands, no matter how much he had wanted to. All he could do was pay for the parts as they arrived, and pay the mechanics for all the regular client work they couldn't take while exclusively focusing on the task of putting the derelict Toyota back together.

He also knew that this could potentially destroy the friendship that had developed between the Aces; that was what concerned him most. They would still need each other; their stage was about to get exponentially larger, and there would be a lot of traveling involved. He didn't want either of them to be alone when they first entered the professional arena, especially since he couldn't be there with them anymore. They had a bond, and he was more concerned that Keisuke would be the one to go off half-cocked, but, he knew Fujiwara had a stubborn streak, and if that non-battle with Sudou was any indicator, he had a potentially bad temper as well.

He hoped he could handle that if he ever had occasion to see it; he figured he could since he was also known for his temper, but he had to admit to himself that he wasn't really sure. It wasn't a theory he really wanted to test either, especially not now. He had to add that to the list of uncertainties that he still had when it concerned his Downhill Ace.

'I wonder just how far I've managed to fuck things up this time,' he mused as he finished his cigarette and put it out, taking another drink of water.

Fumihiro would know instantly. That was unavoidable, as would be the thousand or so "I told you so's" that would go along with it. But, for some reason, even though he knew it would cause problems that would have to be solved, he didn't regret having this night, experiencing Takumi as a whole person and not just his Ace Downhiller. He would never forget how he felt, and he would take that feeling and hang on to it for the rest of his days, no matter where in the world Takumi's racing career would take him, or how many years he would be absent as Ryousuke settled into his un-chosen and predetermined path.

He returned inside in time to hear the shower being turned off in the bathroom. He took the unopened second bottle of water and walked back into the bedroom, setting both bottles down on the nightstand. Takumi had not yet emerged, and concern came into Ryousuke's mind again. He didn't want to pressure him, but he needed to see him, to make sure Takumi was truly all right. He walked back out into the living room so as not to appear like he was waiting for the younger man, and to give him privacy. He sat down on the sofa and leafed through a magazine, not reading a single word, one ear trained on the other room. Finally, he heard the door to the bathroom open, and he heard the sound of Takumi tossing his bag on a bedside chair. Ryousuke put the magazine down and walked back toward the bedroom. He stopped at the open doorway, loosely crossed his arms, and leaned against the doorjamb.

"Feel better?" he asked softly.

Takumi turned from fiddling with a stubborn zipper on his backpack and rose to look at Ryousuke. He was clad in only his boxer shorts. Although it should have been the last thing to think about in this moment, Ryousuke couldn't help but to appreciate the view, enhanced by the light trailing into the bedroom from the adjoining bath. Ryousuke was in a state of quasi-disbelief that he had been able to have that body with his own. 'God, he's gorgeous. Why the hell did you allow this, Takumi?'

 _Don't just stand there, idiot! Answer him. Wait...how should I answer that? I have no idea. Oh God, what if I totally messed this up?_

Ryousuke patiently accepted his young lover's silence, pushed himself off from the doorjamb and approached Takumi. "It's okay. You can be honest," he said, placing a reassuring hand on the soft skin of Takumi's shoulder.

"I need to go to sleep...probably," Takumi mumbled, the ever present pink hue dancing briefly across his face.

 _Idiot._

"Okay," Ryousuke replied, allowing that Takumi needed to rest and, likely, wasn't really feeling better at all but was too apprehensive to say so. He removed his hand from Takumi's shoulder, and pulled back the covers again, and Takumi got into bed on his own, a slight hesitation of movement the only sign that he might be in pain. 'Shit.' Ryousuke covered him and sat down.

"There's water here for you, if you want it. I'll be back in a few minutes. Go to sleep."

Takumi nodded and closed his eyes. Ryousuke rose and entered the bathroom for a shower of his own. He made it brief, dried off and re-dressed in his yukata, brushed his teeth, smiling to himself at the sight of Takumi's own toothbrush resting on the side of the sink. Okay. He pushed away the thoughts of how nice it would be to see that again sometime soon, and often. But, this was not the time for craziness like that. He'd done crazy to the maximum already, and now he needed to sleep it off too.

He opened the door and he could hear the regular breathing pattern that said Takumi was already asleep. He half-smiled and shook his head a little, remembering Keisuke's many lamentations over how Takumi could instantly fall asleep on their expeditions, no matter what kind of pressure the two drivers of Project D were under. Keisuke had remarked that Takumi always managed to fall asleep first, and awake last. Now, he had seen it for himself. Of course, Ryousuke was also an expert at what his brother called the "instant coma", but that had been a product of being busy with school and D, and, he thought ruefully, in preparation for the long shifts of hospital work his future held. He had mentioned to Takumi once or twice that sometimes short, deep naps were very restorative. It seemed his protégé took his words to heart.

Ryousuke walked around to the other side of the bed, and lay down next to Takumi's sleeping form. He found himself resisting an urge to hold him as they slept, electing instead to give Takumi the space that Ryousuke thought, even in unconsciousness, Takumi might need. He closed his eyes, and sleep came instantly.


	13. Chapter 13

Ryousuke's Campus Apt., Maebashi, 9AM Saturday.

Ryousuke opened his eyes. The morning sun, muted into a soft glow by the rice paper window shades of his bedroom, coaxed him out of a brief but sound sleep. He glanced over toward the small clock on his nightstand. 9AM. He turned on his side, propping his arm up at the elbow and resting his head upon his hand. He looked at the young man who shared his bed. Takumi hadn't moved an inch; his breathing was deep and regular. 'Why did you let me do this, Takumi?' he asked silently of his downhill Ace as he watched him sleep for a few minutes. Takumi was beautiful, and, Ryousuke desperately hoped that he would awake peacefully with no regrets. He didn't know, and that was agonizing. Sure, there were several probable outcomes, but Ryousuke had not been able to determine with certainty which one would surface. Therefore, no simulation for handling it was apparent. He would just have to wait and see.

He reluctantly rose out of bed, careful not to wake Takumi as he traversed the room and entered the bathroom to splash some water on his face. Once he did what he had to do to wake himself fully, he ran a comb through his hair, and brushed his teeth. He returned to the bedroom. Takumi still had not moved. Good.

He picked up Takumi's dress pants off the floor, removing his wallet and phone from their back pocket, and setting the items on the nightstand. The message light was blinking on the phone, as was the battery light. Not wanting to pry, he left it as it was instead of turning it off completely to conserve the battery. He couldn't help but to wonder if Takumi's girlfriend had tried to reach him last night. Ryousuke wasn't sure what to make of that. If it was serious, he thought, Takumi would never have abruptly kissed him in the first place, would he have? Or, perhaps, Ryousuke mused, in Takumi's mind, what they shared the night before was its own separate entity, having nothing to do with anyone but the two of them. He wondered if Takumi really did compartmentalize things that way on purpose, or if it happened accidentally. He assumed it had to be an accident. Takumi's response was obvious; he did want it to happen, on some level. Ryousuke need to know on just what level that was, and he would have to wait for Takumi to awaken to find out.

Now that the light of day had arrived, he didn't even know himself what to call what had happened, and all the feelings that were creeping into his heart because of it. He had wanted Takumi badly enough to lose complete control, and lose it he did. In Ryousuke's mind, it wasn't a mistake, or if it was, it was the most beautiful mistake he ever made. It was disconcerting to be...confused. Coffee. Now.

He quietly opened the closet door, brought out a hanger, and neatly draped Takumi's slacks over it, smiling to himself at the memory of how handsome Takumi had looked wearing them, and then, not wearing them. No wonder he had lost it, Ryousuke thought; Takumi had no clue how hot he was. He placed the hanger on a hook, and picked up the rest of their clothes from the floor, folding Takumi's shorts and socks, and placing them on top of his bag. He put his own in the laundry hamper. The light of day also revealed a slight trace of blood on the bedsheets. 'God, Takahashi. You hurt him. So fucking selfish.' He sighed and looked back toward the bed again. 'Forgive me. Please.' Somehow, no matter what happened when Takumi awoke, Ryousuke would have to make sure things would be right between them in this new world that was the "after" to the night before. He only hoped that Takumi had wanted it as much as he had, but he wasn't sure if that was even possible. He was definitely sure that Takumi didn't arrive at the nightclub with a plan to go to bed with him. That part may have been started unintentionally by Takumi, but Ryousuke had certainly finished it.

'Get it together. You were going to make coffee. You need coffee.'

He returned to the kitchen, and started a pot of coffee. Once he had brought two mugs down from the cupboard, he proceeded to pick up the shirts that lay scattered near the sofa. He returned to the bedroom once again, hanging Takumi's dress shirt with his pants, folding his t-shirt, and tossing his own into the hamper. He went into the bathroom, and grabbed the second yukata he had taken out, and returned to where Takumi lay asleep on the bed. He gently draped it across his blanket covered body. Beautiful. He exited, closed the bedroom door, and walked back into the living room. He flipped open the laptop and turned it on, hoping to get a little work done while Takumi slept. He opened the slider to the balcony and set the computer down on the small table outside. He thought that if he worked on something, it might calm him enough to try and piece together exactly what had happened, and where, if anywhere, it would go from this point onward.

The soft beeping sound coming from the kitchen signified that the coffee was ready. He picked up the half empty water bottles from the night before and walked into the kitchen to discard them. He poured a cup of coffee and, with a sigh of resignation, picked up his cell phone and turned it on.

As expected, there were voice messages waiting from ten missed calls, eight of which were from Keisuke, and two from Fumihiro. Judging from the times of the calls, Keisuke had waited up for a while. Reluctantly, he dialed his voicemail and listened as he went out to the balcony to have his coffee and a cigarette.

"You have...ten...new messages. To listen to-"

He pressed pound.

"Message one on...Saturday, August xth,...at... two... sixteen...AM...from number..."

He pressed one.

"Ryousuke," came the sound of Fumihiro's voice. He sounded none too happy. "You owe me big time, old friend. I had a hell of a time reigning in Keisuke just now. You need to call me as soon as you get home tonight, I don't care what time it is. We need to talk."

'Shit.'

He pressed the button for the next message.

"Next message. Message... two... on...Sat-"

"Yeah, yeah," he groaned, pressing the button to listen.

"Yo. Aniki. I don't know what the hell's going on here," he heard a very loud and somewhat slurred version of his brother's voice say. Ryousuke held the phone away from his ear because he really wasn't in the mood for the volume. "For some reason, that guy Iketani or whatever was under the impression that you gave Fujiwara a ride home tonight! Did you? What the hell is up with that?! I thought he left with some chick. You said you were going home. And, why the hell is your friggin' phone off? You suck. I'll see you at home."

'Some chick?' Ryousuke thought with dry amusement. He then realized that Fujiwara probably didn't want to mention that he was leaving with him, just as Ryousuke didn't feel it necessary to mention it. That was probably just Keisuke's assumption.

'I guess that was mistake number one. I should have just told him.' Obviously, Fujiwara would have had to tell his other friends. Takumi just didn't count on one of them mentioning it to Keisuke, Ryousuke supposed.

The next four were all hang-ups with slight muttering in the background, all from Keisuke.

Delete, delete, delete, delete.

"Next message. Message...seven...on-"

"Aniki, it's like almost 4:30. What the fuck? You at your apartment or some shit? Why would you go all the way the hell back there after dropping the weirdo off at Akina? Did you meet someone after all? If you did, and you didn't even let me see her, you're a total bastard! Ah, fuck it."

"Yeah, I'm a bastard," Ryousuke grumbled to himself as he drank his coffee and smoked. The next two messages were more hang-ups from Keisuke. 'He was pissed drunk. Not good. I hope he had the sense not to drive anywhere. Shit.'

The final message came in about an hour ago, around eight AM, from Fumihiro.

"Next me-"

Beep.

"Ryousuke. I just got up and saw that I received a strongly worded text from Keisuke at about 5 this morning. You didn't go home last night, I guess. He's pissed. I think you should call me before you go home."

"End of messages. To replay these mess-"

Ryousuke closed the connection to his voicemail. He sipped his coffee and smoked. 'Oh yeah. Great day ahead.'

He dialed Fumihiro's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey. It's me," Ryousuke said.

"Ryousuke. I had a hell of a time with Keisuke last night."

"So you said in the voicemail. What happened?" Ryousuke asked calmly.

"Well, when the Speed Stars guys came to thank Keisuke before they left, Keisuke made some wisecrack about how he didn't realize Fujiwara was some kind of player, leaving the club with a girl and all. Fujiwara's friends looked confused as hell. One of them said that he was quite sure Keisuke was mistaken, that Fujiwara had told them he got a ride home with you. Keisuke wasn't pleased, as you might imagine. He was pissed."

"Yeah."

"So, of course, he lays into me. I swear Ryousuke, you put me in a damn pinch!"

"I'm sorry," Ryousuke said. He had the sinking feeling that he was going to be saying that a lot today.

"The only thing you did right was not tell me anything. Because of that, at least, I was truthful to Keisuke when I said didn't know anything about it." He paused for a few seconds. "Ryousuke. Please tell me you didn't leave with Fujiwara last night."

After a short silence, Ryousuke replied, "I can't tell you that, Hiroshi."

He heard Fumihiro draw in a sharp breath. "Then, at least tell me you dropped him home in Shibukawa, and spent the night at your apartment for something going on early at the University today."

"I can't tell you that either," Ryousuke admitted softly.

Silence.

"Ryousuke...my God...you didn't..."

"It wasn't really planned that way-"

"Bullshit!" Fumihiro interrupted sternly. Ryousuke recoiled a bit. Fumihiro was not the type to get riled up easily. He was pissed.

"Hiroshi. I offered him a ride home, yes. What happened afterward...that's what wasn't planned. Honest."

He could hear Fumihiro sigh on the other end. "He's still there. Isn't he..."

"Yeah. Sleeping."

"Did you..."

"I think you already know the answer to that."

"My God, Ryousuke. I never thought you'd actually...what the hell happened?"

"I lost control."

"What?!"

"You heard me."

Fumihiro was silent again for a few seconds. "And Fujiwara...he went along with this?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah. He initiated it, actually."

"No...way...?!"

"I told you this wasn't planned. He…kissed me. Obviously, how could I plan for something like that? It...went from there," Ryousuke explained.

"Why did he do that?"

Ryousuke sighed. "I have no idea, really."

"Then you should have stopped him! What the hell-"

"I'm only human too, Shiko," Ryousuke quietly interrupted.

Fumihiro sighed. "I know. I'm sorry. I knew you were...interested in him. But, really, I told you this can't be a good idea. Keisuke is going to hit the roof, you know. They're _friends_."

"I know."

"He was pissed that you even gave him a lift in the car. Ryousuke, old friend, you've really got a problem here. If you don't tell Keisuke, I have to tell you that I won't lie to him if he asks me questions. You need to know that. I care a lot about him. About both of you. Don't put me in a shitty position with him."

"I'll tell him."

"Okay," Fumihiro said after a few more empty seconds. "I'll leave it to you, then..."

"Shiko," Ryousuke ventured. "You sound as if you had something else to say. Say it."

Fumihiro sighed again. "Was it everything you thought it would be? With him?" he asked quietly.

"And more," Ryousuke affirmed seriously.

"Really."

"Yeah."

"Ah. Okay. Well, all right. If there ever was an uphill battle, you're about to fight it, you know."

"I'm well aware."

"Let me know how it goes with Keisuke, okay?"

"Yeah."

"And, uh, with him, too."

"Okay. I'll talk to you later."

Ryousuke closed the call. Fumihiro was pissed, but Ryousuke knew that he had good reason to be. But, he was satisfied that his friend did seem to understand a little. For him to ask how it went was proof of that. The fact that he was as concerned for Keisuke made Ryousuke realize that his old friend truly did have the best interests of both of them at heart.

He started to work on an email to one of the Deans of one of the foreign medical schools, but his mind kept wandering to the events of the night before. It had been so incredible, and so unlike any other night when he had given over to his desires in the past. It was different, and wonderful, and terribly frightening. He had prided himself of late for not wavering from his predetermined path, sacrificing his feelings and the feelings of the other people with whom he became involved, just to maintain the appearance of being what he was expected to be. For the most part, other than Kaori, he didn't even feel guilty about any so-called relationship he had with anyone. That was what was both surprising and terrifying. If Takumi were to tell him he regretted it, Ryousuke was sure that he would feel something he had never felt before. Imagining that scenario caused him to inwardly shudder. Was this what it meant to suffer some kind of heartbreak? Had he unknowingly done this before to... who knew how many people? It was incredibly unpleasant, and, he ruefully thought, he probably deserved it if that was how it was going to be.

He decided to give Takumi plenty of time to sleep this morning, no matter if that caused him to return home to face Keisuke even later. His brother was not going to handle this well, of that, he was sure. He had tried to tell him that his personal life was a wreck, and Keisuke did seem to have the beginnings of understanding. Ryousuke had hoped that, in time, once he was already married off and secure, that he would pull Keisuke aside one day, and tell him everything. That timetable was no longer acceptable. Because Ryousuke lost control, because Takumi had brought out in him such feelings he didn't know he was capable of having anymore, Keisuke would have to know things before he was probably ready to understand. At least, Ryousuke thought, it might get Keisuke to see him as the imperfect being he really was; there was nothing more Ryousuke wanted for his brother than for him to love himself. He never wanted his brother to try to be like him. Hopefully, with his anger, Keisuke would see that "being Ryousuke" wasn't always a very nice thing to be.

He tapped away at his email for a while, but, after about an hour and a second cup of coffee had both found their way to passing by, he found himself staring at the screen, registering nothing. He leaned back and smoked. Ryousuke hoped that Takumi would soon wake. He was actually nervous. 'Am I really afraid of being...rejected? Takumi...'

In the bedroom, Takumi drowsily opened his eyes, and stared at a decidedly unfamiliar ceiling for a few seconds.

 _It happened. It really happened. I'm in Ryousuke-san's bed. I...slept with Ryousuke-san..._

Takumi turned to his side, his face feeling hot. Ryousuke was not there.

 _Is he gone? No. He wouldn't leave me here alone. He's here. What do I do?_

He looked over at the nightstand to find his wallet and phone placed neatly upon it. The clock told him it was nearly 10:30.

 _Shit. It's pretty late. Ryousuke-san probably has been waiting for me to get up. He probably has a million things he needs to do. Shit. I feel like I got run over by a truck, but...I'm glad. I don't care. I wanted to be with him. It was...amazing. He's amazing. Oh God, I hope he doesn't hate me._

He sat up in bed, wincing a little, but he was okay, or, he would be. He looked around the tidy room. His face flushed a little more at the memory of the night before. He wanted to kiss Ryousuke again, to feel the reassurance he knew he had felt from him before, but he wasn't sure if Ryousuke would want it.

 _What the hell is wrong with me?_

He saw that his dress clothes were hung neatly on a hanger, and that his other clothes were placed on his backpack, folded. He looked down toward his feet and saw the yukata that had been in the bathroom before was laying across the bed.

Ryousuke had taken care of his things. Was Ryousuke trying to take care...of him? Takumi wasn't sure, but he conceded to himself that the thought wasn't too terrible in this case.

 _What am I? A girl? No. I just need...to know what he's thinking. I need to know...why..?_

The bedroom door was closed, and Takumi couldn't hear any sounds coming from the other room. He thought he could smell coffee. He took a deep breath and gingerly rose from the bed, the pain in his body jolting his memory, and causing him to relive for a few seconds the incredible pleasure his mentor had given him along with it. With his mouth. His hands. His...

 _Oh God. Why did this happen? Oh. I started it. I started the whole thing! Idiot! Calm down. He would have stopped me. He would have._

He went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth, and then returned to the bed. He picked up the yukata and put it on. He took a deep breath, opened the door, and went into the living room. The sliding door was open. Takumi quietly approached it and saw Ryousuke outside, leaning back in his chair, legs crossed, with a cup of coffee in his hands and not quite at his lips. He seemed to be deep in thought.

Takumi watched him for a minute; he had his computer open, but he wasn't looking at it. The eggplant-colored silk fabric of his yukata was draped generously about his slender shoulders; he was incredibly handsome, Takumi thought, both dressed and undressed, and now, in this state that was somewhere in between. God, he wanted to touch him, but, seeing Ryousuke in repose like that, he seemed untouchable again.

 _What should I do?_

As the thought crossed his mind, his mentor's voice reached his ears. "Ah. You're awake. Good morning," Ryousuke said quietly, as he turned a little to face him.

"Good morning, Ryousuke...-san," Takumi replied, barely finding his voice upon seeing the handsome older man.

Ryousuke closed his eyes. He thought, 'So we're back to -san, then. Okay.'

Ryousuke opened his eyes again and rose. Takumi looked apprehensive, but stunning in the black yukata he was wearing. Ryousuke couldn't help but to smile a little, and that seemed to relax Takumi. Good.

He walked over to him, getting as close as he dared, and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "There's coffee. Want some?"

Takumi nodded.

"How do you take it, Takumi?"

"One sugar."

"Okay. You can get comfortable on the sofa, and I'll bring it."

Takumi nodded again.

 _Idiot! SAY something!_

'You're killing me, Takumi. What the hell are you thinking?' Ryousuke asked to himself as he poured, then put one sugar cube into the second mug and refilled his own. He returned to the living room and saw that Takumi had settled into the sofa. 'Get a grip.'

"Here," he said, giving Takumi his coffee and sitting down next to him.

"Thank you, Ryousuke-san."

Ryousuke sighed. "You don't have to address me that way, Takumi. Especially not when it's just the two of us," he said carefully.

"Okay."

They both sipped. Ryousuke had to ask, and he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer. "Takumi, I need to know."

Takumi seemed to be apprehensive again, only casting him a sideways glance as he raised his coffee mug to his lips. Ryousuke took a breath.

"Do you regret it?"

Takumi stopped mid-sip. He lowered his cup a little and turned to look Ryousuke in the eye. "No," he said simply, but the intensity was there.

Ryousuke was overcome with a relief more powerful than he had ever expected. He heard himself exhale deeply. "I'm glad. I was...worried."

 _What?!_

" _You_ were?" Takumi whispered with incredulity.

"Yeah. _I_ was." Ryousuke tentatively reached out and smoothed Takumi's hair. God, he was adorable with bed-head. Takumi closed his eyes at the touch. Okay. Good. Ryousuke lingered with Takumi's soft hair laced through his fingers, the side of his face cupped into his hand. He wasn't sure, but he felt that Takumi leaned into his hand, just barely.

"Takumi, look at me, please."

Takumi opened his eyes. There was a serious look on Ryousuke's face, and Takumi immediately felt unsure. "What is it, Ryousuke-sa…er Ryousuke?" he asked quietly. "You look upset. Did I do something wrong?"

Ryousuke gently placed his mug down on the table, and took Takumi's from his hands to place it alongside. He shifted slightly and put both hands firmly on Takumi's shoulders. "My God no, Takumi. If anyone's been wrong here, it's me." He leaned in and kissed Takumi lightly on the lips. "You've absolutely done nothing wrong in this."

Takumi just stared.

"Takumi, I hope...you're not," he took a breath before finishing this uncomfortable, but necessary sentence, "hurting...too much. I'm so sorry. I-"

"I'm fine," Takumi asserted quietly. "I...sort of knew...what to expect. I guess."

'Okay,' Ryousuke thought. 'He's not angry at you for hurting him. He's too good for you, you know.'

"I should have been...less impatient with you. Forgive me."

"I knew what was happening," Takumi replied evenly. "I...wanted it to happen."

Ryousuke leaned in and kissed him again, gently moving his tongue in a shallow caress of Takumi's mouth which, to his relief, was returned by the younger man. When he pulled back, he asked, "Why?"

"I just...felt like I wanted to."

"I see." That short statement explained everything. Takumi did everything instinctually. Ryousuke realized, that sometimes, things were better without the reasoning of cold logic at all. Takumi was a beautiful person without it, and Ryousuke had experienced his own brush with feeling as a result. However, he couldn't quite shake the nagging notion that he needed to make sure Takumi was truly all right and didn't think he did anything wrong.

"Relax with me, for a minute, will you?" he asked quietly.

Takumi nodded, and Ryousuke returned their mugs to their hands. He wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close, the way he had wanted to be while they slept. Ryousuke was surprised with himself that he would make such a gesture. His previous partners barely got a perfunctory "I'll call you". In fact, none of them had ever stayed the night. But then, none had captivated him as Takumi had. They sat like this for a few minutes, and soon, their breathing was in synch. Ryousuke was absently smoothing Takumi's hair with his free hand, and having no luck whatsoever.

"Can I tell you something, Takumi?"

"Sure."

"You have a very severe case of bed head. I might have to schedule an appointment for you."

 _Huh? He's actually joking. He's relaxed. God, I love seeing him like this. He doesn't hate me. Wait. He's teasing me! Oh, hell no._

Takumi's hand flew up to cover Ryousuke's, and he tried to forcefully flatten down the offending strands. Ryousuke could hear himself stifle a chuckle.

"Is it terminal, Takahashi...sensei?" Takumi replied dryly, sitting up a little, a mock scowl on his face.

Ryousuke laughed lightly. He had always thought Takumi, the quiet type, would possess a singular wit all his own. He felt fortunate to have the distance between them closed enough for him to have seen an example of it. He could find happiness in this too, too easily. Shit.

Takumi smiled at the rare sound of his mentor's laughter. He felt his cheeks begin to warm at the thought that he had caused it. There was that sparkle in Ryousuke's eyes, the same one he saw after he won a tough battle, the one he had always longed to see, the one for which he worked so hard to win. This was...wonderful, and worth any lingering pain he might have. They sat silently, finishing their coffee.

Ryousuke wouldn't have minded freezing this moment in time, but he knew that once they left his apartment, the reality of what had transpired there would hit. This was the "after" he could no longer avoid.

"Takumi, I need to tell you something."

The younger nodded.

"Fumihiro knows what happened here last night. He called."

Ryousuke could feel him shrink back a little. Shit.

"You...told him?" Takumi whispered.

"Hiroshi has been a lifelong friend of mine. He knows me very well. I didn't have to tell him. He already knew that I...had been interested in you, separate from my interest in your driving. Before now, I mean."

 _What?! Before? Before when? How long? Before Project D?_

"Before," Takumi repeated. "Before...what?"

"I'm not sure exactly," Ryousuke replied with a slight chuckle. More seriously, he continued. "But, I admit, it's been for a while."

 _What?!_

"I kept it to myself fairly well, I suppose," he added, seeing the look of surprise on Takumi's face. "Until last night, of course." He saw the hachi-roku driver's cheeks turn pink. "I never thought a night like that, with you, would have ever been possible."

Takumi was looking at the floor. "I...when I...I wasn't thinking. It just happened."

"I know that."

Takumi only exhaled in reply.

"Now," Ryousuke hesitated, "I should also tell you that Keisuke will know. Either he'll have already figured it out, or I'll tell him myself."

Takumi sat straight up, a look of panic in his face. "You're...going to tell Keisuke-san," he said as more of a declaration of fact than a question.

"He'll find out. He should hear it from me. I'm the one who has been selfish here, I could have stopped. I didn't. I didn't want to, even knowing that there would be certain...consequences."

Takumi felt the color drain from his face.

 _Shit! Keisuke-san will beat the crap out of me! Oh God. Why is he going to tell him? I really didn't want anyone to know what happened here. Did I? Does he have to say anything at all? I wasn't planning to...was I? And it's not like this happened without both of us…he said something about being selfish last night too.._

"Takumi, I know that makes you uncomfortable. Trust me, I'm not looking forward to his reaction either."

"Then why say anything at all?" Takumi weakly asked.

"I've told you before. You and he are a lot alike. He'll sense it before he realizes it cognitively. He _is_ my brother. That's why I need to tell him before he comes to the conclusion on his own. It will be easier that way in the long run."

Takumi considered the statement. He remembered that Ryousuke had told him that he was very similar to Keisuke, and, he had to admit, there were times when he agreed. But, there were also those times when he felt that Keisuke was someone he couldn't possibly relate to in a million years, even if they had gotten pretty close recently. He honestly didn't consider the possibility that Keisuke would get involved. Was it any of his business who his brother slept with?

 _Why the hell didn't I see this coming? Of course he would tell his brother. Of course Keisuke-san will freak! Why didn't you think about that before you went and kissed him in the damn car?!_

Ryousuke saw that Takumi's brow was deeply furrowed with concern, or maybe panic. "Takumi, please. What are you thinking?" he asked quietly. He wasn't even sure if he had been heard. Takumi had retreated into his own world again.

 _Shit. I screwed it up. What did I expect? Wasn't it just a one night thing? I don't want it to be that. Wait. What? But, if it was, then Keisuke-san shouldn't need to know. Ryousuke wouldn't want it...again, would he?_

"Ryousuke, maybe we should just forget what happened here, and never let it happen again," Takumi whispered. "Then, you won't have to tell Keisuke-san, right, because it will be just a one time thing. I know he's my friend, but I don't want to cause any more trouble, so you should just forget everything."

Ryousuke was stunned. He studied his protégé. Hearing the phrase "one-time thing" come out of Takumi's mouth was like a punch to the gut. How many times had he said that very same phrase to other people, or some variation of it? One-night thing, casual thing, just sex; however he had tried to spin it, or make it sound less vulgar, it still meant "fuck and run". And here, Takumi was asking him to forget it all. Ryousuke didn't think that was what Takumi truly wanted, but, he realized he wasn't one-hundred percent certain. Takumi may not have regretted it, but, perhaps, he wanted only to keep that memory and move on. Ryousuke decided he didn't like being on the receiving end of something like that, even if he thought he probably deserved it. Before he realized it, he heard himself speak. "No."

"No?"

"No. I won't forget it. I refuse."

Takumi was silent.

"Takumi. You need to trust me. I will handle Keisuke."

More silence. Shit.

"Takumi," he tried again. "if you want to forget it, I'll understand. If that's what you want, then I will accept that. You haven't caused any trouble; please believe that. Whatever happens, I'll handle it."

"But, if it's something you have to 'handle', that means it's a problem, doesn't it?"

Ryousuke sighed. "I've been selfish with you. I desired you, wanted you. I told you, everything has been because of that. That's the only problem here, and it's my problem alone."

 _Again with the 'selfish' crap._

"You had help," Takumi said plainly.

Ryousuke chuckled a little, reaching to pull the younger one close to him again. Takumi accepted. Good. They sat silently for a few minutes.

"All right," Ryousuke said softly. " I concede that your incredible sexiness pushed me over the edge."

 _What the hell did he just say?_

"Huh?" Takumi asked, as he turned to face Ryousuke, the yukata slipping slightly, revealing another glimpse of the perfect body under it. Takumi saw his mentor's eyes glance down for a second, and he felt his cheeks become warm again.

"Like that. You have no idea what you do to me...what you have been doing to me for _months_ without even realizing it."

 _Months?!_

"And, I _am_ selfish," Ryousuke continued, "because I really don't want last night to be a 'one time thing', but... if that's what you need it to be..."

Takumi turned a little more, trying to readjust the yukata and failing. "I don't want that. I just, well, I guess I just don't know what 'this' is. What is it?"

Ryousuke leaned in and kissed Takumi lightly. "You need to find that answer for yourself," he whispered. 'Don't bother fixing that, either,' he thought, as he saw Takumi try to cover himself.

 _Great. Some help you are. You're supposed to tell ME the answer! I've never done this before with a guy… But, obviously,...he has. Shouldn't he know?_

"But you're sure you have to tell Keisuke-san," Takumi whispered, and he saw his mentor nod his assent. Takumi frowned. "That would be like me telling..."

 _Shit!_

Ryousuke waited for him to finish. It seemed that he wasn't about to. "Like telling your girlfriend?" he offered quietly.

"Yeah," he admitted softly.

Ryousuke sighed. "Takumi, you don't have to stop seeing her because of me. If you like her, enjoy it. That's as it should be, after all," he said, though part of him felt insincere about it. But, Takumi had a right to do as he pleased. Even if they were to continue to see each other, Ryousuke knew such a thing couldn't ever realistically continue to happen over the long term. How much could he continue to take from the younger man without giving a little, right? He'd taken pretty much everything already, he figured. It would be incredibly unfair to ask Takumi to give up dating other people, even if Ryousuke suddenly found that he didn't much care for him to do so. Takumi deserved to take advantage of every happiness he could find, and, if that was with his girlfriend sometimes, then so be it. He was finding that he enjoyed Takumi, the person, a lot more than he should; part of him wanted this day to continue, so he could continue to see the whole person that was Fujiwara Takumi, to get to know him for who he was. He had gotten glimpses, and it was incredibly pleasing. And, of course, he couldn't help but to appreciate the sight of Takumi in the slipping yukata. He was gorgeous, and Ryousuke would have taken him right back to bed if he thought he could.

"I guess," Takumi responded vaguely.

 _So he wants me to keep dating Mika-chan. I don't understand, but, I guess this is...it's separate from that?_ _This whatever it is. Okay. Is that okay? I still don't see myself saying anything to Mika-chan at all! Never mind if I can even face her or not. But he's still going to tell Keisuke-san, so I'm still in deep shit! Say something!_

"I'm sure Keisuke-san will be…"

 _Furious._

"Yeah. Try not to worry about it," Ryousuke finished, seeming to read Takumi's thoughts.

"He's going to meet me on my tofu run and kill me," Takumi affirmed. "He's met me up there before."

 _Damn. I said that aloud._

"He'll do no such thing. I will make sure of it," Ryousuke said firmly. It appeared that Takumi wasn't totally convinced. "He'll deal with it in his own way," he continued softly. "Someday, I'll tell you about how strong my brother is, why he is the way he is. Keisuke is...an incredible person. Another person I really don't deserve."

 _Another person?_

Takumi considered that statement. He wasn't quite sure what to make of it, or about whom Ryousuke was referring. There was nothing he was sure about, and he shuddered inwardly at the notion that he would actually have to think about all of this. He would have to think about Mika, about everything had previously understood as truth, not only about her, but about himself. But, that could certainly wait. It's not like he had to figure everything out right away; even when Ryousuke gave him advice at battles, he often didn't understand the meaning of it until the last moment anyway. He reasoned that probably anything having to do with Ryousuke would be that way. He _was_ concerned about how Keisuke would react, but, they were friends right? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Clearly, his rival loved his brother, and Ryousuke was so relaxed. Keisuke would understand that and notice that, right? He saw that Ryousuke was looking at him intently again.

 _Idiot._

"I know Keisuke-san is amazing. I see it all the time when we drive. He's the real deal," Takumi said softly.

"Takumi, you're the real deal too. I picked you and Keisuke to do all the things that I can't. You should have a good understanding of that by now."

"Yeah. I do."

They sat for a few moments more. "I should probably get home, Ryousuke. I'm sure you have a lot to do."

Ryousuke reluctantly moved to stand. "I suppose. I wouldn't want your father to be worried about you. Perhaps you should call to say you're on your way."

Takumi rolled his eyes. "He's not like that," he began as he stood and followed Ryousuke as he walked into the kitchen. He stopped at the doorway, fiddling with his uncooperative yukata again. "As long as I make an occasional appearance at home, or am home in time for the delivery, I'm basically able to come and go without much hassle."

"Is that so?" Ryousuke asked, genuinely curious about the elder Fujiwara, and wishing the younger Fujiwara would just leave the damn yukata alone.

"Yeah. Before graduation, I tried to ask him what I should be doing afterward."

"What did he say?" Ryousuke asked casually as he rinsed out the mugs and the coffee decanter.

"He said, 'open a tofu shop, or whatever'."

Ryousuke smiled a little. "That's very interesting to me."

"Eh? Why?" Takumi asked, somewhat bewildered.

"Let's just say, that 'whatever' sounds like a wonderful suggestion. The 'whatever' option allowed me to have you in Project D, when you could have, and, maybe should have, been going to school somewhere."

Ryousuke heard Takumi chuckle. He was glad to see the young driver relax around him again. "What's so funny about that?" he asked with another smile.

The downhiller just rolled his eyes again. "Yeah, right, Ryousuke. I think my dad and I both knew that wasn't happening. I wasn't what you'd call a good student, I scraped by enough to pass, and that's about it. You probably can't understand something like that since you're so smart."

Ryousuke finished up in the kitchen and stood in front of Takumi. "No, I do understand. And, I don't necessarily associate academic performance with intelligence. Genius can mean different things to different people, you know. Personally, I think you and Keisuke are more genius than I could ever hope to be."

 _Huh?!_

Takumi frowned. "Sure. That's why I work for a moving company and you're going to be a doctor," he said wryly.

Ryousuke smirked a little, and put his hand on Takumi's shoulder. "You won't be working there for very much longer, Takumi. I guarantee that. When we've got you signed, you'll be able to go anywhere."

Takumi definitely looked uncomfortable upon receiving the compliment. 'So much like Keisuke,' Ryousuke thought. "All right. I suppose we should get dressed. Let's go to an early lunch before we return to Shibukawa, shall we?"

"Is it lunchtime already? I'm sorry. You probably don't have time-"

"Don't apologize. Please. I've got nothing planned until later on, honest."

Takumi didn't look convinced.

"You're joining me for lunch. End of discussion," Ryousuke said, brushing past and heading toward the bedroom. He knew he should just take Takumi home, but, he simply didn't want to.

"But, Ryousuke," the younger began, walking into the bedroom just in time to see him enter the bathroom.

"But what?" Ryousuke said as he debated with a quick look in the mirror as to whether or not eye drops were necessary.

"Don't you have anything better to do?"

Ryousuke sighed, deciding eye drops weren't needed. He walked over to Takumi and laced his arms around the firm waist through the loosened yukata, startling the younger man a little, the feeling of Takumi's skin on his hands immediately bringing with it the memory of their night together. Takumi closed his eyes. 'Okay. He hasn't forgotten it either. Good.' He brushed his lips across the younger's lips, and moved to speak softly into his ear.

"Takumi, if we don't head out for lunch now, I might not be able to guarantee that you'll make it home tonight either."

 _Oh God. He really needs to stop being like that! I can't take it when he talks like that! It's…exciting...though...was it really true what he said? That he liked me for months already?!_

Ryousuke saw that Takumi had opened his eyes. "Really..?" he whispered, apparently unable to find his voice. Perfect.

"Yeah. Really. So get dressed, before I decide that I have a better plan."

He gave Takumi a quick peck on the lips, reluctantly withdrew his hands and walked into the closet to select some clothes. When he brought out a suitable shirt and slacks, he saw that the younger one had remained exactly where he was. He opened a drawer for socks and shorts, and Takumi still did not move. "You can feel free to get dressed now," he said lightly as he walked past him and retreated into the bathroom to change, closing the door on a somewhat flustered Downhill Ace.


	14. Chapter 14

Takumi could hear Ryousuke getting ready, and he finally recovered himself enough to fish his jeans and t-shirt out of his backpack and throw them on. He put on his socks, and put everything else back inside his bag. He reached for his wallet and phone; the battery was almost dead, and he had messages. Using the last bit of the battery's power, he flipped open the phone. There was a text from Mika and a voice message from Itsuki; he read the text.

"Hope you had fun with your teammates, Takumi-kun. I will be back either Tuesday or Wednesday, depending on how I do at my tournament. Can we get together at the restaurant again? I miss you. I'll text when I finish today. Mika."

 _I'm a jerk. I think_.

"Something wrong, Takumi?" Ryousuke asked as he saw his downhiller studying his cell phone intently.

 _Shit! I didn't hear him come out!_

"No, not really," he replied, with barely a glance toward a now fully dressed Ryousuke. He snapped the phone shut.

"I know you had messages, I saw the light when I put your phone away," the elder said softly as he walked back into the closet, ostensibly, Takumi mused, to get a sport coat. "But, the battery was low. You can charge it in the car, if you want. I think one of the chargers I have will work for that phone."

"That's okay. It's not important."

Sure enough, Ryousuke had donned a light sport coat, and Takumi sheepishly looked down at his half wrinkled t-shirt and jeans. He hoped that wherever they were going was casual. As he furtively glanced at Ryousuke, he felt a slight tinge of excitement pass through him. The guy was always incredibly well put together. He looked flawless.

 _Face it, idiot. I've always thought he was good looking. A hundred screaming gallery girls can't be wrong, right? He looks like THAT, and I look like crap. What the hell does he see when he looks at me?_

Ryousuke had returned to the bathroom once again; apparently, he was tidying up. Taking his cue from that, Takumi hastily moved to make the bed. "So what is the nice girl's name, anyway?" he heard Ryousuke casually ask from the other room as he tucked she sheets under the mattress, replaced the coverlet and fluffed up the pillows.

 _Why is he asking that? He doesn't care that I checked Mika-chan's message? I don't...get it._

"Why do you want to know that?" he ventured to ask, to his own surprise.

Ryousuke returned, and smiled at the sight of his well made bed. "Just curious. Takumi, really, it's fine if you have a girlfriend." He didn't think it was fine, but he had been selfish enough, hadn't he? If he had a girlfriend, so what? That hadn't stopped him the night before, and Ryousuke had to admit he was curious about that. However, as long as he could have him again himself, he just didn't much care. He had no right to be...jealous. Whatever Takumi said in response, he would find a way to put him at ease.

"Okay. Well, her name is Uehara Mika-chan."

Ryousuke furrowed his brow. "Why do I think I've heard that name before?" he asked, almost to himself.

Takumi blushed again. "Probably, uh, because she's kind of famous."

Ryousuke smirked. "Famous, is she? Now I have to know. Where would I have heard of an Uehara Mika?"

 _Crap. Oh well. He doesn't seem pissed. He's still relaxed. Okay. Might as well just wing it._

To Ryousuke's delight, he saw an almost impish look cross Takumi's face. "Hmm. Maybe I shouldn't tell you. Wouldn't want her to get to know you or anything, or she might become one of your crazy fans, 'Ryousuke-kami-sama'," he sarcastically replied, mimicking the cries he sometimes heard from the gallery girls whenever they spotted his mentor wherever he rolled up in the FC.

Ryousuke laughed lightly. 'Good,' he thought, deciding to play along. This side of Takumi was so much more wonderful than he had ever expected. "That's okay if you don't want to say. Now that I have her name, just a few clicks on the computer, and I'll know her secret identity. Maybe I'll send her a love letter."

"Eh?! What?!" Takumi said, exasperated. Ryousuke laughed again. God, Takumi thought, it was so wonderful to see his team leader this way, how the man could take a subject that ought to have been incredibly awkward and uncomfortable, and turn it around so that Takumi would feel like everything was all right. To him, Ryousuke seemed to have a way of making a lot of things feel that way, even if he did tend to overcomplicate it most of the time. But he wasn't doing that now, and Takumi felt like he was so much more reachable this way. "You. Wouldn't."

"Hmm. I wonder," Ryousuke playfully added as he pulled the hanger with Takumi's dress clothes from the hook.

 _He got me. I lost._

"She plays golf," Takumi deadpanned.

"Golf?" the team leader asked. Then, he knew. "My Lord, Takumi. Isn't she a junior champion?"

Takumi nodded.

"I'm impressed. You can probably imagine that a lot of the Doctors I have to hang around with play golf, talk about golf. I've heard about her before."

"She's pretty low key though. She doesn't make a big deal out of how good she is."

"Sounds familiar," Ryousuke said plainly. "You must have a lot in common."

"I guess. Can we go now?"

 _I'm too flustered to talk about Mika right now, especially after last night. You're the one I slept with. Not her._

"Sure," Ryousuke replied, taking the hint. There would be no more talk about Uehara Mika for now. Part of him was happy for that, but he couldn't help but to be impressed. If he were the romantic type, he might think that it was a match made in heaven; the gifted driver and the gifted golf prodigy, almost as corny as his brother's predicament over the cute fellow FD driver from Saitama that he refused to admit he wanted to pursue. 'So it, I,...this, is separate for him. Okay.'

"You have everything?" Ryousuke asked when he saw Takumi checking his bag.

"Uh, no. Almost," he replied as he ducked into the bathroom. Ryousuke could hear the water running as he moved in the direction of the front door, and, a couple of minutes later, the downhiller emerged from the bedroom, placing his toothbrush into the front pocket of his bag. "Okay. I'm ready to go," Takumi said softly, picking up his sneakers and looking down at himself. "I hope where we're going is casual. I'm...a slob."

 _Dumbass._

Ryousuke looked him up and down, unabashedly, smirking at the blush that crossed Takumi's cheeks. "You look fine. And, we're just going to a cafe I like to go to when I'm on campus. It's kind of a student hang out, more t-shirts than sport coats, I promise."

Takumi frowned. "I guess."

Ryousuke sighed, crossed the floor, and walked back into the bedroom, seeing the famous inferiority complex that Takumi tended to display at times surface slightly. He walked into the closet, and rifled through the most casual clothes he had at the apartment. Finding a basic navy blue polo shirt he thought would fit, he returned. "Here. Put this on then. It's pressed."

 _Of course it is._

The younger man hesitated to take the proffered shirt. "Ryousuke, never mind, it's okay. I-"

"Just put it on or I'll do it for you." Ryousuke was getting a bit impatient. How he wished that Takumi would have as much overall confidence in himself as Keisuke did. This was one area, at least, in which Keisuke had Fujiwara beat by tenfold. He obviously _had_ confidence, under very specific circumstances, and, it delighted Ryousuke to have seen it the night before. When Takumi had become bold at times in their intimacy, it was exhilarating. This morning, he seemed to be back and forth, unsure, then witty, then open, then closed. His complexity of being was as profound his mastery of the hachi-roku.

Takumi frowned again, looking at the shirt.

 _Crap. It's nice and probably ridiculously expensive. But...it looks smaller than what I normally wear. He's thinner than I am. Wait. I'm thinking about his body again. Idiot! Just put the damn thing on!_

Takumi sighed, realizing there was no way the polo would fit with his baggy t-shirt on underneath. He whisked it off, and put on the dark blue shirt with a fluid motion that Ryousuke wished hadn't been so brief. He tugged at it a little, rolling his shoulders once. It was long enough, but it was a bit more fitted than he was used to. He ruefully thought it probably fit Ryousuke perfectly, hanging loosely at his waist and shoulders...

 _Stop. Now._

"Happy?" he grumbled, stuffing his t-shirt in his backpack.

Ryousuke was more than pleased; Takumi could wear that every day for all he cared. He stepped forward and couldn't stop himself from following the contours of Takumi's upper body with a light touch from the hand not holding the hanger that held last night's dress clothes. Takumi was blushing again.

 _All he has to do is touch me, and I feel it. Oh God, how did it get to be like this? Why didn't he tell me anything? But, if he had said something before, would I have kissed him?_

As if sensing to where his thoughts had just strayed, Ryousuke leaned in and kissed him, gently parting his lips with his tongue, then pulling back, careful not to let it get too far out of hand. "I approve," he affirmed, his voice barely over a whisper.

 _Was that all it took to get him interested? Just changing my shirt? I don't get this…is this really Ryousuke? I guess he is older…I guess he knows about stuff like this… He could have told me. I don't think I would have flipped out…I was already really conscious of him since the day I met him!_

"Ryousuke, was it true what you said before?" Takumi asked tentatively.

"Hmm? About what?"

 _Should I really be asking this? But…I need to make sure I heard him right.._

"About you being…," he took a breath, "sort of.."

"Sort of…what?"

Takumi's face had lost its playfulness and turned a bit more serious; he took another breath. "Were you really…attracted to me for months like you said?" The words came out quiet and fast, but he figured Ryousuke had heard him well enough.

 _Idiot. But I want to know. Am I…attractive to him…?_

Ryousuke chuckled softly. "Yeah."

"And you never said anything to me," Takumi added with a confused expression.

"How could I tell you something like that?" Ryousuke asked in a hushed tone.

They stood in silence for a few seconds; it appeared that Takumi was trying to process a few things. Ryousuke allowed it; truly, he had a hard time with Takumi's up and down emotions, but he figured if it was important enough for the younger man to ask about, then it was important enough for him to answer honestly. He was grateful that Takumi was trying very hard to understand this "after" world with him, so he knew he had to try and have patience. He was pretty sure that Takumi was probably asking a lot of internal questions about him, and about himself too, but he wanted the younger man to dictate the pace of his own discoveries. The last thing Ryousuke wanted was to give him too much to think about all at once, but he probably had done that already. He resolved to let the conversation evolve organically, and if he had to be uncomfortable talking about this with the younger one, so be it. Takumi was worth every bit of anything he could give.

"I guess. It's because I'm not a girl, right?"

"That's only partly the case," Ryousuke said. "It's also because you were on the team. As the leader of the team, it would not have been appropriate. In fact, as amazing as I found everything to be, and for how much I'm enjoying your company this morning, I'm still kind of wrestling with how appropriate it was of me to do what I did last night."

 _I don't get him…he kisses me on his own. He's giving me these looks, looks that tell me he liked what we did. He was happy. It was so nice seeing him so relaxed and happy because I know he almost never relaxes! Is some kind of reality setting in for him now that i asked him if he was attracted to me? Why does it really matter if I'm not sure about some stuff in my head? I'll figure it out eventually…_

"You mean what _we_ did. You didn't decide for me how far to take it," Takumi said firmly.

"While that may be true,-"

"It's actually pretty hard to get me to do something I don't want to do," Takumi interrupted sternly. "If i didn't want to do it, then I wouldn't have. I'm not sure about what's appropriate and what's not, and I'm not sure about a lot of things in my head right now, but that's okay for now, isn't it?"

Ryousuke was unsure of how to respond to that. The sense of danger began to return, and his internal alarm bells started up again, but this was the most Takumi had ever talked to him. He needed to have him get this out.

' _Don't confuse him.'_

"I don't think that's ok, Takumi, actually," he responded honestly. It unnerved him to speak such truths aloud, but, he knew that he'd feel like even more of an asshole if Takumi were to think he had been taken advantage of someday. There would be no way of keeping him in his life even as a friend if Takumi decided that the night before had been a horrible mistake.

"Why not? I don't have to know every reason for everything I do right away, do I? I don't know _your_ reasons, so why do you have to make sure I know my own?

"Well," Ryousuke replied cautiously, "I understand myself more than I understand you. That's why I suppose I need to make sure you didn't do any of this with the wrong motivation. If you did, I'm not sure I could forgive myself."

 _What's that supposed to mean? Now he's overcomplicating things again. I can't understand him when he does that. I just wanted to do it. That should be good enough for today for crying out loud._

Takumi's brows furrowed. "I already said I didn't regret it. Why isn't that enough for you? Why do I have to have a reason for doing anything?"

Ryousuke exhaled. "It relieved me to hear you say that," he began, "but you have seen a side of me that almost no one else has. I can't help but to be cautious about that."

Takumi's face flushed for a split second, but the determination in his eyes did not disappear. "I _have_ seen different sides of you, even if you think I don't notice. You weren't cautious in Kanagawa when you pulled me aside and told me to string the opponent along for a few corners then, 'crush him after that'. Someone who's cool and collected all the time wouldn't put it like that!"

"That's different," Ryousuke replied calmly in response to Takumi's elevated volume. What did that have to do with going to bed with him anyway? Ryousuke had thought he had made some progress with translating Takumi's often roundabout way of expressing himself, but he couldn't understand why his battle advice would come into play in this situation. Part of him was glad they were actually having a conversation where Takumi was saying more than two words at a time, but he supposed that it would take more than one night alone with him to make their conversations easier.

"No, it's _not_ different," Takumi returned with a frustration laced scowl. "I know I'm not good at explaining things. Forget it."

Ryousuke shook his head. "I'm sorry I don't understand-"

"Stop _apologizing!"_ Takumi retorted. "If you keep doing that, I really will think we did something wrong!"

"It wasn't wrong," Ryousuke asserted sternly. "But, if I'm saying to you that I don't understand something, don't just tell me to 'forget it'. You should know me well enough by now to know that I do not accept incomplete explanations, but I will give you all the chances in the world to get me to understand. Don't stubbornly decide for yourself that I'm not selfish for wanting you the way I do, or equate coaching you as your team leader to taking you to bed with me."

"You decided for yourself that you were attracted to me for some reason and you never let me know! How's that any less stubborn?! Don't I deserve to know why?!"

 _Should I really be yelling at him like this? Why am I mad? What the hell am I doing here?_

Ryousuke let Takumi's thoughts sink in for a few seconds. He had to admit he had a point, but he still couldn't figure out what meaning Takumi was trying so desperately to convey to him. Why was it so hard for his downhiller to accept that he simply didn't want him unsure of himself, that he'd feel like he was taking something precious from someone younger and less experienced than he was? When he was younger, he found that it was a struggle to keep this part of himself at bay, secret from everyone. Even at 24 years old, wasn't he still basically doing that, even to the point where he had ruled out all other partners aside from Tsugumi?

"Why aren't you saying anything, Ryousuke?" Takumi asked, lowering his voice.

Truly, Ryousuke felt he'd already taken that precious something, even if it was given willingly, he was now 100% certain Takumi had never been with another man; it wouldn't surprise him to find out that he wasn't exactly a virgin, but, then again, it wouldn't really surprise him to find out that he had been. He didn't _know._ That was the most dangerous part of the younger man; there _were_ still too many unknowns, despite the fact that his body was so sinfully sexy and responsive. Takumi had no idea of the power he wielded just by being himself, the power to bring fantasy and dreams into Ryousuke's reality with shocking tangibility.

"You were supposed to be untouchable, and I touched you," Ryousuke whispered. More firmly, he added, "I was the one who crossed the line, and, God help me, I'll cross it again a million times if you let me. I told you that you have no idea what you do to me, have been doing to me without even knowing. Telling you, touching you, was _not supposed to be an option."_

Takumi could feel his face heat; he thought he might understand a little. If he could have calmed down for half a second and thought about it logically instead of just spewing out whatever, of course he knew Ryousuke couldn't tell him something like that. He was a _guy_ and not some girl. Guys don't go around telling other guys they've got the hots for them. Isn't that the very same reason why he always felt like a huge dork around the older man in the first place? For some reason, he just hadn't thought that someone like Ryousuke could ever have that type of insecurity; he was so confident in everything. The guy was certainly confident in bed, having given him sensations he never thought his body could provide.

"You've touched me plenty of times," he said, lowering his voice.

"Cracks in the facade," Ryousuke replied, reaching for, and gently grasping Takumi's wrist with his free hand. The gesture seemed to have an added calming effect on a fiery temper he had suspected Takumi to possess, but that which he had never really begun to see until these moments.

"I…didn't mind…you touching me after a race…I just thought…"

Ryousuke moved his hand to Takumi's fingertips, barely gracing them with his own, waiting for Takumi to finish.

"I just thought…it meant you were happy with the way I drove the course…even though I sometimes did crazy things that weren't part of your plans…"

"Those unpredictable 'crazy things' were always part of my plans…"

Takumi was silent for a moment, deep in thought.

"Okay," Takumi said, returning from the brief reverie, "Then I think I understand something about you now that I didn't before. You wanted me to show you something new about my driving." Ryousuke saw a wisp of a smile cross Takumi's lips as he pulled his hand away.

"Always. And you never disappointed me."

"And now I showed you something new about _me_. And, I guess, you wanted that too. So it's the _same,_ whether it's about the driving, or just about me. That still doesn't explain why you couldn't have said something to me."

"You're forgetting an important factor."

"What?" Takumi frowned visibly.

"This is a side of me you were never supposed to see. I was never supposed to allow myself to show it to you. Each time I did touch you, it was in those moments where my restraint wasn't perfect enough to avoid it."

"Who made that rule?" Takumi grumbled.

Ryousuke chuckled again softly. "Self-imposed," he returned simply.

"What _were_ you trying to make me see?" Takumi felt himself getting riled up again. Why the hell did Ryousuke always expect him to _think_?

"Hmm…I wanted you to have confidence in me as the leader of the team. It was best for you to see that side alone so you could continue to grow as a driver, even if it meant I had to be a little bit distant on a personal level. Luckily, Keisuke was eventually able to be there for you for that. Of course, I was not entirely successful at keeping my personal distance during the Project, as you pointed out."

"I've always had confidence in you!" his Ace replied, shouting again, or as close to a shout as Ryousuke had ever heard from him, that hot temper flaring in his eyes, turning them all sorts of impossible shades that Ryousuke had never seen before. Ryousuke mentally prepared himself, wishing he could climb inside the very brain of his downhiller so he could know what the hell Takumi would say next.

"And you may think," he continued, volume ever increasing, "that you've got this persona, I guess, that you need to keep up for appearances. I'm not a person who does that, and even Keisuke-san isn't like that, so I don't really know, but I saw another side of you when we _raced_ , when you were right on my _ass_ on the Akina downhill, _stalking_ me until I _fucked up_ somewhere, and I didn't even have to see your face in the back mirror!"

Ryousuke felt his own eyes widen; it was all he could do not to interrupt the younger man, who stiffened visibly, another flash of anger appearing in those damn gorgeous eyes and a fist clenching roughly at his side. Where the hell did this passionate anger come from? He really needed to learn how to understand Takumi better. _Immediately._

"When you overtook me, I _watched_ you drive! That means I watched _you!_ I knew right away that you were not that aloof guy up at the summit, so don't give me this _shit_ about restraining yourself all this time, because you didn't bother doing that one of the very first times we ever _met_! You could have said something and I wouldn't have freaked out! So it shouldn't matter to you that I'm not sure exactly what is in my head, because I'm still just trying to show you things, even if I don't know what the hell I'm _doing_! But you should know that I've always thought _you_ were the untouchable one!"

What could he possibly say to that? This must be what his Ace had been trying to tell him before, that he was the same person both behind the wheel and not behind the wheel. It was apparent that he'd pissed him off for not being quick on the uptake, but, really, _shouldn't_ he be worried about him? He should, even as a decent human being, never mind as someone who actually cared about the guy's well-being in every sense of _everything_? What was wrong with that anyway? He was only trying to take responsibility for his actions with a partner for once, instead of being his normal asshole, bastard self. That, by any normal person's calculations, ought to have been exactly the right thing to do, so, why the hell wasn't it working with Takumi?

There was no way the downhill Ace was sure about what he was doing here; he admitted it himself. So, of course it was difficult for Ryousuke to stop worrying about how much the younger man really wanted this to happen. Why was it so difficult for Takumi to understand why he could never have said anything to him, that he never should have found out about that simmering attraction that had been lingering within all this time? Why was it so jarring to hear that Takumi had also thought him to be untouchable? And, why was it also _so fucking difficult_ not to drop everything in his hands and drag that sexy tight-polo-shirt-wearing body right back to the bedroom to teach him a lesson after hearing him shout like that?

Ryousuke needed time to process this. He needed to think about everything the younger said and analyze it rationally. He hadn't counted on Takumi having these feelings since their race; he hadn't had a clue about that, and, it appeared Takumi hadn't been sure about what those feelings were either. Perhaps he still wasn't sure. They needed to step back and think.

"Takumi, we should get go-"

"No! I'm not letting you walk away and prove me wrong, pretending to be cool! Right now, you just happen to be within arm's reach!"

His downhiller looked like he had absolutely no interest in stepping back to consider what happened the previous night to make sure he was truly okay with it. Ryousuke needed that assurance, but it did not look like Takumi was anywhere close to giving it. Why didn't that scare the shit of the younger man? Why was he willing to just "go with it" despite being unsure of what he was really doing? Ryousuke knew he'd lost control. He should have been the responsible one; he should have stopped. He definitely was not prepared to learn that he had been showing sides of his real self here and there with Takumi without even having realized it. That was too much; how could this young man strip away his facade so easily? There was no way Ryousuke was ready to acknowledge these truths that his young driver could say so overtly. He felt a sensation of being tested, pushed, _exposed;_ no lover should be in a position to do that to him after only one night together, but, here Takumi was, pushing and trying to break through every last one of Ryousuke's carefully crafted walls right off the starting line.

Hearing Takumi convey his thoughts was too much emotional honesty for Ryousuke. He needed space. A moment. A cigarette. A something.

Ryousuke looked into Takumi's eyes, seeing a flicker of something else pass over them. The younger man was breathing hard, and Ryousuke could almost _see_ that snap decision he was thinking of making. Despite not wanting any more dangerous truths to escape the downhiller, Ryousuke felt himself being pulled into his energy anyway. Unbelievably, the stirred feeling from the night before began to reawaken, and the rush that was coming along for the ride was not unlike the feeling of his racer blood igniting. He really needed to calm down. There was no way Takumi would be ready for the raw passion and lust that Ryousuke was beginning to sense was welling up from within. He shouldn't be doing this, letting his mind go to those places it shouldn't be going, but, looking at the gorgeous downhiller, trying to control this urge was like trying to stop a raging river from crashing through a faulty dam. God, this guy was so hot when he was angry. 'Damn it!' he cursed inwardly; getting turned on in this moment was definitely the last thing he should be thinking about. How could this person push his buttons so _expertly_ , so _soon_ , that he had no fucking hope of controlling himself around him?

No. They needed to leave. Now.

"We can talk about this later, Takumi, when we've both had a chance to think it over properly," he replied, not acknowledging anything the younger man said, the truth of it still grating hard on his nerves. He was trying to pull himself and his young Ace back a little from those powerful words, and trying to calm himself from that unsettling need that was welling up from within.

"Thinking isn't going to help me right now," Takumi replied, his voice colored with an eerie calm. Again, Ryousuke felt like he was heading straight into that danger zone, into a corner with no brakes, and there was no guardrail to stop the inevitable crash.

"Let's go," Ryousuke implored. He needed to get out of there before he would show something to Takumi that he was sure the younger was in no way prepared to see.

 _God help me, but I don't give a shit. He doesn't get it! I always thought about him! Part of me always wanted this! I'm not some girl that he needs to make sure that I'm fucking "ok" with this! I'm pissed! I'm doing it. Now._

Takumi watched as Ryousuke walked toward the door, removed his slippers, and raised his free hand to enter the security code on the alarm.

Ryousuke was about to enter the code, thinking he might have put enough space between them so they could leave, when a firm hand grasped his forearm hard enough to where he thought it might actually bruise. He froze. "Takumi..." he whispered. "What are you doing…?"

The next thing Ryousuke knew, he was being whipped around and pushed, hard, his back up against the wall of the vestibule of the apartment. 'Is he fucking crazy?!' he thought wildly. It was sudden, and forceful. And hot. How the hell was he supposed to clear a corner like _this_? The shoe rack that held their shoes toppled over, and Takumi braced his arms onto the walls, effectively trapping Ryousuke between them. He couldn't allow this. Takumi wasn't ready. How could he be? "Takumi...if you don't stop _now_ , I won't be able to..."

" _Stop pissing me off_!" Takumi commanded, almost growling, as he crashed his lips against Ryousuke's mouth, disregarding his mentor's shocked expression. A shot of erotic excitement went through Ryousuke that he could no longer will away. The sensation of being dominated by his young driver, to the extent that Takumi would disregard his typical politeness excited him more than any previous partner ever had.

God, Takumi was so _dangerous_ , all the unknowns making themselves known faster than Ryousuke was prepared to handle them. No one had ever dared to do such a thing with him before, and Ryousuke knew instantly that there would be no holding himself back. Takumi pulled back with his mouth and pressed his hardening groin against Ryousuke's body, roughly jamming his forehead into the man's sternum.

The faulty dam he was trying to shore up came crashing down, and any control he was keeping flowed away with the floodwaters as that firm young body pressed roughly against him.

'Oh, you're in trouble,' Ryousuke thought amid the surge of his own desire and the sound of his mental alarms screeching inside his brain telling him to just get the hell out of there before there was no other option. Takumi was _challenging_ him to find that other option, and Ryousuke was _losing._

Decision made. Other options gone. _He lost_.

"Fuck," he cursed quietly. He dropped everything he was holding and raised his hands to grab and lift Takumi's beautiful pissed off face from his chest. He held him firmly, locking their lips together, then thrusted his tongue through them as deep as he could possibly get it with Takumi responding with his own in a battle of sheer will and want as he tried to do the same goddamn thing.

Ryousuke broke the kiss abruptly by pushing Takumi away, his hands still clasped to Takumi's flushed cheeks.

"Is this what you want to see?!" he spat, shedding all pretenses. If Takumi was challenging him directly, this was the downhiller's very last opportunity to pull back from it. Ryousuke was staring him down, searching for any hesitation in his protégé.

There was no hesitation, no shock in Takumi's expression at all. Only those determined eyes, those damn "fuck me" eyes and that goddamn sinful body that destroyed all of Ryousuke's restraint. Every man has a limit with desire that, once exceeded, he can no longer hold back. And Takumi had just shattered that limit.

" _Fine then_."

Ryousuke let go of his downhiller's face, then immediately grabbed him by the front of his jeans, pulling him back to contact with his own body as he unfastened the button and shoved down the zipper. Takumi clamped his eyes shut, as Ryousuke gripped his arousal firmly and began to outright devour the younger man's neck with his mouth.

Takumi was struggling to rid the sport coat from Ryousuke's body. When it finally fell to the floor after a frantic tangling of limbs and sleeves, he threw his head back, gasping as Ryousuke squeezed him firmly again through his shorts. Ryousuke pushed himself off the wall, his hand never leaving the erection of the other. He spun Takumi quickly around and forced him against the opposite wall, his chest hitting it with a dull thud, and a low grunt escaping him. Ryousuke pressed himself up against his back firmly enough so that he knew Takumi would feel his arousal. He grabbed a fistful of hair and yanked, pulling his lover's head back so he could whisper hotly into his ear.

"If this is what you want, you have exactly _five seconds_ to get this hot body of yours into my bed," Ryousuke rasped into Takumi's ear, taking his earlobe firmly with his teeth and pulling hard on Takumi's body, his hand slipping through the opening in Takumi's shorts and touching his hot and hard flesh.

Takumi was straining to breathe in response to Ryousuke's urgent jerks of his length and the taut sting of his hair pulled so forcefully. "If...you can wait that long...," he sputtered between pained gasps, "I'll wonder if you really want me!"

Ryousuke could feel his eyes roll back as they closed, and he clenched his teeth, his fingers still gripping Takumi's hair. "Of course I fucking want you," he hissed. "But if I take you here, now..."

" _What?!_ " Takumi impatiently spat.

"I will _hurt_ you!" he seethed lowly into an ear, rocking his hips sharply into Takumi's back once.

 _So the hell what?! I want you NOW! Don't you get it?!_

"Just do it!" Takumi breathed. " _I won't fucking break_!"

The desperation in Takumi's voice, overthrew absolutely all of Ryousuke's remaining better judgment. He released his grip of Takumi's hair and roughly put his hand under his shirt, frantically feeling the perfectly toned body, as the younger man heaved in response to the continued stroking of his erection. "Get this shirt off."

As Takumi put his hands down to lift the polo shirt off, Ryousuke abruptly grabbed the jeans and shorts and yanked them down to where they fell to his ankles, his hands instinctively squeezing the firm flesh of Takumi's ass and his thighs. Once the shirt was off him, Takumi reached back with his right hand, and grabbed Ryousuke's hand, bringing his mentor's touch back to his momentarily neglected arousal. Ryousuke heard a low growl escape his own throat as he nipped the nape of his lover's neck. "How in fucking hell could you think..." he breathed, between bites not so gentle, "...that I wouldn't want...this?!" he asked breathlessly as he squeezed Takumi's ass again.

"Ryou..suke..." Takumi sighed, now lost in the sensation of Ryousuke's hands roaming his body, stroking him to a breaking point. Ryousuke knew it would be quick, and rough, but he didn't fucking care. Takumi had pushed him so far over the edge of reason that all he wanted to do was bury himself in that gorgeously tight ass.

Takumi hadn't thought it through, he hadn't fully realized that the normally composed Ryousuke could be like this, like how he was in his own most secret, and mostly un-admitted fantasies. It was frightening but so damn exciting. The man's slender body belied his ferocity. Takumi had never in his young life been as turned on by anyone as he was whenever Ryousuke kissed him, touched him, undressed him. Especially not like _this_. Now he _knew_ he was seeing part of who Ryousuke really _was_. He wasn't sure what it all meant, what it said about him, or if it was more about Ryousuke than it was about himself. But, whatever it was, he fucking wanted it, and he didn't care about Ryousuke trying to get him to classify it.

Ryousuke had Takumi's nakedness displayed in front of him, his young body shuddering with every rough touch, and low groans emitting from his mouth. ' _He's so fucking perfect._ ' He took his left hand and unfastened his own pants, and started to unbutton his shirt, all the while biting and sucking Takumi's neck and stroking him, the sound of Takumi's moans and sighs driving him crazy as Ryousuke continued pushing him into the wall with his thigh between those naked legs. Takumi's body was so responsive, it was maddening, like some kind of perfect machine that had a one hundred percent connection between physical sensation and emotional instinct. Having finally managed to unbutton his shirt with only one hand, he hurriedly removed his arms from its sleeves, barely disrupting his rhythmic attention to Takumi's arousal. Takumi would not last long, but, obviously he wasn't about to start caring about that now. He just needed to get _off._

Ryousuke wasn't thinking anymore about regrets or about the pain he was about to inflict on his protégé's gorgeous body. The thought of experiencing Takumi's tightness again was sending a throbbing ache to his own body, and he needed the relief of an immediate release. Did Takumi honestly understand what he was asking for? Ryousuke didn't have time now to consider and he didn't fucking care. Even though it would be rough, even though he felt like his desire was blinding him by the second, with Takumi, it _was_ different somehow. Ryousuke suddenly had the notion that, in the end, this wouldn't exactly turn out to be like the other quick, hard fucks he'd had in the past.

He pushed his pants down and stepped out of them. When he pressed his naked erection up against Takumi from behind, Takumi drew in his breath sharply. He slipped his left arm around Takumi's ribcage, passing over, then roughly pinching his nipples which were hard and, he discovered by way of hearing him half-whimper and half-sigh, extremely sensitive. Ryousuke rested his head on Takumi's shoulder, his hand kneading Takumi's chest, then that luscious ass, his body involuntarily seeking the feeling of skin on skin. He released his hold on Takumi's arousal, the hand joining his other hand in a renewed and heated exploration of his chest and torso. He could hear Takumi muttering something angry and unintelligible under his breath as he clenched his teeth and drew his hands into fists on the wall.

" _Ryousuke...!_ " Takumi gasped. Ryousuke could see his profile, and Takumi's eyes were squeezed shut again in concentration, or maybe, frustration, that hands were on his chest and not elsewhere. Ryousuke glanced downward, and saw that Takumi's body was swollen and probably aching for release, the moisture already beginning to gather upon it. The sight of him in an agonizing state of want was more than Ryousuke could handle. "Fucking _touch_ me!"

'Oh dear God…'

The wild thought barely registered as Ryousuke immediately lowered his right hand to Takumi's erection, receiving a hissed sigh of relief from him that Ryousuke's hand had found his body again. He kept his strokes fast and rhythmic; the sounds of Takumi's short intakes of breath and of the occasional hit to the wall with his fists were deliciously arousing.

Ryousuke unlaced his left arm from around Takumi's body and brought his fingers to the younger man's mouth. He traced his jaw, feeling that the younger man's teeth were still clenched. "Open your mouth. Now," he commanded hotly into his ear.

Takumi did not hesitate, and Ryousuke placed two fingers inside Takumi's mouth, getting them wet with saliva. Amazingly, not only did Takumi allow their presence, he began sucking on them, rolling his tongue around them which caused Ryousuke to involuntarily squeeze harder on his body. Takumi shuddered, and his mouth opened of its own accord. Ryousuke took his moistened fingers and found Takumi's entrance, pushing them in with an urgency that caused Takumi to immediately tense. Ryousuke knew he wouldn't be able to prepare him as well as he should, but too fucking bad. He'd _asked_ for this, _demanded_ this, and goddamn it, he was going to _get_ it.

He pushed with his insistent fingers, forcing Takumi to accept a rhythm which he hoped would help to open his body. He felt that Takumi was growing harder. "Is this really what you wanted to see?!" he snapped.

" _What the fuck are you waiting for?!"_ Takumi shot back.

" _Oh you are beyond dangerous,_ " Ryousuke growled. He withdrew his fingers, and switched hands, bringing his other hand to his own mouth, wetting his fingers, and then bringing them down to his own length.

Without warning, verbal or otherwise, he forced his body deep inside his that of his lover's, and Takumi cried out. Feeling the tight heat of him on his bare flesh was too much. He thrust hard, anchoring the supine body to his own with a firm hand on his hip as the other remained focused on Takumi's length. He kept pushing; the cries Takumi tried to muffle were only making him move faster, harder. He could feel Takumi stiffen within his hand.

A second later, Takumi's body clamped down, and he cried out again as he came into Ryousuke's hand. Ryousuke felt the pressure in his own groin and the feeling of Takumi's wet release on his fingers. He let go of Takumi's length and gripped his thigh, steadying him. His final thrusts were raw and deep, and he came hard, feeling himself fill Takumi's body. Takumi was trembling, supporting himself with the wall, and Ryousuke let his forehead fall onto the young man's back, his arms encircling him, his palms flattened against that gorgeously shaped heaving chest.

Then, something surprised him more than Takumi's behavior, more than even his own. He suddenly craved for an embrace and closeness never given to nor received from any prior partner after doing something so reckless and raw.

Places on Takumi's body where he had bitten, he now wanted to soothe. Places where he had grabbed and pinched, he now wanted to caress. Erotically demanding, ugly phrases spoken in the heat of passion he now wanted to replace with reassuring words of… _love_?

He blinked back the moisture that was gathering at the corner of his eyes.

How could Takumi bring so many different sides of him out in the open so quickly? It was _terrifying._

Ryousuke seemed to be frozen in place, his forehead still connected to Takumi's shuddering form. He was blinking rapidly, trying to keep his unexpected tears from gathering at the corners of his eyes.

He was not really an emotional person. He _wasn't._ He'd had times like this with a couple of other partners and it never affected him this way. _Never_. So why was it so easy to completely lose himself with Takumi that way he had? How was it that he could have such utterly _mindblowing_ sex with a person who probably had close to _zero_ experience?! Why did Takumi have to push him so _far_ that some of the deepest, darkest, ugliest parts of him had to be revealed to the one person to whom he never wanted to show it in the first place?

He heard Takumi choke on his breath a little, and Ryousuke raised his head, taking a couple of reassuring breaths to calm himself from the seemingly endless rush of adrenaline and endorphins coursing through his body. Takumi's head was down; his hands remained balled into white-knuckled fists against the wall. Ryousuke still had his arms around the younger man, and he tightened his grip on him as he pulled out of his body. Takumi's body tensed in a slight resistance to the movement, and he shuddered again when he felt the warmth of a little of the liquid release leave his body. Ryousuke needed to get him into the shower and let the hot water wash over him.

Calming himself further, and without a word, Ryousuke raised his arms, and put his hands over Takumi's. He pulled him from the wall and back into his body, loosening his lover's tightly balled fists by uncoiling his fingers and entwining them together with his own and bringing his arms down to cross in front of his waist. The younger nearly collapsed into him; Ryousuke held his forearms steady across his abdomen. Takumi's eyes were still closed, and his chest was still heaving in ragged bursts of breath. "Can you move?" he whispered into sweat-dampened hair, trying to be as soothing as possible, taking one of his hands and moving it upward to gently stroke a cheek with his fingertips, barely touching. Takumi nodded once. 'Shit, Takahashi. You've hurt him.'

For once in his life, Ryousuke was at a loss for words. It was as if neither one of them knew exactly what had just happened just after the most climactic seconds had passed. Somehow, Ryousuke managed to lead Takumi back into the bathroom, leaving physical contact with him only to turn on the water in the shower. Luckily, it heated fast, and he stepped in, guiding Takumi to follow. Takumi only hesitated a split second before entering the bath, and, perhaps out of some subconscious need within him, he stood with his back against Ryousuke's chest. Ryousuke said nothing, thankful for the contact and showing it by gently squeezing Takumi on the shoulder and soothing with his lips some of the small red marks he'd left on the younger driver's pristine flesh. He wanted to encircle him in his arms again, kiss him tenderly, reassure him, and give into those very dangerous feelings he really did not want to name. But, for some unknown reason, he just couldn't do it even though he really wanted to do nothing more.

 _Why did I want it...like that? Why did I need to make him want that? I just wanted to show him I'm not a girl and I'm not a kid and he doesn't need to decide things for me! But that…that was…_

Ryousuke let the water fall on them for a few minutes, desperately wondering what Takumi was thinking. He found that he didn't even want to dare to ask; he was astonished to realize that he was actually afraid to hear what Takumi's thoughts would be, now that he'd given him exactly what he had asked for. Ryousuke was pretty sure he knew what was going on within himself one hundred percent, but it's not like he could make that leap to actually forming the thought coherently and then having to deal with that type of complication.

Takumi _was_ dangerous to bring him this far. For the first time, Ryousuke felt as naked emotionally as his body was physically, and Takumi having a girlfriend was now officially not what Ryousuke wanted. It simply wasn't fine at all, no matter that he had no right to think that way. This person was so amazing, so fascinating, so hot…he had this overwhelming urge to completely _possess_ him. He had no idea that someone could do this to him after he spent so many years of burying his feelings so deep within that they should have never been able to surface.

Terrifying.

If Takumi were to refuse him now...

 _I've seen how he is now, or how he can be if I push hard enough. I had no idea it could be like that with him. I had no idea that I could be like that! I…couldn't, be that way with Mika-chan. I wasn't that way with Mogi...why do I keep comparing this to Mogi? I used to think that I...loved...her..._

Ryousuke finally started to feel Takumi's heart rate slow as they continued to stand back to chest. 'Okay,' he thought. He glanced downward, relieved that there was no visible blood at least, though he knew that what lay beneath the surface of Takumi's body was likely a different story.

He gave Takumi another gentle press on his shoulder, and bathed himself. Takumi hadn't moved an inch, as if he was in a state of semi-shock, and the sight of him like that was too much for Ryousuke to handle. He _warned_ him, but that sexy, stubborn thing just kept right on pushing until Ryousuke was so worked up that he didn't remember to care about the pain or the injuries he knew he was causing.

Once he had finished bathing, he reached outside the shower for a clean washcloth. He moved a bit closer to Takumi, gently putting both hands on the younger man's shoulders. Takumi flinched a little, but he allowed the contact. Taking that as permission, and desperately needing to bring him around from that shocked-looking repose, Ryousuke finally found himself to be able to give in to his need to embrace that incredible creature in way that he never thought he could be capable of doing with anyone.

 _Why do I want him to keep holding me like that? Did I ever hold Mogi like that? Have I ever held Mika-chan like that? No. There is really something wrong with me, isn't there, I thought I was being tough, and now all I want him to do is let me lean on him…_

"Please don't be angry with me…" Ryousuke finally managed to say, tenderly kissing Takumi's temple.

"I just wanted to know all about you…even what you didn't want me to know…" Takumi responded softly.

"And now…?"

"Yeah…"

"Takumi…?"

"I'm not pissed off anymore…I saw what I needed to see…"

"Okay…"

"Just don't decide things all on your own about me, or _for_ me…I don't like that."

"Okay…"

Takumi remained still, but Ryousuke could feel a subtle relaxation of the tension in Takumi's frame. He squeezed his shoulders again lightly, and he reached down to put some soap on the washcloth. He tentatively brought it to Takumi's back and began to bathe him, not used to this sudden need to be so intimate with another person. Takumi was still, but he allowed it. Ryousuke took Takumi's right arm, lightly running the washcloth down the length of it, slightly lacing his fingers with Takumi's as he drew his arm back to rinse the lather away. When Takumi leaned back a little, his back coming into contact with Ryousuke's body again, he did the same to the other side. 'Okay. He's letting me. Okay.'

He continued to wash him, his chest, his torso, and tentatively, his lower body. He felt Takumi hold his breath for a few seconds, exhaling as Ryousuke continued on to less sensitive parts of his body. He moved the washcloth to his thigh, and moved his other arm to Takumi's hip with a reassuring touch. He pressed his lips to the nape of Takumi's neck, kissing the red marks where he had nipped him in a barely-there brush that might easily have been mistaken for the running water of the shower. Takumi wasn't particularly responsive, but he wasn't pulling away. Ryousuke inhaled a breath, and bent at the knees, washing Takumi's legs. He winced a little at the sight of a few purplish contusions that blemished his young lover's otherwise flawless skin, knowing that it was his hands that had put them there. 'So fucking selfish.'

As Ryousuke continued to bathe Takumi's thighs, he saw a small water-diluted rivulet of blood following the contour of his leg. He closed his eyes. He told himself it was because the water from the spray of the shower was getting in the way of his sight. He knew differently, but guilt had to wait. 'Will he allow this? Shit. I have to. I can't ignore that,' Ryousuke thought, opening his eyes, trying to do a discreet visual examination of Takumi's body, knowing that he needed to treat the injury he had caused. Whether Takumi was willing to allow it or not, Ryousuke's medical training took over.

He rose and drew back the curtain a little and stepped out of the shower. Takumi cast a furtive glance toward Ryousuke as the older man was pulling something he couldn't really see out of a drawer.

 _What is he doing?_

He moved slightly so he could get a better look. Then, he felt his cheeks heat in the embarrassment that came with understanding.

 _Idiot. Medicine. Of course he knows that I'm...hurt there. He warned me. Do I really need to let him? Shit. He'll probably do it anyway, even if I say something. He's going to be a doctor. Moron._

Ryousuke had retrieved a small tube of ointment. He moved back toward the shower, and released the tap so that the water flowed from the faucet and not from the shower overhead. He dried his hands with a clean towel and stood behind Takumi again, running the index finger of his free hand down Takumi's cheek. Takumi's eyes were closed, and his body was tense again. Apparently, Takumi understood what Ryousuke was about to do.

"I have to," he whispered.

Takumi nodded, but otherwise, he didn't move. He said nothing.

Ryousuke could hear Takumi's breathing become a little more pronounced. He gently massaged his shoulder, and trailed his hand down Takumi's back, carefully applying the medicine with the fingers of his other hand. Luckily, it didn't seem to be as bad as he had feared, and relief washed over him. He couldn't see Takumi's facial reactions, but he knew that he was hurting by the slight tensing of his body, and the even more slight hiss of response to a sting. 'Okay. Done.' It was perfunctory, at best, but it was all he dared do. He stepped out of the shower, returned the water overhead, and washed his hands in the sink in the oft practiced manner of a medical student. He left the ointment by the sink, letting Takumi decide for himself if he wanted to take it. He also got out a bottle of Asprin, and put it next to the cup by the sink in a subtle suggestion to Takumi that he take a couple.

He returned to the shower, and, thankfully, Takumi seemed to be a little more relaxed again. 'Good.' He laced one hand in one of Takumi's hands and brushed his lips lightly again on Takumi's neck, hearing a small exhalation escape the younger man. 'I'm so…sorry you saw me like that, even if you wanted to,' he said to himself.

Ryousuke didn't blink fast enough, and a tear fell, thankfully obscured by the running water. He only hoped that Takumi wouldn't hate him for what he allowed to happen once he had the chance to think about it. He should have stopped him. But, as he had told Fumihiro, he was only human too. When it came to the beautiful young man before him, Ryousuke had to admit that he had complete loss of control.

 _He's wonderful. I really don't deserve him. He was so...careful. How could he be like that, and then be like...before? Wait. I liked it too. There is definitely something wrong with me. But, Ryousuke...he didn't stop either…so…was it wrong, or not? I don't know!_

Takumi was still deep in thought, and Ryousuke decided to leave him alone for a while. He planted a final reassuring kiss on Takumi's neck. "Come out when you want to," he said quietly as he exited the shower, wrapping himself in a towel.

 _Why did he leave? He didn't seem upset. He was...caring for me. Okay. Maybe he already knows I just need to think. When Mogi left for Tokyo, it was the right thing. It felt right. It was okay. When Ryousuke leaves, will I want him to stay instead? Or, when he goes, will I lose it the same way I lost it when I found out what Mogi did with her friend's father...? No. I can't do that. I won't._

As Ryousuke left the bathroom, electing to towel himself dry in the bedroom, the image of Takumi in that shocked state tugged naggingly at the elder's sense of responsibility. Takumi's own words said he saw what he needed to see, but could he really be that tough? What the hell kind of learning curve was that? If he really was that tough, Ryousuke knew his admiration of his Ace would truly have no limits.

He remembered how shocking it had been for him the first time he had ever been with another man. He had to question everything he thought he knew about himself, what people would think of him, and what implications it could have for his family. Because of those things, he had chosen discretion in favor of living without it at all; he liked it too much to ignore it. He had known all too well that, someday, it would have to be totally left behind. But that hazy future had seemed very vague and far away to him when he was eighteen.

Now, at twenty-four, the time to end his discreet affairs was imminent. Until this weekend, he had trained his mind into some form of quiet acceptance, carefully crafting a logical simulation to provide for a certain measure of happiness in the face of leaving part of himself behind. He was always confident that he would be fine with it; his last almost-year or so of self-imposed denial, the lack of physical contact with other people, seemed to bear out that perceived truth nicely. Now, he wasn't so sure, and he chided himself for having such a reckless thought. There was no room in his future for this, and the beginning of that future was now commencing with the ending of Project D and with getting Keisuke and Takumi secure in the professional racing world.

He suddenly realized that it had been so easy to decide to leave his male lovers behind because he had never felt like he was losing anything more than his preferred way to get off.

When he told Keisuke about Tsugumi, he had heard the sound of his own voice. Calculating. Cold. Detached. Even Keisuke had agreed, and the look on his otouto's face told him that he was startled by it somewhat. There was no mention of what Tsugumi might have wanted, only that which Ryousuke needed. Her affable charm and, eventually, her body, would have been more than enough for him to have a comfortable life, a settled life, firmly planted in his Father's path.

'First Class Prick. Keisuke's more right than he even knows,' he lamented to himself as he dried off and found a new set of clothes to put on. The water had stopped running, but Takumi had yet to emerge.

He now admitted to himself the real reason he went to the club hoping to see Takumi in the first place. Aside from his curiosity about his Downhill Ace, aside from his nagging, persistent feelings of attraction for him, he had to know for sure that he could _leave_ the person who had captivated him as no other had before. If he could walk away from Fujiwara, from Takumi, there would be no attachment that he couldn't overcome, and he could walk away from anyone or anything if need be. Thinking his attraction would never be returned, it would have been a very nice proof for the theory that feelings didn't get in the way of leaving Japan, racing, or even Keisuke, for however long he needed to go.

If there ever was a miscalculation made, it was now. It was so ironic. The last time he felt he had made such a grave misstep was the first battle between the Red Suns and the Akina Speed Stars, the battle that Keisuke lost to a kid driving a car whose main function was the delivery of processed soy products. Unbelievable.

He went back toward the entrance to the apartment to tidy up. He picked up the clothes, including the borrowed polo shirt, which, was still relatively wrinkle free. He picked up Takumi's pants and shorts, and his own, and replaced their shoes on the rack. He glanced into the bedroom and Takumi had still not reappeared. He settled with the laundry, leaving Takumi's clothes on the bed. He returned to the living room, finished cleaning up, and went outside for a cigarette.

Takumi dried himself off and took a long look in the mirror. He also took a couple of Aspirin from the bottle Ryousuke had left on the sink. Ryousuke had also left the medicine. He wondered if he should take that with him too.

 _What are you going to do, Fujiwara? Tell him what you're thinking and ask him to explain stuff. He knows you're an idiot, so get him to give you advice. That's the best way._

Takumi took a deep breath, and opened the door. Ryousuke, as expected, had left him alone, but the bedroom door was open. His clothes were on the bed, ready to be put on again. He winced a little as he bent over to pull on his jeans. He put on the polo.

 _Okay. I'm just telling him. If he gets mad, he'll just take me home. D's over anyway, so, the worst thing that will happen is...shit. I'll figure that out later._

Takumi walked out into the living room, his steps a bit slower, but otherwise not so deliberate as to give away the pain he was in. He saw that Ryousuke was outside again, having a cigarette and writing a text on his phone.

"Ryousuke..."

His mentor looked up, and it looked like he had a somewhat guarded expression on his face as he put out his cigarette and pressed a button, then pocketed his phone into yet another sport coat.

"Did you think a little?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah."

 _Even though I suck at it. Crap._

"Ryousuke," he began again, a little cautiously, raising his index finger to his cheek in a pose Ryousuke had seen from him many times when he was trying to convey something extremely important, but was searching for the words. Sometimes Takumi wasn't the most articulate person, but, the words he said always had a deep meaning once you got down to it. He had a unique way of expressing himself that Ryousuke had mostly, if not perfectly, learned to interpret in the last several months working closely with him in D. For example, if Takumi said a car was a good car, he didn't mean that it was a top-of-the-line racing machine complete with expensive mods and expert tuning. When Fujiwara Takumi said "good car", he meant that the car was worthy of working hard to draw out its potential. Ryousuke patiently waited, hoping he'd get it right this time and not piss off his Ace all over again.

But, this wasn't a conversation about cars, about objects that you could control with your body and mind. This was about something far more intangible, and, Ryousuke assumed, had to be much more frightening for Takumi than barreling downhill at some 120 kph into a corner would ever be. He entered this conversation with equal trepidation too, a sensation that clashed horribly with his normal flat affect toward matters such as these.

"I," Takumi resumed, "don't know why I did that...earlier, or why I did anything I've done. I don't really know what it all means, so don't ask me why anymore right now, or what any of my reasons are, because I don't know and you just have to realize that's kind of how I work. I don't know how I got mad and it turned into….that… But," he paused, "I don't think I'll find the answer if...we stop. At least, until we have to."

Ryousuke closed his eyes, the impact of Takumi's words hit him almost physically. He really was that tough. Holy hell.

He felt a sense of tempered excitement that Takumi wanted to continue to be with him, but there was caution in his tone, and he, of course, had to reference Ryousuke's own expiring hourglass.

"I think I understand, Takumi," he said, as he opened his eyes and walked toward the young man. He put his arms around Takumi's waist. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to do, and I won't decide anything for you. You just need to say something when it's too much."

Takumi furrowed his brow. 'Okay. I didn't get _all_ of it,' Ryousuke thought. He would have to have Takumi try again. "I know there's more. Just tell me."

Takumi hesitated, again, trying to formulate the words, a blush coming to his cheeks. "That's the problem. I'm...afraid that it won't ever be...too much. If it's with you. What happened...over there," he whispered, tilting his head ever so slightly toward the doorway, "I didn't think I could be that way...I mean, I never was that way before. And, after what I felt...the first time, I worry that you might think...less of me for being like that, and...maybe liking it like that sometimes."

 _I'm an idiot. Can I even form a sentence?_

Ryousuke sighed. "Takumi, I should be the one worrying about who thinks less of the other person, not you, but I'm taking you at your word and I'm not going to let that get in the way now." He placed a chaste kiss on Takumi's lips. "If you think you'll figure things out for yourself by continuing this, then we can do that. And," he added tentatively, "things like what just happened do have their place."

"So…you liked it…"

Ryousuke lifted Takumi's chin with two fingers and drew him into a deeply probing kiss. "Are you kidding me…how could I not…" he whispered between more kisses. "You drive me absolutely crazy…"

 _Okay. I guess I'm not some kind of freak. But I honestly don't know if it was wrong or not. What even am I anymore?_

Ryousuke broke the kiss and put his hands on Takumi's flushed cheeks. "Spending time together won't always lead to the bedroom...or anywhere else, but, I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be wanting it anyway, _whatever_ way you're in the mood for. But, in the end, if you decide this is not what you want, that's okay."

Takumi was thinking again. Ryousuke studied his face, and he still had the sense of his own nakedness. When had Takumi gone from a teenager with racing sense that Ryousuke simply had wanted to acquire for his skills behind the wheel, from someone whom he knew would help to prove his theory, to someone who was... _precious_? Takumi's barely spoken reference to Ryousuke's imminent departure for America had struck a chord within him not ever before played. He still had to go; there was no avoiding that, and he hated it. He was getting horribly ahead of himself; the caution in Takumi's voice told him that the young man wasn't sure what answer he might find; no matter what his words were, or how tough he clearly was, there had to be some questioning about himself going on in that brain of his. The thought that Takumi might, at some point before Ryousuke was to leave, discover that he couldn't continue being with him was not a pleasant one. At least, if it was over when Ryousuke left Japan, then distance would ease the sense of loss Ryousuke had to admit he knew he would feel.

"Is this really okay? I know I have to kind of get some stuff right in my head, or it won't be fair… to you."

 _Any advice would be appreciated here! Tell me what the hell is wrong with me, and fix it!_

"Are you looking for some kind of advice, Takumi?" Ryousuke asked, sensing that was the true point behind all of Takumi's words. Damn.

' _Don't confuse him.'_

Of course he had to be feeling confused. For all Fumihiro's admonition was worth, of course confusion would be inevitable. Ryousuke had felt that way himself years ago, and, as Takumi nodded an assent to his question, he tried to tap into that feeling, trying to remember everything about his own battle with desires that were supposed to have been forbidden. He thought that using himself as an example might ease Takumi's apparent perception that there might be something "wrong" with him that needed to be corrected.

"I'm going to tell you something that may surprise you to hear, and it's something I've never told to anyone before, mainly, because there was no one I _could_ have told."

Takumi's expression was filled with the rapt attention Ryousuke had seen dozens of times when they were discussing strategy, or technique, or mods. He sighed. "After I had been with...another man, the first time, I mean, I cried myself to sleep at night for a week."

" _You_ did?" Takumi breathed, his expression now filled with disbelief.

"Yeah."

"Why?" he whispered.

"Because I thought that there must be something dreadfully wrong with me to have liked it, and to want it again. I imagine you might be feeling something like that, right?"

 _Yes! Now, either tell me it's not wrong, or fix it!_

"Of course, I've had some time to deal with that," he continued, pulling Takumi closer. Takumi hesitantly raised his hands, then firmly held him, apparently thinking he was about to receive some kind of wisdom that Ryousuke wasn't sure he had for him. "But, as you know, our time is incredibly short, isn't it?" he whispered. He felt Takumi nod into his shoulder. "Thankfully, you're a lot tougher than I ever was, and your instinct is your greatest gift. If you go with that, then you'll never be wrong."

 _Tougher? Than Ryousuke? Why does he always say shit I can't understand right away?_

"We can stop at any time," Ryousuke continued, not really wanting to say that at all, but knowing Takumi needed the reassurance. "If your instinct tells you to stop, I will accept that. There's nothing to worry about."

"What if...it doesn't tell me to stop? Will you worry then?" Takumi asked quietly, his voice sounding a little unsure.

Ryousuke sighed. What a loaded question that was. Hadn't he gone down a similar conversational path with Kaori, trying to remove all of her worries and give her all the freedom she would need to decide for herself? No. It wouldn't be the same. It couldn't. 'He's much stronger,' he reminded himself.

"Look at me for a minute," he gently directed, and Takumi pulled back and looked at him seriously.

"Honestly, yeah. I might be worried then, but not for any of the reasons you might think."

 _Tell me what you mean! Please..._

Takumi looked away a little, a new blush coming to his cheeks. "I'm sorry. This is wrong, isn't it?"

"No," Ryousuke said firmly. "It's not. Don't you dare apologize. For anything. God, Takumi, can't you understand how much I want this? Want you?"

"But you could have...anyone," Takumi whispered. Ryousuke was immediately thrown back slightly in time, listening to Keisuke telling him the very same thing only a few days before. He _could_ tell Takumi what he told Keisuke, that, no, he couldn't have anyone he wanted. But, he knew that might scare the already unsure Takumi off, or worse, piss him off, which would then force him to have to explain things about his other responsibilities that he really didn't care to explain yet while things were so new. That simulation would, no doubt, end in failure too.

"Unfortunately, it's more complicated than that, Takumi," he vaguely replied, hoping that would be enough for the moment. "But it doesn't take away from the fact that being with you...is _thrilling_ ," he said, placing a hand on the side of Takumi's face. "There's no 'anyone' now, and there hasn't been for some time. If you want to continue seeing each other this way, there really wouldn't be anything that would make me happier."

Before Ryousuke realized it, the truth had escaped him, and Takumi looked at him with wide eyes. "Does this...really make you happy, Ryousuke?"

 _This? Me? I...made him happy?_

Ryousuke kissed him tenderly, and Takumi closed his eyes, accepting Ryousuke's tongue and gently rolling his own with it. "Yeah," Ryousuke replied as he pulled back, and, with more seriousness in his tone, "but don't do this because of that. Please, don't do it for that."

 _Why? You're not telling me something. Something...important. Does this mean I have to figure it out for myself? Shit! But, he said he was happy. Am I...happy?_

Takumi was silent. The thought that Takumi would see him only to please him was disconcerting. That was definitely not what Ryousuke wanted; that was the wrong motivation. However, he admitted selfishly to himself, he would take it. He would take anything Takumi would give if it meant he could have him all to himself for these final months before he was to leave. Ryousuke felt pathetic, and desperate; it was another new sensation that being with Takumi had given him. He had seen sides of the young man that even his wildest fantasies could not have provided him, and he'd seen the deep complexity that he knew was there all along, waiting to be fully discovered.

He only wanted _more_. More of his body. His mind. His...heart.

Ryousuke was always asking for more from Takumi in battles, and now, in this incredibly intense and personal time that they had shared. Ryousuke still couldn't completely understand why Takumi had gone so far...with him. He knew he didn't deserve it. He should have kept control. Ryousuke did not want to leave this person, or the joy, or even the danger he felt whenever he was in his presence. At all.

Takumi had always provoked in him curiosity, and desire. Both were rapidly heading toward some kind of ultimate fulfillment, for which Ryousuke never calculated that he would ever have to prepare himself. He realized that the chance of not feeling loss, or maybe even _longing_ , when he left Takumi behind would be zero percent.

And, if Takumi would decide to want to continue this into something more permanent, there would have to be drastic changes made, none of which had the likelihood of meshing nicely with his Father's life-plan for his eldest son. Ryousuke was getting horribly ahead of himself again, his mind already setting to work crafting a simulation to include Takumi in anything and everything he wanted to do, everything he wanted to show his young lover, everything he wanted to experience with him. 'He could stop this at any time. He could tell you no. He has the right. What the hell are you thinking, Takahashi?!'

Right now, he needed to let Takumi decide, and he would have to deal with whatever the downhiller's instinct told him to do, or not to do.

"I want you, the whole person you are," he whispered. "I want you to find out if you want this for yourself. Only you can know that. Whatever decision you reach-"

"I'm hungry," Takumi blurted out.

 _Idiot. But, I can't deal right now. I just want to be with him for a little longer. I'll think later. I think I...no. Later._

'Okay, we're done talking,' Ryousuke thought, closing his eyes, and letting a slight chuckle escape him. 'He needs time. Of course he does.'

"All right. Let's just relax and enjoy each other's company for a while longer, okay?" He saw a expression of marked relief cross Takumi's face. Beautiful.

With that settled, Ryousuke put on a light air, and helped Takumi to gather his things. They returned toward the entrance of the apartment and Ryousuke deftly disarmed the security system. He turned to Takumi. "You ready?"

Takumi stepped closer. "Yeah, I'm okay."

He raised his head toward Ryousuke's mouth. Ryousuke leaned down to meet him, and he was overjoyed that Takumi would initiate a kiss before they left.

What a wonderful answer. He didn't say he was ready, he said he was okay. If Ryousuke's interpretation of Takumi's words was correct, it seemed like it meant that his instinct was leaning toward continuing things after all. 'Amazing. He's tough. Anyone else probably would have run away by now, but he's still here. Thank God. You really don't deserve him. At all.'


	15. Chapter 15

Saturday, 1 PM, Maebashi.

Ryousuke motioned for Takumi to exit the apartment, and he followed after resetting the alarm. He had the passing thought that he might try and make the apartment a bit more like a home. He brushed it aside, though, in an effort to keep his mind light and simply to enjoy taking Takumi to lunch.

Once they had navigated the hallway and the elevator, they walked toward the FC and got in.

"Takumi, will you get my sunglasses out of the glove box for me?"

"Sure," Takumi replied. He seemed relaxed again, and Ryousuke was glad for it. Takumi opened the glove box and saw two pairs of sunglasses inside. "Which ones?"

"Uh, the gold ones," Ryousuke offhandedly said as he started the car, letting it idle for a bit as he revved the accelerator, the sound of the responsive rotary engine bringing him the instant calm it often did. Takumi handed the glasses to Ryousuke, and thought the fingers of his mentor had lingered a bit longer than they might ought to have when they brushed against his own. "Thanks. You can wear the other pair, if you want," Ryousuke casually added, casting a sideways glance at the younger man as he put on his gold Ray Bans.

"That's okay."

"It's pretty bright out. Go ahead," Ryousuke urged, as he backed the FC out of his parking space and smoothly navigated the tight corners of the parking structure.

"Okay." Takumi relented, putting the dark lenses on. They looked incredible on him, just as Ryousuke had expected. Apparently he wasn't very subtle about noticing, because Takumi's lips turned into a frown. "What is it?" Takumi asked, scowling a little.

Ryousuke chuckled and shook his head. "Nothing much," he said with a playfully cryptic tone. He wanted Takumi to be at ease with him, and he found that he, too, wanted to relax and get rid of some of the weight of their conversation to just enjoy him.

As he drove, he glanced at Takumi, who now had his nose scrunched up. "Why are you looking at me like that, Ryousuke? I was born with this face, you know," he deadpanned.

Ryousuke almost missed the shift-up point when he heard Takumi's comment. He couldn't hide the smile that came to his lips and the light laugh that escaped his throat. 'Takumi,' he thought, 'You're sexy. And impossible. I ought to thank God and your parents for that face.'

As Takumi felt the subtle near-miss to Ryousuke's transition from first to second gear, he allowed a bit of his dry wit to resurface. He needed a break from thinking too much and he seriously was starving. "Are they crooked or something?" Takumi asked sarcastically, adjusting the glasses.

"No. They're not crooked. Am I not allowed to look at you?" Ryousuke replied lightly.

 _I don't know why he says stuff like that, but...I sort of like it. He's relaxed. I guess I should relax too. God, I love seeing him this way; I almost feel like I... belong when he's like this. Maybe this, whatever-it-is, isn't all that wrong after all._

From behind the dark glasses, he stole a glance of his own toward Ryousuke. As usual, he looked amazing, and Takumi found himself wanting to steal more glances, in partial disbelief, perhaps, that he had been so intimate with him. As he realized that he rarely saw his mentor in daylight, Takumi found that he had the same nervous energy he always did whenever Ryousuke was around, battle situation or not; day or night apparently didn't matter either. As he watched Ryousuke drive, the smooth touch to the gearbox, the clutch, the accelerator, he had the feeling of cautious delight wash over him that such an incredible driver, an incredible man, had seen value in him enough to open his world to someone like him.

Takumi continued to study Ryousuke's gentle shift work, the same tender touch he had experienced on his body the night before. The comparison sent a shot of recollection through him at Ryousuke's loving embraces, his soft kisses, his taking care to reassure him. He _did_ feel as if he had been loved, and it never felt that way with Mogi, whose body he had experienced only once. That night had been awkward, uneasy, and, he thought, almost obligatory. Mogi knew what she was doing, and the thought of that had been in the back of Takumi's mind the whole time he had been with her. He realized that he may have given into his attraction, and his desire to forgive her after she had tried so hard to get him back, but now he wasn't sure that he had really loved her. Perhaps he gave into what he thought of as love, but he had never let his guard down in the presence of a girl who had a lot more experience than he did. Maybe that's why he wasn't particularly bothered when her letters, already occasional, ceased to arrive. Maybe he never fully forgave her at all.

He wasn't sure about Mika yet because things hadn't progressed to anywhere near that level. Takumi had thoughts about it, like any red-blooded teenager _ever,_ but Mika was a nice girl. She was a girl who wouldn't jump into bed with him, no matter how much she liked him. Or, he mused, how much she insisted he call her by only her given name, with no polite -chan to offer a proprietary distance. Takumi was starting to feel that they never would get that far, no matter how much he liked her. He couldn't imagine getting as excited about Mika anymore; the waiting until they had become "appropriately close" enough to make that kind of move seemed suddenly not worth the wait at all. Now that he had shared the bed of his mentor, things like honoring a girl's modesty didn't feel like such important things. With Ryousuke, there was no waiting, no wondering. It just happened, no courtship, no dalliances of honor or fanfare. But, somehow, that was what was both appealing and scary. In the presence of Ryousuke, anywhere, and especially in the world of the FC, Takumi had no wish to think of anyone else.

 _What am I going to do about her?_

As he continued to watch Ryousuke drive, absorbing his technique and its subtlety at legal speeds, Takumi wondered for the millionth time how he had ever managed to win against this car, this driver. Especially back then, at the level he was, his ignorance didn't allow for strategies, thought, or theory. He just drove fast. Period. Learning to improve his driving from Ryousuke had been amazing, and learning intimacy from him was becoming equally so. Takumi had never been in the navi-seat when Ryousuke was in the heat of battle, but he wondered if it would be as intense as their morning had been. It probably would be, he thought, and it was frightening, but thrilling all the same. He imagined what Ryousuke might look like when he got serious behind the wheel, and wondered if it was the same fearsome look he had when they...

 _Okay. I'm screwed. I liked him that way. I want him both ways...oh God. I really need to try and figure this out!_

Hearing no response from Takumi, but feeling his protégé's eyes on him as he drove, Ryousuke ventured another teasing jab. "If you don't want me to look at you, you need to stop being so easy to look at."

 _He's...teasing again. It's exciting. But, I'm not going to let you get away with that, Ryousuke._

Ryousuke was darting his eyes back and forth between the road and Takumi, and he saw the passenger's cheeks turn a little pink again.

"Haven't you seen enough?" Takumi asked dryly.

Ryousuke chuckled and smirked. "Hmm..." He mock considered as he watched Takumi from out of the corner of his eye at the next traffic light. God, he was gorgeous in the dark glasses and the tight polo shirt. Best of all, he seemed relaxed now. Ryousuke thought he could probably get away with playing a little. "I'm good. For now," he added as he passed his hand over Takumi's thigh before a shift-up to second gear. He saw the younger one get momentarily flustered, but he still seemed at ease. 'Good.'

 _Every time. Every time he touches me, I want to...oh God. Stop. Thinking._

Ryousuke applied the brakes and signaled a turn. Takumi looked out the window at all the throngs of students crowding the sidewalks of a street that seemed to be a main campus thoroughfare. It was a Saturday, but he could see that many of the students had books and laptops in hand, presumably to study even on the weekend.

 _I don't think I ever studied on the weekend. Ever. I've come to a strange place, I think. Does he really want to take me...here?_

Ryousuke had driven down a small side street, and elegantly parallel-parked the FC with barely a glance in the rearview. He cut the engine. "Okay. The cafe is just down the block. I don't like parking my car in front," he added by way of an explanation for the fact that they'd be walking a little.

"All right," Takumi replied as he opened the car door and alighted with Ryousuke.

As they walked, Ryousuke couldn't help but to feel that this was some kind of perfect scenario. He supposed it was technically a date, something he hadn't really bothered to do since Kaori. But, since there was no real name for what was happening, he figured he didn't have to admit that it was a date anyway. It was just lunch. Sure. Whatever.

They walked in silence; Takumi's head was on a swivel, taking in everything he saw. Ryousuke wanted to see the Ace's reactions to this world that was decidedly Ryousuke's, as foreign to Takumi as living in America would be to him. Sure, he had visited the country several times with his parents, but making it his home for a year or more would be very different. The memory of one especially notable occasion, when his Father had the brilliant idea to enroll his errant younger son in some kind of military academy there, always stuck out in Ryousuke's mind and always brought a smile to his face. Even during the campus orientation visit, Keisuke had snuck out of the hotel suite while the rest of the family slept and somehow managed to find the only bar in the small town that didn't bother with such formalities as the checking of IDs. Upon their parents' discovery of what he had done, the idea of leaving Keisuke to his own devices at a military school in small town America was immediately abandoned in favor of touring the Grand Canyon and going to Disneyland.

There would be no non-date dates with Takumi in America.

Ryousuke put the thought out of his mind as they came upon the bustling cafe. When they entered, Ryousuke realized his plan for a quiet early lunch had morphed into the sharing of a louder, later lunch with a plethora of students, both underclassmen and graduate, and pre-professional students such as himself. Not that he minded the reason for their tardiness at all. He looked at Takumi, hoping he wouldn't be overwhelmed, but he seemed fine, so far.

"Sorry it's so crowded, Takumi, but there are plenty of tables outside. Let's get one of those, okay?"

"Sure," Takumi said simply, following the path through the clusters of studying students Ryousuke created with his confident stride, and arriving shortly at a table in a somewhat less noisy place out on the back patio. They settled themselves down, and Ryousuke took out a cigarette.

"Do you mind?" he asked, holding up the cigarette.

"No, not really. You've been doing that a lot lately, though, haven't you?" Takumi ventured to add.

"Yeah. I suppose. Old habits die hard, I guess." He hadn't intended to really get back into smoking, but, it calmed him, and he just added it to the list of things he had recently done that maybe he shouldn't have. But, it also added to his perfect scenario, so he indulged, but wondered if Takumi was actually concerned about it.

Soon, a waitress appeared from within the throng, and the two placed their orders and Takumi continued to look around with an incredulous look on his face that, despite the dark sunglasses, Ryousuke knew was there.

 _These people...they look like they're having fun. While studying. What's with that? Doesn't school...suck?_

"What are you thinking, Takumi?" Ryousuke asked softly.

"That I can't believe these people are studying and having a good time doing it. That's crazy."

Ryousuke smirked. "And driving the hachi-roku in the dark with your headlights off is somehow more sane than that, right?"

The Ace scowled again.

 _Face it, idiot. You'll never win a battle of words with him. Never. But, he's making me feel better about being an idiot at least._

Ryousuke continued to make light conversation with Takumi through lunch, and he was enjoying every second, tempted to order dessert just to prolong the non-date. Takumi was incredibly funny, incredibly smart in his own way. He really was more interesting than Ryousuke had ever imagined. He ceded that he was still strange, but, that was probably due in large part to his very unique upbringing with his father. Honestly, what type of parent had their kid driving and learning to drift at twelve? What was it about owning a hachi-roku that caused that to occur not only with Takumi, but with Inui Shinji, Takumi's final opponent, as well? Ryousuke made a mental note to remind the Akina hachi-roku driver that he still wanted to visit with his father sometime. He also made a mental note about the fact that Takumi had never said a word about his mother, or about ever having a mother around. Ryousuke knew that there was no mother in the house now, but he did wonder about it. It would be too rude to pry into his family situation like that, but he filed it away as yet another unknown about his downhiller that he really wanted to know about.

Unfortunately, it was getting late, and he did have plans later. As much as he didn't want to close the afternoon, he knew he had to make some kind of appearance at home where, no doubt, Keisuke would be rolling out of bed at any moment and ringing his phone. Not to mention the upcoming battle later for which Ryousuke found he had plenty of energy. He was looking forward to teaching Watanabe Shun a very hard lesson indeed, and the thought was starting to make his hands itch to grip the steering wheel of the FC for a drive well beyond the legal limits of daytime driving on local streets.

He was about to suggest that they depart when he heard a familiar, if annoying, voice call out to him. Both he and Takumi looked in the direction of it.

"Takahashi-kun?" said a man about Ryousuke's age as he approached their table.

 _"Takahashi...-kun?" Who the hell calls Ryousuke...that?_

Ryousuke stood, and removed his glasses to greet their visitor, and he was charmed that Takumi immediately followed in the same polite gesture, squinting a little as the dark sunglasses were removed. "Ah. Yoshida-kun. How are you?" He addressed Yoshida in the way that medical students of the same year addressed each other. Takumi might not get that, but, it was the way things were done.

 _Eh?_

"Freaking out, of course! We have three clinical reports due this week, don't we?" the man named Yoshida replied, laughing.

"Yeah," Ryousuke affirmed in a manner that Takumi thought was more disinterested than anything else.

"Fancy meeting you here on the weekend, Takahashi-kun. I'm surprised you're not out playing adrenaline junkie somewhere," the man said.

 _Adrenaline junkie?! What the...?_

"Well," Ryousuke began as Takumi saw him bristle slightly at the remark, "we do have the clinicals," he said flatly. He looked over, and the young man had a slightly uncomfortable expression on his face. Shit.

"Ah. So even Takahashi Ryousuke has to take a break from playing daredevil I guess," Yoshida continued. Looking curiously at Ryousuke's young companion, he immediately bowed slightly. "Oh. Please, forgive me. I'm wired up on coffee, and I seem to have forgotten my manners. I'm Yoshida Jin."

"Fujiwara Takumi. Pleased to meet you, Yoshida-san," Takumi softly replied. Ryousuke had the passing thought that his perfect scenario was about to degenerate rapidly.

"Likewise. Aren't you lucky," he added.

 _Huh?! Is it that obvious that I'm "with" Ryousuke?! Shit!_

"Excuse me?"

Ryousuke saw Takumi shoot him a look that said "Save me!" Unfortunately, Yoshida was already engaging Takumi in a conversation.

"Well, sure. It's not every day that Takahashi-kun will take out one of the underclassmen for lunch, hell, I don't even get a cup of coffee out of him." Ryousuke rolled his eyes in response, but he saw Takumi exhale a bit in apparent relief.

 _Okay. He thinks I'm a student. Okay. Wait. Shit! I'm not a student! Ryousuke...help me, damn it!_

"You _are_ a student, aren't you? What are you, third year undergrad? Pre-med?"

Ryousuke knew the rapid fire questions would be much too much, and that, given enough time, Yoshida might have another guess as to whether or not Takumi was something more than just a fellow student. That was probably unavoidable, but he wanted to make it clear that his presence wasn't entirely welcome.

"Yoshida-kun, Takumi is not a student here. He's a driver. And a great one at that," he explained, hoping that his calling Takumi by his given name would subtly signal to Yoshida that his companion was a person close enough to him to deserve not only lunch, but a private lunch. He also sat down, and Takumi followed his lead.

 _Great?! Me?! And he still called me Takumi. In public. Does he know he just did that?_

"Oh? So, another adrenaline junkie, eh?" Yoshida inquired, apparently either missing or ignoring Ryousuke's subtle cue. Ryousuke assumed he was ignoring it as he saw the man give another curious once-over to the person close enough to him to be referred to in the familiar.

"I guess," Takumi said.

"Yoshida-kun, forgive me, but we were just finishing up here, so, if you'll excuse us," Ryousuke said in an attempt to lose his classmate. However, one of the things that Yoshida was noted for in his studies was also part of his personality. He was annoyingly persistent.

"Really? Oh. I was kind of hoping to show you my section of the report, and get your opinion on it," Yoshida explained tapping his bag.

 _This guy is obviously in Ryousuke's class. Another smart guy with a trusty laptop, I guess. I am totally out of my element here! But, I can't be rude like that. This is Ryousuke's...friend? No, it doesn't seem like that. I have no idea!_

"I thought my running into you here was a stroke of good luck," Yoshida dejectedly continued.

"If you don't mind, just email it to me. I'm quite sure Takumi will be bored to death if we start talking about our report. Hell, I'll be bored to death. This isn't a working lunch, after all," Ryousuke said, hoping that Yoshida would take the hint. He didn't. Takumi looked like he was starting to space out. 'Shit. He hasn't done that much. I don't want him to start now.'

 _He called me Takumi again. If he starts doing that around people we know on the street... No, he wouldn't do that, would he?_

"Ah. Well, uh, Fujiwara-kun, is it?" he asked, turning his attention to Ryousuke's young... companion.

"Yes?" Takumi hurriedly replied, his attention snapping back to Ryousuke's classmate.

"You wouldn't mind if I take like five minutes, would you?"

 _Yes. I mind._

"No, it's okay," Takumi said weakly.

Ryousuke was not amused. "No, it's _not_. I'm sorry, Yoshida-kun. Not today. Email it."

It was not a request, but, Yoshida was either an idiot, or he simply didn't care because he was ready to ignore it. Ryousuke didn't like either scenario.

 _Ryousuke's getting pissed, but I think I should let this guy have five minutes, then he'll go away, won't he?_

"Ryousuke, uh -san, it's all right," Takumi insisted, waving his hand lightly in front of him. "I know you have tests coming."

Ryousuke smiled a little to himself that Takumi almost addressed him in the familiar. But, he wasn't ready to do that in public company, and Ryousuke understood. Takumi was too polite for his own good, though. Ryousuke realized that he would have to, at some _extremely_ near future date, educate him on the delicate art of getting rid of annoying people.

"I don't think-" Ryousuke started to protest, but Yoshida was off and running.

"Thank you, Fujiwara-kun. You're a good man. See, Takahashi-kun? You can give me five minutes, can't you? I'll even buy your...friend another cup of coffee to express my gratitude."

Ryousuke sighed, catching the hesitation in Yoshida's statement, hoping that Takumi didn't. He didn't seem to. Good. The man was annoying, but definitely not an idiot after all. He probably assumed plenty by now already about Takumi. Though he had always been discreet, Ryousuke had heard the occasional whisper about his personal life. But, at least his classmates were smart enough to keep their mouths shut, that is, if they ever wanted to have a prayer of getting a job at his Father's main hospital here in Maebashi, of course. If Yoshida suspected anything, he'd keep it to himself. Ryousuke supposed it was one of the very few perks of his status as his Father's eldest son, the bocchama, or Young Master, himself. People respected his status enough to keep their whispers to a bare minimum. "Takumi, are you sure? It's incredibly boring stuff."

 _Eh? Why doesn't he want to do this? What's the big deal about a clinical or whatever? Now I have to know. Sorry, Ryousuke._

'Please say no,' Ryousuke thought.

"It's fine, Ryousuke-san. I'll take another cup of coffee, though," he replied, replacing his sunglasses, but not before Ryousuke saw a flicker of his dry wit dance across his eyes as he accepted the offer of a second cup of coffee. Could Takumi actually be interested in this crap? Well, it was only fair, Ryousuke supposed; he didn't hold the monopoly on having interest in the other person after all. Takumi said himself that he wanted to see all sides of him, and, whether or not Ryousuke liked it, being a med student was another side he hadn't shown to his Ace. He supposed the youngeri wanted to see Ryousuke in this different light too. Or maybe, he was just trying to torture him. He might have to pay for that...later. God, he looked hot. Stop. Now.

 _Even though this guy's a weirdo, I'm actually interested to see what Ryousuke does in school. And, it's...amusing to see him like this. He's annoyed a little, but, instead of feeling crappy about that, I'm...teasing him. My God. Should I be doing that? Oh well. We'll see._

Ryousuke let out an exhalation that should have told Yoshida that he wasn't amused, but again, the man ignored it. "Go ahead and pull up a chair, then, Yoshida-kun, but not before you signal the waitress for a refill. For both Takumi and me."

"Thank you, Takahashi-kun, you're a lifesaver," he said as he raised his hand to signal that there would be another round of coffee poured for the pair at the table. He sat down and brought out his laptop. "I swear, Fujiwara-kun, I'm grateful, and I'll keep it brief."

"That would be ideal," Ryousuke deadpanned as he put his sunglasses back on. He thought he actually saw a smirk on Takumi's face. 'Oh, you are definitely going to be in trouble, Takumi.'

And Ryousuke would enjoy every minute of it too.

Yoshida proceeded to take his laptop out of the bag and he opened it. While it was booting up, he definitely noticed that Ryousuke was pissed. Oh well. School came first, and he was always startled by Ryousuke's blasé attitude toward it, considering who his Father was. In fact, he always thought that Ryousuke was kind of an asshole, but he respected him because the guy was one brilliant son of a bitch, and, when it came time to apply for residency, he secretly hoped that he might remember him when he applied to work at his Father's hospital in Maebashi. Yoshida really had no choice but to suck up occasionally to him, hoping that he was congenial enough not to get totally slammed when he tried to get in at the hospital. He watched the silent exchange between Ryousuke and his fellow adrenaline junkie as the waitress returned with a fresh pot of coffee to refill their cups. Yoshida had never actually seen Ryousuke out with anyone alone like that. Usually, he was either alone himself, or with their study group.

He pulled up the reports and all the relevant material on his computer, glancing sideways at the young man who sat across from his classmate. He'd sometimes heard rumors about Ryousuke being linked with certain people from time to time, but Ryousuke never acknowledged anything, or talked about much of anything personal other than his little racing hobby. Even with that, what Ryousuke said was minimal. Yoshida realized that Ryousuke probably couldn't say much about either thing because of who he was: the bocchama of one of the most respected surgeons in the entire Kanto region of Japan. He looked at Takumi again, guessing that he was barely twenty, if that. In any case, he was pretty young. 'Yeah,' he thought, 'he's probably fucking him. Oh well, whatever.'

 _He keeps looking at me. Does he...know? Do I care? No. I don't think I care...Wait. What?!_

Yoshida attempted to make small talk with Fujiwara as Ryousuke read over the data on the computer. "So, Fujiwara-kun," he began, "what kind of car do you drive?"

 _Crap. Shouldn't he be shutting up and waiting for Ryousuke to talk to him?_

"I drove a hachi-roku for Ryousuke-san's team," Takumi replied quietly.

"Eh? What's that?" Yoshida asked.

Takumi shot a glance at Ryousuke who was smirking a little.

 _Okay. So he doesn't know about cars. Hell, I didn't even know what a hachi-roku was, even though I drove it every day. Okay. I can handle this._

"It's a Trueno."

Yoshida seemed to be trying to place the model and failing.

"A Toyota, Yoshida-kun," Ryousuke offered, never raising his eyes from his classmate's laptop and taking a deliberate sip of his coffee. "He also drives a Subaru Impreza."

"Oh. More domestics, eh?"

"Yes," Takumi answered politely.

Ryousuke continued to study the laptop, and Takumi could see his incredible laser focus.

 _Amazing. How can he concentrate with all the noise out here? And with this whacko talking to me? He's...incredible. But I already knew that._

"I've been telling Takahashi-kun here that he should treat himself to a big fat Benz when he graduates. I can't wait to ditch my Honda for one of those."

Takumi almost choked on his sip of coffee.

 _What?! Ryousuke...and a Benz. No...way..._

"The day I buy a Benz," Ryousuke began dryly, amused with Takumi's reaction, "is the day I check myself into my Father's hospital as a patient into the psych ward."

He was delighted to see the downhiller smile. Good.

Yoshida was nonplussed. "Geez. It's not like you can't afford it. I can't believe you're still driving that old Mazda. Where is it anyway?"

"Down the block," Ryousuke flatly answered.

"You should upgrade. When you start practicing medicine, you'll have to probably give up your toy and get a car that's more dignified than a sports car."

Takumi could feel his mouth hang open a little. No one advised Takahashi Ryousuke against driving the FC. He could see Ryousuke's eyes narrow behind the gold sunglasses. He was pissed.

 _Uh-oh._

"A Benz is not an upgrade over _my_ FC, Yoshida-kun," Ryousuke almost seethed. There would be no way he would ever own such a pathetically stodgy car. The thought of having three of them in the garage of his family home was sickening. He might as well use a car service if it came to that.

'Touchy. What a prick,' Yoshida thought. Wisely, he changed the subject. "So, what do you think of my conclusions for the second patient scenario, Takahashi-kun? How would you approach the pre-op workup for that?"

 _Okay. He's given up trying to get Ryousuke interested in a Benz. That's smart._

Ryousuke sighed and looked up at Takumi. Takumi nodded once. 'Okay. I guess he's okay.'

"Well," Ryousuke began, "everything's in order, except I would check your recommendation for the anesthesia."

"Oh?"

"Yes. If you look at the chart we were given,..."

 _Amazing. He just snapped right into it. Just like when he was with D. It's the same seriousness. He's so confident about it too...but, it's almost like he's really bored. I don't get it. I don't get it at all!_

"...so, therefore," Ryousuke continued with the same disinterest Takumi had heard in his tone before, "since this patient has hypertension, that particular sedation is contraindicated. If you recall the last issue of the journal of internal medicine..."

 _Contra...what? I have no idea what he's saying. As usual. Amazing. I really...do I really...belong with someone like him?_

Ryousuke continued to advise Yoshida, looking up at Takumi every so often. He saw that the younger man was starting to slump a little in his seat. 'I need to end this. He's freaking out.'

 _Idiot! What the hell am I doing? He's so smart. What the hell does he see in someone like me? He's going to be a doctor. An amazing doctor, and, what am I going to be? A professional "adrenaline junkie". That's just perfect. How could I think I'd make him happy?! Was it...just...physical? I think he wanted that. No, he definitely did. But...if it's not just that, what the hell is it?_

Ryousuke could feel that his perfect scenario was just about gone, thanks to some crappy clinical report. Great. Well, at least he had the drive back to Shibukawa to try and repair any damage done. Takumi was now firmly entrenched in his own world. Shit.

"Yoshida-kun, I think I've done all I can here. We have to be going," he said quietly.

Yoshida looked at Ryousuke, noticing that he wasn't looking at him while he spoke. He was looking at his companion. If he hadn't seen it for himself, he would have never believed it, but Yoshida was sure he saw concern in his eyes. He shot a glance to the quiet young man who had a slight blush on his cheeks. 'Damn. I hope I didn't mess this up with that Takahashi. That will be a pain later I'm sure. Don't want him to think I'm the one who screwed up his little thing he has going here.'

"Ah," Yoshida replied at last. "Thank you, Takahashi-kun, I really appreciate it," he said as he hurriedly closed his laptop and returned it to his bag as he rose.

"Whatever," Ryousuke said. "it's no big deal," he added, never taking his eyes off of Takumi who was staring off into the distance somewhere.

"And, thank you, Fujiwara-kun," Yoshida said.

 _Crap._

"Uh, sure, Yoshida-san," Takumi replied, coming back into the here and now. "Thanks for the coffee," he added, and Ryousuke could feel the insecurity emanating from him.

"I'll be going then, Takahashi-kun. Don't forget we have the night rotation starting tomorrow night."

"Yeah. I got the roster." He stood and Takumi stood as well. They bowed their goodbyes to Yoshida.

"I'm sorry," Ryousuke said quietly. "I'm sure that was dreadfully boring."

"No, it wasn't...boring."

"Shall we go then?" Ryousuke asked, wishing the relaxed, witty Takumi would return. Now.

Takumi nodded his assent and reached into his back pocket for his wallet.

"What are you doing?" Ryousuke asked.

"I'm paying for lunch, Ryousuke-san," he replied.

Shit, they were back to that. Why did that idiot have to show up?

"No. You're not," Ryousuke corrected gently as he walked over to Takumi's side of the table, standing as close as he dared to in public. "That interruption was unexpected, and I should have been more firm with him. That guy is annoying. Let's just forget it, okay?"

Takumi brightened a little, but not enough. "Okay," he answered.

"Let's go," Ryousuke said as he left enough money for the check on the table and weaved his way out of the cafe. They walked in silence back to the FC and got in. Ryousuke revved the engine and began to drive toward Takumi's home.

"I can give you directions to my house when we get close," Takumi remarked.

"Okay," Ryousuke replied; of course he didn't need directions, but he also didn't want Takumi to know quite yet that he'd been to his house before, lest he have to explain the reason. He glanced over to his passenger; he seemed to retreat again to a world of his own.

"Takumi, please. What is it?"

Takumi furrowed his brow as he leaned on his hand, his arm supported at the elbow next to the window of the FC. He turned to Ryousuke. "You were...amazing."

Ryousuke slowed for a traffic light and the FC came to a stop. "That's just work. It's nothing," he said, turning to look at Takumi seriously. "It's just the type of boring shit I have to put up with. I'm sorry you had to put up with it too."

"No, Ryousuke-san, it-"

"Please, don't call me that anymore," Ryousuke gently interrupted, as the light turned green and he returned his gaze to the road as he put the car into gear. "Not when we're alone, at the very least."

Takumi seemed to consider Ryousuke's statement heavily.

"Ryousuke, can I ask you something?" he ventured, apparently having decided to drop the -san for now.

"Anything."

"Aren't I too stupid...for you?"

So that's what it was. He knew it.

"No. You're not stupid. At all. Not for me, and not for anyone."

"Oh. I felt really stupid. I had no idea what you were talking about, and, I thought, that maybe-"

"Takumi, you need to realize that there are things I do because I have to do them, and things I do because I want to do them."

Takumi was silent again. No. He was _not_ letting this happen. No. As Ryousuke had the thought, a pang of something unfamiliar was striking him. Decision made. He darted his eyes around, scouting the relative speeds and positions of the light daytime traffic, then he floored it. Takumi bolted upright, his stunned, silent gaze fixed on his mentor as he weaved the FC around slow sedans and even slower delivery vans, getting honked at until he came up to a small municipal park. He downshifted quickly, and veered the FC into the parking lot, flooring it all the way to its end where he abruptly braked with full force.

 _Amazing...would I be able to do that? With regular cars honking all over the place? Why, Ryousuke? I've screwed it up! Shit! What did I do?!_

Ryousuke pulled the e-brake and rested his hands over the steering wheel, the whirring rotary engine at idle the only sound other than their breaths, his head bowed slightly. "Takumi," Ryousuke said firmly using his "team leader" voice, "Don't ever say that you're stupid in front of me again. Do you understand?"

All the addressed could do was nod. Ryousuke was upset, but, for some reason, Takumi thought that he didn't seem angry with him.

 _Is he angry...with himself? Why?_

Ryousuke turned to look at Takumi, who looked a bit shaken. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Takumi asked, barely uttering the word.

"Yes. I want you to be comfortable with me. Earlier, I felt like I was really seeing you. And I want that. I don't want you to ever feel inferior to me, or that I'm above you somehow, because I am _certainly_ not." Ryousuke turned to look out the windshield at something that maybe wasn't there, or perhaps, it was simply out of reach. "And I'm failing miserably. Again," he said, almost to himself.

Takumi just stared.

"There's so much I should tell you, but until you decide this is what you want, I just can't bring myself to do it."

 _He thinks I'm going to run away. Am I? I don't...know...I don't want to, but...is he afraid that I will? Or is he afraid that I won't? I don't get it!_

"Promise me that, when you consider everything for yourself, you'll think hard about why it could be that you're so valuable to me, will you?"

Takumi nodded.

 _Shit. I DO have to figure it out for myself! Why would he say it like that? Why should I have to think about that? Why can't he just tell me what the hell he's doing with me?!_

"Ryousuke," Takumi began tentatively, "I don't belong in your world, do I? Not the part of it I saw today, I mean."

Ryousuke sighed. "Don't ask those kinds of questions. That world is my Father's world, not really mine. I just have to live in it." Takumi heard the bitterness in his voice, the same bitterness that he had heard when he had said his Father wouldn't be proud of him.

 _Was that it? His Father? I need to drive. Now. I can't think now._

"I really suck at thinking. But I will think," Takumi replied.

Ryousuke let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Thank you."

Takumi felt a need to reach out, not liking it when he thought Ryousuke was unreachable. He didn't understand the complex way in which his mentor thought, and he knew that there was no way he was as smart as Ryousuke. But, he would quit saying he was stupid, that much, at least, had been a direct command that he could follow. He slowly brought his hand to the side of Ryousuke's face, hesitating slightly before gently pressing the flat of his palm to it. He saw that Ryousuke closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

 _Why is this...why am I..."valuable" to him? Why the hell would he say it like that?_

Ryousuke still had his hands on the wheel, the left gripping it, and the right loosely draped over it. Takumi tentatively moved his own hand, trying to keep his breathing steady as he ran his fingers through Ryousuke's straight, coarse hair. He was wearing it darker again lately, but a little longer, with a shock of barely-perceptible violet streaked through the top of it. It suited him. From Takumi's point of view, everything Ryousuke did suited him, though, and Takumi wondered how in the world he could be suitable at all.

 _You want to, so do it._

He moved his hand slowly toward the back of Ryousuke's neck, encircling his fingers around the nape. He heard Ryousuke exhale. Takumi gently pulled Ryousuke closer. Ryousuke opened his eyes, they were still intense, boring into him, and Takumi wasn't going to run away from him at this moment, at least. While looking into Ryousuke's eyes, not wanting to blink or waver, Takumi took off the glasses, setting them in his own lap, then he took off his own borrowed ones. "I'll think," he repeated, the blush coming to his cheeks again, "But, I can't think now...like this." Ryousuke nodded slightly. Takumi leaned in and pressed his lips to Ryousuke's, not caring if there were any passersby who might see.

'Takumi, think hard,' Ryousuke thought as he gingerly asked for entrance with his tongue into Takumi's mouth. It was granted, and, though soft, Ryousuke still had the feeling of Takumi's underlying intensity.

Takumi pulled back, and put the dark glasses back on, and put Ryousuke's back on as well. The silence said that he was going to try, and that was all Ryousuke could hope for. Takumi then raised his hand to where the elder's left hand was still holding the steering wheel. He brought it down to the gear box, and placed Ryousuke's hand on the gear shift under his own. Once he felt the man tighten his grip, Takumi moved his hand, and released the e-brake. "Just drive, Ryousuke."

Ryousuke closed his eyes, a half smile gracing his lips. It gave him a much needed momentary reprieve from the weight of his thoughts of how he could possibly navigate in his Father's world without leaving Takumi behind. Such was the subtle wisdom of his young Downhill Ace. Just drive. Perfect.

 _He smiled. Sort of. I think I did something right. I hope._

"All right. I'm taking you home," Ryousuke said as he put the car in reverse, turned, then put it into gear once again. The gentle touch was back.

 _Okay. Now, I need to figure out all this crazy shit!_

Ryousuke felt the mood lift a little as they approached Takumi's neighborhood, which was actually a commercial district in Shibukawa. "Where do I turn?" Ryousuke asked as they passed a few streets, though he knew the answer.

"It's the next right. The Green Shopping District," Takumi replied. "It's down two blocks on the right."

Ryousuke glanced at Takumi. He seemed a little embarrassed. Maybe it was because he lived so much more humbly than did Ryousuke, and perhaps that made him nervous. "Do you not want me to see where you live, Takumi?" he asked gently.

 _Duh!_

"No, it's okay, I guess. It's not much, though. Just the shop and the house is upstairs and in the back."

"Ah. Well, you should know me well enough to know that I don't care about who has what. I don't even want a god-damn Benz," he said affably, hoping that his reference to Yoshida's suggestion that he buy one would help to make Takumi relax. He saw a smile grace his lips. Thank God. At least he got to see that before he dropped him off.

"I thought you were going to kill him," Takumi deadpanned after a few seconds.

Ryousuke chuckled. "Too many witnesses," he playfully replied.

"No kidding. Too bad, though. I would have liked to see you deck him."

Ryousuke laughed aloud this time. Okay. Good.

"That's not really my style, Takumi."

"Well, I've decked a guy before, so just let me know," Takumi said plainly. He _was_ smirking.

"Ah. That's very interesting. Somehow, though, I'm not really surprised to hear it," Ryousuke said, half smiling again. Takumi was mock scowling. He _is_ tough.

 _Okay. He's not as upset right now. Good. Now I can...think. Maybe. No. I have to try. I'll try, Ryousuke. I'll try to figure out what you mean, though my brain might explode first._

Ryousuke turned into the Green Shopping District and visually scanned ahead two blocks. On the right hand side stood the tofu shop.

"Well, this is it," Takumi said softly. "The shitty Imp is in the parking spot, so you'll have to pull up in front."

Ryousuke nodded with a half-smile. He spied the Impreza sitting in a tight parking space tucked between the buildings. He'd seen Takumi drive up with it a the disbandment party, but hadn't really looked at it up close. Nice. Not bad. At all.

"That's not a shitty car, Takumi," Ryousuke offered. "I think your Father had good reasons for buying that."

"Yeah, I know that. Whatever."

 _Shitty Old Man. He better not come outside. He'll probably deck me for being late. He better not in front of Ryousuke! Oh, man. If he does that...I'll never live it down!_

'He doesn't want to admit it,' Ryousuke thought, 'but he likes that car. A lot. It's another good car. I'd love to see him drive that thing on a serious run...'

Ryousuke pulled up to the front of the shop and pulled the e-brake. "Okay, Ryousuke," Takumi said, seeming to have nothing else he could say. He started to remove the sunglasses when Ryousuke put up his hand to stop him.

"Keep them. They suit you."

"I couldn't..."

"How am I supposed to be able to see you in them if you don't have them?" Ryousuke coyly asked.

Takumi scrunched up his nose again. He did like them, and they were obviously much nicer than all the pairs of sunglasses he had ever owned and lost over the years. "You sure?"

"Yeah. Just let me see you wear them sometime. Soon, if possible," he whispered. He knew he couldn't kiss him like he wanted to, not in front of his Father's shop and home. He just wanted to give Takumi the open invitation.

Takumi blushed. "Okay."

He reached into the backseat and grabbed his backpack and his still-hung dress clothes from the night before. He opened the door of the FC just in time to see his Father walk out front and light up a cigarette.

"Shit. That's my Dad."

Ryousuke looked over at the elder Fujiwara. He knew he needed to greet him, but how could he when Takumi wasn't supposed to know they had already met? There was no helping it at this point. Hopefully Takumi wouldn't notice too much, or his Father wouldn't say anything about their prior meeting. He cut the engine and moved to open his door.

"What are you doing?" Takumi asked with another scowl.

"I'm greeting your Father," Ryousuke said smoothly as he alighted from the car.

 _Oh my God. Shit!_

Takumi clambered out of the FC, his belongings in hand as he walked around to join Ryousuke on the driver's side.

"Hello, Fujiwara-san. It's very nice to see you again," Ryousuke said politely bowing rather low, much to Takumi's chagrin.

 _Wait. Again?!_

'Hooo?' Fujiwara Bunta thought. 'So he's back. I wondered about that rotary I heard pull up.'

"Hey. You don't need to get all fancy like that, Nii-chan," Bunta deadpanned.

Takumi felt like he was about to fall over. He felt his cheeks grow instantly hot.

 _Goddamn it, Shitty Old Man! Nii-chan?! Oh no you didn't just call Takahashi Ryousuke…Nii-chan?! Do you fucking know who this is?! Please. Kill me. Now. And why did Ryousuke say "nice to see you again"?! I'm pretty sure he doesn't know my Dad…_

Takumi shot a glance to Ryousuke, who stood up to full height, and seemed nonplussed. In fact, he seemed...joyful. "Thank you, Fujiwara-san. I'm sorry to have kept your son out for so long into today."

"That's no big deal. He can do whatever."

'Refreshing,' Ryousuke thought, knowing he'd never hear such words spoken from his own Father in a million years.

"Thank you very much indeed. I hope that, once we're ready to go over the contracts, you would do me the honor of meeting for a chat sometime, at your convenience. I've asked Fujiwara to arrange that for me, if you wouldn't mind." He stole a glance at Takumi. He was at a loss for, well, everything. Oh well. He'll get over it.

 _God, Ryousuke. Aren't you laying it on a little thick with him? What's so special about this shitty old man anyway? You're acting like he's like the God of Hand from Purple Shadow or something! Sheesh. Well, he'll never agree anyway, so I'm cool. Now Ryousuke won't bother me about it again._

"That's fine with me," Bunta replied.

 _What?! Oh crap._

"Excellent," Ryousuke replied, casting a sideways glance at the now pitifully suffering Takumi. He smirked a little. 'Sorry, Takumi,' he thought. 'You lose.'

"Well, Fujiwara-san," Ryousuke continued, feeling generous enough to end his protégé's suffering for the time being, "I do need to get back to Takasaki. It was very nice to see you today."

"Sure," Bunta answered casually, taking a drag from his cigarette, eying the two younger men, surreptitiously glancing back and forth. Something was...different about Takumi, of that he was certain. And this Takahashi guy, he was still about what was expected, more or less, he supposed.

"Okay. Good bye then, Fujiwara-san, Fujiwara," he added, bowing to the elder before turning to Takumi.

"See ya," Takumi weakly replied, shooting daggers at Ryousuke from behind the dark glasses.

 _I really don't want him talking to the old man at all! Crap! More stuff to think about!_

"Oh, Fujiwara," Ryousuke said over his shoulder.

"Yes?"

"Call me when you'd like to talk about what we discussed earlier."

 _He's smooth. I'm an idiot._

"All right."

"Good. I'll be looking forward to hearing your thoughts," he said as he got into the car and closed the door.

 _My thoughts. Oh God. What the hell am I going to do?_

He watched as his father nodded his good-bye, and Takumi moved to stand next to him as Ryousuke fired up the FC and drove off. Takumi took a deep breath and started to walk into the shop.

"Hey!" Bunta shouted.

 _Shit._

"What?" Takumi responded flatly.

"If your ass had been any later, I would have called the cops."

"Sorry." He once again reached for the door, and once again, he was stopped by his father's voice.

"Ah, whatever. You had fun, I guess, to stay out that long."

 _Fun. Oh God. Don't ask me anything right now._

"Yeah, sure. It was fun."

"So that's the leader guy, eh?"

"Yeah. Come to think of it, I wonder why it seemed like you already knew that, though, Dad. It certainly seemed like he knew you."

"Fancy," Bunta continued, ignoring his son's comment.

Takumi felt his cheeks heat, and he focused his stare on the door handle he desperately wanted to pull open, but couldn't, sensing his father wasn't finished.

"Yeah. He's...fancy," Takumi replied dourly.

"You look pretty fancy too today. Nice glasses. Nice shirt. Does it fit?"

"Oh, shut up!" Takumi spat, exasperated, as he reached for the door and had one foot inside the shop when his father spoke again.

"I found it...curious that your buddy Itsuki kept calling the shop this morning, looking for you. Especially when you said you were going to be at his place. Did you lose your cell phone, Idiot?"

 _Just let me in the damn door!_

"Uh, my plans changed last minute," he managed to spit out without faltering too much. "And, no, Old Man, I didn't lose my phone. The battery's dead. Is that all, Inspector Fujiwara?" he asked with a sarcastic tone.

"Yep. That's all."

"Good. I'm taking a damn nap."

"Call that friend of yours first. I'm not going to answer the shop phone for him all damn day after all."

"Yeah. Okay."

Bunta heard the door slam shut.

'Hmm. Well, it seems that Takumi's trying something new...Lord help him.'

He finished his cigarette with a sigh, not sure if he liked what he suspected might have happened the night before or not. It wasn't really expected, but, Takumi was his son. If it made him happy, if _he_ made Takumi happy...

'Let him do it. He'll either learn something, or he'll fall flat on his face, or both. Oh well. Idiot.'


	16. Chapter 16

Takasaki, Saturday, 3:47 PM.

'Unreal,' Ryousuke thought as he drove toward his family home, musing over his initial impressions when he had met the elder Fujiwara the time he'd gone to ask permission to repair the hachi-roku. That impression stayed with him, and it was there again when he dropped Takumi off at home. He thought Takumi shot him a questioning glance when he greeted the man earlier, but it didn't appear like his father was too interested in explaining anything to his son, so that was definitely in Ryousuke's favor. He had just a couple of weeks to try and get that damn hachi-roku running again, and there had been some problems along the way that were causing delays. He only hoped that the decisions he had made about what to do with the car would meet with Takumi's approval, as well as with the approval of his father.

Just meeting the man that was Fujiwara Bunta had been as shocking as he had expected it to be. He felt as though he was in the presence of the two older racers from the Purple Shadow, the ones called the God of Hand and the God of Foot, and Ryousuke wondered just what Fujiwara Bunta was the "God" of. He was the God of Something, of that, Ryousuke was certain. He thought about how much more exhilarating it would be if he were battling Fujiwara Bunta tonight instead of some loser who would only make it to Sudou Kyouichi's second string, and he had the passing thought that a perfect "final test" for Takumi would be to see if he could beat his own father on the Akina downhill. 'Now that race would be legendary indeed,' he mused, having heard that his own race against Takumi had been thusly dubbed by the Gunma area fans.

He wondered what it must be like to have a father who actually nurtured racing, who was a racer himself. It was a passion that they shared, and it was obvious that Takumi had inherited his father's incredible racing sense. Maybe Fujiwara Bunta was the God of Instinct, and Takumi was in line to succeed him in that incredible distinction. He didn't doubt it.

Ryousuke drove through the upscale neighborhood that had been his familiar surroundings since childhood. The older he became, the more he referred to the house as the "family home" or his "Father's home". He just didn't feel like he really belonged there anymore, but he had his reasons for staying despite his Father's urging that he set out on his own.

He felt obligated to his Mother, though the attention she paid to her sons was now minimal at best. He worried for her; her dependence on prescription sleeping pills and who knows what else was entirely out of hand. It pissed him off that, not only did his Father not get the help his wife desperately needed, he actually enabled her by discreetly being her source for the mind numbing drugs. It was sickening to him. There had been many mornings when he'd enter his parents' room before leaving early for classes, just to make sure his Mother was still drawing breath. Ryousuke had no doubt that one day, she wouldn't be, and the thought that he might not be there was very distressing. Her husband probably wouldn't be there, and where he'd be was his condo that sat near to the hospital, likely entertaining his assistant. Ryousuke had discovered that truth by accident several years ago, and it was another reason to despise the way in which his Father chose to live. He knew also that the knowledge of his Father's adultery was a further re-enforcement of the fear that he would someday turn out to be just like him. Ryousuke's own callous attitude toward relationships had, at times, scared him with how similar he could be to the man.

Mother deserved better than that, and so would any wife Ryousuke would end up with himself. He had accounted for that when he had created his simulation, deciding that Tsugumi would be the best fit. If he had to leave casual affairs with men behind, he felt that taking care of Tsugumi would help him to remain loyal and not be led astray by lustful temptation.

He supposed that, somewhere in his psyche, remaining in the family home in his Father's absence somehow proved that he was better than his Father, at least with regard to honor and affection for his family. But, he wasn't entirely sure about that either; Ryousuke ruefully thought that the truth of the matter wasn't as complex as all that. Put simply, he felt like a coward, dutifully going along with his Father's plan. Thinking of his time with Takumi, he wondered if he was tough enough to give his Father the big "fuck you" he always thought he deserved but that which he had not ever dared to provide.

At the moment, the answer to that was the same as it had been for years. Not yet, and perhaps, not ever. Pathetic. So far, the closest thing he got to that was racing, because, as far as he knew, his family was unaware of his affairs.

However, he _would_ be leaving, this time temporarily, and he was sure that even his Mother would probably have preferred that he had left already. The conversations they had lately had centered on only two things: his studies, and the fact that he was refusing to "settle down" with a family of his own. Ryousuke knew that she had been growing impatient toward his bachelor status, and had made subtle hints that there were "several nice girls" she knew who would make for something called a "suitable match". Luckily the response that he was too busy, and her own constant state of half-consciousness was enough to keep the hints subtle. Once he graduated and started working full time at the hospital, however, he was acutely aware that his Father would likely see fit to step in with his own two cents at that time. When that time came, there would be no more gentle pushes in the direction of marriage. Ryousuke would likely find himself with a dictatorial time frame in which to attain the goal of securing a wife and a quick heir to the Takahashi family fortune.

And then, of course, there was Keisuke, his beloved brother, whom he was sure he was about to royally piss off and disappoint.

Even though Ryousuke would eventually leave his Father's home permanently, and Keisuke wouldn't move until his elder brother did, he still wanted to be close to his otouto, to watch over him. Keisuke's turnaround had been so awe inspiring, and Ryousuke didn't want to miss a single moment of it as he continued to evolve as both a driver and as a man.

Ryousuke pulled up in front of the large, multi-story home, tapped the remote for the garage which was clipped to the sun visor, and put the FC in reverse. He backed the car up the long driveway and into the spacious four and a half car garage. As he brought the FC into its normal spot between his mother's neglected Benz and his brother's now wide-body modified FD, he noticed that his Father's Benz was absent. Likely, his parents were still away, probably in Tokyo where Mother would be on the lookout for more "nice girls," while getting their fathers to donate money for the research the hospital was constantly undertaking.

He looked at the FD as he got out of his car, thinking it didn't appear as though Keisuke had driven it since the day before. That was good. Keisuke had definitely been drunk when he left his final voicemail, and Ryousuke had been slightly worried that he might have been impaired enough to think he could drive somewhere. It was some minor miracle that Keisuke had survived his rocky adolescence at all; there were more than a few times when Ryousuke caught his brother snorting coke and drinking in his room before he'd grab his motorcycle helmet to ignore the elder's heated lectures upon catching him in the act, their parents having long washed their hands of him by that time. In a flash, he'd rub the remaining cocaine residue on his gums, put the helmet on, and then exit the house blatantly through the front door while Ryousuke was still yelling at him. He'd jump on his motorcycle to careen off into the night, a defiantly raised middle finger as his only good-bye.

Luckily, Keisuke had never gotten so deeply into using the drug that he couldn't stop, and Ryousuke often marvelled at how tough he was to simply quit most of his drinking and all of his drugging habits once he'd decided to leave the gang and buy his car. He had decided to do it on his own, despite Ryousuke's urgings that he go to a rehab clinic, and he focused hard and he did it. It had impressed Ryousuke, even though he made sure to watch his brother carefully during the process for any signs that he might need hospitalization after all. Even though conventional wisdom would suggest that he stay away from even legal intoxicants, Keisuke had proved again and again that he could handle himself, so, gradually, Ryousuke stopped babysitting him whenever he decided to go out.

Letting him have a few drinks here and there was certainly acceptable now given that he definitely stopped what he was into previously. Now that he was planning to go pro, Ryousuke no longer had the worry that Keisuke would party too much with the wrong thing anymore, the younger brother having a very clear understanding of the phrase "random drug testing" ever since he was arrested that final time.

He passed his fingertips over the hood of the FD anyway to confirm, and the car was definitely cool. Keisuke was likely safe in the house too.

Ryousuke took a deep breath, wondering how Keisuke was going to come at him when he walked into the house. Hopefully he would be able to gauge his mood and explain things in an appropriately calm way. 'Yeah. Right,' he thought. He knew his otouto better than that.

He opened the door and replaced his shoes with slippers. He took off his sport coat, and flung it over his shoulder. The house was quiet; perhaps Keisuke was still sleeping it off. He opened and reached into the refrigerator for some bottled water, and proceeded to walk toward the back stairs of the house. He glanced into the TV room to see if Keisuke was crashed out on the couch the way he used to do whenever he came home drunk or strung out in the past. He wasn't.

Ryousuke went upstairs and toward his room. He still didn't hear anything, and he figured that Keisuke was still asleep after all. If that was the case, he could use the time to think. He stepped through the doorway and everything seemed to be in order. He hung his coat inside the closet and sat down at his desk, flipping on his computer, and taking a drink of water. He had just begun to work on one of his clinicals when he thought he heard the sound of Keisuke's bedroom door open and close.

'Well, here comes trouble,' Ryousuke thought, swiveling around in his chair and finding that his fingers were fidgeting for a cigarette. He heard his otouto go into the bathroom down the hall; Keisuke wasn't lucky enough to have an en suite in his room, but everyone knew that the hall bathroom was his, mainly because no one else would deign to use it. Not even Tsugumi, who ended up sharing Ryousuke's bathroom instead when she stayed over, would venture into any part of Keisuke's messy domain. That, of course, had created a number of varying problems for her cousin. Ryousuke mused upon how that situation might no longer occur. Depending on Keisuke's reaction, he might end up relocating to the apartment until he had to leave for the US. He didn't want it to come to that, but, if Takumi were to decide he wanted to continue to see him, then it would be necessary to spend more time there anyway.

He heard Keisuke exit the bathroom, and his confident footfalls were heading toward the door to Ryousuke's room. Ryousuke grabbed his lighter and a fresh pack of cigarettes and opened the door to the balcony, lighting up as he went.

"Oi. Aniki? Are you back? I'm coming in," Keisuke announced as Ryousuke heard the door open.

"I'm here. Outside," Ryousuke responded. So far, so good. Keisuke sounded like he wasn't upset, just tired and possibly hung-over.

Keisuke went out to the balcony and saw his Aniki smoking again. He squinted, the sun's bright light aggravating his headache. 'Crap. He _has_ to be outside when I'm hung-over. Prick.'

"Ugh," Keisuke muttered, covering his eyes with his hand to shield them from the sunlight. "Aniki, you got any aspirin? Or something stronger? My head is killing me," Keisuke groaned.

"In the bathroom. Get it yourself, and you should drink plenty of water today," Ryousuke said quietly, smiling a little. His brother's t-shirt was inside out, and his sweatpants were on backwards, his bleach-blonde hair more wild with bed head than it was with its normal and intentional disarray. Keisuke was definitely out of practice, thankfully, with drinking hard. Ryousuke remembered nights when he thought Keisuke had to have consumed enough alcohol, coke, and who knew what else to warrant having his stomach pumped. But, he always got up the next afternoon, took a couple of aspirin, and was back out ready to do it again like it was nothing. It actually relieved Ryousuke quite a bit to see that his brother was slightly hung-over.

When Keisuke returned outside, he was still shielding his eyes a bit. Ryousuke handed him the bottled water he was drinking from. "Here. Finish it, and then get another one," he said casually.

Keisuke put two aspirin into his mouth and guzzled the water in a few deep, thirst quenching sips. 'Oh yeah,' he thought as he looked at Ryousuke who was leaning against the railing, a slight half-smile on his face. 'He definitely did _something_ last night. He looks sort of happy. As happy as he gets, I guess. Haven't seen him like that since...wait. Have I ever seen him like that? Anyway, he's pretty relaxed.'

"Thanks, Aniki. I'm going to get another bottle, and I'm coming back. I want to talk to you about something."

"Okay. Bring one for me too, will you?" Ryousuke calmly requested.

"Yeah."

Ryousuke knew that Keisuke would probably rejoin him outside for a smoke, so he went to the side of the house and lowered the awning over the balcony, the light canvas providing both cool shade and an obstruction to the heat of the late summer sun. 'No need to have him suffer too much,' Ryousuke thought. So far, Keisuke was calm, and Ryousuke hoped that he would stay relatively so, even if he didn't think he would.

Moments later, Keisuke reappeared, this time with two water bottles and his sunglasses. He was about to put them on, but decided he didn't need to when he saw that his brother had lowered the awning. "Thanks for that," he said with a light chuckle, motioning to the awning above with his head.

"No problem," Ryousuke answered, lighting up another cigarette and taking one of the bottles. "Sorry about last night, Keisuke."

"Yeah. Whatever. I was a little pissed that you gave Fujiwara a ride, but I got over it. I was just drunk."

"Ah."

"But, that doesn't mean you don't have a little explaining to do, right, Aniki?" he said, lighting up a cigarette of his own. Ryousuke looked at him from out of the corner of his eye. Keisuke had a mischievous sparkle in his eyes despite his hangover. He was smiling. So that's how it is. He wants details. 'Wonderful', Ryousuke thought wryly.

"Keisuke,-"

"You're a total bastard!" Keisuke playfully shouted, then his headache immediately made him regret doing it. He squinted his eyes shut for a moment. "I mean, really," he continued, his voice substantially quieter, "What's the big deal? If you had plans to meet a girl at your apartment later, you should have said so. Prick."

"Keisuke, I didn't have any such plans," Ryousuke replied evenly, but he couldn't keep a flash of the memory of his night and morning spent with Takumi from entering his mind briefly. Unconsciously, he blinked and shook his head slightly.

Ryousuke could feel his brother's eyes studying him intently. Keisuke wasn't going to let this go. "Sure, maybe you didn't at first, but obviously, you changed your mind and took my advice. I can tell. You're...different today," he commented.

Ryousuke shot him a look, frowning slightly. "Oh really?" he asked casually.

"Yeah," Keisuke said rolling his eyes.

"How so? Enlighten me."

"Well, for one thing, you stayed out all night. And, into the next day. I know because I kept getting up from time to time today, checking to see if you were back yet."

"So? I've stayed out plenty of times."

"Yeah. Working. Studying. But this time, you were _playing_!" he exclaimed, squinting again, but pointing a mock accusatory finger at his elder brother. "Ouch," he added, immediately retracting it and putting his hand to his temple instead.

Ryousuke just sighed and continued to lean on the railing.

"You can't admit that you enjoyed taking my advice, can you?"

"I had an enjoyable night," Ryousuke relented calmly, absently running a hand through his hair.

"I fucking knew it. You got laid," Keisuke declared triumphantly. Seeing his brother roll his eyes and frown with disapproval in response to the statement was the clincher. Aniki definitely spent the night with someone, someone good enough to keep him from homework for half a day. Instead of being jealous, Keisuke was thrilled that some other girl had managed to take Ryousuke's mind off of their stupid cousin. He still didn't know why his brother had bothered to drive the weirdo all the way to Akina first, but oh well. "Now, tell me. Who was it? A chick from school, I guess, since you met over there by the campus."

"Keisuke, really, I don't think you want to-"

"Oh, come on. Even when we talked the other day, I could tell you had someone in mind, I even told you so."

"I recall," Ryousuke said flatly.

"So, who is she?"

Ryousuke said nothing.

"At least tell me her name or something," Keisuke continued. Ryousuke saw him put on a wide grin.

"What?" Ryousuke implored, seeing his brother's mischievous expression.

"Heh. Unless you didn't bother to get her name," he quipped with a light laugh.

" _Keisuke!"_ Ryousuke admonished with a cross expression in his eyes.

"I know, I know. I'm just kidding, Aniki. Oh well, if you don't want to say, that's all right. Honestly, I don't care. I just hope this means you won't be talking weird shit about Tsugumi anymore," Keisuke added seriously.

"Ah," Ryousuke simply replied.

Keisuke studied his brother again. For some reason, he suddenly wasn't sure he had heard the last of Ryousuke's weird whatever-it-was about their cousin. "You _are_ going to trash that idea, aren't you?" he cautiously asked.

"I think you were the one who helped with that, if I'm not mistaken," Ryousuke answered. "I also think we covered that topic sufficiently the other day."

Keisuke looked a little sheepish. He really didn't want to ruin his brother's good mood, but, there was something in Ryousuke's demeanor now that he couldn't quite place, something that wasn't there just moments before. "Honestly," Keisuke said quietly, "I'm glad you had fun because I was really starting to worry about you."

That got Ryousuke's attention. "Worry," he repeated. "About what?" he asked quietly.

"About you marrying your own cousin, of course," Keisuke replied with a tone that said the answer should have been obvious.

"You know, Keisuke, marriage between cousins is not uncommon in families like ours," the elder said quietly.

"I know that," the younger replied. "But that doesn't mean you have to."

"Yeah. I know."

"So, are you going to see this girl from last night again?" Keisuke asked, wanting desperately to change the subject lest his brother start talking about making Tsugumi his wife again.

"Is that all you were 'worried' about?" Ryousuke cryptically asked, apparently reverting the conversation back to Keisuke's prior statement.

The FD driver frowned. "What else is there?" He hated when his brother got like this, asking what appeared to be simple questions but, in reality, there was a whole slew of complex meanings behind them that he could never understand, not on the first try at least.

"Keisuke, I think there are a few things I need to tell you," Ryousuke replied seriously. "But, I'd rather not have this conversation outside, so I'm going in."

He walked inside and Keisuke hesitated slightly before following him. He closed the sliding door quietly and stood in front of it. Ryousuke was leaning on his desk sipping his water.

"Well?" the younger prodded, suddenly realizing his shirt was inside out. He walked over to the desk, set his water on it, and fixed his shirt before taking the bottle up again.

"To the best of your recollection, how many people have I been involved with? Socially, I mean."

Keisuke had a bewildered look on his face. "I don't know, I have no earthly idea. I know you're not a monk though, but, does it matter? You're private about it, I respect that."

"Have you ever wondered why I never talk about it?"

"Because you're too classy to kiss and tell?" Keisuke asked with a nervous laugh.

Ryousuke chuckled. "You give me too much credit."

"Eh?"

"When we talked the other day, you implied that I could date anyone I wanted, right?"

"Yeah, I guess I said that," Keisuke replied, intently trying to follow Ryousuke's every word. Instinctively, he suddenly felt that he was about to find something out about his brother that he wasn't going to like. But, what could be worse than finding out he had been crushing on their cousin?

Ryousuke could see a subtle change in Keisuke's posture. It was apparent his otouto already knew that, whatever Ryousuke was about to say, it wasn't going to please him. 'Well, here we go,' he thought. "And I think I told you that if I did what I wanted, I'd probably get disowned."

"Yeah. You did say that, and I still don't really get what you meant."

"Keisuke, what would you say if I told you that women don't really interest me all that much?"

Keisuke had a serious and cautious look in his eyes. He was trying to search for something in his brother's expression, but there was nothing to find. "I'd say I don't know what the hell you're talking about. Is this one of your hypothetical simulations, Aniki?" he asked, his tone flat.

"No, it's not."

"What are you telling me?"

"I'm telling you that I don't care much for women."

"Okay, so you don't like to date much. So what?"

"Keisuke, I think you know that's not what I mean."

Keisuke could feel his heart begin to race. 'Is he telling me...oh my God...is he? No. No way.'

Ryousuke could see that his brother's eyes were beginning to widen with what Ryousuke assumed was understanding, blended with a marked measure of disbelief.

"Aniki, you're not trying to tell me you don't like girls, are you? At all?" Keisuke asked, barely whispering the question.

Ryousuke looked him in the eye. It was time for the blunt truth. "Women are okay. I prefer men, though."

Keisuke felt like a ton of bricks had been dropped on his head. He was stunned silent. His mouth hung open a little, but no words were quite ready to emerge. To say that he was shocked was an understatement. He could feel his chest heaving, as if he'd gotten punched and had the wind knocked out of him. "You're not serious..." his voice trailed off.

"It's the truth. I'm sorry I kept it from you, but, unfortunately, I'm not in a position where that type of thing would be acceptable," Ryousuke continued softly, trying to keep the situation calm. "Do you understand?"

Keisuke nodded. He could feel the sting of tears in the corners of his eyes. Things were starting to make a little sense. Of course their old man would _freak_ , hell, Keisuke was freaking out himself. But, if the old man ever found out about _that_ , well, it was no wonder his brother kept that to himself. He was feeling a surge of compassion well up from within him. God, was there no end to the pressure his brother had to deal with? He didn't care. So what if Ryousuke liked to play for the other team more often than not? Aniki was still Aniki, right?

And then, Keisuke realized something, something he didn't want to believe was possible.

"Oh my God," Keisuke whispered. The compassion disappeared, and he felt like his stomach was twisted into a knot. He could feel his cheeks heating, teeth clenched, his heart pumping. His headache was pounding at his temples, and his blood began to boil with anger.

One look at his brother, and Ryousuke knew he had figured it out. Shit. "Keisuke-"

 _"It's him isn't it?!"_ Keisuke yelled.

Ryousuke closed his eyes. "Please don't shout."

"The hell I won't! Fucking answer me! What the hell is this _shit?!_ You pick _him_ for your little weird sexual experimentation?! That's _bullshit!_ "

"There have been others, and it's not an experimentation. Not for me, at least," Ryousuke calmly replied, but it was no use. He didn't think Keisuke even heard the last part of his statement.

Keisuke stood toe to toe with his brother, staring him down. "This is _shit!_ I refuse to accept this. I don't know what's harder to believe...that you would, or that _he_ would! You better tell me right now that it isn't him!"

Ryousuke gave up leaning on the desk and stood fully. Keisuke was a good couple of centimeters taller than him, and when he was angry, it may as well have been a foot. But, this reaction was expected, and Keisuke deserved to get it out, however he needed to do it.

"Keisuke, none of it was planned. I know he's your friend. It just...happened, but I won't lie to you and say I didn't want it to happen."

 _"Bullshit!"_

"I'm telling you now, because it may happen again," Ryousuke said evenly.

 _"No!"_ Keisuke yelled, his bottle of water immediately dropping to the floor as he grabbed the collar of Ryousuke's shirt and, in one motion, swung his brother away from the desk and, back first, into the sliding glass door. It shuddered on its track with the force of Keisuke's anger, and Keisuke, eyes wild, raised a fist and pulled back, ready to land a solid right hook to his brother's jaw.

Then, he froze.

Ryousuke could see tears beginning to fall freely from Keisuke's eyes, and time seemed to stand still, the seconds feeling like eternities as he waited for Keisuke to strike him. Ryousuke knew he deserved it, he was waiting for it, but, it wasn't coming.

"Do it," Ryousuke commanded softly.

Keisuke was choking on his breath, he was shaking, his cheeks flushed, and his eyes watering.

"I... _can't!_ " he shouted, releasing his hold with a shove, heading purposefully for the door to the hallway.

"Wait."

Keisuke stopped, but didn't turn to face him. "I feel like I don't even fucking _know_ you, but you know _me_!" Keisuke yelled, choking back sobs that he didn't want his brother to see. "How _dare_ you think that you couldn't tell me something like this! How _dare_ you think I, of _all_ people, would go tattling off to the old man like some little _kid!_ "

"Keisuke-"

"No! You fucking _listen_!" He paused, shaking, but he still didn't face Ryousuke, who was trying to be patient and allow him to say whatever he needed to say. Keisuke took a deep breath, and seemed to settle himself. "Who you want to _fuck_ is your business, Ryousuke," he said, his voice eerily calm, like the air before the first lightning strike of a storm. "But, since you decided to fuck _him_ ," he continued, "I can't deal with it. He's my _rival._ My _friend._ Anyone else, and I could have, no, I _would_ have."

The fact that he called his Aniki by name did not go unnoticed by the elder, and it stung.

"It wasn't like that," Ryousuke said quietly.

"I don't give a shit what you say it was like, or wasn't like!" The lightning struck, and Keisuke was yelling once again. "So, I'm really sorry I couldn't oblige you. I wasn't aware that in order to be on D you had to suck Takahashi Ryousuke's _dick!_ "

" _Keisuke!_ That's ridiculous and you know it! _Nothing_ happened during the Project!" Ryousuke strongly retorted, not liking that particular implication.

"Oh yeah?! How the _fuck_ do I know that? I guess you wanted him on the team because you thought he had a sexy ass! That's fucking _great!"_ Keisuke spat.

"Oh, come off it Keisuke. This has _nothing_ to do with why Fujiwara was on the team, and you fucking know it, so grow up," Ryousuke contested hotly. "This has to do with the fact that I didn't keep my control of the situation, that I didn't _want_ to control it anymore."

Keisuke scoffed. "Hah! You expect me to believe that _you_ weren't in control? When Fujiwara is like a little puppy that will do whatever the hell his master says! What-fucking- _ever_!"

"Keisuke, don't make me repeat myself, damn it. It wasn't like that. You know well that Fujiwara is tougher than that!" Ryousuke found that his temperature was rising, and, though he didn't want to be pulled into Keisuke's rage, he was not going to allow his otouto to insult Takumi like that. He should know better. He should know _better than anyone_ that Fujiwara was one tough son of a bitch. This was his anger talking, and Ryousuke hoped that he would step back a bit.

Unfortunately, Keisuke was in no mood. He had his fists balled again, and it looked like the door jamb was his next target, though Ryousuke realized that it was either his face or Takumi's that was bearing the imagined brunt of his rage.

"I already told you I don't give a _shit_ what it was like, or what it wasn't like!" he screamed. "I don't even want to know! I don't even want to _think_ about you...!"

He struck the doorframe.

"and _him_...!"

He punched it again.

"together...!"

A third time,

"like...!"

a fourth, and it cracked,

" _that_!"

Keisuke hit it again and one of the panes of glass within the door cracked too.

 _"Enough, Otouto!"_

Keisuke caught his breath for a moment, and his fists relaxed, and he brought his arms down to his sides. Ryousuke could see the splintered mess of the door jamb, and the blood on both the wood and on Keisuke's hand. "Yeah, it's enough all right," he said quietly. "I'm really not in the mood for one of your long lectures right now, Ryousuke, so if you open your mouth to try to explain this to me, I'm not going to listen. And, I know that I'll never understand this in a million years, from you or from him either, so just don't even try."

"Your hand. I should look at it..." Ryousuke offered quietly.

"No. It's fine. I know how to put on a fucking Band-Aid," he snapped.

"Keisuke,-"

"How _could_ you, Ryousuke? When you know he's my friend and we were supposed to make it big together! How am I supposed to ever _beat_ him now that I know he's got you in his corner when you should be in _mine_?!" Keisuke asked plaintively, and his hurt tone crushed Ryousuke. This was far worse than his rage; this was Keisuke's pain.

"I'll _always_ be in your corner, Keisuke. That won't ever change. Please believe that, and don't blame him for my actions."

Keisuke chuckled. "That's weak."

"I know."

"So, I guess you're going to be at the apartment a lot now," Keisuke declared, as if in defeat.

"Maybe. That's unclear right now."

"It seems pretty clear to me," Keisuke replied, "that you don't just get a hard-on for his driving."

"Keisuke, please. Don't say things like that."

"I'll say whatever I want, Ryousuke," Keisuke's tone remained quiet and cold. "You want to fuck Fujiwara, go for it. I don't give a shit. If you want to make a fool out of me, playing your little favorites, that's fine. I won't say anything about it to the old man or to anyone else. And I won't let it get in the way of signing a good contract. I will take it up with _him_ on the track. And I will _crush_ him. So you better be ready to let him bawl on your shoulder when I do."

"Don't leave like this," Ryousuke said as he saw his brother reach for the doorknob.

"Don't worry. I've got no interest in wrapping the FD around a tree or anything."

"Where are you going?" Ryousuke quietly demanded.

"Not that I feel like I should tell you, but, since _I_ don't keep secrets from my brother, I will. I'm going to the gym, because if I do drive any further than that, I don't know where I'll end up."

"Don't go to Akina, Keisuke. This wasn't his fault, so don't go there looking for him; this is not a request. If you go there, you will have a very serious problem with me."

Keisuke chortled. "What, you're going to protect him from your hot-headed otouto? Like you're in _any_ kind of position to boss me around right now. Don't fucking worry. I don't want to even look at him until I have to when we regroup. I'll suck it up for the team when that time comes. For now, just leave me the fuck alone."

And then, he was gone, leaving Ryousuke to stare at the damaged door frame and the spilled water that was seeping into the carpet. Luckily, there was only one crack in the glass door. It could be easily repaired.

Ryousuke wondered how much harder it was going be to repair the damage he had caused to Keisuke.

For now, he'd repair the door.

.


	17. Chapter 17

Streets of Takasaki, Saturday, 4:59 PM.

Keisuke was driving. It was all he could do. His mind was spinning, and he didn't know how to stop it. He couldn't stop the tears from falling down his face either as he made his way, practically on autopilot, to the local gym he frequented. He couldn't comprehend that his brother... and _Fujiwara,_ his supposed _friend_ …

"Shit!" he exclaimed aloud as he slammed his hand on the steering wheel because some slow-ass sedan caused him to miss the green light. No, that wasn't the reason he shouted, but it was convenient.

Keisuke wiped his eyes with the back of his forearm as he waited at the traffic light, rueful of the fact that he'd left his sunglasses behind. His head was still pounding. It totally figured that the prick didn't have anything stronger than aspirin. "God! Can this light be any slower?! Is it fucking broken?! Damn it!"

He waited impatiently at the light, revving the engine, wishing he could just floor it, and who cares how many K-cars he rear ended in the process of getting to...wherever? Stopped at a red light, no escape, no "best line" to follow, Keisuke had no choice but to think.

He didn't want to admit it, but he had to. Some things about his brother were finally making sense. If he put the thought of Fujiwara aside, which was excruciatingly hard to do, he understood now why his brother was always very tightlipped about his social life, to the point where Keisuke often wondered if he had one. Ever. If the old man found out about _that,_ and if Keisuke was there to witness it, he was sure he'd see the old man beat Ryousuke just as soundly as he used to beat him whenever he managed to be stupid enough to get arrested, or even back when they were little kids and he did little kid stuff. That would be a first, and Keisuke found that the thought of his old man striking his brother was as painful as his own thought of hitting him square in the jaw had been. Keisuke couldn't do it, but he was sure his father could have. No matter how angry he was, the thought of anyone touching his brother with harmful intent was enough to make Keisuke's blood boil with its own rage, and he chastised himself for wanting to do the very same thing to him.

'If only it wasn't _him_!' God-damn it, Ryousuke! Why?!'

The light turned green and Keisuke eased the FD into what felt like barely a crawl, the powerful engine begging to have the throttle opened, but Keisuke kept it closed. The last thing he needed right now was to have some asinine traffic cop to pull him over and see him crying like a little brat as he was handed a traffic ticket.

As he drove, he continued to think about any clue, any sign he should have been able to see that would have told him the truth about Ryousuke before it had come to this.

Wherever they had gone as the Red Suns, and before that, when Ryousuke was racing on the circuit at Gymkhana, the Takahashi brothers always had their fair share of fans, many of whom were girls. Extremely loud, screaming, throwing-their-panties-at-them girls. Keisuke liked the attention at first; his brother, never. Maybe that should have told him something a long time ago. However, for Ryousuke, it had always been about the mental game, the check-mate, Ryousuke's version of the "Fuck you, loser!", where his mentally calculated efforts would produce a shocking victory. He'd go home with a smirk on his face, his fingers itching to type the data of his win into his stupid laptop for further analysis.

Eventually, even Keisuke himself found the persistent female fans to be a distraction, and he did his best to follow his brother's lead and flatly ignore them. He wasn't always as successful as his brother, as usual, and he managed to find time for some of them, eventually making one of them a girlfriend of sorts. That was going along fairly well until Keisuke had found her constant whining and begging for him to be careful to be a hindrance to his improvement as a driver. Even though she was a fan, she was still, well, girly. She felt neglected, and Keisuke didn't want to hurt her like that. He liked her, she was adventurous, like him, but, until he could catch up to Ryousuke, there simply wasn't enough time.

It was too cruel to divide his attention like that, and that reason had held true right up until he met Kyouko on the expedition with Project D to Saitama. There was just no time. In Kyouko, he saw a girl who was a racer, one with a great FD of her own no less, who probably would understand. But, she was still a girl, and she would have need for attention, and he wanted to provide attention to her; he knew he wanted to give his all to her. He liked her. A lot. That's why she was even more of a problem for him than his last girlfriend had been. When they raced, he had the feeling that he wasn't chasing her at all when she drove, rather, he felt compelled, pulled, to follow her, as if they had unlocked the door to their own private world. It was a private world that Keisuke thought he might like to visit again, but, he needed to beat _him_ before he'd allow himself the chance. It was feeling; instinctual, purifying, and enveloping in a warmth that Keisuke had never felt behind the wheel in a battle before. It was definitely a problem, a problem his calculating brother would never let get in the way of his own racing. Ever.

He'd always had the notion that there seemed to be no room in Ryousuke's incredible mind for things like emotions, and he had always thought it was because of the unyielding pressure of his work and his studies, and, of course, his mandate to remain their parents' "perfect son". Even when he talked his weird shit about Tsugumi, it was all part of a mentally calculated plan. Cold. Detached. It was so devoid of feeling, that Keisuke had actually seen a shade of the old man come through in his brother that he immediately chose to ignore. Even Ryousuke himself said he was worried about turning into him, but Keisuke had defiantly reassured him that he was not their old man. He wasn't. Perhaps Ryousuke was cool and calculating, but, deep down, Keisuke knew that no one cared more for him than did his brother. That's why this situation was so tough to bear.

When he compared himself to his brother, Keisuke knew he was the more sensitive, the more prone to give in to emotion, to feeling, than Ryousuke ever would be. But Keisuke couldn't afford to let something like that, or someone like Kyouko, happen while D was ongoing. Especially not with his rival always there, winning, evolving with every battle, absorbing his brother's theory like a god-damn sponge. And yet, it was that cool, detached brother who had succumbed to... _what_ , exactly?

Now that this... _thing_ with Fujiwara had happened…this guy that he was finally getting used to calling his friend as D wound down to the end…what the hell was that kid thinking? And why did it have to be about his _brother_?

"Move it!" he yelled to a semi that had hovered between two lanes with his turning signal on for God knows how long. Instinctively he moved to tailgate the truck, but he pulled back. "No. I'm not the one who's a complete _prick_!"

Unfortunately, Keisuke loved that prick.

When he and his brother had been interviewed for Hot Version Magazine, Keisuke had been so psyched the night before that he was pacing about his room, loudly enough so that Ryousuke actually had ventured to enter it to tell him to shut up because he had some stupid lab report to finish. He was calm. Cool. Nonplussed. Keisuke had been so annoyed, wondering how his brother could react to such an event as if it was as mundane as eating breakfast.

That article was the first to dub them "The Takahashi Rotary Brothers". Keisuke had been so proud to be sharing the spotlight for once with his Aniki, that he was on a natural high for weeks, a high much more exhilarating than snorting coke and beating up some punk because he stiffed some gang-banger acquaintance out of his money for coke or smack, or whatever it was that wasn't paid. For the first time in his life, he was included in something slightly less underground than the gangs, and it was Ryousuke who had enabled that to happen. Ryousuke had already established himself as an elite racer among amateurs, often winning against drivers who had professional experience and many more years under their belts than did he. In fact, Ryousuke never lost a single race he entered, and, if not for their old man who had put the weight of their family honor on his brother's shoulders, Ryousuke's destiny would have been to become the most incredible racing phenom of their generation. In Keisuke's mind, he already was. Ryousuke's supercharged brain was his toughest weapon, and, even now, Keisuke was sure there was no one in the world who was as smart or as amazing as his Aniki. At the time that the interview occurred, Keisuke was scrambling to catch up, eager to drive, eager to make his own name with the FD, his own process still in its infancy. Ryousuke had always been so far ahead, in _everything_. But, even so, his brother had reassured him that he belonged in the sport, and Keisuke wanted nothing more than to show him that he did.

When the issue came out, and an advance copy had finally made it to the mailbox, Keisuke felt like it was made of some priceless material, carefully turning the pages so as not to get so much as a fingerprint on them, lest his grubby hands destroy the glossy image of him and Ryousuke together with their cars, looking stunning against the backdrop of the Akagi Pass at sunset. That photo, that memory, was so firmly etched into Keisuke's mind, that he only need close his eyes to see himself in his favorite pair of cargo pants, and his favorite green hoodie, standing next to the open door of his beautiful yellow FD, a smile as bright as the car. By contrast, Ryousuke had worn black slacks, a black turtle-neck sweater, and a black leather coat, and a half-smile, as he leaned on the white FC looking like he was going to dinner and a show instead of gracing the pages of a magazine aimed toward gear-heads and speed-freaks.

That was the Ryousuke he knew; he was as black and white as that picture of him with his car. He either approved, or disapproved. It may take a few tries to understand the meanings hidden within his trademark long lectures, but the result was the same. Ryousuke was always right. Always. Wasn't he? His decisions were always based on glaringly stark data, not clouded by the haze of feeling. He won decisively. He never lost.

Until _he_ came along and fucked it all up.

This Ryousuke, the one Keisuke was learning about now, was someone else entirely. He was someone who had secrets, someone who had things to hide, even from his brother. He was someone who had, for whatever weird reason, lost control.

Ryousuke was not...perfect.

Sure, Ryousuke could be a total asshole; he could be terribly harsh and unyielding. But, Keisuke had attributed that to his personality, some kind of byproduct of his having been molded since birth to assume the responsibility of the entire Takahashi legacy. Keisuke never took that cool demeanor away from his brother's excellence. He loved him, respected him, even feared him sometimes. He supposed that he idolized his elder brother too much, and he ruefully thought that Ryousuke had been right. Again. Ryousuke had tried to tell him, tried to make Keisuke see that he had created a false image of his Aniki, one that the elder felt he needed to live up to. He thought that the firstborn must be sick and tired of always having to live up to other people's expectations, but he always did it, and Keisuke fell right into acceptance of his brother's normal pattern. However, Keisuke had no idea that something like _this_ was what Ryousuke was trying to tell him...

Another annoying traffic light. It was a conspiracy. A drive as short as this one should not give him this much time to think.

Keisuke hated to admit it, but it made perfect sense. There was no way Ryousuke would let something like this get out, and potentially stand in the way of all he had achieved. If there was one thing Keisuke had thought he'd always known about his brother, it was that Ryousuke would never ultimately go against their father's wishes. He was already retired as a driver. He was preparing Keisuke to go pro, giving him an avenue to escape their childhood home and strike out on his own.

'So...why _now_ , Ryousuke? Why do you do this _now_?' Keisuke didn't understand why or how Ryousuke would lose control at a time like this, with a person like _that_. Since when did his brother take such...risks?

He eventually pulled the FD into the parking lot of the gym and cut the engine. With one more swipe of his eyes with a forearm and a quick raking of his hands through his hair, Keisuke popped the trunk and alighted from the car. He retrieved his gym bag and made his way toward the door. He needed to do _something_ physical, or else he would be tempted to take that drive to the very place he was told not to go.

Keisuke walked inside, making his way toward the locker room where he changed and stowed his bag, trying to piece together how the hell this could have come about. He wondered what had happened that caused Ryousuke to abandon his plan to marry Tsugumi and immediately put his attention on Fujiwara, all in one weekend.

He walked toward the free weights, stopping to load the maximum weight he could bench press on an available bench. Then, realization hit him. 'He had already wanted it. Oh, my God. He said Tsugumi was _safe_. Did he _know_ already that he saw Fujiwara...like that? Did he think that the weirdo would actually make him lose it one day? Was that what he meant by safe? If Tsugumi was 'safe', then Fujiwara must be...? Unsafe? How? Why? Who the hell _are_ you, Aniki?'

Keisuke lay down on the weight bench and hefted the barbell in a few angry bench presses as he thought about what Fujiwara could have been thinking. He knew the kid looked up to his brother, but Keisuke couldn't really fault him for that. He also knew that Fujiwara was always a little skittish around Ryousuke, except when he was receiving his battle instructions. Keisuke had seen it for himself; those were the times when his whole demeanor shifted, and he turned into that monstrous, crazy bastard behind the wheel. Maybe he was some kind of abnormally weird whack-job after all.

'What the hell did you do to my brother, Fujiwara?!' The mental question was followed by others, like 'what about Fujiwara's girlfriend? What the fuck happened with her?' and then, 'Isn't he a little... _young_ , Aniki?' And the even more bizarre question of…'who did what?' 'Well,' he thought, 'the answer to that is pretty obvious, but, then again, who the hell knows anything anymore? Fujiwara could be a tough little bastard so…Wait. What the _hell_ am I friggin' thinking?!'

No. He wasn't going _there_. He was working out. He was _not_ driving to Akina later. He was _not_ going to yell at Ryousuke again today. Maybe.

His physical exertions were not doing the job of keeping the mental images of his brother and Fujiwara in some kind of embrace, or worse, at bay. He rose, and put on another ten kilos, hoping that maybe he could just sweat it all away. What he wanted to do was to drop a few of the weights on Fujiwara's...

'No. I'll settle it with _him_. I'm not letting _him_ fuck up my brother's head any more than he already has!'

It was confusing and unsettling. He had always known that Ryousuke admired Fujiwara's skills, and the Ryousuke he knew did nothing without reason. The weirdo really did belong on Project D. Keisuke immediately regretted the insinuation he had made about the true reason for Fujiwara being chosen for D, but he was still too angry enough at both of them to really care. Ryousuke deserved to hear it for all the shit Keisuke was now having to think about.

First, Ryousuke had told him of his brilliant plan to marry Tsugumi. Great. Then, he lets it out that he's gay, or bi, or whatever. Fantastic. And he fucked Fujiwara, and might do it again. Perfect. It was too much for Keisuke to handle in a matter of a few days. Too much.

'He should have _known_ I could deal with anything but _that_! Why the fuck did he even tell me at all?!' Keisuke thought wildly, frustrated that there was probably a reason that Ryousuke chose to tell him when he did instead of waiting, a reason Keisuke did not understand at all.

Keisuke was struggling with the weights, his body not even registering the pain. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw one of the trainers approach him.

"Excuse me, Takahashi-san, but, you should have a spotter for that much weight," the man said with concern.

"Bite me," Keisuke said over ragged gasps. The trainer recoiled, bowing slightly as he turned away. 'Damn.' Keisuke rested the weights back down. He took a drink of water. "Hey man, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap," he said to the trainer's retreating form.

The trainer turned and bowed again. "I can spot you for a while before my next client," he offered.

"Nah. I'll reduce the weight. Thanks anyway," Keisuke said quietly, standing up to remove some of the heavy disks from the barbell.

'Thinking _sucks_!'

He wasn't sure about anything, and thinking was making his anger worse instead of better. He might not go to Akina, but there was no way he was letting this go without understanding it. The only thing he could do was to try and talk to Ryousuke again later, to try not to lose it with him. Yeah, right.

He was still not in the mood for one of Ryousuke's long lectures. He was still royally pissed that his brother would have chosen Fujiwara, of all people, when he had to have known how much it would hurt him. Admittedly, although they were friends, he actually didn't know a whole lot about Fujiwara personally, so he felt that the fault mainly lay with his brother. But he needed an answer from someone, anyone. He thought only of the one person whom he felt knew Ryousuke better than anyone. Keisuke didn't want to believe it, but, perhaps, this person knew Ryousuke better than he did.

He abandoned his workout and scrambled to shower and change. He was pissed, but he tried to tell himself not to be angry at his brother's friend, his friend, even if it turned out that Fumihiro knew all along. He just needed some kind of answer.

He started the FD and drove toward Fumihiro's home, the angry tears stinging his eyes once again.

* * *

Fumihiro's House, Takasaki. Saturday, 6:25 PM.

Fumihiro Hiroshi was having a light supper in front of the TV when a knock was heard at the front door. He rose, set his plate of pasta down, and went to answer it.

Looking out the window, he saw the familiar yellow FD in the driveway.

'He knows,' Fumihiro thought with a sigh, knowing he was about to get an earful. Thankfully, he had made a big batch of linguini, so perhaps he could calm Keisuke down with food.

He took a deep breath, and opened the door just as Keisuke was raising his hand to knock a second time.

"Keisuke-"

"How long have you known about my brother?" Keisuke asked, not bothering with a greeting.

"Uh-"

"Just tell me how long, damn it, Hiroshi!"

Fumihiro looked at the younger Takahashi, and he could tell that he had been crying, and, as expected, he was angry.

"Several years, Keisuke," Fumihiro replied quietly.

Keisuke could feel his teeth clench. But, he told himself that this was not Fumihiro's fault. He couldn't lose it with him too. "So I'm really the last to know. That's wonderful," he sarcastically said, his voice low and almost a whisper.

Fumihiro's heart went out to him. He was devastated. He mentally chastised Ryousuke for a second, but he let it go. "I just made some pasta, Keisuke. Come in and have some."

The younger sibling considered. He really didn't want to go home, and he really felt he was in danger of cruising toward Akina if he just drove around aimlessly. And, Fumihiro was an excellent cook.

"Thanks," he relented softly, as he entered through the door that Fumihiro held open for him. He toed off his shoes and followed his brother's best friend through the house toward the living room.

"Sit down, Keisuke, I'll get you a plate."

"Okay. Thanks."

Fumihiro watched as Keisuke settled into the sofa, and he went to his kitchen to get a bowl of pasta for him. Years ago, Fumihiro had not understood Keisuke at all. He had known the Takahashi family for years, having grown up in a neighborhood close to theirs and having attended the same private schools as Ryousuke, even though Ryousuke was a couple of years behind him. Keisuke had been kicked out of so many schools that Fumihiro didn't see much of him when they were younger. At the time, Fumihiro just disregarded Keisuke as a typical "problem child" and he didn't pay much attention to him, almost forgetting that his best friend Ryousuke had a little brother at all.

He remembered one day back when he was a sophomore in college and Ryousuke was taking an English class at the university which happened to put them in the same class. Ryousuke had English tutors for several years and so was beyond the high school level; he was only high schooler in the class, so naturally, he didn't make any friends. One day, he looked over at him and saw that he had his elbow on his desk and his chin resting on his hand. Shockingly, he was sleeping in class. He stood up and walked out when the rustling of the other students woke him as they were preparing to leave the room. Fumihiro had to jog to catch up to his younger friend as he was walking out of the lecture hall to his family's car service.

"Ryousuke, what's up with you today? I've never seen you nod off like that," he had remarked.

Ryousuke had turned to him, and, for the first time, Fumihiro thought his confident, yet quiet friend was about to cry. "My brother got arrested last night."

"What? Oh man, your dad must have hit the roof!"

"No, Shiko," Ryousuke had replied calmly. "He hit Keisuke."

After that, Ryousuke had told him that apparently Keisuke had fallen into the wrong crowd, and that he had started going around with a motorcycle gang, getting into fights, and drinking underage, and probably other things too. Keisuke was sixteen at the time, and bought a bike and was driving it around despite the fact that he didn't yet have a license to do so. He always knew peripherally that Keisuke was kind of a troublemaker, and it had always amazed him at how the two brothers could be so different while being raised in the same house. He knew he didn't have all the details, but he knew Ryousuke enough to know when something was seriously bothering him.

"What are you going to do, Ryousuke?" Fumihiro remembered asking.

"I have no idea. Yet. I've got to go," Ryousuke had answered, making his way toward his car service. But, in that moment, Fumihiro had the notion that Ryousuke was planning something already. Later he had found out that Keisuke had never been included in anything, never mind in their parents' attention or praise, and Fumihiro had a sudden compassion for a kid who had to live in the incredibly long shadow of his best friend. Keisuke might have seemed like a naughty, spoiled rich kid to everyone else, but, to Ryousuke, he was a treasure. Apparently, Keisuke had never had it easy at all growing up.

As the years went by, Ryousuke indeed had done something, and Keisuke had turned it all around. Once Fumihiro had gotten to know the younger Takahashi, he found that he appreciated his energy, his lust for adventure, and his pure heart. Sure, he was still a bit of a wild child, and he had a hot temper that had to be reigned in occasionally, but those moments were becoming more and more occasional.

But, Ryousuke was often harsh with him, as if he sometimes forgot all the progress Keisuke had made in his life. The time that those thugs had spilled the oil on the course in Project D's final Saitama expedition was a prime example of that. Keisuke crashed the car. He was devastated, pissed, ready to chase the culprits down, and Ryousuke was having none of his attitude. Fumihiro thought that it was pretty cruel to admonish Keisuke like he did in front of the whole team. But, they had work to do, so he didn't address it with his friend right away, though he tried to make a point to tell Ryousuke that he was too hard on his brother from time to time.

Later that night, when their opponents had called in reinforcements, ready for a fight, it was Keisuke who asserted himself, forgetting his brother's harsh words, and, perhaps, understanding them as only Keisuke could. Fumihiro wanted to stay behind with them, but Ryousuke's orders were clear. If things escalated, he was to lead the rest of the team away and leave things to them. He had looked Keisuke in the eye, and asked him to make sure no harm came to Ryousuke.

"I got it. You can count on it," Keisuke had said seriously.

When the situation was resolved with no ill-outcome to the team or to the vehicles, Fumihiro had found that his appreciation for Keisuke had doubled in an instant. He loved his brother. He was tough. Fumihiro hoped that the love and toughness he had shown in that moment would help him get through the bombshell Ryousuke had apparently just dropped on him.

"Here you go, Keisuke. Enjoy," Fumihiro said as he handed the younger Takahashi his pasta. "I'm just going to re-heat mine a little, and I'll be right back."

"Okay. Thanks. I'm sorry to barge in like this, Hiroshi," Keisuke said quietly, spinning the linguini around his fork.

"Don't mention it. You are always welcome here."

"Thanks," Keisuke replied, somewhat deflated. It appeared that his anger, though still underlying, had been overlaid with confusion and hurt. It was horribly distressing to see the normally exuberant blonde like this. 'Ryousuke, you've really done it this time,' he thought.

A quick minute with the microwave later, and Fumihiro found himself sharing an oddly quiet dinner with Keisuke. He looked over at him from time to time as they ate, and his eyes were focused on the TV, but it was obvious that his mind was definitely elsewhere.

Once they had finished their final forkfuls of pasta, and sipped the tea that Fumihiro had also prepared, Keisuke spoke.

"That was really good, Hiroshi. Thanks again."

"No problem."

He stared at the TV for a few more minutes. "Has Aniki...always been..."

"Yeah. I think so."

"Oh."

Keisuke considered the statement, and Fumihiro thought there might have been some understanding in his expression. "So this isn't something new, then?" Keisuke quietly asked.

"No."

"Oh," he said again. He seemed to know that would be the answer, on some level. "Did you know about...last night then too?" he asked, and Fumihiro could hear the frustration in his quiet tone.

"Not until this morning. I had no idea he left with Fujiwara. He didn't say a word about that."

Keisuke chuckled a little. "Because he knows it's bullshit."

Fumihiro sighed. "I'm not too sure about that. He was...different when I talked to him about it."

Keisuke shot him a look. "What do you mean, different?" he asked, remembering how Ryousuke had almost looked happy to him when he first saw him at home.

"I just think, that, maybe, this isn't the same as some of his other..." Fumihiro's voice trailed off. He wasn't sure if he should be saying so much about Ryousuke's private life, but Ryousuke had pretty much left him no choice. If Keisuke came to him, he needed an answer, an answer he didn't get from whatever interaction he had with his brother. He noticed the bandage on his right hand, but chose to say nothing; he didn't think Keisuke had struck his brother. Likely, a wall had paid the price. Still, Fumihiro didn't know what to call Ryousuke's whatever-they-were exactly himself.

"His other relationships?" Keisuke offered.

"I don't know if you could call them...relationships, exactly."

The younger man furrowed his brow.

"As far as I know, he wasn't particularly...attached to any of them."

Keisuke chuckled again. "I guess that would be typical of him."

"I suppose he knew that a relationship like that wouldn't go over very well with your father. I'm sure he purposely kept himself from getting too close to any one person, knowing that he'd probably have to marry someday, as I'm sure your parents will require," Fumihiro said gently.

"Yeah. I know all about that shit," he replied, and Fumihiro could tell that he at least understood that much. That was good. A few more seconds passed, and Keisuke set down his empty cup.

"He could have told me, you know. I wouldn't have had a problem with it. I wouldn't have said anything to the old man."

"I'm sure he knows that. But, he hasn't really been focused on his personal life lately. He had more important things to think about with school and Project D, and, with you."

"Then why _now_?" Keisuke asked, almost pleading, hoping that Fumihiro had the insight into his brother that he was so obviously lacking.

"He would have told you eventually, maybe after he was already married and all of his other...affairs were left behind. That's the only thing I can think of. As for why now, well, I'm not really sure why myself. That's the reason I said he was different. Something about what happened last night caused him to rethink his timetable for telling you."

"What's so god-damn special about Fujiwara then? I don't fucking get it!" Keisuke exclaimed hotly.

"Only Ryousuke and Fujiwara know the answer to that, if they even do," Fumihiro began calmly. "Honestly, I had a feeling that your brother was interested in him, but he had never said anything about it directly, I suppose because of D. But last night, I kind of saw something I guess," he finished carefully.

Keisuke said nothing. Hadn't he just realized himself that Ryousuke could have been interested in Fujiwara for a while too? Shit.

"I warned him about it. Told him it was a bad idea, and to put it out of his mind. I even told him Fujiwara had a girl he was seeing. Keisuke, you need to believe that I thought that put an end to it. I had no idea that he would do what he did, or that Fujiwara would go along. I have no explanation for that. At all."

"I guess I just can't picture Ryousuke thinking with something other than his brain," Keisuke said sarcastically.

"So you think it was lust, or something?" Fumihiro asked.

"I don't know what the hell to _think_. But yeah. Maybe. For whatever screwed up reason, he decided to fuck him. That's all I know, and I'm pissed. At both of them."

"I don't think it was something like that," Fumihiro contended calmly, letting Keisuke's foul-mouthed comments pass for today. Even he didn't think it was just physical this time; it was definitely something unique in Ryousuke's personal life. He had been shocked when Ryousuke had simply said he lost control. Fumihiro was pretty sure that any of his other dalliances were certainly controlled by Ryousuke, and not by the other person. With Fujiwara, Ryousuke had said it was more than he expected. That spoke volumes to his best friend, and he thought that perhaps Ryousuke found himself in a situation where he might have to question his ability to remain emotionally detached. It was incredibly unlike him, but Fumihiro had wanted his friend to find some happiness in his life. He knew for sure that medical school definitely wasn't bringing it to him. If Ryousuke thought Fujiwara could bring something to his already full life that he was missing somehow, Fumihiro found that he couldn't judge it really.

"If I'm correct, Keisuke, I think he may have had an interest for a while. If it was just to satisfy something physical, then, there are...other people he knows." There was no other way to say it. It was probably not a nice thing to say about his best friend, but Fumihiro knew enough to know that it was true. Keisuke was no angel, nor was he a stranger to occasionally giving into things like that despite the fact that he had abstained for the better part of two years. In that regard, Ryousuke and Keisuke were more similar than they probably realized. This last year had given them plenty of other things upon which to focus.

"If it had been one of those 'other people'," Keisuke replied with no hesitation, "I wouldn't give a shit. I know he's private about stuff. I can't even say how many people he's ever dated, except I think he was with some chick named Kaori for a while who'd dead now. But even that was...short. I think. Hell, I have no clue. But...since it's _him_..."

"Yeah. That makes it tough. It might make it tough for a lot of people. It makes it tough for me, believe me. So, there had to be something there that caused Ryousuke to do it anyway, don't you think?"

"Whatever," Keisuke said offhandedly. "Hiroshi, I honestly want to beat the shit out of both of them, but, I'll suck it up. Somehow. Until our contracts are signed and everyone knows where they're going."

"Yeah. For now, I'd say that's for the best."

Keisuke stood to leave.

"Keisuke, can I tell you one more thing?"

"Sure."

"Ryousuke doesn't have much time left either. You understand what I mean, right?"

"Yeah."

"Is it so bad to see him happy?"

Keisuke was still for a minute. "No. That's why it sucks."

"Ah."

"Thanks for dinner. And for, you know, not just being Aniki's friend."

"You don't have to thank me for being your friend. Give Ryousuke a chance. I know it's hard to understand a person like him sometimes, but I know you'll try."

"Yeah, I'll try. But I just won't promise I'll ever like it. Even if I beat Fujiwara, when I have my rematch with him in the pros, I'll always wonder if it was because I'm a better driver, or that I was just more pissed off than him. I don't want to win if I only won because I was pissed and drove a car to hell and back."

"Keisuke..." Fumihiro breathed.

"Ah fuck it. I always say stupid shit when I have to think."

"That's not stupid at all." It was an incredibly deep thought. Ryousuke really needed to fix this.

"I'm going to take off. I'm done thinking for now," Keisuke said as he walked toward the door.

"Okay. Try and talk to him."

"Yeah."

With that, Keisuke was gone, and Fumihiro cleared the dishes. 'Time to make a phone call, I suppose.'


	18. Chapter 18

Takahashi Residence 7:16 PM. Saturday.

Ryousuke was engrossed in the second of the three clinical reports he had to turn in with his team later in the week. With the shitty night rotation beginning the following night, time was going to be even more precious. He kept glancing at the clock on his screen, trying to be mindful of the little time he had tonight in which to work. Keisuke had yet to return, but that was expected. Ryousuke didn't know where he went, aside from the gym, but, something was telling him that Keisuke didn't go to Akina. He was hoping that his brother would come back before he had to depart for Irohazaka, but, as the hours went by, Ryousuke was beginning to think that it would not be the case.

He closed his laptop and grabbed his other one, the one used mainly for his racing data. It was time to do a final check of the FC before he headed out.

He walked downstairs and was about to enter the garage when his cell phone rang. He set the computer down on the kitchen counter and reached into his pocket to answer the phone. One look at the number and he knew something was up.

"This is Ryousuke."

"Hey, it's Hiroshi. Keisuke just left here."

"Oh," Ryousuke said simply. "How was he?"

"About as expected."

"Ah."

"I guess I don't have to tell you he's pissed, and hurt."

"No. I know that," Ryousuke replied, putting a hand to the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. "But, if he figured out that I was with Fujiwara later, by himself, things would be worse, I think."

"Yeah, I guess." Fumihiro paused. "Ryousuke, I, uh, had to tell him some things. Things you probably would rather I had not shared. He wanted some answers, and, there wasn't much I could do about it. Forgive me."

Ryousuke sighed, removing his hand and putting it in his pocket, palming his cigarettes and wanting one, knowing that Keisuke probably was now aware of how his other affairs usually went. But, that was for the best anyway. "There's nothing to forgive. If he had stayed behind, I would have told him everything myself."

"Would you have?"

"Yeah. It was a mistake to have kept it from him this long. I realize that now."

Fumihiro found that he wasn't as surprised as he thought he'd be to hear Ryousuke admit his mistake. "He doesn't care about your preferences, you know. I think he was more pissed that you might have felt he'd run to your dad or something with it."

"Yeah. He told me something like that too. I knew he wouldn't do that, though."

"And, of course, because it's Fujiwara."

"Yeah."

"Ryousuke, tell me the truth," Fumihiro cautiously began. "Was it...just physical with him? Like with the other ones?"

Ryousuke was slightly taken aback by the blunt question, but it deserved an answer. "No. It wasn't just physical. Not for me."

"I see," Fumihiro replied. It _was_ different this time. "For him? I mean, he's...young."

"Honestly, I'm not sure," Ryousuke replied, sensing Fumihiro's concern about Takumi's age relative to his own age. "I'd like to think the answer to that is no. But, as you might imagine, Takumi needs some time to think, and the least I can do is give that to him. And, yeah," Ryousuke added dryly, "He's young. Don't remind me of that too often, will you?"

He actually heard Fumihiro chuckle slightly. "Well, he's handsome."

"Takumi is beautiful. God, I've been so damn selfish, Shiko."

"So it's 'Takumi', then, is it? You've said it twice now," Fumihiro observed.

Ryousuke didn't even catch his own utterances; Fumihiro was always incredibly perceptive, and annoyingly observant. Ryousuke both loved and hated that about his friend, though he realized he needed exactly what Fumihiro provided in times like these. Why was it that calling Takumi by name was so damn appealing? And easy? "Yeah. Takumi," Ryousuke repeated, momentarily re-living a flash of their passionate moments, and wishing he could forget the battle and just go to him. No. The young one needed time to think.

"So I take it today went well with him?"

Ryousuke took a deep breath. "Parts, yes, but he's...unsure. As one might expect. I asked him to think about it, and I...hope he does."

"What are you going to do if he decides he wants to be with you? You must know that some kind of relationship like that won't work out."

"I haven't thought my way around that too much. I don't know what decision he'll make after all."

"Ryousuke, really. There _is_ no thinking around that!" Fumihiro strongly asserted. "You really think your father's going to ignore something like that?"

"Of course he won't."

"Then why put yourself through it all then? You really need to make sure Fujiwara knows this is not something that can be long term."

"I think he knows that."

"But?" Fumihiro implored, sensing his friend had something else to add.

"I don't think I like that," Ryousuke said quietly.

"Ryousuke!"

"I told you, Shiko. I'm human. What else can I say?"

"He made you that happy?" Fumihiro almost whispered.

"He did, and, maybe he always has from the moment I laid eyes on him, the moment I raced him. Who knows when it really started, I guess. And, if he says no, then I know I'll feel like I ruined him."

"Ryousuke..."

"I know. Very unlike me, isn't it?" he replied with a wry chuckle.

"Yes. It is. But, you know, you do have a right to be happy. If it weren't for your father, would you want to continue things with Fujiwara?"

"I would. Whether or not he would is the question I don't have an answer for."

"Ryousuke, you have feelings for him, don't you?"

"Yeah," he paused. This was terribly uneasy. Ryousuke assumed this type of truth always was, especially for someone like him. "I suppose I have to admit that I do. I saw sides of him that I never knew were there, beautiful things. I find I don't want to let it go, even if I probably have to. I'm a selfish bastard, and I know it."

Honestly, Fumihiro wished he could be happy for Ryousuke, but he was a realist, and he had always thought that Ryousuke was even more of one. To hear such words coming from his old friend was indeed surprising. But, he supposed, that something about Fujiwara moved him, and he accepted that. "It's okay to be a little selfish from time to time. It's just, well, the person you chose. Keisuke is having a hard time. He thinks that if he wins over Fujiwara in a rematch that it won't be a reflection of his skills, only a reflection of how pissed off he is."

"So that's really it, then."

"Yeah. It was a pretty profound insight, actually."

"Keisuke is a deeply emotional person. I'm not surprised that's how he'd feel. Shit."

"I told him he needs to try and talk to you again. I hope he will."

"I do too, but I think need to give both Takumi and Keisuke their space right now. I need to step back and let them be by themselves for a while. Though I do wish Keisuke would come home; I'm worried about him."

"I don't think you need to be. He's grown. He'll handle it, eventually."

"I suppose I don't give him nearly enough credit."

"You often don't," Fumihiro affirmed.

Ryousuke chuckled. "I know. Well, I need to get going. I have to go out."

"With him? Again?" Fumihiro incredulously asked.

"No, nothing so pleasant as that."

"Oh." Ryousuke was actually falling for him. Hard. This was almost unbelievable, but, Fumihiro believed it. "Okay, then. I'll call you if I hear from Keisuke again."

"Please do. I'm grateful for you, Shiko."

"Just fix this, Ryousuke, okay? And do it before our final meet-up, will you? I don't want any strife between you and Keisuke."

"I know. Later."

"Bye."

Ryousuke closed the call, wondering what the hell he had done. Keisuke was pissed and hurt, Takumi was unsure, and he himself was actually afraid. He was afraid that Keisuke wouldn't come around, that he might have lost some of the closeness with his otouto that he had grown to treasure. He was afraid Takumi would tell him no. He had the right; it could easily happen. And, if it did, Ryousuke found that going to America would probably be the best thing he could do. At least he'd be too far away to do any more damage, and he could deal with being alone, well, by himself.

Pathetic. He picked up the laptop and opened the door to the garage, pressing the button to activate the opener for the large bay.

He was angry with himself again too; the hurt he had caused his brother was horribly unfair, horribly cruel. He knew he was always harder on Keisuke than he was on anyone else, but it was only because he saw potential within his brother that he didn't see within himself. Keisuke needed to live the Dream, so he could be free to do as he pleased in this life. There was nothing Ryousuke wanted more for his brother, and he worried that Keisuke would not be as trusting of him now as he had been over the last couple of years.

Keisuke felt betrayed. There was no way to gloss over it, or to make it less than it was. Truthfully, Ryousuke thought that his two Aces were more like separate equals than anything, but, obviously, his personal affections had made it appear now that he had been playing favorites after all, even though nothing of the sort ever occurred while D was ongoing. He hadn't been as tough verbally on Takumi; he knew that. But, he never felt he had to be, knowing that Takumi was absorbing everything, taking in his words and instructions like a baby learning from its mother.

'God. He is young. Damn.'

He knew intellectually that Takumi was only nineteen, though he possessed maturity beyond his years, especially when he was behind the wheel. However, hearing Fumihiro point his youth out directly forced Ryousuke to look it in the face. He really hoped he hadn't ruined him, his body had been so exquisite, and, though it barely seemed possible, his whole being was even more amazing, if a bit odd. There was also that unpredictability as well, which had been an incredible asset for the Project, but had definitely thrown Ryousuke for plenty of loops in their time together earlier and in the evening before. It was so hard to plan anything when it concerned Takumi as a person and not as his Downhill Ace, and that was definitely one of the most dangerous things about him. He didn't think that was necessarily a product of his youth per se, rather that it was probably just the type of person Takumi _was_. Wasn't that what he wanted to find out anyway? Just who this person _was_ who appeared from obscurity and had the ability to turn his whole life upside-down?

He opened the door to the FC and popped the hood, and he brought over a small table for the laptop. He lifted the hood, and hooked the computer up to the data ports he had installed on the car. He flipped the computer on and called up his diagnostic software.

He got in the car and turned the ignition, letting the car idle for a few moments while he checked the tire pressure of all four tires, making adjustments here and there with a portable air pump. He walked over to the laptop and scanned the data. Everything was in order. 'All right.'

He turned off the engine, and unhooked the wires. He closed the computer, shut the hood, and looked at his watch. He closed his eyes, trying in vain to hear the familiar sound of the FD in the distance, the sound that said Keisuke was on his way home.

Nothing.

He brought the computer into the house and back up to his room, the door looking oddly asymmetrical with the missing broken pane which he had removed, after Keisuke left, with a few quick scores to its seal from a utility knife. The door jamb had been cleaned, and filed down smooth, but it still needed a coat of varnish that would have to wait.

It was still quite warm outside, and he changed into a light button up shirt, forgoing a coat because Keisuke wouldn't be there to hold it for him while he raced. He went back to his other laptop, opened a file and printed out a few pages, trying not to re-read their contents, as he left and returned to the garage. Tonight, the failed simulation that had made Tsugumi his wife was to be brought to its final end. The important thing to do now was to make sure this Watanabe Shun would have nothing further to do with her; it was his duty as her surrogate big brother, and that's what he was to her after all. Even if Takumi said no, Ryousuke would not return his affections to Tsugumi again. He was actually relieved to have that feeling that there would be no more difficult nights pondering the morality of that.

Unfortunately, he now had to fix everything else. At least the glazier was called for. The door would be repaired on Monday with a perfectly new pane of glass. Maybe he'd hear sooner than later from Takumi. He hoped so. And Keisuke...

'Well, first thing's first. Time to play a little game,' he thought as he climbed into the FC and started the engine. Even if it was against some poser, it was a race, and had a certain measure of excitement to it anyway. Watching Keisuke, watching Takumi, seeing them evolve before his eyes from his position on the sidelines was incredible, but there was still nothing quite like getting behind the wheel, ready for a battle of his own. There was no more time to wait for Keisuke. Hopefully, he would be home when Ryousuke returned.

He eased the car out of the garage, closing it with the remote. He set out for Irohazaka, shifting his laser focus to the battle at hand, leaving the other, more challenging ones for a bit later.

* * *

Hill Climb of Akina Pass, 8:18 PM, Saturday.

Takumi sat silently like he normally did, chin on his hand, arm braced at the elbow on the door frame beside the navi-seat window of his best friend's hachi-go. As they climbed to the summit of Mt. Akina, Takumi thought about how he hadn't wanted to go out at all. He had wanted to stay asleep, though, truthfully, he had barely dozed. But Itsuki, as usual, found some way of persuading him to go, ostensibly to show him his improvement on the hill climb.

"You're handling the turbo very smoothly now, Itsuki," Takumi remarked quietly, staring out the window, as Itsuki deftly rounded the third hairpin curve.

"Really?" asked the hachi-go driver, relieved that his friend had finally said something.

"Yeah. Did you already install those new shocks and struts?"

"You got it! I wanted to surprise you and just show you. Iketani-senpai helped me to install them this morning. It really makes the finicky turbo a lot easier to manage."

"I can feel the difference, and you seem more confident in the settings of the car now. You're pushing it more."

"You really think so?" He saw Takumi half-nod in the affirmative. Not wanting more silence, Itsuki prattled on, hoping to get more of a response from Takumi, who seemed restless though he was still. "I've been practicing a lot, and I just was getting annoyed with how shaky the car was on the exit of a corner with the turbo. But, I couldn't really do anything with the suspension. Too pricey, and, let's face it, not easy to find a new suspension set-up for a hachi-go. But upgrading the shocks makes a noticeable difference to me anyway. It's fine for what I need."

"You're improving every time," Takumi said plainly.

"Thanks. You know how much that means to me, coming from you."

"Whatever."

They fell into silence again. Something was definitely bothering Takumi. He was always spaced out, but, tonight he seemed downright depressed about something. Itsuki, of course, wondered if it had anything to do with him getting a ride home from the club with Takahashi Ryousuke. Especially since Takumi had not arrived home until much later the following day, Itsuki found that his mind began to return to the words of the senpai from the night before. Did he crash at the Takahashi _house_? Were they really that tight? Was Takumi really _crushing_ on Takahashi Ryousuke? God, he hoped not.

He had tried Takumi's cell several times with no luck, and he knew he was starting to piss off Takumi's dad when he kept calling the shop. He hoped he didn't get Takumi into trouble or anything, but Takumi's dad was kind of, well, an odd parent if ever there was one. No wonder Takumi was strange.

Eventually, Takumi called him back, relieving Itsuki from feelings that were turning to worry for his friend. While on the phone with him, begging him to come to the mountain, his friend had barely said yes. Itsuki had about a million questions to ask him, but, once he saw Takumi when he picked him up, he thought better of it. Sometimes it was best simply to drive together, to head up the mountain that was more like a comfortable sanctuary whenever either of them had some problem they needed to work out. Itsuki had the feeling this would be one of those times, when they just needed to sip canned coffee and talk about everything except what was really going on. Eventually, Takumi would talk, but he was often hard to understand. Itsuki was used to that, and he could mostly figure him out. Takumi had a way of saying something while saying nothing that was infuriating, but that was Takumi.

Itsuki pushed the car up the final ascent, heading toward the parking area in front of Lake Akina.

"How about some coffee, Takumi? I'll buy it this time," Itsuki offered.

"Sure. Thanks."

Itsuki parked the hachi-go, and they both got out, Takumi heading toward the small, sandy beach where he picked up a rock and skipped it over the gently lapping waves of the lake. Itsuki watched him for a minute, trying to find a non-verbal answer to his questions. He found none, and dug in his pocket for enough yen to feed the coffee machine.

When he returned to his friend, Takumi had apparently thrown enough stones into the depths, and he was staring at the lights of the homes on the other side of the lake, either deep in thought, or spacing out. 'He's really in dreamland today,' Itsuki thought.

"Here you go. It's hot," he said, handing Takumi the warm can.

"Thanks."

As they both sipped, Itsuki studied Takumi, this daydreaming idiot of a guy, the Ace Downhiller of Takahashi Ryousuke's Project D, and, most importantly, his best friend.

"So, Takumi, if you're off again next week, how about coming up here with the Senpai and playing around for a little? I think Iketani-senpai might be due for another lesson. What do you say?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

 _Don't ask me anything, Itsuki, about Ryousuke. Please._

"Ah, well, sure. Okay. Whenever you get the chance. Kenji-senpai told us that there might be a new team forming in the area, and they're looking for a home course. If that's the case, we Speed Stars need to be ready to defend our turf as fastest on Akina. Well, after you and your dad, of course."

"Yeah."

"If it's for real, it would really help us a lot if you could give us all a few lessons before they challenge us."

"Yeah."

It was obvious that Takumi either had only half-heard, or maybe he just half-cared. "They're calling their team the Purple People Eaters," Itsuki said plainly, in an effort to test whether or not Takumi was paying attention to anything he was saying at all.

"Yeah."

That was it.

"HEY!" Takumi shouted in response to Itsuki clocking him on the head with the fist of his free hand. "What the hell was that for, Itsuki?" he said with a scowl.

"Because you're spacing out big time, Takumi! I just told you there might be a new team who might want to challenge us and you're not even listening!"

 _Shit. I really wasn't listening. What new team?_

"Sorry. I guess I'm just not very good company today."

"No kidding, genius."

Takumi chuckled slightly. "I've got a lot on my mind, so you know how well I do with that. Sorry."

There it was. Itsuki knew that this was Takumi's way of giving permission to talk, at least a little. Whenever he confessed to thinking, something really big had to have gone down. He got like this after he blew the engine on the hachi-roku, like when his dad first bought the Impreza, and he got like this whenever he was feeling like he didn't belong on Project D. Which was insane. Duh. Of course he did.

"So, uh, Takumi?"

"What," he replied softly.

"Were you really out with Takahashi Ryousuke the whole time?"

 _Shit._

"I don't really want to talk about that."

Translation: Yes.

"It's actually kind of cool, I think," Itsuki cautiously continued, trying to suppress his immediate reaction of shock, knowing he was probably already pressing his good luck, "at how friendly with the Takahashi brothers you are. It's more than kinda cool...to think you even crashed at their house! It must be huge!"

 _Shut up. I'm not telling you I slept with Ryousuke. No._

"Didn't I just say I didn't want to talk about that?"

Translation: I'm not saying anything, but I know you'll ask anyway.

"Were you up all night looking at new course videos? That's pretty cool to get a private screening of that. How big is their TV anyway?"

 _How the hell should I know something like that? I wasn't at their house more than five minutes both times I've been. I was at Ryousuke's...apartment. Not watching TV. All night. In his bed...oh God._

"I'm done. Talk about something else," Takumi grumbled, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks as he tried to keep the memory of his night and morning spent with Ryousuke from surfacing. Again. Like it had been all day, even as he tried to nap.

Translation: If it was course videos, I'd tell you. Since it wasn't course videos, I'm not saying anything.

"Well, what were you doing all that time anyway? Were you getting private lessons from Ryousuke-san at Akagi? That's so awesomely lucky! I'd give my right nu- I mean, arm to sit in the navi-seat with him driving just once in my life!"

 _You're pushing it. Didn't I tell you to talk about something else already?! It wasn't a goddamn driving lesson! Oh lord...I'm screwed._

"It was nothing. No big deal."

Translation: Something happened and I don't want to tell you because it's personal and you don't need to know.

Here was Itsuki's last chance. Sure, he'd probably get decked, but he _had_ to hear it from Takumi himself so he could go and tell the Senpai what idiots they were.

"You know, Takumi," Itsuki began tentatively, "the Senpai had this crazy idea that Takahashi Ryousuke might be, uh, interested in you. What a crock, right?"

S _hit! Oh. My. God. Was it really that obvious? To the Senpai even? Was I really that obvious too? God-damn it!_

Takumi felt his face grow hot. "What did they mean, Itsuki?" Takumi whispered, so lowly that Itsuki almost didn't hear him.

Translation: ...

'Wait,' Itsuki thought wildly, 'was that actually a direct question?!'

"Well," Itsuki stammered, "what they meant, I think, was, uh, that...what I mean to say is, that, they had this crazy idea that it was weird for Ryousuke-san to offer you a ride...from there. Out of nowhere," God, that was weak. Itsuki wasn't really known for nice saves.

 _Oh man. If the senpai think I went with him...went home with him...if Itsuki thinks I went home with him...like that, oh shit I'm totally screwed here!_

"He knew I wanted to leave, and he wanted to leave too," Takumi replied a little sternly. "There's nothing _weird_ about that. I've known him over a year after all."

Translation: It is totally weird, you're right. I went home with him, and if you ask me one more damn question, I'll deck you.

Itsuki swallowed hard. The unspoken told him that Takumi had indeed spent the entire time with Takahashi Ryousuke, and that it was personal. Which meant that the senpai were...right? 'Holy shit. He _did_ something?! With Takahashi Ryousuke, who, oh wow, _did_ something with Takumi?!' As he had the thought, Itsuki looked over at his friend who seemed to be terribly conflicted. This reminded him of the time when he used to try to press Takumi for information about Mogi, when he knew, he just _knew_ that his quiet friend had done things with her, even if he never said so. Itsuki knew that Takumi had probably done "it" with her, and the thought had always made him a little jealous. But, that was Mogi, and Mogi had been gone for a while now. This was way bigger than that, way more surprising and crazier than the fact that Takumi had been the first of the two of them to go to a hotel with a cute girl. Plus, he had Mika-chan now too. What the hell was going on with his best friend?

Itsuki didn't understand this at all; he never knew Takumi was anything other than just nervous around the elder Takahashi. Just how well did he know Takumi anyway? Itsuki suddenly found that he was afraid there were things about Takumi that he maybe should have known, maybe should have seen. But, no, Takumi always had the cute girls, and now he had fans all over the place. This made no sense, but, Itsuki immediately felt badly for all the times he and the senpai giggled at Takumi's expense whenever Takahashi Ryousuke was mentioned or was in their presence. And, what the hell was going to happen to the super-cute Mika-chan?

"Takumi," he began quietly, knowing the time for questions was over, but feeling as though he had the answer anyway, as unbelievable as it may seem. "I won't tease you about getting red in the face about Takahashi Ryousuke anymore, okay? I'm sorry. I didn't...know."

 _He knows now. Or he suspects. Crap. Now what the hell am I going to do?_

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Takumi said quietly. "I want another coffee. You can buy it for me too."

Translation: I'm neither confirming nor denying anything, but I guess you figured out that something happened. Now, get me a damn can of coffee and then drop this subject, because I'm not saying anything else.

"Sure," Itsuki said cheerfully, knowing that was all he was going to get, and that it was definitely time to change the subject. He couldn't believe it. He almost didn't want to, and it was almost harder to believe that Takahashi Ryousuke, the guy who, along with his equally if differently handsome younger brother, had the girls in the galleries screaming their throats out over him, would be.. _.that_ way. Talk about unfair. Some rich, awesome, racing _god_ who could have any girl he wanted liked...guys?

Takahashi Ryousuke was romantically interested in Itsuki's best friend. It was a complete mindfuck. Itsuki was all too happy to spend a little more yen on his friend, if only to allow himself the chance to walk away for a minute. He wished he could get one of those beers he had enjoyed the night before, because he really needed one. By the look of him, he thought Takumi might need one too.

Instead, they'd probably drink their coffee in silence, skip a few rocks, and then Itsuki would beg Takumi to drive the hachi-go on the downhill. Nothing had changed. Right? So Takumi had a one-night-stand with his mentor. A guy. _That_ guy. That's perfectly normal. Right. Sure. It's fine.

'This isn't normal at all!' Itsuki thought as the vending machine produced fresh cans of caffeinated beverages for their consumption.

* * *

Summit of Irohazaka Course, Tochigi. Saturday, 9:36 PM.

Watanabe Shun was totally pumped. He finally had managed to get the attention of Sudou Kyouichi, after almost a year of trying, and he was thrilled that he was having the chance to battle for the open slot on team Emperor.

The call had come suddenly the other day, and it seemed like things were all set up. Sudou had informed him that he was to arrive at Irohazaka by nine for a battle against an opponent of Sudou's choosing at ten.

"If you can win against this opponent, the slot is yours. If you lose, you don't get to try again. Got it?" Sudou had said. He sounded serious, and Watanabe was excited. It was finally time to prove that he was worthy of taking a place on the tough Lan Evo-only squad.

He looked down at his watch, his red Evo III already in the starting position. It looked great; he had detailed it this morning, and did about ten pre-battle checks out of nervous excitement. This was his one-shot deal, and one of the very worthwhile things he had found in Tochigi since moving from Tokyo. His job sucked, but it paid well, and he had a lot more fun with the naive country girls than the savvy ones from the city who, though young, were a little too familiar with things for his taste. He absently wondered why that adorable little thing Baby Girl from Gunma hadn't been online in the last few days, and why her profile had suddenly been deleted. It sucked. He was looking forward to hooking up with her because she sounded fun. He knew her first name was Tsugumi, she had told him so. He figured a few clicks and a few tricks and he'd find out her family name, and then, he'd hopefully resume his plan to meet up with her.

But now wasn't the time to think about that. His task at hand, this battle to get on Emperor, was all that mattered. He stood next to Sudou Kyouichi and Iwaki Seiji, the Emperor's number two driver, waiting for his opponent to arrive.

At first, Watanabe thought that he'd simply be battling one of the senior members of the squad, perhaps someone who had recently moved up to the first string. However, as the minutes ticked by, and nine o'clock came and went, he realized that his opponent was likely someone from another team, and he wondered who it could possibly be. He checked his watch again, growing impatient.

"Sudou-san, it's getting late," Watanabe remarked to the team leader.

"He'll be here," Sudou said simply, checking his own watch.

Watanabe considered Sudou's demeanor. He was half-annoyed, half-excited. A quick glance over toward Iwaki Seiji told him that his number two driver concurred. Apparently just about everyone on the team knew who was coming. The galleries were small, though, only a few random fans had shown up, and stayed only when they were told to clear the course. I guess they were the few lucky ones who had happened upon his battle. Watanabe had been a little pissed that there was no publicity, but, he supposed that it was essentially a try-out. Once he became an Emperor himself, there would be plenty of packed Saturday nights here at Irohazaka for him to enjoy.

He looked at his watch again. "Sudou-san, who is my opponent anyway? What's the harm in telling me at this point? I've done all I can to prepare the car. It's ready to go."

Sudou chuckled. "When he gets here, he won't really need an introduction."

"Huh?"

Watanabe was unsatisfied with the team leader's cryptic remark. Oh well. So what? He knew his skills were solid; he had seen Sudou watching his runs on weeknights, and it seemed like he was interested. Having this battle was proof. No matter who the opponent turned out to be, Watanabe was planning on giving Sudou an excellent show.

Just then, Sudou's cell phone rang.

"Ah. It's from the bottom," he said, checking the caller ID. "This is Sudou...ok. Good. We're ready, make sure the course is clear. Thanks."

He turned to Watanabe. "He's here. He'll be up in a few minutes."

"All right. Bring it on," Watanabe replied. Sudou chuckled again, and Watanabe suddenly had a very ominous feeling overtake him. The other team members were whispering amongst each other, and Watanabe now knew for sure that he was the only one from whom the identity of his opponent had been kept secret. It was kind of sucky, but maybe this was just how Team Emperor did things.

A few anxious moments passed by, and then Watanabe became aware of the sound of a rotary engine off in the distance. He shot a look at Sudou who had kind of a smirk on his face. "Sudou-san? A rotary?" he asked with a fair measure of disbelief. Watanabe was pissed that his opponent was some candy-ass FR driver. He drove a Lan Evo III, for crying out loud! But, this might mean that Sudou had liked his skills so much that he had made the battle easy for him to win. But, looking at the leader, Watanabe didn't think that was the case. Even Iwaki was quietly standing, saying nothing, which was very unusual for him.

"Yeah. A rotary," was all Sudou said.

"But, Sudou-san, wouldn't it be better for me to compete against another 4WD vehicle? I don't think beating some drift-punk in an FR will really show you much, will it?"

He looked at the two top drivers from Emperor as they exchanged knowing glances. "We'll see what you say when he gets to the top," Sudou said, and Watanabe was getting very irritated with his vague remarks, but he had to suck it up. He wasn't the leader of Emperor for nothing. He was a master of the Evo III after all, and Watanabe knew he could benefit from his instruction which came from Sudou's extensive experience on the circuit and from being a product of the Toudou Driving School.

"I don't get why this battle or some FR opponent had to be such a big secret, Sudou-san. Is this how these things are normally handled on Emperor?"

Sudou looked at him square in the eye. "No. It was your opponent's preference to handle things this way. I simply arranged the battle. The rest is between the two of you."

Watanabe was incredibly confused. Who on earth would have the audacity to dictate the terms of a battle to the leader of a team, Sudou Kyouichi no less, when the battle was to be held on the team's home course? And who exactly would someone like Sudou take that kind of shit from anyway? As he saw the faint glow of headlights approach the final stretch toward the summit, he realized he'd get his answer soon enough.

As the car with the rotary engine rounded the final corner and headed up toward the starting point, Watanabe could see that it was an early model RX-7, an FC3S. White. 'A white FC. Sheesh. Friggin' outdated piece of...'

Then, he knew.

Sudou looked over at his prospect, or now former prospect. He could see that Watanabe was suddenly less confident, his eyes beginning to widen. "What's wrong?" Kyouichi asked casually as Iwaki stifled a laugh by coughing, which earned him an admonishing glance from his leader.

Watanabe shot him an almost desperate look. "What the hell do you _mean_ 'what's wrong'?" he whispered as the driver of the FC did a graceful three point turn and lined his car up next to Watanabe's red Evo III. "That's Takahashi Ryousuke, isn't it?! Why the hell would you have me battle _him_?!"

"I already told you. I simply arranged it. This is between you and him, and no one else."

"But," Watanabe retorted, "isn't he retired? Why would he come all the way out here just to battle me for essentially what amounts to a team tryout?"

Kyouichi chuckled. "Who knows why that guy does anything he does? But, he has his reasons for wanting to race you."

"His...reasons?" Watanabe breathed. "I don't get it. I don't even know the guy," he lamented as he saw the slender man alight from his car and take out a cigarette. He lit it and started to approach. Watanabe swallowed hard. He could sense the powerful aura emanating from the elder Takahashi, and he instantly knew he had been set up. There was no way he could beat _him_ , Evo III or not. This was suicide for his aspirations to be on Emperor, and he had no idea what was going on.

"You look confused, Watanabe."

"Of course I am!" he continued to hotly whisper. "Sudou-san, you should know I'm nowhere near his level. How can you expect me to win?"

"I don't," Kyouichi flatly said, to Watanabe's incredible dismay. "But, don't worry about being confused. If there's one thing this guy's known for, other than his driving, it's his incredibly tedious explanations. I'm sure he'll provide you with one of them when you reach the bottom...if you even get that far."

Watanabe was pissed. He looked at the man as he came toward them. He paused once, ostensibly to check his missed calls or something on his phone, before resuming his slow walk. 'So that's the White Comet himself. He looks like an arrogant son of a bitch,' he thought. So what if it was Takahashi Ryousuke? Watanabe hadn't worked as hard as he did to be taken so lightly. Even if it was futile, he'd go into battle to win, and wouldn't it be poetic to beat the only driver who had defeated the leader of Emperor himself, not once, but twice? Besides, the guy was retired; now he was nothing more than a coach to his kid brother that had the spiky bleached-out hair and that crazy tofu boy who drove that hachi-roku from Akina. Granted, Project D or whatever he called it had become a force in street racing throughout the last half-year, but still. If you don't drive every day, you lose something, don't you? Maybe he could capitalize on the fact that the elder Takahashi might be a little rusty. 'Probably not, but I have the home course advantage, and I have the Evo. I'll make it worth it.'

"Hello, Kyouichi. How's things?" Ryousuke asked when he came upon them, nodding at both Sudou and Iwaki, who apparently had been warned to shut the hell up when Ryousuke arrived. He was unusually silent. Ryousuke reluctantly turned off his cellphone as he approached. He had hoped to get a call from Keisuke, but none came. Now, he couldn't be distracted by it.

"Pretty good, Ryousuke. There are a few fans scattered around, but I already told you that couldn't be helped if people just showed up."

"I'm not concerned," the elder Takahashi replied, looking at Watanabe for the first time. Watanabe had never heard the man speak; his voice was low and smooth, but there was a definite edge to it. Ryousuke looked him up and down deliberately, then returned his attention to Kyouichi.

"Okay, well, this man here is Watanabe Shun. The Evo III there is his," Kyouichi said by way of an introduction.

"Ah," Ryousuke said simply. It looked like Watanabe was a bit nervous, but he was obviously a little ticked off, probably at the lack of gallery fans and for the fact that he had no idea he'd be facing Takahashi Ryousuke. "I'm Takahashi Ryousuke. I'll be your opponent tonight. Downhill."

"Watanabe Shun. Nice to meet you, Takahashi-san."

Ryousuke rolled his eyes, and finished his cigarette. "Takahashi-san is my Father. But," he added, sounding somewhat perturbed, "I appreciate your politeness."

So this was the guy who wanted to have his way with Tsugumi. Ryousuke started to feel his blood boil a bit. He had visions of the man trying to force his cousin to act out all the things that were spelled out in black and white on the printouts he had brought with him, the things that had caused even Ryousuke pause when he had first read them. Who the hell did he think he was, anyway? It was definitely going to be fun playing with him, and teaching him what he hoped would be an unforgettable lesson.

"Thank you, Ryousuke-san," Watanabe feebly replied, bowing, seeing the expression of his opponent darken slightly. 'Okay. Just talking to him is making me freak a little. I need to get it together! He's nothing. He's a skinny, rich, pretty boy.'

'Great. Another suck-up,' Ryousuke thought. He glanced at Watanabe Shun's Evo. 'The car looks good though. Maybe it won't be a total bore.'

"So, Ryousuke, is there anything else you'd like to say before we start?" Kyouichi asked, noticing that Ryousuke was getting a little huffy-looking as he observed Watanabe. 'Yeah, he's in a mood. You're in for it, Watanabe.'

"Not really. I've actually had an incredibly trying afternoon, and I don't have a lot of time," Ryousuke replied, sounding slightly irritated, "so I'm more in the mood to just get down to business."

"No problem. Watanabe, are you ready to go? Ryousuke's a busy man," Kyouichi added for effect. Ryousuke definitely approved, showing Kyouichi that he did with a slight smirk in his direction. Ryousuke and Kyouichi were not really friends, but Ryousuke had a pretty good understanding of the man, and he assumed the same was true for Kyouichi with regard to him.

"I'm ready," Watanabe affirmed. "I'm not much about talk."

Ryousuke glared at the man for a full minute, as if trying to read him like the data on his ever-present laptop.

'Uh-oh,' Kyouichi thought. Obviously, Watanabe didn't know that you can't get smartass with Ryousuke. He was in seriously deep shit now. Kyouichi knew that Ryousuke was definitely wanting to talk to him, likely at the bottom where they could have words in relative privacy. Ryousuke was always chatty. Bastard.

"That's fine, for now," Ryousuke replied coldly. Apparently the suck-up game was over. Good. Watanabe had regained some of the confidence he had lost when the shock of who his opponent was to be had hit him. Ryousuke decided to take him back down a bit with some strategic rough language and icy glances. He definitely wouldn't have minded to have either Keisuke, or even Takumi, punch him a good one, but Ryousuke was doing this just as much for himself as for Tsugumi. He'd do it his way. "I'm not in the mood to really dick around up here at the start anyway."

Watanabe was taken aback slightly, nodding his assent.

'Wow,' Kyouichi thought, slightly surprised at Ryousuke's choice of words. 'He really is pissed. He doesn't usually trash talk too much, not like that. I guess that's what happens when you mess with that family. This will be interesting, that's for sure.'

The two opposing drivers seemed to be in some kind of silent argument as they studied each other, and the air between them was growing a bit thick. Kyouichi decided to interject as he saw the few people who had come to Irohazaka frantically dialing cell phones, ostensibly calling every other fan in the vicinity to come out because the White Comet had appeared at the course.

"That's a good idea. People are already buzzing, Ryousuke."

"Yeah."

"I know you wanted this low key," he offered, but he sensed that Ryousuke wanted indeed to prolong the start slightly, giving his opponent the chance to have the reality of the fact that he was going to be hunted down sink in. "In fact, I'd say you're downright casual today. No sport coat?"

Ryousuke chuckled a bit, and Kyouichi saw a sparkle of what could only be called mischief appear in his eyes. 'Nice, Kyouichi. You are definitely not an idiot.' The compliment remained silent, but Ryousuke was all too happy to carry on a little banter with Kyouichi as Watanabe stood, sweating it out in anxious limbo, waiting for them to begin. "Well, I had to leave it behind. It's not like I'd expect you to hang on to it for me while I raced. Am I right, Kyouichi?"

"I wouldn't be caught dead even carrying something like that." That was certainly true.

"What do you think, Watanabe-san?" Ryousuke asked casually to his opponent. "Should I have worn a coat?"

"Eh?" was the only thing that came out of Watanabe's startled mouth. 'What the hell do I fucking care what you wear, pretty boy?! What the hell does that have to do with anything? Let's just do it already!' he thought wildly. He realized though, that it was making him more anxious, and he tried to not buy into this weird whatever-it-was.

"Oh, it's nothing really. Never mind it. Don't think that I'm underestimating you by not dressing up for the occasion."

"Uh, sure," Watanabe eked out.

"Well, Ryousuke, I guess you can't always be a gentleman, can you? Or maybe you can?" Kyouichi observed playfully.

"Hmm...I have my moments when I'm not. Well, perhaps you can ask Watanabe-san what he thinks of me after we finish. "

The Emperor leader huffed. "I think I know already what he'll say."

"I bet you do, Kyouichi," Ryousuke said with a smirk. He glared over at Watanabe, making a point to be extra friendly to Kyouichi, and very unfriendly when he looked at his opponent. Watanabe was definitely distracted by their little playacting delay and he seemed anxious to get on with things. 'I think he's ready. He's confused enough.'

"Well, I am very busy, as Kyouichi so graciously pointed out, so let's go," he finally said flatly to his opponent. "We should let Kyouichi have his course back quickly, shouldn't we?"

"Okay," Watanabe replied, standing his ground, but he was definitely put off his focus for a few minutes. "Let's warm up the cars then."

"Fine. Kyouichi," Ryousuke said, turning to the team leader, "I believe it's customary for the guest of the course to decide racing position. Don't you agree?"

"Absolutely," Kyouichi affirmed with a slight laugh. Ryousuke was really hamming it up. He kept shooting daggers at Watanabe, and it seemed to be having an unnerving effect on the poor bastard. And he wasn't even serious. Kyouichi had seen him get serious in his own battle with him, and he definitely had a different air about him then. After he got over the unpleasant shock of losing to Ryousuke for the second time, he actually took some pride in that he had been able to make him get a little serious, serious enough to set an astonishing course record on Akagi.

Well, he was certainly demonstrating today just how good he could be at mind games. The nearly late entrance, the deliberate turn to position the FC beside the waiting Evo, the slow walk toward their group, and the distraction banter in which Kyouichi took it upon himself to assist. 'He's here to have some fun, at your expense, buddy,' Kyouichi thought, looking at an almost sulking Watanabe. 'Good luck to you, you'll need it.'

"Excellent. I will chase," Ryousuke said, placing a barely-there emphasis on the word "chase". "And I know that you won't even _think_ about offering me a handicap instead, will you, Kyouichi?"

"You've got to be dreaming if you think I'd offer that to _you_ , Ryousuke."

"Perfect," Ryousuke said lightly as he got into the FC. Watanabe was still standing beside his Evo, and Ryousuke left the door open to the FC for a moment to study him.

Kyouichi took a look at Watanabe, who actually seemed relieved for a brief moment. Apparently Ryousuke saw it too. "That _is_ acceptable to you, isn't it Watanabe-san? You seemed almost relieved there. Planning on leaving me in the dust with that thing?" he asked, his tone icy again, nodding toward the Evo.

"If I'm racing the White Comet, do I have a choice but to go all out?" he asked calmly, trying his best not to buy into the little game of intimidation Ryousuke was playing.

"Wonderful. Let's play. Kyouichi, please do the count for our game, will you?" Ryousuke said sweetly. His sudden change in tone seemed to put Watanabe into a daze. 'Perfect. He's already distracted.'

"No problem," Kyouichi said with a smirk. What a guy. He was basically about to take a leisure drive against Watanabe, and it looked like he was prepared to excise some more mental torture on the Evo driver from behind, ostensibly to crack him up. When Ryousuke had chased him, he had the sensation that he was being hunted, stalked, patiently evaluated. The FC's headlights just stayed with him in the back mirror, and Kyouichi himself almost lost his cool trying to figure out what Ryousuke was going to do. It was when Ryousuke made his move, taking advantage of a weakness Kyouichi didn't know he even had, that Ryousuke had beaten him. It was all because he had a slight aversion to turning right, fearing phantom oncoming traffic from the dead zone, a fact that Ryousuke had graciously explained to him. Nice. He knew already that once they started to drive, Ryousuke would see every one of Watanabe's many weaknesses. This would be like eating cake for the White Comet, but he wanted to do it. That guy was always about proving a point, but, this time, Kyouichi couldn't disagree with his motivation. If this dude started chatting with his kid sister, he might take a different approach, perhaps enlisting the able assistance of his number two driver, or, he laughed inwardly at the thought, the younger of the Takahashi brothers.

But Ryousuke was all about the mental game. He was nothing if not calculating, and maybe a little sadistic. Kyouichi hated to admit it, but the guy was downright scary when he got pissed, and he was sure that Ryousuke was trying very hard to be friendly to him, and still intimidate Watanabe a bit at the same time. Or maybe he wasn't. Who knew with that guy? Whatever. Kyouichi would do the count, and the race would be over probably before it even began.


	19. Chapter 19

Takahashi Residence 10:36 PM Saturday.

Keisuke took a deep breath and pulled the FD into the driveway where he stopped the car. He looked up toward the window of his brother's room. There was a slight glow from a light in the window, and a few lights were on in the lower part of the house. Keisuke had not wanted to come home, but, he was running out of places to go. He had even gone so far as to spend a couple of hours with Kenta, something that had taken his quasi-protégé by complete and delighted surprise.

But, Keisuke had finally had enough. He was going to go home, and try to talk to Ryousuke. Or maybe not; he wasn't entirely sure what he was going to do. He had Fumihiro's words on his mind, and Keisuke really did want to see his brother happy. Just not like this. Not with _him_. Maybe the silent treatment would be better for now.

He tapped the remote for the garage, and turned the car around in the wide driveway, preparing to back it into its normal place. He glanced at the rear view mirror then looked back down and put the FD into reverse. He froze and looked again. The FC was gone.

"Shit."

Keisuke backed into the garage, this time making sure there was plenty of space for the FC when Ryousuke returned, if he even did. He didn't even want to think about being close to his brother now, in whatever small way. He supposed it was silly, but, then, parking too close like he usually did always had been anyway. He wasn't in the mood to give Ryousuke much kindness, and he found that he wasn't ready to consider the idea that Fujiwara had somehow made him happy.

Fumihiro had mentioned that he thought things were different for Ryousuke this time, when compared with his other past affairs. The way he had said it made it seem like Ryousuke planned his encounters according to his busy schedule, as if making appointments, which Keisuke had found to be very Ryousuke. Practical. Efficient. Keisuke guessed that's what they were, planned meetings for one purpose only, and he understood why it was probably like that. If Ryousuke was really into that type of thing, of course he would have had to keep it secret, but Keisuke was still hurt that the elder brother felt that he had to keep it a secret from him too. Keisuke knew all too well what kinds of problems getting attached to people could create, and he figured Ryousuke might have had the same notion, choosing to keep these affairs just about the body and not about anything else. Getting attached, especially to another man, would not be tolerated, and it would be a risk to everything Ryousuke had achieved in his life, a risk to their parents' approval of him. He got that part, and, if it had been about random people he didn't know sleeping with his brother, he would have even sympathized for him for having to live like that.

So, if it was different this time, why was he so willing to put everything on the line just because he decided to sleep with Fujiwara? That, Keisuke could not understand. Why his brother suddenly felt that things were different with Fujiwara was a question Keisuke couldn't answer. Actually, it was a question he _wouldn't_ answer. Keisuke refused to believe that his cool, detached brother would suddenly get mushy over his rival. No. Ryousuke wasn't like that. It wouldn't be efficient, practical, or acceptable to fall for someone like Fujiwara. Keisuke did realize that it would, however, be _unsafe_ , at least for Ryousuke's reputation with their old man. Tsugumi _was_ safer, as incredibly bizarre as that might seem. Keisuke understood that now.

Keisuke wasn't used to seeing Ryousuke in this light, as a sexual being who would have needs from time to time. It was weird to think of him that way. He had never exactly been full of "big brotherly" advice in this area at all when they were growing up, and Keisuke often had the notion that he was the more experienced of the two when they were younger. Maybe that was true, and maybe it wasn't. Keisuke had no idea anymore.

He cut the engine to the FD and just sat, staring at the empty space next to it where the FC should be. Was he out with Fujiwara? Again? The thought was unpleasant, and threatened to negate any understanding of his brother that he might have offered. It was just so unfair that Ryousuke would play favorites like that, and it pissed him off. No wonder he was always so nice to Fujiwara, while he could sometimes be a complete asshole to his own brother.

He didn't really care how Ryousuke chose to get off. If he had continued to occasionally meet up with someone for sex, Keisuke couldn't fault him. There were plenty of times when Keisuke thought Ryousuke was so uptight that he really _needed_ to go out and get a good lay. But Keisuke couldn't understand why he had decided to make Fujiwara that "someone". Both Fumihiro and Ryousuke himself had tried to tell him this wasn't just about the sex and Keisuke just couldn't wrap his head around that. What the hell was so different about it now? Wasn't Fujiwara no more than one of Ryousuke's "people he knew" as Fumihiro had put it? Keisuke didn't even want to think about where Ryousuke might be, or what he might be doing. Even if he didn't want to talk to him, Keisuke wanted him home in his room, working. Where he belonged. He didn't want him to be...out. It was selfish, but Keisuke didn't care.

His mind started to create those awful mental images of his brother and his rival together intimately again. Keisuke was definitely not ready to take a step back to examine why the fact that Ryousuke was with Fujiwara made him so angry and jealous. The only thing he knew was that if Ryousuke favored Fujiwara, Keisuke would feel like he would never be able to beat him. He'd always wonder that if he did beat him, if his brother wouldn't be happy with that outcome. Even if Keisuke were to be the one who handed him the proof of his theory of Fastest Speed on Public Roads, all wrapped up like a Christmas present, he'd wonder if Ryousuke would accept it since it came from him and not from the object of his recent affections. It killed him to think that, and despite his better judgment, the resentment toward Fujiwara began to build again. To think that Fujiwara would get so close to Ryousuke. Close to _his_ Aniki. How dare he? It made it even worse because they themselves were friends. At least, Keisuke had thought so. Apparently, Fujiwara didn't give a shit about him either.

To think that Ryousuke would get so close to _him_..."Damn it!"

There was no phone call, no text. Nothing. Ryousuke was just gone, and Keisuke decided he wanted him to be "not gone" right now. He wanted him to ditch Fujiwara and immediately bring the FC back to the garage. He wanted Ryousuke to rewind time and erase everything. He wanted Ryousuke to open his door to him, allow him to mess up his perfectly made bed, and gripe about empty water bottles being thrown into his pristine trash can. He wanted him to stop smoking again. He wanted Ryousuke to give him more barely-strong-enough Aspirin for his headache. He wanted the brother he knew, the always in control First Class Prick. He just didn't want this brother who had kept things secret. He didn't want this brother who was now fucking Fujiwara. Keisuke knew it was selfish.

Whatever faintly extant desire he had to see his brother happy faded instantly away, and Keisuke felt himself become angry all over again. He got out of the car and headed quickly for the door. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed Ryousuke's number as he entered the house, balancing his shoes in his other hand as he made a beeline for the backyard so he could have a cigarette.

"This is Takahashi Ryousuke. I'm unavailable, so please leave a detailed message, and I will return your call. Thank you. " Beep.

"Shit!" Keisuke shouted again, ending the call and half-wanting to hurl the phone out into the yard somewhere. Ryousuke's phone was off. Again. Which meant...

"That's it. I'm calling him, and he better answer."

He dialed Fujiwara's cell phone.

* * *

Akina Lake Parking Lot. 10:46 PM Saturday.

As expected, Itsuki and Takumi had sipped their coffees in relative silence, interrupted only by passing attempts at conversations about nothing in particular. It was as if both of them knew that talking about whatever had happened the night before was now suddenly a taboo subject, perhaps as taboo as was talking about Mako-chan with Iketani-senpai. Itsuki knew he would need time to deal with this, and he figured Takumi would be even more freaked out. Itsuki vowed to let it go for now, hoping that Takumi might try to talk again sometime. In any case, there was no way that Itsuki was going to breathe a word of this to the senpai. No way. It was probably a one-night-stand, and their older friends certainly need not be aware of it.

"I have to do the tofu run tomorrow, Itsuki," Takumi quietly said after a while spent kicking the sand with his sneakers.

"Okay. You want to take off?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"All right. You want to drive?"

"Not really."

"Okay."

Itsuki dug in his pocket for his keys and reached out to collect Takumi's empty can so he could put it in the can bin. Takumi gave him the can and followed slightly behind, still deep in thought. The silence was cut by the ringing of Takumi's phone. Itsuki turned around as Takumi reached into his pocket for the phone. When he looked at it, Itsuki saw the color drain from his friend's face. Was it Mika-chan?

Takumi saw the familiar number. It was Keisuke.

 _Shit! I don't want to answer this. Wait. No. I don't want him to think I'm running away. Why now?! What the hell am I going to say to him? God-damn it all. Wasn't Ryousuke supposed to "handle" this?!_

Reluctantly he answered. "Hello."

"Where is he?!" came the hot response from the other end.

"I don't know, Keisuke-san," Takumi replied, deciding instantly that playing dumb and denying anything was not a good idea. Itsuki couldn't believe he had just heard that it was Takahashi Keisuke on the other end.

Itsuki's eyes went wide. 'Oh wow. Takahashi Keisuke is calling now? What the hell is going on here? Did the brother know about this too?' He saw Takumi turn away, and Itsuki took the hint. This was obviously not going to be a pleasant conversation, and it was a private one. He went back to the hachi-go and got inside, and waited and watched Takumi from the car. Itsuki was suddenly worried. If Takahashi Keisuke was upset, that wouldn't be very good at all. He'd heard from Takumi about how tough he was, and he had heard from Kenji-senpai that Keisuke used to be one bad dude back in the day. If Takumi was in trouble with Keisuke over what happened last night, not only wasn't it a good thing, but it also meant that Itsuki knew for sure now that Takumi had indeed been with Ryousuke in a way Itsuki never dreamed was possible.

"Don't bullshit me. I want to talk to him, so put him on, Fujiwara," Keisuke spat.

"I told you, Keisuke-san. He's not here. I'm not...with him," Takumi said, feeling a bit irked that Keisuke insinuated that he was lying. He could hear the anger in Keisuke's voice, and he could tell even over the phone that it was likely going to get worse.

 _Should I just hang up? No. I'm not doing that. I can handle it. I can._

"Then where the hell is he?! His phone is off. Where did he go?"

"I have no idea..."

"Don't fucking lie to me, Fujiwara!"

 _Oh no you didn't just call me a liar! I have no idea what I am right now, but I'm not a damn liar!_

"I'm not lying!" Takumi actually shouted. "If you want to call me a liar, say it to my face and not on a damn phone call!"

"Trust me, Fujiwara, you do _not_ want to offer me that chance right now," Keisuke hissed.

"Bring it," Fujiwara said plainly. "I don't care."

A _m I fucking crazy?! Did I just invite Keisuke-san to beat the crap out of me? What the hell am I thinking? Oh. Wait. I'm not!_

"Heh. So that's how it is. Fortunately for you, I don't feel like getting arrested tonight and going to jail for killing you. But it doesn't change anything. I want you to tell me where Ryousuke went, and I want you to fucking tell me _now_!"

Takumi tried to wrack his brain, he tried to remember if Ryousuke had said anything about what his plans were. He thought he remembered him saying he did have plans, but he was sure he didn't say what they were. "He didn't tell me anything like that," he coldly answered. It was the truth.

He heard Keisuke chuckle a bit, but it wasn't a pleasant sound. "So he didn't tell you he had plans while you had your little _pillow talk_ with him last night?" he seethed.

"Uh..."

 _Oh crap..._

"Yeah, Fujiwara. I know all about it. I guess there wasn't much _talk_ after all, was there?"

"Keisuke-san, I-"

" _No._ You shut up and listen. I don't know who the hell you think you are. But, for whatever weird reason, Ryousuke decided to fuck you. I don't know how it happened, but I know this. However it happened, I'm sure it was _your fucking fault!"_

 _He's pissing me off! It's not my fault! Ryousuke said it wasn't wrong!_

"No, it's not! I didn't do anything all by myself! What business is it of yours what your brother does or what I do?! It has nothing to do with you, Keisuke-san!" Takumi shouted into the phone.

"What the hell are you smoking, Fujiwara?! Of course it has something to do with me! You're _supposed_ to be my friend! He's my _brother!_ " Keisuke exclaimed.

"You don't _own_ him!" Takumi shot back. "Get off my case!"

A few seconds of uneasy silence came through the handset. "You know what, Fujiwara, I get it, ok?" Keisuke was no longer shouting, but his tone was cold and harsh. "It's not hard to be in awe of Ryousuke. I get that much. You think I wasn't _irritated_ at how much time and attention he gave to you during D, seeing you hanging on his every fucking word and _impressing_ him with your badass skills week after week?"

Takumi said nothing.

"I'm going to tell you a little something about my brother, Fujiwara, as your _friend,_ so listen good. I may feel like shit because I just found out I didn't know him as well as I thought I did. Fine. I don't give a fuck if he's a switch hitter. But if there's one thing I know about my brother it's this: he will _always_ do as he's told. Do you understand what I'm saying? _"_

 _Huh?_

"No..."

"There's only one person in this world who will make my brother fold like a cheap suit. That person is our old man, and Ryousuke has spent his whole damn life pleasing that bastard. You really think he's going to stop now? Just because he wanted to take a tumble in the sack with _you_?!"

Takumi was silent again.

"Our old man is a fucking dictator. He doesn't give a shit about what I do, but he expects _perfection_ from Ryousuke. Always has, and he always _will_!" Keisuke hotly asserted.

 _Okay. I get some things now...I think. Oh crap...what the hell have I done?_

"I'm going to make it _crystal_ clear for you," Keisuke continued, hearing no sound on the other end. "I found out my brother has had affairs before. Who knows how many he's had, I have no idea. But the fact that it's been a big secret tells you something, doesn't it?!"

 _Oh no...don't say it...please..._

"What?" Takumi tentatively asked.

"It should tell you that none of those flings will mean _shit_ to him in the long run. What's important to Ryousuke is doing exactly what he's been raised to do. He's supposed to graduate, work at our old man's hospital, get _married_ and take over the whole damn thing! You really think there's room in that plan for him to be having anything more than a one night stand with someone like _you_?"

 _No...that's not what it was like...was it? He said he didn't want it to be just once...he said that...oh God. It didn't feel like that...I felt like he was…caring about me. But then…later...is this really my fault after all?_

Takumi could feel the tears begin to sting his eyes. He couldn't respond to that, the phone getting slick with sweat against the side of his face. Was he really only one of Ryousuke's...flings? He didn't want that. He didn't. He hated to admit it, but he didn't want it to be that way.

 _Ryousuke...where are you?!_

"So, Fujiwara," Keisuke continued to rant, "I'm going to do you a god-damn service here. If you want to let him _fuck_ you, you're right, that's your business. But don't go around thinking that you'll mean any more to him than anyone else he's _fucked_!"

"I..." Fujiwara began, but he was immediately interrupted.

"Don't say anything to me right now. If you don't know where Ryousuke is, fine. He'll come home eventually. He _always_ comes back here. Remember that."

"Keisuke-san..."

He heard Keisuke chuckle again, and, again it was unpleasant. "I'll tell you one thing, though Fujiwara. You're actually pretty damn lucky."

 _What the hell is he talking about?_

"Lucky...?" Fujiwara whispered.

"That's right," Keisuke spat, "I don't think a lot of people can say that they've been Takahashi Ryousuke's _whore_!"

The line went dead and Takumi couldn't even bring the phone down from his ear to close it. The tears were flowing freely, if silently, down his cheeks. The word stung. Horribly. He hoped to God Itsuki couldn't see that he was actually crying like some girl who just got dumped by her boyfriend.


	20. Chapter 20

Lake Akina Parking Lot. 10:56 PM. Saturday

Takumi blinked a few times and swatted his face with his left hand. He felt suddenly transported back in time. This feeling, this anger, this hurt; it was a pain he had felt once before. It was a feeling of betrayal and loss of something he thought was important, pleasing; something that could have become wonderful if it had not been cut off by the shock of truth.

 _Is that what it's all about, Ryousuke? Is that really what it was all about? I don't want to believe it, but, what if it's really true?_

The night he saw Mogi leaving the hotel with the old man in the Benz was the night it all fell apart. He had gone, not believing the cryptic messages left by a person unknown to him until much later. That final phone call came from a crying young girl on the other end, and something about it, something that rang true with sincerity, made him take the chance to put an end to the messages and their craziness. He would prove the girl wrong with his own eyes. There was no way he'd find Mogi there. There was no way she was sleeping with some guy for money. There was no way she was some kind of... _whore_.

But she was. And Takumi saw enough to know that it was true.

He blew the engine that night against Sudou Kyouichi on Akagi, while the brothers Takahashi looked on, and he regretted it, but apparently not enough. He took a deep breath. He brought the phone down. As he pocketed it, he heard Itsuki open the car door.

"Takumi?" Itsuki called softly.

"I'm coming."

Itsuki watched as his friend approached the car. He looked like he had been crying; his eyes were red and his cheeks looked damp. 'What the hell just happened?' Itsuki wondered.

"Takumi, are you all right? You look like you've just seen a ghost."

"Yeah. I want to go home now," Takumi whispered.

"Okay. You sure you don't want to drive? We'll get back a lot faster that way," Itsuki offered.

 _Of course I want to drive! Give me the damn keys!_

"I'll drive," Takumi said evenly.

Itsuki tossed him the keys and Takumi slid into the driver's seat of the hachi-go. He started the car and had it in reverse before Itsuki had even sat down.

"Whoa there, Takumi...at least let me get my seatbelt on," Itsuki remarked with a nervous chuckle. He looked over at his friend, seeing something in his eyes he had seen a few times before. He was pissed off about something, or maybe he was angry at himself. This was going to be a rough ride.

Takumi spun the car and put it in gear. He floored it to the end of the parking lot.

 _What the hell are you doing?! Didn't you say you wouldn't react like this again? This isn't even your car! You need to stop! NOW!_

He stopped abruptly, sending their bodies into a lurch.

"Takumi! What the-"

"I can't drive like this. You drive," Takumi said flatly.

"O-okay," Itsuki cautiously agreed, somewhat relieved. Something was definitely very wrong here. "Takumi, you can tell me what happened you know..."

 _You wouldn't understand...you'd just freak._

"No, I can't."

Translation: Leave me alone.

"Okay," Itsuki said, watching Takumi as he got out of the car, leaving it idling with the e-brake pulled. Itsuki followed, hurriedly getting out himself. When they crossed at the front of the hachi-go, Itsuki could see that his friend was on the verge of breaking down. But, Takumi's unspoken command was clear. This was not the time.

"Sorry, Itsuki," Takumi said quietly as they both put on their seatbelts. "I didn't mean that. Forgive me." Surprisingly, another slight permission was granted, and Itsuki took the chance.

"It's all right, Takumi. Even on your worst day, you're still my best friend you know," Itsuki offered, hoping that his friend would get the true meaning of his statement.

"Okay."

"Is this...turning into a bad day?" Itsuki cautiously queried.

"Yeah."

"Okay. Let's go home."

Takumi said nothing as Itsuki put the car into gear. For some reason, Itsuki didn't feel like attacking the downhill, taking advantage of having the Ace in the navi-seat. He drove smoothly, taking care not to slide out on the corners, to gently hug the five hairpin curves; it was the closest thing he could get to literally holding his friend's hand. When you had a car, you were free to express things that normally you couldn't. Itsuki had always loved that about his car, piece of shit though it may be. This car had seen his joys, his sorrows, his true heart. He wondered if Takumi's hachi-roku had been a friend like that to him too, and he supposed that Takumi felt he couldn't share his obvious pain with a car not his own. Or maybe he knew better than to share it at all until he settled down, knowing what happened the last time he got angry and drove.

As Itsuki drove toward the Green Shopping District, he ventured one last attempt to get Takumi to talk. "I'm sure that Keisuke-san didn't mean whatever he said to you."

Takumi shot him a glare. Perhaps, trying that last time was a mistake. Itsuki focused on the road, but he cast a sideways glance to Takumi. Thankfully his friend's expression softened a bit.

"Why would you think something like that?" Takumi asked plainly.

Itsuki was shocked for a split second that his statement actually elicited a response. But, he recovered quickly, wanting to take the chance to reassure Takumi for a minute. "Well, I remember you telling me once, right after Ryousuke-san came to invite you for D, that the two of them had a clear objective. And you were impressed with that, thinking you wouldn't be any help to people like that. But, look at you. You've helped them win all this time! Why would Keisuke-san suddenly start picking fights with you now that it's all over and you guys were undefeated?"

"Why not?" Takumi answered with a deep breath. "It wouldn't be a risk to get pissed at me at all. He didn't need me to be there to test how good he is, not even on the downhill really after a while. It's probably good that we are done because I'm not sure I'm a better downhiller than him anymore. I've been thinking that for some time," Takumi quietly answered.

"What? No way. Ryousuke-san chose _you_ for the downhill, right? You may not see it, but, on the downhill, _he_ saw that you have something that Keisuke-san doesn't have, even now. If Ryousuke-san thought his otouto was better than you on the downhill, he wouldn't have kept on giving you such amazing challenges month after month."

"I don't really know what Ryousuke sees in me right now."

Itsuki recoiled a bit. He had never heard Takumi refer to Ryousuke in the familiar. Somehow, the elimination of the honorific didn't seem like an accident. Takumi was not talking about driving, or his rivalry with Keisuke, at least not a rivalry that had anything to do with their positions as the Double Aces. Itsuki wasn't sure he totally understood, but he knew his friend well enough to know that he was talking about something way more personal than that, and separate from it.

"If it's a personal thing," Itsuki dared to suggest, "you should just call Ryousuke-san."

"No!" Takumi shot back.

"Why?"

"Because I can't go running to him for every little thing anymore."

"You don't do that, Takumi. That's crazy!"

"Come on, Itsuki. I definitely do that. Who am I always saying is the person I need advice from? Who do I think about when I am trying to decide the best way to win? It's always been him, ever since I joined D, and maybe even before that. We're done now, so I can't keep doing that forever! I don't even have my car anymore, so I'm not even the Akina 86 anymore, so why would he care about me anymore?" he asserted hotly.

 _I need him. And he definitely doesn't need me, I guess. Not the way I want him to...Idiot! How could I let this happen?!_

"But you learned a _ton_ of stuff from Project D. You still need to trust him. That's what you're supposed to do! You're supposed to listen to _him,_ not Keisuke-san _,_ and it wouldn't matter what car you were driving, Ryousuke-san would still be there for you! And, you'll _always_ be the Akina 86, just like how, to some people, Takahshi Ryousuke will always be the White Comet of Akagi!"

Takumi was silent, and Itsuki was now well aware that this discussion had nothing really to do at all with racing. It was true. Takumi had some kind of crush, a crush that had resulted in something shared with his mentor that Ryousuke's little brother obviously, for whatever reason, didn't like.

"You know, Takumi," Itsuki whispered, "I don't really care if you...like him."

"Pull over," Takumi commanded, feeling the heat come to his cheeks.

"No. You need to hear me on this. Tell me I'm full of it if you want, but you will hear it, you idiot."

"I _said_ pull over, or I really will beat the shit out of you."

"Go ahead," Itsuki challenged seriously.

Takumi stared at his friend as he continued to calmly drive toward the final block before the Fujiwara Tofu Shop. He knew his cheeks were flushed, and even Takumi himself didn't know if was out of embarrassment or shame. At least Itsuki wasn't staring back at him. At least he was only looking at the road.

 _He knows. Oh, dear God, he really does know. Please forget you know this..._

"Takumi," Itsuki continued, satisfied that his passenger wouldn't beat him up just yet, "you're not the type of guy who takes shit from anyone. All last summer, racers talked trash and gave you shit about the hachi-roku, and you didn't care. And you beat them all, including Keisuke-san. So don't start taking his shit now!"

 _Itsuki you have no idea what you are talking about here. Can it._

"If what Keisuke-san told me is the truth, there's no reason to discuss it anymore. With anyone. _Anyone_ , Itsuki."

Translation: I know you know, and if you tell the senpai, or anyone else, you're dead.

"I won't say anything, Takumi, all right? But you should still call Ryousuke-san. Maybe he doesn't know Keisuke-san called you."

 _I can't do that. How could I face him? Or even call? And there's no way I can see him anymore like that. I can't. Keisuke-san should know Ryousuke better than anyone. If Keisuke-san said I was..._

Takumi was silent, and they had reached the front of the tofu shop. Itsuki stopped the car.

"What did Keisuke-san say anyway, Takumi?"

"It was nothing. Never mind it."

Takumi got out of the car and all Itsuki could do was watch his friend disappear into the shop. He waited a few moments until he saw the light go on in Takumi's upstairs bedroom; he wished there was something he could do, but this kind of situation was completely unbelievable to him.

He put the hachi-go in gear and drove off for home, swearing to himself not to breathe a word of this to the Senpai.

* * *

Irohazaka Course, Tochigi. 10 o 'clock hour.

[A/N: The three bridges at Irohazaka are mentioned several times in the manga, but one translation I read describes the first bridge as a "tunnel". A photo of the actual bridge shows that it is a bridge with another road appearing to go over it. So, I'm referring to the first bridge as a tunnel for the purposes of this story, and I beg forgiveness for inconsistencies.]

"Here comes the count!" Kyouichi roared.

Both drivers revved their engines. Ryousuke had one eye on Kyouichi's hand and his battle focus trained on the rear wing of the red Evo III of Watanabe Shun. Chasing him was going to be a wonderful little game.

"5!"

Ryousuke was ready. Tonight's battle didn't really involve any particular strategy.

"4!"

This was to prove a point.

"3!"

There was no way Watanabe Shun was going to contact Tsugumi.

"2!"

Ryousuke was simply going to hunt him down until he got bored.

"1!"

Then, they'd have a nice little chat about things.

"GO!"

With that, the Evo III screeched to a quick start and Ryousuke stayed a bit behind. He was going to observe for a while, take immediate note of all the weaknesses in Watanabe's technique, and punish him for every single one of them until it got old.

'I know you have good traction, asshole,' Ryousuke thought to himself as the 4WD vehicle made a decent showing of the grip run around the first two corners.

He allowed Watanabe to demonstrate his grasp of the stability of a 4WD vehicle on the exit of a corner. 'But are you really following the best line for your home course? We shall see.' Despite Watanabe's good exit speed, Ryousuke had easily caught up at the entry of both, enough so that he could easily pass, but he deliberately held back. An opponent's own false sense of security was always an excellent advantage in any battle. He'd let Watanabe revel a little in his "victory" on the first two corners.

When they approached the mid speed s-curve section, one weakness became obvious. 'You brake pretty early. No wonder you need to quickly exit. Lucky for you, you have a car that can cover this mistake pretty easily. Moron. However...Lesson one: late-braking.'

Ryousuke edged the FC closer to the Evo, waiting for the brake lights. When they lit up, Ryousuke sped closer, closer, merely centimeters from the Evo III's bumper.

"What the _hell?! Haven't you ever driven here before!?_ In an FR you'll swing out and hit the ditch going in that fast!" Watanabe shouted, "Are you gonna rear end me?!"

Ryousuke eased up suddenly, and the Evo sped ahead out of the corner.

'Shit! He was gonna hit me! If he didn't...wait...why did he...? Never mind. I'm just going to floor it. That FC won't keep up!"

Ryousuke followed with the same trick, and the Evo braked even earlier. 'No confidence in your ABS, Watanabe?' Ryousuke calmly thought. This was not a braking battle for sure. 'Lesson two: drifting is not just for show.'

The next high speed corner should do it. When the Evo braked early again, Ryousuke took the outside line, effectively perpendicular to the broadside of the Evo III, lighting up its cabin with his headlights.

"My God!" Watanabe breathed. The glaring headlights in his periphery were dangerously distracting him from the course. "There shouldn't be enough space! He should be grazing the friggin' guardrail with that flashy shitty ass drift!"

'You are probably wondering why I'm not sparking the rail with the back end of the car. You've left me plenty of room since you hug the inside line every single fucking time! Do you even realize how _basic_ that is?!' Ryousuke thought, getting pissed that this was turning into a joke after all. 'That car deserves better than you. Kyouichi sees something in you, but I haven't seen it yet. Show me, or else I'll have to lecture Kyouichi too for even thinking of putting your ass on his team!'

The elegant drift of the FC positioned Ryousuke for priority for the best line on the next corner. He easily passed the Evo, then allowed the Evo to pass him on the short straight which immediately followed it.

"Shit! He...passed...on the corner? With a fucking drift? How? Oh well. Whatever! I'm ahead on the straight."

'I let you get ahead idiot. I said I was going to chase, now make me _chase_ you!'

It was obvious because of the relative quiet that Watanabe had not copied Kyouichi to the extent of putting the misfiring system in his Evo III, so, despite the fact that the cars were the same model, Kyouichi's vehicle was a far superior machine. The misfiring system was a powerful, if inelegant, weapon on the downhill of a mountain road, and Ryousuke could still hear the irritating _"Bang! Bang!"_ of it in his ears whenever he thought about Kyouichi. It was a professional grade modification, effectively making his black Evo III a professional level rally car. That, combined with Kyouichi's skill, had made the Emperor leader a difficult opponent. He was a driver that always took the safest, surest way to victory, not wasting anything. He had said that Watanabe was not a wasteful driver either, and that's why Kyouichi had been scouting him. However, Ryousuke hadn't been shown anything even close to that level. The Irohazaka course was not terribly long, and Ryousuke wondered in what section, other than the straightaway, would Watanabe demonstrate a winning skill.

As he watched, toying with the back end of the Evo, breaking down Watanabe's course rhythm easily, he had a thought that made sense. Perhaps, because Ryousuke had the privilege to have seen so many good opponents during the year with D, average drivers seemed suddenly poor, good drivers seemed average, and skillful drivers seemed typical. As he continued to "chase" Watanabe, he thought of Keisuke and Fujiwara, and how their skills were so far beyond what a reasonable person would think achievable in only a springtime of training and a summer of battles. He came to the conclusion that his Aces had him wonderfully jaded when it came to evaluating the skills of most other drivers. Ryousuke was so accustomed to seeing extraordinary drivers, both with his Aces and many of their opponents alike, that a fair-to-decent Evo III driver was truly a bore.

If he took Watanabe at face value, he supposed that he really wasn't bad. He had a good grasp of the handling; he was stable. And, certainly, not everyone was a master of late-braking like Fujiwara. Even Kenta had issues trying to copy it, and he thought that Keisuke was doing a good job with his little student. Kenta was not a shitty driver; Watanabe really wasn't either. Ryousuke had just become so accustomed to the genii that were his hand-picked Aces, the guys who were now ready to start living the Dream. A recreational racer like Watanabe simply couldn't compare to that, and very few drivers could. In fact, Ryousuke was actually relieved that he wasn't having to search for any more opponents for the Aces. There were hardly any opponents out there who were strong enough to teach his brother and Fujiwara a lesson or two anymore. They had gotten just too _good_. In that regard, his clinical evaluations and exams were actually a blessing in disguise. It would buy him a little more time to get the hachi-roku repaired and plan that one final trip for the Aces to offically introduce them as about-to-be-professional racers.

So what did Kyouichi see in this guy, exactly?

Ryousuke's analytical streak took precedent over his real motivation for the battle, and he systematically dissected the technique before him. Then, he knew where Watanabe would try to pull ahead; the place in which there seemed to be no physical way for a chaser to pass.

'Once I get past the mid-speed section, there's a slight up-hill section that goes right into a corner, and it's immediately followed by the downhill before the first bridge, a tunnel" Watanabe thought. 'Then a second bridge, and goal is beyond the third bridge. I'll gain on him on the uphill, then use the stability of my Evo III to occupy the center as the road narrows. It's nothing but straightaway through the tunnel, and there's no way to pass!'

However, his thoughts were perhaps false confidence. He couldn't ignore the sick feeling in his stomach that was growing with every corner when Ryousuke would get on his tail on the entry, and simply follow as he exited. And then, there was that insane drift stunt. 'Why?' He wondered what that Ryousuke was doing, just hanging there, coming up close enough to his bumper so that Watanabe could hear the whine of that sickening rotary in his ears, then he'd retreat suddenly, as if he was waiting. Watching. Calculating. Is this what Kyouichi experienced when he battled this guy? "Make your move, Takahashi! Don't just hang there in my back mirror, damn it!"

'If you think I can't pass you at the tunnel, you are mistaken. Lesson Three: The line that takes the most guts to use is usually the one that wins.'

Ryousuke had seen enough. Watanabe was clearly planning a straightaway showdown between his Evo III and the FC. It was a sound strategy, an efficient one, taking into account the abilities of his car. This must be what Kyouichi responded to; Watanabe drove the course patiently, despite the fact that his rhythm had been compromised the whole time. He was waiting for the final section, intending to pull away right before the goal which lay beyond the third bridge.

The final corners before first bridge came and went and Watanabe was flooring it.

"Yes!" Watanabe happily shouted. "That old FC has seen its day, Takahashi! Oh my God! Am I actually going to beat him? Am I really going to beat Takahashi Ryousuke? The only guy Kyouichi couldn't beat? I don't know why this is happening, I shouldn't be winning, but I'll fucking take it!"

He rocketed the Evo III toward the tunnel, and the ominous feeling that had washed over him as he saw the FC pull up to the starting position suddenly came over him again. He peeked into the rearview mirror. 'He's going to do something? What can he do...here?!'

As Watanabe prepared to position the Evo to take up as much of the road as possible, Ryousuke stepped on the gas with a hard shift-up. 'Twenty...ten...there!'

Ryousuke swung to the outside and released the throttle of the FC, bringing it to the side of the Evo. Another few meters, and the road would narrow right before the entrance of the tunnel.

"No...way!" Watanabe screamed, as he tried to avoid getting side swiped by the white Mazda, his side mirror sparking as it grated against the concrete wall then popped off with a rattling sound as it bounced off the wall and the rear panel of the car. "There's no fucking room! Idiot!"

Ryousuke felt the Evo ease up on the gas and he shot ahead at full speed. He looked in his mirrors and, with a fluid motion, downshifted and pulled the e-brake, turning the FC into a 180 degree spin, his headlights in the windshield of the rapidly oncoming red Evo.

"What the?!" Watanabe slammed on his brakes, hurriedly shifting down as he felt the Evo's superior traction aid him in the stop. There was almost no room to swerve. He was either going to have to hit the wall, or crash into Takahashi Ryousuke head on, and the White Comet wasn't moving to get out of the way.

"SHIT!"

Watanabe pulled the e-brake and the sound of his screeching tires reverberated through the concrete tunnel. Miraculously he stopped, the front end of the Evo kissing the front end of the FC with a paint scratching rub.

The sweat felt cold on his brow, the acrid stench of burned rubber crept in all around him through the vents of the car. He was trembling. 'What the hell just happened here?!'

Ryousuke felt the slight push of the Evo as it brushed the FC. He was thankful he had given Watanabe the right amount of hard braking distance, the data having been recalled from several articles he had read on the specs of a stock Evo III when Mitsubishi had first unveiled the model. He had also observed Watanabe enough from behind to establish what his pattern would be. Watanabe's skill was _just_ enough. Ryousuke exhaled a bit and took the pages he had printed out of the glove box. He opened the car door and stood by the FC; one look inside the Evo told him the guy was freaking out. Good.

Watanabe saw the door to the FC open and Takahashi Ryousuke got out, looking completely nonplussed despite the fact that he was almost involved in a head-on collision. 'He's crazy. He's fucking crazy!'

He opened the car door and pulled himself together, his rage at being nearly killed and having his Evo damaged aiding him . He felt like he was being mocked, and that was almost worse than being killed. He knew he wasn't at Ryousuke's level, and the whole situation royally pissed him off. What did he ever do to Sudou to deserve being set up in the first place? Watanabe wanted answers; he knew getting a position on Emperor was now a pipe dream. He had nothing else to lose, and there was no way he was going to let some asshole scare him like that without getting some shit thrown right back at him.

"What the hell are you trying to prove, Takahashi?! What do you call that shit?!"

"I call it an invitation to move back to Tokyo, one that I insist that you accept," came the placid reply.

"What?"

Ryousuke narrowed his eyes, the driving forgotten, and his mood growing foul as he brought the real reason for his presence at Irohazaka to the fore of his mind once again. "I'm telling you that it would be in your best interest for you to leave here and go back to wherever you came from."

"Or what? You going to wreck both of our cars in another suicide stunt? If I hadn't eased up when you passed-"

"You're an idiot if you think my being here was about the battle," Ryousuke interrupted coldly.

Watanabe studied the elder Takahashi, a person whom he knew Sudou respected, even if he didn't like him. What the hell was so great about him? He was nothing but a punk who was pulling tricks the whole way down the course!

Hearing no response from Watanabe, Ryousuke approached him, the printouts in hand. "In case it wasn't clear, you lost just now. The goal may be beyond the third bridge, but, once I pulled ahead, you were done."

"So you fucking spin and dare me to hit you? You're nuts!"

Ryousuke chuckled. "Maybe. Do you want to go again and find out for sure?"

Watanabe gave him a wide-eyed look. 'What an asshole!' he thought wildly, knowing he couldn't get back behind the wheel for another go. It would be pathetic; his heart was still pumping, his blood pressure still elevated. He might actually piss himself if Ryousuke had anything else up his sleeve worse than the shit he just pulled.

"Accept the loss, and, once we're finished talking, you can go," Ryousuke quietly ordered.

"I have nothing to say to you. This was not a battle. Sudou-san won't recognize it since you played it so dirty!"

"Kyouichi will take my word that it was your loss over your word that it wasn't, I think."

"Why? He hates your skinny ass!" Watanabe was still too shaken to care how disrespectful he was being toward the racing icon. As far as he could tell, Takahashi Ryousuke was simply a bully with a car. Watanabe didn't even realize how Ryousuke had managed the exact timing for what he did, and it annoyed him to no end that the elder Takahashi's level might be one which he couldn't begin to understand.

"Hmm. I think 'hate' is too strong a word. I think my relationship with Kyouichi can best be described as one of reluctant mutual respect peppered with moments of extreme mutual annoyance."

"Whatever," Watanabe spat, irritated by the smug, superior attitude he was getting. What the hell kind of street racer talks like that? "I'm out of here, so get that white piece of shit out of the damn way!"

"Not before I show you something else."

Ryousuke handed his opponent the printouts of the chat logs from his and Tsugumi's online adult play. As Watanabe began to look them over, Ryousuke saw the color drain from Watanabe's face. He was stunned silent.

"This," Ryousuke seethed, crowding Watanabe's personal space, "is what tonight was about."

"Are you some kind of hacker? How...did you get this?!" Watanabe asked, a hint of nervousness now appearing in his formerly defiant tone.

Ignoring the question, Ryousuke replied, "Forgive me, Watanabe. But you certainly don't pass for an eighteen year old high school senior. And I don't appreciate your online activities with this particular person."

"How did you get this?! " Watanabe repeated vehemently.

"'Baby Girl' showed it to me," Ryousuke whispered.

"Eh?" Watanabe was totally confused. How could Takahashi Ryousuke know about this? Why would he care?

"I want you to tell me everything you already know about this Baby Girl you are planning to meet. If you omit anything, I _will_ find out. The fact that I have these should prove to you that I can do that. Understood?" Ryousuke demanded hotly.

"What the hell business is it of yours? There's no fucking harm in flirting with a girl online."

Ryousuke scowled. "You were planning to meet her. I want to know how far you have gone to find out her identity. I don't like beating things out of people; that's my brother's forte. However, I'm not unwilling to give it a shot if you don't cooperate."

"I don't need to tell you shit!" he exclaimed and turned toward his awaiting driver's seat.

"Baby Girl is my _cousin_ , Watanabe. My fifteen year old cousin," Ryousuke called after him.

Watanabe stopped in his tracks. 'Oh. Shit. No way. There's no way...that kid is Takahashi Ryousuke's...cousin? Oh I am in trouble if she is...' This whole night was now beginning to make some kind of sick sense. It appeared that Takahashi Ryousuke was a bit overprotective of his cousin, and that was probably not a very good thing. Watanabe hoped that his brother with the spiky hair wasn't equally as overprotective, because everyone in the racing circles knew that Takahashi Keisuke was one tough son-of-a-bitch. Perhaps it was a stroke of luck that Watanabe only had to deal with the brains of the Takahashi brothers and not the brawn.

But, Ryousuke had still pulled that crazy shit with the car. Watanabe didn't know him, after all. This could still be a big problem; the Takahashi were famous. If it became known that he had pissed them off, for whatever reason, it really _would_ be better to return to Tokyo. Nice.

Ryousuke walked up to him from behind. "I'd appreciate it now if you would tell me how much you know about her, and then I will appreciate it more if you forget it. Immediately. I _will_ hunt you down if you don't," he said quietly into Watanabe's ear, his tone tinged with the mock sweetness he had demonstrated at the starting position. Then, not changing his position relative to Watanabe's ear, Ryousuke shouted, "So fucking tell me everything!"

"I-I didn't know she was your cousin!" Watanabe retorted, cringing at the volume Ryousuke's low voice could produce. "How could I have known that?! It's not like she god-damn told me!"

"Tell me what you know!"

"Only her given name. That's all. I noticed her account was deleted, but I haven't done anything."

"But you were planning to," Ryousuke said with disgust, mostly for Watanabe, and a small part for his own struggles with restraint over the girl.

Watanabe was silent.

"If we have an understanding of each other, you will abandon any such plan. If I find you have made _any_ move to meet with her, to locate her, you will be answering to me. She _will_ tell me. Got it?" he hissed.

"I got it all right. You're busy playing big brother or something. I get you, Takahashi," Watanabe quietly responded. He shoved Ryousuke back, reclaiming both his personal space and his ire that his future at Irohazaka was now shot to hell. "You are a prick though for messing with my chance to get on Emperor. Who gives you the right to march on up here to Irohazaka and screw with Sudou's team just for some personal grudge?!"

"Kyouichi gave me the right to screw with _you_ , asshole. You're not on his team, and it's a Public Road. Anyone can challenge anyone for whatever reasons they like. And I have a right to see that you don't lay even a breath on my cousin, never mind all those other...things you were fantasizing about." Again, the feeling of disgust came and washed over him, and again it was like purging his own system of it for good. He actually felt like a burden had been lifted.

"All right, Takahashi. Have it your way. I won't touch your baby. But I'm still protesting this shit with Sudou-san!"

Before Ryousuke could retort, both drivers became aware of another car approaching the bridge. The annoying "bang-bang" sound told the pair that it was Kyouichi's black Evo III. Apparently he had heard from his team members at the goal that the cars had stopped inside the tunnel.

Kyouichi pulled up behind Watanabe's car, effectively boxing him in between his Evo and the FC. He cut the engine, and he alighted from the car along with his number two driver Iwaki.

"Everything all right?" Kyouichi called, smirking at the still touching red and white cars. Inwardly he asked, 'What the hell kind of shit did you pull here, Ryousuke?'

"Ah. Kyouichi. We're about finished here."

"Heh. Your lecture over already?"

"More or less," Ryousuke replied with a smirk to match the one which graced the angular features of Kyouichi's face. He turned to Watanabe. _"Isn't it?"_ he sternly demanded.

"Sudou-san!" Watanabe shouted, ignoring Ryousuke. "This is ridiculous! You're actually going to let this guy tell you who you can and can't have on the team?"

"Idiot!" Kyouichi bellowed. " _I_ decide that. I already knew why Ryousuke was pissed. I happen to agree with it, and you're not going to drive for me, so accept the loss. The agreement we had said that if you lost, you're not allowed to try again. Tough luck, buddy. I'd stay far away from here too. Wouldn't want Ryousuke here to have to come back and talk your ear off again."

Ryousuke chuckled. Watanabe didn't like it. He knew he had to get out of there, he knew it was no sense in getting all three of these guys riled up, especially Iwaki. If even Iwaki would act like Takahashi's obedient servant, Watanabe knew he'd be heading for trouble, and, perhaps, a hospital. However, he couldn't help himself from delivering a jab at the superior acting Takahashi as he opened his car door.

"You should tell your little cousin to stop being such a tease, you know. She's good at it. But then, you probably already know that. Maybe you're jealous. Kissing cousins, are we?" he drawled, getting into his car.

Both Seiji and Kyouichi were stunned that Watanabe would make such a remark to Ryousuke. Didn't he realize who the hell he was talking to? Ryousuke might be an asshole, but he was still the White Comet, and deserved respect for that alone.

That was it. Ryousuke quickly re-approached and pulled Watanabe from the seat and pushed him up against the car, mainly out of anger, and partly out of his own sense of shame. "I don't like handling things violently," he spat, "but, if you want to play this game this way, I will certainly oblige."

The two Emperor racers were equally stunned to see the normally collected Ryousuke lay a hand on his opponent. Seiji reacted first and took a step in their direction, but he was stopped by Kyouichi's arm as it shot out like a barrier to Seiji's chest. "Let him handle it, Seiji," Kyouichi cautioned, still surprised himself that Ryousuke would react in such a way. He really was tougher than he looked. Kyouichi made a quick mental note to never accidentally refer to Ryousuke as a pretty boy in anything other than his thoughts again.

"But Kyouichi!" Seiji protested.

Ryousuke immediately thought better of his actions and released his hold on Watanabe. "I'm going to move my car, and I want you out of my sight. Now," he said with an eerily calm tone. He walked to the FC, got in, and pulled over enough to allow the red Evo III pass as Seiji glared at Watanabe and Kyouichi stood, his mouth half open. 'Guess I over-reacted,' Ryousuke thought. 'Oh well.'

Watanabe took notice of Seiji and thought better of making any further comments. He saw a rage in the eyes of Takahashi Ryousuke that he didn't expect, and it was chilling. Maybe he hit a nerve, he didn't know, he didn't have time to care. He got into the car and sped off, thinking about how he was going to get out of his yearlong lease to his apartment.

Ryousuke got out of his car again and lit a cigarette. Kyouichi and Seiji immediately approached him.

"Sorry about that, Kyouichi," he said between a couple of quick drags of his cigarette. "I guess I lost my temper for a bit."

"A bit?" Kyouichi incredulously asked. "I never thought I'd see the day when _you'd_ be the punisher," he added with a wry chuckle. Seiji nodded his agreement, apparently falling back to his mandate to be silent as his team leader and Ryousuke had their interaction.

Ryousuke shrugged. "I have my moments," he relented. There was no point in covering it with any excuses, and he didn't care to. He was surprisingly relieved that he still had the sense that the simulation involving Tsugumi was officially closed. Watanabe's insinuation had definitely struck a nerve, but it didn't interfere with his objective to scare the shit out of the guy and force him off the mountain, and, if the guy had half a brain, out of Tsugumi's life.

"Apparently," Kyouichi agreed. "You really are quite a bastard, Ryousuke."

"I know."

Ryousuke finished half the cigarette and discarded it. "Well, I have to get home. Thanks for allowing me to play on your course. I'd nearly forgotten what a fun course it is."

Kyouichi smiled. "Yeah, right. Like you'd forget anything about a course you've driven."

When he turned, smirking a little, Kyouichi saw that Ryousuke noticed the smear of red paint on the front end of the FC. "Too bad I couldn't bill him for that," he remarked casually as he got in the car, in what Kyouichi recognized as his typical arrogant fashion. 'Guess he's back to being the gentleman. What a crock, Ryousuke. You're a whack job and you know it,' Kyouichi thought to himself.

"See ya later, Kyouichi. Thanks again."

With that, the White Comet was off.

"That was interesting, wasn't it, Kyouichi-san?" Seiji asked.

"Sure was. If I didn't see it with my own two eyes..."

The taillights disappeared, and, not long afterward, so did the sound of the rotary engine.

* * *

Takahashi Residence. 11PM.

Keisuke had just grabbed something to eat out of the fridge and was camped out in front of the TV. He knew he shouldn't have called Fujiwara, but what was done was done. He felt slightly guilty for it, but he discovered that it wasn't because of what he said to his rival. Rather, it was because Ryousuke had specifically told him not to go to Akina. Even though Keisuke didn't physically go there, he knew that his brother's warning was meant to cover phone calls too.

He looked up at the clock on the DVD player. It was eleven PM. If Ryousuke wasn't out with _him_ , where the hell was he?

Keisuke finished his snack and snuck a few sips from the old man's sake stash, deciding to wait up for Ryousuke. He wasn't sure if he wanted to say anything, and he definitely didn't want to let it slip that he'd had words with Fujiwara, but he did want his brother to come home. Despite his anger, the house was incredibly empty without his Aniki upstairs clicking away on his computer. Simply knowing he was there had brought Keisuke comfort since he was a child, and he knew that it was Ryousuke who had been the vital link between Keisuke and the rest of this shitty world. He didn't want to share any more of his Aniki with Fujiwara besides Project D, and that was already almost too much before all this other crap had happened.

'I did idolize him too much,' he thought. He wondered if that mistake was his own, or if it was Ryousuke's for allowing it.

As he tried not to contemplate that further, his cell phone beeped, alerting him to a text. He read it. It was from Ryousuke.

"Sorry I missed your call. Home within the hour."

"Lovely," Keisuke said aloud to no one. He spent the next forty-five minutes aimlessly channel surfing until he heard the sound of the FC approach the house. The low hum of the garage door was heard next, and the sound of Ryousuke parking the car came seconds later.

Ryousuke backed into the garage, the fact that he had plenty of room to get out of the car without squeezing between the FC and the FD didn't escape him. Keisuke was definitely too pissed or hurt to play his usual prank. He cut the engine and took a deep breath, hoping that Keisuke was ready to talk. He had called. That was good. The fact that Ryousuke missed the call was not as good. He closed the garage door with the remote on the visor, deciding to buff out the red paint in the morning. Keisuke came first.

He got out of the FC and made his way toward the door, thinking he could hear the TV blaring. He opened it, and exchanged his shoes for slippers. He got water out of the refrigerator and walked toward the TV room.

"Sorry the phone was off. I was busy," Ryousuke remarked, cringing slightly at the ridiculous volume of the television which Keisuke had painstakingly hooked up to the biggest set of stereo speakers known to humankind. It was a project that had taken him the entirety of a weekend since he refused both to read any instruction manuals and Ryousuke's offer to read them to him aloud as he worked. "Real men don't need instructions," he had quipped. Ryousuke mused that he would like an instruction manual for dealing with Keisuke at this moment, whether that made him less of a man or not. He simply wasn't sure how his brother would be. Dealing with Keisuke's emotional reactions to things was always a challenge, even on the most mundane of subject matter. Of course, he knew Keisuke well, but this was not a situation likely to have ever crossed his otouto's mind. Who knows how he would handle things tonight?

Keisuke heard the voice. It was calm, but he could hear that Ryousuke was being cautious. It was subtle, a timbre Keisuke assumed that only he would be able to discern. "I guess," he responded to his brother's apology for the missed call.

"Keisuke-"

"Where were you?" the younger interrupted flatly.

Ryousuke exhaled. "I was out making sure that the situation with Tsugumi and her online boyfriend was closed."

Keisuke finally turned to look at his brother, apparently to assess the truth of his statement. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. You could call it...taking out a little insurance."

"Whatever that means," Keisuke grumbled, turning, and channel surfing once again.

"Keisuke, please. We can talk about this, can't we?"

"Nope."

Ryousuke studied the random channel surfing, and the slouching form of his brother on the sectional, only the highest of his blonde spikes clearing the back of it. It might be the silent treatment then, for a while. Okay.

"All right, I deserve that, I guess," Ryousuke said softly, knowing there wasn't anything else he could say that might lift his brother from the couch. "I'll be upstairs, probably up all night."

"Whatever."

Keisuke's terse reply actually belied the sense of relief he felt. He had gotten his wish; Ryousuke was home. Where he belonged. At least, for tonight, he wouldn't be out with Fujiwara doing...whatever it is they did. Shit. He was getting pissed again.

He could hear Ryousuke make his way toward the back staircase. "I'll be on the night rotation until Friday morning, so I won't be home nights this week," he offered over his shoulder.

"Heh," Keisuke chuckled unpleasantly. Ryousuke heard it, he paused mid-step, and his guard instantly went up. He knew his brother well enough to know when an angry barb was about to be thrown his way. It hadn't happened in so long, but now it had been occurring way too much today, and Ryousuke wasn't sure he could patiently take anything else Keisuke might say. He'd already over-reacted once tonight, and he was in no mood to indulge any childish insults Keisuke might create. Even if he probably deserved every one of them, it still didn't make it right. And...it hurt.

"What is it Keisuke?" Ryousuke asked.

"You're going to be at work all week, every night. You might just as well stay on campus."

"Are you asking me to do that?" Ryousuke queried cautiously, a frown coming to his lips.

"I don't care what you do." It was a lie, but it sounded good.

"All right. If you don't care, then I'll come and go as usual," Ryousuke answered, resuming his walk to the back stairs. He stopped again when he heard Keisuke lower the volume on the television. "Is there anything else?"

"I think you might have been right after all," Keisuke said flatly, more to the television than to his brother.

"About what?"

"If you start staying at the apartment all week, then maybe you _are_ turning into the old man. He's never home, why should you be?"

Ryousuke felt like he'd been punched. He wished he _had_ been punched instead of hearing what he just heard.

"Keisuke-"

"Then you could have all the love affairs you want, just like the old man does too."

Ryousuke was taken aback. He had no idea Keisuke, too, was aware of their father's many indiscretions. "How long have you known about that?" Ryousuke quietly asked.

"Long enough. I'm home more than you are. I hear mom cry over it when she thinks no one's here. Not that she'd ask _me_ for anything."

"Oh." There was nothing else Ryousuke could say to that. "I didn't know that was happening," he admitted. Shit.

"She wouldn't burden you with it. You're the reason she wakes up when she decides to wake up, I'm sure. I won't tell her you do the same thing her husband does. At least you both have the decency to take it somewhere else."

"Keisuke, you already know why I couldn't say anything about the people I was with. It's not the same," Ryousuke softly asserted, hating every second of Keisuke's comparison of his own affairs with their father's.

"If what you do hurts your family, it is the same," his brother evenly replied.

It wasn't the same, was it? No. It wasn't. Ryousuke was sure of that. Keisuke was angry, and hurt, but Ryousuke couldn't be patient with him when it came to this anymore. Keisuke either would accept it, or he wouldn't; he couldn't continue to indulge his otouto like a child. They were grown, and Ryousuke was about to leave. Sure, Keisuke wasn't yet aware of just how far away he would be, but the result would effectively be the same. Perhaps Keisuke was more upset that Ryousuke might be living a life that was truly separate from him than who he chose to sleep with. The fact that he had been with Takumi was perhaps the final straw that made the reality that Ryousuke wouldn't always be home whenever Keisuke expected truly sink in.

"What the hell do you want from me then?" Ryousuke demanded to know.

"I want you to..." Keisuke's voice trailed off. 'Not leave,' he thought, in silent completion of his statement.

"Keisuke, eventually we'll leave this house. Both of us will." Ryousuke always seemed to know exactly what he was thinking. It sucked.

"Yeah. I know," Keisuke said as he rose from the couch, flipping off the TV. "And the sooner you go, the sooner I can too. So go and shack up with Fujiwara or whatever until you get bored with him, and I'll be out of your way also once I sign with a team."

He strode past Ryousuke, heading up the stairs. Ryousuke didn't like the sound of the phrase "bored with him", but he let both that and Keisuke go, waiting until he heard the door close above before he made his own assent. He knew now that this was beyond Fujiwara, beyond Keisuke's sense of betrayal over that. It was Keisuke's sense of loss because he thought that his one ally in the family was about to leave him truly alone.

Ryousuke realized he might not ever be able to fix that; Keisuke needed to believe in himself to fix that on his own. 'Keisuke, you're growing up. I know it sucks.'


	21. Chapter 21

Takahashi Residence. 12:30 PM, Sunday.

Ryousuke saved his file on the laptop and reached for the small coffee decanter on his desk. Empty. He opened his desk drawer to get more coffee, and then he remembered that he had used the remaining contents of the canister to make the last pot.

Sighing, he decided a trip to the kitchen was warranted. He dumped the used coffee grounds into the wastebasket and took the bag out of his trash can to dispose of it downstairs. He had finally finished the second clinical report and had sent it off to his team of interns; he was actually contemplating a nap, but he wanted to get the third report started at the very least. Besides, it gave him something to do instead of worrying about his Aces.

He made his way to the kitchen, his decision made to stay up a little longer. He got some fruit out of the refrigerator and ate it as he ground the coffee beans. He noticed that there wasn't much in the way of food in the house, but that was typical by the time Sunday rolled around. Every Monday morning the housekeeper would arrive to tidy up and do the shopping for the week. He stifled a yawn, despite the fact that no one was around to care if he allowed his exhaustion to show. Perhaps he should sleep today, knowing that trying to sleep whilst a vacuum cleaner was running downstairs tomorrow would not really work. Ryousuke could sleep through a lot, but, for some reason, the noise of a vacuum, though necessary, kept him awake and edgy, the annoying whirring sound too loud to ignore.

At least, now that he and Keisuke were older, he didn't have to deal with anyone who was essentially a stranger coming into his own room anymore; they stopped having a live-in when Keisuke started getting into trouble in his teens. Once he had graduated high school, Ryousuke had proposed to Father that he and Keisuke were old enough to keep their own rooms. Father was pleased. In actuality, Ryousuke just never felt comfortable with anyone not specifically invited to enter his personal space, and he knew Keisuke was sick of getting in trouble like a child half his age whenever any cleaning service wanted to charge them extra for cleaning his room and bathroom. Not to mention, no one in the family really wanted a housekeeper to find anything less than legal in his brother's cave while they were going about their business. If Keisuke liked it messy, oh well; he was the one who had to live in it. Ryousuke had the notion that Keisuke actually took some kind of enjoyment out of being a slob, even if it was to get negative attention from their mother and father; that kind of attention was about all he ever got anyway. At that time, he barely slept in his room anyway, out to all hours of the night, and sometimes out for days at a time staying God only knew where. By this time, their parents had just about washed their hands of him entirely, only serving as disciplinarians and damage control personnel, and Keisuke was on his path to self-destruction. By the time he was nineteen, he had already had his little criminal record, and he wasn't at all interested in lending a listening ear to any conversations Ryousuke had tried to initiate with him at that point.

However, Keisuke did come to him with something once. He was seventeen and he barged into Ryousuke's room one night looking as white as a sheet. Ryousuke had been trying to study for his first round of freshman exams, and he really didn't want to be bothered, but something told him to put his highlighter down and give Keisuke his attention. "Try knocking next time," he had admonished when the otouto burst in.

"Ryousuke! I need your credit card!" Keisuke had shouted.

"What?" the elder snapped.

"Just, give it to me. I need it."

"Keisuke, you have your own money."

"Uh...well, I won't have any until next month. I spent this month's."

"Ah," Ryousuke said, rolling his eyes and returning the highlighter to his hand. Apparently Keisuke had gone through his monthly trust fund allowance. Again. "Get a job then like other kids if you can't keep your hands on the _ample_ money Father provides you every month. And I mean a _legal_ job," Ryousuke had crossly added. "I need to study. Don't bother me if this is about money."

Before he returned his eyes to his notes, Ryousuke saw his brother's face grow from pale to flushed. He didn't look angry. He almost looked...worried. Ryousuke immediately thought that he had gotten in over his head with one of his new gangster pals; maybe he was gambling, maybe he forgot to pay for his last 8 ball of coke, who knew? Perhaps this wasn't about frivolous spending after all.

"How much money do you need, Keisuke?" he finally asked in response to the changed demeanor.

"I'm not sure. That's why I need your credit card," Keisuke quietly replied.

"You going to tell me what I'm buying with it?"

"I'd...rather not."

Ryousuke frowned. "Then my answer is no."

"But, _Ryousuke_!"

"Just tell me what it's for, and I will consider loaning it to you. And, it _will_ be a loan, Otouto."

"You _suck_!" Keisuke shouted, balling his fists. "That's the last time I ask you for anything, asshole!"

"Have it your way, then," the elder calmly replied, returning to his book. However, Keisuke did not storm out of his room like he had expected. This could be bad. "You're not leaving," he remarked, not looking up from his textbook. Ryousuke continued to read, and Keisuke stood silently, watching him.

"Ryousuke, Aniki, I need...your help," Keisuke whispered.

It was an admission, and Ryousuke had been shocked to hear it. Something was really wrong here after all. He put down his highlighter again and stood up from his chair. "Sit down, then," he softly directed his brother to his bed. Keisuke sat down, and Ryousuke sat sideways on the bed himself to face him. "What happened?"

"If I tell you, I don't wanna hear about how stupid I am, so just tell me whether or not you'll loan me the money, and that's it, all right?"

"All right," Ryousuke begrudgingly agreed.

"I might have...," he paused, his face growing crimson.

"What?" Ryousuke implored. 'Burned a house down? Stolen a car? Stolen drugs? Bet away your motorcycle? Killed someone?' These rapid thoughts were the things that immediately came to Ryousuke's mind.

"I might have gotten a girl pregnant," Keisuke blurted out.

Ryousuke felt his mouth hang open a bit. "Oh." Big problem.

"' _Oh_ '?! Is that all you are going to say?! Shit."

"You told me not to tell you how stupid you are."

Keisuke put his head in his hands. "I know it was stupid. But, yeah. So, do you realize why I need the money now? I need this to go away! I can't have a brat right now! You'll help me, won't you?"

Ryousuke sighed. "How long ago was it?"

"About...uh...a month? Month and a half maybe."

"Is she sure?"

"Of course she's not _sure_! That's why I need the money. I need to take care of it now if it's for real! I'm only seventeen and she's...God, Ryousuke, I don't know how old she is."

Ryousuke took a deep breath. This was definitely not his area of expertise for sure. He might be the elder, but he was pretty sure that Keisuke had far more experience than he did. In fact, he had still been getting over the shock that his preferences definitely leaned the other way, still feeling shame in his actions whenever he had tentatively ventured to indulge in the pleasure of another man's company. He'd actually only been with one woman before, a girl really, whom he knew had crushed on him all through high school. He had called her not long after he had first been with a man, in an effort to purge himself of the overwhelming sense that something was terribly wrong with him. She allowed it, welcomed it even. And yet, Ryousuke came away with feeling only guilt and a sense of disappointment; granted, both of them were inexperienced, and it was obvious. They had met a few more times, dating really, out of Ryousuke's sense of obligation to her. But, soon, she had grown bored with his lack of full attention and she moved on, which gave Ryousuke both a sense of relief and trepidation that he would have to face the fact that he wasn't going to miss being intimate with her much at all.

But he had at least managed to remember a condom, something his little brother apparently forgot.

"Then she needs to see a doctor to find out, and I'm sure you don't want me to suggest taking her to one of Father's clinics," Ryousuke whispered.

"Obviously. Wow. You really are a genius," Keisuke replied sarcastically, sulking.

Ryousuke sighed. "Look, Keisuke. There's a clinic at the University. I'll take her there for a test. I'm a student, and I'll just say that she's my girlfriend."

"You'd do that?" Keisuke breathed; obviously he was surprised that Ryousuke would get personally involved to an extent beyond the loaning of his credit card.

"Yeah. But, if it turns out she's pregnant, well, then we'll have to figure out what happens after that. I'll take her for a test, but I'm not claiming a baby for you, Keisuke. If she...wants to keep it, you will have to tell our parents if it comes to that. I think you know what that means."

"They'll pay her off to keep her mouth shut, and beat me senseless."

"Could be," Ryousuke mused. Decision made. He'd handle this for his brother, perhaps, it would open the door for Keisuke to begin to trust him. He certainly knew that he didn't like it when their Father beat him, an occurrence that happened regularly even when they were children, and which had been happening even more frequently since Keisuke had started getting into trouble. "But, first thing's first. Give me her number."

"Here. She should pick up right away. I told her I'd call her back," Keisuke said quietly, handing Ryousuke his new toy: a cell phone.

Ryousuke chuckled. "No wonder you don't have any money. These things aren't cheap you know. I don't even have one yet," he added.

"Heh. Well, yeah, they aren't cheap, but I need it for my...well, I just need one," Keisuke sheepishly admitted. "They'll come down though when everyone gets one, I guess."

"Yeah, I suppose," Ryousuke said, not wanting to really know all the reasons why Keisuke needed a cell phone despite the fact that he was still technically in high school, even if he skipped more often than not. He was sure his "associates" required it, or maybe it was Keisuke who required it from his associates. Who knew? Keisuke's surrogate family was full of tough guys, and, apparently, daring girls.

Ryousuke looked at the contact entry for this girl. "Keisuke, you have her in your address book as 'T.A.'. I can't exactly call and ask for initials."

"Eh?"

"Her name, Keisuke. Did you bother to get it?" he asked dryly.

"Geez! What do you take me for? Of course I got her name. It's Aya-chan."

"Just checking," Ryousuke replied as he dialed.

As the phone rang, Keisuke scowled. "I'm not that bad."

"Sure you aren't," Ryousuke supplied sarcastically, earning another scowl from his otouto.

"Hello? Keisuke-kun?" came a very young and fearful sounding voice on the other end.

"Hello. Is this Aya-chan?"

"Yes. Who's this?"

"My name is Takahashi Ryousuke, I'm Keisuke's elder brother."

"Oh. Uh, hello."

"Keisuke has informed me of your...dilemma."

"Oh. He told me he was going to try to ask you..."

"I think our best course of action would be to determine exactly what's happened, right?"

"Yeah," came the hesitant reply.

Ryousuke made arrangements with Aya-chan to pick her up early on his way to school, and explained that he would get her into the clinic with his student ID as his girlfriend. She agreed, and he jotted down her address in the margin of his notebook.

"Of course, you'll have to skip school, but, since you hang out with Keisuke, I imagine that's not a problem for you."

Keisuke rolled his eyes.

"Uh, yeah. I can ditch," Aya-chan sheepishly replied.

"Fine. It also means you will have to wait for me afterward, so bring a book to read or something, and I'll return you home after I'm done for the day. Is that acceptable?"

"Y-yes, Onii-san. Thank you very much. I'm very sorry to...be troubling you like this."

Ryousuke exhaled. "There's no need to apologize. I'll get my apology from Keisuke. However, I need to get you in before my first class after all, and I won't tolerate your making me late, so be waiting for me."

"I-I will."

"Okay. I'll put Keisuke on for you."

He handed the phone to Keisuke who snatched it up, muttering something about not wanting to apologize to Ryousuke for anything.

"Yo. Aya-chan...yeah. Don't oversleep 'cause he'll be pissed..."

Ryousuke chuckled. 'Yeah, I would be,' he thought.

"...I know...We'll, uh, figure it out...Yeah. I guess he is...Okay. I'll call you tomorrow."

Ryousuke looked at his brother again. "Well?"

"She told me I had an amazingly understanding elder brother," Keisuke grumbled.

"Hn. I'm not _that_ understanding. You'll owe me. Big. And not just the money."

Keisuke scowled again. "Yeah, yeah. I know that already."

The next day, Ryousuke had picked up Aya-chan, who appeared to be about Keisuke's age, perhaps a year or two younger. He walked her into the clinic and signed in, ignoring the look of disapproval he received from the nurse as she read what he had filled in for the section entitled "Purpose For Visit". Aya-chan took her test, and, no baby. 'Thank God,' Ryousuke thought. While he was waiting, he had felt as nervous as if he had actually been the almost-father. He supposed he played his part well, he remembered with a chuckle to himself. If Keisuke had made a baby out of wedlock, it would have been over for him with the family for sure; he'd probably be sent away from the house with a mandate never to return. Certainly, he'd be disinherited, but that would be the least of things. His legal troubles could be swept under the rug somewhat, but it would have been pretty hard for their Father to hide a baby after all.

Ryousuke had gone to class that day with an enormous sense of relief that it wouldn't come to that. When he was finished, he picked Aya-chan up at the library where he had instructed her to wait for him. They drove back in silence for a while, and then Aya-chan finally spoke.

"Thank you very much for today, Onii-san. I'm very sorry," she said with relief coloring her tone.

"It's all right. We all make mistakes. Just try not to ever make this particular mistake again. That goes for Keisuke too, not just you, Aya-chan."

"Okay, but I saw the way that lady looked at you, as if...you were the one, well, you know," she tentatively added.

"I don't really care about that."

"Oh. Okay. I never thought that you would be like this."

Ryousuke glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes. "Like what?"

"Like nice. Keisuke-kun says you're...well, uh,..." she stammered.

"An asshole?" Ryousuke offered with a chuckle.

"He actually says 'prick' most of the time," Aya-chan replied, being put at ease somewhat by Ryousuke's comment.

"I guess, 'most of the time', he's probably right," Ryousuke said as they pulled up to Aya-chan's modest home. "Sorry you had to skip school for this."

"Heh. I hate that place," Aya-chan offered as she got out of the car. "Thank you again, Onii-san," she added with a polite bow.

"Sure."

Ryousuke had decided to make one more stop on the way home. He pulled the FC into the lot of the nearest pharmacy and bought a couple of boxes of condoms, planning to give one to Keisuke. He bought a pleasingly decorated gift bag and a small card, adding it to Keisuke's running tab on his credit card. Sure, he could have billed the clinic visit to his student account, but that would have only led to their Father asking questions when the bill from the University came to the house. So, Ryousuke had paid it private pay, and Keisuke would definitely be paying him back for the outrageous charge the simple test had cost.

He had arrived home to find Keisuke anxiously awaiting his return upstairs. "Aya-chan called me. What a friggin' nightmare! Glad that's over. I-"

"Here's a little present for my forgetful Otouto," Ryousuke calmly interrupted, handing Keisuke the small gift bag as he walked into his room and closed the door. He had written a simple instruction on the card: "Use them."

Seconds later a knock came and Keisuke poked his head inside. "Thanks. I won't screw up like that again."

"You're welcome. Once you pay me back, this matter will be closed." He saw Keisuke nod, an expression of gratitude not seen in years present on his face. "I hope this means that you won't immediately discount anything I say to you as bullshit from now on."

"I might not," Keisuke had answered plainly.

"Okay."

That had been good enough. It was a good few years after that before Keisuke would start listening to him, but it eventually happened. They had since grown as close as adults as they once were as very small children. Ryousuke realized that Keisuke's difficult adolescence had many contributing factors, but the fact that Ryousuke was the obvious favorite, and the fact that Keisuke knew since youth that he was basically unwanted were the most damaging. It was heart wrenching for Ryousuke to know that Keisuke was still not at peace with himself, and he hoped that Keisuke's anger toward him now wouldn't linger.

If Keisuke had intended to hurt his brother, he certainly succeeded. Ryousuke's biggest fear was that he would someday be just like their Father. He had told Keisuke that, and Keisuke threw it right back at him. Ryousuke still felt that his reasoning for living with his secret the way he did wasn't the same, but he knew that there were definitely times when his own personality mirrored that of their Father's. He tried to be mindful of it, but sometimes, it couldn't be helped. There were some traits that he was actually glad he had shared with his Father; the ease with which he took to academics, his prudence with money, his competitive streak. Keisuke shared the competitiveness also, but Ryousuke doubted their Father would ever recognize it since it was applied to racing in the case of Keisuke. It was all the other things, the insensitivity, the cold, harsh demeanor, his extremely low tolerance for mistakes, and, of course, the near indifference he often had when it came to his personal relationships; those were the things that Ryousuke found he had to watch out for, especially as he had grown into adulthood. He realized that he sometimes didn't deal well with the stress living his Father's prescribed life gave him.

He finished grinding enough coffee to fill his canister and ate a final slice of fruit. He wondered when his parents would return, and he wondered if his Father would stay the night, or if he'd simply grab a few suits and return to his condo. He assumed it would be the latter, and Mother would retreat, Ryousuke would leave for his shift, and Keisuke would be there doing whatever he did when he wanted to hole up in his room.

When, in the past, it had been Keisuke who would disappear from the house, now it was Ryousuke who wasn't home more often than not, and Keisuke was here. Ryousuke was incredibly bothered by the knowledge that Keisuke had overheard their Mother's distress, and he was even more bothered by the fact that he was unaware both of that and of Keisuke's own knowledge of the infidelity. He supposed he had wanted to shield his brother from that, knowing that Keisuke had enough to think about on his own. Once again, he had underestimated his brother. He really needed to stop doing that, because, obviously, Keisuke _did_ know when to keep his mouth shut.

Unfortunately, Ryousuke realized that it only meant that Keisuke absorbed their Mother's pain into his own. Ryousuke didn't want his brother to suffer from things beyond his control, but, as an emotional, instinctual person, his brother probably couldn't detach himself from things like that. Just like he couldn't step back and examine why it was that Ryousuke would be drawn to his rival in a way that went beyond the bond that Project D had given all three of them. Ryousuke hoped that, in time, Keisuke might understand that even his elder brother actually was capable of feeling...something.

Ryousuke returned to his room and started another pot of coffee. It was nearly one in the afternoon, and Keisuke, apparently, was still sleeping. 'Well, it's no wonder,' Ryousuke thought. All night long, he could hear him puttering around his room, alternately playing an almost too loud game on his Playstation, and rummaging through the many piles of whatever on his floor. Ryousuke had been working on his report, but, as the hours went by and Keisuke didn't approach his room even once, Ryousuke had felt an incredible sadness come over him. Things eventually grew quiet down the hall at around six that morning.

Sure, he griped about Keisuke monopolizing his time, but the brothers knew that was as much for show as was Keisuke's little prank of always parking too close in the garage. Sometimes, the FD was so impossibly close that Ryousuke sometimes wondered if he was putting on weight as he squeezed himself out of his own car, careful not to get any of that obnoxious yellow paint on the FC.

Then, Ryousuke remembered he hadn't buffed out the obnoxious red paint that marred the front of the FC from the confrontation on Irohazaka. He poured coffee, and went to the garage to do just that.

Once that chore had been completed, he returned upstairs. There was still no sound from Keisuke's domain. Ryousuke entered his room and set his coffee cup down on his desk. After a minute spent loading his next clinical report on the laptop, he found himself in a role-reversal of sorts, walking quietly toward his brother's room.

He stood at the door, listening for any sounds beyond. He knocked lightly, and received no response. Cautiously, he opened the door a bit. Unlike his own door with the frosted glass panels which still allowed for light to pass and a clouded view to be seen, Keisuke had nailed a curtain, really it was a bed sheet, behind his to further obscure the view from any intruders such as his older brother and his younger cousin. Ryousuke mused that he may as well have kept the "DO NOT ENTER" road sign he used to have on it when they were younger. Ryousuke was 100% certain that road sign had been expertly purloined from an unsuspecting one way street at some point during Keisuke's dangerous adolescence.

He peeked inside Keisuke's room, and, though it had been a while since he had dared to enter it, it looked pretty much the same as the last time he saw it. Ryousuke called it a mess, and Keisuke refuted that, preferring the term "organized chaos" instead. Keisuke staunchly insisted that he knew where everything was at all times. In a fit of exasperation once, Ryousuke had demanded he prove it, rattling off a list of items that should have been stored in the garage or elsewhere in the house. To his amazement, Keisuke found every single thing with incredible ease, rendering his elder brother nearly speechless. Now, Ryousuke just gently teased him about it, and both brothers knew it was lighthearted jabbing, and not criticism. Keisuke was his own person, messy, but unique.

Ryousuke saw his brother's sleeping form on the bed, and a smirk came to his lips. Keisuke had always been a rough sleeper, and it appeared as though that childhood trait had stayed with him. He was in an almost impossible position on his bed, his head mashed into the pillows, and half on his stomach, half on his side with one leg dangling off the side of his bed, and the other bent underneath his body. He had kicked the covers off and hadn't bothered with a t-shirt to cover his upper body. His sleeping pants were precariously low on his hips so that, if anyone saw him like that, they might assume his name was "Joe Boxer" as advertised by the waistband of his boxer-briefs which peeked over his slouching pants.

Ryousuke gingerly approached the bed, careful not to step on anything, careful not to wake his sleeping brother. When he was beside it, he thought that Keisuke looked more peaceful than his crazy sleeping position and wild bed-head ought to have allowed. Ryousuke picked up the castaway blanket and covered his brother. He might well have whispered that he loved him, but Ryousuke wasn't particularly good at saying that aloud, even if Keisuke was asleep and wouldn't hear. But, he did love him, he treasured him; Keisuke was "the blessing" as his name declared. As Keisuke shifted slightly under the new warmth of the blanket, Ryousuke did find it within him to whisper something.

"I'm sorry, Keisuke. For everything. Please don't be angry with me anymore."

Ryousuke exited, and returned soundlessly to his studies. He would stay awake all day and all night if he had to, if only to hear his brother knock on his door and barge in anyway.

It was what Keisuke was supposed to do.


	22. Chapter 22

Fujiwara Tofu Shop, 6:30 AM, Tuesday.

The light buzzing of Takumi's alarm clock roused him from his weekday mini-nap between the tofu delivery and his job at the local moving and storage company. He stared at the ceiling for a while, scowling at it, hating the act of studying peeling paint for becoming his new pastime. He'd spent the last two days like a wraith, staying silently in his room, leaving only for necessary things: using the bathroom, drinking a little, eating a little less, delivering the tofu, and going to work the previous day.

"You sick, Idiot?" his father had asked. Rather, Bunta had accosted him Monday morning when Takumi exited the shower.

"No."

"You sure?"

 _Do you really care? I delivered the stupid tofu._

"Yeah, I think I'd know, Dad," he had replied, squeezing around his father in the narrow hallway of the upstairs living quarters of the shop. It was an effort to escape to the relative safety of his room before the old man spoke again. It was futile, and he knew it would be.

"You've been taking a lot of Aspirin," Bunta complained. "The bottle's empty."

 _Gee, let's see. Should I tell you I slept with a guy and my ass hurt for two days? Will that work for you? No. I won't be telling you that. Leave me alone!_

"I've had a headache."

 _Now go away._

"Well, I'm planning on going to the bar this weekend, so make sure there's a new bottle in the bathroom by then, dummy," his father had grumbled.

"Whatever, Old Man."

"Oh, and be local this weekend. You might be picking me up if I have enough fun, so keep that damn cell phone charged too."

 _Maybe I'll just drop it in the lake when you call. Oops. Sorry, old man. No drunk old guy taxi service for you!_

"I'll be around," Takumi blandly replied to his father's back as the elder Fujiwara retreated downstairs to occupy his usual post in the shop.

He'd slammed the door and his father griped, and they went about their business with no more words between them for the rest of the day and night. Incredibly, the old man had barely remembered to remind Takumi not to spill the water in the cup when he made the run this morning, and his father almost looked tired, or preoccupied, or something. It could also have been a trick of light. Who could really tell with his old man anyway?

 _That's odd...oh well. Shitty old man. It's about time he realized he doesn't need to tell me not to spill it anyway._

Takumi hadn't slept much either since Saturday, his conflicting thoughts giving his restless mind dreams that felt like they had been nightmares, even if he didn't remember them when he awoke. Takumi didn't have to remember them to know what they were about; he knew that Keisuke had beaten him to a pulp in every single one, and that Ryousuke was nowhere to be seen. While awake, he barely had to think about Ryousuke at all, and his body naturally responded with an insistence that both excited and disturbed him greatly.

 _I'm trying to think about what you said, Ryousuke, and all I keep thinking about is what we did and then what Keisuke-san said. Why didn't you handle him?! You said it wasn't wrong…but I'm starting to think it really was…_

If it was this stressful to think about, it had to be wrong. It had to be. He wasn't supposed to be like that, was he? He wasn't _that_ way, at least he'd never thought of himself that way before. He had always been drawn to girls; when he was in high school, he liked them enough to sneak a few peeks at the schoolgirls who liked to cut their uniform skirts too high. Itsuki shoved enough porn magazines under his nose over the years for him to know that they did work…to an extent anyway. He'd seen a few glimpses of pretty under-things to know it worked for him with certain of his classmates, especially Mogi, of course. He'd enjoyed the view of both Mogi and Mika-chan in their bathing suits at the beach, and had plenty of private moments thinking about what it would be like to have Mika-chan and her athletic body pressed up against his own.

Unfortunately, Takumi had to admit that he'd had about the same number of fantasies about his mentor as he had about Mika-chan. If he were to be brutally honest with himself, he would have to admit that he probably had more about Ryousuke than he ever had about Mika-chan and Mogi put together. Before this weekend, he had thought of it as a product of his sense of flustered nervousness around someone he still saw as a giant of the togue, a person larger than life itself. But, he'd be lying to himself if he thought that was all it was. Ryousuke was impeccable, brilliant, and definitely good-looking.

His clothes. His eyes. The smell of his shampoo and soap. His coarse hair slipping through his fingertips.

 _No._

His body.

 _I need to get ready for work. Now._

And that low, smooth voice of his, and especially some of the things he had said with it; that was another big problem. Takumi threw his hands over his face.

 _Stop!_

When it came to Ryousuke, all of his prior notions about his sexuality had simply flown out the window. It was mainly because the fantasy had somehow managed to be made into this surreal reality, a reality in which he had enjoyed sharing his body with the older man much more than he ever dared to think he would. It was never supposed to become real. It was never supposed to have happened at all, and, if it did happen, he certainly wasn't supposed to like it as much as he did. Right?

 _But I started it. I did and I didn't want to stop. So that makes me...shit._

Mika-chan had messaged a few times, and he had replied with a vague commitment to meet up with her. However, she wanted to plan a date, and her messages were trying to get him to tell her what time to be at their usual restaurant, and Takumi found that he had no idea what to do.

 _How the hell am I going to face her?_

Also, the harsh words said by his rival had made him feel cheap and dirty, like he wasn't supposed to have his grubby hands anywhere near Takahashi Ryousuke. That person was supposed to remain untouchable, especially by the likes of the son of a tofu vendor. Takumi had spent all of Sunday and Monday trying to think about things from every angle, and came up with pitifully little in the way of insight.

Takumi rolled out of bed and headed for the shower. As he undressed, bathed, and re-dressed, he wondered whether Ryousuke truly wanted _him_ , or only his body. His words said he wanted both, but Takumi was afraid to dare that to be true. Ryousuke could have any "body" he wanted, couldn't he have? And yet, Keisuke made it clear that Ryousuke would get married someday, and leave all of this whatever-it-was behind for good. Takumi absently thought about how Kenji-senpai had described their night out at the fancy club; he had said it would be fun to see how "the other half" lived. Takumi had the feeling that Ryousuke didn't always personally agree with what "his half" was supposed to do at all. Was that what he meant by value? The value of not having anyone dictating a person's life for them? But, didn't all Fathers do that? Takumi was sure his Father had to some extent; his driving alone was proof of that.

However, Takumi had to admit that his youth was unconventional, his adolescence not hindered much by things like curfews or mandates to "be a good kid" or "you better get straight A's or else". He'd heard plenty of his classmates back when he was in school, Itsuki included, always gripe about their parents' awful house rules, and Takumi hadn't been able to relate to that since his only mandates were: "Don't spill the water or you'll damage the tofu," and "Make sure you pick me up from the bar."

Ryousuke had told him to think about why he was "valuable" to him, and Takumi still didn't understand, though he did think he was starting to. He knew he didn't have the whole story, and, unfortunately, the only thing there to fill in the gaps of his knowledge were the words of Keisuke, that he meant nothing more to Ryousuke than being some kind of plaything, his _whore._ He replayed that word in his mind over and over again, cursing himself for allowing such a thing to occur if it was true. He couldn't figure out why Keisuke would say that, especially after he'd felt Ryousuke's tenderness, his concern, his...approval. However, he had also seen a side of Ryousuke that was pure desire, passion, or, perhaps it really was some kind of sick force of lust. Maybe there was some truth to what Keisuke was saying. Clearly, Ryousuke knew what he was doing; Takumi didn't delude himself into thinking he'd been the only person who had ever been in the elder's bed.

But even the rough stuff, Takumi thought, was something he had brought on himself out of some kind of sick lust of his own, daring to see how far he could push Ryousuke to show him he was not always a calm, cool, and collected type of person all the time. That, coupled with his stubbornness and anger toward the man for trying to protect him from his own decisions, had made for such volatile excitement that it was overwhelming. So far, thinking about those moments had not failed to induce a shot of arousal whenever the memory surfaced.

The whole encounter was something straight out of the repertoire of those fantasies which his will had failed to keep hidden in the recesses of his obviously messed up head.

' _Takahashi Ryousuke's whore…_ ' _Keisuke-san, why did you have to use that word…?_

Also, there were definitely other problems. Itsuki knew; Takumi hoped to God that the Senpai did not. He'd been avoiding them too, returning messages left with a quick text and another vague commitment to call them back at some undisclosed future date. Worse still, if his father should ever find out...

 _Maybe he'll team-up with Keisuke-san, and the both of them will beat me senseless. Dumbass. That's not even funny._

He'd wanted to cry again, even if he forced himself not to, and he hated himself for that too. Takumi thought for sure he was turning into some kind of heartbroken schoolgirl, someone who was no way tougher than Ryousuke, despite what the elder man had said to the contrary. Takumi had wanted to believe that what Ryousuke shared with him about his own experiences had a ring of truth to it, some of the exact feelings he was now having. But, his disbelief when he heard it from Ryousuke himself would not go away, and Takumi could not picture any situation that would make him shed a tear at all, never mind cry himself to sleep. Hell, he thought, the Ryousuke he knew barely ever slept. But there had to be meaning in it for him to share such a private thing, right? Takumi had hoped it was reassurance. He had taken it that way, but, now, he simply couldn't reconcile the fact that, at one time, Ryousuke might have been as uncertain as Takumi was now. It was hard to believe that his mentor would have ever felt that way; he was so confident in everything, wasn't he?

 _I don't know anything anymore, about myself, or about him._

Takumi was not a person who liked to run away, but this situation was so bizarre, so incredibly shocking that it was getting to the point where Takumi felt that he might have to this time.

 _I was happy with him when he was relaxed, when I was relaxed around him. I wanted to be near him, to stay with him. I'm such a damn girl! He'll be gone in a few months, and you'll be left behind. You really think he'll remember after a year?_

This wasn't like the feeling he had when Mogi left for the University in Tokyo. That had been acceptable and right, and not as painful as he thought it should have been. Sure, before he met Mika-chan, there were times when he thought of Mogi, the times when he felt lonely and lost. He was lost now, and, again, thoughts of Mogi came to him. However, this time it was for comparison, and not the longing for the comfort of a friend as it had been before. He was sure that when Ryousuke left, it would not be acceptable, nor would it be right.

Takumi knew that if he allowed his feelings for Ryousuke to deepen, it would be almost impossible to let him go. He had to stop it, to prevent that unbearable reality from ever becoming real.

If it was over now, it would be less painful later, Takumi thought. He didn't want to do it, but his confusion and his need for self-preservation in the face of Keisuke's harsh words left him no other choice.

It was still early in the morning, but he remembered Ryousuke saying he was on the night rotation at the University hospital. He'd probably still be up, or maybe he was still working. Takumi picked up his phone and scrolled through the numbers until he came to the Kanji that represented the name of his mentor. It was all the way at the bottom of the list, the first number he had put into his cell phone when he bought it. The slip of paper on which it had been originally written had nearly disintegrated from being stored in his wallet since Ryousuke had given it to him the night he had asked him to join Project D.

Back when Ryousuke had appeared at the gas stand to talk to him about joining D, the guys had teased him that night for getting red in the face, and now Itsuki had apologized for that because he knew the bizarre turn their relationship had taken. It was too much, having Itsuki know the real reasons why he'd become so flustered around the older man, now that Takumi had figured it out himself what it probably meant. He realized he would probably have to negotiate his contracts by himself, and that was really intimidating, but there was no way he could go on like this. He had to learn to stop relying on Ryousuke for everything anyway; isn't that what he'd told Itsuki too?

At least, once Takumi dialed the phone, things would go back to the way they were. D was over now, so maybe it would just go back to they way it was before he'd ever met with Ryousuke after work that night in the first place, when the elder was nothing more than an incredible street racer to him. They had to go back to _something_ else, at least, or Takumi thought his head really would explode.

* * *

Gunma University Hospital. 6:57 AM.

"Our last item for today will be the final pre-op consultation with patient Yamada Miri-baa-san," Ryousuke's teaching physician reported, looking at his clipboard. "Her surgeon is Dr. Sakata, and he and the patient have allowed our group to sit in on the consult for her gallbladder operation."

'How incredibly exciting,' Ryousuke moaned to himself as he followed with his group to the appropriate wing of the hospital. It had been an exhausting night; for some reason their duty rotation had been changed last minute, and they had spent the majority of the night in the Emergency Room. They observed and sometimes assisted in all manner of things from minor burns, seizures, a woman in labor, all the way up to emergency heart surgery and a very rarely seen gunshot wound. If Ryousuke had known it was to have been the ER, he probably would have made a point to have taken a nap. ER shifts were incredibly demanding, and it was all he could do to keep his eyes open for some boring lecture about a nice old lady's planned surgery.

Their Sensei handed each of them a copy of the patient chart as they continued down seemingly endless white corridors, and Ryousuke absently looked it over as the doctor lectured the small group of young future doctors. The morning shift was arriving and the sight of its personnel was a relief. Before Ryousuke even realized it, he found himself lagging behind his fellow interns somewhat; he felt a tap on his elbow. "You awake, Takahashi-kun?" Yoshida whispered.

Ryousuke nodded. "Barely."

Yoshida snickered. "The ER kicked your butt last night, didn't it?"

Ryousuke shrugged. "I guess."

"You'd think an adrenaline junkie like you would be psyched to get in there whenever we had the chance. You never know what you'll get down there. It's a thrill, isn't it?"

Ryousuke rolled his eyes. "I suppose," he replied with that blasé attitude which drove the high-strung Yoshida absolutely mad. With his brain, Yoshida thought, Takahashi Ryousuke could run an ER, perhaps become an emergency surgeon himself. One would think that a guy who had a dangerous hobby like street racing would be drawn to the intensity and pace of an ER. It was a total rush, never to know what was going to come through the door, or out from the back of an ambulance. Yoshida himself preferred it to the mundane procedures for which their group was normally charged with assisting. Why Ryousuke did not, he couldn't begin to guess. If it weren't for his outstanding grades, Yoshida might have been tempted to think that Ryousuke was simply going through the motions, barely doing what was needed to get by. Of course, you couldn't really do that and expect to pass, never mind excel, so obviously Ryousuke worked very hard. Still, Yoshida thought that Ryousuke might have very little desire to become a doctor at all.

His bedside manner sure could use some work; when not actively treating something, which he did with astonishing speed and expertise, he was about as exciting to watch as growing grass. When he was talking with a patient, he was exact, methodical, cordial, but never really kind. Sometimes patients, especially children, certainly needed kindness from time to time; Ryousuke had a habit of intimidating his patients, and the guy didn't even realize it. Yoshida recalled mentioning this to him on a break once, and that had been a mistake. The bocchama had given him a healthy dose of whatever foul mood with which his 'poor little rich boy' butt was apparently afflicted.

"You definitely don't have a knack with kids, Takahashi-kun," he had remarked when they had been assigned to pediatrics.

Ryousuke had scowled at him. "What do you mean?"

"That kid you just saw was scared to death of you. I think he thought you were scolding him for getting his ankle sprained."

"I wasn't scolding," Ryousuke had asserted, downing a cup of coffee and reaching in his lab-coat pocket for his ever-present eye drops and a mint.

"Could have fooled me."

"I was simply cautioning him about the potential outcomes of climbing trees, many of which are far worse than a sprained ankle. I wanted him to know that he was very lucky," Ryousuke had replied with a look that said, "If I want your opinion, I'll ask for it."

"Takahashi-kun, he was six years old. Have a heart," Yoshida remembered himself saying with a chuckle and a sip of coffee. "Weren't you a boy once? Didn't you ever climb a tree?"

"No. I didn't." The response was curt and said with biting annoyance. He then escaped to the men's room, ostensibly to use his eye drops.

'Asshole. I wonder when he's going to admit he needs an attitude adjustment or damn contact lenses, or both,' Yoshida remembered thinking. 'Oh well. Probably never on both counts. Let him go blind, and his Father should definitely keep him out of pediatrics. Maybe he should become a medical examiner; you can't lecture the dead.'

As Yoshida was remembering these moments, the group had taken an elevator in silence, and exited down another corridor, their sensei resuming his explanations of the upcoming procedure. Again, Ryousuke was lagging behind, looking at his cell phone. He pocketed it and quickened his pace to catch up. Once again he was walking alongside Yoshida. Thankfully, Sensei had stopped lecturing for a moment to sign them all into the wing, and his students resumed following him once he was finished.

"You seem a little off today, Takahashi-kun. Everything all right at home?"

Ryousuke shot him a look. This guy drove him crazy. 'I know you want to work for my Father, Yoshida,' he thought. 'Leave me alone and I might put in a word for you.'

"Everything's fine. Thank you for asking," Ryousuke replied as politely as he could despite his lack of interest in talking to Yoshida at all. Ever.

"Ah, that's good. Anyway," he continued, much to Ryousuke's chagrin, "I'm just surprised, Takahashi-kun, that you wouldn't want to be an emergency surgeon. You probably could do it. You're very fast with triage and diagnosing the problem," Yoshida offered. It looked like something was bugging his classmate, and Yoshida really didn't want his foul mood to delay their final report. Whatever it was, he'd better get over it quickly.

"Thanks for the compliment, but I don't think I'd care for being 'thrilled' like that all the time," Ryousuke answered plainly, seeing a frown cross the face of his classmate.

There was nothing "thrilling" about being run ragged, especially when the reason for it was, more often than not, the patient's' own stupidity. Of course there were exceptions to that, notable ones, true medical emergencies that did occasionally stimulate his abilities to quickly assess a situation and find an immediate course of action, comparing his mental solution to the actions of the attending physicians to see how they lined up. But last night he found that observing was about all he could manage. He had too much on his mind, personal things which shouldn't be allowed to interfere with his studies at all. He really needed to sleep today, lest his group be met with another stint in the ER when they returned later.

The group stopped before an incredibly ordinary consultation room, befitting an incredibly ordinary surgical consult.

"All right, let's go inside," their teacher announced.

"Yes, Sensei," came the mumbled reply from the small group of tired interns. Ryousuke barely uttered a sound as he walked into the room beside Yoshida, getting out his pen and a small notebook once again for what he hoped would be the last time for today. He was tired, barely able to concentrate on the droning monologue of pre-op checks of vital signs, and markings with sharpies and discussions of the patient's chart. He jotted down a few notes when the anesthesiologist came in to address the patient and inform her about what to expect from the sedation and its after effects, but Ryousuke's mind was on the fact that he hadn't had one single word with his brother since Saturday night.

They passed like two ships in the night, and Keisuke stubbornly refused even to acknowledge a "good morning" or "good evening" when Ryousuke made the effort to greet him. It was absurdly immature, but Ryousuke allowed it, sensing that Keisuke was still trying to sort things out in his head. A few times, he almost thought Keisuke had wanted to approach him; vaguely apologetic words seemed to be teetering on the edge of his tongue, but no voice yet emerged to formulate them.

So Ryousuke went to work at the hospital, studied, went to classes, and back to work again. Sleep was overruled constantly by the assignments he was given in addition to completing the clinical reports. The third was almost complete, and thank goodness for that. Yoshida was already griping that he hadn't received Ryousuke's portion of it, and Ryousuke blew him off, telling him he'd get it this afternoon.

He also had heard nothing from Takumi, and it was killing him.

The only shining moment in the last two days had been a response to an email he had sent to an old contact of his in Tokyo who was with Hot Version magazine, regarding a potential venue for the Aces' debut. Tokyo would be a huge change from their usual battles on mountain passes, but he needed to get the Aces some true media exposure while they were still officially unsigned amateurs, which was always tricky since street racing was still very much illegal.

The usual courses around Tokyo were much more in line with Keisuke's skill set, his having been trained with the same methodology as drivers on the circuit. Finding a place in which Takumi could even do a true demonstration of his skills for the fans wasn't easy since the hachi-roku relied on steep slopes for its driver to achieve those astonishing results. With gravity an ally to the lightweight and still relatively underpowered car, Takumi was truly a downhill specialist, having an astonishing array of tools to use while in command of the hachi-roku on a mountain road. And that was assuming the car would even be done in time.

Toward the end of the Project, however, after the battles with Purple Shadow, Matsumoto had mentioned that Takumi was losing faith in his role as the Downhill Ace. The reason supposedly was the particular rule the opponent, the God of Foot, had suggested to Keisuke. It had made their battle a compound stage consisting of both an uphill and a downhill per round. Against Keisuke's most hated car model, the GTR, he had gone all out, and the battle was victoriously decided on the downhill, despite the fact that Keisuke was the Uphill Ace.

Matsumoto shared with him that Takumi had said that he was scared to see the all-out performance of Keisuke on the downhill, apparently afraid he was about to lose his value to the team. It was ridiculous. Ryousuke had said to people before that if the downhill was 100%, Keisuke's skill could cover 98% of it. However, that remaining 2% was the difference that made Takumi incredible. That was the mark of a true Downhill Specialist, that X factor that only the most special of drivers could have on any downhill. That was the Fujiwara Zone, that 2% unpredictability factor that would always mean he was essential to the team. He hoped Takumi had understood that in the end, and, if not, maybe returning the car to him could get the message across that he was definitely special and had always been necessary to the Project.

Even Takumi knew that his future would occasion him to be on tracks most of the time, so Ryousuke had taken that into consideration in his plans for reconstructing the car. Although his professional team would put him in their car for official races, Takumi would still be free to use a car of his choosing for any exhibitions he might participate in for the sponsors. Ryousuke had wanted for nothing more than to give him his own hachi-roku as an option for that.

But, the car was presenting some serious problems. The problems were detected only after they had it taken to a shop where they had been able to view the entire vehicle under intense magnification to learn about any potentially hazardous and unseen flaws.

The suspension was shot, that they knew. The clutch had completely disengaged, rendering the transmission assembly irreparable. They knew that too. However, there were a plethora of minor stress fractures on the whole of the body, especially, they discovered, at the mounting brackets of the crash bar, at all the major structural intersections, and along the running boards of each side. It was shocking and horrifying to see the condition of the old car that Takumi had been driving in that reckless crazy way. It bothered Ryousuke to no end that Takumi's car was one wrong nudge away from falling apart at the seams; and that the young driver was going all out in it all at his direction. He'd actually lost sleep over those awful structural cracks for days.

Also, Ryousuke was concerned that too much power from an engine, and maybe from a supercharger mod to help the car have more power for a circuit environment, might severely accelerate further damage to the structural integrity of the much older vehicle. The vehicle had been driven all out for the whole of its life, so if there was any chance at all that Takumi could even use it as his private vehicle, Ryousuke had to prioritize safety first and foremost or it would not be worth the time and money to fix.

Matsumoto had been providing him updates on it daily, but the fabricator was having some serious difficulty with assembling a custom 4AG engine for the small car that would have the output needed for what Ryousuke planned for the car's future purposes. Although the drivetrain was basically intact, everything else seemed to be crumbling around it; no matter how much money Ryousuke threw at it, something else was always coming up to cause additional necessary repairs.

Ryousuke didn't care how much it cost, but it was frustrating, especially since he wasn't there under the hood himself with Matsumoto and Tomiguchi to help. He wanted to turn the hachi-roku into basically into an ultimate drift exhibition car so Takumi could showcase that amazing drift that had unleashed shock and awe on just about everyone who saw it. Ryousuke thought it was fitting since, in his mind, the only thing more beautiful than the drifting he'd seen from that car was the beauty of the car's driver.

The reality was, that gorgeous driver's level had surpassed the car some time back, and, although Takumi was correct to accept it to prepare for a new vehicle beyond the hachi-roku, Ryousuke just could not bear for the car to be mothballed, especially since his own battle advice had played a part in the engine blow in that final battle. Takumi had asserted that it was his mistake alone, but Ryousuke couldn't let it rest. He wanted to give him back his car reinvented, not as a battle machine, but as a gift to the young Ace for agreeing to play his game.

Now, after spending such passionate moments with Takumi, the gift of the car also represented all the things he was starting to feel toward his Ace that he probably would never be able to say.

At least the email from Hot Version had given him an unexpected option for a course venue, an option that might allow him to hold off on the supercharger he was thinking about installing, at least for the debut. He was still weighing the pros and cons of that; he had to wait until the final structural assessments were complete with the engine alone before he could think of modding it out with a supercharger anyway.

He suddenly realized that he had not been listening to Sensei, and that was not a good thing. He definitely needed to have more than just a short nap today.

"So you see, students, it's always important to give the patient the chance to ask any final questions they may have before the surgery. In addition-"

Their sensei was interrupted by the buzzing of Ryousuke's cell phone in the pocket of his lab coat. He pulled it out. It was Takumi. 'Shit.' He was already getting a very stern look from his teacher and looks of surprise from his fellow interns. 'Oh well.'

"Excuse me," he said, bowing hurriedly as he turned toward the door. He thought Yoshida's jaw was going to drop, and he didn't need to look to know that Sensei was pissed. "Hello, Takumi. Give me a sec," he quietly answered the phone before it went to voicemail. Unfortunately, he had to cross the length of the room to make a less than quick exit to the corridor, and he could tell Yoshida heard who his phone call was from. Great. He knew he was probably in trouble with Sensei, and it was incredibly rude to have his phone on in the first place, but he didn't really care.

"Okay. I'm here. Hello," he said once he was out into the corridor.

"I'm sorry. You're still at work, I, uh, can call you back," Takumi stammered.

"No, that's all right," Ryousuke said. "I'm almost through for the day anyway." Hearing nothing on the other end he asked, "How are you?"

"Ryousuke-san..."

Ryousuke closed his eyes. 'Damn.' It was back to -san again, but Ryousuke wasn't going to correct him because he already had a good idea where this was going. There was a tightening in his chest that he wasn't accustomed to feeling, and he tried his best to push it aside to keep his voice even. "What is it, Takumi?"

"Ryousuke-san, you said that you wanted me to decide, and that you would...accept my decision about things, right?" The hesitant voice on the other end was barely audible, and Ryousuke had to strain to hear it over the hospital intercom and the hallway traffic.

"Yeah, I said that," Ryousuke responded, selfishly wishing he could take it back. This was not good; he wished he could breathe, and wished he couldn't hear.

"Then, oh, God, I'm so sorry, Ryousuke-san, but I...can't. I can't do this."

Ryousuke exhaled the breath he had been holding. He heard definite reluctance in Takumi's tone, but he said the one thing Ryousuke was hoping he wouldn't say. He had been sure that eventually Takumi would choose to be with him, as sure as he had been when he had invited him for Project D and gave him time to think it over. His body language, his demeanor, everything had been so similar: uncertain, but appearing to want to accept. 'What the hell happened, Takumi? Tell me, please,' he thought silently, the twisting that started in his chest now traveling to the pit of his stomach, and moisture was threatening to come into his eyes without the aid of eye drops.

"I will accept that, Takumi," Ryousuke began, barely finding his voice, and now leaning with his back to the wall. He was already exhausted, and now he felt completely drained, and overwhelmingly pathetic. "Can I ask you for your reasons?"

"My reasons…again," Takumi repeated.

"I need to know if I've done anything...that I need to apologize for," Ryousuke said quietly. Had he really ruined him after all?

"No!"

The volume surprised Ryousuke, shocking his eyes back open and causing his posture to straighten slightly. What the hell was going on here? Ryousuke now knew something had definitely happened to change what he thought would have been an eventual positive outcome into...this. He also found that he had a sneaking suspicion regarding who might have given an already unsure Takumi enough push to cause him to retreat.

"Then, please, tell me what happened," Ryousuke softly implored, hoping Takumi would answer.

"I, uh, I have to get to work, and you're at work, so, I should go-" Takumi seemed to be faltering over his words. Something happened, and he didn't want to say what it was.

"Wait. Don't hang up," Ryousuke directed, catching the eye of a couple of nurses as they walked past him. He turned and faced the wall instead. Hearing that the connection was still open, he continued, "Have you spoken with my brother?"

Silence, then a timid response. "Keisuke-san didn't...come to see me."

'Damn it, Keisuke!' Ryousuke thought to himself. If he didn't physically go to Akina, he probably called, sent a note, something. 'Shit.'

"Takumi-"

"I have to go."

"All right," Ryousuke replied, knowing Takumi probably wouldn't rat out Keisuke to him even if he _had_ gone up there. He'd find out for sure from Keisuke, or maybe it didn't make any difference. The damage was obviously done, and it was over, no matter how he looked at it anyway. "Very well," he said, recovering himself slightly with the realization that it was probably done for good. There wasn't time to absorb that right now, though he knew it would hit him hard, painfully hard, once he left the hospital and returned home. Thank God his shift was almost over; he wondered whether or not he'd even make it through the final moments of it.

"Forgive me, Ryousuke-san," Takumi almost whispered.

"There's nothing to forgive. Please don't say that."

"But-"

"No. I won't hear that."

"Okay..."

He thought he could hear Takumi struggling with his own breath a little, but he held the line open, and Ryousuke wished he could see him face to face. Right here, right now, there was nothing he could do but try to return to what Takumi knew him to be before: a mentor, a coach, and, hopefully, someone he considered to be a friend. This was so much worse than the realization that he was no more to Tsugumi than an elder cousin. Whether it was Tsugumi, Kaori, his parents, or even, and maybe especially, Keisuke, he always had to be something for someone. He chastised himself for daring to hope that with Takumi, he could just be himself. Was it time to just give up and choose one of those "nice girls" his Mother knew and make a "suitable match"? Maybe it really was.

"Ryousuke-san? Are you still there?"

"I'm here," he replied, pocketing the notebook and pen he didn't realize he was still holding. He raised his hand to his eyes, pulling at the sides of them with his thumb and second finger, channeling away the oddly insistent moisture his normally dry eyes started to produce. He suddenly wished that what happened with Takumi was only about the body after all, because encounters like that were easy to forget, and he knew this was going to be unforgettable. It would be unforgettable for what it was, and for what it would likely not ever be again.

"Okay," Takumi eked out. "I have to go. I'm at work now."

Ryousuke didn't even notice that Takumi was driving while on the phone. All he had noticed was the sound of Takumi's soft voice, the sound of his breathing, the words he said. 'You need me to be something else for you. Okay,' he finally thought. 'I will do it. I will _always_ wish I didn't have to with you, but I will do it.'

"Plan to meet Fumihiro as planned tomorrow at the garage so you can pick up the the data we've gathered for the prospective teams."

"Ryousuke-san?"

"You heard me."

"But-"

"Don't even think about not fulfilling your final obligations to Project D, Fujiwara. Until you are signed, you are still part of my team," Ryousuke said, playing the role of stern team leader. He might never share a bed with Takumi, with Fujiwara, again, but his place as one of the team's Aces who was about to go pro was not up for negotiation, and he needed to make Fujiwara understand that D still needed him until he'd signed on the dotted line. 'Who the hell am I kidding? _I_ need him...'

"Why?" came an eventual response from a voice that sounded almost on the verge of breaking.

"Because we're not finished. You still have to sign your contract, right?" Ryousuke said with a softer tone, feeling he might break at any second too. 'No. I was the leader of Project D, and he was the Downhill Ace of Project D. That is what he needs. Get it together, Takahashi!'

"You don't have to help me anymore, Ryousuke-san."

"No!" he said more sharply than he had intended. He took a breath and lowered his voice. "I don't have time to discuss this now. I will accept that you don't want to see me...outside of racing," Ryousuke said, trying to reassure Takumi that he was indeed willing to accept his decision even if he really wasn't. "However, resignation before your contract is signed is not something I will accept, nor will I approve of it. Project D was business. Do you understand, Fujiwara?"

"Yes."

"You'll come for the data as planned."

"Understood."

"Okay," Ryousuke said. They were back to mentor and mentored, and that's how it always should have stayed. He should have never allowed it to become something other than that. He shouldn't have lost control. "We will have a meeting a week from tomorrow to discuss our next steps. I'll have Fumihiro make the arrangements for the time. My expectation is that you will be there."

"All right, Ryousuke-san. I will be there."

"All right. I'll talk to you...then, I guess."

"Okay."

The connection was closed on way too many levels for Ryousuke to count. He took a breath, turned his phone completely off and returned to the consult where Sensei was still giving instructions.

"...so this concludes the entire consult, and now that Takahashi-kun has decided to _grace_ us with his presence once again," he paused, giving Ryousuke a terrible glare, expecting an apology to fill his pause.

"Forgive me, Sensei," Ryousuke said quietly, bowing deeply. "I am very sorry to have been a disruption to Yamada-san and the group. It won't happen again." He could hear the shocked intakes of breath from his classmates. 'Lovely.'

"I certainly hope not," Sensei snapped. "You are not a professional yet, and you do not have the luxury of stepping out at your convenience. Is that _clear_?!"

"It is. I am very sorry," Ryousuke repeated, raising himself. 'Wonderful,' he thought dryly, even though this was certainly expected. He had been rude after all. Oh well.

"You're lucky this was a consult room and not a room with monitoring equipment, or I'd be ill-disposed to accept your apology, Takahashi- _kun_. This hospital has an explicitly clear guideline on cell phones. I suggest you look it up. And _memorize_ it!"

"I will do that."

Sensei sighed for effect. "Yamada-san, I apologize for the rude behavior of this intern," he said calmly to the patient, who didn't even seem like she was listening, and she merely nodded in his direction.

"All right," Sensei began again, looking at his watch. "You're shift is over for today, and I technically can't force you to stay behind when it's not required. However, I will _highly recommend_ that you volunteer on your own to observe this surgery from the observation deck of theater 5 in a half hour. That is all. You're dismissed."

Several mumbled "Thank-you, Sensei"s were heard as their teacher made his way to the exit. Once Sensei was gone, and the orderlies had arrived for the patient, Ryousuke made a hasty exit and walked purposefully toward the nurses' station. He could hear someone hot on his heels as he reached the desk and began to sign out of the wing for the day.

"Takahashi-kun!" Yoshida called.

Ryousuke ignored him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he asked incredulously as he reached the nurses' station.

"What does it look like, Yoshida-kun? I'm going home," Ryousuke said tiredly.

"What?! Didn't you hear Sensei?"

"It's 'not required' for us to stay behind. That's what I heard."

"And he also said 'highly recommended'. You and I both know that means the same as 'you better have your butt in the chair'!"

"Semantics," Ryousuke snapped, heading for the nearest elevator and pushing the down button, frowning as the indicator showed that the lift was still several floors away.

"Aren't you the least bit worried he'll demerit you?"

"That's my problem, not yours," Ryousuke said plainly, trying not to become exasperated. "And, he can't demerit for anything after the shift is over anyway." He was in no mood for this. At all.

"Look. Takahashi-kun, Sensei will _ask_ me why you're not there!"

Thankfully, the elevator arrived. The doors parted and he got in, thankful again that it was empty. "Tell him I had a family emergency."

Unfortunately, Yoshida's persistence wouldn't let it go at that, and he barred the elevator door with his arm. "That is _the_ most vague BS excuse. You think Sensei will buy that? We get graded as a team too you know!"

"Let the door close, Yoshida-kun."

"You already got chewed out once today for taking that call from your love-" Yoshida caught himself just as Ryousuke quickly exited the elevator and immediately stood face to face with him, with a frigid glare in his eyes.

"Do _not_ complete that sentence!" he snapped again with a hot whisper.

Yoshida stepped back. He'd seen Ryousuke pissed off before, but not like this. 'Holy shit.' He took a deep breath, and he heard Ryousuke mutter an expletive as he missed the elevator and it had already been called away. "Sorry, Takahashi-kun, but I'm here to become a damn doctor," Yoshida whispered back. "I have no interest in keeping tabs on your social life, all right? But how's it going to look if you're not there with our group? Sensei will ask where you are, don't you get that?"

"Well, then since you seem to know so much about my God-damn _personal_ life, tell him whatever you want, I don't give a _shit_!" he spat and made his way to the stairwell.

Ryousuke left Yoshida standing in the corridor, not caring who heard what as he swiftly went down the three flights of stairs to the ground level, not bothering to visit the locker room to shed his lab coat. As he approached the main lobby he took out his cigarettes and lit one up before he even made it to the door.

A couple of volunteers shot up from their posts at the information booth as he passed.

"Sir! You can't smoke in here!" they shouted.

"Bite me," he replied, employing a phrase more commonly associated with Keisuke as he made it to the exit and to the outside where it was starting to rain. He entered the parking structure and found the FC in its usual spot. He got in and collected himself for a few minutes, trying to subdue all the feelings he was feeling, trying to replace his anger with calm, his grief with acceptance. Slowly, the familiar sensation of restraint began to return. There was no reason to feel anything anymore because what was done was done. As he started the car, the sadness had been held in check and the anger gave way to something even worse.

He felt...numb.

He put the car in gear and sped for home and sleep.


	23. Chapter 23

Takahashi Residence Tuesday, 8:17 AM.

Keisuke violently slapped the snooze button on his alarm clock for the third time, regretting that he had allowed Kenta to persuade him to drag himself out of bed at such an obscenely early hour. Kenta was getting some work done on his S14, and, naturally, he had wanted to bring the car in as soon as the shop opened. He'd asked Keisuke to pick him up from the garage since the car would be in for the day, and maybe into the next; in Keisuke's state of confusion and anger over the events of recent days, he apparently had agreed to run this stupid errand with Kenta without even having realized it. Now, the noise of the alarm clock was punishing him for being so generous, when all he wanted to do was stay in his room until Ryousuke returned, if only so he could slip out immediately after he shut the door to his own bedroom.

He had noticed the night before that the pane of glass he had broken was already repaired; Ryousuke wasted no time in restoring the door, and Keisuke wondered why his brother was conversely giving him so much time and space. Ryousuke had tried to greet him, and Keisuke purposely gave him the cold shoulder, not yet ready for his brother to launch into an explanation for something that Keisuke was sure had no suitable explanation at all. But Ryousuke didn't even insist that he listen, or talk anyway whether Keisuke was listening or not. That was atypical, and Keisuke was cursing him for it because the time spent alone with his thoughts was not helping to keep his anger burning hot the way he selfishly wanted it to be. Keisuke realized ruefully that it was probably by design; Ryousuke was truly a prick for making him think so much about all this crap.

Keisuke was starting to wonder if what he said to Fujiwara was overboard, knowing that it definitely took two for what occurred to have taken place. Ryousuke was as much, if not more, to blame for it. 'Yeah. I know it was a shitty thing to say,' he thought sulkily as the alarm clock buzzed again.

"Shut up already!" he shouted, picking up the small device, pulling it hard enough so that the cord came out of the wall, and chucking it across his bedroom where it landed soundlessly on a pile of laundry. He lay back down and felt incredibly guilty for the millionth time. He was the one who had told Ryousuke to live a little, to be selfish for once after all. He had wanted to see his brother happy, knowing that Ryousuke was about to give up so much in his life to meet the demands of their family. Did Fujiwara really make him that happy?

Keisuke had to admit that he knew Ryousuke was always interested in Fujiwara as a driver, and, having lost to him twice, it always annoyed him. He had been jealous of that for a while, thinking his brother spent way too much time thinking about that stupid hachi-roku then he did about the FD. How many times had he mentally asked his brother, "Aren't I the true Ace here?"

He'd made about as many silent mental challenges to Fujiwara too, challenging him to feast his eyes upon Project D's "real" Ace. "Watch and learn," he'd think before a battle, and then become frustrated when, in the end, he had to admit he might have learned as much from Fujiwara and that ugly little car as Fujiwara might have learned from him. He also had to admit that the young Akina driver had become a friend to him as well. He was finally beginning to buy into Ryousuke's opinion that they were a lot alike.

Even when Ryousuke had chosen Fujiwara over him for the battle against the professional driver the Todou School brought out for their rematch with D, his brother had assured him that he didn't think Fujiwara was better. It was a difference in style, that "Fujiwara Zone" he was always gushing about, that made the choice for him. Ryousuke wanted the win, and he thought their only chance would be to pit the crazy, unorthodox downhiller against a pro with the hopes that something unexpected could happen. When it came down to it, Fujiwara did not disappoint; he turned off his headlights and chased in the dark. Whenever Keisuke thought about that battle, only one word ever came to mind: psycho. When word came of his stunt via cell phones, Keisuke shared a meaningful look with Ryousuke that said everything. Fujiwara and that stupid little compact car were un-freaking real. And Keisuke had a ton appreciation for his rival's skill, but that alone was enough to drive him crazy. How could a kid like that make that crappy car do what it did?

Keisuke figured Ryousuke knew that car as well as he knew his own by now, at least from a mechanical standpoint, and that was incredibly irritating. He was still studying it too, and Keisuke had started to wonder if Ryousuke had something up his sleeve that he wasn't sharing. All he knew was that there was one more potential trip on the horizon, but Ryousuke had been silent on the details so far.

His brother had also become pretty good at understanding "Fujiwara speak", something Keisuke had only begun to decipher as their battles became more intense and the two Aces began resting together before their battles, separate from the remainder of the team. Fujiwara was a weirdo; he appeared so outwardly shy and reserved. When he did talk, he was always saying things that sounded a little off, but actually they were strong insights when you could examine them through the lens of the younger man's perceptions. Keisuke hated to admit how similar they could be at times; Keisuke was never really good at explaining things aloud either, no matter if he knew exactly what he was talking about in his head. Keisuke could understand better than anyone that words sometimes could fail a person, especially if you were the type of person who relied on the way things felt from behind the wheel. How many times had he heard Fujiwara say, "If I can see the line, I can make it. My car can make it." Keisuke often made his own choices based on the "feel" of the FD alone: the pressure of the G-force on his restraining harness, the grip of the tires, the response of the twin turbines of the powerful rotary engine, and the balance of the recent body modifications from the blister packing to the awesome new rear wing. These were the things that had spoken to Keisuke, and Fujiwara's hachi-roku apparently spoke to him the same way.

How many times had the mere mention of his name caused Keisuke to immediately see the pique of that interest cross his brother's eyes? When did it change from the admiration of Fujiwara's skill behind the wheel to physical attraction? Keisuke tried to think about whether or not it could have been long before Project D was ever an idea in his brother's head. He thought back to the time when Tsugumi had gotten him out of bed at an hour almost as obscene as this morning's wake up call from his alarm. After snarking a bit at the mess of his room, she told him to get his butt downstairs because Ryousuke wanted him to watch a video. When Keisuke sat down on the sofa, Ryousuke had the remote in hand, ready to cue up the tape of Fujiwara driving past Kenta in the rain. The video camera had been mounted on Kenta's car, and that was the main reason Ryousuke had gone along with Kenta's unexpected challenge to Fujiwara for a rain battle in the first place. On the phone before the battle, he had said something like, "I wonder if those two know what they're getting into," but Keisuke knew that his Aniki had zero interest in Kenta. Ryousuke wanted to see how Fujiwara would attack. Though he had been incredibly drowsy as he watched the video, Keisuke had to agree with Ryousuke's assessment: Fujiwara's driving was "A thing of beauty."

It really was.

Ryousuke also said, "That hachi-roku driver can join my team any time he wants." It was the first subtle mention that Ryousuke's Project D was in its embryonic stage, and that the young hachi-roku driver was someone Ryousuke wanted for it. In the year that followed, "that hachi-roku driver" became Fujiwara. And then, somewhere, somehow, Fujiwara became something much more important to his brother than even his artistic drift in the old Panda Trueno was to his team. Keisuke had no idea when it happened, but he supposed if he had known about his brother's preferences, he might have seen something in the times that Ryousuke spoke to Fujiwara, the times he touched him on the shoulder, the way his voice sounded when he spoke to him as he gave his instructions for battle. 'Oh God. I'm so stupid," Keisuke lamented to himself. Now that he knew about Ryousuke, he saw things in his brother's interactions with Fujiwara, and with Fujiwara's interactions with his brother that spoke to something underlying when he replayed them in his mind. It was a horrible realization, but one he really couldn't deny once he looked at it that way.

Was Fujiwara more than just a fling after all? Did Fujiwara really have some kind of crush on Ryousuke this whole time and not realize it? Was Ryousuke actually having feelings for him? All of these things were almost unbelievable to Keisuke. His brother wasn't ruled by his emotions like that; he was dignified restraint personified, wasn't he? Sure, he got angry with Keisuke, and he had a hot temper when something irked him. He got incredibly intense and competitive behind the wheel of the FC. But, normally, Ryousuke was as cool as they come, balancing all of his pressures and his leadership of D with expert planning and spot-on calculations. Keisuke couldn't imagine him factoring this kind of relationship with Fujiwara into things at all. He supposed that it truly was an unexpected thing as Ryousuke had tried to tell him.

Even so, Ryousuke had admitted that he had wanted it anyway, unexpected or not. Did that mean Fujiwara actually made the first move? He had to have, and so Keisuke was still sure that things were all Fujiwara's fault.

But Ryousuke had allowed it. He had wanted it, wanted...him. Keisuke knew that now, as bizarre as it was.

Keisuke rolled out of bed and headed to his bathroom to get ready to provide taxi service for Kenta. He turned on the shower and, though he didn't want to, he kept thinking.

Keisuke didn't care if Ryousuke was into guys; it was weird, but oh well. He'd known other guys who weren't straight; in fact, he'd known some very demonstrative guys who didn't give a shit who knew they were sleeping together. As long as they knew their place in the gang hierarchy, no one really looked twice if they suddenly decided to have a make out session in front of everyone else, and Keisuke usually just chuckled, and resumed drinking when things like that sometimes occurred. He also couldn't deny that he'd especially appreciate it if a couple of hot girls would suddenly decide to do the same thing, even if coke or sake or beer was the fuel for it. If he looked at it objectively, he supposed that Fujiwara was a good looking guy. Ryousuke wasn't bad himself, but it was too strange to think of his brother as an attractive guy, or of him doing _things_ , no matter how many girls could be heard screaming his name from the galleries whenever he showed up with the Red Suns. God, there were so many girls who would have spread their legs for him; it would have been easy for him to hook up with any one of them instead of secretly meeting with men when he should have known the problems it would create. Then again, his brother seemed to be above that kind of behavior, though, given what Fumihiro had said about his past affairs, Keisuke wasn't entirely sure about that anymore. Even Ryousuke's sex life seemed to exist merely for function alone with no emotional attachments to screw up what would surely be its eventual abandonment. But it was still totally creepy to think of his elder brother having a sex life of any kind at all, much less a secret life of sleeping with other men. Again, a feeling of compassion threatened to dispel Keisuke's jealousy, and he mused that Ryousuke's leanings were probably stronger toward men than perhaps he might ever fully admit to himself for him to take things that far.

Certainly, Keisuke thought, Ryousuke would not be the type to display his affection outwardly like some of the people he used to know in the past. Ryousuke was nothing if not guarded, and that was why it was so strange for him to just impulsively take someone, let alone Fujiwara, home to his bed.

'So maybe it really is something...more,' Keisuke relented to himself as he dried off from his shower and ran back to his room with a towel around his hips to dig for some clothes. 'And that means, I really screwed it up for him here. But I'm still pissed! What the hell are those two thinking? Shit.'

Keisuke had wanted to talk to his brother several times, but what could he say? "I'm sorry? I should have kept my mouth shut?" That's what he knew he should be saying, but he still wasn't ready to do that. He knew what he said about Ryousuke being the same as their old man was cruel and unnecessary, said only to be hurtful to his brother; Ryousuke really wasn't like the old man, and Keisuke knew that better than anyone. It was because of that very thing that Keisuke had grown to rely on his Aniki so much for everything. He really needed to stop doing that, but, until he could beat Fujiwara in a race somewhere, Keisuke felt that he'd always need his brother's advice, his presence, even his harsh admonitions and criticism.

Keisuke couldn't remember the last time he had gone for more than a day without a meaningful conversation with Ryousuke. It had been years: before Project D, before the Red Suns, before Keisuke had given up his place in the gang. And yet, he stubbornly refused all of his brother's attempts to make a connection. He should have said something when Ryousuke came into his room on Sunday afternoon, apparently thinking Keisuke was still asleep. Ryousuke apologized. He covered him with a blanket. He asked Keisuke not to be angry with him anymore.

He might as well have said "I love you," and Keisuke felt a pang in his heart that he had not acknowledged it. His brother rarely said affectionate things aloud, and Keisuke had to assume now that the reason was because he thought it was just too dangerous to do it, even if it was said only to his otouto. Keisuke made the decision to try to put his anger aside, and work through this without its tempting passion. It was harder to put it aside when it came to Fujiwara, but Keisuke knew he should. Fujiwara had every right to want to kick his ass for what he said about him, and Keisuke was sure their next meeting would be incredibly unpleasant. He didn't think Fujiwara would cause a scene in front of the team, but Keisuke wouldn't be surprised if the younger driver were to ask to meet later. He was just that tough, and Keisuke knew it, despite all the insulting insinuations he had made to Ryousuke about him.

He needed to remember that Ryousuke was his Aniki, and he always would be. He would try anyway, maybe, when Ryousuke was home later studying.

Keisuke nearly finished dressing, grabbed his keys, cigarettes, and phone, and made his way down the back stairs to the kitchen and to the garage. He was down the stairs, threading his arms through a t-shirt and halfway through the threshold of the kitchen door when he stopped in his tracks.

Shit.

Standing next to the counter was his Aniki, who was studying a rice ball like it had all the answers to the mysteries of the cosmos. He must have arrived while Keisuke was showering because the sound of the FC never reached his ears. Keisuke looked at him for a minute; he was still wearing his lab coat, something he never wore home. Never. Ryousuke always said home was supposed to be a sanctuary, and he called his professional garb a costume, something better left behind when he departed from work for the day. Keisuke had always been at a loss as to what he meant by that, but now, Keisuke thought he understood. To their old man, Ryousuke played the role of future doctor extraordinaire, and at home he played the role of, well, Aniki. He always had to be something for someone, and Keisuke felt guilty again that he also needed his brother to be that something which he had allowed Ryousuke to specifically design for him alone: his lifeline. He required him to be everything. Selfish.

The brothers stood in silence for dreadfully long seconds, neither one offering anything to the other. It was painful to Keisuke, and he knew he should say something to his beloved Aniki, but he simply couldn't. As he looked at Ryousuke, he was concerned; he looked exhausted, and not his normal tired either. Something was definitely wrong, so much so that he seemed utterly devastated. 'Did he lose a patient at the hospital?' Keisuke thought, thinking his brother's expression was more fitting for a funeral than for contemplation of an onigiri and a cup of coffee. It was a sight Keisuke had never seen before, a disturbing one for which Keisuke wasn't prepared. Even after his only loss ever, the loss on the downhill of Akina to Fujiwara, Ryousuke looked almost joyful. Here, now, Aniki looked astonishingly defeated.

"You're up early, for you," Ryousuke said quietly, at last, to his brother who had stopped at the doorway to the kitchen, as if trying to decide whether or not it was a good idea to actually enter.

Keisuke studied his brother's profile. His refined features, a near replica of their father's though not nearly as stern, were drawn and taut this morning, as if he was holding something back like a dam in front of a raging river. If it wasn't for the little swath of purple dye in his hair and for his relative youth compared to their old man's age, Ryousuke was a shocking dead ringer for their father in the stark white lab coat. Keisuke shook the comparison off. Ryousuke was still Ryousuke. Aniki was still Aniki. That was supposed to be Keisuke's new mantra, and he decided he should venture to live up to it.

"You're home early. For you," Keisuke carefully replied. He saw Ryousuke close his eyes, that subtle thing he usually did when contemplating something either very pleasant or very unpleasant. Keisuke needed neither his instinct or his knowledge of his brother to know that it was unpleasant today.

Ryousuke chuckled once. "Yeah. I guess I am."

Keisuke looked at the floor for a minute, having an unfounded hope that Ryousuke's demeanor would be somehow changed when he lifted his eyes again. But he wasn't stupid, and he knew it wouldn't be that way. He exhaled and looked up at his Aniki and, but for the fact that he spoke and was obviously drawing breath, Ryousuke was as still as a statue, his mug of coffee likely growing lukewarm as it remained untouched on the counter. The weight of this tableau was much too much for Keisuke to deal with, and maybe living his new mantra would be harder than he first thought. Perhaps it would be better simply to leave his brother alone.

"Well then, I'm going out for a while, Aniki."

Ryousuke did not respond. There was so much he wanted to say to his otouto, but he had no energy to badger him with questions that were probably already moot. Fujiwara had made his decision, and it was his choice, no matter if he had help from Keisuke. However, Ryousuke was incredibly upset, and he felt feelings he had never experienced before. The restraint that had come to his aid when he drove home from the hospital left him again in a way that was more profound than he ever loathed to expect. If he didn't know better, he might have thought he was having a heart attack or a stroke. Is this what happened to people when they allowed someone to get close then slip away? How did people survive like this? He had sworn that, after Kaori, he would never allow himself to feel this way again, and yet, here it was, like a cruel deja vu. He saw Keisuke finally move toward the garage, and he knew his otouto was still weighing everything heavily. It was time to tell him, to ease his mind, to play the role that Keisuke needed him to play and to push these cursed, illogical feelings back down to the place from which they never should have been allowed freedom.

"You don't have to worry anymore, Keisuke," Ryousuke softly said.

Keisuke froze, his hand on the knob of the door that led out to the garage. 'What the hell is he talking about?!' he thought wildly. Something told him to remain, and not to breathe. He did steal a glance in his brother's direction. Aniki had something to say, and his voice was as tender as it was when he had come into his room to cover him and keep him warm with the blanket, asking for his otouto to leave his anger behind. Its tone did not match his rigid stance as he stood at the counter, and it was horribly disconcerting. "Say it plainly. What do you mean, Aniki?" Keisuke asked, facing the door again and wishing he could simply push through it.

Ryousuke exhaled sharply, and Keisuke took in an equally sharp breath. He didn't have to look to feel what could only be described as utter sadness emanate from his brother. Just the sound of his exhalation alerted Keisuke that something definitely happened, something that he knew Ryousuke was going to share with him. Keisuke found that he was dreading whatever his brother was about to say.

"Whatever you said to him," Ryousuke began in a voice that the younger was shocked to hear was on the verge of breaking, "produced your desired outcome."

'Oh, God. Did Fujiwara tell him, or does he just know?!' Keisuke thought, in a panic. It was probably the latter.

He heard the elder inhale deliberately, a labored breath having a sound not ever before revealed to him, and he heard, too, the faint rustling of the lab coat. Keisuke imagined that Ryousuke had put his hand to his temple, or, perhaps, to the bridge of his nose, the subtle movements that Keisuke had come to understand as Ryousuke's reactions to stress and, apparently, sorrow. Keisuke turned a little to face his brother's back, and he saw that his right hand was indeed raised to the front of his face, though he couldn't exactly see where it was. He turned fully around, ready to take the heat because he knew for sure now that he had totally wrecked something that his brother had come to see as precious.

Suddenly, Ryousuke grabbed his coffee mug and walked quickly toward the door through which Keisuke had just entered. "Aniki, I-" he began, but couldn't finish. What could he say?

Ryousuke stopped at the threshold of the door, raising his left hand to the doorframe and leaning his head upon it as the coffee mug shook slightly from the minute trembling of his other hand. Keisuke stared wide eyed, not knowing if there was anything he could do, or should do. He had never seen Ryousuke this way, and it alarmed him into his own state of devastation.

"I haven't slept since Saturday," Ryousuke said at length, trying to put on a stern air that Keisuke could detect was false. "I'm planning on catching up on that this afternoon before my shift. Please don't wake me."

Before Keisuke could respond, if even he could, Ryousuke abruptly stiffened and took off for the stairs. A split second later, Keisuke followed after him, but the only thing he saw was the white lab coat as it followed its wearer to the top of the stairs with slipper-silent speed. He heard a door close and that was all.

Keisuke felt tears gather in his eyes, and they weren't the stinging tears of his anger. 'I fucked up. I'm...sorry, Aniki.'

Suddenly, the fact that he was jealous didn't matter. The fact that it was probably all Fujiwara's fault didn't matter either. He couldn't believe he'd nearly seen his brother break down, something he'd never dreamed he would see in his whole life.

Keisuke knew he had to grow up; his brother, only a scant two years his elder, was already living with the pain of their Father's mandate to do the same. Ryousuke was already sacrificing so much, and Keisuke felt like he was adding to it now in a way that hurt more deeply than Ryousuke's having to be the "favorite son" ever would.

He didn't know what he was going to do, but he knew what needed to be done. He needed to suck it up harder than he ever had before, and take back the things he said to Fujiwara. Maybe Fujiwara wouldn't kick his ass, but he wasn't really sure.

However, Keisuke knew that if Fujiwara decided to haul off and punch him, that he probably deserved it.


	24. Chapter 24

Fujiwara Tofu Shop 4:16 PM Tuesday.

Takumi pulled up to the front of the shop and sat for a moment in the Impreza. He didn't know how he managed to get home, or how he managed to get through the day at work. It seemed like a blur. He kept replaying the phone conversation with Ryousuke in his mind, and every time he thought about it, he wanted to cry, or maybe he just wanted to throw something really hard. Why couldn't Ryousuke just let him walk away? What was the big deal now anyway now that the battles were over? Why couldn't he let him disappear?

 _I wanted it to go back to the way things were. But it can't. I know it can't, no matter what Ryousuke says. Ryousuke-san, I mean. Ryousuke-san. Shit._

He thought Ryousuke sounded disappointed, maybe even hurt, but he wasn't sure. Takumi searched his memories of his mentor, trying to find another situation where he had heard him speak like that. He was shocked to realize that there had never been a situation like that, and the voice Takumi heard on the other end was a voice not ever heard before from the older man, not to him anyway.

 _I've disappointed him. Oh, God, what have I done? I never wanted to do that. Never. But I never thought I'd get as close to him as I did. How could I have ever thought something like this would happen? This is all my fault, and I need to forget it all right now! He'll leave, and he'll forget. He'll get married someday. He'll have his own family. Once that happens, he won't have time to spend watching me race. And definitely...not...that..._

He struggled to stop his body from being too honest as it began to respond immediately to only the passing memory of the time spent with Ryousuke.

 _Stop. It's done. Eventually, you won't see him anymore, not even with racing._

The thought made Takumi feel like racing might not be as thrilling if he knew Ryousuke wasn't watching his progress, watching his performance. His whole mindset with Project D was to win. For him. It was to make the dream Ryousuke was leaving in his Ace's care come true, to prove his precious theory. Of course, Takumi had his own desires to win, but whenever he didn't know what to do, he always thought of Ryousuke, and what his mentor wanted him to do. Gaining Ryousuke's praise had made every struggle worth it, every lesson learned precious.

 _I can still learn from him. I need to learn from him. Damn it all, who the hell am I kidding?! I almost couldn't get through the damn phone call without crying like some girl! I need to forget him!_

However, Ryousuke had made it clear that he still had obligations to D, and that Project D was "business". Takumi's resignation was not up for debate once he heard the voice he knew. It was the voice of the team leader, the one who had spent Lord only knew how much money and time on him. He wasn't allowed to resign before signing, and, somewhere, deep down, Takumi had to admit he knew that Ryousuke would react that way.

The guilt he often felt when he considered how burdensome he had been on Ryousuke's wallet washed over him again. Takumi immediately felt selfish for wanting to run away. He at least needed to see it through until he "signed on the dotted line" as Ryousuke had put it once.

He would finish it. And, he thought, feeling the heat of anger come to his face, he'd finish Keisuke. The flames of his rivalry with his teammate had been smoldering for a long time, and now it was as if Keisuke had created a monstrous gale to fan them. Takumi didn't like the insult his rival made, and he hated how much he let it hurt him even more. He knew Keisuke was his ultimate target, and that he was Keisuke's. Now there was no reason to delude himself that Keisuke was some kind of friend. There was no reason not to go all out when the time came for them to race against each other in the pros. No doubt there would be many times to kick his ass on the circuit.

That time would be upon him soon as well, because D was over, and they would decide what teams they would race for. Takumi instinctively gripped the steering wheel of the stationary Impreza a bit more firmly at the thought.

 _I will beat him again. My record is 2-0 over him already!_

With that mental pronouncement made, Takumi opened the door, got out of the car, and made his way toward the shop. He had received another text from Mika-chan during his lunch break; this time, he had answered it definitively. He was going to Saitama tonight to have dinner with her, and hopefully to remember who he was, and to forget the fact that he had enjoyed sleeping with another man.

 _That_ man.

 _There is definitely something wrong with me. I need to fix it. It may be "normal" for him, but it's not for me. I need to get over this. If I don't, if I kept seeing him, maybe I really am some kind of whore. Ending it was the right thing to do. Why the hell do I feel so shitty about it?!_

He entered the shop, not bothering to call out that he was home. He looked around for the phone book his dad kept on the shelf, wondering if, among the countless phone numbers of bars in Gunma and its neighboring prefectures, there might be an address for a hotel in Saitama. Takumi decided that if he had to wait for Mika-chan, he'd probably have to wait forever. He was a man, wasn't he? He wasn't some kind of lovesick girl. This time, he'd make the decision. Mika-chan was always telling him to call her only by her name, and he'd always thought that was pretty forward, especially since she was younger by a year. Shouldn't he take that as permission? He'd find out. She was his girlfriend after all, wasn't she?

Maybe just seeing her would remind him that he was straight. Mika-chan was hot, athletic, adorable. What was not to like about that? Love at first sight, right? Takumi figured any normal guy his age would be jealous, his friends certainly were.

 _What happened with Ryousuke-san should never have happened. It won't happen again. I wasn't thinking. I'm not into guys. I'm not. Shit! Why the hell did I do all that stuff with him?! Why do I like him like that? No. I don't like him like that. I'm just a pervert. Once you go out with Mika-chan, everything will be fine_.

Takumi leafed through the small phone book from the first page to the last, having no luck finding any address for a hotel in Saitama. Unfortunately, there were only two hotels he knew of personally, and neither of them would do since they were both associated with Mogi. Takumi knew he wasn't about to go to either of those places: the first, the hotel he saw Mogi leaving with her sugar daddy, and the other the one she recommended they go to together.

 _Why am I so stupid all the time? It's so embarrassing going to those kinds of places, but, since I don't have my own place...I'd be more comfortable if I had an apartment like... No. Stop thinking._

Takumi abandoned his father's address book and rifled once again through the shelf for the thick book from the phone company. He pulled it out and dusted it off, fully focused on his purpose and failing to notice his father standing at the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, watching his son's every move.

 _Great. This thing is like five years old already. Shitty old man! Why don't we have a new one? Oh well._

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Idiot?" Bunta drawled, causing his son to jump with surprise.

"Nothing," Takumi replied dryly, scowling.

"How about an 'I'm back,' then?"

" _Tadaima._ Happy, Old Man?" Takumi grumbled dispassionately. Truly, he had no real reason to be rude to his father today, but everything about this day had been wrong so far, and saying the traditional announcement of his return home was pretty low on Takumi's list of priorities. He needed to concentrate on putting himself together, and, hopefully, getting Mika-chan to go along would make everything okay again.

"You're being a little shit lately, Takumi."

"I'm the same as ever, aren't I?" Takumi responded half-heartedly.

"Hmm, welcome back, then," Bunta replied, his tone non-committal.

 _What's with Dad today? He usually doesn't come right out and say things like that. Oh well. I'm a "little shit". Fine. Whatever._

Bunta studied his son as he sifted through the pages of an ancient phone book; there was definitely something wrong. He'd spent the last several days moping around the house being a total punk, and Bunta wondered what had happened. When Takumi had come home last Saturday afternoon, he was sure that something had gone on between his son and the elder Takahashi. Although he wasn't crazy about the idea, his son was grown and could choose for himself. And, though Takumi was appropriately embarrassed, he seemed content.

But, in the intervening few days there had been some kind of change. 'If that rich boy has done something to hurt my son, I'll kill him,' he thought.

However, as he watched Takumi become frustrated as he apparently couldn't find what he was looking for, Bunta reconsidered. Something was amiss, that was for sure; maybe the two brats had some kind of misunderstanding. He was pretty sure his son wasn't completely naive, but he _was_ an idiot after all, and Bunta ruefully thought that it was probably his fault anyway that his son was so socially inept. It wasn't as though he could really help if it was _that_ kind of relationship, though. Why the kid would try this kind of thing was beyond him, but Bunta knew that this Takahashi Ryousuke was really an important person to Takumi, so he wasn't as bothered by it as he thought he'd be. It's not like Takumi was traveling to Shinjuku Ni-Choume in Tokyo on weekends or something, and, it didn't seem that the Takahashi was the type for that either.

'Yeah right,' Bunta thought, 'Takumi's never even been to Tokyo other than a school field trip.' There was no way his son would be out trolling the gay district of Tokyo. The kid probably didn't even know there was such a thing as a "gay district" in the first place. Bunta wasn't even sure if his son was gay; probably Takumi wasn't really sure either. As he watched his son pore over the phone book, he remembered a time in his younger days when he happened upon the wrong kind of bar purely by accident. At the time, he'd been kicked out of every bar in town, and it was the only one left, so it was good enough. He was too drunk to really care about the fact that it was a men's bar; the liquor still tasted the same. Somehow, he didn't think Takumi had fallen into things in quite that way, so Bunta realized that his son probably had some latent feelings for the guy who had been his racing mentor for the last year.

It was strange, but it was his son's business. Once Takumi had joined this "Project D", Bunta realized that the kid was getting truly serious about racing, and he had to admit that whatever mentorship the elder Takahashi provided to his son, he couldn't argue with the outstanding results. Not to mention, the money the guy must have shelled out for all the mods to the hachi-roku and all the new sets of tires must have been astonishing. Bunta wondered if Takumi truly realized how good he had it that he could have a sponsor like that, a person who probably had enough money to blow in a week than the tofu shop made in a month.

Takumi probably did realize it, and he was probably freaking out that someone like that would give him attention at all. So, if Takahashi Ryousuke gave him _extra_ attention...maybe Takumi was just flattered, or, perhaps, it filled a void in the life of his son of which Bunta was previously unaware. Who knew?

However, when it became apparent to him that Project D was the real deal, a true expeditionary team of a near professional order, Bunta had found that he was curious about its leader. To that end, he had done enough independent investigating about this Takahashi Ryousuke to know that the kid was very smart, an excellent racer in his own right, a future doctor, and that his family owned the largest hospital conglomerate in the Gunma Prefecture, and that they owned several other clinics in Gunma and other prefectures besides. As the elder, Bunta assumed, Ryousuke stood to inherit everything. And he was _fancy,_ Bunta thought, chuckling inwardly. Takumi sure knew how to pick them, he supposed.

But Bunta wasn't an idiot, and he'd had a lot more time in this world than did his son and Takahashi Ryousuke both. Things were different for a kid from an elite family; there had to be expectations, and Bunta wondered if that's why the elder Takahashi was giving up racing himself in favor of mentoring Takumi and that younger brother of his who drove the FD. If it wasn't a fling, and it was more than that, those two would probably have it rough when it came to Takahashi senior. Of that, Bunta had no doubt.

He stared at Takumi, seeing that the boy was becoming irritated by it.

 _Why the hell are you just standing there, old man? Don't you have a newspaper to read or something? If you're going to say something, say it. If not, then go away!_

Takumi was still looking through listings, trying to be nonchalant, but failing miserably.

'Idiot. What are you up to?' Bunta silently asked his son, knowing that Takumi was likely silently griping at him in his head, probably calling him "shitty old man" or "idiot old man."

 _Damn it. I can't find anything in here with him staring at me. And he's standing in the doorway so I can't go up to my room. Shitty old man. Why are you suddenly so damn interested in my life?! But I can't be too rude. I need to ask him to make the deliveries in the morning...shit._

Though his friend Yuuichi had talked him out of it when he first mentioned it over too many tokkuri of sake, Bunta was seriously thinking that his idea of hiring Takumi a stripper for his twentieth birthday might be the best thing for the kid after all. However, if Takumi ended up being happy with Takahashi Ryousuke, it probably wouldn't matter how many girls paraded themselves in front of him.

'You've really done it to yourself now, kid. So what are you going to do about it?'

He surreptitiously glanced at the phone book. Takumi was looking for something in Saitama. What the hell was that stupid kid doing anyway? Why the hell did it seem like it was so urgent?

Maybe it was normal for a kid to question his preferences from time to time, even though Bunta never had himself. Perhaps he should have read a couple of parenting books somewhere along the line, but Bunta knew he wasn't really cut out for that. His parenting philosophy was geared more toward letting Takumi screw up on his own and fix it on his own. But Bunta always had kind of a sixth sense when it came to his son, and he knew that he might actually have to parent him for a bit in this situation.

'Shit, Takumi. What the hell have you gotten yourself into this time?'

He continued to look at his son. He had grown into an attractive kid, Bunta supposed. Perhaps even other men would think so. 'Ah. Who the hell am I kidding? Of course he is. He looks exactly like his mother...Shit. I need a drink.'

Maybe he could find out exactly what was going on by bothering the kid a little.

"If you're looking for a phone number, just call information," Bunta offered.

"I don't want to pay the fee for that," Takumi snapped.

"Hmpf. I guess I should be happy that you're as cheap a bastard as me," Bunta responded, settling in to his normal spot and lighting up a cigarette. Takumi continued to stare at his father. "You want to talk about something, Takumi?"

"No."

"Hmpf," Bunta repeated, picking up his newspaper and flipping on the television.

"I'm taking the phone book up to my room, Dad," Takumi announced, trying not to sound as exasperated as he felt.

"What's wrong with looking at it here?"

"Everything," Takumi replied, going upstairs in a huff.

Bunta wasn't satisfied. He rose from his place on the floor and took a drag of his cigarette before going upstairs toward Takumi's room. It sounded like Takumi was on his phone, so Bunta shamelessly eavesdropped. It was his house after all, and he had the right to know what the hell was turning his son into some brooding punk. From the casual tone Takumi was using, he was probably talking to that Itsuki kid.

"Yes. I'm serious. Is that a problem for you, Itsuki?" Bunta overheard his son ask, confirming his suspicions as to whom was on the other end of the call.

"Shut up and just tell me if you know of one in Saitama...I'm asking because you were going to go to one with Kazumi-chan, weren't you?...Oh...I already told you!...Forget that ever happened, okay?!...I'm with Mika-chan, I've _been_ dating her, and that's all you need to know."

Bunta heard enough; it seemed that Takumi was desperately looking to find a place to spend the night in Saitama. Bunta thought he'd be relieved that Takumi was going out with his little girlfriend, but that nagging sixth sense told him something wasn't right about it. It seemed a little too sudden; he overheard Takumi tell his friend to "forget that ever happened", and Bunta assumed "that" referred to his weekend with the Takahashi. For someone who was planning a romantic night with his girlfriend, Takumi surely didn't seem happy about it. He seemed angry, and anxious. Bunta returned downstairs just in time to hear Takumi go into the bathroom for a shower.

"Damn brats," he muttered to himself, "all of them. I'm too old for this crap. Giving me a god-damn headache."

He poured himself some sake and waited for Takumi to come downstairs. A short while later, Takumi's approaching footfalls could be heard coming back toward the main room. Bunta glanced at Takumi; he looked pretty casual for a kid who was about to ask his girlfriend to spend the night with him.

"You going out tonight?" Bunta asked.

"Yeah."

"Where to?"

Takumi frowned. "Saitama. I have a date with my girlfriend, if you must know."

"Oh? Your...girlfriend. Hmm."

"Yeah. Isn't it _normal_ for a guy my age to have a girlfriend, Old Man?" Takumi retorted, exasperated.

"If you say so. That's nice." So that's what it was. Takumi was out to prove he was "normal."

 _Eh? Whatever. I need to ask him. Crap._

Bunta read the paper, knowing that Takumi was gearing up to ask him the question.

"Uh, Dad...?" Takumi finally ventured after about a minute of staring at his father.

"What do you want now?"

"Dad, do you think you could do the delivery tomorrow morning?"

Silence.

 _Shit. Please say you'll do it! You were so quick to offer last week! What the hell is going on here?!_

"Dad?"

"What."

Takumi exhaled, placing the palms of his hands together and bowing his head. "Dad, will you please do the delivery for me tomorrow morning? I'll pick you up from the bar both nights next weekend if you do it!"

Bunta put the paper down and took a swig of sake from the ceramic ochoko in his hand. The kid was begging. He wondered if what he was about to do was the right thing to do, but his instinct was telling him it was.

"No."

"What?!"

"You heard me, Dummy."

"But, Dad!"

"You better be back on time for it, too. I've already started in on this bottle, and I might have another one, so you'll definitely need to deliver the damn tofu. Too bad, kid."

 _Shit. Well, it can't be helped then. Mika-chan knows I have deliveries in the morning, so maybe she'll be cool with it if I just leave and go back right after. It's fine._

"Fine," Takumi replied curtly. "Whatever. I'll be back, but don't expect me much before the delivery."

"Okay."

Takumi reached for the Impreza keys and was heading out the door.

"I hope you remember that Mika-chan is a _good girl_ ," Bunta called out.

Takumi froze.

"And I know I'm not your dream father, but I sure as hell didn't raise you to be a dick toward girls."

Takumi felt his cheeks heat. He knew it was disrespectful not to face his father while he spoke, but he didn't care. This was ridiculous. Since when did his dad decide to parent anyway?

"You better remember that, you Idiot, before you do something stupid."

"Whatever, Old Man. I'm out of here."

* * *

Johnson's Restaurant, Saitama Prefecture 7:16 PM

"Ne, Takumi-kun?"

"Huh? Oh. Sorry, Mika-chan."

 _I'm not listening to her at all. I'm totally messed up here. She's so cute. And she's so cool and fun. Why can't I stop thinking about him instead?!_

"Takumi-kun," Mika asked softly, finishing the last of her dessert, "is there something wrong? You haven't said more than two words to me since you got here. Are you okay?"

 _No. I'm not okay. I slept with a guy last weekend and now I want to sleep with you to get over it. I'm a jerk._

"Sure I am," Takumi replied, trying to sound more cheerful than he felt. "I just have a lot on my mind lately. Sorry."

"Oh. But you are done with racing expeditions now aren't you? Shouldn't you be more relaxed?" Mika asked, and it appeared that she was genuinely concerned. Maybe this could be okay after all.

"I guess."

Takumi took a long look at his girlfriend as they sat together at what was becoming their "regular table". She was petite, but not skinny. She was athletic, fun, and she was wearing the cutest little golf shirt and a pair of shorts. What normal red-blooded guy wouldn't want to have that sitting across from him? And that was just her looks. She was so friendly, a bit forward, but Takumi liked that about her after all. Mika was an elite athlete, and they had much in common with how they were raised by their respective fathers. It was so sickeningly perfect that it was like something out of a television drama as Kenji-senpai was often wont to say.

If it was so perfect, then why could Takumi not keep from thinking about Ryousuke instead? He didn't understand it, and he wanted to be done with it.

 _That's it. I'm going for it. We're done eating, and I can't just sit here spacing out like this._

"Well, Mika-chan, uh, do you want to go for a drive or something?"

"Sure!" Mika excitedly replied, happy that her boyfriend was finally showing some signs of life. "Where to?"

"Uh, well, I don't know. Maybe just...around."

 _So lame!_

"That sounds good, Takumi-kun. I like driving with you."

"Okay, then. Let's go."

Takumi paid for their dinner, and they made their way toward the exit.

 _I paid for our meal. When I went out with Ryousuke he paid like I was the girl. I'm not a girl._

"Mika-chan, can I, uh, well..." Takumi stammered.

"What?" Mika asked, perplexed. "Takumi-kun, you're really strange today. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"I just want to hold your hand while we walk to the car," Takumi blurted out.

 _Am I twelve?!_

Mika's eyes grew wide, she blushed a little, and she stopped in her tracks. "R-really, Takumi-kun?"

 _Okay. Good. Hand holding is good. I wouldn't be holding Ryousuke's hand in public, because that's just weird. But it's not weird for me to hold Mika-chan's hand, so, even though I kind of don't want to, it would be okay because I'm a guy and she's a girl._

"Yeah. Is it okay, Mika-chan?"

"Takumi-kun," Mika replied cutely, "we've been hanging out for a couple of months, haven't we? I think we can hold hands. And, you keep forgetting that I want you to call me only by my name. I told you. I've always wanted to hear only my name from the boy I like."

"Okay," Takumi responded, swallowing hard, "Mika. Let me hold your hand."

He outstretched his hand and Mika joined it with her own. Her hand was so small that his palm completely covered it.

 _Her hand is warm. It's soft too, but I actually think Ryousuke's was softer...the hell?! Stop! She has calluses from golf. Even though she wears gloves, it can't be helped. Stop thinking about touching his hands, or his hands touching you! Am I going crazy?_

They walked around to the passenger side of the Impreza and Takumi helped Mika into her seat. He had left early for their date and had actually managed to find a hotel by the highway. Now, he just had to ask the big question, and he hoped that Mika would accept.

He got into the car. It was probably too abrupt to simply drive to the hotel, so he tried to mentally remember the locations of the courses he had been to in Saitama with Project D so that he could spend an appropriate amount of time driving and maybe carrying on a conversation. He'd have to be mindful of the time since he had to get back, and Mika had also made him aware that since it was a weeknight, her father didn't want her out too late either.

Timing was everything.

Takumi started the engine, his palms sweaty and his heart racing.

"Takumi-kun, where are we going to go for a drive?"

"I thought I might re-visit one of the courses here I battled on before."

"Really?! That's cool! Will you show me how you drove it that time?" Mika asked, her eyes lighting up with delight.

"Uh, I don't think we can do that. It's kind of early in the evening, so there will probably be other cars around. And, this is Dad's car that I'm borrowing."

"Oh," Mika said dejectedly. "Well, maybe I can come the next time you race in Saitama then."

"I'm pretty sure we won't be racing in Saitama anymore,...Mika. I think we have maybe one more trip planned, but I haven't heard anything about what it's for since we finished everything in Kanagawa."

Mika had a thoughtful expression. "Hmm. I guess what you did is different, then, from my tournaments after all."

"Oh?" Takumi asked, happy that he was finally becoming more at ease with Mika in the car.

 _I can do this. I do like her after all. She's so easy to talk to, and she's cute._

"Yeah, I mean, I know pretty far in advance what tournaments are coming, since you have to plan around them. Once the season opens and they announce the dates, I plan my schedule according to that, and I also gear my practice toward the different courses. I often have several days, sometimes several weeks, to prepare my attack for the next course."

"I suppose that's true," Takumi supplied, finally recognizing where he was going. He might be an excellent driver, but he was usually clueless about directions. The last time he was here, he only had to follow the obnoxiously bright yellow FD to find his way.

"I've gotta say, that coach of yours was quite a slave driver to expect you guys to prepare in one night for a new course," Mika observed.

"We watch course videos beforehand," Takumi replied after a few seconds. He certainly didn't want to get involved in a discussion of his "coach" with his girlfriend. No.

"But it's not the same as driving it, is it?"

"No, but that's just how we did things."

"I tell you. Your coach is _tough_. That's totally demanding! I don't know how you managed to put up with it all that time."

Takumi could feel his cheeks grow warm. "I don't 'put up' with Ryousuke," he whispered, his voice barely audible over the engine noise of the Imp. "I'm...thankful for him."

"Eh? I didn't hear what you said, Takumi-kun..."

"Uh, it's nothing. Nothing, really. Well, here we are. This is the course."

They traveled up the winding slope where he had achieved the win against Akiyama Wataru's cousin Nobuhiko. It was the battle in which Ryousuke had told him to let Nobuhiko keep up until the first corner; he was to go all out afterward, and Takumi didn't even see the Altezza in his rearview mirror once after that. Keisuke's battle in that race had actually been much harder than his; that cute girl who drove the black FD was pretty good after all.

 _Stop thinking about Project D. This is not what you need to be thinking about! I need to hurry up and move this crap along so I can forget about how much of a weirdo I am!_

The pair finally reached the parking area at the summit of the course and, despite the relatively early hour, there weren't but two or three cars in the lot. "Well, here's the starting point, Mika."

"Can we get out? I want to stand at the starting line just once since I was never able to come and see you race. Please?"

"Sure."

They got out of the car, and Mika started jogging toward the road.

 _She's got such a nice body. She's so cute, and her hair is pretty. I definitely want her, so it's cool. What a relief. I really like girls after all._

"What kind of car did you race here, Takumi-kun?"

"It was an Altezza. It was a nice car, I guess," Takumi replied, coming to Mika's side.

"Cool," Mika affirmed. A light breeze passed by and some stray strands of hair blew in front of Mika's face. She brushed them back behind her ear, and Takumi caught himself staring at her face, but not before Mika caught him too. "Takumi-kun? What is it? You really seem strange today after all."

"It's nothing," he lied.

Suddenly, Mika took a big step backward, and her face grew flushed. "Are you...seeing someone else?!" she shouted.

 _What is this shit? Some kind of women's intuition or something? Am I that obvious? Fix it. Quick!_

"What?!" Takumi exclaimed," Where on earth did you get that idea, Mika?!"

Before he knew it, Mika was babbling about how strange he was, how quiet he was, even for him, how many texts he had barely responded to for the last few days, and how she felt like she still hadn't even seen any part of his world. Takumi closed the distance between them, and put his hands firmly on Mika's upper arms.

"Mika, be quiet," he said softly.

"Takumi-kun, I-"

 _Do it now._

Takumi pressed his lips against Mika's, but before he could even feel anything, Mika pulled away, cheeks flushed, a hand coming up to her mouth. "Takumi-kun...you...surprised me," she whispered.

"I want to kiss you," Takumi implored, venturing to take Mika's hand and pull it down from her mouth and into his own grasp.

 _Don't go getting all modest over a little peck like that! I really need to do this!_

"O-okay," Mika stammered, "but maybe someone might see..."

"There's no one here. And, even if there were, isn't it normal for a guy to want to kiss his girlfriend?"

Mika looked at him with pure shock and delight in her eyes. Takumi should have been elated that such a cute girl would look at him like that, but, instead, a terrible feeling of guilt began to come over him. He wondered just how horrible a person he was becoming.

 _No. I'm doing this, damn it! Mika is my girlfriend. Ryousuke is...he's...someone I need to get the hell out of my head! He himself told me I should still date Mika-chan...but...I don't know if he really meant it. Wait. What?!_

"Okay, Takumi-kun. I, uh," Mika stammered, "really have wanted you to kiss me for a long time."

 _Yes!_

"That's good, Mika," Takumi replied softly, moving closer to her and taking both of her hands in his. "Because I really need to kiss you right now. Let me."

 _"Let me." That's what Ryousuke said to me before he... Oh God, Mika is right here! Just kiss her, you idiot, and stop thinking about him for half a damn second!_

"Takumi-kun..."

Takumi leaned in and his lips met with Mika's. He felt his cheeks grow warm, and his heart started pumping wildly. These were all positive signs, he thought, but the kiss was still chaste and Takumi wondered why he felt...

 _Sticky? Oh. She's wearing...lip gloss. That's okay. Girls usually wear lipstick or lip gloss. It's a good sticky. I guess._

Takumi instinctively opened his mouth a little, and trailed his tongue over Mika's closed lips.

 _Strawberry. She tastes like a strawberry. I like strawberries, but this is strawberry-ish, not like a real strawberry. Ryousuke tasted like...mints and tobacco...NO! I like strawberries after all. I love strawberries._

Mika suddenly pulled away and turned her back to him.

"Mika-"

"Takumi-kun! That's...I mean...that's not the kind of kiss you should try in public, is it?!" she shouted.

"Huh?"

 _Crap! Why did she object to that? I didn't even really try to get inside her mouth yet! Wait...think fast. It's okay._

"Then, uh, Mika. Let's get in the car. You won't have to worry about people seeing us..."

"Takumi-kun?"

"What?"

"Is that really how you want to kiss me?"

 _Duh. I'm your damn boyfriend! We've been dating for months, haven't we? How long are you planning on making me wait around here? I kissed Ryousuke once, and ended up sleeping with him. There was no need to wait! So you shouldn't make me wait either! Shit! Let me kiss you for real so I can forget all that!_

"Yeah. I want to kiss you that way. You don't want to?" Takumi ventured to ask.

"N-no. It's not like that..."

"Then, get into the car," Takumi implored, taking Mika's hand. He felt a slight hesitation from the girl. Where was that bold chick who slapped him across the face when she mistakenly thought he'd dumped her friend? Where was the brazen girl who wanted to be called by only her name, the one who wore a barely-there bikini for a whole damn day at the beach?

Mika nodded and allowed Takumi to lead her back to the Impreza. There was one fewer car in the lot than there had been moments before, and Takumi hoped that Mika would relax more around him. She was acting really unsure of herself, and Takumi had never seen this side of her before. He desperately wanted the confidence she usually had to come back, because he needed her to make up for the confidence he didn't really have himself.

 _It's like how I am when he's around, the way she is right now..._

He opened the door and Mika got in. He went over to the driver's side and slid in behind the wheel, turning a little to face his girlfriend.

"Is this better, Mika?" Takumi asked, putting his hand on hers.

"I think so."

"Good."

He shifted in his seat, moving the seat back a little. He took her chin in his hand.

"Mika, kiss me."

Mika turned her head, and Takumi pressed his lips onto her strawberry-sticky mouth again.

 _Just do it._

He opened his mouth, and trailed his tongue over her lips, pushing slightly. Mika opened her mouth a little, and he tentatively reached inside searching gently for her tongue. When he found it, he only brushed it once before Mika snapped her mouth shut again and pulled away.

"What's wrong, Mika?"

 _Are you seriously trying to play hard to get here? What's the big deal?_

"Nothing, Takumi-kun...It's just...I've..."

"What?"

"I've never been kissed like that before!" she exclaimed, cheeks flaming and her body shaking.

For once, Takumi thought, it looked like he was the one who was the more experienced. The thought should have been incredibly exciting, yet, it wasn't. Without realizing it, Mika was putting an incredible amount of pressure on him, pressure that was totally different from that which he felt with Mogi and with Ryousuke. Takumi realized that he was normally the one who was clueless, and he should be jumping at the chance to take the lead for once.

 _Crap! Why is it I want her to be more assertive? I should be loving this! Even with him, there were times I initiated…things...I am totally messed up. Just get it over with, and take charge here!_

"Do you want to stop, then?"

Mika turned away for a minute, and Takumi could see his chances of getting her to the hotel going out the window faster than the speed of light.

"No," came the whispered reply.

Relieved, Takumi reached for her hand once again. "Then, come here."

Mika turned her head again, but she was putting on a display of demure modesty that Takumi found he didn't like. She seemed almost unwilling, and that made him feel uncomfortable, no matter how much he wanted to take her whole body.

He raised her head with his hands, and ran his fingers through her hair. It was soft, and smelled vaguely of something floral. It was completely feminine, and he liked it. Mika closed her eyes when he touched her, and Takumi pushed his discomfort aside and took the chance.

He drew her head to his own, and kissed her, not waiting before parting her lips with his tongue, the strawberry taste sickly sweet, and a little annoying. Takumi wondered how long he would have to kiss her before all that damn lip gloss was gone. As he explored Mika's mouth with his tongue, the girl responded tentatively with her own, and Takumi could tell she was trembling.

He pulled back, and he saw that Mika was blushing and breathing hard. She looked cute that way, and Takumi's confidence got a little boost because, though she was modest about things, it seemed that Mika definitely liked the kiss.

Takumi did too.

"Takumi-kun, you're the only boy I've ever kissed..."

"That's okay..."

"But, I can tell that...you've kissed before..."

 _Danger! Don't say something stupid here!_

"I really, uh, haven't...that much," he stammered. It was the truth; Mika made only the third person he had ever kissed. Of course, he had kissed Ryousuke the most...

 _Shit!_

"I want to know how many people you've kissed before, Takumi-kun!" Mika suddenly demanded to know.

"Eh?! Why?!" Takumi retorted, his face growing flushed, and his mind involuntarily traveling to Ryousuke and not Mogi.

"B-because...I need to know how to do it better, so I need to know who I'm in competition with!"

"What?!"

Mika immediately clasped her hand to her mouth. "I-I'm sorry, Takumi-kun! I mean, I, uh, I just...need to know who taught you to kiss like that...because I just...I mean, it was...more than I expected..."

"More?"

 _What the hell is she talking about? Why is she so upset all of a sudden? What does she mean she wants to know who taught me?! I'm not telling you anything like that, Mika! I'm definitely NOT telling you who I've kissed! Who asks someone something like that anyway? Oh. Someone like Mika, the girl who would slap a guy she didn't even know the very first time she laid her eyes on him. Shit._

"Yeah," Mika replied more quietly. "I mean, you're so cool and everything, so I guess I was silly to think you've never...done things with other people. I just want to a good job..."

 _Cool? Me?!_

"You don't need to worry about that kind of thing..."

"Really...?"

"Yeah, because, right now, I need you more than you could ever know," Takumi answered before he even knew what he was saying.

Mika seemed relieved. "Okay. But, I really want to know how many people you've kissed."

"Why?"

 _Let it go, damn it!_

"I just do!" she shouted defiantly.

 _Oh jeez. This is bad. She's stubborn when she gets something in her head. But, it can't be helped. I won't get anywhere with her if I don't tell her, so I'll just tell her, and hope that it will be enough._

Takumi took a deep breath. "Two people. That's it."

"Two..." Mika repeated with a thoughtful expression. "I thought," she continued with a slight laugh, "that it would be a lot more..."

"Huh?! A lot?!" Takumi exclaimed in disbelief.

 _No. It's not a lot. Just one of them was really...amazing. Damn it!_

"Yeah. You've got tons of fans. It would be easy to find girls."

"No," Takumi replied sulkily, "it's not."

 _I knew Mogi since elementary school. And Ryousuke...is not a girl. That's my two, and I'm not telling you anything else!_

Before Mika had a chance to ask him any more personal questions, Takumi claimed her mouth again. However, as he kissed Mika, Takumi realized that he was doing things with his mouth the way Ryousuke had done them, the things that had given him so much erotic excitement: nibbling on Mika's lower lip to ask for entrance, rolling his tongue around slowly at first, then deepening the kiss when Mika responded to it, sucking on her lip and drawing himself deeper into her mouth.

As they kissed, Takumi found himself with a mental struggle to keep his mind from comparing the kisses with Mika to those he had shared with Ryousuke. It was awful. The only time he felt the jolt of arousal was when he imagined that he was kissing Ryousuke again, trying to ignore the taste of strawberries, the stickiness of lip gloss being transferred to his own lips, the inconsistent responses of Mika's tongue.

He was having to take the lead, and, though it was exactly what he had set out to do, it was not producing the desired result.

 _I want him instead._

The thought had barely been formulated in his mind when Takumi felt a tightening in his groin.

 _No! This can't be happening to me. It can't. I need to do something drastic. I'm with Mika! Mika!_

He pulled away from Mika, her arms loosely holding onto him about the elbows. He was still twisted in the driver's seat of the car, and Mika seemed to be nearly cowering in the passenger side, flushed and breathing hard. She was a little sweaty, and somehow, it wasn't sexy the way it was on Ryousuke.

 _Pathetic. Ryousuke and me...whatever it was, it's over! I finished it! Now, get this thing over with, and get her to go to bed with you so it will be done once and for all!_

"Takumi-kun," she whispered, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Takumi affirmed, though the tone he heard himself use was not particularly convincing. He took in the sight of his girlfriend, her golf shirt a little wrinkled and her shorts riding up a little on her thigh. She looked dangerously inviting, and Takumi simply stared at her in an effort to fill his mind with thoughts only of her body. Not his body. "I want to go somewhere with you."

Mika's eyes widened a little. "Some...where?"

"Yeah. I don't like doing this in the car."

"Takumi-kun, what are you exactly asking me?"

Takumi ignored the look of concern he saw in Mika's expression. This was not the time for her to back out now; they had been making out for a while, and, though he didn't want to admit exactly what thoughts had caused it, Takumi was half hard already.

"I want to go to...a love hotel with you."

 _I said it._

"Eh?!" Mika shouted, her voice deafening in the close confines of the Impreza.

"You heard me," Takumi said with a frown, cringing at her sudden volume. "Don't you...want to?"

Mika had a curious expression on her face, part panic, part joy, part fury. He didn't know what to make of it.

 _Shit. Shit, shit, shit!_

"Mika?" he asked, leaning in for a kiss which Mika refused by turning her head away. Takumi froze. She was about to say no.

"Takumi-kun...we can't...I have to get home," Mika whispered.

Takumi exhaled. "We have time," he said softly, brushing back the strands of hair that fell onto her cheek. "I have to get home too."

"But, Takumi-kun... _I_ can't."

"Why?"

"Because...I won't do that with someone unless I know they love me..."

 _Crap._

"If you love me, Takumi-kun, oh God, I can't believe I'm saying this," she stammered, "then I will. But only if you really love me. If you're not sure, then we can't."

 _Great. Do I love Mika? I like her, but, do I really love her? I thought I did. Wait. Does it matter? Mogi said she loved me, and look where that ended up. You don't have to be in love with the person! Do you? But, I don't want to lie to her...I don't know what the hell I'm doing here! I don't love Ryousuke, and I slept with him...unless...do I really...oh God...NO!_

"Mika, of course I like you. I just want to be...closer to you..."

"But you don't love me, so we can't go any further than what we've already done."

She was serious, and she looked as though her heart just split in two. Takumi couldn't bring himself to lie to her. It was so much easier to lie to himself.

So, he said nothing.

Takumi shifted in his seat, reaching a hand around Mika's neck to pull her into a passionate kiss. He half expected her to push him away, but she didn't. It was so damn confusing! She was telling him no with her words, but telling him yes with her mouth. He didn't know what to do, but he knew what he wanted.

He moved his lips to Mika's neck, sucking on the smooth skin.

"Ta-Takumi-kun...please..." Mika gasped.

Takumi claimed Mika's mouth again, and moved his body over her, slipping his hand down to push back the passenger seat.

Mika brought her hands up to Takumi's chest, trying to push him off, but Takumi wasn't about to let her. He would kiss her more. He would touch her more. He would undress her. He would have her.

"Takumi-kun...please stop...," Mika gasped between kisses. "This is...too much..."

"No, Mika. It really isn't."

"Yes it is!" she shouted.

Takumi stared hard at Mika who suddenly seemed small and vulnerable. Was she actually afraid?

"What are you afraid of, Mika? Don't you want to be closer to me?"

"Not...like this..."

Takumi leaned in and kissed her more gently. "Is that better?"

Mika nodded cautiously.

"Okay."

Takumi continued to kiss Mika's neck. He moved his hand to her thigh, traveling slowly upward underneath the hem of her shorts. Mika sounded breathless, and Takumi hoped that her rasps were a sign that she was finally enjoying things. However, she suddenly put her hand on his, gripping very tightly, pushing his hand off her thigh.

"No, Takumi-kun. I can't do this after all. I'm sorry," she whispered.

 _No. I don't want to stop now! I need this right now!_

Takumi ignored her, and quickly un-tucked her shirt, pushing his hands underneath.

"Takumi-kun!" Mika shouted, slapping him hard across the face.

 _Damn it! What the hell have you done?!_

The slap jolted him back into reality, and he immediately moved off of Mika's body and she quickly opened the car door and began to run away.

 _SHIT!_

Takumi hurriedly followed her, calling out her name.

"Mika! Mika, stop! I'm sorry! Please!"

Mika stopped, her shoulders shaking, and Takumi knew instantly that he had done something truly horrible. He approached Mika slowly.

"Mika, please. I...don't know what I was thinking, I'm so sorry..."

Mika spun around, tears streaking her face. _"Take me home right now!"_

Takumi was stunned. He had scared her. Was he actually going to _force_ her? Didn't he run that senpai Miki off the road for trying to do the same thing to Mogi?

 _What have I done here...?_

The thought had barely been completed when the sting of Mika's hand met his cheek again.

"Are you listening to me?!" she shouted, sobbing. "I told you to _take me home_!"

Takumi immediately felt a remorse more powerful than anything he'd felt in his life. He sank to his knees in the middle of the parking lot, and lowered himself at Mika's feet.

"Mika, please forgive me!" he cried, "I wasn't thinking, I, oh God, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it, I mean, I wanted it, but," he stammered, "but I didn't mean for it to be like that! Forgive me!"

Mika said nothing. Takumi had lowered his head, not wanting to see the face that accompanied the crying he heard. His own tears felt hot and punishing on his twice slapped cheek, and he wished Mika would get in the Impreza and run him over with it.

 _I'm a horrible person. A confused, pathetic, horrible person. Mika...I'm sorry..._

"Get up, Takumi-kun," Mika said flatly, recovering herself from her sobs.

"Mika..."

"I said get up."

Takumi raised his head and got to his feet.

"Tell me the truth, Takumi-kun. Why did you do that?" Her expression was serious, full of underlying hurt and anger.

 _I can't tell her the truth..._

"You don't want to say, do you?" Mika asked quietly.

"No. I really don't."

"Then take me home."

"Okay."

The two of them walked in silence to the waiting car. Mika got in unassisted, and Takumi walked around the back of the car to the driver's seat. Once he got in as well, he began to apologize again.

"Mika, I'm-"

"Why, Takumi-kun?" Mika interrupted. "I didn't think...you were like that."

Takumi exhaled. "I've never been like that before..."

"Then, why?"

Takumi didn't have an answer that he thought would ever be right.

"Takumi-kun, I'll forgive you if you answer me truthfully. Is there...someone else? Someone who does those things with you?"

 _God! Why does she have to be so direct?! But, I really want her to forgive me. I'll feel even more like shit if she doesn't._

"Yeah. There was someone else. But I'm not with that person now," he admitted, the weight of his confusing feelings for Ryousuke and the guilt over his actions with both Ryousuke and Mika crushing him.

"Oh. So that's how it is, then," Mika commented.

"Yeah. I wanted to forget that person. I'm so sorry, Mika, for hurting you."

"Did it work?"

"Huh?"

"Did you...forget about that 'other person'?" Mika asked softly, seeing that Takumi's eyes were nearly as damp as her own.

Takumi did not respond.

"If you don't tell me truthfully, I won't forgive you."

After a few seconds, Takumi responded truthfully. "No. I didn't," he whispered as he started the car.

"Oh."

They drove in silence until Mika's house came into view. Takumi realized he'd likely not be making this drive ever again, and he truly didn't deserve someone like Mika. She deserved to be with someone who wasn't constantly thinking of someone else. She was still young, they both were. She'd get over it, and Takumi wondered if he ever would. Mika should have been perfect for him in every way, yet, because of his own stupidity and confusion, she suddenly wasn't.

Takumi stopped the car.

Mika turned in her seat to face him, and Takumi could feel her eyes on him, and the vestigial tingling of the slap she had given him.

"I forgive you, Takumi-kun," she said plainly.

"Thank God," Takumi replied to no one in particular. Suddenly, Mika unfastened her seatbelt and kissed him on the cheek. "What was that for? You should probably slap me again."

"Takumi-kun, you were really bothered by something today, so I forgive you. I even forgive you for spending time with someone else. But," she continued, stifling a slight sob, "I don't think I can see you anymore. We can still email and text, but, I don't think we should date."

"Why are you so nice to me when I was such an asshole? I didn't mean it, but, you should kick me or something..."

"I can't do that because I like you too much. I think I even love you. Part of me...didn't want you to stop, and I got scared..."

 _What?! How can she say that so easily? She's breaking up with me. She should break up with me. So why tell me that?!_

"Mika..."

"But, I can tell you don't love me, even if you like me. I don't know if you love someone else, or if you just don't love me, but I can't see you if you're still thinking about another person you like."

"Yeah. I'm sorry I screwed this up. I really...like you..."

"But, you think you might like someone else more, don't you?"

"I don't know."

Mika took in a sharp breath. "Okay. If you figure it out, you can call, I guess. I'm getting out. I had a lot of fun with you, Takumi-kun..."

With that, Mika quickly exited the car and went into her house without looking back. Takumi waited for the light to go on in the upstairs window like it usually did.

Tonight, however, Mika didn't wave good-bye from it like she usually did.

 _I'm pathetic._


	25. Chapter 25

Fujiwara Tofu Shop. Tuesday, 10:35 PM.

Takumi returned home wondering how the relatively short drive from Saitama could feel so impossibly long; not even the radio helped to ease his mind from what he had done. He didn't deserve Mika, or her forgiveness. He didn't deserve Ryousuke either, not that he had him, or had been sure that he wanted him.

No. He knew he wanted him, and that was the whole problem.

Now, he had nothing.

He walked into the shop to find his father sprawled out on the floor watching television. For some reason, he stopped instead of making a beeline toward his room.

"Tadaima," Takumi said plainly.

"Welcome back," Bunta replied, half turning and half facing his son. Though it was imperceptible to Takumi, Bunta gave him a thorough once over: redness on the cheek, dirty knees. Idiot.

"You're earlier than expected."

"Yeah."

"I'm not even drunk yet."

"Yeah. Okay."

"If you want to go upstairs, go ahead."

 _Huh? Where's the "I told you so, you Idiot?" What the hell...?_

"Okay. I'm going then."

Bunta grunted in response and Takumi walked upstairs to his room. He pulled out his phone and texted another apology to Mika. He didn't think she'd respond, but he felt there was no way he could begin to apologize enough, despite her forgiveness. Once the text was completed he stared at his phone.

 _I want to call him._

Instead, he closed the phone and got ready for bed.

 _I'm...so...stupid..._

Takumi had just closed the light and his eyes when he heard a knock on his bedroom door.

"Takumi. I'm coming in."

Takumi turned the light back on and sat up in bed. "Okay, Dad."

Bunta walked into his son's room and moved the chair from Takumi's desk to a new position beside his bed. "First, I'm here to tell you you're a complete idiot. And, you're a obviously a jerk too to have done something to earn you a slap in the face and dirty knees from groveling at Mika-chan's feet."

Takumi felt his mouth hang open.

 _Shitty old man! Here's my "I told you so," I guess. How do you always know everything I do?!_

"Thanks, Old Man. Now I feel worse. Happy?"

"No. I'm not happy. But, I'm glad you feel like shit because you should."

Takumi scowled.

"Takumi, I don't really care who you want to spend your time with."

Takumi felt his cheeks heat.

 _Oh...shit._

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't lie. You suck at it."

 _He knows._

Takumi scowled again, and wanted to sink into the floor. "I just want to go to bed, Dad. Can you leave me alone, please?"

"Did you have a fight with that guy or not?" Bunta asked outright.

 _Think. Think! Oh crap. This could get really bad here!_

Takumi looked away. "Not really."

"Hmm. Well, figure it out quick, because you really are becoming a pain in the ass to live with." Getting no response, Bunta decided it was time to lay all his cards on the table. "Are you involved with him?"

 _Oh God this is really bad! Go away!_

"Dad!" Takumi shouted. "How can you ask me that?!"

 _Deny it!_

"So you are," Bunta declared.

"Of course I'm _not!_ What are you saying?!"

Bunta remained silent, challenging his son to tell him the truth.

 _Oh, man. What should I say?!_

"I'm a guy!"

 _Idiot!_

Bunta exhaled. "No, you're just a brat."

Takumi clenched his teeth. "Then leave me alone and don't ask me weird crap like that!"

"If I don't ask, you won't tell me anything."

"Bingo! I don't _want_ to tell you anything! Especially not about me and-"

Takumi cut himself off from nearly admitting the truth.

 _Shit._

Bunta chuckled a little. "That's it, Takumi. Keep yakking. I'm listening, and I know you like a book anyway, like it or not."

"I want to go to bed," Takumi said plainly.

"I'm going to ask you again. Are you involved with him?"

Takumi lay down, deliberately facing away from his father, although it was likely way too late.

"No. I'm not," he whispered.

"You suck at lying."

 _I've already lost. He knows it happened. I'm a dead man, probably._

"I'm not...anymore," Takumi relented quietly.

"That sounds a little more truthful," Bunta declared, raising his eyebrows a little. Apparently whatever happened was over before it even really started. Part of him was relieved, but another part had the feeling that Takumi didn't really want for it to be over at all. Takumi lay still and Bunta said nothing.

"I ended it. It was a mistake," Takumi whispered after a moment, surprising his father a little that he'd say anything at all.

 _God, it hurt to say that...I didn't want it to be a mistake..._

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

 _No, that's wrong. I wanted it and it wasn't a mistake! Your son is confused and stupid! And why aren't you beating the crap out of me for doing it with a guy?!_

"I see. I wonder what the mistake was."

 _Huh? What does he mean?_

"Dad...," Takumi began, turning in bed and steeling himself for a thrashing, "do you really not care...?"

Bunta exhaled and put his hand to his temple. "You work hard, you stay out of trouble, and, until this week, you've been a pretty nice kid. You're a good son, Takumi."

Takumi could feel the moisture enter his eyes.

 _Why isn't he beating the crap out of me?!_

"Dad?"

Bunta rose from the chair. "Takumi, it's your life. You're still a brat, but you're technically a grown man." Bunta paused, and Takumi thought he saw a flicker of an emotion cross his father's normally expressionless face. What was it? Sadness? Disappointment? With him? Takumi wasn't sure. "And you're not the first Fujiwara man to become involved in something where people might not approve of it."

 _Eh? What is he talking about? Is he going to kill me or is he just waiting for me to die of embarrassment?!_

"So I'm not in a position to where I can judge your choices, because Lord knows I'm not an expert in this kind of thing," he continued with a sigh.

 _He's not talking about my...no. Why would he?_

"You can do whatever, but don't take out your personal issues on innocent people. The next time you have a problem with something, deal with it with the person who is causing the problem."

Takumi nodded, wondering why the sudden lecture had occurred, but he feeling oddly thankful for it. "But I'm kind of the one who caused a problem, I think."

"That doesn't surprise me, Moron."

 _Shitty old man. But what was he trying to tell me? How come I can never figure it out right away?_

"Get to bed. I'm waking you up early and I want you to stay as late as possible on Akina tomorrow. A solid practice will do you some good."

"Okay."

Bunta was at the doorway and Takumi was about to close his light again. "Sorry it ended badly, Takumi."

"You mean with Mika-chan?" Takumi asked, still stunned that he hadn't gotten his ass kicked, and confused with his father's sudden urge to parent.

"Yeah, sure."

With that, Bunta closed the door.

 _He didn't mean Mika-chan._ _I don't know why you are so calm about this, but, okay. I love you too, shitty old man. Ryousuke...I didn't want to stop...I had to, but I didn't want to..._

* * *

Wednesday, 5:37 PM, Project D garage.

Ryousuke pulled into the only unoccupied space in front of the garage. He'd had a shitty day at class, a shitty night at work, and he was in no mood to really talk to anyone, but he needed the latest safety and structural data on the hachi-roku to make a final decision on the max power output the car would be able to handle. When Fumihiro had phoned to say that Fujiwara did arrive to retrieve the videos and other data from the prospective racing teams, they had managed to keep him in the office so he wouldn't see the car in the main bay. To learn that Takumi had come as instructed pleased him, but it also served to remind him that whatever they had shared was not going to happen again, and that business was business.

It was idiotic to think he could get away with mixing business with pleasure like that, and Ryousuke hoped that whatever damage he had done to Takumi, that it could be repaired enough to do the Tokyo debut and secure the theory of Fastest Speed on Public Roads into a firm reality. In Ryousuke's mind, that was all he could cling to. Once the theory was proved, and contracts signed, Takumi would be gone. Ryousuke was hurt. He had to admit it, and it pissed him off because he allowed it to happen. He'd allowed himself hope, and it only caused him to lose Takumi and to have his brother despise him.

This is what became of losing one's self-control, the exact kind of thing he should have prevented, especially with Takumi. The situation with his other precious person was equally bad.

Keisuke was avoiding him like the plague, and Ryousuke was annoyed because he thought that there should be no reason for it now. He had made the decision to return to the role Keisuke expected him to play, and yet, it apparently wasn't enough for his otouto. The next, and penultimate official meeting for D was a week away, and Ryousuke wondered how he could possibly get through it. He might even have to delegate it to Fumihiro, and that angered him even more. This was his team, the Aces were his hand-picked drivers. If things with Keisuke didn't improve, Ryousuke wasn't fond of having to enact a "strictly business" simulation when it came to his own brother. It was stupid, and Ryousuke hated stupidity more than anything.

Ryousuke got out of the FC and walked in. He knew he wasn't in a great mood; he hadn't had a chance to sleep, and wouldn't get to before his shift started in a few hours. His plan was simple: get the hachi-roku data and go home.

"Ah you're here, Ryousuke," Fumihiro said quietly as he approached the entrance, taking immediate note of Ryousuke's tired and sour expression. 'Uh-oh. Something's wrong.'

"Yeah. Is the data ready?" Ryousuke asked, not bothering even to greet everyone.

"Well, we're just finishing up what we have, but-"

"Fine. I'll take it," Ryousuke interrupted, taking off his sport coat and slinging it over his shoulder.

"Ryousuke-"

"What?" he snapped. Fumihiro recoiled a bit and the two mechanics lifted their eyes from the computer and stared. He saw that his old friend was in one of his impatient moods, and that was not appealing. However, Ryousuke could usually correct himself in front of the chiefs, so Fumihiro simply made a mental note to have a chat with him later.

"What we have is almost ready," he began cautiously, knowing his old friend well enough to know when he was pissed off.

"I'll wait," Ryousuke said icily and the mechanics were desperately scrambling to get the printout ready.

"Want some coffee?"

"How long will I be waiting, exactly?" came the response.

"Ryousuke, are you all right?" Fumihiro implored, with a subtle glance to a pair of almost nervous looking mechanics. Ryousuke knew he was being a dick, but he just couldn't help himself. He was tired, cranky, and needed a drink he couldn't have before he went into work. He could tell his friend was trying to tell him to cool it, but he was not in the mood to wait. He really didn't want to have any personal interaction at all, but he wanted to at least review the data before he went to work.

"I'm fine." Ryousuke knew that his friend saw through him, but he didn't care. This was not the place for Hiroshi to be asking him that. He could see that the mechanics were a little upset too, and although he was aware that he was being terse, he found that he wasn't in the mood to care about that either. Now that his relationship with Takumi was to be only about signing the contracts and giving him the hachi-roku, Ryousuke wanted to immerse himself in it. Waiting for data was not something he wanted to do.

'I'm selfish after all, and I don't care who knows it today.'

It was unusual for him to have this attitude in front of everyone, though they'd all seen it before from time to time. Whenever it appeared, it was never a very good thing. But, since Ryousuke normally directed it only toward his own brother, and was otherwise more generous than most people would ever believe, the mechanics gave him a pass and Fumihiro only gave him gentle reminders to watch his attitude when it surfaced like this.

"Ryousuke," Fumihiro tried again, "we had a few more issues come up today that I think we should discuss."

"Fumihiro," the tired intern countered flatly, not allowing his friend to continue, "I don't have a lot of time to spare here. Either the data is ready for me, or it isn't. Which is it?"

Fumihiro stiffened. 'Okay, old friend, if this is your mood today, fine,' he thought to himself, not approving of Ryousuke's demeanor one bit. He was going too far, and he should know it. Ryousuke could really play the part of _asshole_ to the hilt when he wanted to, and thus, he actually had very few people who could be called his friends. Obviously, the fact remained that he and Keisuke were still very much at odds, so that had to be the reason for this, but Ryousuke did not have the right to take his personal problems with his brother out on him and the chiefs. It was immature and unacceptable, and very unlike the Ryousuke he knew who could usually separate his personal problems from his more professional position in the world of street racing.

The hachi-roku chief Matsumoto rose and handed Ryousuke the printouts. "Here, Ryousuke-san. This is what we have today."

Ryousuke took the paperwork and scanned it without a word. He leafed through the three or so pages and looked up disgustedly.

"Where's the rest?" he asked coldly.

"Uh, well, you see," Matsumoto began.

"This is bullshit!" Ryousuke shot back. He knew he was losing it, and before he could summon any restraint, he heard his own voice lash out in a tone that sickened him to realize he'd been hearing his whole life as his Father's son. But even that wasn't enough to cool him down, the hot temper he usually kept in check had been unleashed, the hurt, anger, and frustration since the morning before shamelessly being thrust upon people who obviously didn't deserve it.

And he was too pissed off to care.

"This is not data. Where's the god-damn structural assessment of the hachi-roku?" Ryousuke heard his Father's voice demand, "The results of the stress diagnostic? Where are the dyno readouts, and the numbers for the tuning for the suspension? What you've given me is nothing but a quick once over. I thought I made it abundantly _clear_ that I wanted every inch of that car gone over with a fine toothed comb, and _this_ is what I get?!"

Matsumoto and Keisuke's chief Tomiguchi were stunned silent. Their leader had never lost his temper with their work, and he didn't even let them finish explaining what happened. 'What the hell was up with him today?' seemed to be their collective thought.

"Ryousuke!" Fumihiro shouted firmly. "Where the _hell_ do you get off talking to him like that?!"

Ryousuke spun and looked at his old friend, his eyes narrowed. "When I say I'm coming over here to get the data," he said coolly, "I mean I want to come here and get it." Turning to the chiefs once again, he spat, "So _someone_ tell me why I'm reading something I could get at a god-damn gas station for a _third_ of what I'm paying you!"

Ryousuke's mind was spinning. Why couldn't he shut the hell up? But, he was unhappy with what he held in his hand, and he just didn't have the patience for some bullshit excuse. This was an important time for the Aces. Was he the only one who understood that?

"Ryousuke-san," Matsumoto ventured, "We tried to tell you; once we had it running, there was too much vibration. We had to pull the engine again, and try to keep Fujiwara out of the bay. He almost walked right out here, so we basically had to stop working until he left so he wouldn't see what we were doing. We got behind as a result."

"So then _one_ of you three should have taken him somewhere else to look over the team information! You all have cars, don't you? One of you could have gone with him and the other stay here to keep working on the hachi-roku! Do I have to make every damn decision around here myself?! Do I need to be here for every little thing for it to get done correctly?!"

"Ryousuke," Fumihiro said sternly. Though he didn't raise his voice, he wanted to remove Ryousuke from the garage and find out what was really going on. "Step outside with me. Now."

"No."

The two longtime friends regarded each other quietly. The chiefs knew that Fumihiro was about as laid back as they come, but they could see that his patience was running thin too.

"I'm very sorry, Ryousuke-san," Matsumoto ventured to break into the silent staring battle between the two. "We offered that, and Fujiwara refused. He had a lot of questions for me about some of the team's tuning decisions, so I couldn't get back to the car. Also, the fabricator has to tweak the mounts while the motor is out of the engine bay. Tomiguchi is here, so we _will_ get it done today when the fabricator gets back, even if we stay here all night. You'll have the safety data in your email by morning."

Ryousuke was still not amused, but he was quiet. Perhaps Fumihiro had made some kind of silent admonition to him after all.

"We're still slightly ahead of the original schedule, Ryousuke-san," Tomiguchi hesitantly supplied. "I know if Matsumoto-san and I work together, we can get the engine mounted and the car on the dyno tonight."

Ryousuke raised a hand to his temple, feeling the onset of a headache. He wasn't interested in excuses.

"You tend to forget, old friend," Fumihiro added with a tone colored with anger, "that Matsumoto and Tomiguchi have put off all their other clients to work on Fujiwara's car. You also tend to forget that they both greatly reduced the amount of work they took in during the Project in order to give the majority of their time to the FD and to the hachi-roku. Things like this happen, and, even if it disrupts your god-damn schedule, you have to fucking deal with it! So, stop being an _asshole_!"

"The person paying your salaries reserves the right to be an asshole," Ryousuke replied quietly. "If it's not in my inbox as soon as I get home from the hospital in the morning, consider our contract null and void."

Ryousuke turned to leave, but Fumihiro was not going to tolerate this behavior without an answer. "Where the hell do you get off, _bocchama_?!"

Ryousuke froze. He hated that word and all of its implications, and Fumihiro knew it. "Don't call me that."

"Don't act like it," Fumihiro countered. He knew he'd struck a nerve, but Ryousuke didn't seem to be lessening his anger one bit. The mechanics could only look on with disbelief and neither of them knew whether or not they should excuse themselves. Fumihiro was about the only person who could get away with speaking to Ryousuke that way, and the guy seemed to be beyond having any fear of Ryousuke's temper.

"You guys don't understand a god-damn thing. Not a damn thing," Ryousuke hissed. He turned to face them all once again, and he was flushed and trembling. The sight was a shock to all three of the team members who were used to Ryousuke's usual cool demeanor. "That car has to be as _safe_ as is humanly possible, and then, I want you to make it even _more_ safe than _that_!" he yelled, the deep timbre of his voice sounding harsh and strained. "That thing is over ten years old and it won't fucking last forever! Before Fujiwara gets in the driver's seat, I need to know that it won't fucking fall apart!"

"So that's what it is," Fumihiro commented. Perhaps Ryousuke was simply overprotective of the younger driver, now that his feelings for him had been acted upon. But something was telling Fumihiro that wasn't quite right. Something else must have happened, something that displeased Ryousuke greatly.

Ryousuke felt a pang in his chest. As usual, Hiroshi knew him better than he knew himself sometimes. 'Shit,' Ryousuke thought. 'What the hell did I just say? What the hell am I doing? He's not mine to protect...'

"I'm leaving," Ryousuke announced. He knew he'd been a dick. He'd acted just like his Father, the very person he was terrified to become. He should apologize, but, the words wouldn't come. "Just email it, then, when it's done right."

Ryousuke exited the garage, slamming the door behind him, leaving the three men to stare after him listening to him recklessly peel out of the lot. They stood silently until they could no longer hear the rotary engine as it retreated from the garage.

"What the heck was that about, Fumihiro-san?" Matsumoto asked.

"I'm not sure exactly, but, he and Keisuke..."

"They're fighting?" Tomiguchi offered.

Fumihiro considered the question. "I'd say it's more like they're not really communicating right now, but they did fight."

The two chiefs looked at one another. "I thought Keisuke-san seemed upset when he stopped by with the FD earlier. He didn't want to talk about it. I had no idea he was having problems with Ryousuke-san," Tomiguchi mused.

"I wonder what happened," Matsumoto pondered. "Lately, Ryousuke-san has been really impressed with Keisuke-san. He's probably not said as much to his brother, but he's said it to us several times that he's acknowledged Keisuke-san's accomplishments. And, he's been so concerned with the hachi-roku's structural integrity, and adding all these safety features, which, granted, is a good idea with a car like that, but I've been assuring him that all things considered, everything is pretty much fixable; it's been well maintained over the years. There's really not too much to worry about..."

"Matsumoto, Tomiguchi," Fumihiro replied. "I can't go into detail, and I haven't talked to Ryousuke for more than a moment or two since the other day, but suffice it to say that this is a personal situation. It has nothing really to do with the cars at all."

"The drivers then?" Matsumoto asked aloud, receiving a slight nod from Fumihiro in response. "I see. I guess it seems as though the Aces are at odds with him over something. Come to think of it, even Fujiwara was not himself today. I know the kid's kind of shy, I've gotten to know him pretty well I suppose, but there was definitely something wrong with him too. I brushed it off, but, seeing how Ryousuke-san was today..."

"When you finish with the car, give me the data. I'll deliver it to Ryousuke myself in the morning," Fumihiro responded, subtly preventing the conversation from centering on the relationships the Aces had or didn't have with Ryousuke.

"But, Fumihiro-san, won't he get angrier if we don't email it?" Tomiguchi asked nervously.

Fumihiro chuckled. "I'll apologize for him for now, but I'll get his skinny butt back here to do it himself. He was terribly out of line, and I'm not going to give him a pass on it either. Leave it to me. We've known each other too long for him to think I'll let him get away with the crap he just pulled, and he knows it. I'll handle him."

"If you say so," Tomiguchi replied, stealing a look at an equally unsure Matsumoto.

In all honesty, Fumihiro wasn't sure what he was going to do, but he knew that something had gone incredibly wrong in the last day or so.


	26. Chapter 26

Takahashi Residence, Thursday, 8:27 AM.

Fumihiro stifled a yawn as he sat in his car. He was parked in front of the house that had been his best friend's home since childhood. He'd been inside dozens of times over the years since they were children, and he knew it nearly as well as he knew his own parents' home. The house was very large, but not too ostentatious. It was decorated in the Western style, and Fumihiro always thought that was incredibly cool growing up because his own home was much more traditional. There was not one single tatami mat in the Takahashi residence, and the furnishings were mostly European and American in design. It wasn't cluttered, but it was obvious that Mrs. Takahashi had an eye for beautiful things, and every item in the house was chosen and placed with great care. Despite that, however, Fumihiro had never been quite comfortable visiting his friend at his home. Even as a kid, he always thought that the house seemed a bit too perfect, as if a guest was only permitted to see what lay upon the surface of the family that lived there.

As the years went on, Fumihiro knew that his instincts were mostly correct. The Takahashi were incredibly influential in Takasaki and Maebashi both, and there was no denying that Dr. Takahashi was a truly gifted surgeon. The fact that he had expanded the hospital founded by his own father by such an exponential degree was testament to his gifts as both a physician and as a shrewd businessman and fundraiser. The man was rarely sighted in his own home. In fact, Fumihiro could probably count on one hand the number of times he met the man personally, and thankfully so. Just like a driver going into battle could sense the aura of his opponent, Fumihiro sensed an air about Ryousuke's father that was decidedly unpleasant.

Being as close to Ryousuke as he was, Fumihiro had learned plenty of subtly confessed truths about life in the house full of beautiful things. Dr. Takahashi loathed the very existence of his younger son, and he abused him countless times. He virtually ignored his wife most days, and, though Ryousuke never mentioned it directly, Fumihiro had gathered that the man had taken a mistress from time to time. Ryousuke's mother was a person he had seen plenty of when they were small, but, as the boys grew up, she retreated into her own world. Ryousuke had said she suffered from depression, but Fumihiro knew enough to know that Ryousuke meant that his mother suffered most from being married to an asshole. Also, there was Keisuke's troubled youth, the very thing which prompted Ryousuke to take action and get his brother into racing in the first place. Fumihiro knew that Dr. Takahashi did not approve of his boys racing, or, at the very least, he didn't approve of Ryousuke's taking part. But, for some reason, he bankrolled it. Fumihiro supposed it was some kind of reward for his eldest son for being exactly the son he was supposed to be in every other thing in his life.

Fumihiro looked at his watch. Ryousuke's shift should have been over an hour earlier, but he had yet to arrive home. The thought crossed his mind that he may have crashed at his university apartment, but Fumihiro didn't think so. If he and Keisuke weren't communicating, Fumihiro assumed that Ryousuke would come back to his father's home to pounce upon even the slightest overture from his little brother. So, he waited. At this hour, Keisuke would still be asleep, and, likely, so would their mother. Dr. Takahashi was likely not at home. Fumihiro never spent a thought on Ryousuke's reasons for staying in the family home instead of moving to his apartment full time because he had a feeling he knew exactly what his reasons were. Ryousuke was nothing if not dutiful, and Fumihiro supposed that he felt that his place should be by his mother's and his brother's side for however long he was needed. As for Ryousuke's feelings toward his father, Fumihiro thought that Ryousuke always lived with a certain measure of resignation to his fate. He was the elder, and Dr. Takahashi put the entire legacy of the family solely on Ryousuke's shoulders. Certainly, the family was already wealthy enough that the two young men could probably live a lifetime without ever having to work, but, while that would be acceptable for Keisuke, Dr. Takahashi obviously had other plans for his eldest son. In other words, Ryousuke had to do everything; he had to be perfect. Fumihiro thought that Dr. Takahashi took every step necessary to mold his eldest son in his own image, as if he was God.

For his part, Ryousuke complied with everything. Most of the time. Fumihiro didn't think it was fear of his father exactly, but his friend took his position in the family seriously, and it was actually pretty sad. If a brilliant guy like Ryousuke could have chosen for himself, there was no telling what he would do. Fumihiro realized with another measure of sadness that he didn't even know what his friend would have wanted for his life if he could have chosen for himself. The fact was that Ryousuke's life had been mapped out since the day of his birth, and there was no room at all for what Ryousuke may have wanted for himself. The only thing he ever did for his own pleasure was racing, and despite the fact that he said he had no desire to go pro himself, Fumihiro wondered if he would have chosen a life similar to his role as Project D's leader, a role of mentorship for young street racers. Fumihiro could see his friend becoming like the chief of the Toudou school, designing his own special brand of curriculum to achieve maximum results on the street. Whether or not it would have been lucrative financially, Ryousuke could have been passionate about something like that.

But, Ryousuke did what Ryousuke had to do. He was in med-school, and he hated it. He was giving up racing, and he hated that too. He'd probably end up marrying someone he barely knew, and he'd be under his father's very large thumb every day at work. Although Fumihiro himself followed in his father's footsteps in the field of accounting, Fumihiro enjoyed the work. For Ryousuke, enjoyment was not a consideration. Dr. Takahashi expected his son to follow him, and so Ryousuke did. Though Dr. Takahashi was literally heavy handed when it came to Keisuke, Fumihiro thought that he was equally if differently heavy handed with Ryousuke. He simply had no room to breathe, and it was no wonder the guy used about twenty hours of every day or more, sometimes neglecting to eat and often neglecting sleep for days at a time. Of course, he could have slept more if he didn't have Project D, but Fumihiro knew that the Project was probably the only thing that had been keeping him sane.

Fumihiro also knew it was the main thing that still prevented him from turning into his father, something which he knew his friend desperately feared. Dr. Takahashi was successful and accomplished, but he apparently wasn't a very nice human being.

Someone who was as driven to succeed as that man was would probably have to be a first class jerk. Though Fumihiro's family and Ryousuke's had always purported to be on friendly terms, there were several nights when he recalled his father coming home from an outing with Ryousuke's parents muttering words of extreme dislike of them. Though his father never said so outright, Fumihiro was pretty sure that he wasn't terribly happy that his son was best friends with "that Takahashi kid" as he was wont to call Ryousuke.

Nevertheless, as they grew up and continued to attend school together in some years, Fumihiro's father had come to understand that the eldest son of "that Takahashi" was actually a decent kid, and exceptional in his own right. The tacit support of his son's friendship with Ryousuke meant that their families would continue the charade of mixing within similar social circles and getting together for dinners out, despite the fact that he didn't like the superior attitude Ryousuke's father threw around to everyone.

Usually, Ryousuke was down to earth, or, rather, as down to earth as someone with his social standing could ever be. But, there were times when shades of the father could be seen in the son. Fumihiro knew that Ryousuke couldn't help himself sometimes; the years of being thusly molded were ingrained within him deeply. He could keep it in check most of the time, but there were times when he certainly didn't care to. Fumihiro knew that part of his job as Ryousuke's right hand man was to reign him in, and that was what he was going to do this morning. He had that job with both the Takahashi brothers, but he found that of the two, Keisuke was actually easier to handle. Keisuke was physical, emotional, but he was actually to the point where he put up very little resistance to admonitions anymore. Conversely, Ryousuke could be moody, impatient, harsh, unyielding, and a complete asshole when he wanted to be. Add that to his naturally commanding presence, and talking him out of being a jerk was mentally exhausting.

"Why do I keep hanging around with this guy anyway?" Fumihiro mused aloud to no one. With a chuckle, he reminded himself of the reason. As his oldest friend aside from Keisuke, Fumihiro felt it was his place to keep Ryousuke in check, and to treasure him for who his normally was. Ryousuke was desperately trying not to become a full mirror of his father. Unfortunately, his appearance didn't help much, neither did his enormous brain capacity, nor his seeming inability to have any type of intimate relationship with anyone. He was, in fact, very much like his father from what Fumihiro could tell, and Fumihiro knew that bothered Ryousuke to no end. Fumihiro admired him on so many levels, but when he acted up, Fumihiro thought that his friend could walk into his Father's shoes entirely too well. Sure, Ryousuke mitigated things for himself from time to time, and street racing was the big one. It was illegal, after all, and hardly the claim to fame a man like Dr. Takahashi would want. He did little things too, like coloring his hair with decidedly unnatural hues to lessen his physical resemblance to his father, but, ultimately, the fact remained that he was more similar to him than he wished to be. At times, Fumihiro thought that Ryousuke didn't even realize it, or, if he did, he could get into a mood so foul that he forgot himself and didn't care how he came across to others.

That was probably what happened the day before, and Fumihiro felt it was his duty to tell the bocchama that he had crossed the line, even if Ryousuke probably already knew it himself. He knew his friend was deeply troubled over the situation with Keisuke, and, after trying to talk with Fujiwara the day before and having zero luck reading him, Fumihiro decided that something went incredibly wrong in that department as well. He had warned his friend that it was a bad idea, but he'd also been happy for him too. Ryousuke was allowing himself a little bit of happiness, and Fumihiro had been glad for it. When he had first learned that his friend preferred men, he wasn't really surprised for some reason. When Ryousuke swore him to secrecy about it, he wasn't surprised either. It was as if he knew he would only have a limited time to do that kind of thing, and he never got close to anyone he had been with because of that. Fumihiro respected it, even if he thought Ryousuke was pretty callous about things, and let his friend's personal business be his personal business.

If it became known to Ryousuke's father that his son was involved with men, Fumihiro knew that there would be hell to pay, and so did Ryousuke. Ultimately, he'd get married and conform to his family's wishes, right? This thing with Fujiwara was probably his last opportunity for that as well. Fumihiro was surprised that the reserved downhiller had gone along with things; he was even more surprised when Ryousuke told him Fujiwara had initiated it in the first place. But, Fujiwara had a knack for doing surprising things, so Fumihiro left it at that in his own mind. However, Fumihiro was getting the notion that Ryousuke had some serious feelings for the younger driver, and he wondered what his friend truly would do about it.

A few more moments passed, Fumihiro faintly heard the familiar sound of the FC as it approached the house. Seconds later, the garage door began to lift, revealing the FD, the Benz that Mrs. Takahashi never drove, and two vacant spots. Ryousuke turned his car in the street and backed into the garage between the FD and the Benz. Fumihiro got out of his own car and began to walk toward the garage as Ryousuke opened the car door and alighted.

"Good morning, Ryousuke," Fumihiro began.

Ryousuke stepped out of the garage looking like he hadn't slept in days. He probably hadn't.

"Why are you here, Hiroshi?" he asked quietly.

"Here," Fumihiro replied, handing over the completed work-up of the hachi-roku.

Ryousuke looked at his friend and looked at the paperwork. "Emailing it would have been sufficient," he said flatly.

"They emailed it too. Don't worry."

Ryousuke sighed and took out his cigarettes. He shook one loose from the pack and lit up. "I'm in trouble aren't I, Shiko?" he asked.

"Yeah. You are."

"Okay." Ryousuke continued to smoke and he ran his free hand through his hair. He still hadn't taken the printouts that had been so desperately urgent the evening before.

"You know what I'm about to say, don't you?"

"I have an idea."

"Good. You were a real asshole yesterday. Totally out of line."

"Yeah. Look, Hiroshi, I really don't want to deal with this right now," Ryousuke said evenly, finally outstretching his hand for the data.

"Not so fast. I'm not done with you," Fumihiro responded, not giving up the paperwork.

"Yes, you are. You said they emailed it too, so I don't need that print out, and I'm going in."

"Sorry, Old Friend, but you need to tell me what the hell is going on."

"There's nothing going on that concerns you."

"So you're still in asshole mode then."

"Yeah, I guess I am," Ryousuke said plainly, narrowing his eyes before turning and walking back toward the garage, flicking the butt of the quickly smoked cigarette off toward the far side of the driveway.

"If you're going to be a dick, you should at least call first and give us a warning."

Ryousuke stopped. "Hiroshi, you know me well enough to know that I _am_ I dick. I can't help it. Now then, I don't have time for bullshit. I've got work to do."

"You _can_ help it!" Fumihiro protested as loudly as he dared in the morning hours of the quiet upscale neighborhood.

Ryousuke turned to face him again. "Actually, yesterday, I couldn't help it and I didn't want to. I'm done. I'm tired, and I'm done."

Fumihiro studied his friend. He looked so exhausted, even more than usual. He was still in a lousy mood, but he was probably running on caffeine and not much else. "What the hell happened, Ryousuke?"

Ryousuke abandoned his plan to retreat inside the house and instead took out another cigarette. Did he even realize he was chain smoking? "If I tell you, will you go away?"

"No, but tell me anyway. For some stupid reason, I've been your only god-damn friend since you were in Kindergarten."

Ryousuke chuckled, taking a drag. "I wonder why the hell you've stuck with me so long, Shiko. You don't need to."

"Yeah, I think I do need to. You're social skills are really shitty sometimes. Someone needs to be around to tell you so. I don't see anyone else lining up for that crappy job, so here I am, and here I've always been. And, I've gotta say, that for someone who hates being your family's bocchama, you sure play the part well when you want to."

"That's my forte," Ryousuke seethed. "I'm excellent at playing parts, Shiko. You can leave now."

"Sorry, Ryousuke. But you deserve to get your butt kicked for the way you acted last night. Honestly, what the hell has gotten into you?!"

"Let's see, shall we? Here's my list:" Ryousuke said coolly, stepping closer to his friend and keeping his voice hushed. He took another couple of drags from his cigarette. For someone who had quit for quarter of a year, he sure was making up for lost time. "My brother hasn't spoken to me in days, and he probably fucking hates me. I hate my job, and I don't give a shit who knows it. I'm trying to plan our trip to Tokyo, and, if I don't get the _absolute_ right venue, and the _absolute_ right people to attend, it could affect the personal financial security of the Aces for the rest of their lives."

"Ryousuke,-"

"Oh, you thought that was it?" he interrupted, feeling the need to completely vent, "No, that's not it. I've got a supercharger on order for that hachi-roku, and I don't know if it's the right thing to do. Of course I can't even _talk_ to Takumi about his car, so that he doesn't find out I had to basically take his beloved hachi-roku down to the fucking bolts and put it back together again, and it still doesn't fucking work. Never mind if the car can structurally handle the power at this point and, imagine my _horror_ when I saw _how man_ y little cracks were in that damn thing and he was fucking _driving it_ like a madman on _my_ say-so. And, I had wanted to find more opponents and make one final stand somewhere, but I can't because they are both _so damn good_ it's frightening, and I am pretty fucking sure they don't need my sorry ass anymore. Top that off with the fact that I had some of the most _mindblowing_ sex I've had in my god-damn life last weekend, only to be told days later that it's not going to happen again."

Fumihiro felt his own eyebrows raise, quite startled how many things his friend was rolling around in his brain, and especially startled by his final statement. Ryousuke never spoke about his personal life so bluntly like that. Never.

"So, you see, Shiko," Ryousuke continued, pausing only to take another hit of nicotine, "I'm a tad stressed right now, and I really don't give a shit if I'm an asshole."

"Ryousuke, you're not an asshole. You just act like one sometimes. There's a difference," Fumihiro replied, having his suspicions that something happened between his friend and Fujiwara confirmed. It was as plain as day to him now, though it was still hard to believe: his friend who never let himself get too emotionally attached to anyone was hurt.

"Semantics."

Fumihiro sighed and Ryousuke finished his cigarette. "I'm sorry, Ryousuke. About him, I mean. But you can't take that stuff out on the chiefs. I told you this could be bad, and you knew it probably would be, right?"

Ryousuke closed his eyes. "Yeah. That's what's pissing me off. I knew it, and I did it anyway. What a fucking idiot."

"When was the last time you slept?"

"Two days ago. I think."

"Figures. You're language gets proportionately worse the less sleep you've had. Do you know that?"

Ryousuke's eyes widened. "Really."

The response was more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah, really. You sound just like Keisuke when he gets riled up. You guys are so similar in certain ways, it's crazy, and you two are the only ones who don't see it! Step outside of your damn box, and figure it out, Ryousuke. I don't know what to say about Fujiwara, but I know Keisuke pretty damn well, and he probably feels like crap for how he took everything, and doesn't know how to put his thoughts and feelings into words."

Ryousuke chuckled, but the sound wasn't pleasant. "Keisuke is better with words than we give him credit for, make no mistake. He said something to Takumi...but, whatever. Keisuke needs me to be his Aniki who can't be anything less than perfect, and Takumi only needs me to be his racing coach. It's all very neat and tidy like that, but I don't like it, okay? What I like never matters, and I should fucking know that by now."

Fumihiro listened to his friends words carefully before responding. "Even if Keisuke said something out of frustration, you know he probably didn't mean it..."

"But Takumi wouldn't know that."

Fumihiro exhaled. Ryousuke had a point. "Yeah. I suppose not. And you're still calling him Takumi."

"Tch."

"You're...hurt."

"No, I'm pissed."

"Ryousuke..."

Ryousuke massaged his temple for a moment and took a deep breath. "Yeah. I'm...hurt." Ryousuke could hear his own voice say the words, and, luckily, it was in front of Fumihiro and no one else. He ought to have been embarrassed to admit it, but, oddly, he felt better. "I'm sorry for my behavior. It was uncalled for."

Fumihiro saw his friend adopt his normal composure. Ryousuke's temper was notoriously bad, but it usually didn't last. It flared up quickly, and usually left in a similar fashion. He'd been keeping this up since the evening before, and it appeared he was finally done. Ryousuke could even exhaust himself when he got like this, Fumihiro realized, and there seemed to be no need to lecture his friend any further.

"It was definitely uncalled for," Fumihiro affirmed, feeling his friend's mood become less foul by the second. 'Good. He's really done.'

"And I'm sorry to be dumping my self pity on you, Shiko. You don't deserve it."

"But I'm your friend, Ryousuke. You should know by now that it would be better to dump this on me before you make an ass of yourself in front of other people."

"Yeah. I should know that."

"Here's the paperwork."

"Thanks."

"And you _will_ go over to the garage today and apologize to the chiefs and thank them appropriately for their work. They were there until 2 AM this morning with the car."

Ryousuke closed his eyes and finished his cigarette, absently flicking it toward the street. "I will."

"Ok. Now that we have that settled, I'm kidnapping you and taking you to breakfast."

"Shiko, I don't have time."

"Tough. You're going. After the crap you pulled, it's the least you can do since I was there til 2 AM too and I still have clients later."

"Sorry," Ryousuke said.

"Accepted. Now, close the garage door and get in."

"All right."

Ryousuke returned to the garage and closed the door by pressing a button on a small panel on its frame. Fumihiro started the car and Ryousuke got into the passenger seat.

"I won't keep you for long."

"Okay."

They drove in silence for a while and Ryousuke looked as though he could fall asleep any second. He was resting his head on his hand, leaning on the doorframe with his eyes closed. Fumihiro was about to wonder if he had actually fallen asleep when Ryousuke broke his silence.

"When Takumi came by the garage yesterday…how did he seem to you?"

"Tired, though he had some good questions for Matsumoto. But then he said he was going to have to work a double shift at his job to cover some evening warehouse work. It sounded like it was going to be a late night for him."

Fumihiro saw a minute trace of a smile cross his friend's lips which turned quickly to a frown.

"I'm sure he had to get up to deliver the tofu too."

"Yeah. He started to watch the clock for a bit when he was there. I think he had to work extra today also."

Ryousuke sighed. "He shouldn't have to work so hard."

Fumihiro let the comment hang in the air for a moment. "Why not?"

Ryousuke opened his eyes and looked at his friend. "Because I don't want him to have to."

"He wants to."

"I guess."

"You work hard too, Old Friend. We all wanted to work hard for this."

Ryousuke said nothing.

They sat silently for a few more minutes as Fumihiro slowed the car for a traffic light. "Ryousuke," Fumihiro began, "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I will tell you anyway. Fujiwara has approached me several times wanting to know the amount of money that was spent on the hachi-roku during the project. He's offered money before, but I've done as you've requested and I haven't told him anything about D's finances."

Ryousuke exhaled. "Ah. I told you he'd probably ask about that at some point."

"Well, he asked again last night. He was even more serious this time. He told me that he didn't like that you were keeping this from him, especially since he thinks the car is gone now."

"That was our deal. Plain and simple: his technique at my expense. He agreed to it, and I'm only holding him to his side of the bargain."

"But Ryousuke, you are spending a ridiculous amount on that car now and the Project is over-"

"I'm not changing our deal now, no matter what he says, or what...happened. I didn't exactly go broke over Project D you know."

Fumihiro chuckled. "I know that. I'm just telling you about Fujiwara's feelings. He feels indebted."

"That's ridiculous," Ryousuke whispered. "I'm the one who should feel indebted. Not him."

Fumihiro pulled into the parking lot of one of their regular family restaurants. He cut the engine and looked over at his friend. "Ryousuke, why don't you let him pay for something then on our last trip? When you give him the car…he will _know_ you spent even more on it."

"No!" Ryousuke retorted firmly. "Absolutely not."

"Ryousuke, I'm in charge of the books. I can give him things to pay that he can afford. I won't show him the receipts for this; I know you wanted to do this on your own. But maybe he can handle small things for the Tokyo trip."

"If I allow you to start doing that, he'll only persist on nagging me about the overall cost of everything we've done over the last half-year. Do you think he will really be satisfied to pay something like the catering?"

Fumihiro considered. "I suppose not."

"Of course he won't. He may have a modest upbringing, but he's been working since he was twelve. He has been helping out with that business this whole time; he and his father only have each other for support."

"You're talking about something akin to pride, aren't you?"

"Yes. He doesn't come off that way, but his asking you about the money shows that he has it. He may want to contribute financially, but, realistically, he'd only be stunned at the cost and wouldn't possibly be able to afford anything significant. I won't do that to him, even if it means his pride has to suffer a bit. Too bad for him, because I'm not letting him pay a single yen. This was my game. Neither you nor I will ever have the same appreciation for money since we've never grown up worried about it. As long as I'm in charge of the team he drove for, I don't want him to worry about money. I only want him to worry about driving and getting on the best team possible. If he's thinking about how he's going to pay me back for things, it will only add more pressure when he will have to start dealing with sponsors."

"I understand. I'll keep telling him no. But, do you mind if I tell him to take it up with you next time?"

"Fine," Ryousuke agreed reluctantly.

"Shall we go in?" Fumihiro asked, unfastening his seatbelt and reaching to pull his keys out of the ignition.

"Shiko?"

"What is it?"

"Other than worrying about money, how…was he? How did he seem to you, otherwise, I mean," Ryousuke asked quietly.

"I'd say he was preoccupied."

"Great." Ryousuke raised his hand to the bridge of his nose. "I guess I'm the one who's more likely to break his concentration than the stupid money. Shit."

"Why don't you just call him?"

"I can't do that. I told him I would accept his answer, and I can't go back on that now," Ryousuke replied.

"But, don't you think it was a little hasty? Didn't you say you thought Keisuke said something to him? Maybe you could-"

"I can't, I said."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I've been nothing but a selfish bastard. Taking everything from him all the time; I need to step back."

Fumihiro furrowed his brow. "Did you force him?"

Ryousuke shot him a desperate look. "Of course not!"

"Then, what did you take from him, exactly, Ryousuke? I know you would never force him, so, if it was given willingly, how can you call it 'taking'?"

Ryousuke sat quietly, thinking. "I didn't force him, but obviously, I'm still not sure why he did what he did, and allowed me to do what I did; he admitted he didn't even know himself. So I feel like I took away his ability to refuse."

"Who says he wanted to refuse? You really think he's that weak?"

"Weak?"

Fumihiro chuckled. "Isn't it you and Keisuke both who like to tell me and Matsumoto that we're mistaken when we call him 'docile'? You think if he didn't want to do something that he would do it anyway? He does what you tell him to do when it concerns racing, but, really, do you think he'd be the type to just let you have your way with him?"

Ryousuke put his head in his hands. Fumihiro couldn't think of a time when he knew his friend to be so concerned about another person, other than his brother. "I don't know what's in that head of his half the time. I make educated guesses, but, for the first time, I thought I was seeing who he really was. He's not weak at all, but maybe I pushed too hard. Hell, I don't even know if he's the same as me. Weren't you the one who told me about his girlfriend? I just wanted to know the reasons why he would do this, and he couldn't provide them for me."

"So you think he slept with you out of some kind of sense of obligation? That doesn't seem right to me," Fumihiro observed. "If he was with you, it was because he wanted to be with you. Even if he's not 'the same' as you, that obviously didn't get in the way of things, now did it?"

"No. I guess not. But, it's moot anyway. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't be with him for any real length of time. I've got an heir to produce after all."

"Hmm. I think it's gone beyond 'if' you wanted to, hasn't it?" Fumihiro asked cautiously.

"Yeah. I suppose it has. God, Shiko, what the hell have I done? I'm fucking pathetic."

"You _did_ remind me that you're human too. So, welcome to the world of non-superhumans, Ryousuke."

Ryousuke chuckled, and looked up. "It sucks."

"Yup. But, you'll get over it. Don't you remember when that girl I liked in school started flirting with you and even giving her Valentine's Day chocolate to you, even though she was a third year like me and you were a first year? I thought I would die. Even though you didn't accept any of the girls' feelings back then, it didn't stop them from ignoring almost all the other guys in the school."

"Oh please. That was _one_ girl. And I knew you liked her, so I made a point to be especially cold."

"I remember. You made her cry."

"Well, she deserved it for going after me when she knew my friend liked her. Stupid girl."

"And, I got over it, even though, at the time, I was horribly jealous. The only thing that kept me from hating you was the fact that I knew you had neither the time nor interest in the silliness. You can get over this too."

"I don't want to."

"That's not terribly prudent of you, is it?"

"Hmm," Ryousuke mused, "as I recall, you managed to find yourself another girl that you liked even more once you got out of high school. Whatever happened to her anyway?" Ryousuke asked, shifting the conversation away from the prospect of "getting over" Takumi.

"Uh, well, you see," Fumihiro stammered, "she thought I was spending too much time with my car and my friends. She moved on."

"Ah."

"But, I've recently begun talking with someone, so it's fine."

"You have?" Ryousuke replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. I hadn't said much because even she knows that work and D are my priorities right now. But she's very understanding, and a career woman herself. She works in Tokyo."

"Really?"

"Yes. As a matter of fact, I'm considering a move to our company's Tokyo office..."

Ryousuke couldn't help but to sulk a little. "I don't look it, but I'm happy for you, Shiko. How did you meet?"

"Well, it's kind of embarrassing, but hers was one of the rirekisho my mother asked me to look over. I thought I'd never want to be a part of something arranged like that in this day and age, but, we're actually getting along. "

Ryousuke sulked a little more. "I guess it's only a matter of time before those damned portfolios start showing up on my desk at home. My mother's been dropping hints for a while now."

"Well, we're starting to be of that age."

"Yeah. Lovely, isn't it?"

"You probably won't be able to make excuses for very much longer, Ryousuke."

"No, I won't be able to avoid it."

"You know, you _could_ just tell them the truth."

Ryousuke laughed out loud. "Sure. What a wonderful headline in the society page that would be. Takahashi Sachiko, wife of esteemed Takahashi Ryuuichi-Sensei, collapses upon hearing the devastating news that eldest son Ryousuke refuses marriage and has taken a male lover. The Sensei could not be reached for comment because he was busy killing his eldest son. Yes, that would be perfect," he added sarcastically.

"Wealthy single girls everywhere weep," Fumihiro playfully supplied.

Ryousuke laughed again, but Fumihiro knew that, behind it, his mind was probably mulling over a million other things like marriage dossiers, his brother, and his Takumi who was no longer his . "Honestly, I'm glad there's someone you like. Sorry I've been keeping you so busy."

"Don't worry about that."

Ryousuke's face fell a little.

"Shiko, he's all I think about," Ryousuke whispered. "I know it goes against everything I've ever done or everything I'm supposed to be doing, and I don't even care. I am a mess."

"I think, Old Friend, that you're suffering from a condition very common in the world of non-superhumans."

"Hmpf."

"You're hurt. I daresay that the great Takahashi Ryousuke has had his heart broken."

"I don't have a heart," Ryousuke replied without much conviction. Fumihiro could see that his eyes were watering a little, and Ryousuke hastily put in some eye drops to cover it.

"You're allowed, you know. I won't spill it that you actually have feelings, Ryousuke. No one will ever know."

"What the hell should I do? I should have never let this happen."

"Call him."

"And say what? Decide for him? That I have decided I won't accept that he doesn't want to be with me? Should I say that I've decided he's the one I want and no one else can have him? Should I get down on one knee and propose?" he asked with a wry chuckle.

"You like him that much?" Fumihiro breathed.

"Yeah. And I've screwed it up. Well, it's not like I can realistically have what I selfishly want. This was probably for the best anyway."

"You really are not yourself lately, that's for sure," Fumihiro commented. "I don't think the Ryousuke I know likes to walk away from a challenge. Just call him and talk to him. He'll listen to you. If after that he still wants it to be over, then at least you will know that it's truly what he wants, and not some reaction to whatever Keisuke may have told him, because, right now, it seems to me that's exactly what it was."

"Yeah. I'm sure it had something to do with it. But if I reconcile with Takumi, I have Keisuke to worry about all over again, and already I feel like I'm losing him again. I can't go through that another time."

"Keisuke's not a kid anymore. He'll deal. And, for what it's worth, why don't you try to make yourself happy for once. You really want to give up, and I _quote_ , 'the most mindblowing sex you've had in your life' so easily?" Fumihiro added playfully.

Ryousuke cringed. "Oh, God, did I really say that out loud?" he asked with a groan.

"Yeah. You did. Face it, Ryousuke, you love him. A lot."

Ryousuke opened the car door. "I hope you brought your wallet, because I don't remember the last time I ate, and you're buying."

Fumihiro knew that was about as close to an admission he would get. There was no doubt about it: his friend was in love. 'What a pain,' he thought as he got out of the car and took several quick steps to catch up with Ryousuke. They entered the restaurant, and Fumihiro decided that there would be no more talk about Fujiwara for now. It was up to them and them alone.


	27. Chapter 27

Akagi Summit, Friday, 2AM

"Keisuke-san, I think I'll call it a night," Kenta said quietly after a mostly uneventful night of runs on Akagi.

"Huh?" Keisuke replied, leaning against the side of the FD. "Sorry, I wasn't listening. What did you say, Kenta?"

Kenta frowned. "I said I'm going home."

"Oh. Okay," Keisuke answered, finishing his cigarette.

"Keisuke-san," Kenta ventured again.

"What?"

"You all right? You've been kind of, well, 'off' lately."

Keisuke scowled. "Like _you_ are in a position to criticize _my_ driving, Idiot!"

"I'm not talking about your driving!" Kenta shouted boldly. "I'm talking about your mood lately!"

Keisuke recoiled a bit. There was no reason for him to snap at Kenta, but he was always conveniently _there_. Keisuke wondered why the guy stuck around to take the crap he always threw at him. "Sorry. I've had a lot on my mind and it doesn't have anything to do with anyone."

Kenta knew that Keisuke's personal life had been largely placed on hold while he focused on driving, but he didn't think that Keisuke's recent quiet demeanor had anything to with a girl like it did the last time he saw his mentor wear a similar expression. So what was it? Was he upset because D was done and he's wondering about the contracts? Kenta didn't know, but he thought he should be familiar enough with Keisuke by now to at least ask.

"Are you thinking about what team you'll be joining now?"

Keisuke looked upward toward the sky. "Kenta, if you had any idea what I've been thinking about for the last few days, you'd probably faint."

"Eh?"

"Never mind. Forget it," Keisuke muttered, reaching for the door handle of the FD.

"We're not friends, are we, Keisuke-san?" Kenta asked, and even Keisuke could hear the disappointment in his tone. Kenta was often annoying, and often a royal pain in the ass, but he was genuine and, truthfully, he didn't totally suck at driving. Keisuke realized he probably was what a normal person would call a friend. Until he bought the FD, the only "friends" Keisuke had were people who were too scared of him to be his enemy. "Friends" were either bought, sold, or beaten into the role when he was in the motorcycle gang, and Keisuke knew that friends like those could be easily bought, sold, or beaten by rival gangs. Other than, and this was a big _maybe_ , his right-hand Toshiro who had gone legit like him, and a couple of other guys, there hadn't been anyone Keisuke would have called "friend". "Brother", yes, because it was what he called those of equal standing in the gang. "Subordinate", yes, for reasons that were obvious. "Friend", no. Never.

He mused upon how loosely he threw around the term "brother" back then, in an effort to forget that he had a real brother who was at home, busy being the "favorite son". When Ryousuke had taken him for that suicide run in the FC, Keisuke had decided that the word "Aniki" would never be used for anyone other than Ryousuke ever again. It had been a small first step, but it had been the right one.

Keisuke lingered before opening the car door and took a look at Kenta who was staring down at the pavement. Keisuke suddenly recalled that it was he, himself, who had persuaded Ryousuke to allow Kenta on the Red Suns. Although he had a sneaking suspicion that Ryousuke had been watching the S14 driver anyway, it was the first time that Keisuke had voiced his own scouting opinion to Ryousuke. Ryousuke made a point of grudgingly accepting, but Keisuke wondered now if that was all an act. Knowing Ryousuke, he'd set the whole thing up for Keisuke, thinking his otouto needed a friend that wasn't his Aniki. Jerk.

"Knowing Ryousuke" was a concept Keisuke had been struggling with these whole several days spent without speaking to his brother. What did it really mean to "know" him anymore? As the days had worn on, dragging under the weight of the tension between them, Keisuke was slowly coming to realize that he did still know Ryousuke best, even if he hadn't known everything. Would that really be enough? Could he really say that Ryousuke could be his own person? Could he accept that Ryousuke wanted to love someone other than him?

Aniki was supposed to be all the friend Keisuke needed, but, now, Keisuke was beginning to realize that there would come a day in which the brothers would have their own private lives, and that the other wouldn't necessarily be included in all aspects of them. The thought saddened Keisuke a bit, but he knew now that it was part of growing up; Ryousuke wouldn't be living down the hall from him forever. In fact, he'd be leaving sooner than Keisuke preferred. Keisuke had no idea where Ryousuke was moving to _exactly,_ but he'd be far, and he'd be gone. The distance didn't really matter.

Perhaps Keisuke should take this as a signal to start including people like Kenta as a "friend" after all. And maybe, it was time to start considering someone as "more than a friend" too. The thought of Kyouko briefly passed through his mind, and he recalled how Kenta, Fumihiro, and Tomiguchi had been there, in this very lot, witnessing the cold way in which he refused to accept Kyouko's confession that she liked him. He really had been too harsh, but he didn't have a choice, not when Fujiwara was tearing up Akina every damn day. Fumihiro had asked him if what he said was really okay, and Kenta had looked almost forlorn, the way he was looking now. Keisuke supposed that those three guys were his "friends" after all. He sighed, and shook his head a little. Neither he nor Kenta had walked away, nor had they said anything. Silence was never a favorite of Keisuke's, so he finally responded to Kenta's question as to whether or not they were friends the best way he knew how.

"Look, Kenta. It's not like that. It's not a matter of friends or not friends. You're not bad, I can deal with you." Though he knew he should have said something more than that, Keisuke figured that was enough.

Kenta brightened a little, knowing that was about as close to an admission of friendship he'd probably ever receive from his idol. "You know, Keisuke-san," Kenta began, "even if I'm not your brother, you can still bother me if you want."

Keisuke had opened the car door but he didn't get inside. A breeze passed over the summit, and he could hear a stray empty coffee can clatter across the car park. "Actually, it's _because_ you're not my brother that I've been hanging out with you more lately."

Kenta's eyes widened a little. "Has Ryousuke-san really been that busy with his studies that he can't even hang out with _you_?" he asked with surprise.

Keisuke chuckled a little. "Yeah, he's been busy all right. Honestly, I haven't talked to him because I just can't do it right now. But, I'm starting to feel really stupid about that."

"Keisuke-san...are you and Ryousuke-san-"

"We had a fight, and I haven't been speaking to him. But, it's over now, and I've just been sulking, trying to figure out what the hell I should do. That's all you're gonna get out of me."

"Okay," Kenta replied, shocked that something had happened to cause the normally close brothers to be arguing for days. Sure, Kenta had seen Ryousuke get pissed with Keisuke, and Kenta thought Ryousuke was particularly hard on his little brother as compared to how he was with Fujiwara, but it normally passed over quickly. He wasn't sure of any time that he was aware of a disagreement between the two brothers going on for the better part of a week. Of course, Keisuke wouldn't be the type to make him aware of such things after all, but, for some reason, he opened up a little this time, and Kenta was glad for it. "You know, Keisuke-san, I don't always agree with Ryousuke-san. I think he's too tough on you."

"It's not about anything like that," Keisuke said, getting into the car and starting it up. "Just make sure you're in the stands when I race my teammate for the first time on a track."

"Huh?" Kenta responded with a confused look. Did this have something to do with Fujiwara? "Of course I'll be there. I'll be the loudest."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Thanks."

With that, Keisuke sped off leaving Kenta to stare after him. "What the hell is going on here?" he asked aloud to no one.

* * *

Takahashi Residence, 2:46 AM Friday.

Keisuke parked the car in the garage and closed the door. He alighted and made his way toward the entrance of the house, kicking off his shoes and heading straight for the refrigerator. He had his head inside looking for a snack and a drink when he heard light footsteps behind him.

"Ryousuke? Onii-san? Is that you?" came the soft voice of his mother.

Keisuke cringed a little, never liking to be caught by either of his parents while he was coming and going, liking being mistaken for his brother even less. 'What the hell is she doing up anyway?' he grumbled to himself. He retrieved some food and a bottled water and turned to face his mother as he closed the refrigerator. "Sorry to disappoint, Mom. It's just me. Ryousuke's at work. You should go back to bed." The sentences came out stilted and terse, as if he was talking to someone who was barely an acquaintance and not to the person who had given him life.

He started to walk past his mother who looked small, fragile, and a little older when she wasn't dressing up to impress the old man.

"Oh," his mother said. Things were always so damn awkward with her. On the one hand, Keisuke felt like shit because the old man made his mother cry, but on the other hand, she wasn't all that great for not ever sticking up for him when the old man used to whack him senseless with his belt. The reality was that Keisuke had no idea how to relate to her at all anymore. Ryousuke handled their parents for both of them, and that was just fine with Keisuke. But, Ryousuke would be leaving soon, and he'd be stuck with them. The thought pissed him off because he realized he left their parents for Ryousuke to deal with, just like everything else. He really needed to stop doing that, but Ryousuke made it so damn easy for him to simply leave those kinds of thing in his care. Damn.

Maybe he could try handling this strange pre-dawn encounter with that strange being called "Mom" himself for once.

"You sick, Mom?" Keisuke tentatively offered.

"No, I can't sleep. The house felt empty."

"That's because it was," Keisuke responded, not quite ridding his tone of sarcasm even though he tried.

"But you're home now. "

"Yeah. Aren't you lucky." Try as he might, Keisuke couldn't help but to be flippant with his mother. Truly, he didn't want to, but, he had no idea how else to be. He saw her eyes lower a little, and he recalled all those times when Ryousuke was gone and he could hear her crying herself to sleep in her room in the middle of the day over her husband's affairs. He put his snack down on the counter. "Mom, we don't really have much to say to each other, so, why don't you go back to sleep? You sure you're not sick? You, uh, need anything?" Keisuke was trying his best, and the words sounded so strange as they left his throat. He really wanted only to walk away. He hoped Mom would say "no" and go back to her room. Instead, to Keisuke's dismay, the woman just stood in place staring at him as if she'd never seen him before. It was uncomfortable.

Takahashi Sachiko felt the surprise wash over her that her younger son asked if she needed anything. She didn't know how to interact with her baby anymore, except to inquire about him to Ryousuke. Talking to her youngest son always brought out such feelings of guilt that only made her want to swallow more sedatives and forget the fact that she had gone along with her husband in his endless torment of their unplanned second son. She had always wanted another child, and maybe she "accidentally" let herself get pregnant, thinking her husband would come around and accept a younger sibling for their treasured Ryousuke, but the doctor never did. If Ryousuke had been a daughter, perhaps it would have been easier for the doctor to accept another child, knowing that her husband desperately wanted a son of his own. But, he had his Ryousuke, and Keisuke was not needed. Sachiko was not as strong as she should have been, not as willing to refuse to take her husband's lead as she should have been. Did she need anything from her youngest son? She didn't deserve to need anything from him, Sachiko decided, and her discomfort was overtaking her anew. Keisuke was a stranger to her, and she hadn't seen Ryousuke all week, and she wondered if her eldest was drifting away from her as well.

"Keisuke, has Onii-san been coming home every day?"

Keisuke felt his cheeks heat. It was always about Ryousuke. Always. 'So much for trying to be nice. Guess she's tired of looking at me. Fucking typical,' he thought, pissed that his efforts to be decent seemingly went unnoticed.

"How the hell should I know?" Keisuke snapped, reverting back to his more usual attitude. One try was enough for one night. Of course, he _did_ know. He stubbornly sat in his room until Ryousuke returned and then he promptly took off. Ryousuke had come home directly after work every day and, presumably, left only for work and class. Keisuke didn't think he'd been with Fujiwara again, and he had been thinking about how much he'd screwed everything up. "If you want to talk to him, call him. He'll be up."

"If he's at work, it's not my place to call him," his mother replied, "and you should watch your language, Otouto," she added with a little irritation that reminded Keisuke a little too much of himself for his own comfort.

"Tch. I'm trying to be as nice as possible, here, Mother. I'm going to go upstairs now," Keisuke announced. He was done.

"Will you see Onii-san when he arrives home?" Sachiko asked as her younger son grabbed up his food and drink.

"Maybe, maybe not. I don't keep tabs on him," Keisuke grumped, trying to make an escape.

"Keisuke-"

"What?!" he shouted.

"Otouto! Don't shout at your Mother!"

Keisuke laughed a little. It had been this way since he was a kid; Mother was the picture of a demure, soft-spoken wife when the old man was around, but she let her temper flare when he was out of the house. Why did his parents both have to be so fake? They were nothing like the "perfect couple" they showed to the masses when they went with their hands outstretched for hospital funding. "You don't need to scold me like I'm some little kid. Now, go back to bed, and let's just get out of each other's' way."

"Tell Onii-san to wake me when he gets home, please," Sachiko said as she began to retreat back to her room, apparently in tacit agreement with her younger son's desire to simply stay "out of each other's' way".

"Set an alarm clock for about 8:30 and tell him yourself," Keisuke replied flippantly as he made his way out of the kitchen. "I don't tell my brother what to do. That's yours and the Old Man's job," he remarked. However, as he said the words, he sadly realized that he actually _did_ tell his brother what to do. Maybe not in so many words, he never said "don't ever see Fujiwara again" or anything, but his feelings were clear, and, as Ryousuke said, he had done enough to get the response he desired. Now that he had it, it was not what he thought it would be. Seeing his brother that day, shaking, desperate, and on the verge of a breakdown had stayed with him ever since. He couldn't get it out of his head.

"You're so hateful, Keisuke," he heard as he nearly reached the stairs.

"I wonder how that happened?" Keisuke mumbled. He began walking up the stairs when he heard his mother speak again.

"It's my fault."

Keisuke stopped mid-step. What the hell was going on here?

"Go to bed, Mom."

"Keisuke-"

"I said go to bed!" he shouted and ran up the stairs two at a time. Once he had returned to the room tucked under the eaves of the house, he sat down on his bed taking a bite of leftover noodles and a drink of water. Keisuke thought about his mother's words, but he decided his brain was too full already. He had to do something about the situation with his brother or else he thought he might end up to be as crazy as the strange lady downstairs obviously was. He knew what he had to do, and he wondered if he had enough "suck it up" within him to carry it out.

The image of Ryousuke almost losing it in the kitchen played itself over again in his mind. Shit. He looked over at the clock and made his decision. If he left now, he'd be there in plenty of time, and he could get out of the house lest his mother try to speak to him again.

* * *

Fujiwara Tofu Shop, Friday, 4:00 AM.

"Oi! Takumi! Time to get up!" Bunta called from downstairs.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be right down," Takumi said; he had already been awake for quite some time. His habit of late, staring for hours at the imperfect ceiling of his room, had been keeping him deeply rooted in wakefulness. It had been a few days since he had _that_ conversation with his father, and he still wondered why things had basically remained unchanged between them. Takumi wondered if his father really did understand what it was Takumi _did_. Maybe he misunderstood everything, and that's why Takumi hadn't gotten the crap kicked out of him or why he hadn't been told he was a pervert or a homo or whatever.

 _No, he knows. But for some reason, he doesn't care. I don't get it._

He rose out of bed and trudged downstairs. He could hear his father packing up the Impreza for the tofu delivery, and he had been practicing like a madman every morning since his father told him a long practice would do him some good. He wondered if it really had, though, since he was still feeling confused and miserable. But, it couldn't be helped anymore. It was done with Mika, it was done with Ryousuke. All Takumi could concentrate on now was getting on a team and finishing Keisuke once and for all.

Takumi exited the shop and took his place behind the wheel of the Subaru, reaching out his hand for his daily cup of water.

"Don't spill it," Bunta cautioned.

"I won't."

"So, Takumi," Bunta made an attempt at conversation he hadn't bothered with for a few days.

"What, Dad?"

"You handle your little problem yet?"

Takumi felt his cheeks heat. He said nothing.

"You realize you will have to talk to him when you meet to go over contracts, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"You going to be okay with that?"

"Project D is business," Takumi replied flatly, using Ryousuke's words. He disliked their sound coming out of his own mouth as much as he disliked it when he had heard them from Ryousuke.

"Sure it is."

Takumi sat in the car, waiting for his dad to turn to enter the shop, but the shitty old man just stood there. "Is that all?"

"Yeah. I guess."

He may have said that was all, but Bunta remained beside the car. "Dad...?"

"Hmmm?"

"Was...what happened, uh, well," Takumi stammered.

"Look, Takumi. I don't care. I won't say it again. Do whatever, but get over yourself either way."

Takumi nodded and rolled up the window and backed the Impreza out of the parking space and drove off toward Akina.

A short while later, the tofu was delivered and the Subaru Impreza was careening through the corners of the Akina downhill. Takumi reached the midpoint of the course and his breath caught in his throat. Parked on the side of the road in a place that had become "a usual spot" was the familiar yellow FD with a tall bleach-blonde Takahashi standing beside it, smoking.

 _Shit. Just keep driving!_

Though his brain was telling him to floor it, his foot instinctively raised from the accelerator and the car slowed. Takumi came to a stop mere feet from the FD and sat in the car, leaving the smooth sounding engine to idle. He stared at Keisuke through the windshield like a hunter contemplating its prey. Did Keisuke want to break his brother's unspoken rule and battle him here, right before they were supposed to be signing? Takumi wasn't sure, but he secretly hoped that Keisuke had seen a little of what he could do with the Impreza, Keisuke himself having proposed he use it in that "End of D" rematch that never actually happened.

 _Stop. Even if Keisuke-san wants to have his little final battle with me, I don't. I'm not battling him. Not yet, no matter what other insults he throws at me. I'm telling him so too._

Takumi cut the engine and got out of the car as Keisuke put out his cigarette. Takumi closed the door, but stood beside the vehicle, ready to make a quick getaway if he allowed his temper to flare up in the form of a fistfight. Truthfully, he was in no mood to talk with Keisuke, but he had to admit the guy had guts to show his face to him at all after all the things he said. If he wanted a fight, Takumi supposed he'd have to give it to him, and likely, both of them would have some serious explaining to do for Ryousuke at the next meeting.

 _Then he'll really be disappointed in me. It would really be over then. Wait. It's already over. What the hell is Keisuke-san doing here?_

The early morning sun was barely upon the horizon, and a light mist was still in the air. As he looked at his rival, Takumi could tell that Keisuke probably hadn't slept; there were circles under his eyes, and he wasn't glaring at him with the level of intensity he normally had. Takumi didn't let down his guard, however, and he wasn't going to stand there staring at Keisuke forever. He still had a job to go to after all, unlike the younger Takahashi sibling.

"What do you want?" Takumi asked at length.

Keisuke studied the younger driver, looking at him from head to toe, from bedhead to half untied sneakers. His peachy skin was almost the same color as the hints of the first glimpse of morning sun through the fog, and his lighter than average hair was reddish when the sun's rays hit it. 'Yeah, so he's not bad, I guess, for a dude, but, is this really Aniki's...type? Do I really want to know?'

Was this _attractive_? What was it about this guy that had totally wrecked his Aniki? Keisuke didn't answer the mental posit, only continued to study Fujiwara. He could see that it was pissing him off, though, so he decided he should try to figure out what made him physically attractive to his brother another time.

"Did you hear me? I asked you a question, Keisuke-san. What the hell do you want?!"

 _He's already pissing me off. Why is he just standing there?! If he thinks he's going to beat me up for molesting his brother or something...Ryousuke wanted it anyway, didn't he? Ryousuke...why didn't you "handle" this? Damn. Damn! I can't expect him to do that. I need to handle things myself!_

Takumi's thoughts were interrupted by a tired sounding Keisuke. "I want to talk to you," he said evenly.

Takumi clenched his teeth. "I think you said more than enough the other day. If you want to talk to me, I'll be at the meeting. I'm going home." Takumi opened the car door and turned away from the older man, preparing to get inside.

"Wait," Keisuke said, taking a few long strides toward Fujiwara. Fujiwara spun around, causing Keisuke to stop short as he saw the expression on the younger man's face. It was serious, intense, and the kid looked royally pissed. He took a step back thinking that if this was a precursor to an angry Fujiwara, he might actually have to be impressed with the guy. 'All right,' he thought. 'You _are_ one tough bastard.'

"Fujiwara, wait a sec, all right?" Keisuke asked, trying to make himself sound more polite. He didn't think it worked because there was a fierceness in the eyes of the peachy-skinned-light-haired freak that told him the younger man was in no mood for bullshit. Keisuke started to wonder if this might be Fujiwara's "game face" behind the wheel. If it was, no wonder the guy never lost a race.

"What for? What happened to 'we'll settle this on the track' or whatever, huh?!" Takumi shouted, startling Keisuke. Had he ever heard Fujiwara raise his voice before? No, he didn't think so. It was strangely...interesting.

Keisuke chuckled a little, but a race wasn't the intention of his being there. Never one for patience, and feeling an empathic response to Fujiwara's obvious level of anger well up from within, Keisuke knew he needed to get on with things lest he become involved in a mutual ass-kicking with his rival. It pissed him off to realize it probably _would_ be mutual too, truth be told. "We will. But shut the hell up and listen to me for a god-damn minute!"

"Why are you here?! Why can't you leave me alone?! You here to beat the shit out of me or something?!" Takumi yelled the rapid fire questions as he slammed the car door shut, daring to go toe-to toe with the taller Keisuke. He'd had it. He was pissed, and he didn't have to treat Keisuke like an honored guest just because the guy liked to meet him during the tofu run.

'Whoa,' Keisuke thought, seeing the flare of a very hot temper in the eyes of his rival. Not too many people had the balls to get this close to him like that, or to directly challenge him like that. If he'd been a couple of years younger, he'd have let his own temper fly, no matter that his true intention for being here was to apologize. The thought of a mutual ass-kicking crossed his mind again, and Keisuke had the disturbing thought that if he were to be the eventual victor in such an event, that it would be a very costly victory, likely paid with currency in the form of split skin and maybe a broken rib or two. He took a breath, hoping that they wouldn't come to blows. He didn't want to have to explain to Ryousuke why his two Aces couldn't control themselves, and he thought Fujiwara should feel the same way. That was his hope anyway, so Keisuke stepped back, allowing Fujiwara the momentary role of aggressor. "Shut the hell up and listen," Keisuke repeated as calmly as he could.

"Well come on then. You want to have it out, so let's do it before I have to go to work," Takumi spat, not feeling like it was Keisuke's place to tell him to "shut the hell up" when they were standing on _his_ home turf.

" _You_ need to get back with my brother! Like, yesterday!"

 _What?!_

Keisuke didn't intend for it to be a demand, it just came out that way. He wasn't used to asking for things, especially not from the likes of Fujiwara, and even more especially _what_ he was asking for. But, the other option was the sight of his brother hurt on constant playback, and Keisuke had finally decided that was worse than the knowing of what went on between his beloved brother and the weirdo. He knew this was going to suck, it was already going horribly wrong. Keisuke could be called a hot-blooded wild child, yes. Diplomatic negotiator, no. That was always Ryousuke's job. 'Damn it, Aniki.'

Takumi remained silent, feeling his own stubborn streak rise to counter the combative nature of his teammate. Forgetting the fact that Ryousuke wouldn't want this, Takumi allowed himself to give Keisuke the full brunt of his frustration over the whole situation.

 _Where does he get off ordering me around anyway? Is everything supposed to be hunky-dory now that Keisuke-san has "allowed" it? No way. No. It was a damn mistake, and I'm not doing anything on his say-so!_

"You hear me Fujiwara? I don't care what happened anymore, just get on your god-damn cell and get back with him. Now!"

Takumi clenched his teeth again and rolled his eyes. "You can't be serious. _You've_ decided that your Aniki is missing his _whore_ already?" he seethed in a menacing tone that seemed to actually catch the younger Takahashi off guard somewhat. "How nice for you to be able to decide that for him."

The space-case had no idea how much his words hurt, but Keisuke thought he deserved it and the guy was right anyway. He supposed his own words hurt the younger driver even more deeply after all. "Fujiwara, everything's my fault, what I said to you, everything, so, just call Ryousuke and, well, _fix it!_ "

Takumi stared, narrowing his eyes. "What are you talking about? I'm sure I remember you telling me everything was _my_ 'fucking fault', and now you show up demanding that _I_ fix it? That's fucked up, Keisuke-san. I didn't exactly know what the hell I was doing, you know. There's nothing there to fix because it's not happening again, and you need to just keep your big mouth shut and forget it all."

 _Or I'll shut it for you and I won't care if you beat me to a pulp for it either because it will be worth it to deck you!_

"Look, you son-of-a-bitch! I'm trying to god-damn _apologize_ here! I'm telling you I was wrong and it's not often I suck it up like this, but when I'm wrong, I do get around to admitting it!" Keisuke hollered. He couldn't help it; the symbiosis that had developed between the two instinct-oriented racers made it impossible not to feed off of each other's' energy. Keisuke tried to figure out what to say next. Why couldn't his brain work like that? Why would it be so much easier to say it with a fist and explain later? No. He couldn't do that. If he struck Fujiwara, he could only imagine the hell Ryousuke would bring upon him; it was already hell enough not speaking to his brother.

"Well," Takumi seethed, "excuse me if I have a hard time believing that. You said it yourself. What makes me any better than anyone else your Aniki has fucked?!"

Keisuke cringed as his rival spat his own words back at him. "Fujiwara-"

"No. I'm going home, or we're going to have it out. Take your pick, Keisuke-san."

"Fujiwara-"

"You were tempted to beat the crap out of me before, so here I am. Try it."

"I didn't come here for that, you _dumbass!_ You think Aniki wants us to kill each other? I sure as hell don't want to be the one to tell him we had a god-damn brawl on the side of the road!"

Takumi recoiled a bit. He forgot to keep thinking of that. He wasn't thinking about anything, and it pissed him off that Keisuke actually spoke aloud of that decidedly unpleasant task first. This argument: was Keisuke...winning? The thought was unnerving because it reminded Takumi that Keisuke was indeed older than he was, and this was a hell of a place and time for Keisuke to try and demonstrate some maturity. He sure didn't let it get in the way when he had insulted him not even a week before.

 _Crap. I'm being stupid! Of course I wouldn't want to tell Ryousuke-san that we fought either...I need to get the hell out of here. Now. Just turn the key in the ignition and go._

"This isn't about him right now," Takumi replied, lowering his voice to something similar to his normal tone. "This is about you and me, isn't it?"

"You think if we fight he'd praise either of us?" Keisuke asked, lowering his voice to barely that of a whisper. He saw the eyes of his rival widen. Bingo.

"Then, I'm leaving," Takumi replied flatly.

 _He'd be disappointed in me. I know that. I don't want that. But I don't want Keisuke-san calling the shots either. Damn. Damn! What should I do?_

"Not before we talk."

"No!" Takumi shouted again. So he was angry. So he was being immature. So the hell what? He was younger after all. He was allowed to be pissed. He wasn't going to crash the Impreza. He wasn't _that_ stupid anymore, was he? God, he hoped not.

Keisuke put his hand on the door of the Impreza trying to keep Takumi from closing it as he went around it to get into the car. This was his last chance, Keisuke thought, or else he really would punch the kid's lights out. "Look, I said a bunch of shitty things that I shouldn't have said. I was pissed, okay? I was pissed at _both_ of you. But hear me out for a second."

"Why should I? You think I'm not already messed up enough? It's not like I planned what happened! I don't even know why the heck I did anything, or why _he_..." Takumi trailed off, a deep red hue coming to his cheeks which he could only hide by turning his head away from Keisuke, not wanting to give his rival the satisfaction of seeing it. "Just leave me alone!" he shouted, unable to control the heat of embarrassment nor the flush of anger much more. He wrenched the car door out of Keisuke's hands with adrenaline fueled strength and sat down in the driver's seat, fumbling with the keys.

 _It just...happened, so sue me if I wanted it, but it's done already! Go away before I punch you!_

"God, you _ass_! You're not even listening!" Keisuke retorted, deftly reaching into the car and plucking the keys from the ignition and tossing them several feet away by the FD. Fujiwara looked absolutely livid at the act, but Keisuke didn't give him a chance to say or to do anything. He crowded him in the space between the open door and Takumi's body which already had one defiant leg out of the car. "I'm trying to tell you, shit, I can't believe I'm saying this, but he was _happy_ when he came home. You hear me you _idiot_? He was happy after he and you...well, whatever you did! Do you think he's happy now?"

 _How the hell should I know? He didn't argue with me when I told him I needed to stop. You were the one who told me I didn't mean anything to him!_

"He doesn't need me to be happy," Takumi challenged, "you've known him your whole life, so _you_ make him happy!"

The two Aces locked eyes, and, in that moment, both could have admitted that Ryousuke was right; they were so much alike, struggling with the back and forth between anger and restraint, neither of them having perfected the balance.

Emotional. Physical. Stubborn. Stupid. They both had so much more to learn, from Aniki, from Ryousuke, from _him_. The two Aces needed the fulcrum Ryousuke provided until they were securely signed to a real professional team, or they wouldn't be able to call themselves worthy enough to compete together as pros in front of him. The see-saw that held Fujiwara on one side and Keisuke on the other didn't do anything but form a plank of wood on the ground of a schoolyard without Ryousuke in the middle. He lifted them both, and would give of himself to either side as he saw fit until that equilibrium, that balance, was to be finally achieved in the form of the Aces as professional drivers and his theory proved.

Keisuke sighed. This was going nowhere fast. He needed Fujiwara. Fujiwara needed him. They both still needed Ryousuke. So, what did _Ryousuke_ need? Shouldn't his brother know best? Shouldn't his brother be the one to give Ryousuke what he needed, even if what he needed was... Fujiwara?

"I'm so fucking jealous of you."

"What?"

That definitely got Fujiwara's attention. Is this how far he had to go? Admitting _that_? Keisuke felt sick to his stomach, but he felt even sicker when he thought that if he didn't fix this, he'd never get over letting his brother _do_ everything, _be_ everything for him. It needed to stop. If Fujiwara refused to call his brother, Keisuke could at least tell Ryousuke he laid it all out on the table.

 _Jealous? Of what?_

"You heard me. I'm not saying it again, either. You think I didn't _see_ how much of his attention you and that _dinosaur_ of a car of yours got? You think I wasn't _irritated_ at first that you got Matsumoto as your chief? You think I didn't get _sick and tired_ of seeing the data of that hachi-roku plastered on my brother's computer day in and day out since last fucking _year_?!"

Takumi was silent. Maybe that was a good thing, Keisuke supposed. Maybe the kid was thinking, maybe he was calming down; Keisuke didn't know. He'd never seen this side of Fujiwara before, and it was surprising on so many levels. Truthfully, the only way he could think of handling him was to say things that would work on himself. Amazingly, admitting his jealousy made him feel better and not worse like he had thought it would. However, he didn't exactly have the time nor the energy to contemplate the reasons for that at the moment.

"You ready to talk now, Fujiwara? You'll have to get by me anyway to get your keys," Keisuke said carefully.

Takumi considered for a minute that felt extremely long.

 _All right, this is your chance, Keisuke-san. Say something to piss me off, and you will get decked. I swear it, even if Ryousuke-san will hate me for it._

"Say what you're gonna say, then get me my keys so I can go to work."

Keisuke exhaled. "Okay. All right, Fujiwara. This is the deal. I guess you told my brother something he didn't want to hear. Ever since, he's been a wreck. I've never seen him that upset about anything my whole life, and it's killing me because I lost my temper and caused it."

 _Upset? Ryousuke-san is...?_

Takumi looked down at his feet. 'Good. Maybe he won't deck me,' Keisuke thought.

"Ryousuke-san said he would accept my decision," Takumi began quietly, feeling a pang in his chest that Ryousuke was...what? Angry? Hurt? "You helped me to make it. Why are you telling me he's upset about it?"

"Because I feel like shit for not being able to let him be who he is. The only reason was because it was you that he," Keisuke hesitated, allowing the word to slowly form in his throat, "...liked."

 _Liked? As in...? Oh God...what the hell am I supposed to believe?!_

Takumi felt his cheeks heat again. Did Ryousuke truly like him like that after all?

"So?" Keisuke prodded.

"What do you mean, 'so'?" Fujiwara asked quietly.

"Do you _like_ my brother or not?" Keisuke blurted out, feeling a warmth briefly cross his own cheeks.

"Don't ask me that, Keisuke-san," Takumi whispered, though he felt his face betray his answer.

Keisuke was satisfied and walked away from the Subaru, bending his tall form down to pick up the discarded keys. His brother and the weirdo, and here he was playing some kind of cupid. It should have pissed him off, but, somehow, it didn't anymore. It was strange and creepy, and, naturally, he didn't want his mind to wander to just _what_ they might have done or might yet do with each other. But, if Ryousuke could be happy before he got married and became the expected person the old man wanted him to become, who was the otouto to get in the way? If this was what Ryousuke wanted, if this odd coupling was his happiness, then Ryousuke deserved this small slice of imperfect bliss.

"Here," Keisuke said, tossing the keys into Fujiwara's lap. "I don't think I like fighting with you. Not like this."

"Yeah."

"When we compete in a professional race, though, it will be different," Keisuke reminded his rival who looked more like his weird self again.

"Yeah."

Apparently, the hachi-roku/Impreza driver was also back to his usual one-word answers.

"Seeing how nasty your temper is, Fujiwara, I definitely won't be going easy on you," Keisuke remarked.

"Me neither," responded Fujiwara with a serious tone, the battle lines having now been drawn once again, restoring the fight between the two to being about driving supremacy and not about who had deserved Ryousuke attention more. Takumi thought he felt relief, but he still wasn't sure.

They both allowed the sentiment to hang in the air, only to dissipate with the mist that was finally beginning to clear with the sunrise.

"So you'll call him?" Keisuke asked softly.

"I don't know. I have to go; I'm already going to be late. I need to...think. And I suck at it," Takumi said, having lost the will to battle his rival, his friend, anymore this way.

Keisuke laughed. "You're not the only one who sucks at that."

Takumi looked up and saw that Keisuke actually had a real smile on his face. He tried to curl his lips into something like it, but he was sure it didn't quite translate because Keisuke began to walk away. However, as he started the car and Keisuke started his own, Takumi saw that instead of spinning and flooring it down the mountain, Keisuke pulled up to the side of the Impreza with the FD. "I do like that car, by the way. I know of someone who'd love to see you drive that thing seriously. I saw a little, and I might have to tell him about it."

"Huh?"

Keisuke chuckled. "Don't be surprised if you hear from him today."

With that, Keisuke did spin his wheels and about-faced the car. He floored it and was out of sight. Takumi gave him a healthy head start, knowing this was not the time to chase.

 _If I do hear from Ryousuke today, what the hell am I going to do? What do I want to do?_


	28. Chapter 28

Takahashi Residence, Friday 11:47 AM.

Keisuke opened his eyes. Once again, his body had managed to contort itself into another impossible position during his sleep, and Keisuke remained that way for a minute as the haze of quickly fleeting dreams met with the silence of his room. He rolled over onto his back and closed his eyes again, straining to hear any sounds emanating from within the house. He didn't, and he turned to look at his alarm clock. It was nearly noon, and Keisuke wondered if Ryousuke was home. It was Friday, so Ryousuke's night rotation should have ended this morning, and Keisuke supposed that, if his brother was home, he might take a short nap before getting right back to his studies.

Keisuke had learned all he had to learn from his early morning encounter with Fujiwara. He had seen a side of Fujiwara that startled him, especially since he could see himself in the younger driver's behavior. Ryousuke, naturally, had been right all along; the two Aces were indeed very similar. Keisuke himself had found Fujiwara's toughness interesting, and he assumed now that Ryousuke had always known it had to have been there behind the normally vacant eyes of the Ace Downhiller.

He also figured that, for whatever reason, Fujiwara probably liked Ryousuke as much as Aniki liked him. Of course, Fujiwara didn't say it outright, but he didn't have to. The look on his face had been enough. Keisuke would have never suspected Fujiwara swung that way, but then, he hadn't expected that from his brother either. He was so busy being pissed at Ryousuke's choice that he let his temper and emotions get away from him, and he forgot that his first response toward Ryousuke's confession that he preferred men was one of compassion. The more he thought about that, the worse he felt. He should never have been so harsh with his brother who, though belatedly, had indeed entrusted him with a very big and potentially very dangerous secret. And he had really said cruel things to Fujiwara; he only hoped that his rival would accept the apology, such as it was. That was another thing Fujiwara didn't say outright. However, Keisuke thought that, if he could get Ryousuke to talk to him, Aniki would be able to smooth over the many rough edges of the near-failure-apology. It would be okay. He had made the mental resolve not to interfere if this was what Ryousuke wanted.

As Keisuke leaned half out of bed to pluck a clean-ish shirt from nearby Mt. Laundry, his thoughts returned to a previously abandoned mental question: was Fujiwara attractive? 'Whatever,' he thought as he covered his upper body with a shirt that advertised his dislike of the Skyline GTR, the loathed car's logo surrounded by a circle and a slash across the proud letters, appearing exactly like the increasing amount of "No Smoking" signs he liked to grumble about if he discovered one in any new restaurant he wanted to try.

Obviously, he didn't know what guys would find attractive in each other anyway, having never given much thought to the actions of some of the guys who liked to fool around together as they all drank themselves into oblivion after a wild night out on their bikes. Keisuke didn't spend time on things that didn't have anything to do with him, but he wondered now if he should have paid attention to what would make a guy choose another guy anyway. After all, there were plenty of girls all over the place, and a lot of the ones who liked the so-called "bad boys" weren't terribly modest about it. What about Fujiwara would make his Aniki like him in _that_ way? Keisuke had no real idea. Besides, he mused, if it was Aniki, it was probably more about the mind than the body anyway, not that Keisuke would ever believe that Fujiwara was anywhere in the ballpark of Ryousuke's own brilliance. Maybe it was the ferocity, the passion that Keisuke had just discovered was barely beneath the surface with his rival. Ryousuke was usually calm and cool, but Keisuke had known him his whole life, and his brother certainly had his moments when the exterior dropped. He'd seen him pissed, he'd felt the harsh criticisms, the weight of his disappointment, but he had also seen the expression on his brother's face when he secured a big win, and he knew the passion for the street that his brother held deep within him. Perhaps, even deeper, was some previously buried store of emotion that Fujiwara had somehow brought out in Ryousuke by just being himself.

Keisuke thought back to the night of the battle his brother had against the hachi-roku. The atmosphere had been electric, as though even the night air knew something legendary was going to occur at Akina. Ryousuke must have sensed it too, and Keisuke wondered if it was instant attraction after all.

That part was still a mindfuck, though, and Keisuke really wanted his thoughts to stop right there. He certainly didn't want to envision his brother in _any_ type of sexual situation. That seemed so blatantly wrong, as though Keisuke thought his brother should be above giving into such things. But, they were both adults after all, and Lord knew Keisuke was definitely missing the touch of another person himself; he thought if he even laid eyes on Kyouko again he'd probably attack her. Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, she didn't come around to the final battles in Kanagawa, and Keisuke thought she might have forgotten him by now. Of course, they had travelled further and further away, so fans from their home prefecture of Gunma and neighboring Saitama, the place from which Kyouko hailed, weren't always able to make the trips. If Kyouko forgot about him, it was his own fault after all. He still had her number, and had found himself placing his thumb over the call icon on his cell phone from time to time. However, his preoccupation with Fujiwara had always kept him from pressing it.

But obviously, Fujiwara had differing ideas. He apparently found the time to have had a girlfriend, and now he had...what, exactly? An affair with Ryousuke?

And Ryousuke...

'Weird. Oh well,' Keisuke thought as he wrenched himself free from a blanket that had somehow found its way to twisting itself around both his torso and ankles simultaneously. He rued to himself that it was probably better he slept alone; it was obvious that he did plenty of thrashing around when he slept because every morning he awoke this way, in a tangled mess of covers, his body sometimes halfway out of the bed itself. His last girlfriend certainly made her displeasure over his restlessness known the few times when he'd snuck her back inside his Father's house, the act a blatant display of impropriety that, for some reason, only earned half-hearted admonitions from his Aniki. The reason for that suddenly dawned on Keisuke; Ryousuke probably figured it wouldn't be fair to chastise his otouto for sexual indiscretions when he had who knew how many of his own.

Keisuke shook his head and ran his fingers through his messy blonde spikes. He definitely needed to stop thinking of his brother as a sexual being because it was just so _wrong_.

He staggered out of bed and went to the bathroom. He'd done what he could with Fujiwara, and now the really hard part was to begin. He hadn't spoken to Ryousuke in days, and it was time to lay it all out for him.

It was time for Keisuke to let his brother be Ryousuke.

Keisuke quietly approached the closed door to his brother's room; he put his head to the door, trying to hear the familiar tap-tap of Ryousuke's fingers across the keys of a laptop. He didn't hear anything; perhaps Ryousuke was asleep. Keisuke knew that Ryousuke was inside, because the elder usually left his door open when the room was unoccupied. He decided to knock, knowing that he would likely not wake his brother with the sound because Ryousuke did everything with extreme focus, including sleep. In fact, it sometimes took several minutes for his alarm to wake him, and several tries from Fumihiro to wake him when they were traveling with D.

He knocked and waited a moment, and no sound came. With a soft, "Aniki, I'm coming in," Keisuke opened the door a little. He saw Aniki still as a stone on his back in bed, the covers nearly pulled up to his chin. He chuckled a little; even in sleep, his brother looked nearly perfect. Sure there was a barely-there hint of a day's growth in facial hair, and the bangs of his hair weren't quite immaculate as they splayed over his forehead, but otherwise, Ryousuke looked as though he was enjoying a soothingly deep slumber.

'I guess it can wait,' Keisuke thought to himself, not wanting to take sleep away from his brother, knowing that for Ryousuke to be in bed at this hour meant that the elder hadn't slept much at all over the last few days. He was probably "catching up" as he was wont to say. That, and the fact that Ryousuke wasn't always pleasant when he first awoke until a very strong cup of coffee could be consumed, assured Keisuke that his decision to let him be was the correct one.

As he began to slip out of the room, he heard a slight stirring. He paused and looked back toward the narrow twin bed his brother occupied, thinking of all the times he'd teased Aniki about not upgrading to a bigger one, only to be reminded by the elder that it would have been pointless since he rarely used the bed anymore anyway. Ryousuke wasn't yet awake but he had turned to his side, his arm now on the outside of the covers, laying across something, or someone, that wasn't there. The sight caused that sense of compassion to creep into Keisuke's being once again. He thought that his brother must have splurged on the bigger bed after all at some point, discreetly installing it in his two-room campus apartment, in another bedroom he rarely used for sleeping. Keisuke knew now that it had been Fujiwara as the bigger bed's other occupant, at least once, and that the phantom body that Ryousuke seemed to be searching for in his sleep had to be that of his rival. Ryousuke shifted again; his face now turned in Keisuke's direction and his other arm lazily touching the near edge of the small twin bed, seeking that which he didn't find on the other side.

Keisuke decided anew to leave his brother alone, and he began to retreat back toward the door; he hadn't even realized that he'd ventured further into the room at all. He took a step back, preparing to turn on his heel and creep out of the room.

"Keisuke...?" came a slightly hoarse and groggy version of his brother's low voice.

Keisuke turned around and saw that Ryousuke had opened his eyes and was moving to sit up in bed, running a hand haphazardly through his hair to smooth it back into place. The sight of him sent a shock of realization into Keisuke: Ryousuke really was human. He didn't look perfect at all. He looked like any other guy who was trying to drag his ass out of bed, rumpled and uncombed, unshaven, stretching sleepy muscles and shaking his head slightly to rid the last vestige of unconsciousness from his mind. These were the moments Keisuke had seen countless times, but only now did he _understand_ what it meant. Until now, only _he_ had seen his brother this way. Only in front of him would Ryousuke let himself be seen in a state that was, for all intents and purposes, unkempt. Until now, Keisuke was the only one Ryousuke kept that close.

But, Keisuke knew now that Fujiwara had been with his brother during a morning, and his rival had obviously seen his Aniki without even a stitch of clothing on his back, never mind the dress pants, button-up shirts and ties, or sport coats his brother liked to wear. For Ryousuke to allow Fujiwara into his bed, to share his body, to share the precious few hours of sleep he allowed himself to take...the significance of that was now as clear to Keisuke as the sun pouring through the sunny "prime real estate" that was his brother's room.

Ryousuke let Fujiwara see the real him, and, Keisuke realized, it was actually _okay_. It was even more okay than a vision of him waking up next to their cousin would ever be, or even that chick Kaori who ended up dead sometime after she and Ryousuke were together, that "something" which Ryousuke had apparently resolved to some level of acceptance with his FC. Keisuke hadn't known anything about that relationship, how long it lasted, or just what it was, only that, out of nowhere, Ryousuke attended a funeral alone and didn't come back for a couple days afterward. He had never said another word about it, and Keisuke had been content to let Ryousuke keep silent. Keisuke wondered now if that had been a bad thing to do, as if he'd said without words that he wasn't ready to accept that Ryousuke had real feelings for someone other than him. He ruefully thought that was probably true. Of course, Ryousuke would have understood exactly that without Keisuke ever having to say the words, not that Keisuke would have been able to conceptualize it at the time anyway.

'I am one idiot of an otouto,' he lamented to himself as he continued to watch his brother.

However, Keisuke was ready to accept it now, ceding to himself that it was indeed possible to share Ryousuke with someone else. Additionally, he had the crazy thought that maybe, just maybe, unlike Tsugumi, unlike Kaori, that his brother had finally found someone who was good enough for him.

Having seen the side of Fujiwara he had seen, Keisuke had to admit it; Fujiwara was probably the only one good enough after all. His reverie was broken by a slightly clearer and more alert version of his brother's voice.

"Do you need something, or are you going to stand there staring at me all,..." Ryousuke paused glancing at his bedside clock with an unabashed scowl, "...afternoon?"

"Aniki, I didn't mean to wake you up. Sorry."

Ryousuke stifled a yawn. "It's all right, I need to get up anyway," he replied flatly. "I guess I forgot to set the alarm," he added in a pissed-off tone, sending a death glare toward the small clock, as if it was the clock's own fault for not setting itself.

Keisuke chuckled a little. This was the real Ryousuke, a person who wouldn't even spare an innocent alarm clock from his more-than-occasional morning wrath.

"Since you're up, you should get some coffee in you before the clock ends up in pieces."

"Yeah," Ryousuke groaned humorlessly. He started to push the blankets fully aside to get out of the bed.

Keisuke took the chance. "Aniki, stay put. I'll get it, I know you keep a stash of coffee grounds in your desk, don't you?"

Ryousuke looked up and studied his brother. They hadn't spoken for days, and now Keisuke was offering to make him his morning, or afternoon, coffee. Ryousuke wondered if this was a peace offering, much like the fresh cigarette Keisuke had given him the week before after they had fought. He supposed that it was, and he nodded. He wasn't in a great mood, but perhaps letting Keisuke do this small chore for him would give him a chance to check to see if things could go back to normal between them. If that happened, Ryousuke supposed he would eventually be able to deal with the loss he felt inside, the ache that came, even in dreams, when he realized Fujiwara would not be sharing his bed again.

"Yeah. Bottom drawer."

"Okay."

Keisuke crossed the floor to his brother's desk and easily found the canister of ground coffee Ryousuke kept there. He looked around in the drawer for a filter. "Got any filters, Aniki?"

"Nah, the coffee maker has a wire one," Ryousuke said quietly, laying back on his pillow choosing to indulge in the maid service his otouto was intent on providing him. "Just put the coffee straight in."

"Okay, full pot?"

"Stupid question," came the smart-assed reply as Ryousuke propped himself up on one elbow to observe the coffee preparation process.

Keisuke chuckled again. "Prick," he said lightly, recognizing the tone his brother used as one that was subtly playful in its dryness, feeling more confident in his task ahead; Keisuke knew he was probably the only one who could detect such a thing. 'This can work. I can fix it with him.'

Ryousuke watched as Keisuke spooned some coffee into the small pot, mentally calculating the amount. When the younger closed the lid, Ryousuke frowned. There was no way that coffee would be strong enough.

"More," he softly demanded.

"Eh?" Keisuke asked, turning with confusion as he picked up the decanter to fill it with water.

"It needs more," he repeated nodding toward the canister Keisuke was about to close.

Keisuke made a disgusted looking face and re-opened the lid and began to spoon more coffee grounds into the small filter. "You drinking coffee or _sludge_ , Aniki?" he muttered.

"Sludge."

"Ick."

"Yeah. You got a smoke handy?"

"Huh? Am I your butler now?" Keisuke said playfully, reaching into the pocket of his sweats to retrieve the requested item and his lighter, and placing it into the outstretched palm now placed blatantly before him.

"Thanks," Ryousuke grumbled. He sat up fully again and opened the drawer to his nightstand, removing a small hand-held ashtray. Keisuke assumed he'd get up and go outside, but, to his surprise, Ryousuke lit up the cigarette where he sat and took a long drag.

"You're not going outside?" Keisuke inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"You can open my window for me," Ryousuke replied.

"I said I'd make coffee, not wait on you hand and foot, your Royal Highness," Keisuke grumbled as he tucked the coffee decanter under his arm and lifted the window exactly as instructed.

"Thank you," Ryousuke replied sincerely, frowning as he felt the hint of stubble on his chin. "I need to shave," he remarked absently.

"Coffee first," Keisuke called out from the bathroom as he filled the decanter with water. "You'll probably slit your own throat if you try something that dangerous without drinking your sludge first."

"Yeah."

They remained silent as Keisuke poured the water and flipped on the small machine. He still couldn't get over the sight of Ryousuke smoking indoors, in _bed_ , no less. If their mother came up she'd have a fit for sure; that was another thing Keisuke wanted to talk to his brother about. If Ryousuke was going to be leaving soon, then Keisuke would need to get some clue as to how to deal with their parents alone from him before he was gone.

"Okay if I smoke one too?" he asked.

"Why not?" Ryousuke assented tiredly, motioning for his brother to sit on the bed.

Keisuke lit his cigarette as Ryousuke put his own out and reclined on his pillows once again.

"Aniki..."

"I told you not to worry anymore, so don't," Ryousuke interrupted softly. "I'm just glad you decided to speak to me again."

"No, Aniki. It's not that. I was being stupid."

Ryousuke closed his eyes. "Keisuke, it was my fault for not telling you sooner about...things. I didn't keep it from you for thinking you'd tell anyone."

By "anyone", Keisuke knew that Ryousuke meant "Parents".

"I know."

"Okay."

Keisuke finished his cigarette, and waited for the coffee to stop percolating before rising again to fill one of the mugs Ryousuke kept at his desk with the sludge. Once it was filled with the steaming and sickeningly strong coffee, he approached the bed and sat down at the foot of it.

"Your disgusting beverage, Sir."

Ryousuke chuckled a little and sat up in bed again, somehow managing to be comfortable sitting cross-legged, his long slender legs neatly tucked under the bedclothes. Keisuke thought it might be his imagination, but was Ryousuke skinnier than normal? He looked it. But then, Keisuke usually didn't see him without several layers of shirts and such, so he half-dismissed the thought. It was certainly rare for him to see Ryousuke in a t-shirt and sleeping pants lately, but they weren't little kids who took their baths together anymore after all. So, how would he know something like whether or not Ryousuke was too thin anyway?

The two sat quietly as Ryousuke sipped his sludge and Keisuke pondered the question of whether his brother was eating enough in his mind. However, those thoughts were only postponing the inevitable. He had to bring up the subject of Fujiwara. Keisuke sighed and leaned back, his head nearly hitting the wall thanks to the pathetically narrow twin bed. His feet were still planted firmly on the carpet, and he was amazed that even half of his body could fit across it.

"You know, I saw something interesting out on the street," he began, hoping that some of the caffeine had already found its way to coursing through his brother's system.

"Oh?" Ryousuke asked, "Thinking of buying a new car?"

Keisuke frowned. "Of course not! With all the stuff we've done to the FD, that machine is about perfect for me. I mean I saw an interesting...driver."

Ryousuke took another deep sip of coffee. "I see. I take it that it's someone local?"

"You could say that," Keisuke answered cryptically, trying his best to mimic how he thought his brother would respond in the hopes that Ryousuke would show interest of his own. He apparently succeeded as he saw a slight raising of his brother's eyebrow.

"Are you here to get my opinion on something, then?"

"Sort of," Keisuke affirmed. "It's a good thing we aren't doing any more battles because think I might be in trouble if I were to race this guy."

That did it. He had Ryousuke's complete attention now, and all traces of sleep and ill-humor seemed to disappear from his Aniki in a flash. How could he give up racing when it was so painfully obvious that the mere mention of a skilled driver sent him immediately into analysis mode?

"It's not like you to say something like that, Keisuke," Ryousuke observed. "I thought I heard you remark that there was no one local who could even, and I quote, 'get you to scratch an itch'?"

"Heh. Yeah, well, I guess I was wrong."

"I wonder," Ryousuke mused, "with all of our excursions, if we've managed to miss some new local talent lately. To be fair, I really haven't been attending many local battles. Perhaps I should call around and see what's going on tomorrow night. What do you say to some scouting? Maybe we can find that 'interesting driver' of yours and have a good look at him."

Keisuke chuckled. "Hmm. I might be busy this weekend."

Ryousuke shot him a quick glance over his coffee mug. "So you're planning on keeping this new driver all to yourself, eh? I see how it is," he said coolly.

Keisuke almost choked. "Hardly," he muttered under his breath.

"Hmm? I didn't quite catch that."

"Uh, nothing. I just wanted to get your opinion on the best way to attack the car he drove with the FD. That's all. Maybe you could tap-tap your way to showing me some data on the model."

"Okay, now I'm definitely concerned. Any driver that has caused you to want to review charts and graphs on my computer is probably more than simply 'interesting'."

"I guess," Keisuke replied, rolling his eyes.

"Have we really overlooked someone close by?" Ryousuke asked almost to himself, and Keisuke could see the gears of his mind spinning, frantically going through all his mental data on every driver known throughout the Gunma Area, and probably beyond. He was probably going to be pissy if he thought he'd missed someone, so Keisuke figured now was as good a time as any.

"It was an Impreza that I saw."

Ryousuke immediately froze and looked at Keisuke, and he knew exactly the car he was describing, but he wondered if it had been Fujiwara or his father driving when Keisuke observed it. Though the confirmation question was unnecessary, he asked it anyway. "Was this Impreza driving on Akina by any chance?"

"Yeah."

Ryousuke sighed. "I thought I made it clear to you that I didn't want you to go there, that none of this was Fujiwara's fault. Despite that, I know you had words with him. And now, you tell me you went there again," he whispered.

"Aniki, I went there to-"

"Keisuke, this has been hard enough on him," Ryousuke quietly interrupted, "Please leave him alone about it. I told you that I'd be who you need me to be, or, is that not enough for you now?" There was a pained expression on his face that Keisuke hadn't wanted to see.

"Aniki, I went there to apologize. And I did that, well, I tried to."

Ryousuke sipped his coffee again, brow still furrowed. "It doesn't matter now. What's done is done."

"Sorry, Aniki, but you're wrong this time because I don't think that guy wants it to be done at all. I said some nasty stuff to him, Ryousuke. And I should be saying I'm sorry to you too for what I said, because I know that it's probably the only reason he told you he didn't want to, uh, well," Keisuke faltered a bit before recovering, "be with you like that."

Ryousuke put his mug down and unfolded his legs enough so that he could lay down. "Do I even want to know what you said to him?" he whispered.

"No. You really don't," Keisuke sheepishly replied.

"That bad, huh."

"Yeah. I hit a new low I think," Keisuke admitted.

Ryousuke exhaled. "Did he accept your apology?"

"Honestly, I'm not really sure. Hard to say with him."

"Yeah."

"I thought he was going to kick my ass, actually."

Keisuke expected to be scolded, but instead, Ryousuke just laughed a little. "Is that so?"

"Yeah. You might not believe it, but I was actually the more reasonable one, uh, in the end anyway. I admit I almost lost it with him too, though. He's so fucking weird, and, yeah, he's a tough little bastard."

Ryousuke said nothing, but his eyes were closed again and a little smirk came to his lips.

"So, I guess I can see it," Keisuke said quietly.

Ryousuke opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. "See what?"

"What you see in him, I guess. Sort of. Hell, what am I saying? Of course I don't know why you would find him...attractive. But, what I mean to say is, shit. I don't know what I'm trying to say except I'm sorry for being a spoiled brat who needs his big brother to be everything for him. When you leave, I need to figure out my own shit, so I guess I should start now and leave you alone for once."

Ryousuke sat up again and moved so that he was closer to Keisuke as he lay at the foot of the bed. He put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "No, Keisuke. You don't ever need to leave me alone. But, I think I understand what you're trying to say, and I thank you for it." Ryousuke knew that this was Keisuke's way of saying he wouldn't interfere anymore and he accepted it, despite the fact that there wasn't anything left to interfere with anyway.

Keisuke closed his eyes at his brother's touch and words. "Aniki, you do really like him like that, don't you?"

"Yeah, Keisuke, I do."

"Well, he does too."

Keisuke opened his eyes to catch the slight widening of his brother's dark orbs. "Yeah, I asked him outright just like I asked you. He didn't say anything, but he turned beet red, so I figured I had my answer."

Ryousuke got up and refilled his own coffee mug, his expression unreadable. "I'm glad that you apologized, but you didn't have to go and ask him something like that. He was already," Ryousuke paused, "unsure. He might have made the same decision anyway, even if you hadn't said anything at all."

"Yeah, but you would have had more time if I had kept my big mouth shut."

"I suppose. Excuse me for a minute."

Keisuke nodded and busied himself with another cigarette as he heard his brother washing his face in the bathroom, or maybe he was shaving. When Keisuke heard the shower go on, he went downstairs to get some water before returning to his brother's room and stepping out onto the balcony to smoke. Apparently Ryousuke needed more than a minute.

He supposed it went well, but he could tell that the elder was still upset. Shortly, the water was turned off and Keisuke went back into the room and sprawled out on the still un-made bed. Ryousuke exited the bathroom clean-shaven and with a towel around his waist; he pulled a t-shirt, shorts, and socks from his dresser drawers. Keisuke was sure that his brother, already of a decidedly slight build, was definitely thinner.

"You forgetting to feed yourself, Aniki?"

Ryousuke had already entered his walk-in closet with a frown that he'd had to pass by his brother undressed. "No, I'm not forgetting, Keisuke."

Keisuke could hear his brother toweling off and selecting clothes. "You look too skinny."

"I'll make a note of your opinion," Ryousuke replied dryly from the depths of his closet.

Keisuke let out an exasperated breath. "You should just call him you know. Tell him I'm a stupid idiot, and be happy like you were when you got home last weekend."

Ryousuke emerged from the closet wearing some of his more casual attire, a pair of khakis and a polo shirt over a t-shirt. "I'm doing no such thing," he said plainly as he re-entered the bathroom to hang his wet towels to dry.

"Why the hell not?!" Keisuke shouted. "I totally apologized! He was gonna punch me and I didn't lay a finger on him! Friggin' call him!"

"Keisuke, let's say I do that," Ryousuke countered, coming into the bedroom once again. "Let's say we continue to see each other. Don't you think it will be that much harder for me to leave when the time comes?"

Keisuke rolled his eyes. "Then don't leave."

Ryousuke gave him a look that told Keisuke that was obviously not an option.

"You like him. He likes you. You had fun, so have fun 'til then."

"It's not fair. It would be too selfish of me, and I understand that now after thinking things over these last couple of days. What I want and what is reality are two very different things. This is precisely why I never..." his voice trailed off as he picked up his mug to get a warm-up of coffee.

"Allowed yourself to care about someone?" Keisuke cautiously supplied.

Ryousuke sipped, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Yes."

"So now that you know you have feelings for the weirdo, you can just turn it off at will, then?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then, so what if it's only temporary. It's not like Fujiwara didn't already know you only had a year left before you had to move. He's dense, not stupid. You're always saying how similar I am to him, and, yeah, I could kinda see it when I talked to him. So speaking as someone who's also dense but not stupid, I'd rather have it for however long I could than not have it at all!"

"Enough, Keisuke. I appreciate what you're trying to do, believe me, I do, because I know this is still not totally comfortable for you. I understand that. However, it can't continue, and I should have never let it get to this point in the first place."

"You're human too, aren't you?" Keisuke challenged seriously.

"Keisuke-" Ryousuke breathed. Finally, it seemed like the younger understood that he was not even close to perfect.

"You're not a God, Ryousuke. Although I've probably worshipped you since we were kids, I know you're not. Anyone who's as moody and pissy as you sometimes get isn't perfect. I get it. But you're the best friend I have, ever will have. Don't grow up yet. Play."

"Keisuke, that's part of the problem. I don't want to play. I'm serious and it's scaring the shit out of me, and I'm no saint; I've played around enough to know the difference, okay?"

Keisuke felt his jaw hang open a little.

"Do you understand now? I've been an insensitive prick to just about everyone I've ever been with, and I was okay with that, because it was convenient for me, knowing that I could only do exactly as you say: play around until I have to grow up."

Keisuke still had a somewhat stunned look on his face.

"Don't look so surprised, Keisuke. I know Fumihiro told you things, and it's all true. But, it is different this time, and that's why it's dangerous."

"You don't think you can leave him, and you don't want him to leave you either," Keisuke declared. "That's how it is, isn't it?"

Ryousuke sat down at his desk and opened his laptop. "I don't have a choice," he said at length. It wasn't a direct answer, but Keisuke knew he'd hit the truth.

"Sure you do. Do what you have to do, then come back and pick up where you left off."

Ryousuke swiveled around in his chair. "You realize that what you're suggesting is incredibly selfish. Do you honestly think I could expect any person to wait a year or more? Not to mention that doing that will amount to giving our parents the biggest 'fuck you' imaginable?"

"Of course I realize that stuff. And, honestly, you'd probably feel a hell of a lot better giving the old man a heart attack. I know I'd love to videotape it."

"Keisuke, please. What about Mother, then?"

"She's halfway to the nuthouse anyway, isn't she? You don't need to take care of her, she made her own bed."

"I'm the eldest. I'm expected to see to our parents' needs. Telling them I plan to scandalize them is not an option."

Keisuke raked a hand across his face. "You know, Aniki, I used to think that it sucked to be the little brother. I used to wish that I could trade places with you, so that the old man wouldn't hate my guts and so that Mom wouldn't ignore me. But, that was kid stuff. I don't know how the hell you put up with everything. Our parents were lucky you were born first, because I would have said 'fuck this shit' a long time ago."

Ryousuke chuckled. "Street racing was the only rebellion I thought was worthy of the hassle. Now, I'm not sure if it's the only one, and that's why I need to step back. I don't want to shame our family."

Keisuke groaned. "This _is_ the 90s, you know. Even they have to realize that being, well, whatever you are, isn't any big deal anymore."

Ryousuke laughed. "Whatever I am, eh?"

"Yeah, whatever you are," Keisuke said sulkily.

"The fact that you can't even say it yourself should tell you that it most certainly _would_ still be a big deal to our parents," Ryousuke calmly pointed out.

"I guess." Keisuke had to admit that Ryousuke had a point. "Aniki, I'm, uh, curious. " Keisuke looked his brother in the eye, preparing his Aniki for a blunt statement. "What are you anyway? Bi?"

Ryousuke considered. "Just barely."

"That's the truth isn't it, Aniki," Keisuke commented thoughtfully.

"That's the truth."

"So, uh, what about _him_ then?" he asked cautiously.

Ryousuke took another languid sip of coffee. "If I had to guess, I'd say probably 'just barely' for him also, but on the total opposite end of the spectrum."

Keisuke gave Ryousuke a wide-eyed look.

"Don't even think of asking for details," the elder cautioned.

"Don't worry," Keisuke moaned. "I don't want 'em."

"Good," Ryousuke responded with a little smirk. "Honestly, I have no idea. For all I know, he's totally straight and had, well, an experimental moment. Perhaps."

"Heh. Sure. A moment that lasted all night. Whatever," Keisuke said with a wry grin. "Trust me, I'd never have a 'moment' that long if I didn't want to."

Ryousuke looked at him hard when he heard the words. "Do you really think so?" he asked, the earnest and almost hopeful expression he wore startled Keisuke. 'Yeah,' he thought. 'He's goddamn... _into_ the weirdo.'

Keisuke felt a bit of warmth come to his cheeks. This was not the kind of conversation he was used to having with his brother at all. Ryousuke had never talked about this type of thing with him, but Keisuke decided to go with it. They were brothers after all, and he assumed most other brothers probably talked about personal things, even sexual things, with each other. It was still weird though, given the dynamic, but Keisuke wanted desperately to try and understand. He didn't want Ryousuke to think that "shaming the family" included shaming _him_. No.

"Well, yeah. If it was me, yeah. If I wasn't into it, well, you know. Stuff wouldn't happen."

Ryousuke chuckled. "I suppose that's true."

"This is awkward," Keisuke blurted out stammering. "We don't usually talk about this stuff, I mean, shit. I-"

"Keisuke," Ryousuke gently interrupted, "I guarantee that this is about ten times more awkward for me as it is for you."

"Why?" the younger implored, though he thought he might already know the reason.

Ryousuke sighed. "I've never been very good at giving the big-brother advice in this department. In fact, I'm fairly certain that you've got more experience than I do."

 _"Aniki!"_

"What? We're being perfectly frank with each other, aren't we?" Ryousuke asked, nonplussed.

"I guess..." Keisuke half-heartedly responded. It was so bizarre to talk like this with Ryousuke, but he resolved to do it.

"And, I've been keeping this a secret for so long, that I'm not sure I even know how to talk about it freely. I hope you can understand that."

"Yeah. Well, even if it's him, you're still my Aniki."

Keisuke saw a smile cross his brother's lips, the one he saw when he won battles and made his brother proud of him on the street. "Thank you."

"Anyway," Keisuke continued, wanting to push aside the feeling of discomfort he often felt when getting such genuine feeling from Ryousuke, "you could always have a marriage of convenience or whatever they call it couldn't you? They're going to pick some girl for you anyway eventually, right? You could still have a relationship, you know, on the side."

Ryousuke frowned. "Absolutely not."

Keisuke nodded. "I knew you would say that, but I'm just saying, then everyone would be happy."

"Not likely. I wouldn't dishonor my wife that way, nor would I keep Takumi as some kind of 'mistress'. We have enough of that in this family already," Ryousuke replied bitterly. They shared a long look that said all that needed to be said on that point.

"Takumi, eh?" Keisuke remarked, hearing his brother slipping in and out of calling Fujiwara by his given name. "You really are thinking of some way to pursue it, even if you say you aren't."

"I've thought. It's impossible. I _will_ get disowned for sure."

"Let's forget about the old man for half a second," Keisuke groaned. "What about the two of you? It's not like you don't have a phone. It's not like Fujiwara couldn't figure out how to email you. It's not like he couldn't get in the car and visit." Keisuke saw Ryousuke look away for a moment. "Unless...he _wouldn't_ be able to get in the car to visit you." He let the statement hang in the air.

"He'd have to take a plane," Ryousuke finally admitted.

Keisuke recoiled. "So you are going far, aren't you," he asked, but his tone was that of a declaration.

"Yeah. I'm going to be pretty far away. I didn't want you to worry while D was still ongoing, but, since we're finished, you should know this too."

"Well, I kind of figured as much anyway. Who do you think signed for all those registered letters from America?"

Now it was Ryousuke's turn to be startled. Truthfully, he'd assumed that their housekeeper or their mother had signed for the letters that came to the house when he wasn't home. He had no idea that Keisuke had seen any of them at all. "Keisuke? You knew?"

"Not for sure, but I guess I saw the writing on the wall that you wouldn't be getting letters from a foreign country for nothing." Keisuke could see that his brother was surprised that he wasn't ranting and raving about it, however Keisuke knew that indeed was his initial response when he signed for that first letter from the U.S. Only a fist-sized hole in his bedroom wall remained to testify to his anger and frustration, and, thankfully, his brother never noticed it; it was, hidden, almost, behind a hastily affixed bumper sticker. He had blamed Ryousuke for choosing to entertain offers from foreign schools until he took it upon himself to realize that it was probably nothing more than one of their father's ridiculous demands that Ryousuke was expected to meet.

"It wasn't my idea," Ryousuke offered.

"Well, that much is obvious," Keisuke returned with a scowl. "I wish you would tell him where to go and what to do when he got there."

"I can't."

"You should."

"I know."

After a few seconds, Keisuke ventured to ask the dreaded question. "When?"

The asked sighed. "I plan to wait until the last possible second. Looks like around the second week of December, since the semester starts right after the first of the year over there."

"Where?" Keisuke asked blandly.

"Michigan."

"Meesheegan," Keisuke repeated, not quite getting the pronunciation correct.

"Yes."

Keisuke then put on a wide grin. "Leave it to you to choose a school near the birthplace of the assembly line. Heh."

Ryousuke smirked, still in partial disbelief that Keisuke was remaining so calm. "Well, I admit, the prospect of being able to attend the Detroit Auto Show piqued my interest. And, it would be interesting to see how they play the game over there. But, honestly, the medical school there is quite good, and the city is not too large."

Keisuke sat up. "Don't tell me you're planning to race over there!" he breathed.

Ryousuke laughed out loud. "Don't be ridiculous," he chided. "I won't have the time for it," he added with a somber tone.

"Ah, well, it's nothing but a power game over there anyway," the FD driver replied, trying to offer something of a consolation.

"But, don't think I won't try to check out the scene there, if there is one. I'll report everything back to you, Keisuke."

"You'll let me visit, won't you?" Keisuke asked.

"As long as it doesn't interfere with your training. You'll be very busy come springtime, you know, once you get snapped up by a good team."

"You sound so sure of it..."

"It's a 100% certainty for you. For...both of you."

Keisuke looked down at the floor. "What about you? What do you get out of any of this except bullshit?"

"I get the satisfaction of knowing that my Aces will be the biggest thing to hit the professional racing world in ages, and that my otouto will continue to share that life with me."

"And Fujiwara?"

"I'll be able to watch him too, of course."

"Is that enough?"

"It will have to be."

Keisuke was thoughtful again. It was so unfair. To a casual observer, it would have looked as though Ryousuke was simply "passing the torch" onto his Aces, but Keisuke knew that it went so much deeper than that. Ryousuke was the only person in his family he trusted, the only person that he knew for sure loved him and cared for him. Ryousuke probably loved Fujiwara too, as crazy as it was.

"I'm sorry, Aniki, but that doesn't sit right with me. When do you get to do what you want?"

"I've done enough."

"Well, you have until December, don't you?"

"Yes," Ryousuke replied, knitting his brow as he saw the look of mischief cross his brother's face. "What are you planning?"

"Not planning, but maybe suggesting."

"I'm listening."

"Move out now. Pack your shit, call Fujiwara and have him get one of the trucks from his work over here, and say you're going to live at your apartment to finish out the term."

"I can't."

"Why the hell not?"

"I will only officially move out when you're secured professionally and ready to go out on your own. End of discussion."

Keisuke couldn't ignore the relief he felt, but he had wanted to push harder. He was about to strongly retort but he caught "the look" and thought better of it. "End of discussion" certainly meant end of discussion. "You still have til December, so why don't you call him? If you lay it all out for him, make sure he understands it will have to be over then, he can decide for himself. I know I forced his hand, Aniki, I _know_ I did. So, please, if you won't do it for yourself, do it so I'll shut up about it because I won't until you call him."

Ryousuke sighed. "So stubborn, Otouto."

Keisuke rose and walked over to where Ryousuke sat in his chair. He reached across the desk and grabbed his brother's phone and indelicately smacked it into his hand. "Call him. You know you want to."

With that, Keisuke exited the room and went into his bathroom. Ryousuke heard the water in the shower and decided he needed to take a long drive to clear his head.

'What the hell am I thinking?' he chided himself as he got his things together and took off in the FC.


	29. Chapter 29

Fujiwara Tofu Shop, 4:16 PM Friday.

Takumi parked the Impreza in its usual place beside the shop, and gathered his cap and cell phone before preparing to go inside. He finally had received a text from Mika. By some miracle, she wasn't angry with him anymore, but it didn't do anything to really assuage Takumi's guilt over the whole crappy situation.

As expected, the storefront was unoccupied. The shop was busy in the mornings, but seldom in the late afternoon; casting a brief glance to the cases, Takumi took note that they were nearly empty. He supposed his father had a good day for the business, and that was always a good thing. He took off his shoes and slid open the door to the residential part of the shop, the sound of the television greeting him.

"Tadaima, Dad," he called without really looking, turning to head up the narrow stairs for a much needed shower. Working for the moving company always left him sweaty and gross, but, Takumi actually appreciated the fact that he didn't have to spend money on a gym membership; going to work was pretty much like getting paid to work out.

"Ah. Welcome back," Bunta said plainly. As he saw his son make a beeline for the steps, he called out to him. "Takumi. Before you go upstairs, come here for a minute."

 _What now?_

"What is it-" Takumi began, but he stopped short. Sitting as plain as day on the low table was one of the plastic food prep canisters. Inside the canister was a dozen red roses.

"So you finally noticed, eh? I thought they'd be pretty hard to miss, but then, it _is_ you," Bunta grumbled.

 _Oh. Shit. 'Don't be surprised if you hear from him today.' That's what Keisuke-san said to me. Oh, God. What should I do?!_

"What are those?" Takumi whispered, feeling the heat come to his cheeks.

"What do they look like, Moron?" Bunta replied calmly.

Takumi remained silent.

"There's a card for you," Bunta continued.

"For... me?" he stammered.

 _Shit. There's only one person I know who sends roses. Why did you have to send them HERE?! Well, I guess it's better than getting them at work. Wait. Is it?!_

"Well, they certainly aren't for _me_ ," Bunta groaned. "Here," he added, sliding a small envelope across the table.

"Who...brought them?" the son cautiously asked.

"They were delivered."

"Oh."

Takumi couldn't shake the sudden paralysis he felt. What did Ryousuke want?

"Are you going to read the card, or are you just going to keep standing there like an idiot?"

 _I can't. I can't face him. If I see him, I'll want to...be with him, and I can't do that!_

"I'm not reading it. Do what you want with the flowers; I'm sure some nice lady would give you points for them," Takumi said darkly, resuming his original plan to disappear into the shower.

"Get back here!" Bunta bellowed.

With a cringe, the son obeyed.

"Sit your ass down," Bunta commanded. Takumi sat, the sweet scent of the flowers flirting with his nose. He glanced at the card; the kanji of his name was written in flawless penmanship. He knew that writing. He knew they were from him even without the confirmation the card provided. "Don't you think you've let this sulking bullshit go on long enough?" Bunta asked quietly.

"I don't really care."

"Liar."

Takumi scowled.

Bunta sighed. "Well, then, I guess I'll just have to see for myself just who is sending my son such a _romantic_ gift," he said, placing his cigarette in his mouth and reaching for the note card.

"No!" Takumi shouted, snatching the card up and stuffing it as best he could into his shirt pocket with hands that were suddenly and inexplicably sweaty and shaking. He knew he was blushing, too, and he certainly didn't want to look like that in front of the shitty old man.

Bunta chuckled. "Fine, have it your way. I guess we both know who they're from anyway, don't we?"

 _Crap. He could have called. But, he probably knew I wouldn't be able to answer, or that I wouldn't know what to say if I did._

Watching his son, Bunta knew that the kid had it bad for this Ryousuke. His cheeks were flushed, and he was fidgeting like a schoolgirl. 'Idiot.'

"Well?" Bunta prodded.

"Well what?" Takumi snapped.

"Takumi. Just talk to the guy and get it over with, will you?"

"No. It was a mistake," he replied quietly.

"He's done this before, though, hasn't he?" Bunta asked casually, nodding toward the bouquet. "Strange guy, sending flowers to another guy."

"That's just how...he is," Takumi explained weakly. Certainly, there was probably no other guy he knew who would ever send roses to him for _any_ reason, but it just seemed to fit Ryousuke to a tee.

"Oh? Is that how it is with this type of thing?" Bunta mused.

"What type of thing?!" Takumi yelled. "There's no... _thing_!"

"Classy guy, this Takahashi Ryousuke, isn't he?" Bunta continued, ignoring his son's outburst. "But, he did look pretty fancy, so maybe he's like that. Although, his efforts are probably lost on you."

 _Shut up._

"Who says they're from him anyway?" the surly teen responded. "Maybe they're not."

"Sure, Takumi, if you say so," Bunta nonchalantly replied as he took a drag and went right on talking. "And these aren't the kind you just can pick up at the convenience store, either. How the hell did someone like you get the attention of someone like him, I wonder?"

Takumi remained silent, staring daggers at his father.

 _This is torture. Shut up, Old Man!_

"Well, if your driving got his attention, I guess he got curious about you as a person, though I have no idea why since you're such an idiot."

"Dad. Shut up."

"Watch your mouth," Bunta warned, taking a deep drag of his cigarette. "I'm still your Father, and you still live here, you know."

"Sorry."

The two sat silently for several minutes. Takumi looked at the flowers; they were very beautiful. They were probably insanely expensive. What the hell was Ryousuke trying to say?

I _t's probably in the card. But I'm not reading it. Especially not in front of the old man. It's bad enough he knows I'm a...not-straight person. There is really something wrong with me._

"I seem to remember you keeping the ones you got from him before until they fell apart," Bunta remarked, keeping his tone casual.

"I did _not_!"

 _He knew THAT?! But I hid them in my damn wardrobe!_

Bunta sighed again, putting out his cigarette and taking a drink before lighting another one. "How many times to I have to tell you that you suck at lying? I know everything about you, Idiot."

 _What do I do now?_

"If you get flowers, you should at least put them in water, you dolt. And dry them properly out in the air and not in your closet."

"I...I," Takumi stammered. "That time...it was a challenge for a race! It didn't mean anything then and it doesn't mean anything now. It was a _challenge_! I just kept them, because...I won."

 _Liar. I kept them because they were from him. I kept them because I was already conscious of him. Idiot._

"And this _isn't_ a challenge?"

Takumi stared at the floor, the smell of roses permeating his very skull.

"If I talk to him, I might...want to see him."

"So? You have to see him anyway."

"But," Takumi whispered, "I might..."

"Takumi, just because I said I don't care what you do doesn't mean I want to think about it."

Takumi felt like his cheeks were on fire. "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry I'm...weird."

"You've always been weird."

"I'm not calling him. I can't. It's...too complicated and I don't think I'm...that way."

Bunta considered his son's statement for a few seconds, taking another sip of his drink. "As much as that's nice for me to hear, I don't really believe it."

 _Great. He does think I'm..._

"If that's what you've decided," Bunta continued, "you should be man enough to tell him so. And if you decided something else, you should still be upfront about it instead of running away like some kid."

"Dad..."

"Go up and take your bath. I didn't know you were the type of person who would run away from any challenge. You're grown. With grown-up problems. Solve them yourself before the shop becomes a flower garden."

With that, Bunta opened his newspaper. Takumi stared at him for another minute before standing and heading up the stairs. When he reached his room he took off his uniform and stuffed it in the small laundry basket he kept by the door. He pulled the note card out and ran his fingers over his printed name before setting it down on his desk.

 _No. I can't do it. I'll want him to touch me. I'll want him to kiss me. And he probably doesn't want that. He can't want that._

Takumi turned on the water and stepped into the shower. As he bathed, he couldn't help the onset of the internal struggle. He wanted to see Ryousuke, but he was terrified. Takumi knew that if he heard that voice, felt the man's touch on his shoulder that it would be over and he'd probably end up on his back.

And, for what purpose? Ryousuke was leaving. He was going halfway across the world not to return for a year or more. So much could happen by then.

Also, Ryousuke would be expected to marry. He would be expected to have babies. There was no reason for Takumi to think he wouldn't. It was one thing for Takumi's own father to be aware of things, but, what about Ryousuke's parents? Did they know their son liked guys? Takumi didn't think so, if even Keisuke had been unaware of it until this whole thing happened.

Did Ryousuke really like him? Did he? He thought about the last time he was with Ryousuke. It had been so rough and frantic that Takumi started to wonder if what Keisuke had initially said was true, that Ryousuke had simply wanted to fuck him. Takumi also couldn't lie to himself; he had wanted Ryousuke to take him like that, he'd pushed the man to it after all. He had been so turned on by it, it frightened him that he could ever be that way, or that Ryousuke could lose his usual calm so easily. Takumi supposed that Ryousuke was a man too, and, he probably had his own limits of self control. It was actually both scary and exciting that Takumi could get the man to lose it with him like that.

But, even after that, Takumi had been reassured. As the hot water cleansed his body, he recalled the tenderness Ryousuke gave to him when he had bathed him, and how nice it felt to lean into his chest, and how secure he felt when Ryousuke had wrapped his arms around him, despite the personal shock he had felt toward his own actions.

When Ryousuke touched him...

 _Stop. He's not touching me anymore._

Before his body started to respond any further, Takumi turned off the water and dried himself. He returned to his room, put on a pair of shorts and flopped down on his bed to resume looking at the ceiling. Gradually, his eyes drifted toward the desk, and then, they finally closed in a doze shrouded in a haze of memories of Ryousuke kissing him, holding him tightly, sucking on his...

Takumi suddenly bolted up and grabbed the card off his desk and tore it open.

"Fujiwara: I will be at the Family's at the Maebashi Interchange at 6. If you can make it, I would like to talk with you. Ryousuke."

 _That doesn't tell me anything! Ryousuke, tell me what you really feel! Wait. He sent this to the shop. He wouldn't say anything like that in there! Should I go? Or, should I call and say I won't go?_

He looked at his alarm clock. It was already 5:30.

"Shit!"

Before he could even think, Takumi threw on some jeans and socks, grabbed a t-shirt, his wallet, and his phone and bolted out of his room. He was half-way downstairs when he remembered something.

He went back to his room, opened his desk drawer and looked at the sunglasses Ryousuke gave to him. He put them on.

"So what if I want to. So the hell what," he muttered to himself and dashed downstairs again.

"So you're going," Bunta remarked as Takumi slid on his sneakers and reached for the Impreza keys.

"Yeah, I'll be back in a little while."

"Don't bother," Bunta deadpanned.

"Eh?" Takumi replied, standing with a confused look on his face.

"Tomorrow's Saturday. Sleep in. Now, get out of here before I change my mind about getting up for the deliveries."

"How are you gonna do that without the Imp?"

"I'll ask Masashi to loan me that little truck again. Now get the hell out of here."

Takumi's face flushed, but he didn't have time to hate himself for it. There were some times when that Shitty Old Man was definitely cool.

"Thanks, Dad."

Bunta heard the engine of the Impreza come to life, then the car was out of earshot in seconds.

"Idiot."

* * *

Family's Restaurant, Maebashi Interchange. 5:57 PM.

Ryousuke was typing on his laptop sitting in a booth in the rear of the restaurant he often frequented with the people from his preferred world of racing. Naturally, he would rather have asked Takumi to come to a more upscale restaurant for the private conversation he wanted to have, but he figured Takumi might get intimidated by that. Most racers liked to eat at family restaurants as part of their intrinsic culture, so he assumed Takumi would have spent plenty of time at such places with his Speed Stars friends. Ryousuke hoped that he would be comfortable speaking with him.

5:58.

He couldn't deny that he was nervous. He'd arrived early to make sure he wasn't late; his afternoon drive, as usual, helped him to put his thoughts in order. He would tell Takumi exactly the situation, and let Takumi decide for himself once and for all, but he resolved to get a decision, come what may.

As the moments ticked by, Ryousuke was also wondering if Takumi would come at all. He'd already decided he'd stay until seven to be sure, but he hoped it wouldn't come to that. He checked his phone; it was on, and there were no missed calls.

5:59.

Ryousuke took a sip of coffee and closed his eyes. 'If he doesn't show, then I guess I have my answer,' he thought to himself. He opened his eyes and looked toward the entrance of the restaurant. No one had come in. He looked at the time display on the laptop and on his cell phone.

6:00

He took another sip, feeling that same tightening of his chest, the ache that had followed him every day and night since he received that call from Takumi; it had felt like weeks had passed and not mere days. Although he was happy to have Keisuke speaking to him again, and ecstatic that Keisuke was trying to understand him, the world without Takumi was decidedly a world incomplete.

'Foolish. You have to get used to that regardless.'

Ryousuke raised his eyes toward the entrance of the restaurant once again; a family was coming in with cheerful smiles on their faces. A father, who was obviously thrilled to take his family out altogether, spoke to the hostess. The woman, a mother, tightly gripped the hand of her youngest, a boy who appeared to be about five. Rounding out the group was an older girl who appeared to be about ten, trying her best to act like a lady while walking beside her father with absolute adoration in her eyes. Ryousuke wondered if, when the time came, he would have a child who would look at him that way, or if he would simply not be around enough either to notice such gazes or to earn them in the first place.

He didn't even want to have a child. He didn't even want to have a wife. He didn't want to drive a Benz. He didn't want to smell like antibacterial soap. He didn't want to smell like perfume that belonged to someone other than his wife.

He didn't want to have sons who hated him.

With a sigh, Ryousuke realized he'd been basically staring at this unsuspecting young family; the husband was probably no more than ten years his senior. Which meant, the daughter might have been born to him when he was exactly Ryousuke's current age.

6:02.

Time was running out so quickly in so many ways.

He glanced at the entrance once again, in a last look before returning to his work. Nothing. Would staying another hour really serve any purpose at all? No. It probably wouldn't. Ryousuke was about to flag his waitress over for the check when he heard the door to the restaurant open once again.

There he was. Always barely on time, or a minute or two late. Ryousuke should have expected as much.

'My God. He's here.'

Ryousuke drew in a breath at the sight of his downhiller. He was wearing the sunglasses, and was pulling them off. Other than that, he looked as he normally did in a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Ryousuke saw him walk over to the hostess. She motioned with her hands and Takumi's gaze followed her outstretched finger. Ryousuke raised his hand a little, and he saw a look of nervousness pass over Takumi's beautiful face. 'Please don't look so nervous. I'm nervous enough for both of us.'

When Takumi approached, he seemed hesitant, but calm. "I'm a couple minutes late. Traffic," he said quietly.

Ryousuke stood. "I'm glad you're here, Fujiwara. Really glad," he said quietly. "Please, sit down."

Takumi sat, saying nothing and setting his phone, keys, and the sunglasses on the table.

 _Whenever I see him I want everything else to go away. Then it wouldn't matter that I want to see him._

Ryousuke looked at him for a few seconds as he closed his laptop and put it away in its case. Takumi seemed far away. "Have you eaten?" he asked gently.

"I'm not really hungry, Ryousuke-san."

"Okay."

Ryousuke didn't even notice that his waitress had returned. He felt himself snap back into reality as the young girl gave Takumi a big smile. Ryousuke felt himself smirk involuntarily. Of course girls would find Takumi attractive. Takumi had a girlfriend too, Ryousuke reminded himself, so he obviously didn't have any trouble in that department despite how shy he was.

"Can I bring you gentleman your menus?" she asked with a flirty tone, her attention obviously captured by Takumi, though his young driver seemed not to notice at all.

"Just a refill for me, thank you," Ryousuke replied smoothly, tapping a finger on the coffee cup.

"And for you, uh, Fujiwara-kun, was it, if I recall correctly?" she said lightly, beaming from ear to ear. Ryousuke raised an eyebrow; it seemed Takumi and the Speed Stars had indeed come here before, and he found himself to be a little perturbed that the girl knew his name. 'Get it together, Takahashi. He's not yours.'

"Coffee is fine for me too," Takumi replied with barely a change in his expression, and his voice even.

"I'll be right back, then," the waitress replied, with a light bow.

"So, you come here often, I take it?" Ryousuke asked, emptying his cup in preparation for the refill to come.

 _Shit._

"I guess. With Itsuki and the Senpai; we sometimes end up here."

"Ah. So that's why the pretty waitress knows your name. Pretty bold, isn't she, Fujiwara- _kun_?" Ryousuke asked playfully.

 _Crap. But, he seems relaxed. Just go with it. Just get this over with and go home and die._

"That's only because Itsuki and them tease me all the time with crap like that, and they're always making fun when it comes to girls. I don't really get it, but oh well."

"I suppose it's because you probably get plenty of attention when you go out."

"Eh? I don't even go out that much!" Takumi retorted. "Don't say weird things like that, Ryousuke-san," he added softly, as if catching his own outburst, "because I really don't understand much about stuff like that."

"Sorry. I was simply pointing out a statement of fact. Anyone would notice you, Fujiwara."

 _Anyone? I don't care about anyone. I care about you. Stop thinking. Idiot. I shouldn't have come here..._

The waitress had returned and poured Takumi a cup of coffee and refilled Ryousuke's. "Anything else, gentlemen?"

"Some time to enjoy our coffee will be fine," Ryousuke answered smoothly, subtly signaling that he didn't want her to return immediately.

The waitress shot him an inquisitive look, but she said nothing and took her leave.

Once Ryousuke was sure that she wasn't coming back, he decided to start the conversation in earnest. "Fujiwara, please accept my apologies for everything that has happened. I take full responsibility. Additionally, I hope that you can accept Keisuke's apology as well."

Takumi shot him a look as he put a little sugar in his coffee and stirred it. "I guess I should have known Keisuke-san would say something about this morning, but, why are you apologizing to me too? I thought I told you not to do that. You didn't do this all on your own."

Ryousuke sighed. "Fujiwara, I hope that you don't think I took advantage of you in any way. I-"

"I'm not a girl you know, so stop treating me like one. I'm not _totally_ clueless," Takumi interrupted curtly. "It's not like I haven't slept with someone before, because I have you know," he blurted out, immediately wishing he hadn't. He knew he was blushing like crazy, but thinking wasn't coming easily when he was sitting so closely to his mentor.

 _Why am I telling him THAT? Dumbass!_

Ryousuke chuckled a little. "That's not what I meant, Fujiwara," he said softly. "I didn't mean to infer that you were naive. Sorry."

"Stop saying that."

"All right."

The two sipped their coffee. "Ryousuke-san, I need to know something," Takumi ventured after a while. "Were you...angry with me for telling you I didn't want to see you?"

"Of course not, I told you the decision was yours. I only wish that you hadn't had words with Keisuke about it before he could cool down...I don't know what he said, but I know it upset you. He honestly feels badly about it."

"I'm not sure I believe that. I'm not sure what to believe," Takumi replied evenly.

"I think I told you that someday I'd tell you why Keisuke is the way he is. Maybe I should," Ryousuke said. Receiving nothing in response, he explained a little about the lack of attention and affection Keisuke had received growing up, and how it led to his troubled past. He touched briefly on the abuse. "You may think Keisuke is spoiled. He doesn't work, he doesn't want for any material thing. But, I'm of the opinion that he deserves it after the hell of a childhood he went through at the hands of our Father. Keisuke is still rough around the edges, though, so what he says and how he feels sometimes doesn't line up perfectly."

Takumi absorbed all that Ryousuke was telling him; he had no idea that Keisuke had such a rough time of it. It was hard to imagine a tough guy like Keisuke getting the crap beat out of him by anyone, but he supposed even rich people weren't perfect. But he was still unsure about Ryousuke's feelings, and he needed to know. Listening to him was already having a calming effect, but Takumi wanted to know where he stood.

 _Just what am I to you, Ryousuke?_

"I think if I hadn't talked to Keisuke-san, I think I'd still be fooling myself."

 _There. I said it._

"Fooling yourself?" Ryousuke repeated, unsure of Takumi's precise meaning, but not wanting to put pressure on him to explain if he didn't want to. He felt so distant from Takumi again, and it was agonizing.

"Yeah. I think Keisuke-san might have been right about some things."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

Another uncomfortable silence ensued. Ryousuke gazed toward the happy family he had observed earlier as they ate their meal, chatting and having what seemed to be a relaxing time together. He wanted Takumi to be relaxed with him, but so far, he definitely wasn't. Takumi was studying his coffee and he absently fingered his keys. Ryousuke wondered if he was about to leave.

"Keisuke-san...he said that you're the type of person who always does what he's told no matter what. Is that really how it is?" Takumi eventually asked.

Ryousuke exhaled. "I suppose I would have to agree with that assessment."

The younger furrowed his brow. "So, you'll have your own family someday, and take over the hospital, and then your kid will take over from you. Because your Dad says so."

"That's the idea."

"And, until then, you're just playing around," Takumi whispered. "I wish you hadn't played around with me."

Ryousuke closed his eyes briefly. "I wasn't playing with you."

Takumi's expression told him that he wasn't believing it.

"Is that what you mean by 'fooling yourself'? That I'd think of it that way?"

"Yeah."

"Fujiwara, this isn't an aspect of my personality I'm particularly proud of, but, I admit that I haven't been the most caring of people when it comes to my former partners. They were essentially meaningless, and that has been by my own design."

"Because you knew that it would be over someday?"

"Yeah. I'm an asshole, basically."

Takumi looked up and stared at him. He was so beautiful, even now, but the pain behind the deep hazel of his eyes was something Ryousuke never wanted to see. "Why didn't you stop me...?"

"I told you I wasn't playing with you. I wasn't. That's the truth," Ryousuke replied, keeping his voice low. "Being with you was never supposed to be like that, hell, I never thought I'd ever be with you. When you acted, I lost control of the situation, and I didn't care, because I wanted you then, and I still want you. That was selfish of me, but I won't ever forget what happened between us. Ever."

 _He still...?_

"But you'll still do what you have to do in the end, and that's how it is, isn't it."

"Yes."

There was really nothing else he could say at this point. There was no way to sugar coat it, and Takumi deserved the blunt truth.

Takumi seemed to be processing his response carefully. "How many have there been, Ryousuke-san?"

 _Shut UP! Why are you asking him that?! Didn't I get freaked out when Mika asked me?_

Ryousuke was taken aback by the blunt question, but, certainly, given what he had gathered from the line of questioning so far, it was more than fair. "Not many, but a few."

"All meaningless?"

"Very nearly all."

"Because of your family?"

"Yes, mainly."

"You're leaving because of your Father too, right?"

"Yes."

Takumi took a sip of coffee. "Ryousuke-san, what we did...wasn't meaningless for me. I felt things, I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. But I knew already you would be leaving. I guess I wanted to show you that knowing you has been important to me. Before you left, that is."

 _Geez, why don't I just tell him I love him or some shit! Stupid! He'll think I'm stupid. I sound like a girl. I should know better than to try and talk!_

Ryousuke felt some of the weight lift from him. "Fujiwara, this is why you are so valuable to me. Your instinct, and the things that happened because of it, gave me more than I ever could have hoped for. Because of that, there's no way I could ever tell myself that what happened was wrong, or that it had no meaning. Honestly, I do care about you, more than as a driver. As a person."

 _Huh?_

"Being with you was very different from the other experiences I've had. You're a very unique person. You're very attractive on a lot of levels," Ryousuke said evenly.

 _What?!_

Ryousuke felt his heart pounding. Never had he said something that was so completely honest to anyone he'd been with. How ironic that he got the nerve to say it to someone with whom he had no hope of it ever coming to pass.

"I don't think I'm anything special."

"I know."

 _I have to tell him about Mika-chan. I don't want to, but I have to. He's telling me personal things, things he probably wishes he didn't have to say. I can tell he's having trouble, no matter how cool he looks._

"Ryousuke-san," Takumi began, "I think I need to tell you this. I went out with Mika-chan the other night."

Ryousuke felt his chest tighten again. "I see," he said gently. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," Takumi said truthfully.

"Okay."

By this time, their waitress had returned to refill their cups, and she quietly left once again.

"It, uh, didn't go well," Takumi offered at length.

Ryousuke studied his downhiller. At this moment, Takumi's youth was glaringly apparent. He was shifting uncomfortably in his seat and he had that deep red hue to his cheeks. He was so tough, though, to be having this conversation, and Ryousuke had such admiration for that, and appreciation for how difficult this must be for him. Patience was what he needed, and maybe a bit of reassurance. Ryousuke hung on his every word, not wanting to miss anything.

"I see," he repeated, trying to keep his tone as neutral as possible. "Were you trying to...test something out?"

Takumi looked him in the eye with an expression that plainly said, "How the hell could you have known that?!"

Ryousuke let a smile cross his lips. "I did something like that once or twice some years ago. It's not an uncommon response, you know."

"You did?" Takumi whispered.

Ryousuke nodded. "Did you find your answer?"

"It didn't get that far," Takumi relented.

"Ah."

"I'm still not sure if I'm...I actually don't really know if I am or if I'm not. But, I'd be lying if I said I didn't...like what we did."

"Okay."

"I lied to you when I told you I didn't want to see you outside of racing. I guess I freaked out."

"Okay. Then I'll confess to a lie too," Ryousuke said soothingly.

"Eh?"

"When you said you didn't want to see me, I didn't want to accept your decision, but I did it anyway. If I had been truthful with you, and with myself, I would have denied the opportunity for you to make it."

Takumi looked down. "Ryousuke-san, do you remember the night on Akagi when I blew the engine on the hachi-roku?" he whispered.

The question startled Ryousuke. From any other person, he would have said that it had come out of nowhere and had nothing to do with what they were discussing. But, he had come to understand a little more of the "Fujiwara Speak" as Keisuke was wont to call it. This had to be important, and he had always been incredibly curious as to the circumstances surrounding that awful non-battle with Sudou Kyouichi.

"I remember."

"I wasn't thinking when I showed up there that night. I'm not really good at thinking."

"What happened was personal, wasn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Sometimes we all drive to get out some frustration. I do it, Keisuke does it. I think every street racer does that from time to time. That night, I had the feeling it was something like that."

"I went there because I was pissed off. I found out the girl I was seeing...was seeing someone else. For...money."

Ryousuke felt his eyes widen. That was horrible to hear. "That's pretty harsh indeed." His theory that Takumi had been racing with a form of adolescent rage had been correct after all, and, once again, Ryousuke was reminded that he had a few more years on Takumi. Poor kid.

"Well, whatever. That was done, but I was more mad at myself because I guess I believed in something that wasn't there, and, I was stupid enough to wreck the car over it. She and I made up after, but, it wasn't the same, and she eventually left for school in Tokyo. It seems like a long time ago now."

Ryousuke nodded.

"So, I would sometimes think about her, though, and I wondered if it was all a lie, or that I was just weird, because, after a while, I didn't really miss her too much. Then, we started traveling with D, and I was too busy to miss her at all. And I started to think that it was okay that she left, because, even though she did what she did, she was still my _friend_ , and I still remember her, and still think of her."

"I think I understand," Ryousuke replied. Takumi was trying to tell him that he'd been through his own bullshit, he'd had someone leave him, and he had accepted that. Suddenly, the youthful discomfort was gone, and that emotional strength a guy of nineteen shouldn't normally possess came through.

"Really?"

 _Because I don't even know what the hell I'm trying to say..._

"I'll be leaving in December," Ryousuke said plainly.

"I won't wreck a car over that."

"You've grown since then, Fujiwara," Ryousuke affirmed. Takumi didn't seem angry, just pensive. And, though Ryousuke didn't want to leave, at least when he did, he could probably leave on good terms.

 _He always knows me. Then he knows I want this. But he's letting me choose. He won't ask me. He won't. But, I know what I want, and I don't care about anything anymore._

"December's still a while from now."

"I suppose. Fujiwara, thank you for coming here tonight. I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision to make. I was going to try and explain everything, but I see you already understand plenty. I hope this means we're okay. We still need to meet with D to get you signed."

"We're okay for that," Takumi replied.

"I'm relieved."

"And, I guess you should thank my Dad. He kinda pushed me to come tonight, in his own way."

Ryousuke drew in a sharp breath. "Fujiwara-san?"

"Yeah. That's another thing I think I need to tell you. He...knows. I'm sorry. He won't blab, I promise. He's not like that."

Ryousuke tried to remain outwardly calm, but he was not expecting that. He knew he'd sent the flowers to the shop, but the note was innocuous. "I'm sorry, that...startled me. You told him, then?"

 _Yeah, right._

"More like he figured it out for himself," Takumi sheepishly replied. "I didn't plan for him to find out, but, he knows me better than anyone I guess."

"I see. Are you all right with that?"

Takumi shrugged. "He didn't beat the crap out of me, if that's what you mean."

Ryousuke chuckled. "Another thing I should be thanking him for."

 _Just do it. I want to, so do it._

"Do you mind thanking him tomorrow, then?" Takumi ventured.

Ryousuke stopped mid-sip before meeting the serious gaze Takumi was giving him. "Fujiwara...what are you asking me?"

Takumi looked away for a minute. "You know."

Ryousuke couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Should I get the check, then?" he asked cautiously.

"Yeah."

Ryousuke looked around and got the attention of their waitress. He asked for the check and left money on the table. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Unless, you have plans..."

"I don't have plans. You want to follow in your car?"

"Yeah."

The two rose and left the restaurant. Ryousuke had a hard time believing it, but it seemed that Takumi had come to a decision that he wanted this, despite that it would be temporary. Keisuke had been right about it after all, but Ryousuke wondered if this really was the right thing to do. He wanted it so badly it was pushing logic out of the way again, and there was a nagging notion that he was being incredibly selfish yet again. When they reached the Impreza, Ryousuke took in the sight of Takumi anew. He was wearing a pendant that had a polished stone that matched the color of his eyes, and his t-shirt and jeans fit loosely on his body. He was gorgeous.

"Those glasses really do suit you," he said. "Thank you for letting me see you wear them again."

"I like them."

"I'm glad," Ryousuke replied, leaning in more closely to Takumi's ear. "Is there any place in particular you'd like to go?" he whispered.

 _Being this close...I felt his breath. I can smell the shampoo he uses. I don't care about how weird it is. When I'm with him..._

"Your place is fine..." Takumi replied quietly. "So I'll follow you."

"Okay."

Ryousuke waited for Takumi to get in his car and start it. He rolled down the window. "I suck at directions, so don't leave me in your dust or anything, Ryousuke."

Ryousuke smiled upon hearing Takumi drop the "-san" from his name. He leaned over to speak with Takumi through the open car window, like he had done countless times before a battle. "Does this mean I can call you Takumi again?"

"Yeah," Takumi agreed, his cheeks flushed. "That's what it means."

Ryousuke tapped the roof of the Subaru lightly and walked toward the FC parked a few spaces away. He got in and brought the strong rotary engine to life. Glancing over at Takumi, he gave the signal that he was leaving. He pulled out of the parking space, the Impreza close behind.

"Pretty soon, you won't be following me in anything anymore, Takumi. You'll be way ahead," he said aloud to the back mirror as he eased the car onto the freeway. Once the lane was chosen, he picked up his phone and dialed.

"Yo," came the response from Keisuke when he picked up.

"Hello, Keisuke," Ryousuke greeted.

"Don't tell me you're on your way home already?!" Keisuke shouted. "Shit. I screwed it up more than I thought. I'm sorry, Aniki."

"Why do you insist on jumping to conclusions?" Ryousuke replied calmly.

He was met by silence.

"So, you smoothed it over with him then?" Keisuke asked after a few seconds.

"Yeah."

"So he's not mad?"

"He's okay."

"All right."

"Keisuke?"

"What?"

"Don't wait up, and don't call me tonight, okay?"

"EH?!"

"I'll be home tomorrow...sometime. Later."

He closed the phone with a smirk as he heard the word "prick" come out of it.


	30. Chapter 30

Campus Apartment, Maebashi. 7:35 PM.

Ryousuke signaled a turn into the front drive of the high-rise apartment and rolled down the window. He motioned with his hand to wave Takumi to pull up alongside the FC.

"You'll have to park the Impreza in the visitor parking, but don't worry. It's patrolled and monitored."

"Okay."

"Find a spot and I'll meet you back here at the front, okay?"

"Okay."

A few moments later Takumi returned to the entrance of the building. Shortly Ryousuke re-appeared from the lobby. "Did you get the parking tag?"

"Yeah."

"Let me have it so I can sign the car in properly."

Takumi handed Ryousuke the small card he had to pull from the parking gate. He followed as Ryousuke approached what looked just like a hotel front desk.

"I'd like to use one of my visitor spaces tonight."

"Apartment number, please?"

"933."

"Ah, yes, Takahashi-bocchama. That's no problem at all."

 _Bocchama...geez. I mean, I know he is one of those, but hearing it. It's weird._

Ryousuke inwardly groaned at being addressed that way, even though the attendant was simply doing her job. He cast a sideways glance toward Takumi who seemed uncomfortable hearing it too. Shit.

Ryousuke took out a pen and wrote Takumi's license plate number, make, and model on the parking card. "Thank you. This car is valuable. Please make sure that the patrols check on it throughout the night."

"Understood."

Ryousuke turned to the Impreza driver again. "All right. Don't worry about the car; I've parked the FC up there when I've forgotten my card for the structure. It'll be safe there."

"It's fine, Ryousuke."

"Good. And another thing" he continued speaking very softly, "I _hate_ being addressed as 'bocchama.' They only reason they do it is because my Father owns three units in this building, of which mine is the smallest. He donated the other two for visiting teaching practitioners for the University hospital."

"You really are filthy rich, aren't you, Ryousuke?" Takumi asked dryly.

Ryousuke chuckled a little. "Believe me, there are plenty of families of higher wealth and status than mine, a fact that my Father seems to single-handedly want to remedy. You could probably say we're big fish in a small pond. But, I personally don't give a damn."

"You say that, but you certainly have a lot of money," Takumi remarked.

Ryousuke rolled his eyes. "My Father does. He just happens to share some of it with me. I can't say that I'm not fortunate for that; D was largely funded by my Father's money after all. And, being the Takahashi Young Master does have its _occasional_ benefits. Your car will be watched over well because they wouldn't want to piss off my Father's eldest son."

 _Eh? I guess he means like getting what you want when you want it? Or that people do extra because of who you are, or that you can get extra because of who you are? Maybe. I don't really know much about rich people. Fumihiro-san sometimes says Ryousuke doesn't really seem like the bocchama he is. Ryousuke doesn't seem to care about it much. But he is a big deal I guess._

They walked toward the elevator. Takumi couldn't help but to think this place was more like a hotel, but he supposed when you paid top dollar for things, you got top dollar service. He was starting to wonder if all college students were as rich as Ryousuke if they lived here while they were in school.

"A lot of professors and people like that live here, and not too many students, Takumi," Ryousuke said, as if reading his mind.

"Really?"

"Yeah. The building caters to that segment of the University public."

"It's like you're two different people," Takumi mused aloud as they entered the elevator.

"Oh? How so?" Ryousuke asked.

 _Great. Now I have to try to explain._

"I guess what I mean is, when you're around the team, you're Ryousuke. But when you are around school, or here, or out in public, you're, I don't know, an important person. I mean, not that you aren't with Project D," Takumi stammered. "Shit. I don't know what I'm saying."

 _Dumbass._

"No, you're exactly correct," Ryousuke admitted quietly. "I'm expected to be a certain way when I'm in my 'family role', or when I'm at school or in my Father's home. When I'm with the team, I'm happy to just be the Ryousuke who loves the street."

"Is that why no one knows, uh, well..."

"Yeah. It's not exactly what my parents would want for me. But, that doesn't matter in this moment, does it?" he asked, leaning over and brushing his lips lightly behind Takumi's ear.

Takumi closed his eyes. "No," was all he could whisper.

"Good. Eventually, I'll get a place of my own when I come back, one my Father doesn't own. There are a few loose ends I need to tie up first."

"You have a lot of pressure," Takumi remarked. "but you never seem to let it get to you."

Ryousuke sighed. "Well, it does get to me, but, that's my problem, not anyone else's."

 _So you just do it all. All the time. Because that's all you've done all your life, I guess._

Takumi saw Ryousuke's expression darken a little.

 _Shit. Change the subject._

"I like it here. Even if you say it isn't that great of a place, I like it anyway. It's...comfortable here."

Ryousuke's demeanor brightened some, and he put his hand on Takumi's shoulder as the elevator continued to rise to the ninth floor. "I'm glad you feel that way."

 _I want to be with the real you. I don't care if it has to be a secret, or if it's only for a couple of months._

The doors soon parted, and the two of them walked down the hallway; Takumi was taking mental notes, forcing himself to remember the apartment number, because he hoped that this wouldn't be the last time he would stay here. He memorized every turn of the corridor, the number of doors from either end of the hall, and the distance between the elevators to the door, both the one from the parking structure they had entered from the first time, and the main elevator from which they had just emerged. It might as well have been a new race course, and Takumi treated it with the same importance. He watched as Ryousuke opened the door and disarmed the security system. He walked in and toed off his shoes and Ryousuke did the same as he re-set the alarm and, Takumi assumed, habitually put slippers on his feet.

Ryousuke stepped inside and turned on the lamp, even though the sun had not fully set. He set his keys, cigarettes, and phone on the table; Takumi followed him into the main room where Ryousuke stopped suddenly.

 _Is he changing his mind?_

"Takumi, if you're not sure, now is the time to say so," Ryousuke said softly.

Takumi said nothing and stepped behind his mentor, and tentatively slid his arms around Ryousuke's waist. Feeling Ryousuke's body relax, Takumi stepped closer, bringing his chest into contact with Ryousuke's back as he easily linked his arms together in front of the slightly taller, yet more slender body of the person he knew he needed in this moment more than he had ever needed Mogi or Mika, or maybe even any other person he had yet to meet.

"I'm not sure about much, really," Takumi honestly replied. "But, I am sure that I made a mistake telling you I couldn't do this. It's the opposite, and that's what freaked me out. I'm sorry. I guess I didn't think long enough."

Ryousuke sighed. "If Keisuke hadn't said the things he said to you-"

"I would have called you sooner to find out your work schedule," Takumi interrupted, signaling to Ryousuke that he had accepted Keisuke's apology and that the matter was closed. "Because I would not have wanted to waste the time I had before you left me."

Takumi felt Ryousuke's posture stiffen a little. "I have to go," he whispered. "Even if I don't want to, arrangements have already been made for it, to an extent."

"I know that. I always knew you would leave, and now you know I've been left before. But, the difference between you leaving, and her leaving...I was afraid that when you were gone, I wouldn't be okay with it, and that shocked me. Now, I don't care about that. I'll deal with it when it happens."

Ryousuke remained still and quiet. Takumi looked to see that Ryousuke was gazing off somewhere in the distance, something that he'd been known to do himself either for very good reasons, or for no reason in particular. Takumi understood that, and waited. He looked in the same direction.

Somehow the sun seemed to be hanging low on the horizon tonight, though only the colors of the sky were visible through the open curtains of the balcony door, and not the sun itself. Takumi thought it was waiting for Ryousuke to answer, just as he was. He wanted Ryousuke to say something, to turn around and press his mouth against his own so the sun could set and allow them to have the night. Those were the hours that Takumi felt he knew the real Ryousuke, the one who was free. Night was when they all engaged in joyfully breaking the law when they raced, night was when Takumi had first felt the reassuring touch of Ryousuke's hand on his shoulder after a win. Night was when he didn't think and he kissed Ryousuke in the FC; night was when he felt desire so strong that he had boldly wanted Ryousuke to show him everything he needed to know. Night was when he discovered the pleasure and pain of the body, and it awakened him to feelings for Ryousuke that were bordering on something he still didn't dare to name. Nighttimes meant they could be free from daytime's need for things like Ryousuke's discretion, and Takumi's own insecurities which he knew could be dispelled once the sun went down and he could belong with Ryousuke until the dawn came.

 _I will deal with it. I want you all to myself before I have to, though. I don't care if I'm not supposed to want it, or if that makes me gay or whatever weird thing. I don't care only because it's you. If even you...are that way, then what's wrong with it anyway? Don't change your mind! Please..._

The sun was being stubborn; it refused to set. Though the sky was growing from peachy pink to a deep indigo, Takumi knew it wasn't time yet. Takumi wished that he could make the sun refuse to rise instead, so that Ryousuke could always be free.

"Do you really think you're the only one who worries about being left behind?" Ryousuke asked quietly.

The question startled Takumi.

 _What does he mean? He's the one moving to America. I'm the one who might get forgotten here, right?_

"What do you mean, Ryousuke?"

"You and Keisuke have a whole world to discover, a world far more exciting and rewarding than the one I will be living in. I'll feel fortunate to be able to watch you two race on TV." Ryousuke paused, as though he wanted that statement to truly sink in.

 _TV? Will we go that far that you can only watch on TV?_

"Even though that's exactly as it should be," Ryousuke continued, apparently satisfied that Takumi heard him correctly, "there's a part of me that wonders if you'll remember the places we went together in Japan, when the entire racing world will be your playground."

"We only saw those places because of you, Ryousuke."

"Will you remember...everything, Takumi?"

"How can you ask me that?" Takumi whispered, thinking, no, _knowing,_ that Ryousuke wasn't talking only about Project D's many expeditions. His heart began to race, and he felt the heat come to his cheeks. He was already well on the way to remembering everything.

"Because," Ryousuke added, "eventually, it's you who will be leaving, not me."

Takumi drew in a quick breath. He had always thought that it would be more likely that Ryousuke would forget him, and not the other way around. Instinctively, he held Ryousuke more tightly, and, thankfully, he felt the elder relax again. The sun had finally set, and twilight was quickly fading. Soon, the night would belong to them.

"If I don't drive on Akina regularly, I feel lost and confused. I won't be able to go too far," Takumi replied. "I will still have to make deliveries until my old man retires, won't I?"

"I'm pretty sure you'll make enough money to hire your father a delivery person," Ryousuke whispered with a soft chuckle.

"Maybe. But I'll still want to do them when I'm in town. I'll need it, if for nothing else than to feel like I still have a home. I don't intend to live above the shop for the rest of my life, but Akina has to be at least nearby, or else I think I'll go crazy."

"Is that how you really..." Ryousuke's voice trailed off. He dared to hope that Takumi wasn't only talking about Akina, but he knew he shouldn't do that, mainly because he wanted so much for it to be true.

"Feel?" Takumi hesitantly supplied.

"Yeah."

"It's how I've felt about," he hesitated slightly, "Akina for a long time. I can't leave that behind." Takumi assumed Ryousuke knew that he wasn't just talking about Akina.

 _I'm crazy. He'll know, but I don't think he'll touch that with a ten foot pole. He knows he can't and I know I can't, so it's fine. I think. I hope._

It was a scary thing to even hint at, but he knew it was the truth; he felt like he couldn't be away from Ryousuke for very long either. Though he knew he couldn't be with him like this for the long term, he wanted to have it for however long he could. If he could remain nearby to Ryousuke, even though he'd probably rarely see him, even if this whatever-it-was were to be long over, Takumi felt that he'd have that sense of home by simply knowing Ryousuke was close, that he was a friend no matter what their separate lives might turn out to be like.

Ryousuke was trying to remain still, but he couldn't ignore his own quickening pulse. 'Oh God, why can't I just say it?' But, he couldn't. He'd leave it at talking about Akina, and, now that night was here, he could show Takumi everything that neither of them were saying aloud. Having Takumi so close, his arms wrapped around him; wasn't this the very definition of what coming home to someone should be? It was.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, giving into the warmth of Takumi's body pressed up against him. "Takumi, what do you want?"

The younger considered the question. "I think, Ryousuke, it might be easier if I tell you what I don't want, at least for when we're...here, or when we're alone."

Ryousuke opened his eyes, and put his hands on Takumi's as he loosened their grasp a little and turned to face his young driver, not wanting to miss any nuance, any inflection, any expression that crossed his beautiful face as he spoke. He leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips, gently brushing them. Takumi closed his eyes. "Come sit with me, then, and tell me what you 'don't want'," he said gently.

Takumi opened his eyes and nodded once, and his expression told Ryousuke that he already was carefully considering his words. They made their way toward the sofa and Ryousuke sat down. Takumi sat next to him, turning slightly so that he could see Ryousuke's face when he spoke, hopefully to pick up on any signals that he was saying the wrong thing so that he could quickly correct it.

"I'm not good with talking things out, you know that," the downhiller began, "so I'm sure it will come out all messed up. But, I'm going to say it anyway, the way it is in my head, because I think you will figure out what I mean better than I can say it."

Ryousuke chuckled softly again, and he looked relaxed again now that the sun had fully set. "All right."

"Okay."

Takumi took a deep breath, and gently raised his hand to the side of Ryousuke's face, brushing back a little of his coarse hair. Ryousuke closed his eyes, wanting to memorize every sensation, every motion Takumi made with the words he was about to say.

"When we're here, I don't want you to be the leader of Project D, so I won't feel like crap when I think about how much money I cost you with my car."

Takumi could see a frown begin to appear on Ryousuke's lips. His eyes were still closed.

 _No. It's my turn to talk. Oh God, what am I trying to say? Idiot. No. I need to get this out, and I need him to listen._

Ryousuke opened his eyes, and Takumi held up his free hand to prevent the obvious retort that was forming in Ryousuke's mind. "No. You don't get to argue with me about anything I say," Takumi asserted as calmly as he could, though he was always disarmed in his mentor's presence. He half expected Ryousuke to admonish him for bringing up the issue of money, but, instead, the elder only half smiled.

"All right. No arguments. Please, continue." Ryousuke was overjoyed to see that Takumi wanted so badly to tell him things, personal things about his feelings, and what he wanted, or didn't want. It was intoxicating. The sides of his Ace that he was learning about were so wonderful, so pure and deep, that he would not waste these moments by protesting. He could remind Takumi later that money was of little consequence to him where Project D was concerned. Now was not the time, especially when it felt so good to have that strong, warm, hand pressed up against the side of his head.

"Good," Takumi replied, and he leaned in for a light kiss which Ryousuke, apparently, didn't expect.

"Will I be rewarded that way if I listen quietly to every statement you make?" Ryousuke softly asked when their lips parted, surprised a little by the gesture, and he leaned his forehead on Takumi's, not wanting to lose the closeness.

"Maybe," the younger responded, blushing a little, the way he always did at the sound of Ryousuke's low voice, but keeping his head exactly where it was.

 _Okay. I can do this. I want to do...other things, but this is important. Think. Don't sound like an idiot!_

"So, when we're here," he began, absently gesturing with his free hand around the room, even though the two were only looking at each other, "you are not the team leader of Project D. I don't want that."

Ryousuke nodded.

"And," Takumi paused, "I don't want you to be Keisuke-san's Aniki, so I won't have to worry that Keisuke-san thinks I'm trying to steal you away from him. If you're not his Aniki when you're here, there's nothing to be stolen."

Ryousuke was taken aback, breaking contact only so he could see Takumi's entire face. It was serious. How could Takumi be so aware of his brother's feelings like that? He wanted to know, but he had promised to listen quietly.

Takumi saw Ryousuke's dark eyes widen a little.

 _I was right. Keisuke-san thinks I'm stealing his Aniki. Doesn't he know that Ryousuke will always be his Aniki? He's known him his whole life! How could he think Ryousuke would forget that?_

Ryousuke remained quiet, and Takumi kissed him lightly again.

"You with me so far?" he asked when he forced himself to pull back before he felt like his wanting to kiss Ryousuke more deeply would overtake him.

Ryousuke nodded. "I think I understand what you're getting at," he said quietly, and he was amazed. He might be learning about Takumi, but it was obvious that his Ace had learned a lot about him too. It wasn't so much that he had remembered the things they had discussed earlier at the restaurant, but that he had such an absolute understanding of all their meanings, and of all the things that had been left unsaid as well.

"Okay." Takumi took a deep breath, because he really didn't want to screw up the most important "don't wants" on his list. "I also don't want you to be a future doctor with annoying smart guy friends when we're here, because I know, even though you're amazing, that you hate it. My old man hates tofu, you know."

Ryousuke smirked a little. He knew that the fact he was blasé about being a doctor was probably obvious to pretty much everyone, but he was thrilled to hear that Takumi didn't care about how amazing a doctor he was supposed to become. He was one of the very few people, the people in Ryousuke's most intimate circle, who understood how much he truly hated it. But, adding that detail about his father hating tofu, showed that Takumi understood that sometimes people had to do what they hate, even for the rest of their lives. It was such a deep insight, deeper than perhaps even Fumihiro ever got with him, and certainly deeper than anyone else he had been with intimately, mainly because none of them were ever permitted to get this close. 'I think he knows the real me.' It was exhilarating, and frightening, just as being joined with Takumi's body had been. To find out that there was a mental connection developing as well...

Takumi leaned in, and before he realized what he was doing, he trailed his tongue over Ryousuke's lips, and the elder opened his mouth for a gently rolling kiss.

 _Stop. You need to tell him everything!_

Takumi pulled back again, and lowered his hand to the hand Ryousuke had in his lap. Ryousuke wanted to continue kissing Takumi, but he knew that the downhiller hadn't finished, and he didn't mind kisses as punctuation. At all. He would continue to sit quietly. Never in his life had he taken so much enjoyment out of doing what he was told.

Takumi raised his arms to Ryousuke's chest.

 _I can't stand this. How does he survive talking this much?! I think I'll do something else...too. Should I? Yes. I want to, so I'm doing it._

"What are you doing, Takumi?" Ryousuke whispered as he studied the movement of the hands on his chest.

"You are supposed to be quiet."

"Sorry," Ryousuke said with another smirk. He closed his eyes as he felt Takumi's fingers unbuttoning his shirt. 'You're killing me here, you know that?' His desire had already been awakened by the light kisses, and he hoped that Takumi's list wasn't too much longer.

"Ryousuke, there's something else I definitely don't want. When I'm with you, I don't want you to be your father's eldest son."

Ryousuke's eyes shot open. Takumi's face had that determined look, and the remaining buttons were quickly unfastened. Takumi moved in to kiss him again, his hands through Ryousuke's opened shirt, his tongue insistently through Ryousuke's open mouth, and he shifted his body a little so that his knee landed between the elder's legs. The kiss was passionate this time, pleading his last request, and Ryousuke answered it with a passion of his own. He let Takumi lower him onto his back as they kissed, and Takumi's hands were exploring his upper body with no hesitation. He resisted the urge to fist the younger man's t-shirt and pull it over his head, wanting Takumi to take the lead for a while. It was refreshing in a way that he didn't expect. Normally, he would prefer to be the one in control, but, with Takumi, loss of control was becoming routine. Not that routine meant boring by any stretch of the imagination, rather it was a wonderful opposite of boring. 'How the hell did I manage to get this back?' he thought, as the young driver shifted again, pushing his thigh upward as he raised one of his hands to run his fingers through Ryousuke's hair, and his mouth moved to Ryousuke's neck.

Takumi felt with his lips a vibration in Ryousuke's throat before he heard a low sigh escape the older man. He was kissing his neck and pressing his thigh against what he knew was there, and his cheeks heated again at the realization that he had caused the pleasurable responses he heard and felt. He was also aware of a tightening in his own groin, and he wanted Ryousuke to touch him there like had done the weekend before. But there was one thing he wanted to say before that happened and he lost all ability to think.

"Ryousuke," he whispered as he moved his lips back to drink in another deep kiss from that incredible mouth, "now that I've told you everything I _don't_ want you to be, I should tell you the one thing I _do_ want you to be for me when we...do this."

He pulled back a little and looked into Ryousuke's eyes. They were so dark and deep, almost infinite, and Takumi knew he'd be lost in a matter of seconds.

"So there _is_ something you want me to be?" he asked, staring at the serious expression within his lover's beautiful face. The warmth of Takumi's body was driving him crazy, and the firm grip of his hands on his ribcage was startling and incredibly seductive, and Takumi had no idea. Or, maybe he did. Ryousuke didn't much care about the minutiae of it all; his body was already responding, and he knew exactly how he wanted everything to be tonight.

"Yeah."

Ryousuke saw Takumi look away for a moment, and he could tell that he was trying desperately to formulate the exact words he wanted to say. Everything he had said so far had been incredibly insightful, and Ryousuke was sure he understood.

 _Please understand. I hope you understand me._

"I want you to be the person you would be, if you didn't have to be everything else, for everyone else."

Ryousuke felt moisture threaten his eyes. Had anyone ever told him such a beautiful thing? No. Never. He was sure of it. He had thought, no he had _hoped_ , that Takumi might be the one person with whom he could simply be himself, and now that person was asking him to do just that. Ryousuke suddenly couldn't find his voice.

"Can you do that, Ryousuke?" Takumi whispered, not hearing any response, and not yet daring to look back into those infinitely dark eyes.

 _Shit. It must have come out wrong! Damn it!_

"Takumi," Ryousuke replied tenderly, the ability to speak barely restored, "I can do that."

Takumi, relief washing over him that he was understood, turned to look at Ryousuke, his mentor, his friend, and, he thought with a shot of excitement coursing through him, his lover. Ryousuke's eyes were sincere, and he thought they were almost watering at the edges. Before he could completely process the sight of that, Ryousuke leaned up and pulled him down to his mouth in a kiss so gentle, so soft, that Takumi suddenly didn't know which way was up or down, and he didn't much care.

Thoughts gave way to pure feeling, and Takumi gave into that more willingly than he ever expected. It was as though the fact that he was with a man, again, was suddenly as normal as drinking a cup of coffee, once he knew that Ryousuke wanted him equally as much. Takumi still couldn't imagine himself doing these things with some other guy, but that didn't matter anymore either since Ryousuke was the one he wanted after all; his disastrous date with Mika-chan only reinforced that which Takumi already knew, but was not yet willing to admit. The feeling of Ryousuke's hands as they lifted his shirt and made contact with his skin, the electric sensation of Ryousuke's fingers as they traversed his back and around to his chest; he knew he stopped breathing for a second as those fingers flirted with a nipple, and a jolt of arousal seemed to immediately connect every distant part of his body to his groin. His thigh was still positioned between Ryousuke's legs, but he wanted more than that.

He broke the kiss, and put his head down on Ryousuke's smooth chest, astonished at the quickness of his heartbeat. Takumi could feel it resonate in his cheek and he wondered what he could do to quicken it more. He lowered the rest of his body, wanting to ease the ache that was starting to persist as it tightened his jeans. He could hear Ryousuke drawing deep breaths; that, and the warm, insistent pressure of the older man's hands in a deep massage of his back and the feeling of his mentor's hard lower body on his abdomen were almost more than he could handle.

Takumi raised himself and removed his t-shirt, the pendant he wore feeling cool as it fell against his heated skin. He was a little shocked at his own boldness, but the sense that he might have been overly brash immediately left him as he saw Ryousuke's eyes wander over his body. He felt extremely awkward absorbing such looks of obvious admiration, especially from a man so incredibly good looking as Ryousuke, but it was also exciting to know that the elder approved. Ryousuke was still quiet, but he didn't try to hide his body's response, and Takumi was fully aware of it.

Takumi leaned down for another kiss, and Ryousuke accepted it, nibbling on his bottom lip in a way that threatened to send paralyzing shivers down the length of Takumi's arms as he braced himself over the older man. Ryousuke moved his hips slightly upward, and Takumi pressed himself down to meet the motion with his groin. He heard another low sound, not a sigh, not a moan, but some kind of labored exhalation escape the man as he moved his mouth and hands down Ryousuke's chest. He raised himself slightly again, and the pair found themselves studying each other, both breathing hard.

'I shouldn't, but I love him,' Ryousuke thought, the silent admission coming to him more easily than he ever thought it could. With it, however, came a sense of anguish; this couldn't continue for much longer. Takumi seemed to understand, but that didn't make Ryousuke feel any better about it. As he looked at Takumi's gorgeous body, his need to become one with him again became more insistent. Ryousuke raised his hands to trace the outline of Takumi's jaw, his neck, pausing a little to finger the pendant that hung between them. Beautiful.

Takumi never thought of himself as handsome, thinking he was some kind of poster child for "regular guy" if ever there was one. Though, as he saw the sparkle come into Ryousuke's eyes, he began to realize that the look meant that the elder, for whatever bizarre reason, thought he was attractive. Even with this thought, however, he didn't have the worry that Ryousuke only wanted him for some kind of sexual game anymore. If it was like that, Takumi supposed, there would be no need for Ryousuke to tell him the things he told him about himself.

It was some kind of strange irony they made together, Takumi mused. Takumi had no trouble feeling emotions, feeling every joy, every pain, right to his core. He just had trouble expressing himself. On the other hand, Ryousuke could express himself in such a complex intellectual way, yet, he seemed to have trouble opening himself to basic emotional responses. Takumi thought he understood the reasons for this now, and he couldn't help the waves of compassion that came over him whenever he thought about the seemingly unyielding pressures Ryousuke had faced his whole life as the bocchama of such an important family.

If coming to the apartment was only about gratification and release, Takumi figured it would have been over and done with already.

 _I know it's more than that now, Ryousuke. I do know that._

Ryousuke wanted to be with him, for however long they had; that was what Takumi had decided to believe, and his instinct, amazingly, was telling him that it was true. He closed his eyes as Ryousuke's hands traveled down his chest to his hips. Takumi heard his own breath hitch as a finger began tracing his navel. The sensation was odd, almost ticklish, but not, yet it was strangely provocative. Ryousuke had done that before, and he had been shocked by the experience and how quickly his body responded to it. Now, having experienced it a second time, it was as if it was a suggestion, or maybe a lure of some type, because it caused his body to shudder and his jeans to tighten even more. In his position over the older man, he was sure Ryousuke had to notice the effect, and Takumi's cheeks grew hot again. No doubt he was blushing, something he couldn't avoid whenever Ryousuke was near to him, and especially when the older man touched him in such intimate and seductive ways, touches that gave him more pleasure than the attempted tryst with Mika-chan ever would have produced had it gone to fruition.

 _He wants me. He desires...me. And I want him. Badly. Oh, God...will it really be enough when it's over? No. It probably won't. But you don't have to think about that tonight, so don't._

Ryousuke couldn't get enough of Takumi's skin, the lines of his toned upper body were carved like some kind of sculpture that one shouldn't be allowed to touch, something alabaster and locked away as a treasure, to be revered but never handled. Every time he touched the younger man, he felt privileged and awed; his body had within it everything about the male form that had always provoked Ryousuke's desires in the first place.

If ever there was a man who could be called beautiful, it was Takumi. The word, the idea, Ryousuke mused, might normally be attributed to a woman, perhaps some ancient Greek goddess or an Empress, or some other such untouchable female. But, adjectives normally attributed to men, good-looking, handsome, distinguished, and the like were entirely inadequate in Ryousuke's mind to describe Takumi. He was a beautiful man, in both body and mind. That he could touch him at all must truly be some kind of miracle from God, one he was sure he didn't deserve.

As Ryousuke explored Takumi's navel with his finger, eliciting a wonderfully pleasurable response from the beautiful one, he thought about the past fantasies he used to occasionally allow himself in which to indulge, those that led to self-punishing cold showers. Rarer still were the times he allowed self pleasure with Takumi in mind, only to end up back in the "cold shower of chastisement" for his reckless act. But, he ruefully thought, that wasn't even the end of his recklessness.

In fact, the last time he had called one of the men he knew, about half a year ago, it was because his thoughts of Takumi were persisting too much once he started training his Downhill Ace in preparation for D's first outing. It was his only lapse in his self-imposed abstention from sex, and he thought he could take his mind off the beautiful one by taking care of business with someone else. It certainly didn't work; it had actually been a near disaster, Ryousuke having caught himself just before uttering Takumi's name aloud as he thrust to completion inside the body of the man who, though attractive, was definitely _not_ Takumi. Ryousuke was physically gratified, and unfulfilled as usual with the encounter, but he was disturbed more by the fact that he should have felt guilty about his near blunder and did not. He'd simply zipped up his pants and walked out in a huff after he'd argued with the partner, earning a much deserved slap to the face because the man realized he had been thinking about someone else when they slept together. Afterward, he dropped by the apartment for a quick shower to wash away the evidence of his secret life, and returned to his Father's home like he had done after other such nights since he was nineteen.

He had therefore decided that night would probably be his last with any man, it having already taken place after his simulation for future happiness was supposed to have been complete. The man had called him once since then, and Ryousuke told him that it would be for the best for him to lose his number. If he hooked up with him or any other man again, he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep the name "Takumi" from escaping his throat. Though the men he knew had always understood that there weren't to be any strings attached to their occasional meetings, accidentally calling one of them Takumi would definitely be the epitome of being an asshole. Ryousuke didn't want to chance it, and went back to his cold showers and thoughts of eventual marriage to Tsugumi.

He knew now that those old mental images of what Takumi's body might be like under that t-shirt-and-jeans exterior paled, by a shocking degree, in comparison to having the real thing exposed before his very eyes. He slowly left the exploration of Takumi's navel and placed his hands on the waistband of the jeans he wore. He heard the younger man inhale deeply, and the jeans his fingers were flirting with were noticeably tight in the restraint of the hard length that was tucked within them. He unbuttoned them, getting a glimpse of cotton boxer shorts, and he pulled forward, signaling to Takumi that he wanted him to lower himself on top of his own needful body once again.

Takumi felt the loosening of his button, and the gentle tug forward. He opened his eyes; the look of desire on Ryousuke's face was there. He wordlessly lowered himself for a kiss that he hoped Ryousuke would interpret as his need to have the older man take control again. He was losing his ability to focus on anything but the growing pain in his groin, and he desperately wanted Ryousuke to relieve the pressure that was building there. As they shared the kiss, he gave in to the elder's lead of it, and tongues and lips meshed together at a pace that was slow, sensual, and full of the reassurance he craved. Ryousuke's hands were still by the button of his jeans, pressed between their bodies. Despite that, one of them moved to hold his length and Takumi heard himself gasp into Ryousuke's mouth. He wanted those pants off. Now. "R-Ryousuke..." he breathed as they kissed.

After torturous seconds, Ryousuke had obviously understood that it was time to give up his quietude. "Come to bed," he whispered gently as he freed his hands from between them and cupped Takumi's face to look at him. Takumi opened his eyes, felt the familiar flush of cheeks, and his body grew instantly hotter and harder at the soft-spoken command.

The downhiller nodded; he didn't waver in his gaze, but he couldn't get his brain to make his body move. It was such a wonderful feeling to be connected, even through clothes, to a man whom he had thought would always remain untouchable for someone like him. Ryousuke seemed to understand Takumi's anticipatory paralysis, and his hands left his face, and traveled down to the back pockets of his jeans. From one, Ryousuke plucked Takumi's wallet and set it on the table. From the other, a cell-phone was removed and he watched as Ryousuke made an obvious display of opening it and pressing the "off" button.

"No interruptions," he said smoothly, claiming Takumi's lips once again, and placing the phone on the table next to the wallet. Ryousuke returned his hands to th back pockets of the jeans, putting them inside and pulling him down to his groin as he pushed upward with his hips, giving him the firmer contact his own strengthening arousal desired. Takumi responded by deepening the kiss, a low groan emerging from the younger man pleading with Ryousuke to take him to his comfortable bed, and exciting the elder's senses with the sound. Takumi was sexy without even realizing it, without even knowing the effect his wordless sounds had on his lover.

Ryousuke made a motion to raise himself and Takumi pulled back, his limbs finally breaking the spell cast by Ryousuke's mouth. As they stood, Ryousuke linked his Ace's hands with his own. As Takumi looked at the man standing before him, in his typical dress slacks and the not-so-typical sight of him with his shirt unbuttoned to reveal his lithe upper body, he allowed himself the admission that Ryousuke looked...hot. It still felt strange admitting to himself that he thought of another man that way, but then, Ryousuke was certainly not simply "another man". Ryousuke was Ryousuke, and that was just what Takumi wanted him to be. He wanted him to be the Ryousuke that he thought, if it weren't for everything else, might actually love him. As crazy as the notion was, Takumi knew that was what he selfishly wanted, and knew he would feel loss when Ryousuke left to continue the life his father wanted him to live, a life as the perfect heir to a family of status.

Takumi knew he'd be a wreck, but he couldn't stand in the way of all Ryousuke had worked for to please his parents. That would be selfish and unfair. He knew Ryousuke was a careful person, perhaps as inwardly guarded as Takumi was outwardly shy, but he had wanted to be shown the Ryousuke who would be his alone, the Ryousuke who could put his pressures aside. Takumi didn't have a ton of experience being loved, or loving someone. Mogi had told him she loved him, and he thought he had loved her. But it paled in comparison to the feelings he had for his mentor, those that had started out as admiration of his driving, his intelligence, his charisma. Somewhere in the past year or so, Takumi knew it had developed into something much, much more. He wanted to love Ryousuke, but he thought he shouldn't do that, just as Ryousuke shouldn't love him. Unfortunately, he wasn't the type of person who could turn his feelings on and off like some kind of switch. So he settled for the _idea_ of being loved. If it was only an idea, maybe Takumi could take a page out of Ryousuke's book and create some kind of simulation for what it would be like to be loved by the older man.

Takumi knew he was loved by his father, shitty old man that he was. Though he couldn't ever remember Bunta ever saying "I love you," to him, even when he was a child, there were moments when he knew that it was true. When he blew the engine in the hachi-roku on Akagi, it was his father who loaded the derelict car onto the flatbed, it was his father who told him it wasn't his fault for wrecking the car. It was his father who allowed his grown son to shed tears in front of him with no chastisement, with only a reassuring hand to the side of his face, and a strong tousle of hair. He never said the words, but Takumi knew his father loved him.

Takumi knew Ryousuke wouldn't be one to say such things aloud either, especially to him. That would be a rebellion against everything he was supposed to be. But, he wondered what Ryousuke would show him tonight; he wondered if he might have the feeling that he was loved, that the idea, the theory of it might be somehow brought to life. If he got that feeling from Ryousuke in the time before he left, Takumi supposed that would have to be enough.

"Tell me what you're thinking, Takumi," Ryousuke implored, sucking on an earlobe as he pulled him closer.

 _Shit. I think I spaced out a little too long there..._

"Nothing much," Takumi lied. He'd been doing entirely too much thinking, and the hot mouth on his earlobe, and the feeling of breath as Ryousuke whispered were entirely too wonderful for their own good.

"You're not a very good fibber," Ryousuke remarked, moving one of his hands to Takumi's groin, which caused the younger driver to hold his breath before exhaling in a low sigh.

 _When he touches me there..._

"That's true," he managed to eke out as Ryousuke began to squeeze his length lightly, the hand still on the outside of his jeans. "You're the...smart one..." he gasped as Ryousuke heightened his desire without even touching his flesh. "You know better than anyone how little I think...so you tell me what you were thinking instead..."

Takumi moved his head and his lips were captured within another gentle kiss. When he pulled back, Ryousuke replied, "Nothing much..., you _were_ thinking just now, and you're still not a good fibber...," he added, mock-punishing his young lover with a light nip on his gorgeous neck before standing upright to look at the beautiful one's face.

"Neither are you, Ryousuke," Takumi whispered seriously, knowing that older man had been thinking as much as he had himself.

Ryousuke wasn't as surprised to hear the reply as he thought he should be. Takumi knew him, the real him; that much was now one hundred percent certain. He raised his hands to Takumi's cheeks, warm and flushed, and drew himself closer to the slightly swollen lips of the younger man. He lay a chaste kiss on them. "I know," he whispered back. "Come to bed," he offered again, pulling Takumi's chin upward for a meeting of their mouths so slow and deep, so invitingly warm, that Ryousuke let his guard melt away with it. What he couldn't say with words, he would say with his body. He didn't have to hope that Takumi would understand.

Ryousuke already knew that he would.

Takumi felt his knees become unsteady; the sensation of Ryousuke's tongue, gently deepening its exploration of his mouth with every pass over his own, began to cause flashes of desire to course through the very blood in his veins. As they parted and began to make their way through the short distance to the bedroom, Takumi barely opened his eyes as he walked, savoring the lingering sensation of the other's mouth on his.

Ryousuke's kisses were sometimes demanding, sometimes urgent and raw, but they, impossibly, could also be more gentle than even Takumi's kisses with Mogi and Mika had been. It was so damn appealing not to worry about going too fast for a kissing partner for once, Takumi thought. He'd been a fool to think Mika-chan would allow him to invade her body, and she was right to push him away because an invasion was exactly what it would have been. Even his father had warned him to remember that Mika was a good girl, a warning that Takumi knew he scoffed at, not wanting to hear it from the shitty old man when his mind was already set on what he wanted to do.

It was horribly wrong of him, and he was dreadfully sincere when he begged Mika for her forgiveness. He'd always been decent; he hated himself for what he had tried to do with Mika, and he hated his father for being right. Again. When the realization hit that his father likely knew exactly what had happened between his son and the elder Takahashi, Takumi had feared for the beating of his life. When it didn't come, he was startled and confused, but somehow, thankful.

He had been even more afraid of telling Ryousuke about what happened with Mika, even though he knew it was the right thing to do. Whether he and Ryousuke were "together" or not, Takumi felt like he had been a betrayer. The strange timbre of Ryousuke's voice on the phone when Takumi had made that stupid phone call, trying to end things out of his own insecurity and feelings of self preservation from Keisuke, kept playing over and over in his mind. It was a sound that said Ryousuke might have been hurt, as unbelievable as it seemed to Takumi then. So, he had told him everything, expecting, well, he didn't know what he was expecting. But Ryousuke understood; he was far from angry. He was sympathetic, and Takumi was more relieved than he ever thought he'd be.

 _He understands me. He always has._

With Ryousuke, everything happened without the worry that someone's modesty might be compromised. As Ryousuke leaned over the bed to bring down the covers, a languid kiss both preceding and following the deliberate act of welcoming Takumi to his bed, Takumi wondered if the fact that there seemed to be no need for perfunctory "dates", or gradual baby-steps leading up to sex, was a result of it being that they were two men together in ways that might not be traditionally acceptable, that it might be a natural way to compensate for the lack of outward affection they would be able to express toward each other in the plain view of others. Behind closed doors, Takumi realized that there wasn't a need for all the bullshit of taking supposedly romantic walks on the beach, or holding hands and taking cute pictures like he had done with Mogi, or like sending countless flirty text messages with Mika, only to have it take months to even kiss the girl in the first place.

Once Ryousuke had pulled the covers back from the bed, he moved silently behind Takumi and encircled him with his arms, planting light kisses on the nape of his neck, his hair, and then onto his shoulders, driving Takumi into a state of full-body warmth. It brought such unexpected comfort; the affection which Ryousuke was placing upon his body with every contact his lips made on his skin was gradually eliminating the outside world. That Ryousuke would give this to him, that Takumi could return it, was something Takumi knew he needed to remember for the rest of his life, when their separate lives would probably take them into the arms of others, and into the beds of others too. The thought gave Takumi pause, because, at this moment, he didn't want to be taken anywhere else but into the very private world of Ryousuke's heart.

Ryousuke moved his hand down once again as he embraced the beautiful one, slowly drawing down the zipper of the heretofore unbuttoned jeans. Tonight was about showing Takumi everything he couldn't say but wanted to, everything he would never be able to do again after he began the walk down his Father's path. He moved his other arm around the expanse of Takumi's torso and pulled the younger one against him tightly, his desire paining him with the contact of the flesh of Takumi's back on his chest; Ryousuke heard another hitched breath as Takumi registered the sensation of Ryousuke pressed up to him. As the elder explored the graceful neck with his mouth, gently sucking and passing his tongue over the supple skin, he threaded his other hand through the opening in Takumi's jeans and caressed the firmness inside, drawing it from its denim restraint and into the palm of his hand.

 _Oh, God. Why does this have to feel so right when I know it's all going away? No. Don't think about that. Idiot. Remember this. Remember everything that happens until...oh...he's...don't stop..._

Ryousuke wasn't talking, and Takumi took that as a signal that he was showing him something incredibly important, incredibly intimate; something that, even for Ryousuke, couldn't be said with words. Takumi felt the sting of tears in the corners of his eyes because he dared to think he knew what it was that Ryousuke was leaving unsaid. He blinked them away, not wanting the distraction from the warmth of the man's grasp on the most intimate part of his body. This was private, and special; the outside world had now completely disappeared with Ryousuke's tender and silent caresses.

Takumi decided he liked it this way; he was never comfortable with outwardly affectionate gestures anyway, and he knew that Ryousuke was not a romantic type either. There was a certain appeal to having the pretenses of trite romance stripped away, if only for each other, that Takumi found to be exciting and incredibly arousing. If this whatever-it-was could be defined as a relationship, then Takumi was content to keep it within the confines of Ryousuke's apartment for only them to share, where affection could be expressed privately. Takumi knew Ryousuke could be passionate, and he selfishly wanted that reserved only for him. Feeling himself in the embrace of the handsome older man, Takumi had the sense that the mere idea of being loved wouldn't be enough after all, but that point was terribly moot. There was no way either of them could be like this anywhere but inside their self-created world. Takumi understood that, and he knew Ryousuke understood it too.

 _Is it really okay with him? It has to be. He knows it has to be, you both do. Don't think about what can never happen. Idiot._

Ryousuke had the additional burden of keeping this part of his life hush-hush because of his family, and Takumi respected that, though he still had the sense of unfairness about it. Because of his need for constant discretion, Takumi thought, Ryousuke had probably trained himself to prevent attachments like the one they were now sharing. He had described himself as an "asshole" and Takumi wondered how that could be possible, given how Ryousuke was with him. But, he also thought he understood. For his own part, however, Takumi really didn't mind keeping it a secret either, for reasons that were entirely separate, but that were still necessary in his own mind to allow himself the pleasure of being with the older man for as long as he could. There were already too many people who knew about it anyway for Takumi's taste, and he was definitely not opposed to keeping his own involvement with the man secret from everyone who didn't already know.

He wouldn't do anything in public that would jeopardize Ryousuke's status. Even if Ryousuke didn't want to be a doctor and take over his Father's hospital, the fact remained that he would someday, and Takumi was developing a better understanding of "families of status". No doubt, Ryousuke's family would be one of those that were worried about scandals, and Takumi could think of nothing more scandalous, except maybe having a baby out of wedlock, than having the bocchama discovered to be gay or bisexual or whatever Ryousuke was. There was no need for Takumi to shout it out from the rooftops that he was falling hard for the man who was currently turning his brain to mush with his tongue, his teeth, his hands...

If it remained a secret, Takumi's sadness when it was over would be a secret too.

Ryousuke reluctantly released the downhiller from his embrace, gently placing the hand not exploring the younger driver's arousal on his hip, the motion a suggestion for Takumi to turn around. When the teenager faced him once again, Ryousuke leaned down to meet his lips, parting them with his tongue. Takumi responded urgently as Ryousuke slid his hand through the opening of his shorts. 'Okay. God, Takumi, I want you,' he thought. 'I love you...'

He advanced forward, raising the hand from Takumi's hip to his cheek then running his fingers through his soft hair. He stroked him more firmly, and he felt Takumi's legs shudder slightly. He put his hand on Takumi's shoulder with a reassuring squeeze; the younger backed up a little and Ryousuke lowered the beautiful one down to the bed where he belonged. He wasted no time following him, placing himself over that perfect body. Takumi opened his eyes, chest heaving, and Ryousuke lowered his head to the rising and falling chest, trailing kisses down an imagined center line, tonguing his navel, then returning upward to indulge in a nipple, licking it and blowing on it as it became hard. Takumi muttered something unintelligible and erotic in response. Perfect.

Ryousuke returned to the supple mouth, removing his already unbuttoned shirt and casting it aside. Immediately, hands were on him, pulling him down with the intent of covering his body. Before Ryousuke would allow it, he took the waistband of Takumi's jeans and shorts and tugged, encouraging the younger to allow him to divest him of the remainder of his clothes. Takumi raised his hips, and Ryousuke made quick work of pants and socks. When he returned to Takumi's mouth, he kissed him deeply as he stroked the newly bared skin of the firm length, delicately stimulating the tip with his fingers. The younger broke the kiss suddenly, his head thrown back on the pillow leaving his neckline exposed for Ryousuke to sample with his mouth.

 _How the hell does he know just what to do? Oh, God...I want it to last...but if he keeps going, I won't be able to!_

Takumi felt pressure building in his groin, but he didn't want to give into it. As his lower back left the bed in response to Ryousuke's expert manipulation of his body, he could hear the irregular breathing of his lover as the man hungrily kissed his neck. He was startled when he felt Ryousuke trace the outline of the pendant against his chest with his tongue, and he stole a glance. As if on cue, the elder looked up and met his gaze, saying nothing with words, but saying something nonetheless, something devastatingly exciting which caused Takumi's length to throb wantonly in the hands of his lover. Ryousuke gripped him more tightly, rolling his thumb over the dampened head. Takumi felt his eyes threaten to roll back, but something told him not to allow it.

Takumi's chest was already heaving as he locked eyes with Ryousuke.

 _What is that look he's giving me?! I've never seen..._

The thought was banished as Takumi looked wide-eyed as Ryousuke took his pendant into his mouth, suggestively rolling his tongue around it before letting it fall again on Takumi's chest.

After Takumi's initial startled reaction to the gesture, Ryousuke saw a look in his young lover's eyes that said it all. There was nothing but desire within them, and Ryousuke found that he was now similarly startled. It was as if Takumi was on the verge of another snap decision, something Ryousuke knew would be something brought on by his instinct alone. Ryousuke felt his arousal straining against his still-fastened pants, in rapt anticipation of what the beautiful one would do. No one had ever excited him this much, no one would ever excite him this much. He wouldn't love anyone else this much.

 _What the hell was that?! Oh...my...God...he's so...hot! That's fucking IT!_

The self admission seemed to break down a barrier within Takumi, the one that was nagging at him, saying it was weird and still possibly wrong to get this turned on by another man, as if achieving the ability to mentally acknowledge how sexy Ryousuke was unleashed the full brunt of his emotions. He felt his eyes well up, and he didn't care if tears fell.

 _God help me, Ryousuke...I love you!_

Before Takumi knew what he was doing, he forcefully grabbed Ryousuke's hip and swiftly moved the taller man onto his back before Ryousuke could react, protest, or do anything but allow Takumi to do as he pleased. Ryousuke was stunned, again amazed at the thrill of being at the mercy of the beautiful one, as he had lips crash down on him, as he had the weight of Takumi's shorter but broader build cover him, as his arms were brought up one, then the other, and held at the wrists within the strong grasp of only one of Takumi's hands. "Takumi...?" Ryousuke breathed, eyes wide open with a flash of concern amidst the barely-there pauses in the passionate kiss, seeing tears fall from the beautiful one's eyes. "Are you...all right?" Ryousuke pleaded, the tight grasp on his wrists not allowing him to place a hand of reassurance on the flushed face of his lover.

"I," Takumi began as their mouths continued to meet, and a hot teardrop fell from Takumi's cheek to Ryousuke's, "don't know what I'm doing,..."

Ryousuke felt Takumi's other hand frantically unfasten his pants; he was overwhelmingly relieved and devastatingly humbled, in disbelief that he might be deserving of...this. It was an awed understanding now that Takumi's tears were those of passion.

Of love.

For him.

"Oh, God, Takumi..."

"I don't know what I'm doing," Takumi gasped again, "but I... _need_ to do it..."

Takumi finally succeeded in undoing the annoyingly hard-to-undo dress pants of his lover, his hand coming into contact with Ryousuke's firmness, in erotic contrast with the softness of what had to be silk shorts, the mix of the two opposites providing Takumi with an unexpected and intense jolt of want. As he explored Ryousuke's body, his cheeks flaming hot, his tears upon them hotter still, he heard a definite moan escape his mentor, and Takumi instinctively reacted by tightening the grip on both Ryousuke's wrists and his arousal. He looked at Ryousuke's expression through tear blurred vision, the furrowed brow, slight perspiration gathering at his hairline causing some of the violet hued strands to stick to his forehead.

 _I don't give a shit anymore. I love you. For as long as I can, I will love you. And you're so...damn...hot!_

Takumi felt such a sense of liberation, of freedom, one that he desperately wanted to share with Ryousuke. He released the elder's wrists, and placed his hands on a hot, impossibly smooth face, the infinite dark eyes piercing into his own blurry ones. They kissed deeply again, Ryousuke raising his hips in a dire request for renewed contact with Takumi's hand which had so abruptly left him, and Takumi instantly provided it, with no prodding, no asking, no hesitating.

"Takumi..."

Ryousuke could say the name so freely it was frightening.

The sound of his name spoken in desperation caused Takumi to go with his instinct once more. He gently tugged Ryousuke's rigid length, trailing kisses down the slender body just as the elder had done to him, hopeful, himself desperate to bring Ryousuke to freedom. He didn't really know what he was doing. He didn't know what Ryousuke wanted him to do. He didn't care.

 _Can I do this? Oh God...how do I do this?!_

Wild and hazy thoughts crowded Takumi's mind, though not disorganized enough to dissuade his emotional and physical need. He reluctantly let go of Ryousuke's body to remove the obstruction of clothes, and Ryousuke, his breath rasping with what Takumi thought might be frustration, lifted his hips and assisted with the urgent abandonment and reckless tossing aside of expensive dress pants and silky under shorts. Takumi brought his hand back to the older man's length as his mouth was claimed again, and he put his hand over Takumi's, in obvious understanding of the concern that the younger one thought he wouldn't "do things right".

"Ryousuke...," Takumi pleaded for the guidance of his lover, "I want...I mean I..."

The sentence was left incomplete as Takumi found a place on Ryousuke's collarbone with his mouth that produced an obvious pleasure laced response. He allowed Ryousuke to guide the motions of his hand, memorizing the sensations of subtle shifting of soft skin around the swollen hardness, the startling and strangely exhilarating feeling of moisture coating their joined fingers with the slow and steady rhythm.

"Just...don't stop, Takumi," Ryousuke breathed, his voice barely a whisper, into his lover's hair as the younger man rested his head on his chest.

Ryousuke gradually lessened the hold on Takumi's hand, eventually letting go, allowing him to take over the established pace. With his newly freed hand, he ran absent fingers through Takumi's hair while raising his other arm to gently massage his back in reassurance that he definitely was "doing it right". It was almost _too_ right, in fact, the hand of the embracing arm having been previously occupied with fisting the bed sheets as a distraction to prevent himself from coming right then and there.

Ryousuke could not remember a time when he was brought so close by mere touching, and he knew he'd never find that in anyone else but Takumi. As touches became more exploratory, dangerously prodding Ryousuke to release, he returned his hand to cover Takumi's, reluctantly stopping the motion.

Takumi raised his head, his eyes still watering a little, cheeks flushed and dampened. There was a question in his gaze and a look of concern that Ryousuke attempted to allay with the most tender kiss he could manage. He felt Takumi melt into his body as they kissed. "Was that...okay?" Takumi tentatively asked as they parted.

Ryousuke tenderly caressed Takumi's face. "Another second, and I wouldn't have been able to hold on, Beautiful One."

Takumi's eyes widened at the unexpected term of endearment; never did he think such a thing would be said by the very guarded Ryousuke. But it elated him, because it meant that Ryousuke allowed himself to be free to express it; he knew that the words meant so much more from Ryousuke than ever it would mean from the lips of anyone else. He thought it was a weird choice of words, but, his elation pushed the notion easily aside.

Ryousuke found that he wasn't surprised that the moniker escaped him, he had been thinking it the whole night, and it seemed so right, so perfect to describe Takumi as they lay together. He shifted and moved Takumi onto his back, his near peaking desire placed on hold until he gave the Beautiful One the pleasure he so richly deserved.

Takumi studied Ryousuke as he moved over him, raising his hand to push the slightly dampened hair off his forehead, the lines of his patrician face softened by the sincerity in his eyes. Takumi knew he was experiencing much more than the mere idea of being loved.

Takumi knew he was loved, and the tears threatened again at the realization. He held them at bay with a squeezing closure of his eyelids, and then he received the immediate response of Ryousuke placing feathery kisses on each closed lid, brushing away the tears that escaped.

Though they could terrify him, Ryousuke had such appreciation for the purity of Takumi's emotions; with every moment he felt like Takumi was freeing him from years of restraint. He lowered himself onto the strong body beneath him, relishing the sensation of mutually heated flesh, his arousal still insistent, but the release no longer eminent.

As Takumi lay covered by Ryousuke, sheltered within his embrace, he felt the urgency in his groin resurface, the need for touch. He pushed himself upward, yearning for more deliberate contact. He kept his eyes closed, experiencing caresses of his torso, of the elder's lips as they lay suckling kisses over inconceivable places on his body, places that normally wouldn't be given a second look: a shoulder, the crook of an elbow, a wrist, a chin. Then, eventually, Ryousuke traveled lower with his mouth and Takumi heard himself draw in a sharp breath. He knew what was about to occur, and Ryousuke began to stroke him slowly, reawakening his ardent need.

As the hot, wet mouth descended upon his body, Takumi cried out. His back arched and his erection pulsed as Ryousuke expertly worked his tongue and lips over it, a hand tightening its hold around him. His cry seemed to encourage his lover, and what had started out as a caress turned rapidly into a passionate assault, drawing Takumi closer to completion more quickly than any fantasy encounter he could have ever constructed.

Ryousuke tasted the beginnings of Takumi's essence on his tongue, marveling anew the responsiveness of the Beautiful One's body. Amazing.

Satisfied that he could proceed further, Ryousuke continued to work Takumi's desire with his hand as he returned to his face, gently coaxing him to open his mouth with a light nibble to his lower lip.

Takumi released the breath he didn't realize he was holding and welcomed Ryousuke into his mouth; the kiss was deep, but tender and full of silent promises of release. As they kissed, he felt Ryousuke move a little, and he heard the sound of the drawer of the nightstand being opened, then closed again.

Though he should have been wary, Takumi found that he welcomed the coming pain more insistently than he ever imagined he could. He knew Ryousuke would be careful tonight; it was obvious that it wasn't going to be like the last time they had coupled, and he tried to relax remembering that through the pain was a pleasure that was almost beyond imagination.

 _How can I relax when he kisses me like this...?_

The answer to the question came with the sudden sensation of being buried completely inside Ryousuke's mouth.

"Oh! R-ryou...oh God...!" Takumi nearly yelled, feeling slightly embarrassed that he was completely unable to keep his composure whilst being at the mercy of Ryousuke's incredible mouth. Obviously, however, Ryousuke approved, and he began to devour him more urgently. Takumi thought he heard the sound of a condom being unwrapped, and the thought of what was going to happen sent another rush of want into his groin, the pleasure-pain of his desire making his member hypersensitive to everything Ryousuke did.

Takumi couldn't think anymore; he knew he couldn't last like this. Ryousuke knew it too, he thought, as the sensation of a lubricated finger, not quite cold and not quite hot, traced the base of his erection and down toward his entrance. He held his breath, and Ryousuke, never leaving him with his mouth, gave the reassuring squeeze to the hip that Takumi desperately needed.

Ever so slowly, the presence of Ryousuke's fingers became more pronounced, the touches gentle though invasive, and the partner eased the urgency of his mouth to match so that Takumi would relax. Takumi took a deep breath as he was penetrated a little more deeply; it wasn't so much painful as it was exotic. The feeling of someone else body inside one's own would have to be decidedly strange, Takumi mused, and yet, it was so damn wonderful.

Ryousuke's own need was returning as he prepared his lover with his fingers. Takumi was gorgeously hot and tight, and the taste of him in his mouth was utterly tantalizing. He began to press more urgently, and Takumi arched his back, crying out again. The cries were so sexy, so full of abandon, that Ryousuke couldn't help but to be incredibly turned on by the fact that they came from someone normally so soft-spoken. Amazingly, it looked like he was going to be "the quiet one" in bed, and the thought that he might have several more nights of Takumi writhing with pleasure ahead was enough to drive his desire over the proverbial edge.

Takumi felt the pressure building to its breaking point as Ryousuke continued to explore his body with his fingers and his mouth. The throbbing ache in his groin forced him to thrust, each involuntary push bringing with it a sensation of tongue and suction that was utterly brain melting. The fingers moved again, stretching his passage, putting Takumi's need for release into overdrive. He knew he had been crying out; he couldn't help it. There was no way he could wait, no way he wanted to. Before he realized what he was saying, the words escaped him.

"Ryousuke...oh God..., please...," he breathed, rasping his lover's name, "make me come..."

As soon as the words were uttered, Takumi heard a low growl escape Ryousuke's throat; the vibration of it on his erection was enough to make him cry out again. "Please!"

Ryousuke couldn't believe what he just heard. 'So...fucking...hot...'

He pushed his fingers hard inside the Beautiful One, reaching the place he knew would send Takumi into immediate release. He looked upward as Takumi arched his back and roughly pulled the sheet partly off the bed in his pleasured state. He was gorgeous like that, on the brink of orgasm, chest heaving and face twisted in ecstasy. He thrust one final time into Ryousuke's eagerly waiting mouth, emitting another wordlessly erotic grunt as he came. Ryousuke drank him in, tasting the salty-sweetness of him, the intimacy of the act overwhelming his senses and his desire to be inside him.

As Takumi lay trembling before him, the waves of pleasure still cascading over his incredibly hot body, Ryousuke climbed on top of him, his own arousal aching to enter him. He placed himself between Takumi's shuddering legs, massaging one of his thighs with one hand and planting plenty of kisses on his chest as he took the condom out of its previously opened wrapping and put it on, the touch of his own hand sending a shiver of anticipation through his entire body.

"Takumi..." he whispered as he moved toward the face of the Beautiful One, whose eyes were still squeezed shut. Takumi turned his head, planting a charmingly hurried and clumsy kiss on Ryousuke's cheek. Ryousuke smiled a little, knowing, at this moment, that there was absolutely no coherent thought in his young lover's head. Good.

Ryousuke lay a chaste kiss on Takumi's lips, then took his chin into his mouth, lightly suckling it before doing the same to his neck. The younger driver was still breathing hard, swallowing harder. Ryousuke reached down for the bottle of lubricant which had somehow managed to remain on the bed, and he prepared his length with a generous amount of it. He really didn't want to hurt Takumi, though he knew he probably would. He raised a hand to the side of Takumi's face, holding him firmly. With the other, he guided himself into a slow, shallow initial penetration of the Beautiful One's body.

Takumi held his breath; the overwhelming power of his orgasm had left his mind incredibly unfocused and hazy, but as soon as he felt Ryousuke enter him, he couldn't help but to recoil slightly. He could feel tender fingers running through his hair, then brushing his cheek, the contrast of that softness with the invading hardness of Ryousuke's body inside his own was both shocking and exciting. Takumi opened his eyes to find Ryousuke looking at his face with a gentle, maybe even loving, expression in his eyes. Without a word, Takumi raised his lips to meet Ryousuke's mouth, rolling his tongue over that of the elder once before laying his head back down on the pillow. Ryousuke was breathing heavily, and his eyes grew more serious.

Takumi nodded once, and he saw what looked like relief wash over Ryousuke's handsome face.

 _I've done this before. It's okay. I want to do this. I want him to do this._

Ryousuke saw that permission was granted and he pushed himself slowly further into Takumi's tight body, the heat of him as powerful as it was the first time. He could hear quick intakes of breath from beneath; he looked at him, hoping not to see evidence of pain on the Beautiful One's face. Seeing none, he leaned over for a gentle kiss, parting the soft lips with his tongue, hopefully to lull his young lover into a state of relaxation. Takumi returned the kiss, and Ryousuke pulled back a little, then penetrated him again, more deeply, the grip of the young body on his own causing an exhilaratingly firm friction on his length.

Takumi broke the kiss slightly, his open mouth still close to Ryousuke's, sharing breath. He knew Ryousuke was going as slowly as possible, and it still hurt, but Takumi wanted to continue. He wanted to watch everything now; he had barely opened his eyes the first time. Ryousuke held himself still, and Takumi tried to relax as best he could, trying to put all the remaining thoughts of how odd it was or how wrong it probably was out of his mind, because, as long as it was Ryousuke, he knew he wanted it this way. It was unbelievable how turned on he got whenever Ryousuke touched him. And when Ryousuke entered him, it was total agony, or maybe it was the agony of total ecstasy; Takumi still wasn't sure. But he was sure that he wanted it, wanted him.

Whenever Ryousuke moved inside his body, it caused Takumi's breath to hitch in short rasps, the feeling of being filled and stretched as the elder pushed himself inside was overwhelming. He could feel every motion; sometimes it was almost imperceptible, and other times it was urgent and needful. It was a balance of gentle attention and passionate desire that Takumi never dreamed was possible. That his body could be so responsive to another man's advance was still confusing; it ought to have been embarrassing to let a man be inside of him at all. Takumi wondered if he should be ashamed of himself, willingly allowing himself to be placed in such a vulnerable position. But this was Ryousuke, the man he trusted with everything: the tuning of his car, his technique, his ambition to become the fastest on the street.

So, Takumi wanted to trust Ryousuke to take the same care with his body, and he instinctively knew that the elder would. Through the pain of it all, he had the sensation of unbelievable pleasure, and things like embarrassment began to melt away with it, being replaced with the kind of rush that only came with doing something that was supposed to be taboo.

Maybe he was an "adrenaline junkie" after all; racing was illegal. Though they had found ways to minimize it, there was always the potential for arrest by the authorities. There was always a chance of a crash. There was certainly a chance that his life could have ended on a mountain pass somewhere.

Dangerous. Risky. Thrilling. He loved it.

Takumi didn't want to entrust his heart to the elder man; falling in love with Ryousuke was equally dangerous, risky, and thrilling. There was so much hurt to be had, knowing that Ryousuke wouldn't be like this with him for very much longer. But he felt that he had already given his heart as he had given up his body.

The realization caused a pang in Takumi's chest.

 _I will miss him. I will miss...this..._

As Takumi opened his body to Ryousuke's hot and hard length, flashes of his own mind's creation of what it would be like to be intimate with this untouchable person augmented the sight of his mentor's body before him, over him, taut with passionate tension. That Ryousuke, normally calm and often somewhat distant, could be like this, with him, was incredible, and the sight of him like that was almost too much. Takumi closed his eyes again, crying out as a particularly insistent thrust caused another piercing pain to drive straight through to the small of his back. Takumi knew Ryousuke desired him; he himself had experienced the sometimes involuntary need to push hard, some instinctual response that waited for no mental preparation. That he could bring that out in the normally restrained Ryousuke...

 _This is...he is...wonderful..._

He had fantasized about this act, this joining so many times, so many nights when thoughts of Mika or Mogi couldn't make him come, so many times when he tried to keep his thoughts from straying to the elder Rotary Brother as he touched himself in the shower; thoughts that always produced the quick release that thinking of the few girls in his life rarely brought. Replacing the mental image with one of Mika in her bikini after he came was nothing but a defense against the reality that it was thoughts of Ryousuke that brought him there. Takumi ventured to open his eyes, giving his sight the image of this new reality in the complete embrace of Ryousuke, both inside and outside of his body. His face was flushed and hot, his bottom lip swelling a little from biting down on it. Ryousuke's eyes were closed; he seemed to be in that state of mental laser focus that Takumi knew so well.

 _Is this...good for him? Shit. I'm still clueless here. Should I be doing something? But...oh wow...he is hot. Especially when he's sweaty like that...his body is so much stronger than I thought it might be, but he's gentle too sometimes..._

Takumi lost himself again in another of Ryousuke's deep kisses. Ryousuke's breath was ragged, and he began to thrust in a sensual rhythm that was driving Takumi absolutely crazy with want. He hesitantly raised his hips to meet Ryousuke's body, an act that brought with it a pained expression of pleasure in the elder's face, and a low sigh from his throat.

 _I've never seen him look like that...and...oh...OH!_

Ryousuke pushed more insistently, and lips were on Takumi's chest and torso. Takumi brought his hands up, and he found himself grabbing the coarse black hair, feeling as though he should hold onto Ryousuke for dear life.

"Ryousuke..."

Ryousuke raised his head a little, allowing for Takumi's fingers to remain tightly laced through his hair. "What is it..." he breathed, pulling out a little and slowly, teasingly, he penetrated Takumi again.

"...I...oh!" Takumi gasped, releasing his hold as Ryousuke sucked on a nipple and entered him again, "I don't know...what...I'm supposed to..."

Ryousuke claimed Takumi's mouth before he could finish his mostly incoherent thought. When the kiss broke, Ryousuke nibbled on his earlobe, hot breath sending a chill that brought goosebumps to Takumi's fair skin. "Hmm...don't bother finishing that sentence, Beautiful One," Ryousuke whispered in a tone so sultry and erotic that Takumi seemed to absorb it directly into his groin. He was already half hard again, and the ache for contact on his own arousal was increasing with every one of his lover's thrusts.

Ryousuke lowered his hand and was pleased to discover that his young lover was becoming aroused again. "You should know by now," he whispered, stroking Takumi firmly, "that everything you do...excites me..."

Takumi's cheeks heated instantly from the touch of Ryousuke's hand and from the suggestive words he said. He was soon painfully hard within Ryousuke's hand, a hand that was softer than a man's hand should have been, he thought. It was a strange thought, but he mused that Ryousuke's hands were almost feminine; they possessed slender, tapered fingers and warm, soft palms. His own hands were calloused thanks to the time spent working at the gas stand and at the moving company, but then, of course, Ryousuke wasn't raised to do that kind of work.

But that was where any resemblance to femininity ended, because Ryousuke's touch could be rough at times, as if he desperately wanted to bring Takumi to his own level of need. Takumi knew he was going to come again, and the thought of having another release in Ryousuke's bed made his erection throb and pulse with the anticipation.

The elder smirked a little. "Like right now...seeing you like this...," he said between languid kisses and breaths interrupted by his body's own demand for insistent rhythm, "I can't hold back..."

 _God, when he says things like that, I know that I definitely want this, and that he definitely wants this. I'm so turned on right now, I can't stand it!_

"Ryousuke..."

Takumi saw a look of pure passion in Ryousuke's eyes, his brow had more of the violet strands clinging to it, and his chest was heaving. "Hmmm?"

"Don't hold back...please..."

Ryousuke's eyes widened, and he urgently leaned down to share a hungry kiss with the Beautiful One. There were no more words spoken, only cries of pleasure-pain from Takumi and low sighs and moans from the elder as he plunged himself hurriedly in and out, prodding Takumi's core and stroking him urgently with his hand.

"Ahh...!" Takumi shouted as Ryousuke hit him hard, and he felt the surge of his second orgasm overtake him, his release spotting his abdomen. Ryousuke stopped moving, and Takumi could feel his own body clenching around the impossibly hard length inside of him. In his ecstasy, Takumi registered the vague sensation of one of those tapered fingers tracing his stomach. His eyes fluttered open, and Ryousuke's were closed as he put the finger in his mouth. Takumi was shocked, a little embarrassed, and a lot turned on.

 _What the hell?! Did he really just do what I think he did?!_

Before Takumi could fully process the sight, Ryousuke's body grew taut and he emitted a low groan. He resumed the rhythm abandoned a moment before, and Takumi, unwilling to accept the onset of fatigue or the lingering pain, moved with his lover to accept as much of the man as he could into his body. Whenever he moved, he could see the effect in the furrowing of Ryousuke's brow, the muscles in his arms and chest, which normally were subtly defined, became tense and formed an incredibly sexy dimension to Ryousuke's slender body. "Takumi...," he gasped, "...you...I...you are...my..."

The sentence was left unfinished as Ryousuke made a heaving sound and buried himself inside his lover, coming hard, his mind completely shrouded with passion. He collapsed on top of Takumi, trembling, clutching his upper arms so tightly that Takumi knew he would probably be left with bruises, and he didn't even care. Seeing how Ryousuke looked when he came was worth everything. It was a thrill to know that he gave his lover pleasure, and Takumi knew it would be incredibly difficult to keep that image from distracting him at any time of day or night when he was alone.

Ryousuke gently pulled out, thankful that no sound signifying pain came from Takumi. He brought the Beautiful One close to him, their labored breaths calming to a stationary rhythm as they held each other in a silence that said everything neither was willing to vocalize. Ryousuke glanced over at the clock on the nightstand, and then down at himself and the one he held in his arms and entwined in his legs. It was as if the gorgeous sculpture that was Takumi's body was still in the form of soft clay, molded exactly to fit within Ryousuke's embrace.

Hot. Sweaty. Disheveled. Spent.

And it was only ten o'clock.

Perfect.

There was plenty of time before sunrise to allow his heart to pretend that sharing a forever bed with Takumi could be a viable simulation.


	31. Chapter 31

Ryousuke's Campus Apt. 10:25 PM.

'I love him.'

The honesty of the thought had brought with it simultaneous sensations of liberty and anguish. For once in his life, Ryousuke was able to be himself. For once in his life, sex had been about love. He had to admit it to himself now that leaving Takumi behind was one hundred percent awful, and the thought frightened him. Somehow, unlocking the "Fujiwara Zone" on the street was less important than unlocking the secrets of Takumi's body and mind. Having his theory proved was quickly coming in as a distant second place to the desire to have Takumi both by his side and in his bed.

Being the bocchama of the family was now more like a prison sentence than ever it was before.

As the shudders of his orgasm waned, Ryousuke realized he was still clutching Takumi's upper arms in some kind of vice-like grip, his body still covering the younger man. Ryousuke shifted a little to his side, still embracing the Beautiful One in his arms as he pulled him close, Takumi's heartbeat within his chest resonating with Ryousuke's own. As they lay together, bodies still tangled in satiation, Ryousuke knew that "temporary" would never be good enough. He released the pressure from his hands, seeing the slight onset of bruising to soft skin. He chided himself a little for that, but the part of him that wanted to claim Takumi as his own was satisfied somewhat to see them. Until they faded, at least, Takumi would hopefully have a visual reminder that he had been shown the unrestrained passion Ryousuke wanted to give to him and to him alone. Takumi slinked out of his arms and rolled fully onto his back, his breathing still a bit ragged. Although Ryousuke would have preferred to keep him in an embrace, he let it go. It was still early.

Takumi had been so thrillingly vocal, and Ryousuke still couldn't believe that he had been lucky enough to have caused it. No matter how unsure of himself or of his sexuality Takumi might still be, Ryousuke thought, at least while in the heat of the moments of their joining, he allowed his instinct and emotions to take over. 'No,' he corrected himself. 'It wasn't intentional at all.' Ryousuke knew that instinct just happened with Takumi, and no intellectual allowances or non-allowances would stand a chance against its powerful force.

And what a force it was. Ryousuke dared to believe that his young driver loved him too. Certainly, there were plenty of logical factors that could get in the way of such a conclusion. Takumi could have been overwhelmed. He could have still been "testing something out". He could simply have been frustrated that his date with his girlfriend didn't go according to his original plan, but Ryousuke didn't think so. The hot tears that he kissed away from Takumi's clenched eyelids, the sound of his voice in ecstasy, and his taking of initiative at times all led Ryousuke to an unbelievable truth.

It was mutual in every sense of the word Ryousuke could imagine. Never before had he been brought to such a level of emotional fulfillment, and it was new and refreshing and terrifying in its own way.

For whatever reason, or, probably, for no reason based on logic at all, Takumi had decided that he wanted this. Ryousuke was sure of that as he now lay on his side, his lips barely brushing Takumi's shoulder, and his eyes closed, listening to every breath that came from the gorgeous man beside him.

Ryousuke spent several quiet minutes enjoying the warmth of having his protégé in bed with him again. His breathing had slowed to an even rhythm, and Ryousuke wondered if he was dozing a little. He reluctantly rose and went to the bathroom to tidy himself; he brought a bath towel with him when he returned to bed and gently passed it over Takumi's abdomen before folding it and placing it discreetly on the floor. Takumi didn't move; his eyes were still closed, and Ryousuke used that opportunity to admire his body and memorize every detail as he lay next to him once again. His skin was soft and fair with a decidedly peachy-pinkish hue. His chest was smooth, the musculature of his upper body shifted slightly with every breath. The notion that he was as perfect as sculpture passed through Ryousuke's mind again as he admired the younger man, and he made a mental note of thanks to the gods and to Takumi's parents for creating such a thing of beauty.

Hair was the color of a roasted chestnut, and it was so touchable and soft. His eyes were more of a hazel than a true brown, and not nearly as dark as Ryousuke's own. They were beautiful, seeming to be changeable in their color with every facial expression Takumi showed him. Having seen Takumi's father, Ryousuke thought that the young driver must favor his mother, whoever or wherever she was. Ryousuke had always been curious about Takumi's family life too, but, until now, there had been no need to ask personal questions like that, and Takumi never really offered any information about his upbringing on his own.

Things were different now, however, and Ryousuke found that he wanted to learn everything he could about Takumi before he left. He wanted to know about his life as a child, a pre-teen drifter, his experiences in school, everything. But, if there was one thing he thought he did know about him, it was that the younger man would be easily overwhelmed by Ryousuke's curiosity about him as an individual, so he made a mental decision to let things happen at a speed dictated by Takumi's comfort level. Though they would eventually be forced to part ways from physical intimacy, Ryousuke decided that he would refuse to lose Takumi as a friend if he couldn't keep him as a lover. Eventually, he hoped that Takumi would also like to keep that bond with him.

Even if he couldn't change his future as his Father's heir, he could at least make sure Takumi knew he had been loved. He knew also that no matter what kind of a "suitable match" was found for him, that Takumi would remain as the only person Ryousuke had ever allowed himself with whom to completely shed all his pretenses of duty and family honor.

"Takumi? Are you asleep?" Ryousuke asked as he ran his fingertips through the silken chestnut strands.

"No," Takumi whispered.

Ryousuke kissed his shoulder. "You're beautiful, you know."

Takumi opened his eyes and turned his head on the pillow so that they faced each other, a curious expression on his face. "That's weird."

Ryousuke propped himself up on his elbow, smiling and letting a soft chuckle escape him as he looked upon his partner's face. "Is it?"

"Yeah. Guys aren't beautiful," Takumi declared.

Ryousuke shrugged. "That's a matter of opinion, I think," he replied, pulling up the bed sheet a little to cover their lower bodies, but not so much as to obscure his sight of the younger completely.

The said furrowed his brow and looked at the ceiling. "I guess. But it's not really something you say to a guy."

Ryousuke sighed. "Does it bother you?"

Takumi considered. "I don't think 'bother' is right. I just think it's weird."

"Why?"

He turned his head to look at him again. "I'm really the 'girl' in this, right?" he blurted out.

 _Idiot._

Ryousuke smiled and put his arm across Takumi's chest. "Is that what's bothering you?"

"Wouldn't it bother you a little?"

"Not really. Not at this point in my life, no."

 _Wait. Does that mean he's been...the girl before? No way. I have a hard time believing that..._

Takumi scrunched up his nose. "Well, you're not the one who, I mean...damn. I don't know what I'm saying..."

Ryousuke knew where this was going. "So you think that because of how things have happened, that it makes you...the 'girl'?"

"Yeah," the young driver whispered, his cheeks growing crimson upon the admission.

Ryousuke exhaled. He raised his hand to his lover's face. "And you think that's how I perceive you? Because you're beautiful to me?" he whispered.

"I think you're weird for saying that."

Ryousuke chuckled. "Maybe I am. But, you _are_ beautiful, whether or not you think so."

Takumi raised his hand and drew it slowly across his face. "Stop saying that."

Ryousuke sighed, allowing the hand to be brushed away from his cheek. He put his own head down, resting it partly on his pillow and partly on Takumi's shoulder. "If you think that just because you've allowed me to share your body, that it makes you somehow submissive, or less 'manly' or some other such nonsense, you're wrong," he declared softly, raising his eyes to look at Takumi's face as the younger man contemplated the ceiling as if looking for some wisdom to appear magically upon it.

He blushed again, but he said nothing in response. This was all so new to him, Ryousuke thought, so naturally this would come up. Hadn't he felt the same way some years ago? Once again, he tried to tap into that feeling of insecurity, and remember the words that his first lover had said to him to allay similar concerns. "I understand your feelings you know. Someone once told me that being with someone who was willing to receive your body into his own was nothing to do with some pre-determined gender-based role."

Takumi turned his head briefly in response, but the look on his face told Ryousuke he wasn't quite ready to believe that. The hazel eyes quickly shifted into a faraway gaze, and he began to study the ceiling again. Ryousuke didn't want him to stray too far into his own world. To bring him back, he leaned in and planted a kiss behind an ear, a place that he had discovered was very sensitive to his young lover. Takumi exhaled and closed his eyes.

"It's about trust on the part of the person who receives," he whispered quietly into his ear, "and, for the person who gives, it's about honoring that trust, and the desire to please the person who has granted it. When I looked at it that way, instead of trying to figure out who was the 'man' and who wasn't, it made sense."

"I guess. I don't know. It's...hard for me to think like that," Takumi moaned, almost to himself, but he turned his head a little and his eyes seemed to be searching for the wisdom the ceiling had not provided.

Ryousuke placed his hand on Takumi's chest again as the younger one continued to lay nearly unmoving on his back. "Let me put it to you this way, then," he began, letting his hand travel across the width of the smooth chest and up to his shoulder where he squeezed lightly. He kept his mouth to Takumi's ear. "If I wanted to have a woman in my bed, I could have one."

Takumi blushed again, and turned his head away, having abandoned the ceiling in favor of contemplating the far wall of the bedroom.

 _So he knows the girls all like him. What does that prove?_

"So why wouldn't I?" Ryousuke gently asked, nibbling on an earlobe which was now even more accessible.

 _How the hell should I know? But...don't...stop that...either..._

Takumi only shrugged in response, though his breathing was getting heavier. Good. "The truth of the matter is," he continued, trailing his hand down Takumi's ribcage, "I find men to be much more exciting."

"R-Ryousuke...," he breathed as Ryousuke continued to suck on his earlobe and neck as he talked.

"And," Ryousuke continued, his voice low and thick, "what, exactly, about this body of yours...would you describe as 'feminine'?" He lightly pushed his hand under the bed sheet, and he heard Takumi's breath catch within the younger man's throat. "Certainly not...this," he said seductively, gently, intimately squeezing him.

Takumi couldn't help but to gasp a little.

 _Oh God..._

"So, I ask you, how in the world could you think that I'd mistake any part of you for being a girl, hmm?"

Takumi turned his head again and looked into Ryousuke's eyes. "I...don't know..." he eked out as the elder continued to heighten his desire again with his gentle strokes.

Ryousuke leaned in and their lips met. Takumi opened his mouth and Ryousuke gently pushed his tongue inside. "Or, perhaps," he breathed between kisses, "you'd prefer it this way..."

Takumi felt Ryousuke firmly grab his side and pull him on top. He braced himself over Ryousuke's body, his own body beginning to ache because the hand was no longer stroking him. "Ryousuke..."

Ryousuke raised his arms, lacing his hands around Takumi's neck. Saying nothing, he then slid his hands from Takumi's shoulders with a firm pressure, feeling every contour of his ample muscles as he moved down to his wrists, and then he placed his hands over the other's. "I do believe you have me at a disadvantage here," he soothed, pushing on the partner's hands and raising himself a little so that he was half sitting with Takumi looming over him, the legs of his protégé on either side of Ryousuke's own. He placed his head to the crook of Takumi's neck as the younger man continued to balance himself, his arms rigid. He could feel the pulse quicken as his temple touched Takumi's neck, and he felt fingers under his own hands curling into half-fists which dug into the mattress. "Does this suddenly make me a girl to you?" he whispered.

"No," came the hushed, if somewhat strained response.

 _I get it...ok...I get it... oh my God...I want to, but...I can't do that...I don't think I can do that here...I don't know how I would even begin to..._

"I see," Ryousuke replied huskily as he lay down on his back. Takumi remained over him, the pendant he wore swaying gently as it hung from his neck. "There have been times when you've had me like this, have there not?"

 _But I wasn't thinking then, and you're making me try to think right now!_

"Yeah."

"And have I resisted you?"

"No."

"Then, who's the girl here, I ask you?"

Takumi said nothing. It was still bothering him. Ryousuke decided to try a different approach. He pulled the teenager down onto his chest where Takumi rested his head as he shifted his body to occupy a position half draped onto Ryousuke's body, and half on his side on the bed. Ryousuke smiled to himself that the subtle change in position had brought certain things within reach. He threaded his fingers through Takumi's hair as the younger man settled himself.

"Takumi, when you need a haircut, what do you do?"

 _Huh?_

"What?" the Ace asked incredulously, looking up with a confused expression.

"Just humor me a minute, will you?" Ryousuke responded, placing a chaste kiss on Takumi's lips, lowering the chestnut-hued head back down to his chest, and reaching down with one hand to hold Takumi's body lightly again. There was no urgency in the touch, but Ryousuke wanted to keep his hand on the most masculine part of him, to reinforce the idea that there was no way Ryousuke saw him as anything but the man he was.

 _This feels...nice...it's strange him just holding me like this...but..._

"Okay. I'll humor you."

"So, what do you do?"

Takumi sighed, and Ryousuke thought it sounded a little exasperated. Cute.

"I drive around until I get to the first barber shop I see."

"And then?" Ryousuke prodded, gently exploring Takumi's length with his fingers.

 _Are you...nuts? What does this have to do with anything? And...how can I think when you're doing...that?!_

"And then I get my hair cut," Takumi breathed, barely able to find his voice as the older man caressed him. "Ryousuke, what does this have to do with anything?"

Ryousuke chuckled. "How much does it cost?"

"I don't know, about two thousand yen, I guess," the younger of the pair replied with a little scowl.

"Excellent," Ryousuke affirmed with a kiss into Takumi's hair that had the scent of the outdoors and of what he thought might be coconut fragranced shampoo. Adorable. "And it takes about how much time out of your busy day?"

Takumi exhaled, annoyed, and getting harder by the second. "About an hour, a half hour if there's no waiting."

"Okay. I will tell you a little something you might find enlightening. I'm extremely high maintenance."

"Huh?"

"When I decide I need a haircut, I go to a salon that I had to book over a month in advance," he began, twisting Takumi's hair with a finger. "When I go there, some nice girl hands me a coffee or some champagne, and I sit down and tell them what I want."

He saw Takumi smirk a little when he looked up. Ryousuke squeezed him a bit and the smirk faded into a sigh. Good.

"And then, another nice young girl washes my hair. Afterward, a person called a colorist, puts whatever color I'm in the mood for into my hair. Then I wait. Then, I get my hair washed again, then cut, by the best stylist in the place. He's a guy I've known for years, who, incidentally, does Keisuke's hair too."

"What?" Takumi asked wide-eyed. "No...way..."

"Now," Ryousuke whispered coyly, "Do you think Keisuke's hair stands up by itself? Believe me, he spends a lot of time and money to get his hair 'perfectly random'. And, I'm sure you realize that blonde is not his natural hair color," Ryousuke added playfully.

Takumi chuckled a little, and Ryousuke squeezed him again to wipe the smile off his face and to send his eyes rolling back.

 _You're torturing me. I think._

"So my stylist plays around with my hair until he thinks I'm pretty enough to walk out the door. Which, I do, after about two hours and after paying a ridiculous amount of money."

"It's only hair," Takumi grumbled. Honestly, he had no idea that Ryousuke spent that much time on his looks. As far as he knew, Keisuke just poured bleach on his head.

"Yes. And my brother and I both suffer from a healthy dose of vanity, and I'm worse about it than he is," Ryousuke affirmed with another gentle tug of the pleasing firmness in his hand.

Takumi seemed thoughtful, as if he was starting to understand what Ryousuke was getting at.

"Of the two of us, I'd say I'm more 'girly' than you by far."

Takumi rolled his eyes. He was punished a little for that, happily, with another tug to his length. "But, you're not a girl. You're just...fancy."

 _Oh God. Did I really just say what the shitty old man said about him?_

Ryousuke smiled before leaning in to kiss Takumi again. "So you're telling me I can be 'fancy', and still be a man, then?"

"Well, yeah. I guess."

"By that logic, then, it would stand to reason that you could be beautiful to me, and still be a man too, isn't that right?"

Takumi scowled.

Ryousuke tugged a little more and heard another hitched breath. "I know this is new for you. But, don't spend too much energy worrying about something like this. I'd rather you spend your energy letting me pleasure you instead..."

 _Oh God._

"Unless," Ryousuke whispered, "you think you'd like to try something different, hmm?"

Takumi opened his eyes and studied Ryousuke. God, he wanted to, but he was still unsure. And, it didn't help that the man had already gotten him so hard that it hurt. Was it really possible for him to be brought this many times this quickly? "Ryousuke...I think…you just need to finish what you are starting here..."

Wonderful.

Ryousuke slid himself out from under Takumi's weight onto his side and pulled Takumi against him, the younger driver's back to his chest, and his hand still on him. "I know the trust it takes for this. I do, so you don't need to worry."

Takumi only nodded, and felt his body melt into Ryousuke's arms.

The lovemaking began lazily this time, Ryousuke having the need only to give Takumi a climax that would relax the younger man so that he would sleep peacefully until morning. He kissed the nape of his neck as they both lay together. He prepared him gently with lubricated fingers until he thought Takumi was ready to accept him once again, then Ryousuke prepared himself, his own body aching and needful. When he entered him, he held himself still, allowing Takumi's involuntary movements in reaction to Ryousuke's continued stroking of his body to dictate the pace. Once he could sense that Takumi was close, he grasped him a little more firmly and the younger responded with an abrupt arching of his back, one that had allowed for Ryousuke to subtly deepen his penetration with a gentle thrust into that exquisite body. 'So...hot...'

'"Ryousuke...I'm...I need to..." Takumi breathed. Ryousuke could feel the moisture upon his fingers as they passed over the head of his arousal. Amazingly, he was on the verge of release again, his body swollen and thick within Ryousuke's hand.

Ryousuke whispered into his ear. "Do you trust me?"

Takumi nodded once.

 _Oh God, when it's like this, I know. I do love you. I need to come…again…don't make me wait too long..._

Ryousuke kissed the nape of Takumi's neck again. "Move with me," he whispered, gently guiding Takumi to his knees as he continued to stroke him from behind, and holding himself still inside Takumi's tight body.

"Ryousuke...I don't...I..." Takumi gasped.

 _Like this... On...my knees...isn't this...embarrassing? No. I trust him. And his hand...still feels good...oh God, I really need to come...hurry..._

"It'll feel good this way, I promise."

Ryousuke soothed his lover with kisses on his neck and back; he gripped him more tightly as he stroked Takumi's throbbing erection. He was almost there, but Ryousuke wanted to bring him _just_ to the edge so that when he got the angle he wanted, Takumi could immediately lose control.

Takumi groaned a little when he felt Ryousuke penetrate him more deeply, but at a pace that was agonizingly slow and measured. It was almost torturous.

 _Oh damn...it does feel good like this...but...oh God...faster...you're...killing me..._

The sounds Takumi made in bed were incredibly sexy, and Ryousuke finally gave in to a little of his own need with a couple of insistent thrusts into the firm yet supple body, taking in the sight of flexing muscles in his back, the perfect shape of his ass, and the feeling of his hard member in his hands; he knew that it was about time for Takumi to have his release. He slowed again to a barely perceptible motion and Takumi uttered something unintelligible in frustrated response. Ryousuke could see that his hands were in fists again, and his whole body was taut.

"Oh...shit...Ryousuke...I...fast...er..." Takumi breathed, desperation in his voice.

'Perfect,' Ryousuke thought, his own sensitivity reaching its peak. He was more than willing to comply, and he thought he had finally found the perfect angle for Takumi's body during his slow exploration of it. He quickened his pace; it was ecstasy as Takumi clenched down upon him when he hit that spot that was so undeniably sweet.

"Oh...OH!" Takumi yelled as his release was pulled from him with Ryousuke's hands and a place deep inside of him kept begging for more. As Ryousuke continued to answer the unspoken need for continued attention to that place deep within him, he felt like he was still coming, the pleasure overtaking his entire body. Through his closed eyelids, Takumi could have sworn that he saw sparks; he felt like he might faint, he was dizzy and disoriented, and it felt like his arms and legs were about to turn to jelly. What the hell kind of pleasure was this anyway?

"Ryousuke! Oh, God I..."

 _Love you..._

Ryousuke quickly brought himself to his own completion and held fast to Takumi's trembling form with a firm grip on his hips. 'I know,' he thought in response to what he hoped had been the missing words from the sentence. Takumi just about collapsed to the bed beneath them, breathing hard, and Ryousuke followed before gently removing himself from the body, but still remaining in a good position to give Takumi a reassuring shoulder and back rub. As the younger man lay before him, Ryousuke was thrilled to think he had given him pleasure beyond the pain, and he set to work lightly massaging his back to relax the muscles still taut with exertion.

He leaned down and kissed the nape of his neck again which was damp with a light layer of perspiration. "I hope that pleased you," he whispered, feeling refreshed and exhilarated at the thought that Takumi had been so responsive, and that he had obviously felt pleasure enough to be completely wiped out by it. By contrast, Ryousuke felt downright energetic.

"Y-yeah...," Takumi sighed.

 _Pleased...is not what I'd call it...more like...I don't know, but "pleased" doesn't really cover it, Ryousuke...I can't even move._

"I'll be back in a little bit, okay, so just rest for a while."

He saw a barely-there nod. Seeing Takumi in this kind of spent afterglow was wonderful.

He went to the bathroom to take a shower. Eventually, he'd have Takumi do the same so he could tidy up the bed, but he thought a little doze might be in order for his lover. He bathed quickly and decided to make a little run to the convenience store. He planned on keeping Takumi around for breakfast, and the apartment was pretty much devoid of food; and there were a few other necessities he wanted to pick up before going back to bed for sleep.

He threw on some yoga pants and a t-shirt and dug out a pair of sandals he'd forgotten about to put on when he reached the door. He brought out a spare set of sheets, setting them on the bedside chair, figuring to change them when he returned. He glanced over at the bed and Takumi had not moved an inch. He really was spent. Perfect.

"Takumi?" he asked as he gingerly crouched down at the bedside.

Takumi opened one hazel eye, his face almost mashed into the pillow.

"I'm going to go out for some breakfast for us for the morning. Is there anything you'd like?"

 _Aren't you the energetic one...and I can't even lift my head…sheesh. I guess that's what happens when you lose it that many times…_

"Not really...whatever you want," he managed to eke out, his voice muffled by the pillow.

Ryousuke ran his fingers through Takumi's damp hair. "I won't be long. The shower's all yours."

 _If I can even get up..._

"Okay...," the younger replied weakly, his whole body feeling like a lead weight.

Takumi barely registered the sound of Ryousuke disarming the security system and leaving the apartment. He felt like he could fall asleep in seconds. How many times had Ryousuke brought him? Who knew that it could feel that good being with another man?

 _Is this really okay?_

Strangeness. Excitement. Danger. Trust. Passion. Lust. Affection. Hurt. Love.

What the hell did it all mean anyway?

 _Shower. Now._

He managed to drag himself out of bed, his body resisting every motion. With every measured step, flashes of physical memory coursed through him.

 _It was...amazing. He really is good at almost everything, I guess._

He staggered into the shower. Once again, Ryousuke had left towels out for him and the black yukata. Takumi bathed and dressed himself in the somewhat ill-fitting garment. Before he pulled it fully about his shoulders, he could see the faint marks that Ryousuke's hands had left on his arms in the mirror. He was still pretty sure he wasn't "beautiful", and he was pretty sure Ryousuke was still weird for thinking he was. But, the mirror also confirmed the truth his body was telling him in with every one of its strained muscles; for now, he belonged to Ryousuke, and Ryousuke belonged to him.

Fujiwara Takumi _belonged_ to someone he'd always thought was so far out of reach. That person who was out getting groceries for breakfast for him. That person who had welcomed him to his albeit "second home", but a home nonetheless. That person who had been naked with him, and with whom he had been naked. That person who had pleasured him beyond his most wildest and deepest secret fantasies.

When that person left, Takumi thought, part of him would leave too.

Takumi returned to the bedroom; the bed was a mess. He felt his cheeks flush a little at the sight of sheets half torn off and the coverlet unceremoniously piled on the floor next to similarly unceremonious pilings of Ryousuke's clothes and his own jeans and socks. He ventured to peek inside the ample closet and he found a basket that he thought might be a clothes hamper. A quick lift of the lid did nothing to confirm it, but he figured that's what it was. He picked up the expensive slacks and tore off the sheets and tossed everything inside the empty wicker container, he went into the living room and grabbed his own discarded shirt, and put it and his jeans and socks back in the bedroom on the chair. He saw a set of sheets on it, and he made the bed, sensing Ryousuke was one of those people who couldn't stand for anything to be out of place.

 _For as long as I can, Ryousuke. For as long as you can, I want to do this with you. Don't forget me when you leave. I won't forget you when you go. I guess I am the girl...but...I trust you...I always ha_ ve...

As Takumi was replacing the coverlet, he heard the opening of the door and the quiet sounds of shoes being left in the vestibule, and the familiar crinkling noise of a bag from the convenience store. He walked out into the main room and he could see Ryousuke putting things in the refrigerator in the small kitchen.

"Hi," Takumi said plainly.

 _Hi? HI? Idiot._

Ryousuke stood up and closed the refrigerator door quietly. "Hi," he replied with a reassuring smile.

 _Okay. Why doesn't he think I'm a complete idiot?_

"I thought you'd be asleep," Ryousuke said softly. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah."

 _I'm fine. I'm exhausted and achy, but, it's a nice tired for once._

"Okay," Ryousuke answered as he moved close enough to run a hand through Takumi's barely towel-dry hair. "I didn't know what you might like to eat in the morning, so I got a few things. I don't usually keep perishables around here, but, that can be easily remedied."

"Eh?"

"That is, if you care to spend time with me here. When our schedules allow," Ryousuke continued, feeling like a schoolboy who was making some kind of confession. 'Oh well. That's what it is anyway,' he thought, and it really wasn't such a horrible thing.

"I know you're busy, though."

"Things can be arranged around that," Ryousuke whispered, kissing Takumi lightly on the lips, "if that's what you want."

"Yeah."

"You're busy too, after all," he added.

"Not like you..."

Ryousuke sighed. "Takumi, I'm a very selfish person. To that end, I have no problem making time for this, time for you. I," he paused, "...time to be with you is not something I have a lot of, as things stand. Do you understand?"

 _He's talking about December. December...it's only a few months away. I know that. We both know that._

Takumi nodded and he leaned up for a slow kiss, his tongue caressing Ryousuke's. "I know that," he affirmed. "I guess I'll need...your schedule," he added, the heat coming to his cheeks again.

"That can be provided."

"And," Takumi continued, "I guess I'll need directions here. I suck at directions."

"Done," Ryousuke replied with a gentle laugh, elated, and demonstrating his elation by pulling Takumi into another embrace.

Takumi tentatively put his arms around Ryousuke, breathing in the scent of a now familiar soap blended with a hint of tobacco and mints. Ryousuke was wearing a t-shirt. With nothing on over it. And...sweatpants? No. But, they were something similar. Some fancy, rich person's idea of sweats. Before he realized it, he laughed softly.

 _Shit._

"Does something amuse you?" Ryousuke said coyly.

 _Crap._

"You're...casual. I'm not used to seeing you in, well, a t-shirt."

Ryousuke chuckled again. "You've seen me naked. I thought that was as casual as I could get," he remarked.

Takumi pulled back with a little scowl. "That's not what I meant," he deadpanned, feeling a little embarrassed.

"I don't always wear dress clothes when I'm at home, you know."

 _Sure you don't._

"It's...different," Takumi ventured to explain, though the expression on his face told Ryousuke that he felt like he didn't choose the right words.

Ryousuke studied that beautiful face. There was meaning behind the statement, he was sure of that much. What Takumi meant exactly, Ryousuke wasn't quite as sure. "This is a 'different' situation. For both of us," he said quietly.

Takumi seemed to be trying to think, but, thankfully, he hadn't slipped into his own world. "Yeah, but, I guess what I meant was - crap. Never mind. It's nothing."

Ryousuke sighed a little. "Tell me what you were thinking anyway. I want to know."

 _Idiot. You should stop talking. Forever. But...I do want to tell him things._

"Well, I was just thinking that I'm lucky," he blurted out.

 _Girl. But I mean it. I do feel lucky._

"Lucky?" Ryousuke asked curiously. "Why?"

 _Shit. Shut UP!_

But he continued, even though his brain was begging for him to be silent. "I think that, because I think not many people see you this way. I feel like you don't let people see Ryousuke. Not the Ryousuke...I saw tonight, and before. So I feel...lucky."

 _And like a girl. And lame. Don't forget lame. Dumbass._

Ryousuke was overwhelmed, and he could only respond to Takumi's words with a tender kiss. "Takumi, I'm one hundred percent certain that I'm the one who is lucky here," he whispered when their lips parted, "But, you're right. I don't let my guard down easily."

Takumi nodded. "I think I know that."

"So," Ryousuke continued, embracing him once again, "you should know how important you are to me."

Takumi felt his heart begin to race, but his brain finally succeeded in keeping him silent, and thankfully so. If he opened his mouth to speak, he was sure that something would escape that he'd never be able to take back, no matter that he instinctively thought Ryousuke wouldn't be upset to hear it.

"Ryousuke...?" Takumi quietly spoke into Ryousuke's chest, not daring to look into his eyes.

"Hmm?"

"I...don't really mind telling you things."

Ryousuke exhaled. "I'm glad."

 _If I say anything else, he'll know what I mean. He'll know even if I say something stupid. But, I kind of want him to know._

"And," Takumi continued in a whisper so soft Ryousuke had to strain to hear it, "I like your apartment."

 _Nice job. You really did say something stupid. But you know what I meant, Ryousuke._

Ryousuke thought, hoped, he translated correctly. Takumi liked being with him, and wanted to, despite the need for it to end all too soon. Ryousuke thought it also meant something much more than that as well.

"You don't have to say anything else, Takumi," Ryousuke soothed. "And, I probably don't have to either, right?"

 _So he really does feel...the same..._

"No. You don't have to."

 _Even if I want you to. But I don't want to, so that's only fair._

Ryousuke released Takumi from his embrace when he thought he had recovered sufficiently from the warmth that heated his own face. He might as well have said "I love you" outright, but he was still not willing to utter the words with his voice that his thoughts were so free to speak.

'Not because I don't want to,' he said silently to his lover, 'but because...I can't...'

Takumi raised his hand to his lips stifling a yawn. "Ryousuke, can I tell you something else?" he asked, and it appeared he was desperately looking to shift the conversation from a truth that was simultaneously wonderful and dangerous.

"Anything," Ryousuke replied.

"I think you almost killed me."

Ryousuke chuckled softly, planting a chaste kiss on Takumi's lips, and allowing the conversation to shift after all. He was relieved too, and that he couldn't really deny. "Tired?"

"Yeah."

"Good tired?"

"Y-yeah."

"Perfect. Come on."

Ryousuke walked back toward the bedroom. He was still carrying the bag from the store with him, but Takumi's brain was too hazy to wonder why as he followed.

Ryousuke entered the bedroom expecting to make the bed, but he was charmed to see that his bed was neatly made, and that Takumi had tidied the floor. "I could have made the bed for you, Takumi."

Takumi shrugged in response, and tightened the yukata a little.

"Here," Ryousuke offered, handing him the bag.

 _Huh?_

"What's this?"

"Call it a present, I guess. Sorry I didn't wrap it."

Takumi took the bag and opened it, his cheeks heating a little and a smile briefly dancing across his lips. Good.

Takumi pulled a toothbrush out of the bag and there were other travel size toiletry items in the bag too.

Ryousuke cupped Takumi's face within his hands. "You came here without your 'stuff'," he said by way of explanation.

"Yeah. I wasn't really thinking when I left the house."

Ryousuke chuckled. Thank God he didn't have time to think.

"I said it was a present, but, I think they're things I'd prefer for you to leave here," Ryousuke whispered as he leaned in to plant a kiss in that wonderfully sensitive spot behind Takumi's ear.

 _No. Even if I want to, I don't think my body can do it right now. Stop. That._

"Thank you for the present. I'm going to go and use it now," Takumi hurriedly said, ducking out of the reach of Ryousuke's mouth and breath on his ear and heading into the bathroom.

'Too bad,' Ryousuke thought, smirking to himself, and deciding that trying to get more out of Takumi was just a shade this side of sadistic. He pulled down the covers of the bed; he knew Takumi was exhausted and he needed to sleep. By contrast, however, Ryousuke was still wide awake.

Takumi emerged from the bathroom and got into the bed. "Get some sleep, okay? I'll behave," Ryousuke said lightly.

He received a little scowl in response that said the younger wasn't sure he believed him.

"Promise," Ryousuke playfully added, putting his hand by his heart, as if that would convince his tired lover.

"You're not tired at all. Are you," Takumi declared.

Ryousuke leaned down. "I'm going to do a little work before bed. Do you mind?"

"No."

"Okay. I'll come to bed soon. To sleep," he affirmed, just in case.

Takumi nodded and closed his eyes. Ryousuke had the notion again that this was a perfect scenario as he closed the bedroom door and sat down at his desk. He flipped open his laptop and prepared to do a little studying to bore him enough to go to sleep. As he immersed himself in the minutiae of biochemistry, the thoughts of navigating that world without Takumi kept nagging at the back of his mind.

Why couldn't he find some simulation to tell his Father, nicely, politely, to go screw?

Knowing that Takumi was sleeping in the next room really did make the crappy apartment more of a home than the large and comfortable bedroom in his Father's house ever would be. With no simulation forthcoming, and the boredom from his studies sinking in, Ryousuke closed the laptop and went to the bedroom. He changed into his yukata and brushed his teeth, the sight of a second toothbrush on the sink of the small bathroom bringing something akin to ease and comfort to him that he had never felt before.

The bed was already pleasingly warm when he slipped beneath the covers. His last waking thoughts were a realization that sleep would come peacefully, in the way only shared sleep could.


	32. Chapter 32

Ryousuke's Campus Apt. 7:15 AM

Takumi opened his eyes. He didn't know what time it was; everything was quiet and the room was dim. He felt as though he'd been sleeping for a year; he hadn't even noticed when Ryousuke had come to bed. As the awareness that came with waking increased, Takumi finally registered the sound of slow, even breathing from the man whose bed he was sharing. He turned his head on the pillow and looked at the elder man as he slept.

Ryousuke was laying on his side, the covers pulled up to his shoulders, the soft sheets and blanket creating gentle slopes of fabric around his slender body. Takumi smirked a little because the blankets were not exactly evenly distributed. While he awoke with the sheet and blanket only half covering him, Ryousuke was snuggled in like a little kid. No matter how much Ryousuke gave of himself to him, to everyone, Takumi took some small delight in the discovery that Ryousuke was a complete and unabashed blanket hog. Though something like that was not what one would call a big deal, it said something very comforting to Takumi as he lay next to him, sharing the warmth from his body if not from the bed linens. This was the real Ryousuke, and Takumi knew that not many other people had seen it.

 _He looks so...peaceful. Even when I've seen him sleeping on our expeditions, it almost looks as though he still focused on something, even when his eyes are closed. I've never seen him look this way. It's...wonderful._

Takumi turned onto his side, letting the soft sheets fall slightly as he moved. He looked over at the nightstand; it was still early. It was unusual for him to wake first, but Takumi had no idea how late Ryousuke had stayed up. Knowing Ryousuke, it was entirely possible that he'd only been asleep for an hour or so; Takumi had no idea how anyone could function with as little sleep as the man allowed himself to take. Takumi got out of bed quietly to use the bathroom. When he returned to the bedroom, he discovered that his lover had shifted a little in his sleep. Takumi stood as if mesmerized, watching a Ryousuke that, for the moment, seemed to be free of all his pressures and responsibilities.

He wondered if he should leave to allow him to sleep in; Takumi had the Imp after all. But, he remembered that Ryousuke had gone out specifically to get food for breakfast. Besides that, Takumi didn't want to leave at all. The pleasure Ryousuke had given him, the feelings that he had showered upon him led Takumi to understand that there was no need to simply accept the _idea_ or the _theory_ that he was loved by the man who had been his mentor for the last half-year or so. Takumi had felt that he was _actually_ loved, and he knew well the intensity such an emotion could have. There was no doubt in his mind that he loved Ryousuke, no matter that he probably would never be able to tell him so. Ryousuke didn't have to say anything either, and Takumi thought that he needed to work very hard to make sure he wouldn't ever have to. If he selfishly asked Ryousuke to say the words, Takumi thought that he'd be adding even more pressure to him, and that was something he definitely didn't want to do. Takumi's mind began to travel to other memories of the night before, how it felt to sleep with him again, how strange and wonderful and exciting it was to admit to himself that Ryousuke was incredibly sexy. Takumi had never experienced such pleasure before; Ryousuke obviously knew what he was doing, and Takumi found himself wanting more of it. Of him. Of his kisses. His touches. His whispers. His voice. His...body.

 _What should I do? I want to wake him, but maybe I should let him sleep. But maybe he wouldn't want to sleep too long; he's so busy and he's spent all this time with me, so maybe he has things he should be doing. Damn it. What should I do?_

Takumi stared at Ryousuke for a minute more before deciding that he could put on a pot of coffee. Or maybe it was rude to go into the kitchen and poke around without consent? Takumi didn't know, but he took the chance that Ryousuke wouldn't be offended and went to the small kitchen. He knew well that Ryousuke drank coffee like it was going out of style, having occasionally observed the team leader discreetly sipping from a thermos while on their expeditions when he thought no one was looking. It was as though he desperately wanted to shield the team from the truth that he was obviously in a perpetual state of exhaustion. Of course, Ryousuke took time for sleep when they traveled; he only arrived on his own in the FC twice on their many expeditions, usually riding as a passenger in Van #1 as Fumihiro drove instead. Takumi knew he usually slept the whole way, and Fumihiro sometimes had difficulty waking him, even after several tries. He heard Keisuke mutter "I'm glad I don't have _that_ job" a few times, and Takumi had actually ventured to ask his teammate once why he would say such a thing.

Keisuke had rolled his eyes. "Trust me, Fujiwara. I've spent enough mornings in the same house as that guy to know that he can be a real prick when he first wakes up. Fumihiro better have some sickly strong coffee ready if he knows what's good for him." Takumi had felt his own jaw drop a little at the time. 'Ryousuke-san? A prick? No way,' he had thought, supposing that was something only a little brother could get away with saying. Though Keisuke had said something not very nice about his Aniki, he had said it with a smile.

Takumi succeeded in finding a canister of coffee grounds placed, logically, in a cabinet directly above the coffee maker. Also, logically, a small sugar bowl was immediately beside the canister, and a perfunctory container of non-dairy creamer was also present, presumably for guests since Takumi knew Ryousuke always drank his coffee black. He spooned what he thought was enough, and then he added a few more tablespoons of coffee grounds into the coffee maker for good measure; the coffee Ryousuke handed to him the week before was indeed quite strong, so strong that Takumi thought his usual one sugar cube wasn't quite enough to cut through its bitterness, though he refrained from asking for another.

As he had gotten more familiar with the Takahashi brothers over the last year, Takumi had found himself staring at them from time to time as they talked with one another. Lately, it seemed as though the two could easily step into each others' shadows. There were some times in which they had a conversation, but really, it was Keisuke making some motion with his hand, and Ryousuke immediately understanding what idea it was that Keisuke was expressing. They were so close in everything, connected; their heights only differed by centimeters, Keisuke being a shade taller than his elder brother. If he put aside the blonde hair, Takumi noticed that the two of them did look similar too, though there were certainly subtle differences in their faces. Every emotion Keisuke felt could be read on his face like a book, while Ryousuke's expression was often unreadable, or just, well, serious. Though their height was nearly the same, their build was different too, Ryousuke being the more slender, and Keisuke being the more muscular. Takumi realized he had some kind of fascination with the two of them after all. He had the passing thought that maybe he found them so interesting because he himself was an only child, and didn't have a brother or any person in his life connected to him in the same way it appeared that Ryousuke and Keisuke were connected to each other.

He caught himself thinking about what his life would have been like if Ryousuke had been his older brother. Would Ryousuke have helped him with his homework growing up? Probably. It would have been nice to do more than scrape by in school. If he had problems, would Ryousuke have listened? If Ryousuke was his Aniki, would he have been able to go to him for advice when he found out about what Mogi was doing instead of wrecking the hachi-roku? Probably.

But, if he had been Ryousuke's little brother, Takumi also had the thought that it would be nearly unbearable. Ryousuke did so well in school; no matter how much help Takumi might have gotten, he was sure that he would never make the same marks, not in a million years. Ryousuke could easily focus on any task, and his parents likely had no reason ever to scold him. He probably never skipped school, he probably won all the academic award ribbons Takumi would sometimes see bestowed upon the members of the higher ranking classes of his own school. If Ryousuke had been his Aniki, probably no one would notice Takumi at all.

When Ryousuke had told him about Keisuke's childhood, that very notion had come into Takumi's mind once again. Though now it was obvious that Keisuke loved his brother dearly, Takumi could only imagine how tough it would be to be constantly compared to someone like Ryousuke. He wondered if Keisuke rebelled because he felt like no matter what he did, it would never be as good as what Ryousuke had done before him. Takumi could understand the frustration; he'd probably end up frustrated too. Maybe he would have rebelled like Keisuke did when he was younger too, especially if what Ryousuke had said was true about their parents not giving Keisuke attention or as much affection as they gave their eldest. Takumi had himself wondered if he had been an unwanted child from time to time; he didn't have a mother in the house, and, though he knew his father loved him, it was a decidedly "tough love" most of the time. He didn't know anything about his mother, whether she was alive or dead, or where she had been his whole life. The only thing he'd heard was his father occasionally murmuring the name "Jenny" when he was passed out from drinking, but Takumi never asked just who "Jenny" was, and his father never remembered uttering the name. For all Takumi knew, "Jenny" could have referred to anyone, and might not have been his mother's name at all. Since all the family he ever knew was his father and his father alone, Takumi had taken his own cues from the man, deciding that if Bunta didn't feel it important enough to talk about with him, then it wasn't really that big of a deal.

However, as he learned about how tough Keisuke's life had been as a child, that he was probably abused more than Ryousuke admitted, Takumi did believe he had a better understanding of Keisuke. It was enough for him to accept his apology, and enough so that he had found himself once again sharing the bed of Keisuke's brother.

If Keisuke had gone through life feeling unwanted, it wasn't really surprising that he would be capable of such strong-willed behavior. Takumi could relate to those feelings quite well. As much as Keisuke was always going off half-cocked, or running his mouth, he was actually a much deeper person than what he appeared to be. Takumi respected not only his incredible skills behind the wheel, but he had to admit he had respect for Keisuke as an individual, and Takumi decided it wasn't worth the energy to dwell on the things he had said to him anymore. Takumi realized that Keisuke's words were probably said out of hurt and anger that his beloved brother kept such a big secret from him. Takumi now realized that it must have made it ten times worse for him to find out it had been his rival and friend who had slept with his precious Aniki than if it had been a girl, or even some other guy he didn't know.

The coffee maker was switched on and Takumi returned to the bedroom. Ryousuke had shifted again, and the blankets had settled out of the cocoon Ryousuke created for himself and now were laying lower across his waistline as Ryousuke lay on his back. The dark violet yukata had loosened, and Takumi could see a swath of the smooth, pale skin of his lover's chest framed by the dark fabric. He was staring again, and the heat crept to his face. Ryousuke was subtly different from his brother, and, as Takumi looked down at his own body, completely different from Takumi himself.

 _We're both guys. But he's...his body is so different from mine...is that what's so appealing? To hold someone similar, but different at the same time? I don't really understand what makes him attracted to me. But, I liked it. If I was in love with him just because I look up to him, it would be like a brother, right? But, I'm attracted to him too, I want him to touch me and kiss me. I liked having him inside me...So that means I'm gay. I guess. But I can still think of girls and get off...would he be upset with me if I asked him to explain it to me? I don't really understand how he thinks of things...I can't think like he does._

Takumi took a deep breath. He'd always thought Ryousuke was handsome, he'd always thought he was cool, stylish, and impeccable. That was before he'd been intimate with him, before the secret fantasy became real. Now it was as real as was the persistent ache in his body, that which remained after Ryousuke had given him pleasure beyond his wildest imagination. Takumi could admit it to himself now; what had once been admiration, or maybe, _maybe,_ a crush was now something deeper and more profound. He loved Ryousuke, not as a big brother, and not as a demigod of the togue, but as a _lover._ The way his body responded to Ryousuke's touch; there was no denying it. Takumi knew for sure he wasn't straight. He started to think about the people he knew, and he wondered if he had ever felt like this toward any other men in his life.

 _No. It's only him. Why only him? I'd never let any other guy touch me. I'd never kiss another guy. I'd never have sex with another guy. Would I? I don't think so. So, if not, then I'm not gay then. But I still did it with him. So I'm...a switch hitter? Isn't that what Keisuke-san called it? Good God. I should ask Ryousuke when he wakes up. We won't be together very long, and he'll have a wife, and I'll probably, eventually, find another girlfriend. So maybe he can tell me exactly what he is, so then maybe I'll know what I am too._

As he climbed back into bed, careful not to wake Ryousuke, he gingerly brushed away the bangs that had slipped over Ryousuke's forehead as he slept. Ryousuke didn't move at all, Takumi barely saw a slight twitch in his cheek. Usually he was the one being teased for his incredible ability to sleep through anything, in any situation, no matter what kind of pressure he was facing. It appeared Ryousuke could be an equally heavy sleeper when he wanted to be. Satisfied that the elder wouldn't wake from merely staring at him, Takumi allowed himself to do it. Ryousuke's skin was fair and unblemished, almost too perfect. Takumi searched his face, his neck, the exposed part of his chest, any part of Ryousuke's visible skin, but he was unable to find a single imperfection, not even a freckle. There were no scars on him that Takumi could see, having seen a few on Keisuke when they dressed in their shared sleeping arrangements for battles, and having thought it a product of him being a "boys will be boys" type of kid. He wondered now, however, if the scars on Keisuke's skin came from sources other than childhood mischief, and Takumi figured that was probably true for some of them.

Conversely, Ryousuke's skin was like a clean leaf of paper, and Takumi wondered if Ryousuke ever got into a fistfight before, or if he ever fell off a bike, or took a bad slide into third base in a game of baseball. Takumi still had a mark on his knee from the time he fell off the very top of a jungle gym at his elementary school playground. At six years old, it might as well have been a cliff. But Takumi got teased enough about certain other things without adding "scaredy-cat" to the list, so he climbed up instead of running away. It was all that one mean kid's fault, wanting to play some stupid game called King of the Hill and insisting that Takumi was the perfect king since he never talked, so he couldn't give orders. He had needed thirty stitches, and it was only a miracle of his impossible luck that he didn't break his knee. His father had been so pissed to come and collect him from the hospital, that Takumi had been made to do, for weeks, as much of the housework a six year old with a stitched up knee could do.

"That's your punishment for being an idiot. If that brat tells you to swallow gasoline, will you do that too, Moron?!" Dad had shouted.

"I didn't want to run away!" Takumi remembered insisting as he cried and hiccupped like a baby.

"There's a difference between running away and having common sense, Boy!"

"I'm _hic-_ sorry _-up_!"

"Too bad. Clean the house properly so you can earn back the money I lost when I had to close the shop to come get you, and for the outrageous medical bill I was handed."

"I'm sorry."

Bunta sighed. "Takumi, you don't need to do stupid things to prove you're not a coward. But, I guess, you're a kid, and you're not very bright, so I shouldn't expect too much. Just try to keep it to when the shop is closed for the day, ok, Dummy?"

"Okay."

Bunta had walked back into the storeroom muttering something under his breath. Takumi had heard it, even though he knew it wasn't meant to be heard.

"Where the hell are you when I need you?"

His father got drunk that night, and it was the first time Takumi had seen it for himself as he peeked around the corner of the staircase, having been awakened during the night by the clattering of several empty liquor bottles. It was the first and only time he saw his father get angry at _her_ , whoever _she_ was.

Takumi thought scars were a way to mark lessons learned. That was the night Takumi learned not to ever ask about _her._ The healed-over scar tissue was barely visible anymore, but the sight of it always had the association of that night, and of something he wasn't supposed to talk about with his father.

Ryousuke had no scars that he could see, but he thought that if the elder had any at all, they were probably all in his massive brain. It was where he kept everything; endless information about mechanics and specs of makes and models Takumi had never heard of, racing stats and medical procedures, his inflated sense of duty and respect for his family, the love for his brother, his disdain for his predetermined life, and, of course, the fact that he was a guy who secretly had sex with other guys.

 _I'll keep your secret Ryousuke. I don't want you hurt. I just want you..._

Takumi thought it had been his imagination, but now he knew it was true that there was a certain aura of sadness surrounding his mentor, and it was especially visible when the man thought no one was watching him. Like when he'd sneak his sips of coffee, or when he'd disappear from the group to sit under a tree with only his laptop, Takumi saw it. Those were the effects of what had to be the scarring of Ryousuke's ability to be more free with his emotions, never confiding in anyone, and never letting anyone past his carefully crafted exterior. Those were the scars he bore alone, hidden from others, the ones that made his affairs meaningless, and the ones that Takumi wanted desperately to heal. Takumi figured that if Ryousuke's Father really did put everything on his son's shoulders, he probably had plenty of those scars too, ones about which only someone who knew him well would ever learn.

Takumi decided he wanted to know everything about Ryousuke, and he had to learn it quickly.

He wondered what Ryousuke was like as a kid, if he had always been serious. Did Ryousuke ever fail at anything he tried? Did he really go clothes shopping as much as Keisuke claimed he did? Did he know how to cook? Did he have a maid at home? What was his favorite food? Did he have a favorite anything? When was his birthday? What was his blood type?

 _I'm a girl._

But, there was another question that Takumi kept returning to in his mind as he lay next to his sleeping lover.

 _How...do I...make you happy?_

And another one, one that brought heat to Takumi's entire body.

 _How should I touch you?_

Before Takumi had realized his own actions, he _was_ touching Ryousuke. A finger traced his aquiline nose, then down to his lips, his chin, his neck, before Takumi pulled it back quickly.

 _What am I doing to a sleeping person?!_

But Ryousuke didn't wake.

Slowly, cautiously, he placed the flat of his palm on Ryousuke's chest. He could feel the steady beat of Ryousuke's sleeping heart in his hand, and the skin as soft as the silk of the yukata and the luxurious sheets of the bed.

 _A man's body. Ryousuke's body. A body like mine, but different than mine._

Ryousuke moved a little, and Takumi thought he was starting to wake, but he did not. The brief stir caused the blankets to lower a bit more, and Takumi could see that Ryousuke had either not tied his yukata, or that it had come untied at some point during the time he slept. His cheeks heated.

 _Ryousuke's body. Slender. Smooth. Nearly naked._

Takumi cast a quick glance lower before catching himself.

 _What are you looking at?!_

Was it curiosity, or desire? Both?

 _I've touched him there before, but...oh God, I want to...see. I'm...getting hard...again...pervert._

Takumi lifted his hand from Ryousuke's chest and turned on his side, facing away from the older man. Was it because he had decided it was okay to admit Ryousuke was sexy? Or was it because he admitted to himself that he loved him? Takumi didn't know, but all he could think about was Ryousuke's body, and how much he wanted to know everything about his mentor, including what turned him on.

 _Stop._

But the ache in his groin wouldn't stop. How could it when his mind kept reliving the memory of Ryousuke inside him, enveloping him within his arms, and showering him with kisses like a deluge of rain? He turned over again. He closed his eyes and tried to think. Whenever Ryousuke touched him, it felt incredible, like a spark igniting a flame, a flame that he didn't know could be ignited within him by anyone, much less a _man._

 _But it's Ryousuke. If Ryousuke was the same, but a girl, would I still feel this way? Stupid. That makes no sense. He's still different from me. But he's a man. Which means...he'd like what I like?_

Takumi's eyes shot open with the realization. Ryousuke was a man. He was a man. As a man, Takumi knew what he liked. Of course, Ryousuke had naturally expanded Takumi's limited knowledge of what he liked quite a bit, but there were certainly things Takumi was sure should apply to _all_ men. His eyes traveled lower on Ryousuke's body again, and he could feel his heartbeat a little faster.

 _Should I? All guys like that, right? But...can I really do something like that? If I do that..._

Though his brain kept lodging protests, Takumi's body was ignoring them. He gently lowered the bed sheets, closing his eyes. Tentatively, he put his hand on Ryousuke's thigh, still covered by the silken yukata, and slowly moved his hand until he could feel the bone of his hip. He bent his fingers and slowly pulled the silk fabric aside to reveal the skin of Ryousuke's thigh. Warm. Smooth. Still.

Takumi shifted down in the bed and planted a kiss on Ryousuke's thigh, opening his eyes and looking back toward Ryousuke's sleeping face. His heart was in his throat, and his blood was rushing nether-ward.

 _I...want to._

Takumi felt apprehensive. Should he really do this when Ryousuke was sleeping? Or maybe that was for the best after all; Ryousuke couldn't tell him to stop if he was sleeping. But then, the thought that this was somehow a more intimate line he would have to cross kept recurring.

For some reason, putting his mouth on Ryousuke's body, _there,_ seemed like some kind of final nail in the coffin of his now ambiguous ideas of his own sexuality, even more so than having Ryousuke do it to him, or even taking it on his knees and from the back. Why was that? Takumi didn't really know. One would think he'd be sure by now that he was definitely a "switch hitter"; a guy who was totally straight wouldn't enjoy having sex with another guy. But his _mouth..._ the same mouth he kissed him with?

 _I kissed him after he did, though...and I still wanted to kiss him._

Was it some kind of weird mental image of subservience? They were both in bed. It wasn't like Ryousuke was standing with Takumi on his knees in front of him forcing him to do it; in fact, it had been _Ryousuke_ on his knees in front of _him_ the week before _._ But that night had been so full of firsts, so that particular image failed to resonate in Takumi's mind until just this moment. Was he really thinking too much? Ryousuke certainly didn't seem to have a problem doing it, and Takumi certainly didn't have a problem receiving it. At all.

However, he mentally decided that using his mouth _was_ more intimate, and Takumi didn't really know what to expect. Well, he _knew,_ but he didn't know how he would react to things himself. If he put another man's penis in his mouth, what did that say about him anyway? No, it wasn't about putting just "another" man's thing in his mouth, it was about putting his mouth on _Ryousuke._ If he did that, would Ryousuke look at him differently? Would he approve?

 _Would he still love me if I did that?_

Takumi had unconsciously been staring at the undone tie of Ryousuke's yukata.

 _If I can't, I can't. If I can, I will._

Takumi felt his face aflame as he finally allowed himself to look at Ryousuke's manhood. He swallowed once and looked away.

 _I...can't..._

His brain was screaming all the insecurities he'd tried to leave behind overnight, but his body decided to have a reaction of its own, and his body was winning the battle. He turned his head again and forced his eyes to look at the most intimate part of Ryousuke's same-but-different body.

Before his brain could lodge another protest, he put his hand lightly on Ryousuke, glancing upward toward his face. Ryousuke still looked peaceful, and he was still asleep.

 _I'm doing it._

He leaned over Ryousuke's lower body, and hesitantly lifted Ryousuke's soft member with his hand and brought his lips toward it.

 _Do what I like. I guess..._

Tentatively, Takumi placed his mouth on Ryousuke's skin. He could feel his heart pounding into his ears, the warning bells of the brain pealing maniacally in a repeated refrain.

 _What are you doing what are you doing what are you DOING?!_

Takumi usually could ignore thinking whenever he wanted, and, a lot of times it happened without even trying anyway. Why was it so difficult this time to tell the voice in his brain to shut the hell up? As he gingerly swirled his tongue around the so-far unresponsive appendage in his mouth, Takumi closed his eyes and tried to vacate his thoughts.

 _Just do it. It's only skin. His skin. Ryousuke's skin. Ryousuke's...taste?_

He hesitantly drew more of Ryousuke's length into his mouth, squeezing the base of it lightly with his fingers, and exploring the unique taste of skin that had to be Ryousuke's own.

 _When he did it, it felt so good. I want to do that for him...just do what he did..._

Takumi recalled the sensations he felt when Ryousuke had taken him in his mouth, and he tried to replicate it the best he could. He began to gently lick and suck the way Ryousuke did to him, slowly rolling his tongue and pulling with his lips.

 _"For the person who gives, it's about honoring that trust, and the desire to please the person who has granted it." That's what he told me. I want to give to him too. I trust him, maybe he can trust me. And I want to please him. I want..._

Takumi suddenly felt Ryousuke react with a pulsing throb. Startled, he released his lips and looked toward Ryousuke's face, thinking for sure he had awakened. He hadn't, but he had moved his right arm so that the back of his hand was on his forehead, and his brow was tightly knit.

 _Should I stop? No. That's what I wanted to happen anyway, wasn't it?_

Takumi lowered his mouth to Ryousuke's body again, languidly passing his tongue over Ryousuke's member, memorizing the unique shape of Ryousuke's same-but-different body. He closed his lips around the older man again, wanting to surround his lover with warmth, to give to Ryousuke the same incredible sensations that Takumi had felt himself.

 _I don't really know what I'm doing here...will it feel good if I use my hand too? It felt good to me when he did that._

Takumi squeezed and tugged lightly with his hand, and the length inside his mouth pulsed again. Again Takumi was startled, but this time, it was because he felt a jolt of arousal in his own body.

 _Why am I getting turned on by this? Is it because I want to please him so badly? Is it because I want him to feel good? Did doing it to me get him excited too? I don't get it...I shouldn't be getting turned on by sucking his..._

Takumi's thoughts were interrupted by a low groan emanating from Ryousuke, and the man shifted again in a sleep now fitful. He opened his legs a little, and Takumi moved, keeping his mouth on Ryousuke's body, and settling himself between Ryousuke's thighs. Takumi opened his eyes and looked toward his partner's face once more. His mouth was open and his eyes were fluttering, and Takumi could feel his lover's member growing with every passing moment, with every passing caress of lips. Hearing Ryousuke groan in his sleep sent another surge of excitement to Takumi's own groin.

Finally, the voice in his brain stopped screaming.

Takumi didn't know what it was exactly. Was it the fact that Ryousuke's reactions were unconscious, uncontrolled, and unguarded? Was it the way he looked with his hand at his forehead, his chest beginning to rise and fall in a more marked way as his sleeping breaths became more ragged? Or maybe it was the fact that the dark fabric of the yukata contrasted so sharply with the clean unmarred skin that made him look so sexy?

He _was_ sexy, Takumi decided, and he didn't have a real reason to think so, and he didn't care. Encouraged by Ryousuke's unconscious acceptance of what he was doing, Takumi allowed himself to enjoy the giving, to feel with his mouth a Ryousuke who could do nothing but receive.

Takumi closed his eyes again.

 _Concentrate._

Once he did that, he let go of the inhibitions and focused on the gift he desperately wanted Ryousuke to receive. Every centimeter of flesh, every intake of breath carrying that scent of spiced soap and of Ryousuke's body was now a sensation heightened by the self-deprivation of sight. Much like Ryousuke's advice to him not to look in the back mirror, or like when he turned off his headlights and raced the togue in the dark, Takumi found that his concentration increased exponentially. There was no time to think now, especially since his groin was tightening with every exploration of the now half-hard flesh in his mouth.

He heard Ryousuke groan again, and the sound of his deep, throaty voice sent a shiver down the length of Takumi's spine. The ill-fitting yukata had slipped off his shoulder, but Takumi was not going to stop to fix it. Instead, he let it fall, the increasing heat of his own skin enough to replace the little warmth the sleeping garment provided. He thought he could feel heat coming from Ryousuke's body as well, and he knew he felt a shudder in his leg. His tongue found its own way to the underside of Ryousuke's member, and Takumi held it there in fascination of the irregular pulsing of it. When he pressed his lips closed, his tongue felt another pulse, and Takumi found himself responding by sucking the whole of Ryousuke a little more firmly into his mouth.

 _I can do this. I can. God, I want him to feel good. I want him to be free._

Ryousuke opened his eyes, waking from a dream that had turned suddenly erotic. Slightly disoriented, he grasped at consciousness, registering the quiet bedroom of his campus apartment. He felt warm all over and then...

'My God.'

Takumi heard the gasp of his lover as he woke; he released Ryousuke's body from his mouth to look at him. Ryousuke sat bolt upright, a piercing look in his deep eyes. "Takumi," he rasped in a strained voice, "what...are you doing?"

"What I want," Takumi replied, shocking himself with his boldness. He closed his eyes and took Ryousuke gently into his mouth again.

"Takumi..." Ryousuke breathed, trying to will his body to stop responding. 'He shouldn't be ready for this. He shouldn't be wanting _this_. I can't let him when he's still unsure of himself,' he thought wildly. But it felt so damn good to have Takumi's hot and wet mouth on him, so much better than a dream, and worlds better than the fantasies which he occasionally used to help him jerk off in the shower. It was so undeniably _real_ , so undeniably _perfect..._

Takumi could hear his lover trying to breathe normally, and he had a feeling the man was trying to hold back. Why did Ryousuke want to refuse to take pleasure for himself when he gave it so freely to him, that Takumi had been spent beyond belief with it? All Takumi knew was that he suddenly, desperately, wanted Ryousuke to let go, to lose his control with him and with him alone.

There was a rustling of silk as Ryousuke reached down and put his hand to the side of Takumi's face, trying to lift his head. "Takumi," he eked out through grit teeth, "you don't...have to do this..."

 _Yes. I do. If I want you to love me, if I think that I love you, then this is what I have to do. And you have to let me!_

Ryousuke squeezed his eyes closed. Takumi only responded by licking him slowly and sensually, so moist and soft was his tongue that Ryousuke thought he could lose it at any second. Could Takumi have done this before? No, he didn't think so, but it certainly felt that way. How could he have internalized something like that just from having experienced Ryousuke doing it to him so few times? It was incredible. But, Ryousuke couldn't shake the feeling of mounting guilt and selfishness that came with the knowledge of just _who_ was currently between his legs, sucking him off and driving him absolutely mad with want.

Then, the words of his brother shot through his mind: _"I wasn't aware that in order to be on D you had to suck Takahashi Ryousuke's dick!"_

"Takumi...stop...," he whispered, not able to bear the thought that Takumi might be doing this to seek some kind of approval, or to offer some kind of compensation for his inclusion in D. It wasn't a logical thought, but his brain wasn't functioning logically at all with all the attention of his senses focused on his aching erection.

 _No! I'm not stopping now! Why don't you want this? But...maybe it's bad? I don't know what I'm doing after all! Maybe he's not liking it...SHIT._

Takumi released Ryousuke from his mouth but not his hand. He could feel his cheeks heating. "You don't...like this?" he whispered more to the now scattered bed linens than to Ryousuke himself.

He felt the tender fingers slip through his hair. "God, Takumi, of course that's not it-"

"Then _let_ me..." Takumi interrupted breathlessly.

"It's not necessary. You don't need to feel you have to do this for me," Ryousuke whispered, gently caressing Takumi's flushed cheek. "I don't want you to feel pressured..."

"If you're going to talk," Takumi interrupted again, raising his gaze to look Ryousuke square in the eyes, "then tell me...how you like it, because I don't know..."

The look of intensity was there, the look that told Ryousuke that Takumi was not about to run away. This was so beyond unexpected, that Ryousuke couldn't help but to feel out of control, teetering upon some kind of cusp between logic and desire. God, he wanted to have that mouth on him, but he couldn't help the nagging thought that Takumi might perform this incredibly intimate act out of some sense of indebtedness. If he stopped it now, he could calm down and approach it rationally. If he allowed it to continue, all control would be lost in a matter of moments.

"Takumi..."

Takumi scowled at him a little before lowering his mouth on Ryousuke's needful body in a single languid motion before he released him again. It was agony to Ryousuke, and his mind was losing the fight against a want so powerful, a connection with his young lover he desired so completely. "If you don't show me, I won't know what you like," Takumi whispered, his breath hot on skin so maddeningly over-sensitized. "You told me I should trust you. Why don't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you," Ryousuke said as soothingly as he could, running his fingers again through Takumi's soft, bed-head hair and pulling the yukata over himself with his other hand, and then putting his hand on Takumi's, trying to lift it from his body. "But, this is not something you need to do..."

His voice trailed off as he looked into the eyes of his lover, eyes that were watering at the edges. He saw Takumi clench his teeth. "I know that," he said flatly. The two held each other's gazes for a few agonizing seconds. Takumi was so beautiful; his face was serious, and his yukata had slipped to reveal his shoulder and chest, the skin pinkish in the muted morning sunlight coming in from the shaded window. Ryousuke wanted to take everything Takumi was willing to give, and yet, he thought this was a line that, once crossed, might end up being too much for Takumi to handle.

Or maybe, it wouldn't be.

Ryousuke could only watch as Takumi suddenly, wordlessly, pushed the yukata aside again and put his full length inside his mouth in a gentle caress. "Oh, God, Takumi..." Ryousuke said with a sigh. There was no way he could fight it anymore. He could feel the heat come to his cheeks as Takumi continued to pleasure him. He'd had oral pleasure before, but it had never been like this. It had always been perfunctory, a means to relief. Either that, or it was a way to get hard quickly so he could squeeze sex into the very narrow allowance of time he gave it. Never had he had someone make love to him with his mouth before, and that was precisely why it felt so much more powerful and exciting. He closed his eyes and gave in.

Takumi sensed that Ryousuke was finally letting him do what he wanted, and that he was starting to allow himself to let go. He released him again, hearing a strained exhalation emanate from him. He looked up and saw that Ryousuke's eyes were squeezed shut, and his jaw was set, and, amazingly, the normally fair, paper-clean skin of his face had a dusting of pink across it. The sight of that was something for which Takumi was not exactly prepared. It was startling for him to see that unexpected hue, the one normally associated with his own face. Was this more intimate, in some way, for Ryousuke too? He didn't know the answer to that, but seeing that he was unable to control his expression sent a surge of desire through Takumi. This had to be part of the real Ryousuke, the one Takumi wanted to keep for himself for however long he could keep him.

He lowered his mouth again, training his eyes on the face of his lover, a face normally placid and nearly expressionless in the presence of others, the face which was now as readable as a highway sign; the face that said Ryousuke would let him do what he wanted to do, because the older man _needed_ him to do it.

 _The way you look right now...is this how I look to you? Is that why you want to do things like this? To see that expression? To be the reason for it? If that's true, then I want you to tell me how I should do this, how I should give you what you want..._

"Ryousuke," Takumi whispered between gentle tugs of Ryousuke's length with his lips, "I don't know what to do..."

"Takumi...," Ryousuke breathed, and it almost sounded like he was trying to form another protest.

"No. Tell me how," he paused to take another suckling of Ryousuke's now full arousal, "...tell me how...you like it..."

Ryousuke couldn't get his brain to kick in at all. The torturous pleasure of Takumi's mouth was almost unbearable, the realization of the fantasy, the fruition of absolute intimacy with another person, this person who had intrigued him for so long. Unable to control the warmth flooding his cheeks, the blood rushing to his lower body, Ryousuke had no other choice but to give himself over completely. Once he did, he knew he wouldn't be able to hold back. It was terrifying and wonderful, the dichotomous feelings now a constant association with every physical touch between his gorgeous younger driver and himself. He took a deep breath as Takumi continued to lave his body with that soft tongue, his equally soft and wet mouth, and the steady if not firm pressure of his hand. He _knew_ he wanted the fantasy of Takumi sucking him to completion to become fully realized, and Takumi wasn't running away despite Ryousuke's protests and reassurances that this wasn't something he needed to do. 'Should I let go? Should I tell him what I really want?'

The mental question remained unanswered briefly as Takumi found an incredibly sensitive spot with his tongue, one that Ryousuke had no idea he himself possessed. 'So...amazing...;' the thought was barely formulated in his brain and a moan of pleasure left his throat.

He threaded his fingers through Takumi's hair once again, but he didn't try to pull him off his body this time. The sight before him was something out of his most reckless of thoughts, thoughts that had been pushed aside for months until the week before. But, he was a man after all, a man with limits. Having Takumi settled between his legs as Ryousuke was practically sitting up in bed, the young man pleasuring him like this; the limit, the line between passionate desire and guarded restraint was about to be crossed in the most ultimate fashion imaginable.

Ryousuke's body wanted it; one of his slender legs was already slightly trembling, his toes curled under. He was barely able to keep himself in a near-sit with the support of one arm, and the hand of his other arm refused to give up contact with Takumi's hair. He wanted it. Needed it. _Craved_ it.

"Takumi," Ryousuke whispered, the feeling of being absolutely exposed overwhelming him, "...I like it...a little...harder..."

 _Harder?_

Takumi felt his cheeks heat; Ryousuke was finally telling him what he wanted, what would please him, and it made his own body lurch with arousal at the sound of the words. There was no time to think about doubts, there was only Takumi's need to satisfy his mentor's desire. He tightened his grip on Ryousuke's erection and pumped a little more roughly as he continued to suck the firm flesh into his mouth.

 _I'll show you, I'll give you everything I have!_

The words barely escaped him when the shock of Takumi's response sent electricity throughout Ryousuke's whole body. He felt a shiver, but it wasn't a chill. His yukata slipped from his shoulders and pooled around his waist as he felt Takumi sucking him with a force unimaginable, and an intensity Ryousuke's body and mind had never experienced before with any former partner. He couldn't help but to pull on Takumi's hair, and the action seemed to encourage him to continue the more forceful attention to his throbbing member.

"Oh...God...," he heard himself gasp as he involuntarily clutched Takumi's hair in a tightly held fist. Ryousuke felt his eyes roll back in wanton bliss as he closed them, his senses focused only on the wet warmth in his groin. He was panting uncontrollably now, and he just didn't care. 'He's so...'

Sexy. Hot. Incredible. Dangerous. Beautiful. Truthfully, words failed Ryousuke even in thought.

Takumi couldn't help but to feel the excitement of his hair being pulled, and the sound of Ryousuke's low, sexy voice in pleasure was incredible. It wasn't loud by any means, but Takumi could hear the erotic edge to it; it was strained and gritty and wonderful. He kept a steady pressure on Ryousuke's hard length with his hand and lips, responding as feverishly as he could with every one of Ryousuke's impassioned vocalizations.

 _He's really hard... Okay...wait...Oh, God, I can...taste him..._

Ryousuke knew he was close. He was sitting braced with one arm, the hand of his other arm in a death grip on Takumi's hair as his beautiful lover danced his tongue and lips over the head of his erection. He couldn't help a slight push into the tight vice of lips and tongue and hand; God, he wanted to thrust his whole length inside that wet cavern, to feel the back of his lover's throat. He barely restrained himself from doing it, but the way Takumi was sucking on him was making it difficult to stop the involuntary motions of his hips and groin. "...feels...so good, Takumi...," Ryousuke gasped, barely able to form the words between the surges of passion and, frankly, lust, that were building in every inch of his aching length.

 _He said...it's good. This is how he likes it. A little rough...I guess. That's a little...surprising? Is it? I don't know! Remember it. Remember everything!_

Takumi opened his eyes and looked up at Ryousuke again.

 _Oh my God._

Ryousuke's yukata had slipped from his shoulders and his skin was practically glowing in the filtered sunlight of the room. The lines of his subtly defined muscles made elegant contours to that physique that was so different from Takumi's own. His head was thrown back, the dark hair falling slightly away, the violet strands catching the light. His mouth was open as he breathed in short rasps, on the verge of what Takumi hoped was the edge of his release.

The sight pushed all thought aside for Takumi, and the familiar sensation of acting on instinct overtook him.

 _How can I make it better?! Should I do...this?_

Takumi took as much of Ryousuke's length into his mouth as he could and he heard another quiet moan of pleasure from his lover and the grip on his hair was now bordering on pain, but it surprisingly felt amazing.

 _Or maybe...this..._

That was it. Ryousuke didn't know what Takumi was exactly doing to him, but, whatever it was, it was pushing him over the edge. He had to stop him, even though he wanted nothing more than to come inside that soft, wet heat. There was no way he could allow himself to do _that._ No. Not this time. It would be too much for his younger and less experienced lover.

"T-takumi...," he began, trying to lift Takumi's head again. "You...have to stop..."

He was answered by an even more intense pull on his arousal with Takumi's hand.

"Takumi, please," he tried to assert more strongly, "if you don't, oh God, I'm..."

 _I'm not stopping! I don't give a damn what happens! So shut the hell up and come already!_

Takumi didn't stop. He couldn't turn back now. The rush he felt was similar to the feeling he got when he raced a tough opponent on the street; if he let up on the accelerator, he could be released from the fear and pressure of the unknown, but Takumi could never take his foot of the pedal, and, usually, actually, he'd press harder because there was one person waiting for him at the summit, waiting to see what Takumi would show him.

Harder. Faster. Better. _More._

Ryousuke could feel the twisting pressure of orgasm boiling up within him with every incredible sensation of touch and suction; it was almost beyond the point of no return. If Takumi didn't leave his body _right now..._

"God-damn it, Takumi! If you...I'm...Oh, God...I can't..." Ryousuke gasped as he tried to pull Takumi up by his hair with a firmly forceful tug, but his lover refused to comply. "I'm...I can't...stop...!"

Ryousuke's eyes shot open but all he could see was a shroud of pleasure, his hips bucked of their own accord and he felt himself release into Takumi's mouth; so hot, so wet so...his skin was prickling with sensation, his hand relinquished its hold on Takumi's hair. He let his body fall back into the pillows as he gasped with lungs seemingly devoid of air. He couldn't register anything but the sound of his own breathing and of his rapid heartbeat clamoring in his ears, and he swiped a hand over a brow beaded with sweat. His cheeks were hot, his whole body felt afire, shaking with a relief so profound that no mere thought could do it justice.

 _He came...now what the hell am I supposed to do?! Oh God, it's...IDIOT! You knew this was going to happen! Shit-shit-shit-shit-shit! Do I...spit it out? But...he didn't...shit!_

Takumi shot a quick glance to Ryousuke. He was out of it. Before he could think, he bolted to the bathroom and spat in the sink, coughing a little, and trying to recover the breath he had been holding. Without thinking, he brushed his teeth quickly. He'd swallowed some, he knew. It wasn't terrible, but it was a shock, no matter how much he knew that it would happen.

 _He warned me. I didn't listen...and then, Oh God, I ran away! I ran in here to spit and brush my teeth?! Idiot! What will he think of me? Will he hate me for doing that?_

Takumi's brain went on overload. He was embarrassed, mortified, terrified of how Ryousuke might react to his retreat into the bathroom. Unthinking, he slammed the door and sank to the floor with his back against it, still catching his breath, and, to his utter astonishment, he was still achingly hard.

Ryousuke had vaguely heard Takumi cough a little, but it didn't register in his mind and his body refused to move. However, when he heard the door to the bathroom door slam shut, the sound snapped him out of his daze.

'Shit.'

Takumi had bolted.

' _Shit!_ '

Ryousuke had to put his trust in legs that weren't yet fully steady; he strode over to the doorway, pulling his yukata back on as he went. Regulating his breathing using nothing more than sheer will, he knocked quietly on the door. "Takumi..."

"I-I'm sorry! I...I..." came Takumi's anxious voice from behind the door. Then he was silent.

 _I offended him. He won't want to see me again. You should have just swallowed it! But I...couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it!_

"Takumi," Ryousuke said again, "please come out."

Nothing.

Ryousuke raked a hand through his hair. What the hell had he done? There was no way he should have done that. He _knew_ that it would be too much. 'And you fucking did it anyway,' he thought ruefully to himself. "Takumi," he tried a third time. "please talk to me."

This was one of those many times when Ryousuke wished he could know exactly what was on the mind of his downhiller. Was he grossed out? Did he finally realize that this was definitely not up his alley? What? What?!

Or, unbelievably, could he possibly think he did something wrong?

Ryousuke took the chance. "Takumi, if you're in there because you think you did something wrong, or that I might be...offended in some way, you're wrong. Do you hear me?"

Nothing. Ryousuke decided that Takumi thought he did something wrong after all. Something that would fail to earn Ryousuke's approval. 'Damn it, Takahashi. Fix it. Now.'

"Takumi...honestly, that was the best I've ever had," Ryousuke declared before he even realized the words escaped his throat. The warmth had yet to leave his face, and saying truths like that seemed to ensure that it would not for a while. "It felt incredible. So come out of there, or let me in, will you?"

 _What?! The best?! How, when I had no idea what the hell I was doing?_

"You don't have to say things like that," Takumi replied so softly that Ryousuke had barely heard him. But, he heard him.

"Open the door and look at me, and I'll say it again," Ryousuke returned just as quietly. "Then you can decide for yourself if I'm telling you the truth."

The moment of silence which passed between them may as well have been an hour. Finally, to Ryousuke's relief, he heard some rustling and Takumi opened the door. "Ryousuke, I-"

Before he could stammer out another word, Ryousuke captured his lips in a deep kiss. When he pulled back, he whispered, "Do I have your attention?"

Takumi's averted his eyes. "Yes."

"Look at me."

Takumi looked.

"Good. I'll say it once more. You were incredible, and it was the best I've ever had."

 _He's...serious._

Ryousuke saw Takumi's eyes widen with surprise, but it seemed as though Takumi believed him. He exhaled. "I'm not really good at admitting things like that."

"Ryousuke...I couldn't, uh...you know...well..."

"Shh," Ryousuke soothed, placing his index finger on Takumi's lips. The taste of toothpaste when they kissed told him exactly why Takumi felt he had done something wrong. "Don't worry about unnecessary things, Takumi," he said tenderly, pulling his lover close. When he did, Takumi retreated somewhat, but not before Ryousuke had felt it. He was hard. This was a surprise, a beautiful one.

"Don't pull away from me," Ryousuke softly directed.

"But-"

"And don't argue with me."

Takumi nodded and allowed himself to be pulled into the comforting embrace.

 _He always makes me feel like less of an idiot. I guess he's not upset. As soon as he kissed me, I wanted him all over again too..._

"Now," Ryousuke whispered as he kissed that delicious spot behind Takumi's ear, "let me take care of you properly, ne?" He slipped his hand inside Takumi's loosely tied yukata and caressed his length lightly.

Takumi drew in a sharp breath at the ghosting touch. "Ryousuke..."

"Come back to bed."

"Are you sure you don't have somewhere to be?" Takumi asked as he allowed himself to be led to the bed with chaste kisses on his lips.

"I do, actually."

Takumi froze for a second. "Then, maybe, we should stop..."

Ryousuke sighed and sat down on the bed. Seeing the look of insecurity cross that beautiful face was not something he wanted to see in this moment. Impulsively, he positioned his knees between Takumi's legs and pulled the younger man swiftly down into his lap.

"Ryousuke!" Takumi breathed with surprise, the rosy blush immediately settling across the bridge of his nose and his cheeks. The elder responded only with a little smirk and he hooked a hand around Takumi's neck to pull him forward so their mouths could meet in another sensual kiss.

"I've got only one place I need to be right now, and I'm already there."

Not waiting for any more protests, Ryousuke settled Takumi back into bed. Who cared if it was morning, and not what would be considered a "polite" time for lovemaking? Takumi didn't seem to, and he himself certainly hadn't when Takumi had given him such ultimate pleasure. Time with Takumi as a lover was precious, and short.

Over and over again, restraint suffered and failed him, and Ryousuke didn't even care.

It was suffering and failing beautifully after all.


	33. Chapter 33

Ryousuke's Campus Apt. 9:25 AM Saturday.

Takumi toweled himself dry and slipped on his clothes from the day before. He ran his fingers through his hair and went out into the main room where he could hear Ryousuke fiddling around in the kitchen.

"Hey," Takumi offered as a greeting as he stepped into the small sliver of space that made up the kitchen of the apartment.

Ryousuke, now dressed casually in a polo and khakis, looked up from cutting a melon with a smile. "You made coffee."

Takumi looked at his feet. "Yeah. I hope you don't mind, but I got up first and I didn't know what to do."

"Of course I don't mind," Ryousuke replied gently. "I'm thrilled that you felt comfortable enough to do that."

"Well, it was kind of rude to go looking around though..."

"Nonsense," Ryousuke affirmed quietly. "As a matter of fact, I was thinking that I might see about getting a second parking space for the structure here. What do you think?"

Takumi looked up suddenly. He tried to read Ryousuke's expression, but there was nothing to see. "What for?" he whispered.

"Oh I don't know," Ryousuke continued, nonplussed.

Takumi watched as he resumed cutting the melon into perfectly uniform slices. He found himself staring at Ryousuke's hand as the man held the knife. It was slow, steady, exacting.

 _Like a surgeon._

It was definitely more like a surgeon than someone who worked with food. He'd watched his Dad prep food his whole life, and Takumi had plenty of experience feeding himself and the shitty old man over the years. He'd never seen anyone hold a kitchen knife the way Ryousuke did. It was actually kind of funny, and he found himself stifling a chuckle by clearing his throat. The hand stopped moving and he lifted his gaze to Ryousuke's face which had a quizzical look on it.

"What's so funny?"

 _Uh-oh._

"Uh...it's nothing, really. Don't worry about it," Takumi hurriedly replied, waving his hand in front of him.

Ryousuke frowned a little, but Takumi could see a smile in those dark eyes of his. "Now I _know_ there's something funny. Haven't you ever seen someone slice a melon before?" he added playfully.

"Yeah."

 _But not like THAT. Heh._

"Well?" Ryousuke prodded.

"It's just..."

"What?"

"It's only a fruit. Why do you have to be so careful with it?" Takumi blurted out, unable to stifle his laughter completely.

 _Idiot! It's his house! He bought the food! Why do you feel like you can say stupid things around him?! This is Ryousuke you're poking fun at!_

The elder looked at his hand. "Ah. I see. So, you think you can do better, then?"

"Uh, no! T-that's not w-what I meant at all!" Takumi stammered. "I'm just saying-"

"Very well," Ryousuke interrupted casually, setting the offending kitchen implement down on the cutting board. "I'll drink your delicious coffee, and _you_ can make our breakfast," he declared with a smirk.

 _I deserve that. Now, it's official. I. Am. The. Girl. Oh well. I'm not making you a bentou, so don't get any funny ideas, Ryousuke!_

With a sigh of resignation, Takumi took up the knife. "I didn't mean it that way," he said sulkily.

"I know," Ryousuke affirmed with a gentle squeeze on Takumi's shoulder as he poured himself a warm-up of coffee into his mug and blew on it a little when he raised it to his lips. "But now, you see, I'm curious. So, have at it. Pretend I'm not here."

 _Yeah right._

"Whatever," Takumi mumbled, rolling his eyes a little. Before Ryousuke could even enjoy how cute he was, he was taken aback by how deftly the younger man sliced through the fruit. It was like looking at a chef in action, the knife going tap-tap-tap on the board with remarkable speed and precision. Ryousuke felt his jaw drop a little as Takumi made quick work of the various fruit Ryousuke had picked up the night before; he sliced off the rinds with one fluid knife-stroke and cut the pieces with such practiced hands.

Once he was finished, Takumi looked over at Ryousuke. He saw the surprised expression on the man's face and scowled a little. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he grumbled.

"I," Ryousuke began, "am...astonished."

The younger rolled his eyes. "You don't have to play around."

"I'm not," Ryousuke replied softly.

Takumi looked at him again; he looked...sincere?

 _Crap. What the hell is up with him?_

"Ryousuke?"

The elder cleared his throat a little. "Your knife skills look like those of a seasoned chef, Takumi. I'm impressed."

"Oh please," Takumi groaned, "I _do_ live in a Tofu shop you know. I've been around crappy food my whole life. It would be stupid if I didn't know how to do this much, wouldn't it?"

"I suppose. But still, Takumi, maybe you've found yet another calling," Ryousuke remarked playfully as his lover unwrapped the store-bought onigiri.

"No thanks. I've done enough cooking for myself and the shitty old man to last a lifetime. There's no way I'd do it for a living."

Ryousuke reached into a cupboard for two dishes and watched as his lover plated the simple meal. "You know, I can barely cook rice. I suck at cooking."

Takumi looked over at Ryousuke again as he rinsed the blade of the knife in the sink. He couldn't hide his disbelief. "Uh, it's not exactly that hard to do."

"It's the truth," Ryousuke admitted. "I almost burned down the kitchen of my Father's house once when I was about ten. Our housekeeper had a fit at the mess I made too."

"You did?" Takumi asked, astonished.

 _Ryousuke? Messed something up? Something as easy as cooking?! I don't believe it._

"Yeah," the elder answered with a wry chuckle. "I decided to try my hand at tempura, and managed to start a lovely grease fire in the kitchen. Luckily, my parents weren't home at the time and the housekeeper threw some flour on it pretty quickly."

"What did your Dad do when he found out?"

"Hmmm..."

Takumi could tell that Ryousuke was only pretending to be searching for the memory. There was a glint in his eyes that Takumi was starting to understand. It meant that Ryousuke was in a good mood, a relaxed mood. He was thrilled to be seeing it enough to recognize it when it was there.

"Did he clock you on the head or something? That's what my old man would do if I ever did that."

"No. Because he never found out," Ryousuke said with a little smirk.

"Lucky bastard," Takumi mumbled.

 _Shit. Did I just call Ryousuke a bastard? Shut UP!_

"Damn right," came the reply with a light laugh.

 _Okay. Cool._

Ryousuke was delighted. What a wonderful morning this was turning out to be. Never before had he ever enjoyed being called a bastard as he did in this moment. "Yeah, I was pretty lucky. Father was out of town, and Mother went with him that time. And, our housekeeper back then was more like a kind Aunt than an employee, so she managed to have everything repaired before they returned, and neither of them seemed to either notice nor care that the kitchen had a fresh coat of paint."

"That's crazy!" Takumi gasped. "How could they not notice that?! My Old Man notices if I so much as blink at the wrong time," he grumbled.

Ryousuke shrugged and took another deep sip of coffee. "She was a nice old lady. Good to both of us. Though, Keisuke was always her favorite," he added with a slight laugh. He picked up the plates, exited the kitchen, and set them on the small table. Takumi brought their coffee and they both sat.

"Keisuke-san was her favorite?" Takumi asked incredulously.

"Sure was," Ryousuke replied, plucking a melon slice with a toothpick and eating it. "She was always telling me I was 'too big for my britches' and other such things older people love to say to obnoxious kids like I was. So, at the time, I was a little surprised that she didn't make me face the music for what I had done, though I was all too happy to take the lucky break. I certainly understand, now that I'm older, why she did it though."

Takumi furrowed his brow in confusion. "Why?"

Ryousuke put his coffee down and reclined a bit in his chair, a serious look on his face. "Because Keisuke would have gotten the blame for it, even if I confessed to it," he said quietly.

 _Holy shit._

"Really?" Takumi whispered.

Ryousuke nodded and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah. And he would have gotten the crap beaten out of him, just like always. She did it to protect Keisuke, not me."

Suddenly, Ryousuke pushed back his chair and walked purposefully toward the open door to the balcony. Takumi was stunned; he was momentarily unable to pry himself from the chair.

 _He blames himself? For that? Is that what it is? I don't know! What should I do? I don't know him at all do I? I want to know him. I...need to._

Takumi got up from his chair and picked up Ryousuke's coffee and his own. He walked slowly outside where the man was leaning over the railing of the balcony smoking. "Ryousuke?"

The addressed sighed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be burdening you with that kind of thing," he said evenly.

"It's okay."

"No, it really isn't," Ryousuke calmly replied. "It has nothing to do with you."

 _Why? What are we, then? Don't we feel the same? If something bothers you, shouldn't it have something to do with me? No. It doesn't have to. Friggin' girl. But, for some reason, I think it should have something to do with me anyway._

"Here," Takumi supplied, handing Ryousuke his coffee, resolving to try and get some answers to his mental questions a bit later. He was learning things, unpleasant things, but important ones. Takumi wanted to know as much as Ryousuke would tell him before they left the apartment and returned to the world where what they had shared together would have to be a carefully guarded secret. Daylight always brought this feeling to Takumi, the feeling that Ryousuke was far away. Why couldn't it be eternally nighttime?

"Thanks," Ryousuke said with a half smile. "It's delicious. Very strong."

"You like strong coffee."

"Yeah. I do."

"And, you love your brother."

"Yeah. And I pretty much failed him for most of his life."

Ryousuke looked at Takumi's beautiful face. There was concern in his hazel eyes, and Ryousuke chided himself for being the cause of it. But it was so damn easy to lose himself and trust Takumi with things not even said so explicitly to Fumihiro. Why, with this young man, was it so _easy_ to be himself? It was so easy that it was terrifying, and the feeling of being stripped emotionally bare washed over him anew, with all of its sensations of excitement and danger.

"It's not your fault, Ryousuke, what happened to Keisuke-san when you were kids."

He chuckled once and took a drag from his cigarette. "Well, maybe not directly, but, I take responsibility for it to an extent. If you had a younger sibling, you might understand that a little better."

 _Oh. That's what he meant then. I think I get it. He's right. I don't understand what it's like to have a kid brother. Or sister. Or cousin...anyone._

"Is that why you said it has nothing to do with me?" Takumi asked.

"Yes. I did what I could, but, as a kid, there's never much you can do. By the time I could probably do more, Keisuke had already gone off on his own. For several years, he hated me, basically removed himself from the family. I could understand it to a point, but, the things he started to do got pretty scary after a while."

"Like when he was in the gang?"

"Yeah. There were days when I had no idea where he was, and no way to look for him."

"You were worried."

Ryousuke laughed. "Well, to be perfectly honest, there were times when it pissed me off. By that time, Father and Mother had pretty much washed their hands of him anyway. So, I ended up being his de facto guardian, I suppose. He knows how to push my buttons better than anyone, and he did it constantly."

"Doesn't he still?" Takumi ventured to ask.

"That's his job," Ryousuke replied with a smirk. Then his face grew serious again. "But, the things he does now...it's nothing like how he used to be. He truly turned into someone else for a while, but that was because of some of the things he was doing to himself. I don't think I need to spell it out for you, do I?"

"No, I think I can guess."

Ryousuke nodded. "He still got beaten whenever he showed up at home, and, the scariest part of it was that it was as though he didn't even feel it anymore. It was like he was so immune to it, that the pain of getting his ribs cracked or a punch to the jaw didn't even register with him. He just took it, running his mouth the whole time, adding fuel to the fire. And he didn't even care; that's what used to scare me the most, because I honestly didn't know what he could be capable of if pressed hard enough."

"Keisuke-san _is_ really tough," Takumi observed, recalling instantly how the two idiots who had briefly been his and Keisuke's imposters were scared shitless of him just by Keisuke standing over them cracking his knuckles. If Fumihiro hadn't been there, Keisuke probably would have had a lot more fun with those two that night.

"Yeah. He is. Sometimes I wonder how I ever managed to get him back."

"But you're tough too, Ryousuke."

"No, Takumi, I'm really not. That's the truth of it. Never in my life has my Father laid a hand on me. Never," he repeated with disgust. He recovered himself a little. "But, Keisuke's going to be independent very soon, and I'm just glad he's found something that he can take pride in. Something that will make him unstoppable. He deserves everything he's about to get in this life. It's the least I can do to give that to him for being such a prick of a brother most of the time."

Takumi's eyes widened. "How can you say that about yourself, Ryousuke? Keisuke-san and I...if you hadn't helped us with everything, we wouldn't be anywhere near where we are now. You know it."

"That's how it's supposed to be for the two of you. Everything is as it should be, so don't worry about that. You both will be unstoppable. You both have what it takes to be so huge in this, and the two of you can barely see it for yourselves yet. That part always astonishes me, especially about you, Takumi. You still have only just begun to realize your own potential."

"No, I think I do realize it sometimes, but, there's always part of me that knows I've still got a lot to learn. I wonder if I'll ever truly feel ready for anything."

"You will feel it. Very soon, you won't be able to help but to feel it. If my understanding of the two of you is correct, neither one of you will let the other off the hook easily, will you?" Ryousuke said evenly.

 _He means when Keisuke-san and I compete against each other. So he does know that. Of course he does. Idiot._

"Yeah. So you know we'll probably always try to beat each other any time we're in the same race."

Ryousuke smirked. "I know my brother very well. And, I think I know a little more about who you are too."

"You always have."

"You and Keisuke are very similar, that's certainly what I've always believed. But I don't always know you the way I know him. I suppose being brothers does have a lot to do with that. Sometimes, though, I still feel that I'm very far away from you, Takumi. It would be nice if you wouldn't keep me at arm's length when we're anywhere but here."

 _What?! That's how I've always felt about you!_

"I-I don't do it intentionally..." Takumi faltered.

"But, you do it."

"It's just because when we're not here, you're you and I'm me."

 _Idiot. That probably makes no sense._

Ryousuke thought he understood; outside of the apartment, they could be termed friends at most. There would be no way that Ryousuke could admit that they were lovers to anyone beyond the people who already knew. That, and Takumi still had the crazy notion that he was somehow inferior. But, he was young; Ryousuke sometimes had a difficult time remembering that Takumi was still only nineteen. 'So young,' Ryousuke thought, 'Life is just beginning for you, Takumi. You certainly don't need the baggage of an involvement with me, even if that's what I selfishly want. I'll take it for as long as I can.'

At length, he turned and walked back inside. "Let's finish our breakfast, shall we?"

"Sure."

The pair resumed their breakfast, eating wordlessly for a few minutes.

"Ryousuke?"

"Hmm? What is it?"

"You do it too, you know."

Ryousuke set his cup down. "Do what?" he whispered.

"Keep people at 'arm's length'. You do it all the time. I've learned more about you in the last week than I have in the last year. So, I'm not the only one."

Ryousuke stared hard at his beautiful lover. He was right.

"But it has to be that way anyway," Takumi continued, "so why worry about it when we're around other people? I'm okay with that, I'm happy to be the same as we were...before. When we're out."

"Why should you be happy with that?" Ryousuke whispered. "I'm not."

 _What?!_

Takumi didn't know what to say. His heart was beating so fast, he thought it might burst. What was Ryousuke trying to say? Why was it like this? Just when Takumi had thought he was starting to understand the man, he said something that could be interpreted in too many ways to count.

 _I think you really will make my head explode one day._

"Ryousuke?" Takumi studied his mentor's expression. Gradually, he could see that the man was starting to relax again, and a wave of relief washed over him.

"Takumi, if there was a way to continue this...beyond the end of the year, I would. I just wanted to make sure you knew that before we have to go our separate ways."

 _Just ask. I have to know._

"What is this to you, then?" Takumi whispered.

Takumi felt his cheeks heating, and he looked down at his empty plate. The next sensation he felt was the soft warmth of Ryousuke's hand over his own.

"Look at me for a minute," Ryousuke gently commanded. When Takumi raised his eyes, Ryousuke took in the face of the person he knew would be the only one who he'd ever actually want to know the 'real' Ryousuke. "'This', to me, is the one thing I wish I didn't have to leave behind."

 _He means it. It's real. It is._

"When you come back, what will we be then?" Takumi dared to ask.

Ryousuke exhaled. "I hope that we'll still be close." God, he wanted to say something else, but, there was no way he could.

"Are we close now?"

"I'd like to think we're closer than we were."

Takumi seemed to absorb the statement. Ryousuke hoped that he would agree.

"Yeah," he said simply.

"Good." Ryousuke squeezed his hand and rose to clear the table. He put the plates into the sink and rinsed them before opening the dishwasher to put them inside. When he returned to the main room, Takumi hadn't moved. "What is it, Takumi? What are you thinking?"

The younger driver looked up. "Right now, what are we Ryousuke?"

Ryousuke felt a tightening in his chest. This was so new for Takumi, and, frankly, feelings like this were pretty new for him too. It was so unnerving and exciting and dangerous. He walked behind Takumi and draped his arms around his partner's shoulders. He leaned down and planted a kiss behind his ear. "Don't ask questions that you should already know the answer to," he whispered.

Takumi nodded in response.

"It's not easy for me to say the words," Ryousuke admitted softly.

"That's not what I meant," Takumi whispered. "I don't expect that. It's just...still hard for me, because I don't really know what I am anymore..."

Ryousuke took a deep breath; was there really a reason not to tell him? Of course. There were about a million of them. Once again, he had to force himself to remember that Takumi was only nineteen. He deserved a plain answer, even if it wasn't easy for Ryousuke to give it. However, Ryousuke couldn't bring himself to verbalize that he loved him. Once he admitted that aloud, it would be impossible for him to leave. But, what would be a suitable compromise?

"Takumi, I'd like to call us lovers for now, if it's all right with you."

 _He said it. Lovers. That's what we are. Okay. I don't expect him to tell me he loves me. I won't tell him either. If I do, I won't want to let him go. And I have to. I already know anyway. It's okay._

"It's okay with me," Takumi said at length. He turned in his chair and welcomed the kiss Ryousuke had moved to give to him.

'I don't deserve you at all, Takumi,' Ryousuke thought as he pulled the younger one up from his chair into an embrace. "Let's enjoy it while we can, okay?" he whispered.

"Yeah."

The moment was interrupted by the simultaneous ringing of both of their cell phones. "Guess we've been gone too long," Takumi remarked with a little smirk.

"I suppose," the elder affirmed with a little frown as he and Takumi both pulled the annoying devices out of their pockets. "Keisuke," he said, shaking the phone a little.

"Itsuki," Takumi responded, doing the same.

They took their calls, but they each made their respective exchanges brief, both saying they'd call back the interlopers later.

"I suppose we should go," Ryousuke said after Takumi closed the phone on a still screeching Itsuki. "Sounds like your friend is freaking out a little."

Takumi rolled his eyes. "He's always freaking out. But, at least this time he has a reason."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He tried to tell me about it before, but I was kinda out of it then."

"Oh?"

Takumi nodded. "Anyway, I'm probably going to be up on Akina tonight. There's supposedly a new team that thinks they'd like to make Akina their home turf. Iketani-senpai is freaking out because they've made their move and are now showing up every night for practice. They want me to help them scout the enemy tonight or something, but I don't think I'll be much help at all."

Ryousuke smirked. "That's very interesting. Keisuke just called to inform me of the very same situation."

 _No. Way._

"He's been bored lately because of our hiatus. But, I think the both of you will have plenty to think over before we head out weekend after next."

"We will? We have another trip after all? What for? I don't think I can use the Imp, I-"

Ryousuke gave Takumi a light kiss on the lips as he reached for his keys. "No inside info just because you're excellent in bed."

"Ryousuke!" Takumi breathed.

 _When he says stuff like that...I have no idea how to handle it. Excellent? Me? But I didn't know what the hell I was doing at all!_

"Stating a point of fact, Takumi. Don't forget your keys," he added, nodding to the table.

"Yeah," Takumi said with a scowl, grabbing his keys rather unceremoniously. Wasn't it he who said he didn't want Ryousuke to be the team leader when they were alone?

 _Dumbass. Why did I say something stupid like that? I really want to know!_

He could tell that Ryousuke wasn't going to budge on it, and he decided it was probably for the best anyway. No need for Keisuke to think he was getting "special treatment" or whatever.

 _It's fine. Here, we're "lovers". Out there, we're...shit. Who the hell cares anyway?_

"Do you know how to get back home from here?" Ryousuke asked when they reached the main lobby and Takumi's parking stub for the visitor lot was retrieved from the desk.

"I think so."

"Call if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay."

"Or, call if you want anything," Ryousuke added.

"Okay," Takumi replied, feeling the heat cross his cheeks. "I'll see you at our final team meeting, I guess?"

Ryousuke shrugged. "Definitely then, if not before."

"Eh?"

Ryousuke just smiled that annoying Mona Lisa smile and turned toward the elevator that serviced the parking structure. Before he turned away, Takumi saw that glint in his eyes he had been getting used to.

 _What are you up to? Because I think you're up to something._

"Talk to you later," he said over his shoulder, and with that, he was gone.

Takumi took a deep breath and looked up and down the still unfamiliar street out front. "Now, where the hell am I?" he asked himself with a frown.

 _Idiot. What kind of a driver are you anyway?_

* * *

Takahashi Residence 12:15 PM Saturday.

Keisuke was channel surfing, waiting for his brother to return home. The brief phone call told him that his brother still had his "guest" over, so Keisuke decided it was a good idea to keep it short. Once again, he was alone in the house, the parental units having left early in the morning to travel to Hokkaido for some charity auction bullshit. Keisuke had tried to sleep through his parents' preparations for their trip, but it had proved an impossible thing to do. Even from his bedroom, Father could be heard complaining incessantly about everything from the housekeeper sending the wrong "day suit" to the cleaners to the fact that Mother had apparently made the egregious mistake of making tea for their breakfast instead of coffee.

How their Mother put up with it, Keisuke failed to understand. This wasn't the olden days; surely their Mother could get a divorce. She had plenty of reasons after all; her husband was unfaithful, inattentive, and an all around asshole. Sure, he provided for them comfortably, but Keisuke thought that his Mother would be entitled to a nice chunk of Father's money in a divorce settlement after putting up with his b.s. for so long. Maybe she really had gone crazy, or, perhaps, Father made it clear that divorce was not an option. Maybe it wasn't an option for Mother either; Keisuke didn't really know. But, a divorce would make for unpleasant mentions in the paper, so probably that was the reason why they sucked it up and pretended to be who they weren't.

All he knew was that his family loved to put the "fun" in dysfunctional, and, soon, he'd be the one around to deal with the whole mess of it alone. He really needed some advice from Ryousuke on that matter because he had no idea how to relate to their Mother. The strange encounter shared with the woman the other night made things even more confusing.

As for his Father, well, he could go to hell in his own hand basket, and Keisuke would be very happy for it. The only relationship Keisuke decided he wanted from his Father came in the form of having a roof over his head, food in the fridge, and, for now, the money in his bank account. Keisuke didn't delude himself into thinking _that_ would continue once Ryousuke moved out permanently. He was quite sure his share would end up going to his brother once the Old Man could finally kick his ass out and cut him off for good, like the man had wanted to do for years. He remembered Ryousuke telling him once that it was probably because of his Mother that it hadn't happened already; at the time, Keisuke didn't believe it, but maybe there was some truth in it after all.

'I'm taking the big screen when I go, though, Old Man. Not that you'll notice.'

He was already calculating a plan to "let" Kenta help him move it out of the house when he heard the garage door open. Keisuke paused his pressing of the remote on a channel showing a baseball game. He didn't like baseball; it was boring and slow and tedious. The only appreciation Keisuke really had of that sport was the potential usefulness of a baseball bat in a sticky situation. Especially the aluminum ones. Those could be handy. Wooden ones weren't as reliable.

He heard the door to the house open, and he heard his brother remove his shoes and open the refrigerator. Seconds later, the elder appeared and he, surprisingly, helped himself to a seat on the large sectional next to him. He looked relaxed. Content. _Happy_. Was spending the night in bed with Fujiwara really that great? Keisuke inwardly shuddered at the thought. 'Stop thinking about _that!_ '

"Baseball?" Ryousuke asked softly.

"Yeah. There's nothing on. I thought when we got the dish we'd always have something cool to watch. But, it still sucks."

Ryousuke nodded, crossed his legs, and took a sip of water. "You could always watch some races. We've got several pro races taped."

"I've seen 'em all a million times."

"True. Well, soon, you'll be running in your own professional races. You'll see everything first hand for yourself."

Keisuke shrugged. "You know, Aniki, I want to be big. No, not big," Keisuke hurriedly corrected himself, "the _biggest_."

"You will be." For some reason, Keisuke wasn't asking about his activities from the night before. Ryousuke supposed his brother didn't really want to know too much. That was a relief.

Keisuke sat quietly for a few seconds, watching his brother as he drank water and half paid attention to the baseball game on TV. "I get the feeling I'll have that stupid Fujiwara on my ass my whole life, though. How will I be number one when he's around to take it from me?" he whispered.

Ryousuke studied his brother. So that's how he was going to get around to it. "You probably will have to deal with him throughout your career, Keisuke. You know well that he won't be left behind easily. He won't suddenly turn into a choke artist when he goes pro. But, don't you think he must feel the same way about you?"

Keisuke grumbled a less than polite word followed by an unenthusiastic "I guess."

"I think you know that's true," Ryousuke continued with a little smirk. "He sees you as a rival too, and, that rivalry has been incredible for both of you. You've both grown so fast; it's been astonishing for me to watch."

"It should be you and I and not me and him."

Ryousuke sighed. "Keisuke, we've been over this a thousand times since I decided to retire. There's nothing that can be done about it. I've got a different life to lead, plain and simple."

"Father's life."

"Yeah. It sucks, but that's the privilege of birth order," Ryousuke said wryly.

"And I still say you should tell the Old Man to fuck that shit!" Keisuke retorted hotly. "Sending you to the States, telling you what to do with the rest of your damn life. It's unfair, and yet, you just _do_ it. I really hate that, and you should too, Aniki!"

"Calm down, Keisuke," Ryousuke replied evenly. "I can't do that. You know it, I know it, so drop it already. My priority right now is getting my Aces to where they need to be."

"Tch."

Ryousuke put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I'll tell you what I told Takumi. Everything is as it should be, so there's no need to worry."

Keisuke considered the statement. Aniki was always protecting himself last, putting his brother first, and now, even Fujiwara had been pulled into such a close position with him. What a load of crap that was. Did Fujiwara believe that shit? Did Fujiwara even remotely understand the shitty life Ryousuke was about to be forced to lead?

"What did he say to that?"

Ryousuke shrugged. "I don't know 100% if he believed me or not."

"It's a load of crap."

"Yeah," Ryousuke said with a chuckle. "It is and it isn't."

'Just admit it plainly,' Keisuke thought. 'You know it's bullshit. Why do you take it?'

The batter struck out. The next batter stepped up. A ball. A strike. A ball. A pop-fly to left field. An out. Annoying. Tedious. Stupid. In Keisuke's opinion, the Old Man had it out for his brother to have a life as boring as was this stupid game on TV.

Keisuke looked at his brother; calm, cool, reticent. Annoying. But, even though he was unhappy about his future, there was definitely a pleasant aura around him. After all, he was sitting watching a baseball game instead of studying like usual. Keisuke wouldn't dare to think he was slacking off, but Ryousuke certainly must have arranged his required tasks around whatever happened last night.

'You definitely got it. And, by the look of ya, you got it good too, didn't you, Aniki?' Keisuke thought with a chuckle.

"What?" Ryousuke asked with a suspicious tone upon hearing the stifled mirth of his otouto.

"Nothing."

"Nothing," Ryousuke repeated.

"Yeah. Nothing...much," Keisuke replied with a snicker.

Ryousuke rolled his eyes. "Out with it," he directed. "You may as well get it off your chest."

"You have fun?"

Ryousuke exhaled. "Yes."

"So you smoothed things over with him, I guess," Keisuke said with a wink and a little punch to his brother's upper arm, not wanting to spoil his brother's relaxed state of mind.

"Hmm. What do you think?" Ryousuke returned casually, a smile briefly dancing in his eyes.

"I think you whispered some sweet nothings and made him putty in your hands. Among other things," Keisuke quipped.

"Very funny," Ryousuke said sarcastically. "Don't tell me you'd like me to regale you with details?"

"Hell no!" Keisuke exclaimed, moving his body in an over-exaggerated shudder. "You'll give me nightmares with that shit. As it is, I know I'm gonna have a hard time looking at him the same way for a while."

Ryousuke laughed lightly. He was in a good mood after all, and why wouldn't he be after the way Takumi had awakened him? He could hardly believe it himself.

"You don't have to treat him any differently. I won't be when we're around others."

Keisuke saw his brother avert his gaze to the TV for a split second before it returned to him. "You're not happy with that part, though," Keisuke observed quietly.

"It can't be helped."

"He knows that too, doesn't he?"

"Yeah. He knows."

"Well, I'm glad you talked it over with him and that he's all right with everything."

"It did go better than expected. At first, I honestly wasn't sure how things would turn out. He was very upset by whatever you said to him," Ryousuke said softly.

Keisuke winced a little. "I'm sorry I screwed it up. I guess I don't have the right to say I don't want to share you with whoever, so even if it's him, it's okay. I'm over it. I see what a good mood you're in, so that's always a good thing for me too anyway."

Ryousuke turned to face his brother. "Are you really over it?"

Keisuke frowned. "No. But I'll deal. Just don't go giving him any inside info on my driving or anything."

Ryousuke laughed gently. "Don't worry about that. As a matter of fact, it was Takumi who asked me not to be the team leader when he and I are...alone together."

Keisuke felt his eyes widen. "Really?"

Ryousuke nodded. "It's separate. I'll keep it in check."

"Okay," Keisuke replied. "Will he? I don't need him to be making kissy faces at you when we're out with the team or something," Keisuke grumbled.

Ryousuke gave him his patented "frown of disapproval". It was actually a relief for Keisuke to see it, because it reassured Keisuke without words that the notion of Fujiwara suddenly acting like a schoolgirl around the team was, in fact, a ridiculous one.

"Can you promise me something, Aniki?"

"What is it?"

"Promise me that if you need to vent, lay it on me first, okay?" Keisuke replied earnestly. "I've decided I'm not a kid, so don't keep your shit secret from me anymore."

"I only did it because I didn't think you needed me to burden you with my problems. But, if that's what you want, then I can't see a reason why I should refuse at this point."

"Good. You've been taking care of me for too long, so long that I have no clue how to handle Mom without you here to distract her. She already tried talking to me the other night, and it was a disaster."

Ryousuke raised a brow. "She doesn't hate you, Keisuke," Ryousuke whispered. "She feels guilty. For everything."

"Is that what she said to you?"

"No, not in so many words," Ryousuke had to admit. "But, she's...not well. I worry for her when I'll be gone for the next year."

"I don't even know if I _can_ worry for her," Keisuke said truthfully, "but someone will need to. You don't need to tell me she's 'not well'. I know she's a friggin' drug addict. Guess that's where I got it from."

"Keisuke," Ryousuke admonished gently.

"It's the truth and you know it. Don't cover for _him_ by covering for _her_."

"Yeah, I know it," Ryousuke relented. The third out was made and the game on television broke to commercial. "I often check on her before I leave in the mornings while she's asleep," he offered as a subtle hint to Keisuke for something small he could do.

"Why?" Keisuke whispered.

"To make sure she's not dead."

Keisuke looked into his lap. So Ryousuke had taken that as his responsibility too. No more.

"I'll check on her."

"Thanks."

"And I'll keep an eye on how much he refills her prescriptions if you want. I'm sure I'll have to start emailing you if I want to talk to you, so you'll have to re-set my password and all that crap for me. I just want to hit 'send' and have you get it. I don't care how the whole thing works."

"I'd like that."

"Okay."

The game resumed. The score had apparently been deadlocked at one run apiece since the first inning, and now it was the top of the ninth. "Baseball is friggin' boring as hell," Keisuke lamented. "Want to watch a movie or something? Maybe there's one on pay-per-view?"

"Actually, I find that there's a lot of strategy in baseball. It's interesting if you look at it from the point of view of a coach who has to work with the attributes of his players to combat the attributes of the players on the other team. It's not unlike what we did to prepare for battles, Keisuke."

Keisuke groaned. "Oh, so you're an expert in baseball now? I don't exactly remember you being a Little League All Star or anything; hell, you never even played Little League, Smart Guy!" Keisuke said with a laugh.

"That doesn't mean I never wanted to play it," Ryousuke said evenly. "I was pretty jealous of you when you joined the local Little League."

"Oh give me a break. You told me that you didn't have time for baseball."

"That was true."

"Yeah," Keisuke went on, "and you made it sound like baseball was 'kid stuff'. Man, you were such a little prick."

Ryousuke chuckled. "It probably came out like that because I was upset I didn't get to play."

Keisuke studied his brother as he watched the game. Had it really started way back then for him? Not being able to do the things he wanted to do? Keisuke supposed that it had.

"Why didn't you play, Aniki?" Keisuke asked, just to get confirmation from Ryousuke himself.

His brother sighed. "You don't remember what I did after school when we were kids?"

"Nope. I was out playing baseball or being shooed out to the yard by Mom and Chie-baa-chan until dinner for being a loudmouth."

"Funny you should mention her. I was telling Takumi about the 'tempura incident' this morning over breakfast."

"Eh? 'Tempura incident'?" Keisuke furrowed his brow in confusion. Tempura? It certainly didn't line up with what Keisuke himself might talk about over a breakfast following a tumble in the sack. If he had gotten lucky the night before, breakfast would end up being only a break in the action to refuel, and not a trip down the Takahashi memory lane. Just what kind of boring relationship did his brother and the weirdo have anyway? "What the heck are you talking about?"

"Sheesh, Keisuke. I think the bleaching has finally seeped into your brain. How could you not remember _that_?"

"Shut up!" Keisuke shouted. Then, he remembered. "Oh yeah!" he exclaimed. "I remember now!" Keisuke roared with laughter. "Ah, hell. How could I forget my perfect brother's only fuck up," he said, stifling giggles in the face of the glare he received from his brother. "You tried to set the whole damn house on fire!"

"No, Keisuke," Ryousuke deadpanned. "I tried to make tempura. And it wasn't my ' _only_ fuck up' either, for the record."

Keisuke laughed again. "God, what a mess. I thought for _sure_ you would get it good. Man, you were everyone's favorite; that old lady housekeeper saved your ass. I can't believe she had the whole thing fixed before the 'rents got back. God forbid precious Ryousuke-bo-chan get spanked," Keisuke continued to laugh, but Ryousuke didn't think that was funny at all. Hearing even the more familiar form of "Young Master" made his stomach turn a little.

"Keisuke, you have no idea what happened then, even now, do you?" he asked quietly.

"Eh?"

Keisuke saw how serious his brother looked at him. What the hell did he miss about that?

"Keisuke, I was not her favorite. You were."

"Whatever," the younger replied, but the mirth was suddenly gone. "I wasn't anyone's favorite, and you know it."

"Sorry, Keisuke, but you're wrong. Tell me, now that you're grown and can look back, why do you think she never said a word about it?"

"Like I said, she covered for you."

"No. Even if I confessed to Father, what do you think would have happened?"

"I would have gotten the shit beat out of me anyway. So?"

Ryousuke stared hard at his brother. "Think, Keisuke."

Keisuke thought. Then, he knew. "Oh my God," he breathed quietly. "She made it seem like it was her accident, didn't she?" he whispered.

"Yeah."

"And I didn't get hit over that, did I?" Keisuke asked, though he already knew the answer.

"That's right. She did it for you. That old lady loved you like a grandson, you know."

"I didn't really know that, but, like you say, I guess I can see it now."

"Oh, I think you knew it instinctively back then. You were inconsolable when she passed away. You hogged my bed for a week crying over it at night."

"Yeah, I do remember that." After a few moments in thought, he added, "And you never made fun of me for that. Why?"

"There was no reason to."

"God, I was such a baby," Keisuke affirmed with a slight chuckle. "Crawling into my big brother's bed all the time back when we were kids. Maybe it's my fault you're not straight," he added with a snort.

Ryousuke laughed out loud. "Trust me, Keisuke, please perish the thought. That had _nothing_ to do with the way I turned out."

"Oh well. You had nothing to do with the way I turned out either, you know."

"That, I'm not so sure. If I'd been a regular kid, then maybe things wouldn't have been so hard for you."

Keisuke shrugged. "I guess."

The game had gone to the bottom of the ninth. The last out. No one on base. A hit deep into center field.

"Home run," Ryousuke predicted. As usual, he was right. The small white ball, barely visible in the shot of the TV camera, dropped over the wall and away from the running outfielder. "Game over."

Ryousuke finished his water and rose from the couch. "I've got a little work to do before nightfall."

"Wait a sec, Aniki. Why was it that you never played baseball anyway?" Keisuke asked quietly.

Ryousuke didn't turn around. "You really don't remember?"

"No."

Ryousuke exhaled before turning to his brother. "Monday: English lessons. Tuesday: art lessons. Wednesday: science club. Thursday: piano lessons. Not to mention all the society crap Mother used to drag me along to when I was young. The rest of the time I needed to study and practice so I could maybe get a little time for my own pursuits in the evenings."

"Yeah, I guess I do remember you having to be inside with what I thought was 'extra school'. I'm glad they didn't make me do that. It sucked for you, though."

"Ah, well, that's just the way it was. I was booked from the minute the school bell rang until dinner, and I do believe Little League would have conflicted with my piano lesson," he added with a light laugh.

"You don't even play anymore."

"Nope."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't come in first place in a competition Mother insisted I enter, even though I knew there were far better players there than I was. After that, they sent me to volunteer at the clinic on Thursdays."

"What place did you come in?"

"Fourth."

"Out of how many?"

"I don't know, maybe twenty kids."

"That's not bad," Keisuke remarked.

"But not good enough," Ryousuke said quietly. "Maybe that's why I was very conscious about the battles I sent you two out on. I didn't ever want to put my Aces in a position where the chance of a win was zero. I knew going into that competition that I'd never win it, and that it would be a big disappointment. And, it was. I guess that stayed with me."

"Everything stays with you."

Ryousuke shrugged. "You didn't play baseball for long either, as I recall."

"No. I got kicked off the team for picking a fight with a twit who called me a shorty. But I hated baseball anyway. It was boring. You used to _like_ drawing and playing the piano. I remember that much."

Ryousuke chuckled. "Well, I suppose the activities themselves were interesting and fun to a point. But, there was always pressure to be the best, so that took away from the enjoyment. Turned out I was the best at Science anyway. Good thing, right?"

"Hmpf. Good thing for the Old Man, you mean."

"I'll be in my room," Ryousuke replied. "Are you going to Akina tonight?"

"I don't know. I wasn't really planning on it, but maybe I'll drag Kenta out with me."

"Mind if I tag along?" Ryousuke asked as he neared the stairway.

"Eh? I'm sure this won't really be anything special. From what I hear, the team that's trying to unseat the Speed Stars as fastest on Akina has only mediocre skills. And you and I both know the Speed Stars are more of a 'friendly' outfit; they don't have the resources of a serious racing team, even if they're pretty nice guys."

"True. Can't really argue with that. But, it might be nice to see some new faces and different cars locally though."

Keisuke looked at his brother hard. Why was Ryousuke so damn interested in some scouting of people he normally wouldn't give the time of day? "Do you really want to go?"

"If I can, yeah."

Then realization hit. "Oh. I get it. _He_ said he was going. You want me to play wingman or something for you so you can have an excuse to see your boyfriend without being totally obvious. I see how it is," Keisuke grumbled.

"It's not like that," Ryousuke moaned. "I'm not in high school."

"Then, just go yourself." For a few seconds, it looked as though Ryousuke was seriously contemplating doing just that.

"Never mind. I've got work to do," Ryousuke said at length. "You're right; it has nothing to do with us anyway."

"I hear that one of the new guys is some Gaijin from a place called Appa...crap. Appa-lie-sha in the US. I never heard of that state. Where is it?"

Ryousuke stopped mid-step. "You mean Appalachia?"

"Yeah. That's how that guy Kenji from the Speed Stars said it when I ran into him coincidentally a few days ago. Where the fuck is that?"

Ryousuke chuckled. "It's not a state, but collectively refers to a region where mountain range that passes through several states in the Eastern part of the country. Interesting. Did Kenji-kun say what he drove?"

"Oh, so it's a mountain. That's cool. Anyway, he said the guy drove a Mustang and could drift pretty well in it, but I find that hard to believe."

"Not necessarily. I've done a little reading and the Mustang is actually a popular choice for drifting over there."

"You mean _power-sliding,_ " Keisuke clarified with an undignified sound. But, he knew that he was going to be playing wing-man for sure now. "I guess we're going then, right?"

"If I can get some serious work done, I'd like to. Plus, there's something that both you and Takumi could benefit from with this little incident."

"Eh? Come on, Aniki. Don't be ridiculous."

"On the contrary, Keisuke. I'm curious to test the analytical abilities of my Aces. I want to know how you'd size up the situation, if you will. The skill to quickly calculate the abilities of several drivers with minimal information will be very useful to you both when faced with a whole field of competitors in a professional race. It's another form of practice; this one is for your minds," he said, tapping a finger to his temple.

" _And_ you get to see your boyfriend," Keisuke said sulkily.

Ryousuke walked up another two stairs and Keisuke figured he wouldn't be dignified with a response.

"Yeah, that too."

Keisuke heard his brother's answer, not quite believing it. He had barely heard it, but he heard it. He shook his head and got out his cell to call Kenta to let him know that Akina was where he was going to be instead of Akagi, at least for a portion of the night. "Okay, Romeo. I'll take one for the team this time," he muttered under his breath as he dialed.

However, even though it would probably be a pain in the ass, it was nice to see his brother relaxed and happy for once. For that, at least, it would be worth it to suffer a boring night on Akina taking his brother's "analytical" test. Leave it to Ryousuke to come up with some perfectly logical yet totally bullshit excuse.

'Prick.'


	34. Chapter 34

Akina Togue Downhill Starting Point 9:07 PM Saturday

"How was it, Takumi?" queried Kenji as Takumi and Iketani alighted from Iketani's S13. "Is Iketani ready to go, or does he still suck?" he added with a laugh.

"Hey!" Iketani shouted in response to the playful slight. "I don't see you breaking any course records either, you little punk!"

Kenji laughed. "Don't remind me," he groaned, eyeing his 180SX with a slight frown. "I wonder when they'll actually issue the challenge."

"I don't know, but it will probably be soon. They've been up here every night for the last week." Turning to Takumi, Iketani asked, "So, what are my chances?"

"Well," Takumi began, "I won't know for sure until the opponent gets here, but you've really improved a lot, Iketani-senpai. Even the third S-curve that used to give you trouble is pretty smooth now. The new high grip tires seem to work well with the balance of the car, but I seemed to feel that the suspension is not keeping up with the amount of acceleration you're pulling from the engine. You might want to tighten it up a little. It will be helpful when your tires are pushed to the limit."

"Cool!" Itsuki shouted, tears streaming at the prospect of his team leader actually winning a race. "Takumi's amazing Project D skills hard at work!" Once again, Itsuki's "rival" had showed more growth in his technical analysis. Was there no end to how far his friend could go? If only he didn't drive a hachi-go…yeah right. If only he didn't suck.

"Hey, Itsuki," Takumi scowled, interrupting his friend's perceived sharing of Takumi's glory. "There's nothing special about what I said. Stop getting so hyper."

Itsuki deflated a little, but he still nudged Kenji with an elbow and both Speed Stars nodded their approval of their Downhill Hero.

"All right," Iketani said, almost to himself as he formed a fist to punctuate the Ace's assessment.

"Although," Takumi added, putting an absent finger to his cheek, "I couldn't say what would happen in a race. Practice is practice, and a battle is a battle. If you lose your focus for a second, it's over."

"True, true," lamented Kenji while Iketani nodded his agreement. "Those guys should be getting here any minute if they keep to their same schedule. Their lead-off man is the American in the Mustang, and then their team leader is a college student who drives an R33. Heavy machinery."

Takumi looked perplexed. "Is the Mustang really a heavy car?"

"For a downhill, yeah. Especially this one; I hear it's a V8. Gas guzzler."

"Hmm."

 _How would I attack a car like that? What was it Keisuke-san said about America? "Power Game"?_

"It's not as big and boxy, or as heavy as the GTR," Iketani added, "but it's body is pretty wide for a coupe. This one has some modifications too, and the scoop on the hood is ugly it's so oversized."

"That's not the only thing ugly about it," Kenji said with a laugh. "You'll be stunned, Takumi." The other guys snickered, and Takumi figured he'd have to wait and see what all the fuss was about.

"I guess I'll have to take a look at it," he sighed with disinterest, walking toward the vending machines. "Anyone need coffee?"

"I'll take one if you're buying, Takumi," Itsuki replied while the senpai shook their heads in the negative.

When Takumi was out of earshot, Kenji asked the loaded question of the night. "So, Itsuki. You find out what Takumi did last night?"

Itsuki glanced toward the vending machines to make sure his friend was far enough away. "He only said he went 'out'. But I think he stayed out all night."

Itsuki was met by two pairs of raised eyebrows.

"But," Itsuki continued with a nervous laugh, "he never tells me much about personal stuff, so why don't we just drop it, okay?"

Iketani studied his younger friend. "We were right, weren't we?" he asked directly.

'Shit,' Itsuki thought, 'I'm screwed.' The senpai had been bugging him all week about what may or may not be going on with Takumi and Takahashi Ryousuke, and when he accidentally let it slip that Takumi had been unreachable by phone all night again, they had resumed their digging for dirt. Typical senpai. Always needing to be "right". Itsuki had insisted Takumi was hanging out with Mika-chan, but the Senpai seemed to have their own weird ideas. The problem was their "weird idea" was actually the truth. 'Damn it.'

"R-right about what, Senpai? Let's get back to the cars," Itsuki pleaded but it was too late.

"I think that's a 'yes', Iketani," Kenji whispered.

"I agree," Iketani whispered back. "Itsuki," he said mock-sternly, and as loudly as he dared, "I think you know what this means."

"No, Senpai!"

"Oh yes," Kenji quipped. "It's time to pay up. 5000 yen, buddy!"

"Eh?!" Itsuki shouted. "Do you even _understand_ how much 5000 yen is for a guy like me!" he lamented.

"Shut _up!_ " Iketani hissed. "Takumi _heard_ you, you idiot! Now, a bet's a bet. Cough it up, Itsuki."

"I didn't agree to it at all," the kouhai whispered.

"Yes you did," Iketani replied in a hushed voice. "5000 yen to the loser. We bet he was with Takahashi Ryousuke, and you bet he was with Mika-chan. I can tell that we _were_ right. Weren't...we...?" he added deliberately, as if he was the "bad cop" in a crappy police drama.

"You suck, Senpai. I'm not saying anything outright, but," he added sheepishly, "can you at least wait 'til payday?"

Iketani and Kenji looked at each other. Victory. Truth was now officially stranger than fiction. "All right," Iketani agreed hurriedly, noticing Takumi was well on his way back to the group. Now was not the time to discuss this new bit of info with Kenji. That could wait until they were safely seated in a booth at a Family's Restaurant after their younger friends left for home. "Payday. 5000 yen."

Itsuki gulped. Who knew the senpai could be so cruel as to make a bet on who Takumi was sleeping with? It was unforgivable. Itsuki would have loved to tell Takumi about it so that he could witness the ass-kicking his friend might decide to unleash upon them. However, the fact that Itsuki _did_ agree to participate in the bet at all pretty much ruled out that possibility. Now, Itsuki was not only unable to compete in the probable battle with the Ford Mustang with his vastly underpowered car, but he now owed the senpai the equivalent of about 50 American dollars. Lovely. 'When will I ever learn to keep my big mouth shut?'

"So what costs 5000 yen, Senpai?" Takumi asked as he approached the threesome and handed Itsuki his warm can of coffee, which Itsuki proceeded to gulp down despite the scalding his mouth was probably getting as a result.

 _You're gonna burn your throat raw, Itsuki! What the hell is up with you?!_

"Oh, nothing, Takumi," Kenji intercepted, seeing the questioning look cross Takumi's face. "Just thinking of replacing some spark plugs and things on the 180. No big."

"Ah," Takumi replied, but he wasn't convinced. He opened his own canned coffee and took a sip.

 _What is up with all of them today? Is it my imagination, or are they acting weird around me all of a sudden? Did Itsuki tell them something?! Do they really need to know everything I do?!_

Takumi stared hard at Itsuki. If there was a hope of getting the truth to come out, Itsuki would be the most likely to crack under pressure and spill the beans.

Itsuki swallowed. "It's nothing, Takumi!" he exclaimed, "I was just teasing the senpai because you're the only one who had a love-love date with his girlfriend last night!" Itsuki prattled on and on about the "super-cute" Mika-chan, and how Takumi was such a stud, and how pathetic the rest of the Speed Stars leads were in comparison in the girlfriend department.

 _Shut up now! You're overdoing it! A lot!_

Iketani and Kenji could see Takumi's temper flare in his eyes just a little, so they hurriedly re-directed the Project D Ace to evaluate Kenji's performance in the 180. "Here, Takumi, forget about all that," Iketani offered. "We're here because you're home and we need help. We shouldn't tease you about...uh...things."

Iketani caught a glare from Kenji that seemed to say "nice hesitation there, idiot." Hopefully, Takumi wouldn't notice. Unfortunately for them, he did.

"What 'things'?" Takumi whispered, tightening his grip on the innocent can of coffee.

"Ah, that is to say," Iketani stammered, "your personal business. It's really no business of ours, right Kenji?"

"Yeah, we just like to tease because, unfortunately, Itsuki's right. We all suck in the romance department, don't we Iketani?"

"For sure!" Iketani exclaimed, a bit over-excited.

 _Is he turning into the second coming of Itsuki? I'm not buying this shit. They know something. They know! What should I do? Lie? I have to lie. I can't tell them about Ryousuke, and I really don't want to tell them about me._

"I don't know what's gotten into everyone," Takumi began carefully, "but my life isn't so exciting that you should worry about it."

Iketani and Kenji both knew they needed to shut the hell up. Even Itsuki looked sullen.

"Takumi," Iketani said quietly, "honestly, we don't mind that you've been meeting all sorts of people with Project D. It's good for you, and, really, you're still our pride. No one will ever forget last summer, not for a long time, and probably never. The Fujiwara Tofu Shop hachi-roku is already a legend. We're just a little jealous," he said with a sincere smile. "But, whatever you do, whoever you associate with, we're behind you. Okay?"

Takumi furrowed his brow. He drank the rest of his coffee in one shot, and tossed the can into the bin before he allowed himself to crush it with his hand.

 _Did he just tell me, without telling me, that he knows? I think that's what just happened. What do I do now? Calm down. Just don't say anything. It will all be over in a few months anyway, so there's no reason to blab about anything._

"Takumi," Itsuki ventured, "I think we are just like everyone else. Everyone is interested in whatever you do. You're famous."

"I'm not famous," Takumi asserted sternly. "I'm just a guy who drives a car really fast. There are plenty of fast drivers out there."

"But only one of them is from Akina," Iketani said, getting a vigorous nod of support from Kenji. "And only one of them is our friend."

Takumi nodded. He supposed that these three guys were his friends after all. He was starting to contemplate who else might be termed a "friend" when his ears caught a very familiar sound getting closer to the peak.

 _What the...?_

All three Speed Stars joined Takumi in a look toward the road.

Takumi knew that sound as well as he knew the sound of his own name. The sound of the one car to which he had made it his solemn oath to never lose. Sure enough, his ears didn't deceive him.

"Takahashi Keisuke?!" the three Speed Stars exclaimed in unison as they saw the yellow FD arrive and pass them. Keisuke slowed the car and did a flawlessly smooth three point turn and pulled into the parking area. It looked like he was on his cell phone inside the car, so the blonde Takahashi didn't alight from the FD right away. "What the heck is he doing up here?" Iketani asked.

"I ran into him the other day," Kenji supplied. "I had no idea he'd show up when I told him we had intruders on Akina. Normally the Red Suns wouldn't bat an eyelash, and especially not now with Project D."

"Ryousuke told me he's been bored," Takumi said, unthinking.

"Eh?" came the unified chorus. All three of them were now gaping at him wide-eyed.

 _What did I say? Oh no...Shit!_

"Since when do you get to call Takahashi Ryousuke just 'Ryousuke'?!" Itsuki demanded to know, but he immediately regretted his outburst. Wait. Takumi had done that once before, the night when Itsuki first got his mind fucked. 'Uh-oh. I messed up!' he thought wildly.

 _Shit!_

Takumi was speechless. He wasn't supposed to be that familiar with Ryousuke outside of that stupid apartment. He was supposed to act as though nothing had changed. Wasn't he? It was he who said it was fine that way, wasn't it?

"I, uh," he stammered, his face heating. "I'm not close to him like that, I mean, uh, Ryousuke- _san_ is just, well, he's just..."

 _Shit! This is bad, and it's pissing me off that they know! They know! What if they said something? What if people found out about me? What about Ryousuke? He could get in serious trouble and it would be all my fault!_

"It's okay, Takumi," Iketani said sincerely, coming to his rescue. He tried to hide his own shock, but Takumi was blushing furiously like he always did at the mention of the elder Takahashi, and, was it somehow...worse than usual? Iketani didn't think it was his imagination. "I'm sure Itsuki _realizes_ it was just a slip of the tongue," he declared with an admonishing stare to an Itsuki who seemed as though he was in dire fear of getting his ass kicked. "And, I'm sure we know you didn't mean anything by it. After all, you're the one who's friends with the Takahashi Brothers, not us. Right, Kenji?"

 _Stop talking about it!_

"Yeah, Takumi! You've known Itsuki for longer than we have, so you know what an idiot he is, right?"

"Hey," Itsuki protested half-heartedly. He couldn't help it; it just slipped out much the same way as had Takumi's familiar reference to Takahashi Ryousuke. Even though he knew the truth of things to an extent, hearing it again was still a shock. He couldn't get over the fact that his cool, chick-magnet best friend actually did _it_ with a guy. And, not just _any_ guy either, but the freaking White Comet of Akagi. It was still nothing but the biggest mindfuck of Itsuki's life. He could only imagine what Takumi might be going through.

No, Itsuki couldn't imagine it at all.

Takumi had turned away from them for a moment and Itsuki hoped that he wasn't going to get mad; Takumi didn't get that way often, but when he did it was always bad. Itsuki shuddered and even the senpai started to look a little nervous.

"I don't know what you three think you know about me," Takumi said quietly. "But, whatever it is, it isn't something that I want to hear people discussing."

"Takumi-"

"No, Iketani-senpai!" Takumi interrupted sternly, turning to face his friends and casting a brief look toward the FD that still housed his rival. "You guys are going to _drop it._ I'm not only saying it for my own sake, either. It's not just me involved. Got it?"

"Sure, Takumi," Iketani assured him gently. "If you say it that way, I think I can understand. It's okay, you know." Seeing Takumi scowl, he hurriedly added, "Not that there's anything, you know, to be okay about." The pinch to the back of his arm from Kenji told him to quit while he was ahead.

Before Takumi could retort, he heard the sound of the door of the FD closing.

"Yo!" Keisuke greeted as he approached the group. He hoped he had his "friendly" face on straight. He was a little ticked that he ended up coming to Akina to play wing-man for his brother, especially since his brother had not yet arrived. The quick phone call he just made told him that Ryousuke had to take a call relating to his classes or some shit, but geez. Where the hell was he? And where the fuck was Kenta? Does it really take that long to fill a crappy S14 with gas?

"Keisuke-san?" came the questionable return greeting from the weirdo which was accompanied by a chorus of "Good evenings" and "How are you doings" from the others.

"What's up, guys? I heard you might be having a little excitement out here, so I thought I'd come check it out," Keisuke said easily. The three Speed Stars guys seemed to believe it. Takumi, well, not so much. His rival was eyeing him suspiciously, as if waiting for a better explanation.

 _You're bored, so are you here to make me miserable? I'm not really ready to deal with you yet. I think I get you, but I'm not letting my guard down. No way._

"Well, we're probably about to have some company up here," the guy named Ike-Ike...God, Keisuke could never remember that guy's name, piped up.

"So I hear. I ran into your boy at the convenience store the other day," Keisuke replied, nodding to Kenji. "I'm interested to see this big bad Mustang," he added with a disapproving snort. He saw Fujiwara stifle a little chuckle. That was a start.

"They're not here yet," Takumi offered.

"Well I can see _that,_ Sherlock," Keisuke playfully teased his counterpart on D, who seemed to be in one of his shy moods. Or, maybe not. He changed his opinion quickly when he saw a dagger of a stare cast briefly in his direction. Perhaps his brother didn't do an absolutely perfect job of smoothing things over with Fujiwara after all. 'I guess I better behave. If he's pissed while Aniki's here, I'll never hear the end of it.'

"I'm just kiddin' ya, Fujiwara. Lighten up, will ya?" he said, trying his best to keep the peace. Since when was that _his_ job anyway? Damn Ryousuke and his stupid little man crush.

Sensing the palpable tension that was around Takumi, Kenji broke the spell with a congenial thanks to Keisuke for the festivities from the week before.

"Yeah, that was fun wasn't it?" Keisuke asked, unable to resist torturing his rival, daring to wink at Fujiwara.

 _What the hell?! That's it. I'm out of here._

"Well, you guys have fun. I'm tired, so I'm going to go home since those guys aren't here," Takumi declared evenly.

"What?!" Itsuki shouted. "Aw, come on, Takumi! I thought you wanted to check these guys out!"

Iketani knew it had nothing to do with the potential challengers; Takumi was obviously uncomfortable making small talk with Keisuke. He looked at Kenji and the other man nodded. If they had sized up the situation correctly, no wonder Takumi might feel strange around Keisuke if he had been intimate with his rival's elder brother. And, it seemed that Keisuke knew enough too. He was about to tell Takumi to go on home when Keisuke cut him off.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Fujiwara," Keisuke said seriously.

"Oh? And why not?" Takumi asked quietly. His tone wasn't angry, but it seemed almost wary. Keisuke supposed the guy had a right to that.

"Because we have 'training' tonight," Keisuke replied. There was no way Keisuke was going to let Fujiwara run back home to Tofu Heaven. No. Because he'd be the one dealing with a pissy Ryousuke later, and that could cause a ton of problems of its own. Keisuke decided he liked the "happier" version of his brother, and no way was he about to let the weirdo screw that up.

 _Huh?_

"Yup. Training," Keisuke affirmed, seeing the question in his rival's eyes.

Everyone in the group seemed to have the same collective confusion.

"What are you talking about, Keisuke-san?" Takumi asked. "I didn't know about any more training or practices."

"Uh, yeah," Keisuke faltered, lighting a cigarette so that he could buy a few seconds to come up with a decent explanation. He couldn't exactly say to Fujiwara that his brother was making an excuse to come and see him. "Aniki said he wanted to see how our 'analytical skills' were going. Wants us to size up this new team and tell him what we think, I guess."

 _What?! I don't get it. Even though they're my friends, the Speed Stars aren't exactly top-level drivers. And, this other team can't be that great, can they? Why would Ryousuke care about what we think of them?_

"I don't get it," Takumi admitted. "Why now?"

Keisuke rolled his eyes. Did he really have to spell _everything_ out for this guy? It wasn't as if he could say, "because Ryousuke apparently didn't get enough of a good look at you last night" or something equally snarky. Not with other people around, anyway. Other people knowing his brother's secret could be bad for Ryousuke if word suddenly started to spread about it. And, he supposed, Fujiwara wouldn't care much for that either, especially since he was in front of his little posse. The rest of the Speed Stars looked utterly bewildered.

"Aniki wanted to 'test' us or something. The prick," he added with what he hoped was a disarming smile.

Fujiwara was certainly not an idiot, but sometimes he could be simply too oblivious for his own good. Why wasn't that downright _irritating_ to Ryousuke? Ryousuke certainly got irritated with his own brother easily enough when Keisuke was either feigning cluelessness or was actually clueless. Keisuke thought for sure that Ryousuke wouldn't have the patience to deal with that. But, obviously, he did. Was the sex really that good? Keisuke shuddered again at the thought of his brother thinking with something other than his brain. That was so _wrong_.

"Do you mean...?" Takumi asked, his voice trailing off, and his eyes searching his rival for a straight answer. He couldn't hide the alarm that he knew was coloring his expression.

 _No. Not now. No._

"Yeah, Fujiwara. Aniki should be up here any minute," Keisuke replied, unable to help empathizing with Takumi's obvious awkward feelings. 'This is weird for me too, believe me,' he thought to himself.

Takumi felt a wave of terror wash over him, but, somehow, he managed to recover. He hoped that it had been fast enough so that his friends wouldn't barrage him with annoying questions or tease him about getting flustered over Ryousuke again.

 _Just be normal. Nothing's changed when we're around other people. Nothing. He's Ryousuke. I mean Ryousuke-san! And I'm just me...it's a public road. He can come here anytime he wants, right?_

"That's okay, I guess. When will Ryousuke-san get here?" Takumi asked casually.

Keisuke was inwardly startled that Fujiwara had made such a smooth recovery. The guy was obviously caught by surprise to learn that Ryousuke would be appearing on Akina tonight. How the hell did he brush that off so seemingly easily when Keisuke was sure he'd been terrified not a second before? Maybe Fujiwara really _could_ keep his personal business personal. The thought that his rival might be turning into "Ryousuke Jr." crept into Keisuke's mind again, and it was a little disturbing to say the least. This guy should _not_ have it more together than him! 'Okay, Fujiwara. You don't have the monopoly on cool. If you can be cool, I sure as hell can be.'

"He had to take an urgent phone call from school or some shit, but he said he was on his way."

"Ah," Takumi affirmed. "I wonder if those other guys will show up. It would be a shame if Ryousuke-san came here for nothing since he's so busy with school."

Keisuke almost choked on his own cigarette smoke. 'Are you fucking kidding me?' Keisuke thought wildly. Was Fujiwara really that smooth? Or was he simply _that_ dense that he didn't yet grasp the concept that Ryousuke didn't give a shit about these supposed opponents at all, and wouldn't give a rat's ass if they didn't show as long as he could say 'hi'. Or, Keisuke inwardly shuddered at his own mind's ramblings, as long as he could check out Takumi's ass, or whatever he wanted to do when he got there. "Uh, yeah. I'd _hate_ to see him get behind on his studies or anything for nothing," Keisuke said, not bothering to hide the dripping sarcasm in his voice. When he said it, he saw a hint of understanding pass over Fujiwara's face. Maybe the guy really did get that Ryousuke had a "personal" motivation for coming to the Akina togue tonight.

 _I think I get it. My God, is he really coming just to "hang out"? Is it because I said I'd be here? Should I really be that conceited to think that? But, if it's true, it's...wonderful. Is it? Shit. I'm not sure. Keisuke-san won't say anything outright, but maybe I can get something out of him...he's not stupid. He'd get it, wouldn't he?_

Takumi narrowed his eyes a little, noting the rapt interest his friends had in the exchange between the Double Aces.

 _They are way too interested! Keisuke-san, shut up!_

"I doubt he'd let that happen over _anything_ ," Takumi said meaningfully to his rival.

 _Did you get that, Keisuke-san? I'm telling you I won't let myself get in his way. Now, GET IT, so I don't have to say anything more specific!_

Keisuke couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was Fujiwara telling him that he understood the tricky nature of his involvement with Ryousuke? Was Fujiwara really telling him that he knew it wasn't going to be forever, and that he knew Ryousuke would ultimately do what he was supposed to do and leave this "affair", or whatever it was, behind? Keisuke supposed that's what the guy was saying. He had to admit that Fujiwara was pretty tough to understand that and accept that his "relationship" with Ryousuke wouldn't last. He was _really_ tough to be so _normal_ about Ryousuke leaving, when Keisuke himself couldn't help but feel stressed about the whole concept of Ryousuke being so far away from him for the next however long while.

"Yeah, that's for sure," Keisuke said quietly. "I know you respect that, Fujiwara."

 _Good. He gets it. I'm not taking him away from you, Keisuke-san, and I know it's going to be over soon._

"Yeah, I do. I'm glad he's free to come here tonight," Takumi ventured, wondering how Keisuke would respond to that.

Keisuke chuckled. "Even though he's making it into work for us, it should still be fun." Keisuke had the passing feeling that he was giving in somewhat, but it didn't bother him as much as he thought it would. He had to accept it: Fujiwara was an okay guy. He was probably more than okay. He was probably exactly the thing Ryousuke needed, if he looked at things honestly.

 _Okay. I can handle this. I can._

Takumi made the effort to smile a little. Maybe Keisuke wasn't so bad.

"It would be really cool to get Ryousuke-san's opinion on these guys, especially on the Mustang. We've taken a crash course on reading up on it, but everyone knows that Ryousuke-san knows a ton of stuff on every kind of sports car. If he had any info on this car, it would be incredible if he gave us a hint," Kenji piped up. "Do you think he'd do that, Keisuke-san?"

Keisuke laughed. "It depends on how generous he's feeling when he gets here. But, he might make me and Fujiwara here do it instead. He's a jerk like that."

The Speed Stars looked a little surprised at Keisuke's statement, but not Fujiwara. The guy actually chuckled. Was Ryousuke that at home around the downhill Ace to be his normal prick self around him? Keisuke wasn't sure if they could have gotten _that_ close so quickly. Fujiwara should be shuddering instead of laughing if he'd experienced Ryousuke in one of his bastard moods for himself. Despite the fact that Fujiwara probably had seen more of the "real" Ryousuke than had most all other people, Keisuke was suddenly satisfied that Fujiwara still had a little more to learn about Ryousuke after all.

Keisuke and Fujiwara started to talk with each other about what they should be looking out for in their upcoming "test" . Whether or not they realized it consciously, they had started to move away from the rest of the Speed Stars, totally engrossed in their discussion. Iketani was truly amazed to see a whole separate world encircle the two Aces, as if their auras were suddenly coming to life before his eyes as the two talked serious racing.

"You see it, Kenji?" Iketani asked.

"Yeah. Pretty amazing."

Even Itsuki stopped prattling for a second and looked at his best friend. Those two were the real deal. Why Takumi was sometimes insecure about his place on D boggled the mind. Seeing him with Keisuke engaged in a lively debate about what constitutes "power" on a downhill, Itsuki realized that such God-like racing sense was something that no amount of practicing with his hachi-go would ever come close to duplicating.

The Speed Stars could be seen barely containing their excitement that the three big shots from Project D would be up on their precious mountain all at the same time. Though Iketani had always held a mild personal grudge against Ryousuke because of his ill-fated attempt at romance with Satou Mako, he still admired the White Comet. Intellectually, he realized that it wasn't Takahashi Ryousuke's fault that the girl Iketani liked happened to have had a crush on the street racing icon. If he really looked at it honestly, it was more likely that the shy Mako never even approached Ryousuke at all. Their Boss Yuuichi had explained that girls sometimes get crushes on people they may see as idols, and there was probably nothing of any real substance to Mako's liking of the rich, handsome, elder Takahashi beyond that. Iketani had to admit to himself that if there was any street racer who could be elevated to idol status, it was Ryousuke. For him, Takahashi Ryousuke would always hold a special place in his heart as the White Comet of Akagi, and it seemed like such a huge loss to have Ryousuke retired. Even though Keisuke and Takumi were being placed in the spotlight, one they both deserved, Iketani could definitely see the influence of Takahashi Ryousuke in them both, especially as they escaped into their own world of "shop talk".

So, Iketani decided he shouldn't hold the situation with Mako against Ryousuke anymore. That was just an excuse after all. What happened with Mako was his own fault, plain and simple; Ryousuke likely didn't even know her. But, until Iketani found out that Ryousuke apparently swung the other way, he'd always been jealous that Mako liked Ryousuke enough to carry a photo of the man in her purse. He cursed the accidental viewing of that photo for the millionth time in his mind; if only he'd never known about Mako-chan's crush on Ryousuke. If only he hadn't asked her about who she liked in the first place!

"Hey, Iketani, come over here for a minute," Kenji said quietly, seeing the now-familiar "Mako angst" face on his buddy. Once he led Iketani away from the others and over by the S13, he asked, "You gonna be okay with Takahashi Ryousuke coming here?"

Iketani sighed. "Yeah, don't worry about it Kenji. I've got nothing against him."

"I guess we know now that probably even you-know-who wouldn't have had a chance," Kenji whispered. "Crazy," he added with a little shake of his head. "It's too bad we couldn't announce it. It sure would free up a lot of girls," he remarked quietly.

Iketani chuckled. "We shouldn't really talk about that here, Kenji," he began, "but I can't argue with the appeal of what you just said."

Kenji gave his friend a playful punch to the arm. "Does it make us more, or does it make us less pathetic that Takumi has had not only girlfriends, but a boyfriend too?" he whispered with a laugh.

"Honestly, I have no idea," Iketani said with a snicker. "Let's just say...less, and leave it at that."

Kenji nodded. A few seconds later, the sound of two cars could be heard approaching the top. One was definitely a rotary; it was nearly impossible to mistake the unique sound of the rotary engine. Iketani and Kenji walked back toward Itsuki. "Looks like he's about to get here, Itsuki. Please try to act," Kenji faltered, "normal. At least, as normal as you can manage, all right?"

"Idiot!" Itsuki whispered. "Do you really think I want to mess with this crap?" he hissed.

The senpai looked at each other, and decided Itsuki would behave out of fear of getting his ass kicked by Takumi, or worse, by Takahashi Keisuke, if for nothing else. A minute later, the white FC arrived at the top followed by the orange S14 driven by that Nakamura Kenta.

 _He's here._

"Finally," Keisuke groaned. He walked over to Kenta's car. "What the fuck took you so long, Kenta?"

"Sorry, Keisuke-san! I, uh, brought some drinks," Kenta replied, handing Keisuke a mineral water.

Keisuke took the water. "Thanks. I guess you're forgiven, for now. Just don't act like an idiot up here tonight," he warned.

Kenta smiled and got out of the car. Takumi wondered if his new awareness of his own tendencies was coloring his brain because, for a second, he actually wondered if Kenta really _liked_ Keisuke, other than just being his number one fanboy. Takumi shook his head. Poor Kenta. Takumi had heard his rival mumble a couple of names in his sleep once, but none of the names was "Nakamura" or "Kenta". Or any _guy_.

Takumi fixed his gaze on the white FC. Tonight would be so much more than a test of his "analytical skills". It would be a test for his ability to put his money where his mouth had been, and show Ryousuke that nothing had changed, that there was no way he would intentionally betray his secret.

Their secret.

Takumi figured it was now just as much his secret as it was Ryousuke's. It sucked that his friends knew, but that wasn't because of anything Takumi said directly. They wouldn't say anything to Ryousuke. Takumi could at least take comfort in that, and he could deny it outright if pressed. Ryousuke was still a Racing Demi-God to them, and Takumi was confident that Iketani and Kenji could reign it in when necessary. Itsuki could too, he thought, if he threatened him with bodily harm enough. Usually a cold stare could do the trick, or else, Takumi could simply walk away like all the times he used to do when Itsuki got too curious about Mogi.

Ryousuke got out of his car and he was talking on his cell phone, and he didn't look very pleased. Straining to hear, Takumi could tell he was talking about school; rather, he was _lecturing_ someone. Though Takumi couldn't hear the words, it was obvious that Ryousuke was displeased about something. Maybe it was that weird guy Yoshida on the other end. Takumi didn't know.

Ryousuke curtly closed his call and walked over to the group. Takumi saw his expression change into his normal neutral one; it wasn't pleased or displeased, it just was.

 _Okay. He's the same. Okay._

"Good evening, everyone," Ryousuke said smoothly to the group. He looked around briefly. "I see your guests have yet to arrive, Iketani-san," Ryousuke remarked to the Speed Stars leader, barely nodding the rest of his greeting to the rest of the group, including Takumi. For a brief instant, Takumi felt hurt.

 _Stop. He can't specifically say hello to just you. Idiot._

"No, they haven't come, but we're still expecting them. They've been here every night," Iketani replied. "Oh, and, it's okay to call me Iketani," he added.

Ryousuke nodded.

"Aniki, how are we going to take our little test if those idiots don't get here?" Keisuke piped up.

"Hmm. I don't think we'll have to worry about finding something to do. It's a road, isn't it? We all have cars, don't we? Surely we can think of something to pass the time."

"Tch," Keisuke replied. 'We can do that on Akagi with much better drivers, you prick,' he grumbled to himself.

"Oh, and there's something else," Ryousuke continued, ignoring Keisuke's displeasure and directing his attention fully to Takumi for the first time. Ryousuke almost wished he didn't look so hot. Almost. He cleared his throat a little. "Fujiwara."

"Yes, Ryousuke-san?"

 _Be calm. Be normal._

"After we're finished here tonight, if you could follow me back to Takasaki, that would be good. I meant to have the DVD of our next outing with me tonight, but I ended up getting sidetracked with something work related so I left it behind. Can you do that?"

"Uh, yes, Ryousuke-san. I can do that."

 _Did you really get sidetracked? You?_

"Good," Ryousuke answered evenly, but Takumi suddenly saw that minute flicker in his dark eyes. It was gone almost before it had appeared, but Takumi had seen it. He was sure of it.

 _You meant to forget it. So you could ask me to go home with you later without really asking. This is what you were up to? You're trying to kill me._

Takumi cast a nervous glance in the direction of his friends. Thankfully, they still seemed to be basking in the glory of having the Rotary Brothers on their mountain. He looked at Keisuke, and that was a different story.

 _I don't think my friends picked up on it. But I think Keisuke-san did. What the hell are you doing, Ryousuke? This is hard enough for me, so don't make it harder! Even though...I do want to go..._

Keisuke had to use all of his strength to keep his jaw from dropping. 'Geez, Aniki, you trying to torture the guy or something? Even I can see through that shit! Wait a minute...'

"Hey, Aniki, what the hell?" Keisuke asked, furrowing his brow. "I haven't seen that DVD yet!"

Ryousuke smirked. "When you get home tonight, go watch TV. It's already in the DVD player, Keisuke."

So far, so good. Ryousuke was impressed with Takumi and Keisuke both. Neither of them seemed to be phased too much, at least outwardly. Perhaps they had come to a mutual understanding? It almost seemed that way. Good. It was the right decision to make this kind of a "trial run" of sorts before the final meeting to discuss the debut and the contracts. Ryousuke figured that if there was going to be any friction between the three of them, it would be better to get it out here at Akina where nothing mattered, and not at the usual meeting place with the rest of the team.

Anything that might have gone wrong at Akina could easily be fixed by Ryousuke pulling his Aces aside, and/or lecturing Keisuke if necessary. If something were to happen in front of the chiefs, or, worse, in front of the press, it would not bode well for a good result in Tokyo. As it was, this was to be a critical outing, and there was much more riding on it than either of the Aces was currently aware. Ryousuke had learned from one of his contacts that there would be reps from some of the teams who had expressed interest in the Aces coming to the debut in Tokyo. And big name ones at that. The news was absolutely thrilling for Ryousuke, and it took all his effort to keep it quiet, much in the same way it was taking all his effort not to outwardly admire his lover in front of the whole stupid crowd.

Sure, he did manage to forget the DVD. Accidentally. Accidentally on purpose. Accidentally on purpose in the trunk of the FC so that he could hand it over...well, wherever they ended up crashing. It didn't have to be Takasaki; it could be a hotel in Shibukawa for all he cared. Sure, Keisuke had seen through him. 'Oh well. He's my brother after all.' So far, it seemed that either Takumi was a far better actor than Ryousuke could have ever thought possible, or that Takumi didn't quite catch the nuance of his request. If the latter ended up being the case, he might have to punish him a little for that later...

For his own part, however, it was maddening. Takumi had changed his clothes and he was wearing a green T-shirt with some kind of surfing graphic on it. Takumi seemed to really favor surf wear; he had several shirts depicting surfing themes. Ryousuke made a mental note of it, and another mental note to ask him about it. God, he looked hot. The jeans he was wearing were tighter than normal, and this particular T-shirt wasn't quite as baggy or misshapen as some of his others that Ryousuke had seen him wear in the summertime. In fact, this T-shirt almost fit him, and Ryousuke wondered if he was actually having a harder time keeping his expression neutral than was Takumi. The thought was mildly disconcerting for reasons he didn't now have time to consider.

"That DVD better be in there, Aniki. You've been holding out on me too long now," Keisuke groaned, stealing a look at his rival, who happened to be staring off into space. Fujiwara really did seem like his normal self after all. In fact, it was disarmingly normal. The guy was still blushing, but it wasn't really visible unless you looked for it, which, Keisuke had to ruefully admit, he was. He wondered if his brother was looking for it too, the smug bastard. Keisuke shot a look to Ryousuke, but it seemed that even Ryousuke was a little startled by Takumi's casual disposition. Keisuke could tell, because it looked almost as though his brother was fingering something in his pocket, like his pack of cigarettes. Was Ryousuke actually a little nervous? Keisuke smiled to himself. That was something he'd never expected from his brother, and it could end up being an absolute life saver if he ever needed some good blackmail material to get any future favors out of him. He could use it someday, of that, Keisuke was sure.

"It's ready to watch, Keisuke, don't worry," Ryousuke calmly re-affirmed, thankful for any repartee having his brother there could give to him. Ryousuke ruefully realized that this test should really be defined as a test for himself and not for his drivers. That was kind of pathetic, but so be it. Time was short. So he wanted to see Takumi as much as humanly possible. So the hell what? It was Takumi's own fault for being so sexy.

Takumi suddenly put his hand to his jeans back pockets, as if looking for something. "Iketani-senpai? Is your car unlocked? I think my phone is in there."

"Yeah. I'll help you look for it." With that, the Speed Stars moved en masse toward the pale green S13 Silvia.

Keisuke resumed making small talk with his brother, and Kenta joined in whenever he thought it wouldn't annoy Ryousuke. No sound of approaching cars could be heard yet, and the late summer air was thick and heavy, even at night. Ryousuke was thankful he left his coat at home in favor of not changing from his polo shirt and khakis.

Though everything seemed per usual, Ryousuke knew he was distracted. The tighter jeans. The reflection of the green T-shirt in Takumi's eyes, making them appear almost green themselves. That beautiful face. That hot body. Ryousuke really needed to calm down. Was he really this type of person?

"Yo, Kenta," Keisuke commanded, the voice of his brother nearly startling him out of his reverie.

"What, Keisuke-san?"

"Uh, could you go get me another pack of cigs out of the FD?" Keisuke asked, tossing his quasi-protégé the keys.

"Sure," Kenta replied with a smile, but he knew he probably ought to take his time. Little errands like this usually meant that his idol wanted to discuss something with Ryousuke privately. 'Oh well,' he thought, 'at least Keisuke-san doesn't seem upset with Ryousuke-san anymore. That's good.'

"Thanks. And don't fucking _touch_ anything else!" Keisuke admonished, which earned him a quick look of disapproval from Ryousuke.

"Was that really necessary, Keisuke?"

"Yeah. It was, and I want to talk to you."

"Oh?" Ryousuke asked, letting his eyes wander back to where the Speed Stars seemed to be teasing Takumi over his spacey-ness for forgetting his phone. Takumi was actually smiling. Beautiful. But, he had to admit, it gave him pause to see him so comfortable with those people. Ryousuke wanted that for himself, among other things.

"Geez, Aniki," Keisuke whispered.

"What," Ryousuke replied blandly, barely having had the chance to banish his amorous thoughts before the otouto spoke.

"You're...staring at him you know," Keisuke whispered again, rolling his eyes. "And you were worried about _me_?"

"I'm _not_ staring," Ryousuke said, a little crossly.

"Whatever," Keisuke mumbled. "Just...stop _not_ staring because it's creeping me out. If you don't, I'll never be your wing-man again!" he hissed.

Ryousuke frowned. "You are not my 'wing-man'. You are my brother."

"Which means, 'built-in' wing-man," Keisuke replied with a clicking of his tongue. "You do realize you're going to owe me for this shit, don't you?"

The elder sighed. Once again, Keisuke didn't think he'd be dignified with a response. After a lengthy silence, Ryousuke replied quietly, "Yeah. I'll owe you one."

Keisuke was about to ask who this person who looked like his Aniki really was, and what aliens had abducted Takahashi Ryousuke, when his ears picked up the sound of approaching cars.

"Cars coming up!" Kenta shouted, getting the attention of the Speed Stars who were still busy making fun of each other across the lot.


	35. Chapter 35

Mount Akina, 9:46 PM Saturday.

Everyone turned to face the road, and Ryousuke calculated no fewer than six distinctly different engine noises. There were at least two Honda in the group, likely one of them was a EG6, Civic Type R. There was one that sounded like it could be an Evo, but that one didn't sound like it had been tuned for racing. Another one was probably an S series Silvia, maybe an S15. Not a 13. Maybe it was a highly tuned S14?

And then there was Keisuke's "favorite": one Nissan Skyline GTR. Early model, perhaps the 32 again, or maybe the vastly less popular 33. Not a 34, or if it was, it was poorly tuned. After hearing the melody of the R34 possessed by the God of Foot of the Purple Shadow, Ryousuke knew instantly this car was tuned by an amateur, probably its driver. Casting a glance at Keisuke and seeing the pissed-off expression the younger wore confirmed he'd correctly identified that one for sure.

And another one. The hum was throaty, even guttural to the ears. It could barely be called a hum at all; it was more like an old coal stove, something that could have sounded more at home belching thick black smoke from a factory during the American Industrial Age. That _had_ to be the sound of the Mustang, because it certainly was different than the sounds of domestic engines Ryousuke was used to hearing as though they were music not motors.

Sure enough, a ghastly colored foreign car approached the summit. It was kind of a cross between yellow and green, chartreuse really, with gaudy racing stripes of purple spanning the car's nose to its tail. There was a minimal spoiler on the back, but that was the only subtlety about the thing. There were flames painted on the back panels of the car in fuschia and more purple, and the car had a scoop on the hood that, though obviously necessary, Ryousuke assumed, given that the motor was probably a hot-running V8, was absolutely hideous. Even Keisuke, who loved the flashy, was a little put off, and that brought a little chuckle to Ryousuke's throat, and, thankfully, took his mind well out of the gutter it had been in since he drove up to Akina in the first place.

"Well, would ya look at that shit," Keisuke remarked as Kenta strode up to the group. "I'm...I..."

"Speechless?" Ryousuke finished his sentence for him.

"Y-yeah. I mean, I like a tight looking ride as much as the next guy, but _flames? Pink? Flames?"_

Ryousuke chuckled again, and, by this time, Takumi and the rest of the Speed Stars had rejoined them. Takumi looked absolutely astonished. Beautiful, but astonished.

"Ryousuke-san?" he queried nervously. "Is that a Mus-tang?"

"It is," Ryousuke affirmed in a low voice.

 _Did you intend for that to sound seductive?! Or, am I just going crazy?_

"You like that, Fujiwara?" Keisuke quipped. "All along we should have had pink flames on the hachi-roku! That would have looked so cute!"

Ryousuke rolled his eyes, but he laughed a little along with his brother.

"Who ever heard of a _Pink_ Panda?" Takumi responded dryly. "You'd have been dead before you finished painting it. And don't look at the Imp either unless you want my dad to kill us both."

Ryousuke smiled and laughed lightly, and not his usual half-smile, half-smirk thing he usually did. Thankfully, everyone else joined in the laugh and only Keisuke gave him a look that said plainly "Who the hell _are_ you?"

The visitors all stopped in the lot and alighted from their cars. Ryousuke had identified the models pretty accurately, and he was very pleased with himself. The other Honda was a EK9, and the Silvia was an S14 like Kenta's. The GTR appeared to be the 33. Ryousuke kind of felt sorry for the driver of that car, and he hoped the guy got a good deal on it. That car was really a piece of shit, Nissan's failed product in the line of GTRs in a miserably misguided quest to improve over the R32. Ryousuke thought that the model should be banned from the streets for good; no driver should have to suffer with the handling woes of that heavy piece of crap. No Mazda in the bunch, nor Subaru nor Toyota.

And, lest he forget, there was the Mustang. The assault on his vision told him that he'd not forget the comical sight of that "ita-sha", or "painful car" for many years to come. Unfortunately. He wondered if that kind of paint-job would be a common sight for him when he moved to the States. Maybe that was the custom over there for serious racers? Until this point, all the articles and forum boards he read online usually poked fun at people who had cars like that, calling them "ricers" not racers, in a sort of derogatory slight against fans of Japanese cars. In any case, people who had the most "tricked out", as they were called, cars seemed to have the most inferior drivers. At least, that was the conventional wisdom he'd observed in his endless trolling of racing boards in an effort to gain information on the scene overseas. "Real racers race with nothing but primer," he had read in a message from one of the people he'd struck an online friendship with who lived in Michigan and whose online screen-name had caught his eye. He made a mental note to try and take a discreet picture of the monstrosity with his phone to email to his friend "RX-7Steve". He ought to get a good laugh over it.

'Okay, boys,' Ryousuke thought toward his Aces, 'study hard.'

"Keisuke, Fujiwara," Ryousuke said in what he hoped was his Team Leader voice, "when they get going, we'll move to a good spot where we can overlook the pass. You know the one, right Keisuke?"

"Yeah," Keisuke said.

"You know too, don't you Fujiwara?" he said, mindful to keep his tone.

"Understood," came the response from Takumi, and his friends looked utterly amazed at the quick change in demeanor of the Aces. Ryousuke's Aces. The ones who would live the Dream.

The mirth they had over the paint-job of the Mustang was gone, having faded completely into the serious expressions of warriors going into battle. Ryousuke allowed himself to be awed by them all over again. Surely, this wouldn't be exciting for them, but it _was_ good training, even if the idea had come to him in a hasty plan to get to spend precious more time with Takumi. He really did owe Keisuke one, he supposed. Maybe he'd spring for the latest new cell phone model, or maybe he'd add that obnoxious 10 CD changer sound system to the FD after all. As long as it didn't weigh much, only his sensibilities had kept him from allowing Keisuke to install it in the first place. Seeing the tacky car before him, Ryousuke was almost ready to give Keisuke free reign over the appearance of the FD. Almost. Keisuke's taste had always been extravagant, but the FD looked like a conservative family wagon in comparison to the Mustang V8 Shelby now displayed before him, practically glowing under the illumination of the streetlights.

After a few moments in halted conversation with each other, the American and the driver of the GTR approached the group.

"Welcome," Iketani offered. "Nice to see you. Again," he added deliberately. Ryousuke actually liked his style. Even though the Speed Stars were friendly, and often playful and self-deprecating, Ryousuke was reminded of the very first meeting between them and the Red Suns that one summer ago. When it came down to it, Iketani assumed his role as leader beautifully, and Ryousuke could tell instantly that, though his skills might be mediocre, his passion for the togue was not. He assumed that Iketani was simply a true lover of the sport, and Ryousuke couldn't help but to have respect for that. Additionally, Takumi had told him that it was Iketani who had helped him to install the racing gauges and new tachometer into the hachi-roku when the engine had been replaced, and not even Matsumoto had to make any adjustments to the original installation.

The two probable opponents looked at each other, and the Japanese man spoke. "Yeah, I hope we're not interrupting some kind of party," he remarked.

"It's not a party," Iketani replied, "just a bunch of friends hanging out on a Saturday in Gunma. I know I introduced myself and my friend Kenji here the other day, but you didn't oblige us with your names, or the name of your team. Where did you say you guys were from again?" he asked coolly.

"Around," the Japanese man said cryptically. Ryousuke thought he heard a tiny little "tch" escape his brother. "The name's Morimoto Masato. This guy here is named O'Callaghan. We haven't picked a team name yet, so pardon the informality."

"No problem," Iketani replied. "Let's all be safe and have some good runs tonight, okay?" he offered.

The American named O'Callaghan looked a little wary. "Morimoto, ask...uh...these guys, uh..." he faltered in broken Japanese. Morimoto held up a hand signaling him to be quiet.

"I speak English," Ryousuke said, in Japanese, to Morimoto. "Do you?" he asked.

Morimoto narrowed his eyes. "Enough to tell him how to floor it."

"But, not enough to talk much. That's plain to see," Ryousuke remarked.

"Have at it, then, if you want. We usually just muddle through best we can," Morimoto said, but Ryousuke could tell he was acting rather suspiciously.

Ryousuke took the man up on his offer. "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. O'Callaghan. It seemed like you were needing to ask something before?" he said smoothly.

 _Wow. He really can speak English fluently._

There it was. Keisuke finally saw the flustered reaction that had been missing from Takumi all evening long. Takumi was amazed by Ryousuke, but Keisuke just whispered, "That's just like him, friggin' show-off," a whisper which earned him another frown of disapproval from his Aniki and a shy smile from Fujiwara. But Takumi was still impressed.

The American's face lit up. "Holy crap. Finally, I find someone I don't have to make cave-man noises to. God. Okay. I'm Dave. Not 'mister' anything," he added with a light laugh.

Ryousuke laughed a little too, having a similar aversion to being addressed as "Takahashi-san". "I'm Ryousuke," he offered, seeing the look of astonishment from his friends and his brother that he'd simply give a stranger his given name only. Ryousuke decided he needed to remind the group that Americans sometimes thought it was actually rude to be addressed only by their last names unless there was a "Mr." or a "Ms." in front of it, or a "Sir" or "Ma'am" depending on the region. He had accepted that, and it didn't phase him much really. He sighed. America was going to suck, but he had to admit it would be nice to be known only as Ryousuke for a while, and not as "Young Master Takahashi". "Tell me what's on your mind."

"I was going to ask about cops. I'm only here because my dad dragged me over here to collect his new wife, only to find out that lady had no intention of leaving this place, so I'm stuck. And I really, _really_ hate it here. I had to spend my life's savings bringing the car over, and I'm broke as hell because of that. So I really can't be getting arrested, since I haven't gotten my residency fully established. Do you understand that?"

"Yes. Clearly," the poor guy was speaking quickly, and telling him his whole recent life story as though he hadn't been able to talk to anyone in months. He was rambling in a way that made it clear to Ryousuke that he was miserable, and hadn't been able to say anything about it at all. Poor kid. Ryousuke wondered if he might feel the same way when he moved to Michigan for a while. He couldn't imagine going to the States to live without knowing English. It wasn't as though they taught Japanese as part of regular school curriculum over there, of that, Ryousuke was certain. "You won't have much to worry about here, the police tend to look the other way," Ryousuke assured the man, "As far as other courses, it depends where you go. I'm sorry to hear that your stay in Japan has been unpleasant so far. I hope it improves quickly."

A look of relief passed over the young man's face. Ryousuke figured him to be about Takumi's age. He had a lot of freckles, and kind of reddish hair. Kind of an Irish poster child, Ryousuke thought absently.

"Cool. Will you tell this guy I've been worried sick every place we've gone? Maybe he won't be such an impatient little prick!" he added strongly, gesturing with his thumb toward Morimoto, who looked like he wasn't amused.

"You sure you want me to call him that?" Ryousuke asked.

"Yeah. Go for it. He's in 'charge' only because my dad does construction work for his father's company. We're supposed to be...friendly," he added with a groan. "But," Dave added seriously, "as you can probably figure out, this baby's not exactly legally registered, so I really can't be getting thrown in jail."

"I wondered how you managed that," Ryousuke mused aloud.

"I kind of 'borrowed' the plates, if you get my meaning," he said with a wink.

"Indeed." Of course a car like that would get a ton of attention; no wonder the guy was nervous about cops. Likely, Dave O'Callaghan only brought out the car at night for one purpose only, and he probably kept it well hidden from view during the daytime. Wise.

Ryousuke thought Keisuke might actually get along with a guy like this, but likely, that wouldn't happen. The paint job pretty much sealed the deal for that. Although, he did see Keisuke eyeing, no _drooling_ , over the tattoos the American had on his arms, easily visible under the short sleeves of his t-shirt. He'd have to have a chat with Keisuke about the many disadvantages to marring one's body with ink a little later on. Tattooing was still largely frowned upon in Japan, along with, Ryousuke ruefully thought, things like having a male lover when one was male himself.

He quickly perished the thought. This was business.

"Okay, if you say so." Ryousuke translated, apologizing first for the words, and everyone had a shocked look on their faces when Ryousuke calmly called the opponent a "prick" at the request of the man's own teammate. Most notably displeased was Morimoto.

"Well, you tell that _Gaijin_ all he needs to do is put his foot on the damn accel and drive!"

Ryousuke was about to relay the message when the American stopped him. In Japanese, he told his teammate, "I know what 'gaijin' _means_ , konoyarou."

"He knows how to call him a bastard too," Keisuke said lightly with a laugh which elicited a toothy grin from the fair-skinned foreigner. Apparently, the young man had picked up plenty of slang at least.

"Anyway, Morimoto-san, O'Callaghan-san is worried about police. It seems his papers aren't yet in order. A prudent worry, don't you think?"

"Is that what he's been bitching about?" Morimoto asked, and Ryousuke nodded. "Tell him I know that. We're careful."

Ryousuke passed the message. O'Callaghan thanked him.

"Oh, and why don't you tell him who you guys are while you're at it," Morimoto added, "because don't think I don't _know_ ," he finished with disgust. To Iketani, he shouted, "What's the deal with them being here anyway?! That's pretty dirty, bringing out the wringers. I'm not a fucking idiot. I see the god-damn cars. These guys are _exactly_ who I think they are, aren't they?!"

Dave O'Callaghan shot his teammate a desperate stare, and then another one at Ryousuke. "Iketani," Ryousuke began, but stopped when the Speed Stars Leader held up his hand.

"I'll handle this, Ryousuke-san," he said quietly.

"Of course."

Iketani looked indignant. "If you're challenging for fastest on Akina, you are challenging the Speed Stars, and no one else," he said evenly. "There's no meaning to these guys being here, other than that we're..." his voice trailed off as he looked over the members of Project D.

"Friends," Ryousuke finished. "It's a public road. We can come and go as we please and, as Iketani has said, it has no other meaning."

Takumi and Keisuke looked at each other, and shared a moment of tacit agreement: there wasn't any aura around these guys at all. To emphasize the fact that they indeed had other plans, Keisuke told Kenta to go and wait for them at the observation point. Kenta complied instantly, because he didn't much care for this team of nobodies disrespecting Keisuke, but had learned by this point to hold his tongue.

"Hey," Dave O'Callaghan appealed to Ryousuke, "What are you all talking about?"

"Your teammate is opposed to us being here," Ryousuke replied.

"Why?"

Ryousuke looked at Iketani and Morimoto. "These two guys next to me are the drivers of my team. Project D," he explained to Dave.

Dave looked aghast. Then Ryousuke could see him quickly scan the parking area, and he caught sight of the yellow FD and then he apparently found the Itsuki's hachi-go which was parked alongside Iketani's S13 a short distance away, probably mistaking it for the hachi-roku. For apparent confirmation, he looked at Morimoto who gave him a curt nod. "Holy...Jesus. For real? You're _that_ Ryousuke? So that's _the_ RX-7 and _the_ Corolla?"

"You are partly correct; the Corolla isn't here tonight," Ryousuke said simply, not wanting to disclose anything about the hachi-roku either to these strangers or to anyone. He used the model name because he did know that Americans often referred to the cars by the name given to the model and not the chassis code. Somehow, calling the hachi-roku a "Corolla" seemed dreadfully inadequate, something suitable for a typical four-banger Grandma-car, which many stock Corolla models sold in the States actually were. At least the "Panda Trueno" name actually described the car well. He wondered what genius at Toyota's export division came up with such a lame name for a car.

"I've only been in this country for two months and I've gathered enough from _asshat_ here," he said, motioning again to his teammate, "and from the computer to know that you guys were _the_ street team in the whole country! Taking the place by storm then just recently calling it quits. It's poetic!"

"I'd like to think so. Define, 'asshat'," Ryousuke implored, amused that he might be able to give Keisuke a new colorful word to use.

Dave laughed. "Well, you know, a guy like _this_ ," he replied playfully. Ryousuke put the definition of the two words together, and came up with a ridiculous image of a person having a butt atop his head. A colloquialism in which meaning got lost in translation somewhere, he figured. Keisuke would love it.

"I'm so glad you two think this is funny," Morimoto interrupted. "I don't think I like the idea of the Speed Stars getting help from Project D, and especially not from Takahashi Ryousuke of all people."

Keisuke saw his brother narrow his eyes. 'Uh-oh. You're about to get a piece of his mind, dumbass.'

"Morimoto-san," Ryousuke began coolly, "once again, I should remind you that it is a public road. Anyone can be here, including us. My business here is with my drivers, and not with anyone else. In fact, our team has recently disbanded and we are winding things down officially soon so we are not a threat. I assure you, and Iketani will support me, that we have no intention of interfering in any challenges made between your team and the Speed Stars. Isn't that correct, Iketani?"

Iketani nodded. "What Ryousuke-san says is true. They're here for their own purposes, and that's all."

"How can I believe that when the downhill driver from Project D is from Akina togue? You really expect me to believe you won't bring out the hachi-roku to ensure the win? I know you've gotta be hiding it somewhere so we won't see it in advance of the battle!"

 _Eh?_

Takumi immediately stared at the leader of the other team before shooting a silent question to the senpai. There was no way Iketani would ask him this time, was there? He didn't have the hachi-roku anymore, and using the Imp would makes things just too easy; he didn't like the idea of actually _humiliating_ someone, and, in the Impreza, he knew he would. Iketani was getting better. He was. He could take this guy and his stupid GTR, couldn't he?

"I'm sorry," Ryousuke interrupted sternly, before Iketani could speak, "but, for the time being, Fujiwara Takumi is still associated with _my_ team. I will not authorize him to take on any outside challenges at the moment because we are currently entertaining offers from legitimate racing teams. The same goes for my brother, so you have my word that we have nothing to do with this."

"Hmpf," Morimoto muttered. "Fine then. Akina Speed Stars, we issue a challenge for a week from next Saturday night at ten. You better play it clean. No wringers," he spat, eyeing Takumi up and down in a way that Ryousuke, in particular, didn't like.

 _Why is he looking at me like that? Just drop it and don't get Ryousuke mad, you idiot! He told you I can't challenge you already! And we won't even be here then!_

"We accept your challenge," Iketani replied coolly. "And these guys have other plans that week, isn't that right, Takumi?"

"Yes."

 _Thank God._

"Hmpf," Morimoto repeated, walking closer to Takumi. Again, Ryousuke felt extremely displeased, and a pang of something unfamiliar came over him. He watched the man carefully.

"So you're the driver of the hachi-roku then," Morimoto declared.

"Yes," Takumi said quietly. Suddenly, Takumi had the feeling that the man was about to say something unpleasant to him. It was almost like he was being sized up as a person instead of as a driver.

 _Who does this guy think he is? Why is he looking at me like that?_

"You got a problem with it, buddy?" Keisuke asked, stepping to Takumi's side.

Ryousuke shot his brother a look that said 'Cool it.'

"Takahashi Keisuke, I presume, is it?"

"That's right," replied toughly, unable to resist taking someone who thought he was a hot-shot down a few pegs.

"Everyone knows about the two of you," Morimoto said, motioning to both Keisuke and Ryousuke. "I'm more interested in this one, if you don't mind."

 _Me? Why are you staring at me? You're pissing me off!_

"We do mind," Ryousuke calmly said, sensing that Keisuke was well on his way to getting hot under the collar, and, to his dismay, that Takumi wasn't far behind. Morimoto must have sensed it also, because he was almost leering at Takumi. Ryousuke really didn't like _that._

"Oh, so not only will you not authorize him to take on any outside challenges to help out his Akina buddies, but I can't look at him without the permission of the team leader, Takahashi-san?"

"You wouldn't be trying to disrespect my brother, would you?" Keisuke asked with a sneer.

"Keisuke," Ryousuke said flatly, as another warning.

"What, Aniki? You gonna let him talk smack to you?"

"I'm not talking smack," Morimoto cut in before Ryousuke could respond. "I just wanted to see the Akina legend up close and personal. This is an interesting turn of events after all."

"You've seen enough," Ryousuke flatly replied. "I don't like the tone you're using with me either. You do know that I have a ridiculous amount of contacts in several prefectures. I'd hate to see your team disbanded before you even chose a name for it for lack of a course to call your own."

 _Stop talking about me as if I'm not even here. Let me take care of myself._

"Ryousuke-san," Takumi began, but Ryousuke held up his hand.

"Isn't he just a kid, Takahashi? He's kind of young. You should know better," Morimoto said, with a "tsk tsk" of his tongue.

"I'm right _here_ , you know," Takumi said with an irritated tone before Ryousuke could open his mouth to speak. He cast a sideways glance to his friends who were motioning with their hands for him to calm down. But, Takumi didn't want to calm down.

Ryousuke frowned.

"You're very cute," Morimoto said plainly.

 _Cute?! Oh, hell no. You didn't just call me cute. Bastard._

Ryousuke was getting pissed off, and was about to say so when Takumi spoke.

"I'm not a kid," he said sternly, unable to shake the feeling of wanting to punch the guy's lights out where he stood. He involuntarily clenched his fist at his side. "And I'm definitely not _cute._ "

"Fujiwara," Ryousuke warned. Sure, he certainly didn't like Morimoto calling his lover cute, but what the hell was Takumi doing, clenching his fist like that?

 _I can't believe he said that in front of everyone! I'm going to handle you myself._

"You _are_ cute," Morimoto affirmed as he took a couple of steps back. "Things are starting to make a little more sense to me now. It was a nice coincidence that I got to see you and Takahashi Ryousuke both here at Akina. I'm actually very happy you're so adorable."

 _What the hell?_

"'The hell are you playing at, dumbass?" Keisuke spat.

" _Leave_ , Keisuke," Ryousuke said sternly. "You too, Fujiwara." To his utter dismay, neither of the Aces moved from where they stood.

"Don't disrespect our friends," Iketani responded, seeing Takumi's expression darken. "You'd better get back to your cars. I don't want any trouble here." Ryousuke was relieved that Iketani had spoken up because he certainly didn't expect a comment like that to be made, and he had to admit that it caught him off guard. But still, this was getting out of hand. He needed to order his own drivers back to their cars again too, since neither one of them seemed to have the sense to leave when told to do so.

"Your comments are inappropriate, Morimoto," Ryousuke said evenly.

"What part? The part about him being _young_ , or the part about him being _cute_? Both, maybe?"

Ryousuke studied Morimoto. Who was this guy? Was the guy serious? Or was he just talking trash? Ryousuke suddenly wasn't sure.

"Take your pick," Takumi snapped.

"You're bothering us," Keisuke added. "Why don't you waltz on back to that tank of a car you've got before I get serious about not liking you."

" _Keisuke_ ," Ryousuke admonished.

"I'm already serious about not liking him," Takumi said plainly, not seeing the astonished look his lover shot him. What was wrong with the both of them?

"You know, Takahashi," Morimoto continued, "I'm glad you've moved on, though, isn't he a little too feisty for you? He's not very compliant. You wouldn't be having trouble handling him, would you?"

 _Moved on? From what? Handling me?_

"And just what is that supposed to mean, Morimoto-san?" Ryousuke asked coolly.

"Aniki, don't even talk to this idiot anymore!" Keisuke shouted.

"Keisuke, I'm curious to know what he's talking about."

"I'm a student at Gundai too, you know," Morimoto offered.

"No, I didn't know," Ryousuke replied simply. "It's a fairly large University, so I don't think we've met."

"No, we haven't," Morimoto agreed. "But, let's just say we have a mutual acquaintance and leave it at that. I've seen all I need to see to go back to campus with a good mood," he added, taking another long look at Takumi which Ryousuke didn't appreciate.

"Good idea," Keisuke supplied. "Let's leave it at that and go, Aniki."

"No, Keisuke."

"Oh," Morimoto began with a little grin, "so you _are_ curious."

"Maybe," Ryousuke said. Why was he doing this? Why wasn't he walking away? But, he wanted to know what was going on, to understand it completely. If there was anything Ryousuke couldn't stand, it was not knowing everything about every scenario. If he couldn't learn the facts, how could he think of a plan to shut this guy down for good?

"Does the name 'Isao' ring any bells, Takahashi?"

Ryousuke inwardly shuddered. Fuck. The realization of just who this person probably was washed over him in a sickening wave. He had to be the "on again, off again" lover of Isao, who had been one of the men Ryousuke slept with from time to time until right before D set out on its first expedition. And it appeared he was able to put enough together to guess that Ryousuke was now sharing his bed with Takumi. This was bad. Very bad. "I'm not sure I know to whom you're referring," he lied.

"Ah. I'm not surprised you'd say that in front of everyone, but I think you know very well ' _to whom'_ I'm _'referring'_ ," Morimoto replied in a mocking use of Ryousuke's own words.

"Whatever you're implying," Ryousuke said hotly, "has nothing to do with anything. If you're here to race the Speed Stars, you have no reason to be talking to Fujiwara, or to me."

Morimoto chuckled. "I get it. So it really is like that, then. I'm happy to be able to tell Isao-kun not to be sitting around waiting for your phone calls anymore."

"Eh? What the hell is he talking about, Aniki?" Keisuke asked in an exasperated tone. He took the words right out of Takumi's mouth. Who is Isao? Another racer? Someone in Ryousuke's class? Takumi didn't know, but he could tell that Ryousuke was not expecting that name to come up. He could see a split second of surprise cross the elder's face upon its mention, and he knew Keisuke had to have seen it too. It actually looked as though Ryousuke was having a tough time keeping his cool, something that wasn't ever supposed to happen. Ever.

Silence reigned for a few desperately long seconds, and Keisuke could see that his brother was definitely pissed, and… uncomfortable? Keisuke saw his brother cross his arms; that wasn't an unusual thing. What made it so strange was the death grip he seemed to have on them, as though he was going to bruise himself with the pressure. It was probably too subtle a thing for anyone else to notice, but to Keisuke, this signified that Ryousuke was close to losing his temper, and that was never a good scenario.

"Nothing," Ryousuke finally responded. Keisuke saw him relax his grip a little, as if his elder brother finally succeeded in keeping something in check to his satisfaction.

"Aniki, calm down a little. We don't need to waste our energy on crap like this," Keisuke pleaded. The pressure was back as soon as it had left and Keisuke could sense that things were not going well. Even though the extent of Ryousuke's discomfort wouldn't be perceptible to anyone who didn't know him well, for Ryousuke, losing his cool even that much might as well have been a defeat by a car length on a mountain road.

"Yes, Takahashi. _Do_ calm down," Morimoto added with a smirk, waving to his team members to tell them to get into their cars which they quickly did aside from O'Callaghan, who stood there with a confused expression, obviously not understanding the entirety of the exchange due to the partial language barrier. Once Morimoto heard the sounds of engines starting up he spoke again; it appeared he didn't want his own team members to be included in the conversation, but apparently didn't notice or didn't care that the American didn't get the hint to return to his Mustang. Obviously the body language was enough to convey to the young foreigner that this was sort of an argument, and maybe, a precursor to a fight, so he stood by his teammate but appeared to be more angry with him than ready to defend him. "Does my mentioning him really piss you off that much? Well I guess you wouldn't want to think about ancient history in front of _him_ , I suppose," he remarked with another look at Takumi.

 _Don't keep looking at me!_

"Stop talking," Ryousuke said quietly. Morimoto was saying plenty more with his eyes as he glanced at Takumi, and Ryousuke wanted to beat the living crap out of him. It looked as though Morimoto was taking a lot of mental notes to report back to Isao, and it really pissed him off.

"Aniki..."

Keisuke was growing uneasy and concerned. He'd never seen his brother get so involved with a complete stranger's stupid baiting, someone who should have no reason to talk to him anyway. Who the hell was this "Isao" guy to Ryousuke anyway, and who was he that Morimoto was so angry at Ryousuke? Unless... 'Oh lord,' Keisuke thought, 'was that guy some kind of past boyfriend or something? Ah jeez...'

"Let's leave, Aniki," Keisuke tried again. If Morimoto continued to blab, then wouldn't Ryousuke's "dirty little secret" get out? What the hell was wrong with Ryousuke that he couldn't see that?

Ryousuke only ignored him, putting the laser focus of his anger solely on Morimoto, to the point that the man's teammates looked like they were about to piss themselves even as they sat in their cars, and O'Callaghan kept looking back and forth between Ryousuke and his own team leader, desperately trying to piece together the exchange with a mental translation. If what Keisuke thought was correct, he really needed to get Fujiwara out of there. Takumi wasn't stupid. Keisuke thought he probably would put two and two together for himself and would want Ryousuke to explain himself and the whole situation to him. Keisuke was sure Ryousuke wouldn't exactly want to talk to Fujiwara about some guy he fucked between study groups, or whatever he did with this guy they were talking about. But, on the other hand, didn't Fujiwara deserve to know some of the truth? It would be only natural you'd want to know things about the person you liked, right? Even he had told things to Kyouko about himself, and they weren't even dating.

"I'm telling you, it's nothing, Keisuke," Ryousuke said again with almost a flat affect to his words.

"That's right," Morimoto supplied, "It was always 'nothing' to you, wasn't it, Takahashi? I was always telling him that, you know, and it always pissed me off that part of him didn't want to believe that. Now I can tell him for sure that you are," he paused, glancing again at Takumi, "otherwise engaged."

"Aniki?" Keisuke asked, putting a firm hand on his brother's shoulder. "Who is this guy to you really?"

"No one," Ryousuke replied in a pissed off tone, shaking off his brother's hand.

Morimoto laughed. "You really are the piece of work I always thought you'd be, Takahashi Ryousuke."

"Think what you want," Ryousuke replied flippantly, his words the mirror of something he had said to Isao the last time they had seen each other, the time when Ryousuke had made his decision to leave his affairs with men behind for good. That had been a dangerous night, a night when Ryousuke had lost his control enough to nearly utter Takumi's name as he, without much shame, hooked up with Isao in an effort to get inappropriate thoughts of Takumi out of his mind. Isao had figured out that Ryousuke wasn't himself, and Ryousuke had said the very same words to him dismissively in an effort to regain control of the situation. He had failed then, and one look at his new lover told him he was dangerously close to failing again. If even Takumi could tell that Morimoto was looking at him _that_ way, this would definitely threaten the delicate balance of their relationship. He had to...

Wait. Stop.

He wasn't in a _relationship_ with Takumi, was he? Ryousuke didn't do relationships. This was something else; something that was supposed to be as fleeting as it would be hopefully enjoyable. It was supposed to end anyway; Takumi was free to do as he wished once the year was out. Takumi would surely find another nice girl to keep him satisfied.

Why did it bother him so much to think about that? And why was it bothering him so much to have another man even look at him? Was this happening because Ryousuke had allowed himself to mentally admit that he loved him?

 _Why is this guy trying to make Ryousuke so upset? Who is Isao? What's ancient history? I don't know anything about Ryousuke and I don't like that at all! It's almost like he's checking me out or something. Is he?! If he is, then my friends will know for sure about everything! I really didn't want that to happen!_

The Speed Stars were trying to shrink back from the conversation, but Itsuki went to his friend's side to try and calm Takumi down a little. Kenji thought that the more Takumi hung out with the Takahashi brothers, the more his life was starting to resemble a television drama. Did crap like this actually happen to people? If he hadn't been witnessing it along with Iketani, he would never have believed it. One look at his friend told him that Iketani was in definite agreement, and poor Itsuki was at a complete loss.

"Ryousuke-san," Takumi boldly asserted. "I'm not going to let him be rude to you like that. Sorry."

"Be _quiet_ , Fujiwara. I'm handling this."

 _He's mad. Shit. But I'm mad too! I can't let him say stuff like that, calling me cute and feisty and crap. I'm pretty sure now that this guy knows what's going on between me and Ryousuke. I don't know how he could, but he figured it out and he knows something I don't about Ryousuke. It's pissing me off!_

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Takumi hissed to Morimoto, ignoring his team leader's orders.

"Don't get the wrong idea, Fujiwara-kun. I'm glad that you're around to keep Takahashi busy."

 _Does that mean what I think it means?! Why are you saying things like this out loud?!_

"You shouldn't be disrespecting Ryousuke-san," Takumi seethed. "Especially in front of us," he added, motioning to Keisuke who suddenly looked as though he didn't really want to be involved.

"Fujiwara," Ryousuke repeated his warning. "You will let it _go_."

 _Why?! I don't want him even joking around about this! You shouldn't either, you know._

"I'm not letting it go, Ryousuke-san. If this guy has a personal problem with me, I'll solve it for him."

Keisuke could feel the tension building around his rival, and also around his brother. But Ryousuke seemed to be involving himself in this more than he usually would. Normally, he'd just walk away from an idiot like this. If anything, the fact that Ryousuke kept giving this guy his two cents was only making Fujiwara even more angry, and it made it obvious that this particular turn in the conversation was approaching a touchy subject. What the hell was wrong with his brother? "I gotta say, Aniki, I have to agree with Fujiwara here in this case-"

"You stay out of it!" Ryousuke snapped, cutting off his brother.

"How about you both stay out of it," Takumi said quietly. "If this person has an issue with me personally, it has nothing to do with either of you, or Project D."

"Fujiwara, while we still known as a team, it has _everything_ to do with all three of us." To Ryousuke's chagrin, he only got a scowl in response.

 _It's only about D because you two showed up!_

"Better watch out, Fujiwara-kun," Morimoto said with a little chuckle. "Probably not good to get your sponsor mad at you, because everyone knows that Project D was the _property_ of the Great Takahashi Ryousuke. Which means, he owns ya, doesn't he? He's like that, you know. Likes to keep his options open. He'll replace you quickly once he tires of you."

"Shut the hell up," Takumi seethed in a hot whisper, but the words hurt. Takumi knew for sure now that this guy was not only talking about driving, and it was embarrassing. What kind of situation did Ryousuke have with this person? Why was he keeping this going?

The Speed Stars were astonished to hear the exchange, and they all made a move to go to Takumi's side, but the look they received from Takumi stopped them in their tracks.

 _He doesn't own me. Replace me? He's definitely not talking about driving or the team! My friends even picked up on it! Dear God, he knows I slept with Ryousuke, somehow, he knows! Who is this guy?! Shit!_

"You need to stop talking shit about my brother and my teammate right now, dumbass," Keisuke commented hotly. "Or I'll teach you a lesson you'll never forget!"

"Wow," Morimoto replied calmly, shaking off O'Callaghan who was trying to pull him back. "You're both scary, the Project D Aces. In different ways, of course."

"Keisuke, shut up," Ryousuke demanded.

"Aniki-" Keisuke tried to protest because he wanted to tell this guy to go fuck himself as much as did Fujiwara, but he knew it would be in vain. He saw "the look" and he knew he had to shut up, and that he wouldn't be teaching any lessons to this idiot tonight.

"Both of you get in your cars and go. It's an order from your _team leader,_ " Ryousuke retorted, emphasizing that this was not a request from him as Takumi's lover, but as the person in charge of D.

"Come on, Fujiwara," Keisuke whispered into his ear, "let Ryousuke handle this one, okay?"

 _You too? I'm not a damn girl! Since when am I some chick who can't fight? Especially know that he's definitely talking about something other than cars! He knows about Ryousuke! About me!_

Keisuke got a wicked glare from Fujiwara, but then Takumi frowned at his brother. However, one look at Ryousuke told Keisuke in no uncertain terms that they'd better start moving. "Let's go. He's already royally pissed."

"That's the most intelligent thing I've heard from you two all night," Ryousuke remarked sarcastically. He took a breath. He could still smooth things over and take his leave quietly if he did it now. He softened his tone a little. "Get going. Don't worry, Fujiwara, I'll clean up here."

 _Huh? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I don't need you to take care of me like I'm some girl! He knows and I can't do anything about that. But I don't want you protecting me when I can protect myself and I can protect you too, Ryousuke! You have way more to lose than I do! Why don't you get it and just shut the hell up?!_

To Ryousuke's utter dismay, however, Keisuke shot him a look that said plainly that he did not like what he had just said. The Aces seemed to have no intention of doing what they were told to do, and it pissed him off all over again. Wasn't he in charge here?

Takumi glanced at Ryousuke's expression which seemed to ask "Why aren't you two _moving_?" with a glare that could freeze hell. He didn't think Ryousuke should be stepping in to shield him from whatever this was. It wasn't like he was a goddamn girl-baby who needed her boyfriend to fight for her, or like some kid. No.

 _I can handle myself, you know. You're treating me like a kid! You don't treat me like a kid when you're in bed with me, do you?! I decided for myself that I wanted you, and I know it has to be secret and yet you're making it so that people know when I didn't want anyone to know! I thought you didn't want anyone to know! I don't understand!_

"No!" Takumi asserted firmly, and Keisuke thought that he might fall over. He had been ready to go back to the FD but he stopped short. He turned to his brother and he felt himself cringe a little when the icy stare Ryousuke gave to him appeared as though it could freeze the very blood in his veins, and it looked like Ryousuke was almost beside himself with shock and anger that Fujiwara would stand up to him like that. For his part, Keisuke was stunned by it too, and he was literally frozen in place, not sure if he'd be able to drag the Downhiller away if he even tried. That temper of his was definitely not something to fuck around with; Keisuke had seen it before, and this was way worse than that.

"That's _enough_ ," Ryousuke declared to his lover. He didn't want to, but this was getting beyond personal. For now, Takumi was supposed to be _his,_ damn it all. He didn't want another man to look at him they way Morimoto was purposely looking at him, not to mention the things he said...'Shit.'

He also didn't like Takumi talking back instead of walking away gracefully. "Fujiwara, Keisuke, get to your cars and meet me at the observation point, and don't make repeat myself _again_."

 _What?! No! I need to make sure this guy doesn't start rumors about either one of us!_

" _Now!"_ Ryousuke shouted to his Aces when they didn't move. This was unacceptable. How could Keisuke and Takumi continue to defy him like this?

This was an unprecedented disaster. He mentally cursed Isao for telling Morimoto about him, to the point where Morimoto knew his name and that they had sort of a "friends with benefits" arrangement. He wasn't supposed to be doing that. It sure looked like he might have been the subject of more than one fight between them too. Fucking great.

Did Isao not know that Morimoto was a racer and that just his name alone might be recognized by another Gunma area driver? That, though the chances were very slim that they'd be traveling in the same circles with racing, it would still be possible that one day they would run into each other?

He cursed himself too, because what Morimoto said was painfully true. He _did_ always keep his options open. He never committed to any one person; that had become sort of a sticking point between himself and Isao at times during their involvement and Ryousuke had to put a stop to that at the time. He didn't want a relationship, so he let it cool off and saw someone else. When Isao wasn't available when he needed him to be, Ryousuke simply called the other. In any event, he needed to get rid of Morimoto quickly, especially since he knew for sure that he wasn't imagining the insinuations Morimoto had made regarding Takumi. If Morimoto had gotten even an iota more specific, Takumi might have lost it. He was still dangerously close, and it looked like Takumi had figured it out now anyway. This was bad. Really bad. Why wasn't Takumi just leaving? Why wouldn't he let him handle this for him? He could lie his way out of it, do some damage control, and no one would ever believe Morimoto over him.

But, shockingly, for the first time when it concerned an intimate partner, he didn't want to lie about this and deny it. Part of him wanted the whole damn world to know that he had claimed this precious person as _his_. Dear God, things with that dangerous downhiller were causing him to have these unprecedented thoughts, these ridiculous feelings of jealousy and desire and recklessness. Why couldn't he just shut his mouth and walk back to the FC and forget he ever laid eyes on this fucking asshole?

No. There had to be a way to talk them down from this. Nothing overt was said, the guy didn't outright say that he knew that Takumi was his lover. The insinuation was clear enough to everyone present though, and there was no way Ryousuke could ignore that now. Takumi might be embarrassed too; these were his friends, the people with whom he was most comfortable. After all, Ryousuke himself didn't believe Takumi was the same as him for one fucking second. He was sure that Takumi wasn't going to broadcast their intimacy to his friends, but now it had pretty much been said anyway.

He also didn't want to lose Takumi again because of his own past indiscretions. Fine then.

If Morimoto was expecting him to play the role of the selfish prick, he'd play it. He was good at that anyway. If Morimoto was satisfied that he was a complete dick, he'd leave wouldn't he? Ryousuke took the chance. Maybe then his Aces would get it into their thick heads that they needed to get the hell moving.

The elder Takahashi had now left the world behind save for the man he had in the crosshairs of his anger. Keisuke had seen that look more than enough to know that it was definitely the worst possible scenario for whomever the unlucky bastard on the receiving end happened to be. He should know, having been the recipient of that same look on plenty of occasions. This guy sure deserved it though for basically leering at Fujiwara like he was some hot piece of ass that he himself wouldn't mind tapping. Ack. What a thought! Was Fujiwara emitting some kind of "come fuck me" pheromone that got smart Gundai guys all hot for him or something?! What _was_ it about this weirdo?!

"If Morimoto-san here wants to tell the group at large about what an asshole I am," Ryousuke continued curtly, "he can do as he pleases because it's no secret. But that is separate from the reason you're here. You're here to drive, are you not?"

"Yeah," Morimoto agreed. "But, since I'm here and you're here, I couldn't pass up the chance to confront you in person. I've had a lot to put up with because of you, and you should take responsibility for it."

"I take no responsibility for the fact that someone else interpreted the situation differently from what was _clearly_ explained to him. I'm sure you understand my meaning, don't you?" Ryousuke said coldly.

"You really don't think you've done anything wrong, do you, Takahashi?"

"That should be as you expect, isn't that right?"

Morimoto chuckled a little. "Yeah, it's exactly as I expected. Asshole."

"That's it," Takumi growled but he was immediately stopped from raising his hand by a very painful grip to his forearm. He looked up and saw Ryousuke give him a look that told him to shut the hell up and stay still. But Takumi didn't want to shut up. God, Ryousuke was a _lot_ stronger than he looked. A whole hell of a lot; Takumi thought his forearm might just break off right then and there. Was this part of the real Ryousuke? Did this guy Morimoto know the _real_ Ryousuke? If so, how exactly were they connected?

"Ryousuke!" Takumi shouted desperately, shaking loose with strength of his own, not even realizing he dropped the "-san" from his lover's name. "Tell me what the hell is going on with you and him right now!"

Takumi saw the utterly flabbergasted look Ryousuke gave him, and it quickly shifted to a look of irritation that Takumi never wanted to see cast in his direction. "Fujiwara," Ryousuke seethed quietly, "you are testing my patience. Do...you...understand?"

Takumi scowled, and stood his ground, even though he knew Ryousuke was extremely displeased.

 _You're testing mine! Tell me what the hell is going on because I'm not leaving until I know!_

"Mmm, Takahashi," Morimoto continued to bait Ryousuke even as the rest of his team aside from the Mustang driver had moved their vehicles off to the Akina starting point to prepare for the descent. He dared to step closer to the elder Takahashi but not so close that the remaining group wouldn't be able to hear. "Now I really see his appeal. Complete package," he said softly, but not too softly, "Fantastic driving, a hot temper, and, well, the boy has plenty of 'attributes', doesn't he?" he added with another sweeping of his eyes over Takumi.

"What the hell did you just say?" Takumi spat, blushing because he thought he might know exactly what the guy meant by "attributes". Was this guy some jilted lover of Ryousuke's? Takumi didn't think so, but he didn't know.

 _I don't know anything damn it!_

"Don't _look_ at him," Ryousuke snapped icily to Morimoto, gripping Fujiwara's arm again when Takumi tried to step forward once more.

"Aniki," Keisuke commented sternly, "Let Fujiwara handle himself for God's sake. If he wants to punch the guy, fucking let him!"

"Absolutely _not!_ " he retorted to Keisuke. Turning once again to the offender he spat, "And you, Morimoto, will not even _think_ about touching him. If I catch you even _looking_ at him like that one more time-"

"Ryousuke, shut the hell up!" Takumi yelled. Immediately, his senpai grabbed him under the arms, sternly admonishing him to calm down.

 _Oh shit! Does he know what the hell he just said?! He pretty much just admitted everything! That's too dangerous for you, Ryousuke!_

Ryousuke reacted as though he'd been slapped. What was he doing? How could he make such a huge blunder?! He'd just practically _announced_ that he and Fujiwara were together in front of Takumi's friends. Keisuke's jaw looked like it was about to scrape the pavement, and Takumi looked as though he was about to either implode or explode in extremely large fashion. Where had this insane jealousy come from? Was Takahashi Ryousuke actually threatened by some other man even _looking_ at Takumi? He took a deep breath, and tried to reign it in.

"I'm not gonna touch him, Takahashi, don't worry your pretty little head about it," Morimoto said quietly with a little laugh.

Ryousuke stared hard at the little prick in front of him. Isao really ought to have had better taste than this. Fuck. Why the hell couldn't he get it together? He forced himself to calm down. This was so unlike him, it was terrifying. He fucked up. Big.

Calm down.

He took another calming breath. Okay.

"We've gotten too carried away here. I apologize. If you have a personal matter that you wish to discuss with me, perhaps we could meet by the campus and settle it properly," Ryousuke offered coolly, ignoring Morimoto's statement and the anger flashing across Takumi's beautiful face. He saw that Keisuke was having a really hard time restraining himself, but he remained quiet. Thank God, because it felt sickening to utter an apology to this guy. This was way too public. It needed to end. Now.

Finally, the Speed Stars had managed to keep Takumi under control. God, Ryousuke felt like an idiot. He'd pretty much outed both himself and Takumi in front of the guy's best friends, when no one was supposed to know about them. Where was his Father's fucking damage control when he needed it anyway?

Damn. Damn. Damn.

"Keisuke, Fujiwara. We're leaving." Ryousuke was about to turn away and herd his drivers back to the cars when Morimoto just _had_ to open his trap again.

"Hah! I'm not the one who you should settle things properly with, and you know it!" Morimoto threw at his retreating back.

That did it.

"I settled it with him months ago and _he_ should know _that._ " Ryousuke could hear the sound of his own voice and he saw the look of disbelief cross his brother's face that he was continuing to act so recklessly. Where the hell was his self-control? It had been irrevocably compromised ever since Takumi kissed him in the car that night, ever since he'd had that gorgeous body with his own, ever since he decided it was okay to allow himself to love him. He wanted not only to love him, but he wanted to _possess_ him. Since when did he think he had the right to that?

Ryousuke knew he didn't have the right. He knew it intellectually, but that apparently wasn't enough to keep him from wanting to put Takumi out of the sight of anyone else but him.

"Don't call Isao ever again," Morimoto warned. With another measured look toward Takumi he added, "Have fun playing with your new toy, asshole."

 _This is bad! God Ryousuke you...idiot! My friends will know for sure with him saying that stuff! There's only one thing I can do. I have to do it. I don't want to, but..._

"Nobody owns me," Takumi said quietly to Morimoto. "I do whatever the hell I want."

"Sure you do."

Takumi turned his attention to Ryousuke, and Ryousuke could feel the searing heat of his anger. Takumi's look was downright murderous, and his friends were trying to lead him away but he shrugged them off wordlessly one by one. "You don't own me," he said simply, "our relationship is Team Leader and Driver _only_ , isn't it?"

"Fujiwara-"

 _Just deny it like you're supposed to! This guy means nothing to me and I don't care what he means to you!_

" _Isn't it?!"_ Takumi shouted.

Ryousuke stared wide-eyed at his lover, and the fury in his eyes seemed to also have a layer of desperate anguish in them. He was trying to save the situation, even though Ryousuke knew that he'd already done more damage than could be fixed, right? Could the huge slip-up he made really be erased so easily?

Takumi's answer was simple. So simple. Deny it. Nothing was supposed to have changed. Why was it so damn hard to deny it when that was obviously the best and only option? Why didn't he do that moments ago? Why did it seem so easy for Takumi to do, and so hard for him to do himself? What the hell was wrong with him?

He fucked up. No denying it, and no fixing it. Takumi was not only angry, he was _embarrassed_ by everything that had just been said by Morimoto and, especially, by Ryousuke himself. _._

Mortified in front of his friends and this complete stranger because Ryousuke lost his control and slept with him. If he'd never wanted him, if he'd never desired to touch him, if he'd only just dated one of those "nice young girls" Mother knew instead, none of this would have ever happened.

'Damn. I've really done it.'

Takumi _needed_ him to deny it, despite the fact that it probably wouldn't matter. It was the only option now if he wanted to keep Takumi by his side. It terrified him to think that he might have just sabotaged all the wonderful things that had happened the day before. He'd do it, and ignore the involuntary tightening that was starting to grip his chest.

"Yes. That's the extent of our relationship," Ryousuke said evenly.

"I hope that's crystal clear for _everyone_ ," Takumi affirmed for the benefit of his friends and for the two strangers as well.

 _I'm sorry, Ryousuke. But I had to do it. I had to fix this. We need to keep this quiet, don't we? And you're messing that up!_

"Whatever you say, Fujiwara-kun," Morimoto offered with a chuckle. "Nice job, Takahashi. Told you he was too young. Heh."

Ryousuke could only frown in response, his anger bubbling under the surface like molten magma as Morimoto walked back to his GTR and got in and started it up, peeling away to slide the car in the first position in front of his waiting teammates at the starting line. He stared at the license plate, and memorized it. With that and the man's name, he could be found at school. He could be deterred from talking. He could call Isao and lay into him for talking in the first place. Unfortunately, he couldn't tell Takumi that until they were alone. Shit.

 _Crap. It didn't work; he's still talking shit! Damn it, Ryousuke. Now all my friends...they know I...they know that you and I are..._

"Come here, Fujiwara," Keisuke said quietly, absolutely stunned at seeing his brother have the fuck up of the century right in front of him, his friggin' boyfriend...in front of _some complete stranger._ He went over to Takumi's side when his rival didn't move. Takumi just stood, and he had an eerie calm about him now, and that was almost more scary. Ryousuke should have just bought a damn billboard saying "I'm Fucking My Downhill Ace"; it was like the guy was in shock. "There's no point to us sticking around now," Keisuke said in an almost gentle tone. Then, in a voice raised a bit more to make sure Ryousuke heard it, "Because I guess only the Leader is allowed to act fucking stupid."


	36. Chapter 36

Akina Summit, 10:41 PM Saturday

Keisuke could feel the glare he received from his brother on his back as he turned away. But someone had to take the fall so that Ryousuke could see he blew it, so it might as well be him. He somehow managed to get Fujiwara to walk with a nudge to his elbow and some help from his crazy little best friend who seemed to be struck dumb with what had just occurred.

They got back to the Impreza and Keisuke opened the door to the driver's side so the still quiet Takumi could get in.

"Wait, Keisuke-san," the kid named Itsuki said quickly before he could close the door.

"What is it?" Keisuke asked carefully, noting for himself that the downhiller was way out of it.

"I'm not letting him drive until I know he's not going to do something crazy," Itsuki declared, earning another death glare from Fujiwara.

"I'm fine, Itsuki," Fujiwara mumbled. "Just go."

"See that? He's all right," Keisuke added.

Itsuki shook his head. "Takumi, please. I don't really know what just happened over there, but don't drive angry. Okay?"

"I'm fine," Takumi repeated flatly.

"No, you're not. Why don't you sit here for a while and cool off before you go, okay? I'll sit here with you. You want a coffee?" Itsuki pressed, and Keisuke could clearly see the guy was worried. Keisuke studied Fujiwara again, and this time he noticed that Fujiwara was gripping the wheel so tightly his knuckles were stark white.

"Maybe your buddy's right, Fujiwara. Just chill then go home. I'll deal with Aniki."

Takumi was still for another minute, and Itsuki was about ready to plead with him to relax again when the Downhill Ace suddenly made a fist and caught himself just before the steering wheel received the punch of a lifetime.

"Hey, Fujiwara...," Keisuke said with a hint of alarm coloring his voice.

 _I know. I know._

"I'm okay. Really. I won't do anything stupid," Takumi answered in a low tone. He forced himself to take a deep breath.

Itsuki leaned in and put his head close to his friend. "Look me in the eye when you say that."

Takumi turned, and it did seem to Keisuke that the normally hyper Itsuki had a calming effect on his rival. No wonder these apparent opposites were friends, because it certainly appeared that Itsuki could handle Fujiwara better than anyone else, Ryousuke included. "I'm fine. I'll call you tomorrow. And you guys better beat their asses."

Itsuki seemed to be satisfied. He turned to Keisuke, who looked somewhat surprised to hear Takumi charge his friend with beating the opponents asses. "You'll follow him, won't you Keisuke-san?" Itsuki asked.

"Yeah," he replied. "Fujiwara, I'll follow you home."

"No. I'm not going home until I get a straight answer from him about what the heck happened tonight. I'm heading to the observation point. If you don't want to be there, that's okay."

"Of course I don't want to be there, but I don't dare go home until I know he's all right too. He is my brother, even though he just made a huge mistake."

"Whatever."

Takumi turned the ignition and that was a signal to Keisuke that he'd better hurry up too. He looked back to where Ryousuke was standing by himself, pulling out his cell phone and making a phone call. What the hell was he doing, standing there looking like nothing had happened? Bastard. The other Speed Stars had gone off to their own cars, and the team led by Morimoto seemed to be succeeding in getting themselves out of there too. A chorus of engines revved up and the Speed Stars' opponents left.

"Don't chase them, Takumi," Itsuki warned when Keisuke was out of earshot.

"I won't."

Seeing that Keisuke had closed the door to his own car, Itsuki leaned over again. "Don't worry about the senpai. They don't care. And it looked as though that American guy didn't really understand what that guy was saying to Ryousuke-san. I don't think you have to worry."

 _Of course I have to worry. He's the one who has more to lose. What if it all ends now because of this?_

"Yeah. I'm going."

With that, Takumi started to drive off, and Keisuke followed him. True to his word, Fujiwara didn't give chase to the cars ahead, and Keisuke could tell that he was forcing himself to pull back. A lot. It was as though the Impreza was begging for the throttle to be opened, but Fujiwara wasn't letting it. They were about halfway down the course; Fujiwara signaled the turn into the scenic overlook and stopped the car. Keisuke pulled up beside him and got out when Fujiwara emerged from the Imp.

Kenta came running up to them. "What took you guys so long?" he demanded to know. "I tried calling you, Keisuke-san, but you didn't pick up. What gives? Where's Ryousuke-san?"

Keisuke did not want to deal with Kenta right now, he'd even forgotten he had sent the S14 driver on ahead to wait for them. "I'm sorry, man, but we probably won't be doing much tonight after all."

"Huh?"

"Just go on back, Kenta. I'll call you tomorrow."

Kenta looked at Fujiwara. "Something happened up there?"

"Nothing you need to know about, I'm sorry. It's got nothing to do with you."

"But Keisuke-san..."

"I'll make it up to you, Kenta. Only not tonight because my brain's full already, okay?"

Kenta shot one more look toward Fujiwara before nodding and dejectedly getting inside his car for the drive back.

When Kenta's Silvia was out of earshot, Keisuke lit a cigarette, and watched Fujiwara. He hadn't said a word, and the sound of nothing but chirping cicadas and of engines disappearing down the pass was driving Keisuke crazy.

"You know, Fujiwara," he began cautiously, "Aniki didn't intend to do what he did. It seemed like he just kinda lost it with that guy, not usual for him, but it happens sometimes."

Fujiwara gave him a skeptical look.

"Okay, okay. He blew it. But, I'm sure he knows it. He's probably freaking out right now more than anyone, and he's probably pissed as hell with himself."

Fujiwara said nothing, but he kicked the dirt with his sneaker.

Keisuke sighed. "That's not to say that he probably won't try to hide it by being pissed at us first, though. He'll probably show up here all high and mighty, yelling at us for not leaving when he said to leave."

Fujiwara looked away. God, he was so irritating! Was he even listening?

"You know," Keisuke tried again, "he's not really used to fucking up. His, like, big mission in life is to be perfect in everything. It's rare for him to make mistakes, and if he does, he usually can fix them before anyone ever knows he made them in the first place. He's probably trying to calculate the odds of anyone repeating what they heard tonight, and how to shut them up before they talk. That's what he does; he handles things. He steps in out of habit, takes charge of things, and does it his way. Anyone who disagrees with him gets lectured about the merits of _his_ plans over theirs until New Year's. That's just how he is."

Fujiwara was as responsive as a brick, but it seemed like he was listening now.

"Anyway," Keisuke went on, "he's been like that his whole life, you know. He just can't help himself. He always had to clean up my messes; our parents dumped me on him when I was at my _worst,_ when they had pretty much written me off as a good-for-nothing future Yakuza member. I don't even want to know how many times he cleaned up my puke when I came home drunk or strung out, and all I did was treat him like shit in return. But Aniki put up with my shit, and he fixed it. Sure, he'd complain a lot back then, but he never stopped caring about me. He used to do things that embarrassed the hell out of me, that pissed me the hell off. But, in the end, if he hadn't been there, I'd never be here with this car, talking to someone like you."

"You expect me to just forget that him talking to that guy pretty much made everyone know what kind of...thing I have with him? No one is supposed to know about that." Takumi responded quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"No. That's not what I mean, Fujiwara. I'm just telling you he's not good at making an ass out of himself, because it pretty much never happens. I'm telling you he's freaking out right now, and I'm sure that the last thing he wanted was to embarrass you. That's all. Believe me, I'm not letting him off the hook. I didn't even want to come here in the first place tonight."

 _Huh?_

"You didn't?" Takumi whispered.

"Nope," Keisuke affirmed simply, and took another drag of his cigarette.

"But we were supposed to be 'training', right?"

Keisuke chuckled. "God, you're dense."

Takumi made a disapproving face and looked away again. "You're not the first person to tell me that, Keisuke-san. But I'm not stupid, so I know something very different was going on up there between Ryousuke and that guy. I don't totally know what it all means, but that guy had some kind of problem with me or something. I don't like running away from a fight, even if it means I get in trouble. It makes me look like a girl."

 _Shut up! Why am I telling Keisuke-san this crap?! It has nothing to do with him!_

Keisuke laughed a little. "Oh, I'm pretty sure you weren't the 'girl' up there."

"Huh?"

Keisuke shook his head. "Never mind. What I mean is, I thought you had the right to re-arrange that guy's face. Some shithead who tries to tell me how 'adorable' I am would have been schooled all the way to next week."

"You still tried to drag me off though, Keisuke-san. I didn't need for you to do that," Takumi pointed out curtly.

Keisuke stubbed out his cigarette with his shoe. "Look, Fujiwara. The only reason I did that was because you still have no clue what a complete bastard Ryousuke is. He gets mad at you, and you feel like shit. It doesn't matter even if the whole thing is his fault, you still feel like shit. I know that better than anyone, and it totally sucks. He shouldn't be mad at you, but he will be anyway, and that's not fair, so I figured we should get out of there while the getting was good. Okay?"

Takumi considered. "I don't know Ryousuke very well."

Keisuke felt a little surprised that the teenager would say such a thing, and he couldn't help but to feel the ensuing relief it brought. Keisuke really did still know his brother best, and Fujiwara still had a lot to learn. Sure, it was not the greatest feeling to know that the kid standing next to him had been in his brother's bed, but it wasn't all that horrible either. Fujiwara was still the same old Fujiwara the weirdo, his _friend_.

His brother, however, had turned into some kind of idiot.

"I don't think anyone knows Aniki better than I do, except maybe the Old Man. And that's debatable in my opinion. You know him well enough just to call him 'Ryousuke' though."

 _Crap._

"Uh, well," Takumi stammered, his face heating.

"Relax, already. Sheesh. I didn't mean to get personal, I'm just making an observation. Very few people call him by just his name, you know, other than family. And Fumihiro, who's known him, well, since forever, and Sudou, for whatever reason since they go back a ways too, even if they don't really like each other too much. That's saying something right there. It sure says a lot to me," he grumbled.

"What does it say, Keisuke-san?"

Keisuke was thoughtful. "That he thinks of you as close to him. He's not the type to allow that sort of thing usually. Maybe he wants to take himself away from his real life when he's with you; I don't have the slightest idea what goes on in that brain of his most of the time."

"His real life..."

"Yeah. The one where he's supposed to be perfect. Maybe he's finally tired of being fake-perfect."

"Fake-perfect," Takumi repeated. "I don't think he's perfect at all."

"Now there's a statement," Keisuke replied. "Just don't call him 'bocchama' to his face. He hates that shit."

"Because he knows he's not perfect."

"Probably. And it probably kills him that he isn't."

Takumi was silent again for a minute before his phone made a buzzing noise in the pocket of his jeans. He pulled it out and opened it. "It's him," he declared, reading the text, "asking me if I went home."

"You better answer him."

Takumi didn't move.

Keisuke sighed. "Look, if you want to split before he shows up, I don't really blame you. I'll tell him you were still pissed off. He'll probably believe it too; you showed a little of your temper up there, and I think it surprised him, to put it nicely. Quite a feat, actually. Not many people can surprise my brother."

Takumi pressed a few buttons and closed his phone. He didn't move otherwise, and resumed kicking the dirt with his feet.

"So you're going to stick around?"

"Yeah. Even if he's mad at me, I don't like not understanding what happens around me. I...I'm not really good at understanding people. But, if I stay, maybe I can figure something out about why he is the way he is. And, he needs to know a few things about me too."

"Like how nasty your temper is?" Keisuke quipped, lighting up another cigarette. Takumi shrugged.

"Well, he's sorta seen that…"

"Oh really?" Keisuke asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah. I told him before I don't like him deciding stuff for me on his own. I don't like being forced to do anything, and I felt like he was forcing me to wuss out. When those guys threatened us on our expedition, that was different. I was in an unfamiliar place, and that was an official situation for the team, so I did as I was told. But this is _my_ home turf, so I should be able to handle things that happen here in my own way. He didn't let me do that, and I don't like that at all."

"Aniki doesn't like to solve things that way."

"He wouldn't have had to. I would have solved it myself."

"Yeah. But he saw that was exactly what you wanted to do, and he'll stop that shit in its tracks. He was pissed."

"Then he's pissed. He'll have to deal with it. I'm pissed at him too, so he can yell at me if he wants to."

Keisuke couldn't believe what he was hearing. Fujiwara was tough to actually volunteer to get yelled at, because Keisuke knew for sure that Ryousuke would come onto the scene ready to tear them each a new one as if nothing else had happened. 'God, Aniki. Why didn't you just let Fujiwara punch that son of a bitch?'

"I just hope..." Fujiwara began, his voice trailing off into the night sky.

"What?" Keisuke asked when it became clear that Fujiwara was not going to finish his statement.

"I hope he won't leave me out of our final meetings with the team."

Keisuke laughed out loud.

"I don't think that's funny, Keisuke-san," Takumi retorted softly with a frown. "I liked being on this team. I liked...competing with our opponents. I liked competing with…you. It has meant everything to me that the two of you thought I was good enough to be a part of what we did since you both are so amazing and I'm such a weirdo."

Keisuke suddenly felt overwhelmed. He had to admit it; finding Fujiwara the year before was like some kind of sick, twisted miracle of fate. There was no way he would be at his current level without that weirdo always biting on his ass all the time, no matter how closely he followed his brother. With Ryousuke, Keisuke would always feel two steps behind, no matter how much he improved. Fujiwara presented him with a rivalry not tainted by the closeness of family, not filled with a lifetime of always standing distantly behind in Ryousuke's shadow. Plus, no matter how pissed off Ryousuke got, he always got over it quickly. Since Fujiwara had never before been the cause of the elder's anger, he wouldn't know that Ryousuke usually let it go as quickly as it had come. "You think that Aniki's going to stop himself from helping to get you signed over this? Oh my God, Fujiwara, you really are a piece of work."

"Will he?"

"You're serious?"

 _Duh._

"He won't. I guarantee it. You're..."

Takumi saw that Keisuke was not comfortable with whatever thought seemed to be in his head. "I'm what?"

"Too important to him," Keisuke grumbled.

 _Important. To Ryousuke._

The comment was left hanging in the balmy night air as the familiar sound of the FC approached their position. Keisuke promptly lit another cigarette. Takumi suddenly wished he had something to do with his hands, but, having nothing, he put them in his pockets. Twin beams of light came into view as the FC pulled up alongside the Impreza. Takumi didn't know what to do, so he looked the other way, seeing the blinking taillights of the cars on their way down to the bottom of the pass.

"He won't leave anything unfinished when it comes to the contracts," Keisuke offered quietly, sensing that Takumi was either trying to mentally prepare for what was to come, or that he was spacing out. It was so hard to tell with him.

"I hope not."

Keisuke looked over to the FC. His brother seemed to feel his gaze and he looked back with an unreadable expression. "Shit. Oh well, Fujiwara. He's in a mood for sure now."

"A mood?"

"Yep. A mood. This is gonna suck."

Fujiwara stole a quick glance over his shoulder toward the FC and leaned back against his car.

"At least you'll get a taste of what he's really like. He's always been a moody little bastard."

"It's fine. Shouldn't I know that part of him too?"

 _At least for a couple of months, I should, right? Unless he won't want to be with me anymore..._

"I guess."

"If he's mad at me, then you'll know I'm not his favorite."

"Huh?" Keisuke asked incredulously.

"You think I'm his favorite. Well, I'm not."

"Wait. What did you say-"

As if on cue, Ryousuke opened the car door and alighted from the FC before Keisuke could get an answer. He walked over to stand in front of the Aces. "Yo," Keisuke said to fill the silence, shaking off the unfinished conversation with his rival. Fujiwara made no sound and continued the annoying fiddling with his feet in the dirt as he leaned against the Imp.

Ryousuke sighed and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. He shook one loose from the pack and lit it, taking a long drag before replacing the pack and his lighter into the pocket of his khakis. His eyes were focused on Fujiwara and he ignored the greeting from his brother completely.

"First off," Ryousuke began, "when I tell you two to leave, I mean to get the hell moving," he said calmly.

"Oh, you meant, like immediately?" Keisuke replied dryly, seeing that his brother looked as though he was scolding only his rival despite saying "you two". 'Geez, Aniki,' Keisuke thought to himself, 'you're the one who fucked up here. Dumbass.'

Ryousuke flashed him a brief glare, but returned his stare to Fujiwara, who was doing an admirable job of looking as though he didn't care.

"Secondly," the elder continued, "our time together battling as a team may be over, but for now, until you both join professional teams, we _are_ a team. That means you two can't go off half-cocked doing whatever the hell you want."

"Oh. Is that so?" Keisuke supplied. "You hear that, Fujiwara? _We_ went off 'half-cocked'. _We_ need to learn to behave ourselves _appropriately,_ " he added with a chortling sound as he puffed away on his cigarette. Perhaps he shouldn't be trying to trigger Fujiwara's temper, but he couldn't help but to be interested. It would be nice to see someone tear his brother a new one for a change. Keisuke wasn't sure how far he himself could take it; after all, he was stuck living with the guy. But Fujiwara could go home and be away from Ryousuke whenever he wanted to be. He was in a better position to tell Ryousuke off and split, and Keisuke wondered if the kid even realized it.

Ryousuke ignored him again, and it looked like he was really getting pissed that Fujiwara made no move to give him his attention.

"Thirdly, and perhaps, most importantly, when I make the decision to handle a situation, we handle it _my_ way, wherever we are. It's because you two felt you had to act tough that things escalated and got out of control the way they did."

At this, Fujiwara finally met Ryousuke's eyes briefly and Keisuke could see that he looked none too pleased. It didn't look quite like he was ready to say anything, though, because he resumed his contemplation of the black night sky. Keisuke just chuckled a little, which earned him another quick look of disapproval. Leave it to Aniki to try and find some external cause for acting like an idiot. Keisuke supposed that he probably couldn't help that; after all, their Father had been a champ at shifting blame and had schooled Ryousuke well.

"Do you two have anything to say for yourselves, or should I just plan to listen to Keisuke's sarcasm and look at you stare off to who-knows-where all night?" Ryousuke snapped, the calm in his voice replaced by an irritated edge.

"Oh come off it, Aniki. You were the one who screwed up and you know it. Sheesh. You're supposed to be the smart one, remember, Dumbass?" Keisuke groaned.

Ryousuke was silent, but he never looked at his brother; he kept staring at Fujiwara as though he was trying to bore a hole through the kid's skull. After he finished his cigarette and put it out, he spoke. "Is that your opinion as well, Fujiwara?" he ground out, reaching into his pocket once again for a mint which he promptly put in his mouth and bit down audibly. "Am I a ' _dumbass_ '?" he asked sarcastically.

 _Oh well. Here goes nothing._

"Yeah."

Takumi matched Ryousuke's stare and saw the elder's eyes narrow. There was a miniscule twitch in one of his brows that was gone almost before it was there at all. If Takumi had continued to stare off into space, he would have never seen it. He heard a slight chuckle come from Keisuke's direction.

 _I'm in trouble._

"Looks like the votes are in, Aniki. Two to one that you're the Dumbass of the Night. How does it feel?" Keisuke quipped.

"Just how many times will I have to tell you to shut up tonight, Keisuke?" Ryousuke said in a low growl.

Keisuke shrugged. "You'll probably say it again, but, honestly, what the hell is the matter with you?"

"Nothing."

Takumi wasn't sure, but he thought that Ryousuke was indeed more upset than he was outwardly angry. Of course, he didn't really know, but his instinct was telling him it was true. Ryousuke had his hand in his pocket again, as though he was almost, _almost_ , fidgeting. Takumi couldn't tell if he was still angry or if he was just uncomfortable. He was so hard to read sometimes, as though Takumi was staring into an abyss of a person, a person who routinely buried things deeply away from what could bee seen on the outside. Ryousuke probably already knew painfully well that he indeed was the one at fault, but he just didn't want to admit his own imperfections. It was a side of Ryousuke that Takumi didn't think he liked. Everyone made mistakes, Takumi thought; Ryousuke shouldn't be an exception. Takumi had learned the best way to deal with mistakes was to own up to them, and to learn from them. Why didn't Ryousuke want to admit he was wrong? Takumi thought he could forgive the embarrassment Ryousuke caused him much more easily if he would only say he was sorry. Was this the "fake-perfection" that Keisuke was talking about? Was it right to try to shift blame to the Aces, when it was Ryousuke himself who should be the one apologizing?

Was Ryousuke really an asshole?

"Why were you even here tonight?" Takumi ventured to ask.

"It's a public road," Ryousuke began, "and-"

"Don't give me that!" Takumi interrupted crossly.

 _Just admit you were wrong! Admit that you made me feel embarrassed and admit that you let the cat out of the bag. Admit that I have a right to be pissed at you!_

Ryousuke once again had the sensation of being slapped by Takumi's words. There was anger in his eyes; what embarrassment he'd thought he had seen before was gone, and only a furious fire remained. If only the Aces hadn't gotten their dander up, if only he had stopped his own curiosity. If...

Keisuke made a little whistling noise, as if in appreciation for Fujiwara's outburst at his expense. He was enjoying this moment entirely too much, and the elder was not amused. It wasn't as though he had planned to make such a spectacle.

It wasn't planned that way.

It wasn't _planned._

Ryousuke didn't _plan_ to find out that he had some kind of singularly possessive nature. He hadn't ever felt that way before, so how could he have known to devise a simulation to keep something like that in check? But when that man looked at Takumi, undressing him with his eyes, taking his mental notes and having who-knows-what kind of lascivious thoughts, something...

Just.

Took.

Over.

"I'm gonna ask you again, Ryousuke. Why did you come here?!" Takumi snapped.

Ryousuke said nothing; he only raised his hand to squeeze the bridge of his nose. 'Think,' Ryousuke thought, 'Think. What really happened? It was my fault. I know it. But it pisses me off that I can lose myself so easily when it comes to you, Takumi. What the hell are you doing to me?'

Keisuke chuckled. "Are you going to tell him the truth, Aniki?"

Takumi gave Keisuke a quick look, but he was more interested in what Ryousuke would say. When Ryousuke said nothing, Takumi returned his gaze to Keisuke who gave him the "hands off" gesture once again. Feeling the frustration mount, he looked his mentor, his lover, in the eye.

"Do you honestly think you're the only one who's pissed off here?" Takumi challenged.

 _Tell me the truth! How will I understand what happened if you don't? Is this acting cool or something? You should have done that earlier!_

"I've already taken steps to minimize what happened," Ryousuke finally offered by way of an almost-apology.

"Well, geez, that's a relief for _you._ What about Fujiwara?" Keisuke shouted. "Just own up and apologize for acting like a jealous little _bitch_!"

"What did you say?!" Ryousuke hissed to his brother, and Takumi could feel his own eyes widen. He supposed a little brother could get away with something like that, but Ryousuke's tone made Takumi rather unsure about it.

"You heard me. You were like some possessive high-school girlfriend who didn't want some punk lookin' at 'her man'. Damn it, Aniki; you should let Fujiwara handle himself because no guy wants to feel like some chick is telling him what to do. You're worse than _my_ last girlfriend!"

 _Oh my God. Did he really just say that?!_

Ryousuke looked from Keisuke to Fujiwara and back to Keisuke again. "Is that what you thought, Keisuke? Are you the expert on my personal business now?" he asked coolly.

"No. But you don't have to be an expert to see what I saw."

"I see."

"Do you?"

Ryousuke took a breath. "Is that how you see it, Takumi?"

 _Crap. He's calling me by name now. Does this mean he's not the team leader right now? I can't deal with all this switching after all. Why can't you be who you are?_

"Not quite."

Ryousuke raised an eyebrow. "Would you care to enlighten me, then?"

 _Should I say it? In front of Keisuke-san? Or should I just get in the car and leave?_

"I'm waiting, Takumi," Ryousuke said evenly.

 _I'm doing it. He needs to know. If I want him to understand me, it's only fair for me to say what I feel._

"I think you should have let me punch that guy. I think it was _wrong_ of you to stop me, and you were acting like you were trying to be some kind of protector or something. You should worry about protecting _yourself_. I can handle _myself_ , and if that means I have to deck someone, I do it."

"Takumi, I-"

"I am _not_ finished!" Takumi shouted and Keisuke couldn't believe his ears. It was as though Takumi had forgotten he was there, and Keisuke wondered if he really shouldn't be hearing what was being said. It wasn't his business, this "affair". But, seeing Takumi getting assertive like that made it interesting to watch. His brother hadn't told him to leave, so Keisuke was going to watch for as long as he dared, sort of like watching a train wreck; no one really wanted to see the destruction, yet it was impossible to look away.

"I don't need someone to protect me; I've been protecting myself since I was a little brat and I don't intend to stop now. If you want someone to protect like they're a girl, just get yourself a wife like you're supposed to and leave me the hell out of it!"

Keisuke looked at his brother for some kind of reaction. It was barely there, but Keisuke saw his brother recoil slightly. For it to be visible at all, it meant that Ryousuke was definitely affected by the words. Keisuke wasn't sure in just what way Ryousuke was affected, but he was, and Keisuke immediately wanted to leave, but he couldn't walk away. Fujiwara was pissed off, and, even though Ryousuke deserved it, Keisuke certainly wasn't going to let Fujiwara punch his brother. However, it seemed like his rival's little outburst calmed him slightly.

"Are you finished now, Takumi?" Ryousuke asked softly.

 _No. But if I say what I want to, you'll probably want to kick me off the team._

"Yeah, but only because I don't know what else to say," Takumi lied.

Ryousuke shook his head. "I don't think that's true."

 _Damn._

"Haven't I told you that you're a lousy fibber? If you're going to have it out with me, do it. You don't hold back behind the wheel, do you?"

 _He always knows me. And I still don't know him at all, do I?_

"Uh, hey, Aniki?" Keisuke spoke up.

Ryousuke turned to look at his brother. "What _now_ , Keisuke? Is calling me a little _bitch_ not enough?" he asked in an exasperated tone.

Keisuke's expression turned cross. "I was just going to _ask_ if I could go home for crying out loud!" he shouted. "Do I really have to stand here and listen to your little lovers' quarrel?"

"Keisuke-san!" Fujiwara gasped, feeling the searing heat come to his cheeks. "Don't say stuff like that out loud!"

"Ah, sorry, Fujiwara," Keisuke hurriedly replied, backpedaling slightly, "I guess I was just getting used to the idea, you know..."

Takumi glared at his teammate.

"But then again, I got no business getting involved, so, on second thought...ah fuck it. Aniki, let me out of here, will ya?"

"There's _no_ getting used to the idea at all!" Takumi blurted out without thinking. Seeing Keisuke look immediately with unmistakable concern toward his brother for a reaction, Takumi followed suit. Ryousuke looked as though he'd been punched in the gut. He looked almost...hurt.

 _Damn. I said that aloud. But it's the truth. I'm pissed, and freaking out here and I don't know what to do about it at all! So what if I'm ranting like an idiot!_

"Takumi-"

"And I'm not supposed to be 'Takumi' except when we're-," Takumi stopped short, realizing he was about to blurt something out worse than what had been said by either of the Takahashi brothers.

 _Shit. Shut up, Idiot!_

"When we're what, Fujiwara?" Ryousuke asked quietly.

"Can I _please_ get out of here?!" Keisuke whined, forgetting his decision to leave well enough alone, and interrupting the exchange. "I don't want to hear the answer to that question," he groaned, taking the initiative to open the car door, but giving Ryousuke a chance to grant permission anyway.

Ryousuke sighed. "Fine. Go home, Keisuke."

"Thank God. Geez this whole thing is friggin' weird, but if you guys are just going to piss each other off, then stop already because then I'll get pissed off at both of you. Bad enough I gotta think about you doing this and that to each other," he grumbled as he got into the FD.

 _Huh?! Don't talk about "this" and "that" so lightly! I want to die._

"Keisuke, please don't say any more. I'm already in deep shit here," Ryousuke said a bit ruefully, taking care to hide in his voice the tinge of amusement he felt toward Keisuke's little statement and Takumi's way-too-adorable reaction to it.

"Tch. 'Bout time you admitted it," Keisuke returned with a disarming smile.

Takumi could only run his hands through his hair and stare off into the night, and Ryousuke also took note of the ensuing expressions of shock, anger, and the return of embarrassment to Takumi's beautiful face as his emotions seemed to run the gambit all at once. 'All right, Takumi. I was wrong. Incredibly wrong,' he thought. He would apologize. He'd grind it out somehow in a way that Takumi could forgive him.

Takumi turned to Keisuke who seemed to communicate something silently to his brother, and to which Ryousuke responded with a nod and half a smirk. God, how Takumi wanted to be able to read that invisible language! If he learned it, could he understand Ryousuke better? Would he be able to figure out how this whole night had gone the way it did?

Instead, Takumi leaned back again on the Imp; he hadn't even realized he had advanced toward Ryousuke as much as he had. He certainly didn't want to appear like he was getting cozy in front of Keisuke, lest more thoughts of "this" and "that" be given to the FD driver as a drawn conclusion of things seen in the back mirror as he drove away. He was still upset, and still needed answers from Ryousuke because he wasn't satisfied. Takumi knew it was stubbornness at work, but he felt that Ryousuke was just as stubborn. He'd wait, but he certainly didn't want to give Keisuke any reason to think about his sex life with the elder. It was bad enough he knew about it in the first place.

Ryousuke watched as his brother started the FD and took off before returning his attention to Takumi. Takumi had retreated a little to lean against the car, and Ryousuke decided he'd do well to do the same. He leaned back on the FC, directly across from Takumi as the cars sat side by side, and watched his young Downhiller continue to show a wide range of emotions in his beautiful face.

"It's just us now, Takumi," Ryousuke began after a fashion, taking his cue to start first from the fact that Takumi seemed more interested in kicking dirt than talking to him.

"Tell me why you came here tonight," Takumi repeated. "I want to know."

Ryousuke found himself putting his hands in his pockets, fingering his cigarettes again. "Do I have to say it?"

Takumi looked at him then, searching for the words Ryousuke didn't want to say. Hearing Takumi challenge him to find a girl and get married was tough to take, mainly because it was exactly what he would have to do in the end.

"Don't tell me it was because you wanted to scout the Speed Stars or some other bullshit. I might be clueless about some things, but I'm not stupid," Takumi affirmed sternly. "Lie to me, and," he continued, trying to will the heat away from his face, "whatever it is that we have, it's all over."

Ryousuke held his ground, trying his best not to have an outward reaction to what had been said. Inwardly however, he was frantically trying to ascertain Takumi's meaning. 'Whatever it is that we have'? Did he mean their affair? Or did he mean everything including D? Ryousuke was not amused that Takumi might be thinking he could walk away from the Project again. Takumi didn't yet know how important and critical these final steps were. He thought he was as passionate about it as Ryousuke was himself. How could Takumi consider abandoning it so easily? Was that even what he meant at all?

Or, had Ryousuke simply been wrong about everything? The thought was absolutely repulsive to even consider. But, it had been _his_ game after all. Though Takumi came along for the ride willingly, he would have been an idiot not to take advantage of an all-expenses paid almost-year of training then battling the best togue opponents out there. He would have been foolish not to affiliate himself with the Takahashi Rotary Kyoudai; that alone would get him noticed on the street. Takumi had never been an official member of the Akina Speed Stars. He had no prior alliance to any established team, had no interest in joining the Speed Stars, when he could have easily been their Number One; hell he would have been their _only_ one. Takumi was no fool, and, by his own assertions, he wasn't stupid.

Had Ryousuke been the fool this whole time? Letting his attraction to the younger man simmer freely away for so many months, albeit hidden under the cool exterior, had he really allowed it to get in the way of what they were supposed to be doing out there on the togue in the first place? How could he have lost sight of that?

He had _needed_ Takumi's technique to get the most out of Project D. He had wanted it when the hachi-roku pulled up to the starting line for their battle that one summer ago, when the young man said outright that he thought people were overestimating him, that it was only natural that he'd be fast on a course he knew well, that he wasn't anything special, that anyone on their home course would be the same. He had wanted it _ever since_ he chased the Panda Trueno down the steep, unforgiving slopes of Akina, seeing his theory brought to life before him. He'd wanted it the _moment_ that hachi-roku hooked its wheels into the gutter of Akina and came out with an exciting speed theoretically beyond the capabilities of the car. He wanted it the _second_ he felt elation toward his own loss instead of anger. He wanted it the _instant_ he had that conversation at the bottom, when the young man was hesitant to admit victory, was unwilling to believe that he had been faster than the FC. Ryousuke wanted that technique of the weirdest racer he'd ever met, no matter what the cost.

However, Ryousuke couldn't pretend now that he didn't have another motivation. Things had gone too far for him not to have to admit it to himself.

Not only did he want and need Takumi's crazy unorthodox technique behind the wheel, Ryousuke wanted Takumi the _person._ Maybe he had wanted it all along. And, now that he had begun to succeed in having all that Takumi had been willing to give to him, he'd managed to screw it up in a way that would have been inconceivable to him a year ago. The truth was staggering: he _did_ want to possess the younger man. All of him. All of the time. The driving, the driver; Ryousuke knew now that there was no longer a distinction between the two when it came to his thoughts of Fujiwara Takumi.

The driving and the driver were a beautiful unity, one that Ryousuke did not want to let slip away from his grasp, no matter how many other things would have to be left behind. He had to fix this. That was supposed to be his forte, wasn't it? He wasn't ever supposed to be the cause of such an incredible breakdown as this.

It was like a repetition of history, when caring for someone had turned into a royal mess. He wasn't supposed to be doing that anymore, because actually giving in to feelings seemed only to lead to ruin. What happened with Kaori proved that theory in the worst possible way. Maybe that's why he found himself to be so incredibly inept and pathetic when it came to coping with such intense emotions; Takumi wore his heart on his sleeve, even if the sleeve itself was hard to decipher. But, even if the meaning wasn't always apparent, the intensity was always there. For Ryousuke it was so appealing, and now, he thought he understood why.

It was because when it came to acting on emotional instinct, for the better like Takumi and like Keisuke, and for the worse when it had come to Kaori, those deeply emotional people were everything Ryousuke was not.

Navigating these intense feelings was still foreign territory for Ryousuke, like testing a course for the first time. There were always obstacles on a public road one never finds on a perfectly maintained circuit track; fallen rocks, construction barricades, water puddling after a rain: the list could be endless. And Takumi's greatest gift was taking the course with all its faults and committing it to his mind, so that its image came to him as easily as breath, just the way his facial expressions flowed in a reflection of his emotions like water in a stream, as something completely natural and ever-present and real.

Takumi's driving instinct was something Ryousuke could neither manufacture nor duplicate, and neither were his emotions. They were impossible to quantify to an accuracy of 100%, and, after Kaori, Ryousuke always found himself putting his own feelings away neatly into some category of nonsense that he could simply avoid instead.

Emotions frustrated him.

But, standing so close to Takumi, to the man he accepted in his own mind that he loved as he had loved no other before, Ryousuke wondered if percentages suddenly didn't much matter when it came to this. Maybe they shouldn't. Maybe they _couldn't._

"I came here tonight because I wanted to be where you were. That's all," Ryousuke admitted.

 _What?_

"It wasn't for 'training' then?" Takumi whispered.

Ryousuke chuckled once. "That would have been a valuable side-benefit."

Takumi gave him a look that said he clearly didn't buy it. "You mean, an _excuse_."

Takumi watched his mentor as he closed his eyes for a second before reopening them to look at him. "Yes. It was a hastily planned excuse to come and see you."

Takumi ran his hands through his hair again. "And Keisuke-san? He said he didn't want to come here. So why were he and Nakamura here too?"

Ryousuke sighed. "Keisuke agreed to come along so I wouldn't be...so obvious, and Kenta, well, if Keisuke is training, Kenta will follow as usual."

Takumi stared at Ryousuke in disbelief. "So you planned all of that just to...to hang out?"

"I guess," Ryousuke agreed.

Takumi absorbed the statement, and swatted away at an insect that Ryousuke didn't quite see. "You could have just asked to see me," Takumi muttered, almost to himself.

"I could have," he agreed again.

"You didn't have to make some elaborate plan. I would have...wanted to see you," Takumi relented.

Ryousuke took a deep breath. "Takumi, about what happened at the top...I am sorry. Believe me, I know people knowing about things could definitely cause problems not only for me, but for you. No one is more pissed off than I about it."

Takumi stared off into space again for a long moment. Finally, he said, "No. I think I'm more pissed off. You're used to hiding things and I'm not. You're supposed to be better at it so I don't have to be good at it at all."

'Shit,' the elder cursed inwardly to himself. Of course that made perfect sense. Ryousuke could no longer take the tension and pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He took a long drag that didn't have the calming effect that he desired. "You were embarrassed," he ground out.

"Of course I was," Takumi replied flatly. "You think it will be a picnic for me the next time I hang out with my Senpai? Last thing they knew was that I was dating Mika-chan. It doesn't take a genius to see that dating her and sleeping with you is _definitely_ not the same thing. It should be even worse for _you_ if they know, shouldn't it?"

"Do you want to stop what we're doing?" Ryousuke ventured to ask, trying to keep his heart from the annoying pounding it started to do.

"I should after what you did up there, but... I don't."

"Okay."

"But I want some answers."

"All right."

 _Here goes._

"Why did you get into it with that guy? Obviously he seemed to know about us somehow. Who were you talking about anyway?"

Ryousuke expected this would come up, but expecting Takumi's questions didn't make them any less unpleasant. "Well, it seems to be that the other driver happens to be the lover of someone I know at the University."

Takumi's heart was jumping into his throat, threatening to obstruct the words he was about to speak. "And that is?" he asked in a low whisper.

Ryousuke exhaled, following the line of his cigarette smoke as it trailed upward toward the light of the street lamp. How the hell would he describe Isao to Takumi without coming of like the jerk he knew he was? He was trying to think, trying to craft a tactful description when Takumi interrupted his thought process.

"The truth will be good enough, Ryousuke," Takumi said firmly.

"I'll be blunt, then, if that's what you want."

"Please do."

Ryousuke took a breath. "Isao is a man that I have been involved with periodically over the last couple of years, mainly before he started seeing that person," he explained, nodding back toward the summit to clarify that the driver Morimoto was "that person".

"So you dated," Takumi postulated, that infernal blush creeping over his cheeks.

Ryousuke exhaled and put out his cigarette, and grabbed another mint and bit down on it. "Not exactly. I don't really date anyone anymore."

The downhiller looked thoughtful. "So he was a sex friend."

Ryousuke recoiled a bit. So much for being blunt; Takumi had out-blunted him by far.

"Well, I supp-"

"Just say it plainly," Takumi dared to interrupt. "If you were involved with him but you weren't dating, I do believe that is what people call 'sex friends', right? I _do_ know about stuff like that, you know."

Ryousuke frowned a little. "I think I told you it's not really an aspect of my personality I'm proud of. I don't like admitting this kind of thing to you especially."

"Why 'especially' me? You're doing it _again_!" Takumi retorted in a raised voice that took Ryousuke a bit by surprise. The flash of anger in his eyes came back, and Ryousuke immediately put up his defenses.

"What am I 'doing' exactly?" Ryousuke responded coolly.

"Treating me like a kid! You did it up there and you're doing it now. You don't do it when you send me out for a battle, and you don't do it when I'm in your bed, so why do you think when we're not in those situations you have to try to hide things from me, when all I want is to know who Ryousuke is for _real,_ not the person you think you _should_ be when other people are around! It's confusing, and you can't even do it yourself all the time given what went on up there!"

"I'm not treating you like a child, Takumi. But you are young, whether you like it or not. I was just trying to be tactful," Ryousuke returned.

"You mean _fake_!" Takumi spat.

Ryousuke crushed the remainder of the mint between his teeth and moved to stand in front of Takumi, immediately invading the younger man's personal space. "What do you want from me?" he hissed.

 _Oh God, he's pissed. Did I go too far? No! I didn't. I just need to know him! His eyes, they're so intense...so dark. What is this feeling I'm getting? It's like something is going to explode with him..._

"I want you to stop being 'tactful'."

Ryousuke closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, Takumi could feel Ryousuke's intensity like a sword running him through. It was that same scared yet excited feeling he had when he challenged Ryousuke to take him hard and fast, the way Takumi imagined him behind the wheel in the heat of battle, or behind his body in the heat of a frantic coupling. It was nothing short of dangerous.

"Here it is, then, Takumi," Ryousuke said, his voice low but with a rough edge Takumi wasn't used to hearing. "Isao-kun is a mathematics grad student at Gundai. A couple of years ago, I met him through a mutual acquaintance. I thought he was hot. We talked, he was agreeable, so I took him home and I _fucked_ him. I occasionally called him, and we occasionally fucked. He started dating what's-his-name, and we stopped for a while, but since they were kind of on-and-off, I took advantage of a few times when they were 'off'."

 _Whoa._

"So you see, Takumi, apparently what's-his-name seems to have learned that I was still sometimes fucking his boyfriend, so, as you might imagine, he's a little pissed off. Now, I had no idea he was a racer, and, for that, Isao-kun is in _deep shit_ for not telling me, because I wasn't exactly thrilled to meet someone on the togue who is the lover of my _sex friend_ , as you put it.

"But, it's been _months_ since I've seen Isao, and, God help me, the last time I went to see him, it was because I was getting pissed off that I couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like to take the impossibly _young_ , impossibly _sexy,_ impossibly _straight_ , person I was attracted to at the time to bed with me, because the whole thought of that person going for it at all was _ridiculous_. Not to mention, how _inappropriate_ it was for me even to be thinking about it in the first place."

Ryousuke was breathing hard, his pent up lecture now released. "Do you get it now? That person, my dear Takumi, would be _you_."

"Me?" Takumi whispered.

"Yes. You. And I'm pretty sure I'm going straight to hell for wanting you _far_ more than I should."

Takumi couldn't believe what he was hearing.

 _Why, Ryousuke? Why is it me when you could have anyone, and have an easier time? You had this other guy. What is different about me?_

"Now you decide to say nothing?" Ryousuke whispered. "You asked me to tell you the real deal, and I have. I didn't sugar coat it, so now you have another example to show you that I am not always the reserved so-called 'gentleman' people take me for. It's convenient for me if they think that, though, so, whether you like it or not, there are times when I _have_ to act that way. And, honestly, that _is_ part of who I am too. Call it an over-inflated sense of responsibility toward the people I care for if you want, but if I feel like I want to keep you away from certain people, or shield you from things I think are unpleasant about myself, sue me."

Takumi remained silent and Ryousuke shook his head. He stepped back from Takumi's personal space and leaned against the FC, his fingers pressing the bridge of his nose. "Walk away from our...involvement if you want. But don't walk away from the final business of the team, Takumi."

"Ryousuke..."

"What is it?" Ryousuke responded in a voice that sounded more tired than anything.

"I wasn't going to walk away from that. That's not what I meant when I said it would be all over if you lied."

Ryousuke sighed and removed his fingers from the bridge of his nose. "I'm relieved to hear that."

"I've never met anyone like you," Takumi began hesitantly. "I don't know a lot about people."

"You're still young. There are a lot of assholes like me around."

Takumi frowned. He knew he was probably being too bold, but he just couldn't stop the rush of emotions. Challenging Ryousuke like this ought to have been too intimidating to try, but Takumi figured he might not ever get this chance again.

 _Even if I regret it later, I'm saying all I want to say._

"You told me the truth. How does that make you an asshole? And quit saying that I'm young. I know how old I am."

Ryousuke exhaled. "You don't get it. I'm not reminding you of your youth to insult you."

"Then why _are_ you reminding me of it? I'm grown; I'm out of school, I have a full-time job, and, for the most part, I come and go as I please doing whatever I want to do. I've gotten into fights when I've wanted to, I've had girlfriends, and I spent almost every other weekend traveling with my _illegal_ racing team by _choice_. If I crash my car, I _accept_ responsibility for it. If we had ended up getting hauled off to jail for racing, I would have just sat there for a while because maybe my Dad would have bailed me out, and maybe he wouldn't have so he could punish me for being stupid enough to get caught. When I got out, I'd have paid my fine, be done with it, and go right back to racing anyway regardless. I'm an _adult._ "

"I understand that, Takumi, but-"

"And," Takumi continued, interrupting Ryousuke before he even realized he had done so, "I don't like that it seems to be so hard for you to admit you're wrong. There's nothing wrong with not being perfect, and you don't have to pretend to be perfect around me because it makes you seem too unreal. I'm _glad_ you're not above being nasty. I don't care who you've _fucked_ before, because I can't do anything about it, and it doesn't have anything to do with me anyway. But I don't like thinking you're always keeping secrets because I wonder if there are other things you keep from me to try to protect my feelings, that have nothing to do with the fact that I've slept with you. Even so, I'm _happy_ that you have flaws, because it makes it easier for me to be near you without feeling like a total idiot all of the time, because I _do_ want to be near you!"

 _Shut. UP!_

"You're not an idiot," Ryousuke affirmed. A bit of the weight seemed to lift when he heard that Takumi did want to be near to him. The flood of words from the normally quiet Takumi felt more like a cooling rainshower on this warm summer evening.

"Well, anyone would feel like one next to you," Takumi said, lowering his voice once more.

"Don't say things like that."

"It's true. But, even though I'm happy to know you're not perfect, I can't help it if I still feel embarrassed about people knowing about us...or me...shit. I don't know what I'm saying. You were honest with me, so I'm just being honest too, even if you get mad. It's confusing and weird for me still...being... And having you say things that people will figure out that we're...it was really dumb, Ryousuke."

 _Idiot._

Ryousuke considered Takumi's words. "You do understand," he remarked after a fashion, his tone back to the gentle baritone that Takumi recognized as reassurance, but he wasn't sure at all what Ryousuke meant. As usual.

"What do you mean?" he mumbled.

"This is precisely why I feel like shit."

"Eh?" Takumi responded with confusion.

Ryousuke looked up to the sky. "How old are you, Takumi."

"You know."

"Humor me and just say it aloud," Ryousuke gently directed.

"19."

"When will you be 20?"

"April."

"I see. How old am I?"

"Twenty...uh...four? I think?"

Ryousuke smirked a little. "I will turn 25 before you turn 20."

"So?" Takumi mumbled.

"I've known about my own preferences for quite some time now. Even if I prefer to keep quiet about it, I've had to accept how I am and, most of the time, I do accept it and I'm past being embarrassed or ashamed of it."

"So?" Takumi repeated.

Ryousuke sighed. "I'm pushing you to adapt to _my_ time limit, and I shouldn't be. You are entitled time to think things over for yourself to discover if this kind of involvement is something you enjoy or not, and I'm not giving it to you. I'm wanting you to become instantly okay with things, even though I know personally how difficult that is. This is why when I remind you that you're young, it's mainly to remind _myself_ that you are, and that I shouldn't have this singularly possessive nature I seem to have over you. It pisses me off because it's never happened to me like this, and I don't know what the hell to do about it."

Takumi raised a finger to his cheek, seemingly deep in thought. Ryousuke could see that he was trying to formulate some kind of response. "What are you thinking?" he prodded.

"What you're really saying is, you think you're corrupting me," Takumi declared.

Ryousuke was once again taken slightly aback. That's exactly what it was, no matter how much elusive speech Ryousuke tried to use to shield himself and Takumi from the truth of it. "Yeah. I suppose I do."

"You think too much, Ryousuke."

"I'm concerned that...you'll come to regret what we have done someday."

"You're not corrupting me. You're not doing things I don't want you to do. And," Takumi continued, looking away a little, "if we're...alone, I actually don't mind if you're a little possessive, because it makes me feel like I belong, like I'm not out of place or something when I'm with you. Only a _little,_ though, and not in front of my friends. And _definitely not_ in front of Keisuke-san."

 _Idiot._

"I can accept those conditions. I know it bothered you," Ryousuke remarked, trying to keep his happiness toward the slightly mumbled permission to himself.

When he turned to meet his eyes again to see if the younger driver would respond, Takumi had that look of determination in his eyes. "Only because up until a couple of weeks ago, I was fine liking girls. And I still like girls. "

 _So tell me why I still feel all screwed up sometimes about this!_

Ryousuke smiled a little. "You say it as if there's something wrong with that."

 _That's it. If I don't lay it all on the line now, I won't know how he really feels, and he won't know my feelings either. I don't want to hurt him, but I want him to try and help me to figure this out._

"Then why did I kiss you?" Takumi asked, his voice unsteady. "I didn't think about it, I got upset when you said you were moving far, and I just did it. I don't like guys that way. So why did I want to do it?"

"I can't answer that for you."

"Why the hell not?!"

"Because you did something I would have never done. You acted on impulse. Even though I was attracted to you, I could never have made it known to you like that by initiating anything."

"Inappropriate?"

"Among other things, yes."

"So you really would never have told me..."

"Probably not."

"You would have gone on with your life and me with mine, and we would have never gotten closer."

"Right."

"And I'd never know the things about you that I know now."

"Yeah."

Takumi was quiet for a few more seconds, and Ryousuke wished he could read the mind of his downhiller for the millionth time.

"Then I'm glad I did it," Takumi suddenly said, "even if I'm not sure why, even though you wanted me to figure out reasons and motivations and all that crap. Maybe I shouldn't worry about why anyway. And I'm not embarrassed because...it's you. I'm lucky it was you, but then, I don't think it could be anyone but you for this."

 _Oh God, that was almost a confession! Shut up!_

"Takumi..." Ryousuke was touched by the words because he thought he understood their meaning, and the feelings Takumi was struggling with that prompted them too. He wanted to say that he was struggling too, but he just could not.

"I made you say things you didn't want to say," Takumi hurriedly said, as if recovering himself. "I'm sorry."

"You only wanted the truth," Ryousuke replied, thankful for the slight conversational shift himself. "I wish the truth was a bit more pleasant, though."

"Get over it."

Ryousuke could feel his heart pounding again, taking in the sight of Takumi in that lovely green t-shirt and the jeans that actually fit. "Takumi..."

"What?"

"I'll still likely be more possessive than you wish, but I'll keep it in check better than I did tonight from now on. However, it does piss me off that I can lose control like that when it comes to you, and I think you know me well enough by now to know that I'm not used to that. That is also the truth."

Takumi frowned a little. "If you have something now, but are planning on letting it go, how can you really call it possessive after all? You are planning on letting me go, right?"

"Yes." God, how it hurt to admit it.

"You're not the only one. So don't plan for it, and just let it happen when it happens."

"Ultimately, though, shouldn't we decide how to handle things between us when I return from the States? We should establish certain boundaries, certain-"

"You make things so damn _complicated_!" Takumi groaned.

"I'm only wanting to ensure that we'll still have _some_ kind of involvement with each other. I don't want to let you go completely; I'll still want to watch your career, still want to watch you grow," Ryousuke replied.

"I'm not a complicated person, Ryousuke. I don't plan things out that far ahead. I deal with what I can see and feel when it's right in front of me. What comes after gets dealt with then."

The elder smirked a little. "I don't excel with that way of thinking," he said wryly with a hint of humor.

"When did I say I thought about it?" Takumi contested.

Ryousuke was stunned. Maybe he should quit reminding himself of Takumi's age after all; the simple wisdom of his Downhill Ace had amazed him once again. What had started out as a personal blunder for the ages seemed now to be a blessing in disguise. The way Takumi kept boldly standing up to him, getting angry with him, it was exhilarating, because Ryousuke had found himself weary of people who walked on eggshells around him. Takumi might be shy, but for him to say this much, to open up this much, there had to be trust there despite the anger. And he didn't want to end things either, despite his own confused feelings.

"You really are something else, Takumi. You said you've never met anyone like me, well I may as well tell you the same. You're so intriguing to me; I thought I understood you, because you're a lot like Keisuke in many ways. However, I've quickly learned that you are quite different from him, and from anyone else I've known."

Takumi said nothing.

"When I found out that Keisuke had been overtaken by a hachi-roku when he was practicing on Akina, I honestly was quite shocked. If I hadn't seen his face, I wouldn't have believed it all, thinking he was just pulling my leg. I hadn't even been planning on going to that first outing against the Speed Stars at all. I charged Keisuke with setting a record on that course that none of them could even touch, and I had total confidence that he could do it. When he came home that morning, barging into my room before I'd even had my first cup of coffee, I didn't know what to make of it. It didn't fit the simulation I'd devised, the one that had 100% certainty that the Red Suns would own Akina. I hadn't planned on finding someone like you on the togue, and I certainly didn't plan to want you the way I do."

"You can't plan everything."

Ryousuke let a soft laugh escape him along with a smile as he ran his hand through his hair. "I do try, though."

 _I'm not going to be embarrassed or mad at him anymore tonight. How can I when he looks like that and tells me these things about wanting to stay close? He...really is handsome. I really am attracted to him. I'll show him I'm not a kid; that I'm better than his sex friends. I want him to want me more than he wanted that guy!_

"I'm not planning anything right now," Takumi said, "Not even this..."

Before Ryousuke could ask what "this" was, Takumi quickly closed the distance between them. He braced his hands on the roof of the FC on either side of Ryousuke's arms and kissed him hard and full on the lips. Ryousuke's surprise immediately turned to a passionate return of the kiss, and the outside world melted away like it always seemed to do whenever they were together like this. Takumi had effectively pinned Ryousuke to the car, leaving no space between them; whether it was conscious or not, Ryousuke neither knew nor cared, but Takumi had pushed one of his legs in between Ryousuke's and held him within reach of his lips and tongue with pressure from his lower body on his thigh.

When the kiss broke, Ryousuke slid his hands into the back pockets of Takumi's jeans, not allowing him to break contact. "Stay right there," he whispered, leaning in toward Takumi's ear. The other nodded, panting slightly. "You've been quite bold with me tonight, all around, haven't you?"

Takumi felt the warmth of Ryousuke's body, the warmth of breath on his skin as he spoke. "I guess."

"Aren't you worried about being seen?"

"A little...but this isn't Akagi where there are a lot of people around all the time. Akina is different."

"I see," Ryousuke replied with a voice that dipped into a sensually low octave that drove Takumi crazy. Takumi moved his head slightly, and their lips met again. Takumi gasped when Ryousuke lifted his tongue with his own and sucked before probing so deeply into his mouth that Takumi thought he could have reached the very core of his being. "I'm sorry I screwed up tonight," the elder whispered between kisses. Takumi could feel his lover's passion again, and he involuntarily pushed the older man back more firmly against the car in an attempt to get relief for the ache that was making its presence undeniably known through his jeans. Ryousuke made no attempt to reverse their position, even when Takumi lifted one of his hands to touch the side of Ryousuke's face. That skin was so smooth; his cheek was a bit cool, but was quickly growing warm underneath the younger driver's palm.

When the kiss lapsed again, Takumi saw that Ryousuke had that little glint in his eyes that he understood to be a sign that his mood had much improved. However, Takumi thought he could detect a hint of mischief in them too, and he scowled a little. "What?" he asked evenly.

"It's not every day that I get pinned to my car..." Ryousuke remarked.

"Ah! Uh...well...," Takumi stammered, but before he could form a sentence and retreat, Ryousuke tightened the grip he had on his back pockets, and Takumi felt himself being pulled impossibly more firmly into Ryousuke's body.

"That's not a complaint," he whispered.

 _Okay. I was angry, and I'm still worried about everything, but this feeling I have...what I feel from you...I know what it is. You thought about me this way from way before. You told me that. I don't have time to be angry with you over crap like this. I don't have enough time to be with you at all._

Takumi leaned in to kiss Ryousuke's neck, following the ridge of his jawline and down to the collar of his polo shirt, tasting him with his tongue, and feeling the vibration of a low hum in his lips when they crossed Ryousuke's throat.

"Takumi..."

"Yeah?" Takumi breathed, barely interrupting the exploration of his lover's neck, and his enjoyment of Ryousuke's hands gripping him tightly through the back pockets of his pants, and of the friction he felt on his groin when Ryousuke raised his thigh a little to press him there.

"I do enjoy where this is going, but...let's take it somewhere else..."

"Yeah," Takumi repeated, but he didn't stop. He continued to kiss Ryousuke, desperately, longingly, more deeply than he'd ever kissed anyone.

Ryousuke was being driven crazy by the weight of Takumi's supple body holding him against the unforgiving surface of the side of the car. It was exhilarating when Takumi got assertive, and he wondered just how far the younger driver intended to take it. The prospect was a little daunting; it really had been years since he'd let a partner take control. But, if this is how Takumi wanted to do things, Ryousuke would let him. Even if he was testing something, Ryousuke felt like he owed it to him to do just that if he so chose. If it turned out that Takumi felt more comfortable topping him, so be it.

It certainly seemed that was what Takumi wanted, because Ryousuke could feel the sensation of the fingers of one of Takumi's hands fumbling to unbutton the two buttons he'd done up on his polo shirt to expose more of his neck.

"Takumi, we should go..."

Takumi stopped moving his fingers and abruptly moved his hand back down to the roof of the FC. He tried to push himself off from Ryousuke's body, but the elder had other ideas and kept his grip firm and kissed him on his forehead. "We _should_ go," Ryousuke repeated, "but, you can feel free to continue where you left off."

"I can?" Takumi whispered.

"If that's how you want it..."

Takumi furrowed his brow. "I'm...I don't know...I do, but..."

Ryousuke gave a little squeeze to Takumi's ass as he leaned in toward his ear, nipping at the lobe then sucking on it. "Whatever pleases you...pleases me...remember that," he said into Takumi's ear. "However, you're creating a precarious situation for yourself, so tell me where we're going before I decide I can't wait and take you in the car."

 _What?!_

Takumi looked up with alarm and the elder only chuckled. "I'm kidding," Ryousuke said dryly which elicited a very pronounced sigh of relief from the younger man. "But I'm only kidding about the car," he added, removing his hands from the pockets of the jeans and sliding one of them into a front pocket instead, which caused Takumi to purse his lips tightly and squeeze his eyes closed, feeling the touch so close to his groin. Ryousuke enjoyed the reaction, and took out Takumi's keys. "Don't make me wait too long..."

Takumi took the keys from the slender fingers into his own hand. "Well, uh, my Dad will be out all night drinking with my old boss, so-"

Ryousuke kissed him roughly before Takumi could finish his sentence. When he was sure he had his lover's attention, he pulled back. "Absolutely not," Ryousuke said firmly. Takumi had an almost questioning look on his face, as though he didn't understand what the big deal about taking Ryousuke to his house was. But there was no way the elder was going to waive that last bastion of moral propriety. It would be the epitome of disrespect to do the things that he wanted to do inside the house of Takumi's only parent.

No matter how tough Takumi was, or that he didn't want to be treated like a kid, the fact remained that he _was_ still young. Ryousuke decided that he'd keep those thoughts to himself, however, and enjoy the fact that Takumi was willing to be so assertive. He really had no idea how sexy he was. Even if Takumi's boldness was an unconscious effort to prove that he wasn't young and could take matters into his own hands, he still lacked the experience. So Ryousuke thought that, instead of chastising himself over the difference in their ages, he'd maybe just nudge Takumi's thought process into a better direction. Perhaps he was still pushing his younger lover too far, but Takumi caught on quickly once he let his inhibitions go and his instinct and physical body took over. "I was thinking more along the lines of a hotel."

 _Idiot. I can't believe I said that! I guess I was just figuring it's close by and free and...idiot._

Takumi chuckled a little nervously, and he knew he was blushing. "Yeah...I didn't really think about that..."

"Surely you must know of a hotel or two around here," Ryousuke said into Takumi's hair after pulling him back down to his chest once more.

 _Yeah. I do know of a couple but...one was where I caught Mogi with that guy and the other...was where I went with her...and they're just love hotels...not fancy enough for Ryousuke. Shit. I can't afford a place fancy enough for him! What the hell am I supposed to do? And...two guys...together...at a place like that..._

"What's wrong, Takumi?"

"I, uh..."

"I'm not concerned with money," Ryousuke said. He could feel the tension building within Takumi's body as if it was flowing into his own.

"It's not that..."

"Okay."

"It's that, well, they're not really fancy places or anything."

Ryousuke emitted a small, light laugh. "It doesn't matter." The tension didn't release, though, and he wondered if there was some other reason why Takumi was hesitating. Then, he thought he might know. "Is it because you've gone there with someone else?" he said into Takumi's hair.

 _God, I'm pathetic._

When Takumi neither confirmed nor denied, the answer was plain enough. "I'm not concerned about that. Why do you think those places exist anyway?"

"I guess..."

"So we don't have to go to your Father's house, isn't that right?"

Takumi nodded. "Is it okay...two guys?"

Ryousuke kissed him on his forehead again and allowed him to pull back. "It's a business. They are there to make money. Trust me; they don't care who gives it to them, and my money's good last I checked. Now, get in that speedy blue Imp, and drive. You're the local around here, so I'll follow."

 _He's right. I'm being like a kid sometimes after all. Damn it._

Takumi quickly moved once more, grasping Ryousuke's shoulders and kissing him roughly before releasing him with panting breath. "You're wrong. I'm still following you, even if I'm in the lead."

Ryousuke's eyes widened, and the overwhelming sense of being unworthy of the beautiful creature standing before him came to him again. Again, his Downhill Ace managed to leave him speechless, because not even telling him the words would do justice to what Ryousuke felt in that instant; or in the moments, the hours, the days and months, of the last year he had known Fujiwara Takumi.

"Don't call it 'following' me, Ryousuke," Takumi said quietly as he slid into the driver's seat, the blush crossing his cheeks, "just, please watch me."

He closed the door and started the Impreza, and Ryousuke walked around to his own driver's seat. He started the FC, warming it up as Takumi did with the Subaru alongside him. When Ryousuke looked up to watch for Takumi to signal that he was about to leave, he drew in a quick breath.

Takumi was serious; the aura around the Impreza seemed to come instantly to life, and Ryousuke could feel it. He thought that he could almost _touch_ it, and then he realized, he already had. "I'll always watch you, Takumi," Ryousuke whispered as Takumi stepped hard on the accelerator and took off.

Takumi attacked Akina that night; and Ryousuke could barely keep up with the Impreza, even with the recent mods to the FC. It was all he could do to stick to his bumper, and, even if he had wanted to pass the Downhill Ace, the split-second calculations he made behind the wheel as he chased, looking for any possible opening, watching Takumi charge through every corner like an artist effortlessly wielding a brush, told him an undeniable truth.

If this had been a battle, Ryousuke would have lost. He thought he knew as much about Takumi's technique as almost anyone, but even that wasn't enough. Having a better FC than he had before wasn't enough. Having the ability to mentally win was simply...

Not. Enough.

Even though it was Takumi's home course, and even though he was chasing the Imp and not the hachi-roku, Ryousuke could see the vast improvement since the time they traveled down this road that one summer ago, and it was shocking. The simulation for being surpassed by his Downhill Ace was proved to be complete before his very eyes.

Amid the sound of constantly squealing tires and the roaring sounds of the two engines, blending into one sweet melody that echoed in his ears as he drove, Ryousuke felt the rush and excitement all over again, and, again, there was elation, relief even, that he was no longer the best on the street.

Ryousuke was one hundred percent certain:

Akina. Akagi. Ibaraki. Kanagawa. The location wouldn't matter anymore.

Ryousuke couldn't win a battle against Fujiwara Takumi _anywhere_. The goal had changed; it was no longer about winning at all, and maybe it never was. It was about learning about him, watching him, supporting him, and, for a while at least, loving him. He _did_ love him.

Everything, he thought, was finally as it should be.


	37. Chapter 37

Takahashi Residence, 10 Days Later, Tuesday, 5 PM

Ryousuke was studying quietly in his room, the ambient noise of the neighborhood filtering in slightly from his half-opened balcony door. He heard the little dog owned by their two-doors-down neighbors barking intermittently from the confines of the home's yard, undoubtedly having some conversation with a barely-heard dog from a house further down. The breeze was softly rustling the curtains of his room and the occasional family sedan driving down the lane provided muted punctuation to the canine conversation.

He had finally finished all of his actual assignments, but he kept studying anyway, well, sort of. He had realized several times that anticipation kept him looking at the clock in the corner of the computer screen a lot more than he was looking at his endocrinology textbook.

Then, just as he was about to close the book for good in favor of taking a nap, the moment he had been on pins and needles waiting for arrived with a ring of his cellphone, a sharp exclamation into the calm neighborhood noise.

"This is Ryousuke," he answered.

"Ryousuke-san, it's Matsumoto."

The prickly feeling intensified. "Well?"

"It's ready."

Ryousuke exhaled the breath that he didn't realize he was holding. "Are you sure," he asked calmly, hoping that his voice could disguise the elation and excitement he was starting to feel.

He heard a soft chuckle from Matsumoto on the other end. "Yes, Ryousuke-san," the chief confirmed, "We've finally got it right. It's ready for a shake-down."

He felt the corners of his mouth curl into a satisfied smile. "Wonderful. Let's take it for a spin down Akagi in the wee hours; since it's a weeknight, I don't think we will be seen."

"Indeed," Matsumoto returned, "We certainly don't want to ruin the surprise," he added, and Ryousuke could hear the smile in his voice as well.

The hachi-roku was resurrected once again.

"I'll come by about 2 AM; will that give you enough time for a well-earned rest?"

"Sure it will, not that I think I could," Matsumoto remarked tiredly. "I'll go home for a while and then meet you back here. Tomiguchi left about an hour ago while I was putting the finishing touch on the door."

Ryousuke knew that the chief was talking about the lettering for the "Fujiwara Tofu Shop (Private Vehicle)" sign that was part of the car's allure, even though the car wouldn't necessarily be used by Takumi for that purpose once he went pro. There was no way Ryousuke was going to skip adding it, despite having had to replace both doors on the old vehicle with reconditioned ones.

"Perfect," Ryousuke concluded. "I can't wait to drive it."

"I'll make sure we have the laptop hooked up while you drive to monitor how it behaves, but I think we have a great set-up here. I wish we hadn't come so close to the deadline on it, seeing as the meeting is tomorrow night, but that's how it goes, I guess."

"Yeah, Takumi will only have not quite two days to play with it before we head out Friday afternoon, but, given the way he drives, he should be fine."

"Oh, I'm sure he'll get to play all right, this is as good a drift-machine as it gets," Matsumoto agreed with a light laugh. More seriously, he added, "It's very different, though. It's not as powerful as his last engine, being back to a 1.6 liter unit; we have to make sure he understands that this car is more for showing off now and not for continuous serious runs."

"I know," Ryousuke commented with a bit of resignation. There had been no choice in the matter, really; even though they had filled all structural imperfections even down to the tiniest of the cracks, and replaced and repaired things from one end of the car to the other, it was impossible to fully negate the overall age of the vehicle and of some of the reconditioned parts they'd had to use. The fabricator still managed to follow the design he'd been given, and had come up with a custom engine similar in approximate power to the OEM 1.6L 16v Bluetop 4AG-EU that was in the car originally, but there would be no option for a supercharger without risking the structural integrity too quickly over time. Ryousuke had to err on the side of Takumi's safety and he reluctantly had made the decision to cancel the order for the supercharger.

However, as a drift car, the setup was focused on balance in order to display that exquisite drift that made anyone who saw it get awe-inspired goosebumps. He wouldn't be able to do serious time attack runs daily in it, but Ryousuke hoped that just having his own car back would show Takumi how important he was to the Project, and how important he had become to him as a person.

"Okay," Matsumoto affirmed. "I'll see you tonight, Ryousuke-san."

"I'll be there."

Ryousuke closed his book and his laptop and decided to try and take a nap for a few hours after all. The meeting was still set for the following day where he would disclose the plan for the Tokyo debut and press junket with Hot Version and other publications, and Ryousuke wanted for nothing more than for Takumi to be able to roll up to the meeting in his own hachi-roku. Ryousuke was also satisfied that they would not have to find a stand-in for the car for any pictures the press might want to take of the Aces in Tokyo.

He hadn't been able to see Takumi but twice over the ten days since that Saturday night on Akina when he'd really screwed up, but a couple of phone calls and almost daily text messages here and there of blissful nothingy-ness back and forth contented him. Whether he liked to admit it or not, this was definitely turning into a relationship, complete with spats and misunderstandings. In a way, those difficult moments helped him to understand his lover as much if not more than did the quiet, relaxing, and intimate ones. Ryousuke knew he wasn't good at relationships; none of his prior attempts could ever be called successful, or, really, most were not actual relationships in the first place. At least, he thought, if what he was experiencing with Takumi _was_ a relationship, Ryousuke was sure none of his previous involvements could be called the same. Although he knew he had been in love with Kaori, he now knew that what they had was too vague and tenuous to be remotely called a relationship, despite the fact that he thought it had been one at the time.

Rebelling against what was prudent and safe, he had resolved to hang on until the end for this dangerous ride. Though Takumi's wide range of emotions was very daunting for him to handle and understand, he was way stronger than Kaori had been, so Ryousuke didn't have a fear that he would suddenly become mentally unstable over him even if they argued. Normally, spats and misunderstandings would likely even themselves out over time in a relationship, he supposed, but, time was not something of which they really had. Perhaps that was why things were on such a breakneck pace; there wasn't time to settle into "normal" at all. Just like in a tough battle where he couldn't afford to take his foot of the accelerator, he couldn't afford to miss any moment with Takumi, regardless of what type of moment it was.

Even when Takumi had blown up at him, again, on that stupid night at Akina, they managed to find that understanding somewhere and put it past them. It seemed like Takumi had come to some sort of similar mindset: there wasn't time to have days-long arguments when their time could be better spent trying to learn everything about the other person. Again, that was daunting and dangerous too; each day the understanding, the trust, and the knowledge of that precious other person only deepened.

And each day, it was getting harder to accept that it would be gone sooner than later. The sense of that occurred especially when Takumi would assert himself. God, it had been years since Ryousuke had found himself even remotely considering letting a partner top him, but, with Takumi, he didn't even care about that anymore. In fact, he found that he was becoming more and more curious about what it would be like should it ever happen.

After watching him drive the Imp on the Akina downhill that night, the moments Ryousuke followed at legal speeds toward the hotel were some extremely impatient moments indeed. Apparently, the same held true for Takumi because he picked up right where he had left off at the observation point once they were inside the room, and Ryousuke felt like Takumi had come _this close_ to taking over completely.

For some reason, he didn't, though; right when Ryousuke thought for sure Takumi was going to be claiming _him_ , that unpredictable sexy thing did an abrupt 180, reversing their positions in bed with a challenge he simply could not refuse: "I thought you said you were possessive…"

Ryousuke's heretofore unknown possessive nature had been the crux of what led to their argument, and his lover turned it into a challenge to prove to him that it existed. It was as though he didn't believe it when Ryousuke had said it with words, but needed instead for him to say it physically with his body.

How could Ryousuke have possibly argued with that?

Now, many days later and ready for sleep, Ryousuke was about to settle in and relive the memory of what had turned into yet another passionate night in the bed of his downhiller; although they had visited a couple of times since, there wasn't time to spend the night together and Ryousuke was definitely missing it more than he thought he should. For tonight, the memory would have to serve. Before he could close his eyes, though, he heard Keisuke coming down the hall; he sat back up and fluffed up the pillows to use as a backrest and waited for the younger to knock. He quickly took a deep breath, and pressed a very much needed mental pause button on the playback of the memory, so that poor Keisuke would not figure out that he had just been laying there thinking about doing "this and that" with his friend.

"Aniki, I'm coming in," his brother announced. It was as though things were finally back to normal between them. If anything, Ryousuke thought, somewhat ruefully, Keisuke had taken to teasing him even more about Fujiwara over the last several days when it was just the two of them alone. But, he'd take that any day over the two of them being at odds. Overall, things just felt…right.

"Okay, come in."

Keisuke walked into the room and immediately noticed that Ryousuke had crawled into his plop-down spot on the bed. Appearing like he had gotten a bit startled out of a routine, Keisuke elected to sit in the desk chair. "Uh, I didn't know you were sleeping; the lights were still on. I can come back-"

"It's fine. I just got into bed."

"Oh, cool. Anyway, Aniki-"

"Keisuke," Ryousuke interrupted softly, "I'm wondering if you're free tonight, or, rather, early tomorrow morning."

"Eh? What for?"

"I want you to come to the shop with me; I'm planning to be there around two tomorrow morning. I want to show you something we've been working on lately."

Keisuke frowned, knitting his eyebrows together. "At that hour? Can't we just go now?"

"No, I'm going to sleep now," the elder replied, earning a slight "tch" from his brother. "What did you need?"

"Oh, yeah, uh," Keisuke began, fidgeting in the desk chair that he clearly felt was _not_ his regular seat at all, "I looked at some of the teams' presentation material. It's a lot to take in. How am I supposed to decide with all the options I have?"

Ryousuke smirked a little. "Must be nice…"

The younger brother rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. I might do better actually talking to their reps than just reading their canned sales pitches."

"We'll be getting to that very soon now, not to worry."

"I sure hope you're going to let us know what the heck is going on tomorrow. I'm antsy thinking you have something up your sleeve that you haven't told us. You're so fucking stingy!"

"Patience is a virtue."

"Yeah, yeah," Keisuke returned lightly. "You're still stingy."

"You'll find out when everyone else does, as usual. I'm going to take a nap for a few hours; plan to leave the house about 1:15 or 1:30."

"Who's driving?"

"You can drive."

"So now you're stingy with your gas too. I see how you are," the FD driver said with another light laugh.

"Keisuke," Ryousuke said softly, suddenly getting the urge to confirm that their closeness was back. "We're okay now, right…?"

Keisuke looked at him seriously. "Yeah, we are. I was being stupid. I don't care that you play for the other team or whatever. I used to know some guys like that who were, you know, pretty 'out' about it, so it's no big thing to me; I don't think it's like abnormal or gross or something. Honest."

"Okay." The answer satisfied him, but, by the look on his brother's face, it looked as though Keisuke wanted to talk more after all too. They hadn't actually talked _much_ about this seriously; Keisuke's preferred coping mechanism definitely was to make fun of him. He didn't look like he was about to do that, though, in this moment, so Ryousuke found that he was curious to hear what his brother's true thoughts really were. He figured when it got too much, Keisuke would ease his own tension by teasing him again, especially since he wisely felt like he couldn't tease Fujiwara about it without his rival losing his temper. So, Ryousuke wanted to listen and let Keisuke take the lead for a while.

"It just got weirded out because, well, it's you. And it's him, but mainly because it's _you_." He paused, seeing a thoughtful, if unreadable expression on the elder. "Aniki," he continued quietly, "I'm over it; it's…nice to see you happy." Again, he paused, looking for something he wasn't finding in his brother's face. "If the weirdo makes you happy, then who am I to tell you anything."

Keisuke fidgeted a little more in the desk chair before he settled into it a bit more comfortably, finding the "right spot" at last. Then, he did notice a change in the elder's expression; it was slight, and it was a relaxed look rarely seen, but now, at least fleetingly, seen more in recent days the more time his brother spent alone with Fujiwara. Was Fujiwara really all that? Keisuke still wasn't sure, but he was sure that his brother thought he was. So, he finally understood that his brother did deserve to have a chance to do what he wanted and be who he wanted to be for as long as he could.

"I admit that I'm pretty happy right now," Ryousuke confessed quietly. "Thanks for that, Keisuke."

Keisuke wasn't quite prepared for him to actually say the words, and he felt his own eyebrows raise in a silent question toward a now definitely relaxed looking older brother.

"I know," the elder responded to the silent question, "I didn't plan for this to happen."

"By 'this' do you mean your preferences, or do you mean you didn't plan on _him_?"

Ryousuke considered the now verbalized question carefully. "Both…neither…honestly, I spent my adolescence and young adulthood planning _around_ my 'preferences', as you put it, but I have learned that I can't plan at all when it comes to him."

"So? Don't plan then."

The elder rolled his eyes, but there was a half smile playing across his lips as he remembered Takumi telling him something very similar right before he pinned him to the car that night. He pressed that damn pause button again before the memory continued, thankful that he could finally talk to someone about this type of uncomfortable subject. He hadn't realized at all until very recently that specifically _not_ talking about it was causing a lot of extra unnecessary stress, because he had been so used to compartmentalizing things so much. He felt the smile slip into a slight frown.

Now that he realized it, though, it highlighted all those things he chose to ignore about the way he had dealt with people: the rushing about to cover his tracks, the hurt looks he occasionally saw cross the faces of a couple of partners that he dismissed as them trying to break the rules of a mutually agreed upon game, the stress of not sharing this level of intimacy with his brother for all this time…all of it was starting to come through with a clarity he could barely stand. God, he was such an asshole, and the sibling sitting across from him was such a treasure for allowing him to share these very private thoughts. "It is too terrifying to live without a plan."

Now it was Keisuke's turn to be thoughtful. "I'm not saying to stop being your annoying OCD self about _everything_."

Ryousuke felt the smile return in response to the younger's remarks. Keisuke sure knew him well; he supposed that he'd caused the otouto plenty of grief when he was desperately trying to get him out of the bosozoku lifestyle: so many plans, some successful, others not so much, all in an effort to bring Keisuke to this point in his life. _All_ of that took planning, and Keisuke going pro was the ultimate outcome. He simply shrugged in response, having no need in this moment to point out that planning was the essence of the entirety of that which was Project D.

A few more silent seconds passed between them, and Keisuke looked like he had more to say, but was trying to formulate the words carefully. "You know, I know you're _planning_ on ending this thing you have with him, but, maybe you should think your way out of it," he began, "Maybe you can get out of getting married somehow. You're smart, why can't you think of some simulation that can save face with the fam and still do what you want?" He ran his hands through his hair once, and shook his head a little. "If you're happy now, won't it be worse when it's over? Even I know how hard it is to walk away from…someone."

"I already know it will be, but I don't have options on this."

"Yeah, but you've hidden it pretty well up to this point, I'm your brother and I didn't even suspect. Last time I heard about someone you were interested in, it was that girl who died. I know you probably don't want to talk about that, and I don't know how she died, but I know you took it hard."

"That's settled now, and, yes, I took it hard and I still don't really want to talk about that. I made a lot of mistakes there." Plans failed him with Kaori too. How could he have planned for her to die by her own hand?

"Well, I'm sure whatever happened then happened for a reason, right? I'm guessing that was the last girl you were ever with, so, yeah, I suppose you'd have to had to try here and there to see if something could work for the future."

Ryousuke considered. He _had_ tried here and there, and it either ended up being just boring as all hell, or just pathetic. And then, Kaori happened. "It's getting harder to do that now, though."

"But if you seriously don't like women much, why bother? I mean, I was totally shocked to find that out, you know that, but this isn't the dark ages; the 'rents will probably not agree with you staying single forever, I get it. But I'm sure you can figure out a way to keep it quiet. It shouldn't be anyone's business, not even mine."

"Oh, I'm sure I could up to a point, and I have been," he affirmed with a little sigh. "Living like that is a little stressful though. For a partner, it would be even more stressful. I understand that now more than I did before."

"Yeah," Keisuke replied with a complimentary sigh of his own, "I guess it would be." The sentiment hung in the air and Keisuke looked as though he was getting ready to get up for a cigarette. Instead, though, he gave his brother a serious look. "Look. I know you really aren't free to be public about it, and if Fujiwara is going to be in the pros, he really can't either, right?" Seeing his brother nod, he continued, "There were a couple of the presentations I read over that had something in there about not disclosing relationships in public; but, it didn't matter what type of relationship, even down to getting married and having a kid. I imagine some of his might say the same type of thing."

"That's very true. It's a type of 'celebrity clause' lawyers like to put in these things, especially if sponsors want to use you as a spokesperson. It's often looked upon more favorably if the face of their product is portrayed to be young and single. We might be able to negotiate it somewhat, though."

Keisuke snorted. "I thought that stuff was just for teen models and pop groups and shit, and not in sports."

"Anyone can be an idol, and have an idol clause, Keisuke," Ryousuke gently responded. "Both of you will be on a much bigger stage…you both will be recognized even more now than when it was just you and me out on the street."

"Whatever. I still say it should be you and me. I'll never stop saying that, although,…he deserves it too. But, what I'm trying to say is, that if you're both in the same situation where nobody can know, what would it hurt to keep it going if both of you decided to accept that it had to be private? If even the racing teams don't want to hear a peep about their driver's relationships of _any_ sort, then what does it matter who Fujiwara sleeps with?"

"You are forgetting that there is no idol clause for becoming a doctor and working for our Father. There _is_ an expected marriage clause for that life, however."

Keisuke frowned, emitting an angry sounding "Tch".

"That's my reality, Keisuke, it always has been. It's not a surprise."

"Fuck that. You don't want that life. Everyone who knows you well knows that. I just want to keep seeing you the way you are now…even if I know it's because of _him_."

Ryousuke was touched. "So, you and Takumi…"

"We're fine now…I think. As much as I hate to admit it, I need that guy around to remind me to stay sharp. I'm almost not sure what I would do if he had decided not to go pro…"

"I think he made his decision about that some time ago," Ryousuke replied, thankful for the conversational shift. "He's not the type to advertise much, though."

"Tell me about it, but, I do think he's opening up a little more than he used to…I like it, but it makes me a little uneasy," Keisuke returned, running his fingers through his hair again and emitting a sort of nervous sound, but shifting suddenly to a mischievous air. He apparently was also ready for a shift in the thought line, and it was written all over his face. Ryousuke prepared himself for the increasingly common occurrence of being teased mercilessly.

"Are you going to start making fun of me again?" he asked as he saw Keisuke put on a wide and utterly shameless grin. 'Shit. Here it comes.'

"I probably need to watch out for that temper, and you _definitely_ should," Keisuke declared, pointing a finger right at his brother's nose.

"Yeah, don't I know it," the elder remarked, leaning his head back on the pillows and closing his eyes, forcing himself to keep the pause button on his intimate memories fully pressed. Now that Keisuke was staying in command of the conversation, Ryousuke knew that it would be going straight into the proverbial gutter.

"That's right," the otouto affirmed smugly, "Don't want you to be having any more semi-public lover's' quarrels. Was the make-up sex good at least? He was pretty mad so I bet he-"

"You can _leave_ now," Ryousuke interrupted with annoyance, opening his eyes enough to give his brother a sidelong look of mild disapproval. Gutter drop, achieved. Pause button on gutter memories: stay. Pressed.

It appeared that he couldn't totally hide the simultaneous feeling of amusement from his expression though, because Keisuke saw _something_ and laughed at him as he rose from the desk chair, whistling in an appreciative catcall-like way.

Sensing another opportunity for a light-hearted jab, the otouto quipped, "Is he wearing you out already?"

" _Keisuke!"_

"You sure you can keep up? I mean, you _are_ old compared to him and all his raging teenage hormones!" he babbled on relentlessly, gleefully, snickering at his own little jokes.

"I'm not _old,_ good _God,_ Keisuke, really!" Ryousuke retorted, exasperated, putting his face in his hands and wishing the otouto knew when the hell to quit, but not _quite_ able to avoid smirking a little to himself while his face was hidden from his brother's view. He had to admit, it _was_ impressive that Takumi and that sinfully beautiful body of his could be brought plenty of times in one night; maybe Keisuke was sort of right in a way…Stop. Of course he could keep up. He was twenty-four and _not_ old. He was only slightly robbing the cradle. Okay, maybe a tad more than "slightly". 'Ah, fuck. He _had_ to bring that up,' he thought dourly.

"All right, all right. I'll can it before my brain actually starts thinking about that for real," Keisuke relented, getting set to leave having apparently decided that he had tortured his brother _just_ enough to make it worth it. "I'll be up, just get me when you're ready."

"Okay, but, call me old again and I'll kill you," Ryousuke deadpanned, raising his head from his hands and, hopefully, displaying his patented frown of disapproval. Thank God his brother was going away, but it was not fast enough.

"Guess you _do_ have yourself a _feisty_ one!" Keisuke declared, slipping quickly out the door, just barely dodging the bed pillow Ryousuke threw at him. With that, the blonde sibling was gone with another snicker, only his hand appearing from the hallway with a wave around the almost-closed door before he closed it and went to his own room.

Ryousuke took another deep breath, got up and retrieved the pillow-missile, and set his alarm clock for a few hours later. Keisuke was definitely having plenty of fun at his expense, but it showed he'd at least accepted things as much as he could and, for that, Ryousuke was certainly grateful. Their earlier words together showed Keisuke's compassion and thoughtfulness. The teasing, however, was a bit immature, but then, the little brother hadn't had the chance to really tease him about stuff like this before, so Ryousuke figured he was probably getting it all in while the getting was good. It was harmless, and, honestly, it was definitely a relief that his brother had found a way to accept him and to accept Takumi as his friend again.

He hoped Keisuke would understand why he had repaired the hachi-roku and support that decision, and he hoped that by giving him a preview of the car on the shake-down that Keisuke would.

A few too-short hours later, Ryousuke was ready to go; he slept fitfully, the excitement of testing out the hachi-roku and of his remembrances was not completely ignored even in sleep. He walked down the hallway to Keisuke's room and knocked. "Keisuke, are you ready?"

He heard some shuffling and a mumbled "Yeah," before the door opened and a yawning otouto appeared in front of the chaos behind the door. They walked silently down to the garage and got into the FD for the drive to the shop. "Matsumoto will be meeting us there," Ryousuke said.

Keisuke grunted a little in reply, shaking off the remaining vestiges of a nap he had apparently taken as well. "Oh yeah?" he asked as he tapped the remote for the garage and started up the car.

Ryousuke nodded as his brother smoothly pulled the FD out of the garage and tapped the remote again. "You know I was only teasing you earlier, right, Aniki?" he asked.

"I know."

"Okay. I'm not saying anything out of disrespect for either of you or anything, you get that right?"

"I get it."

"It's fun to tease you."

"Oh, is it now?" Ryousuke grumbled from the passenger seat. "I'm so glad you're having fun," he added sarcastically.

"Your reactions are _priceless_. Subtle, but _priceless,_ " Keisuke affirmed, pulling a cigarette out and pressing the car lighter in. Once the lighter popped, he lit the cigarette and passed it to his brother before shifting.

Ryousuke just rolled his eyes in response to his brother's comments, but he took the cigarette. "Thanks."

They didn't usually smoke in their cars, but, if Keisuke offered, he wasn't going to refuse. He cracked the window open as Keisuke fished another one out of his pack and pressed the lighter again. He lit it up and tapped his own window button to allow for the smoke to escape.

"I don't have reactions," Ryousuke plainly offered at length and Keisuke almost choked on his cigarette smoke laughing again. That comment was supposed to tell his brother he could take a little teasing, but maybe not a lot. It didn't work.

"What a _riot_! Even that, _right there_ , is a reaction! Oh man, Aniki, you have it so bad oh my fucking God. Where has this _been_ all my life?!"

"Can you stop now, please?"

"Maybe I'm just getting started!" the sibling challenged.

"If you don't cease and desist _right now_ , I'll, grab your phone and impersonate you on a call to that lovely FD driver from Saitama you are still ' _not thinking'_ about, just to get you off my back."

Gotcha.

"Aw shit, don't bring that up! You _know_ I can't call that girl right now!" the otouto exclaimed with consternation coloring his voice.

"'All is fair in love and war', Keisuke, or did you somehow skip the reading of Don Quixote in school, hm?"

"All right, all right, Smart Guy, I'm done already! You don't need to bring Iwase into this conversation for crying out loud! Goddammit."

"But your reaction is _priceless_ , and, not so _subtle_ either, Dear Otouto."

They both looked at each other sternly for a second, and then laughed in spite of themselves. It was another moment sacred in this countdown of moments until Ryousuke had to move.

Before long, and after a bit more smalltalk unrelated to their significant-other statuses, they were quietly driving the last few blocks toward the shop; it wasn't terribly often that Ryousuke sat in the navi-seat of the FD with Keisuke, and he knew that it would be happening less and less as time went on. This was also an example of another thing that he was loathe to leave behind. Time was really running out; the hachi-roku being fixed was one of the last items on the checklist for Project D.

As he watched Keisuke work the gearbox and pedals of the FD while they drove at a mostly legal speed, Ryousuke felt that surge of pride that he'd felt over and over again as the Project went on to the end. Keisuke was such an amazing person, and Ryousuke was so happy that he'd found this much success; it was nothing short of a reward for his dedication, and a couple of minor miracles, that he lived long enough to achieve it. He was happy they could still joke around together too; even if he ended up being the punchline of most of it, it was still something he would treasure as their lives would take them down their very different paths. No matter that Keisuke had the compassion to try and suggest that Ryousuke come up with a different plan, the fact remained that there was a zero percent chance that their Father would allow it. None.

They pulled up to the shop seconds before Matsumoto's truck pulled in as well, the chief alighting from his vehicle with a can of coffee in hand and a spare can in his other hand. "Good…morning?" he greeted sheepishly through tired eyes. Ryousuke was so grateful for both of the chiefs, and he was relieved that his apology for his recent behavior toward them had been accepted.

"Yo," Keisuke responded.

Ryousuke got his keys out of his pocket and headed toward the shop entrance door. "Shall we go in?" he asked to the tired pair, feeling now wide awake himself, the delight over the reason for the shop visit now taking over.

A "Yup" from Keisuke and a nod from Matsumoto gave the answer and he turned the key in the lock and disarmed the security system. He walked to the door to the garage bay.

"Keisuke, why don't you go in first and turn on the lights?"

His brother shot him a questioning look, but shrugged and opened the door. He stepped inside and hit the switch as Ryousuke and Matsumoto filed in alongside him.

The lights flickered on and there it was. Yes, the car was there, but Ryousuke was looking at his brother's face to see his reaction. Keisuke blinked a couple of times, his jaw dropping with surprise and a very marked measure of disbelief toward what his eyes were showing him.

"A-aniki…what the…how the….Aniki?!"

Ryousuke chuckled a little. "Yeah."

Keisuke turned toward him, and Ryousuke could see that he was fighting back tears but his eyes were _smiling_ ; God he hoped Takumi would react like this.

"I had to do it, Keisuke, I hope you understand," he said softly.

Keisuke looked at Matsumoto who nodded in affirmation, then back to the car, then back to his brother again. "W-when…did you start this?" he asked quietly. Ryousuke thought he knew what he was getting at; he was wanting to know if this had happened "before" or "after" everything else had started with his friend.

"A few days after we towed it back."

Keisuke nodded his understanding that it was started "before" after all. He seemed to come to a satisfactory mental conclusion. "Yeah, I get it, Aniki; I knew you were upset about the car, I even sort of knew you had something up your sleeve, but I never imagined…I thought he said he didn't want you to…You've been working on this all this time then…"

"Actually, Matsumoto and Tomiguchi have been. With school and more work hours, I wasn't able to do as much myself as I had wanted to."

"He doesn't know about this either, does he?"

"No, he doesn't."

Keisuke looked a little confused. "How did you manage that? Isn't he wondering what happened to his car? If we've had it this whole time, he obviously knows that no one's requested a title from him."

"I asked his father if I could do it. He gave his permission, so I did. Honestly, I don't know if Takumi will agree with this, or what he thinks about what happened to the car; he hasn't mentioned it. I think Takumi knows and accepts that his skills are beyond this car now, but I'm sure he misses it."

Before he realized it, he'd spoken his lover's given name in front of Matsumoto, but Keisuke realized it and raised an eyebrow and cautioned him with a hushed "Aniki…?"

"I mean Fujiw-"

"It's all right, Ryousuke-san," Matsumoto interrupted quietly, with a nod to Keisuke to assuage the slight look of panic that briefly appeared on the face of the FD driver. "Don't correct yourself on my account."

"Matsumoto…" Ryousuke heard his own voice trail off. He had to suppose that Matsumoto might have figured something out somewhere along the line. Damn. But, he trusted Matsumoto implicitly; because of the FC, this wasn't the first "secret project" he'd worked on for him, and he knew all about Kaori and everything Ryousuke struggled with about her and with Houjou Rin; he hadn't breathed a word about it since the battle. Ryousuke had to trust and accept that the very big secret that he was involved personally with the Downhill Ace, too, would be safe with Matsumoto.

"I wanted to do this for him too," the chief continued, "I've grown very attached to him, and to this car. I wanted to see him behind the wheel of it again."

Ryousuke exhaled with relief, and he saw Keisuke's face brighten into a smile. He truly did not deserve these special people, not one bit, but he knew he would always treasure this time in his life, and the people who made his Dream reality.

"All right!" Keisuke proclaimed with renewed energy, rubbing his hands together, "What the hell are we standing around for? Let's get this _fossil_ fired up!"

Both Ryousuke and Matsumoto laughed a little, immediately feeding off Keisuke's natural energy. It was finally time to get behind the wheel.

Matsumoto went to the workbench to retrieve the laptop and Ryousuke pulled the keys out of a nearby rolling tool chest, tossing them to Keisuke who deftly caught them in mid-air.

Keisuke opened the driver's side door and released the hood lever, and Ryousuke opened the hood and propped it. God, the engine bay looked amazing; everything was polished and clean and the new block was like a sparkling diamond in a modest setting…No. He was not going to extend that analogy _any_ further, no matter how much Keisuke had poked and prodded his thoughts earlier about finding a way to prolong things with Takumi.

Much to his relief, Matsumoto appeared alongside him and hooked the wires of the laptop to the data ports and gave the thumbs up sign.

"All right, Keisuke. Start it up."

Keisuke turned the key and the hachi-roku came to life, shuddering a little but settling into a steady whir. Ryousuke was watching the data as it streamed over the computer screen. "Give it a little gas," he directed over the noise of the engine.

Keisuke pumped the accelerator and the data complied as well, showing that everything was within normal parameters at idle. "Well? How's it look?" the younger asked from the driver's seat as he leaned out of the still-opened door of the Trueno.

"Looks good," Matsumoto affirmed. "Cut it so I can unhook the laptop, Keisuke-san."

"OK."

The garage was quiet again and Keisuke alighted from the car, leaving the door open. "So…Akagi?"

Both Matsumoto and Ryousuke nodded, and Matsumoto went to the passenger side to place the laptop on his seat while he retrieved a small "just-in-case" toolbox. "Would you mind carrying the tools in the FD, Keisuke-san?"

"Sure, no problem," he agreed, taking the handle of the metal box.

"Let's go, then," Ryousuke concluded, smiling unabashedly.

"You're beaming like a kid at Christmas, Aniki!" his brother snickered. "Except, I guess _you're_ the one who's Santa Claus, aren't ya?"

"Hmm…are you suggesting I put a big red bow on it before I give it to him like they do on TV?"

"Hey that's a great idea!" Keisuke supplied happily. Good. Ryousuke was so relieved that Keisuke understood and was enjoying this moment with him. He really had grown. Again.

All three of the men laughed lightly, the excitement of getting the hachi-roku on the street again filling them all with anticipation.

Ryousuke slid into the small car and adjusted the seat and mirrors. Glancing over the dashboard to reacquaint himself, he brought the Panda to life as Keisuke opened the garage door. He put the car in gear and gently maneuvered it out into the parking area while Matsumoto walked up beside it and got into the passenger seat.

Keisuke locked up the shop while Ryousuke was giving the hachi-roku some good revs. When Keisuke gave the signal that he was ready, Ryousuke nodded toward Matsumoto and they were off to Akagi.

The hill climb, as expected, was uneventful. Ryousuke kept his ears trained on every sound the car made and Matsumoto was monitoring the laptop and observing the overall behavior of the handling. So far, so good.

Keisuke had long since reached the top by the time the underpowered hachi-roku arrived and was standing beside the FD smoking. "Well?" he asked expectantly as Ryousuke pulled up beside him and rolled down the window.

"About as expected on the climb."

"Was it stable though?"

"Very. I'm looking forward to taking it down; Matsumoto, how about 60%?"

"Go for it. Looking good here."

"All right, Keisuke, we'll be back."

"OK. Are you going to let me try it out?"

"Hmmm….maybe," Ryousuke said playfully, "Unless I'm having too much fun with it."

"Prick," Keisuke replied with a smile. "Get on with it!"

Ryousuke nodded and rolled the window back up, revving the car in earnest for the 60% run. "Matsumoto?"

"Ready when you are, Ryousuke-san."

"Let's go."

Ryousuke took the little car through the paces; the balance was excellent. The rear tires slid out almost effortlessly, but, boy, this car was a little sketchy to drive, even at 60%.

He could definitely understand why it had so many fans, but it was also definitely not the type of car that everyone could use. Much like the Honda S2000 driven by the God of Hand, there were probably only a handful of drivers out there who could truly master the hachi-roku.

What was it that Takumi had said? That's right; his father had told him that this car trains the driver.

As he drifted the car around the corners, it definitely felt like the car had a certain mind of its own; it didn't _quite_ react the way he expected it to when he drove the familiar pass. It was certainly not the FC; it was a much rougher ride, even at 60 percent of full strength. The suspension rig was new, but he could already feel it working hard to stabilize the little monster at each and every turn.

Amazing. How could that kid command this vehicle so smoothly when it was the type of ride that made it seem like the very walls of the cabin were only a hair's breadth away from the outside, ready to shatter and explode apart?

He arrived at the bottom, and turned back for another climb, discussing the readouts with the chief all the way. Everything checked out. Good.

After a few more runs, gradually stepping up the speed, and after letting Keisuke take it down once and listening to him moan and groan about how "friggin' long" it took to get it back up to the top, Ryousuke decided that it was time to crank it up to about 90%. He didn't want to go full bore; this was definitely not his car and he definitely was not a hachi-roku expert, but he had pretty much figured out the limits of it now, and he decided that he'd put it to the test as a true drift machine.

"All right, this is the last run. Keisuke, follow us down. 90%."

Keisuke raised his eyebrows. "I thought you were saying this was not a car for time attacks anymore," he commented with a frown.

"You're right. It's not, but a few semi-serious runs with it should be fine. I'm satisfied with how it's performed so far, so I need to take it through some rough high speed cornering because I know Takumi will at least do that on Akina from time to time."

"Yeah, okay. Be careful, Aniki. The car's barely out of surgery," he added with a wry grin.

Ryousuke chuckled. "Duly noted. Let's go."

Ryousuke readjusted the seat and mirrors after Keisuke's run back to where he thought they should be for himself. Matsumoto had one hand on the laptop and the other securely gripping the "oh-shit" bar.

"Are you holding on already, Matsumoto?" Ryousuke asked with a light laugh. "I promise I won't try to copy him. "

Matsumoto grinned. "I guess I'm just used to preparing myself this way in this car when I ride with him. I don't think I've told you this directly, but riding with him even at 70 or 80 percent in a practice run was like walking a high wire over a raging volcano. It feels so dangerous, yet, you can see his miraculous control…you're scared to death, yet, you aren't…it's actually kind of like a mashup of contradictions riding with him…"

"I'm hoping he'll show that to me before I move," Ryousuke whispered, having a good understanding of Matsumoto's reaction. That dangerous rush, that amazing artistry…that was the Fujiwara Zone, both behind the wheel and in all other ways too.

"I'm sure he will, Ryousuke-san," Matsumoto replied. Ryousuke continued to rev the Toyota, getting the feel of strength from the 1.6 liter engine under the hood, as if it the car itself was telling him to hurry up and put it in gear.

After a few more thoughtful seconds monitoring the laptop, Matsumoto quietly added, "I'm sure Kaori-san would be very happy for you these days."

Ryousuke closed his eyes again, revving the engine a little harder and thinking about Kaori, and then about Takumi, and about Houjou, and about Kaori again. She had been so beautiful. He had loved her. Then. But now…he only thanked her for giving him the Dream, that small Dream to take promising young drivers from Gunma and turn them into professional racers. Maybe she had a hand in sending Takumi his way in the first place. As a scientist, he didn't put much stock in the paranormal or in flights of fancy, but he couldn't deny that something profound had happened in the battle with Houjou Rin when he could smell her perfume and shampoo as if she were right there in the FC with him. It could have been a trick of memory combined with adrenaline and stress…or maybe not. He didn't know, but it probably helped to save their lives out there.

"Maybe I ought to tell her about him someday…"

"I think that's a good idea," the chief agreed, giving a nod that the readouts were good too.

"Thank you, Matsumoto,…for everything." He hoped that Matsumoto knew he wasn't only talking about the hachi-roku.

"He'll be happy. Don't doubt it, Ryousuke-san. He will."

"Let's go, then."

With that, the hahci-roku squealed off the start with Ryousuke at the wheel and with Keisuke right behind him in the FD.

* * *

Takahashi Residence, 10:00 AM Wednesday

The meeting was scheduled for 9:00 PM later in the evening. Ryousuke was busily gathering all the notes and reservations and schedules for the weekend's activities. It would be quite the show, the perfect debut for the Aces. He had prepared the statement for the website already as well; it was still getting tons of hits daily from fans searching for the slightest tidbit of information. So far, he'd only placed the date, time, and a GPS coordinate for the general location on the homepage with the tagline: "Be There to Witness the Dream".

The forum comments were afire with speculation, and he had uploaded several pictures of the Aces to his computer, ready to post after tonight's meeting; none were particularly close up, but the drivers were visible with their cars. All the selected photos were candid shots serruptitiously taken on their journeys by either Kenta or by Fumihiro. Those two had gotten extremely good at that, and there were some amazing photos in the lot. He picked a few for the website but selfishly decided to keep the rest for himself.

There was one photo, especially, that he would keep under tight wraps. It was the only time he took a photo himself, having practically grabbed Fumihiro's camera out of the rear of the van in order not to miss the moment as soon as he saw it happen.

It was a photo of Takumi before they set out for one of their practice runs from the cabin they had rented in Kanagawa. He was staring off into the distance toward Mt. Fuji as lights were beginning to illuminate the town below. The sun was setting and provided a stunning and luxurious backdrop to his casual t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. It was that faraway gaze in profile that looked so stunning against the muted light from the sky, his hand resting lightly on the roof of the hachi-roku; it was purely Takumi, that shy, crazy, odd, monster-driver-underneath-the-surface kid from the Akina togue. It was one of those instances that Ryousuke gave in to his whims, just a bit, and captured that moment in time. When he and Fumihiro reviewed the photos, Hiroshi thought that particular one should be the one for the website for the Downhill Ace. However, Ryousuke flatly dismissed it saying some bullshit about it being not framed well, and too abstract, and not showing enough of the car, blah blah blah.

There was no way he was going to let anyone else have that picture other than him. _No one_.

No one knew he had it printed out and kept it in in an unlabeled manila envelope in his desk drawer, carefully preserved with acid free paper to protect it. No one knew he placed a sim card with the original digital image taped to the inside of the envelope, just in case something ever happened to the print. No one knew anything about that.

The fact that a few people knew about them being together made it a little different now, but that photograph was still his and his treasure alone.

Maybe he really had been possessive of Fujiwara Takumi the whole damn time after all.

He pushed the thought of the photo aside, knowing it was safely tucked away among files of dossiers about other racers in various prefectures, among articles of interest torn out from car magazines over the years, and among a single item that had belonged to Kaori, a pen having a charm laced with Swarovski crystals dangling from two delicate gold chains at the end of it that she'd accidentally left in the FC the last time she had been in it.

Remembering that, he kept the thoughts alive for a moment more and opened the drawer, taking out both the envelope and the pen. God, he hadn't looked at that sparkly pen or thought about it in two years, and now he was wondering if there was a need to keep it anymore as he held it in his hand. Maybe he should give it back to her if he ever went to her grave again to tell her about someone else.

The envelope containing the photo of the "someone else" lay flat on his desk. It had been a much shorter while since he'd looked at that as well, but a while just the same. He slid it out of the envelope and peeled back the protective paper.

Stunning. Beautiful. _That_ was the Fujiwara Takumi he…

Loved.

The picture deserved to be displayed in a frame, but he wouldn't do it. Not only did he want to keep it for his eyes only, he knew he _had_ to. Something like that on open display might invite questions from people. People like his parents.

He slid the photo back into the protective paper, then back into the envelope. He replaced it into the drawer among his other notes about the Akina togue. He picked up the pen again, letting the charm dangle and sparkle in between his fingertips. "Kaori-san," he said aloud to himself, or maybe to her, "you left this in my car. I hope you will let me keep it a while longer before I return it to you. It might be a while, though, for me to figure out if I can do that…"

He placed the pen back in the drawer as well, but, instead of putting it in the back in the furthest corner where it was before, he put it in the Akina togue folder, even though he had never taken her there. He didn't know why he did that, and, for a second, he thought about moving it to the place in the drawer where it should go, but, instead, he closed the drawer. There was no need, he decided, to keep these two people he knew he loved apart, even if it was only in a drawer and in his own thoughts.

He returned his attention to the task at hand and printed out the itineraries for the trip. They would arrive in Tokyo at about 8 PM on Friday to practice at the venue. Fumihiro and Kenta would go on ahead and check them into their hotel while the Aces practiced.

The more he viewed the video of the venue, the more excited he got. Instead of a track or a public mountain road, the venue was somewhere in between. It was a parking structure of massive proportions with two symmetrical and cylindrically shaped towers at either end. The parking structure was attached to a large chemical plant that had gone under financially, but yet was still privately owned. His contacts from Hot Version had used it a few times for other features, and even some car manufacturers had used it to make commercials for their latest models.

The owners of the chemical plant had somehow found a small niche to recoup their obvious losses by renting it out for things like this, and Ryousuke was thrilled that he'd been able to talk his way into getting their hands on it.

The shape of the structure provided for almost continuous cornering on the towers, and the fact that the structure was so large made for a short but valid straight going across from one tower to the other. It was the perfect solution for a Tokyo location where it didn't matter that he couldn't install a supercharger on the hachi-roku. They could place cones at the midpoint of the eight levels to use the straight to cross over to finish down the other tower, with plenty of real estate left over for the galleries and the press.

He looked at the clock. He had spent part of the morning trying to figure out just how to give back the hachi-roku to Takumi; likely he would be planning to drive himself to the meeting and would have to borrow the Impreza. He thought about driving the hachi-roku to Takumi's workplace and just casually "being there" with it when his shift was over, but he didn't want to be so public after all, especially since he truly had no idea how his unpredictable downhiller would react. He'd either be thrilled or…what? It was a gamble, but, taking risks pretty much described everything that had happened with Takumi up to this point, so he rolled the dice, hoping that some of the luck they'd enjoyed throughout the Project would be with him when he delivered the car.

So, he'd settled on a plan; now all he had to do was put it into action, and he hoped that Fujiwara Bunta would go along with it.

With that, he scrolled through his phone and looked for the number for the Fujiwara Tofu shop. At this hour, Takumi would be safely away from the store at his job, and he hoped that a call placed now would be just after the store's "morning rush" which he figured would be pretty early. Thinking he had waited long enough, he dialed.

"Fujiwara Tofu Shop," the gruff sounding voice of Takumi's father came through the line.

"Hello, Fujiwara-san. This is Takahashi Ryousuke."

A pause, and, what he thought might be a drawn out exhalation of cigarette smoke. "Ah. Nii-chan. Takumi's at work; did that idiot forget to charge his phone again? Stupid ass."

Ryousuke smiled, now recognizing the deprecating way in which the father interacted and talked about his only son. "No, Sir, I wasn't calling for your son this morning. I was hoping I could have a few words with you, if you have a moment."

Another pause, another exhalation. "Oh? And what words would those be?"

Well, it was now or never. "The hachi-roku is ready, Sir, and I'd like to arrange to return it to your son for our meeting tonight."

"Ah. So you really went and did it."

"Yes. It's…a different type of car now, but I do hope that you and your son will appreciate how it is set up."

"Hmpf. So what the hell does giving the idiot his own car back have to do with me, Nii-chan?"

"I am happy that you asked," Ryousuke replied, trying to shake the feeling that he was being given a very thorough once-over, even through the phone. "I will need a small favor from you, if you would indulge me."

"What's that?"

"Fujiwara-san, I need you to make sure your son absolutely _cannot_ borrow your Impreza to drive to the meeting tonight."

The elder Fujiwara exhaled again, but Ryousuke was sure that he heard a stifled laugh. "Oh?" the man said. "And why's that?"

"I'd like to ensure that he will need a ride from someone to Takasaki this evening."

This time he definitely heard a laugh. "Aren't you the clever one…I should have expected as much."

"So, does that mean you agree?"

"….Yeah, I'll play along with your little brat's game this time."

"Thank you very much."

"Just be prepared for him to be pissed off when he calls to ask for a ride."

"I will be."

"Heh," came what sounded to Ryousuke to be a knowing response, followed by a little cough and, he assumed, another drag of his cigarette. "So…that idiot must be giving you a hard time by now I'm sure. How can you stand him?"

Ryousuke felt his own mouth drop open a little. "Uh, Fujiwara-san, I'm not sure I unders-…"

"Relax, Nii-chan. I know my kid and all I can say about this…whatever-it-is-you're-doing is: 'good luck'. You'll sure as hell need that and a few strong drinks if you keep hanging around him enough."

"Fujiwara-san…"

"That's my only comment about this thing for now. I don't wanna know anything else."

"…Understood…"

Another pause, another exhalation.

"Fujiwara-san," Ryousuke said quietly, "I…appreciate that you have allowed me to repair the hachi-roku. I hope that you and your son will be satisfied—"

"You will have a much harder road than he will if you don't end this soon, Nii-chan," Bunta interrupted firmly, "You need to consider your situation."

Ryousuke was stunned silent. What the hell _was_ this conversation?! What did Takumi's father think he _knew_? He couldn't help a slight tinge of panic from winding its way to his gut. It wasn't like he had any real experience talking to a parent of a lover before, and it pissed him off a little that his obvious inexperience in that area was as glaringly apparent to Takumi's father as a traffic sign would be. No. Stop. Breathe for a second. Okay.

"Fujiwara-san-"

"We'll talk later, that is, if it's you who will be bringing the hachi-roku."

Ryousuke couldn't win against this Fujiwara either, apparently. Feeling a little, or, a lot, uneasy about talking later, he had no choice but to put the notion aside for the moment and just stick to the plan. He'd have a few hours to prepare. It would be fine. Sure.

"Yes," he returned more assuredly, "I'll bring it around 6:30; I believe Takumi said he had the early shift today, so he should be home by then?"

"Hmpf."

 _Shit_. He forgot to keep it to "your son". _Shit!_ Why the hell couldn't he get it together with these people named Fujiwara?!

"Yeah, _Takumi_ will be back by then. I'll call him and tell him to bring the car home because I apparently need it suddenly."

Okay. He caught the emphasis, but there was no scolding that accompanied it, just another muffled snicker-exhalation. A little relief could be taken here. Okay.

"Thank you very much again, Fujiwara-san."

Click.

Ryousuke stared at his phone for a few seconds; God, what was going through the man's mind? Surely he didn't support their relationship. Surely it wouldn't be what he would want for his only son. Clearly, the man was waiting, and _expecting_ , for it to end. Soon. So why did Ryousuke not feel like he was about to get his ass kicked when he'd heard a few stories from Takumi to know that his father was certainly capable of doing it?

He knew he had to end it, but, how could he actually bring himself to do it? He couldn't do it yet; the happiness he figured never to have had crept into reality so naturally that he didn't notice until it was as easy as breath. It was just _there_ now, and he'd even been able to confide in Keisuke of it.

Was Keisuke on the right track? Could he create a simulation for a life with Takumi as not only a friend, but as a lover? A _permanent_ one?

No.

Stop. This train of thought was pointless.

Of course he couldn't do that. What the hell was he thinking? Takumi already had the expectation that this would not be lasting just as much as his father obviously had, so Ryousuke couldn't turn the tables on that now and call it fair play. Not this far into the game. Damn.

Maybe it _would_ be better for both of them if Ryousuke just got on that airplane and never looked back, even after he returned to Japan.

He filed the unpleasant reality check away and opened his books to study, waiting to hear from Takumi to call and ask for a ride to the meeting. As he read over the minutiae of alleles and other topics of the finer points of hematology, he started to feel the familiar sense of focus. He'd study. And study, and study.

He'd immerse himself in work until the phone would ring and the danger zone, the _Fujiwara Zone_ , would tempt him to think about needless, pointless, and _fruitless_ alternative simulations for his life.

* * *

Shibukawa Moving and Storage, 2 PM Wednesday.

"Why don't you take off, Fujiwara-kun? We're back to the warehouse now and I can finish up here," said Akinishi Kou, Takumi's truck-partner at the moving company.

"Thanks, Akinishi-san," Takumi replied, taking his phone from his pocket, annoyed that it had suddenly started buzzing every five minutes since about an hour earlier while he was on their last job, right in the middle of helping to move the biggest bed he'd ever seen into a room in a house that really wasn't quite big enough for it.

He looked at the caller ID. Ten missed calls from home. "Shitty Old Man. What the hell does he want so badly?" He dialed.

"Fujiwara Tof-"

"Hi, Dad."

"Idiot. Pick up your Goddamn phone when I call you. What if I was dying in a gutter or something?"

Takumi groaned. "If you were in a gutter you wouldn't be calling from the shop," he grumbled. Idiot Old Man. "Are you drunk or something? Isn't it a little early for that, even for you?"

"Shut up and listen, Dummy. When do you get off work?"

"I just did."

"Good. Bring my car back home. No stops along the way either. I need it."

"No can do, Dad. I already told you have have the final team meeting tonight and you already said I could borrow it," Takumi reminded his father. Was he getting forgetful? Maybe. He _was_ getting old after all.

"It's _my_ car. You're lucky I let a shitty driver like you even borrow it at all."

Takumi groaned again. He wasn't a shitty driver. Or, at least, he was a lot less shitty of a driver than he had been a year ago. Why did his father always have to say that? He was going pro, for crying out loud! "Come on, Dad, I was going to go hang out with Itsuki before the meeting. Why do you suddenly need the car now? There's no Chamber of Commerce meeting tonight. I _checked_!"

 _Take that, Shitty Old Man._

"I don't have to tell someone like you why I need my own car!" Bunta bellowed into the phone, causing Takumi to pull it away slightly with a wince to ease the voluminous assault to his ear.

"I have to drive to Takasaki for the meeting!" Takumi countered. Now he was really getting pissed. "I can't show up to a meeting with the team without a car, now can I?"

"Too bad, Idiot. Just hang up and call someone for a ride! Do I have to do everything for you?!"

"I can't do that!"

"Well, you're gonna have to!"

 _Shit._

Takumi's mind raced. Maybe Itsuki could give him a ride? But then, what would Itsuki do when he got there? He didn't want to think about babysitting Itsuki to prevent him from saying anything about that _certain thing_ he knew about in front of the other team members. No. Besides, he needed to pay attention: he knew that Ryousuke was planning to announce something big at this meeting, even if the elder man hadn't told him anything specific. It was just a feeling he had, and he couldn't shake it. He didn't think Ryousuke was planning another battle; the "course video" was of a parking structure for goodness' sake, how could the leader plan a battle when Takumi didn't even have his own car anymore? It wouldn't be right to suddenly switch to the Impreza at the very end, especially since the car belonged to the Shitty Old Man.

Life was so much easier when he had his own car. If only he hadn't been such a distracted idiot and destroyed it completely.

"Takumi!" his father shouted into the phone. "Stop spacing out all by yourself when I'm talking to you!"

"Shut up, I'm trying to think about who I can call for a ride!" Takumi shot back.

He heard an exhalation on the other end, likely from a freshly lit cigarette. "Just call Fancy-san and tell him he needs to pick you up if he wants you there."

" _Dad_!"

 _Fancy-san?! Really?!_

"I can't call _Ryousuke-san_ , he's probably working or getting ready for the meeting."

"Then call someone else, I don't give a shit. But bring the car back."

Click.

 _Goddamnit! What the hell should I do now?_

He decided to call Itsuki to tell him he couldn't hang out. Then, maybe, he could call Fumihiro to come pick him up? The older man did that before when the hachi-roku was in the shop to have the suspension repaired. Maybe that would work.

He dialed Itsuki as he got into the Impreza for his drive home.

"What's up?" Itsuki answered after the third ring.

"Hi, Itsuki. I can't hang out today; my idiot father decided he needs the car back so I have to go home."

"What?! Don't you have a meeting tonight?! How are you going to go to that?"

"I'm trying to figure that out. I think I'll have to call Fumihiro-san to pick me up."

"Aw man, that _sucks!"_

"Yeah," Takumi agreed with a sour feeling in his stomach. How embarrassing to have to call someone for a ride when he was supposed to be on the brink of becoming a professional driver.

 _I'm pathetic._

"You know," Itsuki said, lowering his voice to where Takumi could barely hear him as he was driving, "Why don't you just call Ryousuke-san to pick you up?"

 _You too, Itsuki? Why don't other people understand how busy Ryousuke is? I can't interrupt him with an errand like this; he's probably doing all sorts of last minute preparations for the meeting!_

"He's too busy," he answered plainly.

"Oh, so you already asked him?"

"No, I'm telling you I can't because he's probably too busy. Pay attention!"

Itsuki made kind of an exasperated noise on the other end of the call. "Just ask him before you decide that. What's the big deal? I know you text him and stuff, and you go out, so…"

"That's _different_!" Takumi interrupted hotly. "This is team business; he can't be going out of his way for me in front of everyone!"

"Well, I, shit, I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but, I'm not giving you a ride, Takumi, even if you beg and even if I would _love_ to go to your meeting with you. Think of my sacrifice and just friggin' call him!"

 _It's a conspiracy. First, the Shitty Old Man, now my best friend. Has everyone gone crazy and I haven't even noticed?_

"Fine," Takumi said in a pissed-off tone. "I'll call Fumihiro-san and ask him. Shit."

"Whatever," Itsuki replied. "Oh, but before you hang up, let me put you on speaker. Kenji-senpai wants to ask you something."

"Takumi?" came the voice of his senpai and a whole lot of annoying background noise. "Are you there?"

"Yeah," Takumi replied, not really in the mood to talk to everyone on speaker, but knowing that Kenji was still his senpai so he had to.

"I can't wait to find out what's happening this weekend! The Project D website is blowing up the internet!"

"Really? Still?"

"Oh my God, Takumi, don't you ever look at the website?!"

"Not really," he relented. He didn't have a computer at home and his phone took absolutely forever to load web pages. Besides, he was actually on the team and certainly knew more about what was going on besides what Ryousuke posted on the stupid website anyway. Right?

"Takumi," that was Iketani-senpai's voice now. Jeez. Didn't the gasoline stand have any customers his friends should be taking care of? "The website has had a very interesting teaser on the homepage for about a week now. Kenji's been digging around for info but he can only find speculation from other fans. Didn't the Takahashi brothers say anything to you about it?"

"No, but I'm sure I'll find out at the meeting," Takumi replied, now a little curious. What was Ryousuke planning? "So, uh, Kenji-senpai, what does it actually say?"

"Well, it gives a date, time, and a GPS coordinate that puts it in Tokyo somewhere."

"Tokyo?" Wait a minute. He hadn't heard anything about Tokyo. He couldn't tell from the video where this parking lot was. Were there any mountains there? He was a downhill specialist and all he had heard about Tokyo in the past from Keisuke were things about some of the racetracks and meet-ups they had near there. How the hell was that supposed to work for him? But, he didn't really know much about the big city; it intimidated him a little with all the crowds and noise, so he didn't particularly like to go there, even if he'd only been twice in his whole life.

"Yeah, and it has a very interesting tagline too," Kenji supplied. "It says 'Be There to Witness the Dream'. It's so cool! I'm sure that Takahashi Ryousuke came up with that!"

 _Dream. That's how Ryousuke responded in Kanagawa when they were asked to say what racing meant to them. This was Ryousuke's Dream. His Dream that was ending…and ours is beginning. I guess it would be very like Ryousuke to put something like that out there, saying nothing while saying everything all the time…._

Before Takumi could respond, Kenji was prattling on about some of the fan speculation, something about a Battle Between the Aces, or maybe a meet and greet with fans; Takumi had a hard time believing that, but, he had to admit he wasn't quite sure. He knew there was to be no "Battle Between the Aces"; he didn't even have a car! Of course, the general fans didn't know that.

"I don't know anything about it," he deadpanned as he pulled into the parking space beside the tofu shop and cut the engine. He stayed in the car, though, to finish the call because he was still royally pissed off that his father decided not to let him borrow it.

"Well, we managed to convince the Boss to let us have the day off," piped up Iketani-senpai, "So, we're all going to the big city even though we don't know what it's all about! It's exciting!"

"Yeah…" Great. Everyone was going to be there again. Takumi hoped that this would not turn out like it had when that team showed up at Akina with the Mustang and started all that shit. He was thrilled to learn after the fact that the teams had rescheduled their battle so it had occurred last week, Iketani had actually beaten the Mustang with his Silvia, though his senpai was modest about it, saying only that it was because he knew the course, and that the guy was pretty good, but still. The Speed Stars actually racked up a victory and that was definitely something to be proud of.

So, Takumi thought, they'd put that awful night past them, right? Takumi stayed clear of Akina the night of the battle, not wanting a repeat of what happened before, but his friends really weren't treating him all that differently, and he knew he had settled up with Ryousuke and with Keisuke too. It would be fine if they went to Tokyo. Probably.

Besides, he was sure that Fumihiro or Ryousuke would have booked them some place to stay, and it wasn't like they would extend that information to fans. According to what Kenji said, whatever it was that was happening was starting in the afternoon. They always raced at night, so…shit. What the hell was Ryousuke thinking?

God, how he wished he could get some inside information out of his lover, even if he knew it would piss Keisuke off to no end. Ryousuke was just too damn good about keeping some things to himself. Maybe Takumi could find a way to punish him for that later.

Before he realized it, Kenji was asking him another question and then saying "Hello? Helllooooo, Takumi? Are you still there?"

"Uh…yeah, sorry, I was just trying to think about what might be going on. I guess I'll find out later."

"You better tell us!" Itsuki exclaimed, "I'm giving up a day's pay for this!"

"Yeah yeah," he replied dispassionately, feeling a scowl come over his face as he saw the Shitty Old Man step out to stare at him as if asking why he wouldn't get out of the car. "Gotta go. My Dad's waiting."

"Ok," the Speed Stars answered, almost in unison. "Call me later!" Itsuki demanded before saying a quick "Bye" and hanging up.

Takumi closed his phone and got out of the car, holding the keys up for his Father to take. "I'm back," he grumbled.

"Welcome back, Idiot."

Takumi continued toward the door to the shop and was wondering why he heard his father shuffling behind him. "I thought you had some _urgent_ business with _your_ car?" he snarked.

"Oh, yeah, I'm gonna get some more smokes at the store in a bit."

"What?!" Takumi snapped. "You had me cancel my plans just for that? I could have stopped and bought you some and then gone out!"

"I still need that car here," Bunta replied sternly, "And watch your attitude, you little shit."

Takumi huffed in annoyance as he prepared to climb the stairs to his room.

"You get your ride yet?" Bunta implored, taking some delight in prolonging the torture of the "little brat's game" he'd agreed to play. Why not? Takumi was his kid, so he had the right to make him as miserable as possible. And, he thought, he didn't mind the thought of making Fancy-san squirm a little should he get a taste of Takumi's shity-ass temper when the kid finally figured out that he should just fucking call him. Not that he was encouraging this "thing" that was going on, but he certainly wanted to make sure he wouldn't make things totally painless for either of the brats.

"Not yet," Takumi hissed. "I'm going to call someone when I get up to my room, is that okay with you?"

"Fine. So who gets to be your chauffeur?"

"I'm going to call Fumihiro-san if you _must_ know. Remember? He picked me up here once before."

"Oh. I don't remember," Bunta replied, chuckling to himself. It looks like Fancy-san's plans were about to get wrecked by his son. God, the kid was even more dense than he thought! Even he himself thought that Takumi would be running upstairs to quietly talk on his phone with Takahashi as he had done a couple of times when he thought he was being secretive about it, when the father knew all too well what was going on with them. Whatever. But, something was telling him that this Ryousuke would not be pleased to have his plans gone awry by his kid stupidly calling some other brat to give him a ride. Maybe it would be a little hard to play the brat's game after all. This was why shit like this was supposed belong to brats! Why the hell had he let that smooth Fancy-san talk him into it?

"Yeah, I think you were drunk," Takumi muttered, making his way up the stairs. "I'm going to take a shower then call and I'll be out late."

Bunta sighed. Although it was against his better judgment to offer even the slightest bit of encouragement toward this… "thing" between his son and Fancy-san, he couldn't help but to be curious about what the elder Takahashi exactly did with the car, and he definitely wanted to check it out.

Sensing that his son was not going to cooperate, as usual, by calling the right person, he went to the shop phone and scrolled through the recent calls until he saw a number with a Takasaki exchange. According to the time stamp, that was the right number. He dialed.

Ryousuke was typing notes into his laptop, engrossed in his studying. He didn't notice his phone ring at first, then immediately he snapped his attention to the sound, picking it up. The caller ID confirmed it: the Fujiwara Tofu Shop was calling.

"This is Ryousuke," he answered.

"Listen, Nii-chan, you're little plan's about to hit the wall."

Ryousuke was startled to hear the voice of Takumi's father. No greetings, just cutting to the chase. He couldn't say he disliked that, but it was unnerving. He recovered quickly, though, not liking the sound of what the man said. "Why is that?" he asked cautiously.

"That idiot is going to call some other friend of yours to come and pick him up because he thinks you're too busy," he explained with a snort.

"Ah." Shit. Now what?

Before Ryousuke could formulate another thought, the elder Fujiwara spoke again, obviously trying to keep his voice low and out of his son's earshot. "This is your stupid game, and I agreed to play it, but I should have known that idiot would find a way to screw it up."

Ryousuke dared to chuckle a little. "That's all right, I can just bring the car to the meeting," he added, a little dejectedly.

"Not after you got me all curious about things, Nii-chan."

"Fujiwara-san?" Oh, dear Lord; had Takumi's father been stewing over their relationship preparing to kill him after all?

"The _car_ you idiot."

Oh. The car. Of course. What a relief. Wait. Did this guy just call him an _idiot_? Again, he had to recover. "Of course, I'd be happy to provide you the details concerning what we did with the hachi-roku," he quickly supplied, hoping his voice came out a lot less flustered than he was feeling.

"No time for that now. You're a smart brat. Just figure out how to get your ass over here with his car so I don't have to deal with this anymore."

Click.

What the…hell? Ryousuke didn't have time to dwell on another uneasy conversation with Takumi's father. He had to think fast. Who would Takumi call if not him? Keisuke? Matsumoto? No. Fumihiro. It had to be.

He quickly called Fumihiro's number.

"Hello?"

"Shiko, Ryousuke here."

"Hi, old friend. Is everything ready for tonight?"

"Almost. Look, I'll explain later, but Takumi is going to call you and ask if you can give him a lift for tonight's meeting."

"Huh?"

"Trust me. He'll call. When he does, make sure you tell him you can't do it, just make up something and tell him to call me."

"Why do I need to do that? What are you planning, Ryousuke?"

"You'll see…"

"Shit…that's my call waiting. He's calling me."

"Tell him you can't pick him up. Bye."

Fumihiro barely had a second to process a "What the hell?" as he switched over to Takumi's number before it went to voicemail.

"Hello?"

"Um..Fumihiro-san? This is Fujiwara…"

"Oh, hello, Fujiwara," Fumihiro greeted, trying to make sure it sounded like he wasn't expecting the call from the Downhill Ace. "What can I do for you?"

"Um, well, I really hate to ask this of you, but my dad needs to use his car tonight for something last minute. So, um, I can't get to the meeting. Would you be able to give me a ride? I'm so sorry for asking this…"

"Ah, please don't worry about asking that. But, I'm afraid I can't do it. I have a late-day meeting with an important client at work, so I was going to barely be on time for the meeting myself."

 _Shit. Now what?!_

"Oh," came a very dejected sounding response. "I'm sorry…I-"

"Just ask Ryousuke. He'll pick you up."

 _What?_

This was really getting to be like a conspiracy after all. Everyone was telling him to just call Ryousuke! This was business for the team, and not personal. Even for personal things, he usually just texted because no one could overhear a text. There were only a few times when he'd called Ryousuke at all. He supposed some part of him still clung to keeping Ryousuke as two different people: one, his team leader, and two, his lover. Or, was it the other way around now? He realized he wasn't sure about that. "Isn't Ryousuke-san busy getting ready for the meeting tonight? I don't want to disturb him…"

Fumihiro laughed lightly. It looked like even though there was definitely a relationship going on between the downhiller and his friend, that Takumi was still somewhat shy when it came to matters concerning the workings of the team. It was sort of endearing in a way how he adhered to the team hierarchy despite all that was going on outside of D. "Oh, I wouldn't worry about disturbing him. He's had all the plans locked down for a while now. You can ask him; if he's too busy, he'll just send Keisuke for you. No big deal."

"Oh, okay. If you're sure…"

"I'm sure. Look, Fujiwara, I'll see you later, and I'm sorry I couldn't get away to give you a lift. But, I'd like to tell you something, if I can."

"What's that, Fumihiro-san?" Takumi asked quietly.

"I think that you won't disturb Ryousuke should you call him at any time, ok?"

"…" He felt his face heat, but it seemed like Fumihiro was being kind, and not only to him. It made him just a little bit happy to hear him say those words.

"Just call him, Fujiwara. I'll see you soon."

"Okay…thank you…"

With that, the call ended and Takumi stared at his phone for a few seconds, still not sure if he would be bothering Ryousuke after all.

Ryousuke's phone beeped with a text from Fumihiro: "I told him to call you. What are you planning?"

He responded with his own text: "A big surprise." Send.

Beep. "You always were a sneaky little bastard. I think I know what's going on now."

"Yes; it's time to release our little Panda back into the wild." Send.

Not a moment later, his phone rang again. This time, it was the number he was hoping to see all day: Takumi's cell.

"Hello?" he answered as nonchalantly as he could manage.

"Hi," came the one-word response. Granted, they didn't usually talk on the phone, but the few times they did, the conversations were difficult, just the brief one-word responses like he used to to in person. Takumi was opening up more when they were physically near each other and talking, but, on the phone, Takumi seemed to retreat into his shyness more. Ryousuke couldn't quite figure that out, but he let it go. He'd prefer to talk to him in person anyway.

"Are you ready for tonight?" Ryousuke asked casually.

"Um…That's, uh, sort of what I needed to call you about."

"Oh? You're not ill, are you?" Ryousuke asked, laying it on thick, hoping Takumi had no inkling of anything afoot as big as what was actually going to happen.

"Oh! No, nothing like that!" the Ace answered hurriedly. "It's just my stupid _dad_!"

Okay. Now we were getting somewhere; Takumi had a perturbed edge to his voice that Ryousuke was starting to recognize. "What happened?"

"He told me he I couldn't borrow the Imp even after he knew I needed it tonight and already agreed to it. What a jerk!"

"Ah."

"So, I tried to get him to tell me what he needed it for, and boom. Nothing! I'm so pissed off. How can I show my face with the guys with no car?! Shitty Old Man."

'Yeah, he's pissed all right,' Ryousuke thought with an amused air, but trying not to give it away. "What are you going to do, Takumi? You need to be here, and it's not a request."

"I know! Damn it. So, now I need a stupid ride to the meeting. Talk about lame. What kind of driver am I who doesn't even have his own car?!"

"I see…" Ryousuke was barely containing his amusement now, keeping his responses as brief as Takumi's usually were. He sure hoped he wouldn't give anything away, but he was definitely enjoying that Takumi abandoned his one-word sentences on his own, even if it was because he was pissed.

"I asked Fumihiro-san, but he said he had a late meeting at work so…um…" his voice lost the edge and trailed off. Maybe Ryousuke should just put him out of his misery.

"That's fine, Takumi. I'll come get you."

"Ah!, Well, only if you're not too busy with the meeting agenda. Maybe Keisuke-san could-"

"No. I'm not busy; I'm done planning," Ryousuke said easily, knowing that the words applied both to the plan for the meeting and the plan to get the hachi-roku delivered to its rightful owner.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, but I might have to pick you up a little early for the meeting, is that okay?"

"Yeah, that's okay…what time?"

"Hmmm…about 6:30? Would that work?"

"Yeah…I'll make sure I'm ready."

"Okay…see you then."

With that, the plan was complete, and in a few short hours, he'd see the outcome. Hopefully, Takumi would understand and accept the hachi-roku and all that it represented.


	38. Chapter 38

Fujiwara Tofu Shop, Wednesday, 6:00 PM

Takumi had just gotten out of the shower and he was still royally pissed. He dried himself off and whisked a towel through his hair roughly before dashing across the narrow hallway back into his room to get dressed and to blast his head with an old hair dryer from some decade long since past.

 _Shitty Old Man._

The owner of that moniker indeed had left with the car, but came back after getting his cigarettes and beer from the convenience store. He'd settled into drinking, and Takumi was wondering what the hell was so important that he needed the car back, when he only went to the store and returned home immediately afterward. If he was already drinking, he couldn't be driving later; his father liked to tie one on with the best of them, but he never got behind the wheel drunk, probably just to make sure nothing happened to the car more than to himself. For some reason, his dad decided to be a dick today, and Takumi wracked his brain to try and figure out what he did to deserve it. He went to work. He delivered the tofu. He replaced the gas in the Imp. He and Iketani changed the oil the day before. What the hell did he do to deserve this? Wait. He was sleeping with a guy and his dad knew it. Was this the start of some kind of punishment routine that would last as long as would his relationship with Ryousuke? If it was, he knew he was going to be having a lot more dick-moves to deal with. Great.

The fact that his dad didn't seem like he was actually going to use the car angered him. Ryousuke was surely on his way by now, and it was too late to just take the Imp and tell the team leader he didn't need a ride afterall. Damn that Shitty Old Man! What was it going to look like when Ryousuke showed up to see the Subaru plainly available just sitting there in the damn parking space? What would he think?

Takumi's hair was mostly dry after a few minutes of searing heat from the ancient styling implement; he threw on his t-shirt, jeans, clean socks, and a couple of wristbands and grabbed his phone and wallet, placing both items into the pockets of his jeans.

At least he would get another chance to ride in the navi-seat of the FC. He'd been doing that more, too, and it was definitely not something to complain about. That, he supposed, should be worth getting pissed off at his Father, or having his father pissed off at him.

He went downstairs and sat down on the tatami at the table in the front room, not bothering to hide his glare which was currently directed toward the back of the newspaper.

"Aren't you going somewhere?" he asked curtly to man behind the paper.

"Changed my mind."

"Seriously?!" Takumi exclaimed with exasperation. "You made me get Ryousuke-san to pick me up!"

"I told you I didn't give a shit who you got to pick you up."

Takumi felt his face wrinkle up into a hardcore scowl. "He'll _see_ the car. Why don't you go out until we're gone at least."

"Nope. I'm three beers into my first six-pack, and your saving face with Nii-chan isn't important to me." Bunta was thankful for the paper so that his son didn't see him trying to stifle his laughter, but he wished he could see the look on his son's face too. But, he _really_ wanted to see the car. He supposed that he was still a car-guy at heart, and anything having to do with the hachi-roku still got him as excited as ever. He was also curious as to how Takumi would react; he hadn't said much about it after the car was towed away from the tofu shop, and Bunta knew it was probably pulsing away inside him like a dull ache. Hopefully, for Nii-chan's sake, he wouldn't do his famous "feel one way and act out in the opposite way" trick he tended to do. Bunta actually caught himself tempted to feel bad for Nii-chan if he were to do that.

Well, he supposed he'd get his answer soon enough as he heard a car pull up to the front of the store. It was definitely not a rotary, but he knew that it had to be that Takahashi. It had to be the hachi-roku too.

He put down the paper, noticing that Takumi was leaning back on his hands with a cross expression on his face as he watched TV. "Your ride's here, Idiot."

Takumi looked at the clock: 6:29. "Huh? I didn't hear his car. Must be someone else," he remarked absently.

Bunta sighed. God, his kid was such a moron. "Get up."

"What _now_ , Dad?!" Takumi whined.

"I said your ride's here. How long you gonna make him wait? I thought Fancy-san was always _busy_?"

"His name is _Ryousuke-san_ , and that's not him. I know what his car sounds like!"

"Just humor me and let's go check."

"Tch. _Fine_!"

 _Shitty Old Man._

Ryousuke had pulled the hachi-roku up to the shop and cut the engine. He took the keys out of the ignition and gripped them tightly within his hand. 'I hope you'll be okay with this, Takumi,' he thought to himself as he opened the door and alighted from the vehicle and closed the door again.

So far, no one was coming out; he wondered if he should go in, or just text Takumi to come out. He started to pull out his phone when he heard muffled sounds from within the shop.

Then, the door opened and Takumi strode across the threshold muttering something not-nice to his father.

Takumi stepped out fully, looked up, and then stopped dead in his tracks. His lips parted and his eyes widened impossibly, as he stared at the hachi-roku in disbelief. When he finally lifted his eyes to the car's driver, he was asking so many non-verbal questions all at once with his expressions that Ryousuke was having a hard time keeping his composure, even though he knew he needed to since the elder Fujiwara had stepped out as well, slightly behind his son.

"R-ryou…suke…-san?"

Ryousuke allowed himself to smile at his lover, even though they weren't alone. He tapped the roof of the hachi-roku lightly to confirm to his astonished downhiller that the car was definitely real. This moment, too, would be forever etched into Ryousuke's memory, with no photograph needed. It wasn't the smiling almost-tears of Keisuke, but the reaction was just right anyway. He saw Takumi's eyes watering, and those silent tears began to fall and he started swiping them away with the back of his hand, blinking as though he couldn't believe what he was seeing but was embarrassed to be crying in front of him. 'It's okay, Takumi,' Ryousuke thought, 'go ahead and cry; you're strong enough to cry.'

At that moment, Fujiwara senior moved closer to his son and tousled his hair. "Aren't you going to say anything, Idiot?" he asked softly, almost tenderly, to the emotional teenager beside him.

"W-why…did you do this?"

Ryousuke just continued to smile and walked a little closer to the Ace, but not before the elder Fujiwara clocked his son on the head with the palm of his hand exactly where the previous tender caress had been. Takumi recoiled slightly with a little "Ouch" and a mildly dirty look as he recovered his tears fully from the shock. "How 'bout a 'thank you', instead of a 'why' you brat. I raised you better than this!" the father scolded gently.

Suddenly, Takumi turned to his team leader and bowed low with a soft, yet heartfelt "Thank you very much, Ryousuke-san."

Ryousuke let a small chuckle escape as he handed Takumi the keys, encouraging his lover with a quick touch to his shoulder that he need not bow to him. "You know why I did this. It was my advice that caused the engine blow; I…couldn't leave it alone. I hope you understand that."

Takumi only nodded, but Ryousuke could almost see the thoughts playing wildly across the downhiller's expression. Undoubtedly some of those thoughts were probably about the money, who knew about this, who didn't know, et cetera.

"Dad," Takumi began, almost to himself, "you…knew about this?"

"Hmpf. Nii-chan made me an offer to fix your car in exchange for not telling you. Seemed like a truly lopsided deal in my favor, so how could I refuse?"

 _You knew all along, didn't you Dad? And Ryousuke…this whole time…you were doing this for me, from even before I kissed you…_

"Y-you…didn't have to do this, Ryousuke-san, it was my fault. I own that."

"I know you do. And, I also know that you correctly realize that your future must lie beyond the limits of the hachi-roku. But, I didn't want you to finish out our game without it either, since it was this car that brought you so far."

"But-" he began to protest again.

"Why don't you take it for a spin?" Ryousuke interrupted gently, "We have time before the meeting after all."

 _So that's why you said you had to come early. Because you were driving my precious hachi-roku back to me…that's why Dad told me I couldn't use the car…you probably called ahead and asked him to do that. I can't believe he went along with it, but I guess he loves this car too…you planned all this for me…_

Ryousuke could tell that his lover was deep in thought. His reverie completed, Takumi nodded and walked over to the hachi-roku. He reached out a hand, ostensibly to put it on the roof of the car, but he stopped just before his hand touched the metal, as if unsure that he would actually touch it and not see his hand pass through some kind of mirage. He did touch it, though, and he closed his eyes, because a couple of tears fell again. Beautiful.

"Before you drive," Ryousuke continued, glancing toward the elder Fujiwara to include him in the conversation as well, "You need to look under the hood."

Takumi threw another non-verbal questioning gaze to him before he opened the car door and leaned down to pull the lever of the hood release.

All three men went around to the front of the car and Ryousuke propped the hood open. He looked toward each of the Fujiwara men and saw understanding wash over both of their faces.

"The racing engine could not be salvaged, Takumi-kun," he began quietly, wanting desperately to call him by his given name, but still wanting to be respectful of his lover's father standing right there next to him. He figured the addition of the diminutive honorific would be a fair compromise in this moment.

He saw Takumi nod and heard a faint huffing sound from his father. "I know that was a very special engine to both of you, but, we came up with something that I think will be very special too. I had it built by a fabricator to be very much like the engine that was in your car originally. I'm sure you understand what that means."

"Yes," came the simple response.

"This car can't be used in a real battle anymore, not regularly anyway."

"I know."

Silence reigned for a few moments as the trio gave the engine bay a very thorough once over with their eyes.

"Why don't you start it up and let's have a listen, shall we?"

"O-okay…"

Takumi went back to the driver's side and, in a few seconds, Ryousuke heard the sound of the seat being adjusted, and then the key turned in the ignition. The engine came to life and Ryousuke noticed the pique of interest in the elder Fujiwara. The younger Fujiwara remained in the car for the moment, and Ryousuke found himself to be alone with his lover's father in front of the raised hood, out of sight and, likely, out of earshot of the younger.

"Fujiwara-san, I feel that I need to tell you that this car absolutely cannot take a larger capacity engine anymore. The 1.6 is about the limit now."

"Hmpf."

"There were…a lot of structural cracks in the car," Ryousuke confessed. "We've filled them all, but…they _will_ reappear over time."

"Hmpf," the elder repeated. Ryousuke wasn't sure he had been heard.

"Fujiwara-san-"

"Yeah, I guess the body would be about gone by this point. We both drove it hard," the elder finally acknowledged.

"Yes."

"Was it…really bad?" the Father asked as quietly as possible over the noise of the engine and of Takumi gingerly revving it from inside the car.

Ryousuke wondered how he should answer that question. He knew the man needed to understand fully the condition of the car, even though it brought back that horrific feeling he had when they were going over the car under magnification, knowing that Takumi had been behind the wheel when the car was in that state.

"Yes, Sir. It was…really bad."

Repeating Fujiwara's own words was really all he could do, being unwilling to have his lover's father experience the absolute horror he felt when he saw it for himself when they'd taken the car to have it examined, and he hoped that the elder man understood. A quick nod told him he did. "You repaired that too…"

"…I had to…your son's safety is very important to me," he dared to honestly reply.

"Musta cost you a fortune…"

Ryousuke smiled a little. "More like a necessary expense," he said, trying to downplay the obvious.

"Hmpf."

"We…did have to disassemble the entire chassis."

At that statement, the elder Fujiwara looked at him, or, at least Ryousuke thought he did. "You took it apart?"

"We had to do that. It…was necessary to rectify the structural wear and damage…"

"I see. What else?"

"I'll provide your son a list of all the specs. We had to replace some parts with reconditioned ones, but many are new, including the engine. I had it custom built for this car alone according to a design I came up with."

"You are quite something, Nii-chan," Fujiwara senior remarked, apparently having seen enough, because he lowered the hood. Takumi was still in the car looking around the inside, as if noticing all of the replacements, right down to the single cup holder affixed to the dash. He looked up and opened the door, leaving the car to idle as he stepped out.

"Well?" Ryousuke queried, feeling satisfied that the car was accepted by the Father.

"It's…a good car. I can tell."

Perfect.

"All right, then, go and take it for a drive. We have time."

 _I want you with me. Now._

"Come with me, Ryousuke-san. Please."

Ryousuke looked from his lover to the elder Fujiwara who proceeded to light up a cigarette pulled from his shirt pocket before meeting his gaze. "With your permission, Fujiwara-san."

Fujiwara Bunta exhaled, and the long plume of smoke drifted lazily above his shoulder. "I guess we can have a chat some other time, Nii-chan."

"Thank you very much for giving me this opportunity," Ryousuke replied with a respectful bow, a little relieved that he could postpone any more conversation with Takumi's father for now, having a wish only to join his lover in that special car that had truly been a labor of love to repair. He raised himself and gave an appreciative nod to the elder.

"Get outta here you Brats. Be home in time for the delivery, Takumi."

"Thanks, Dad," his son mumbled as he got back into the driver's seat. Ryousuke bowed again and went to the passenger side and waited for Takumi to release the door-lock.

Once inside, and with seatbelt fastened, Ryousuke looked over at his beautiful downhiller. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

Takumi released the brake and put the car in gear without another word, and, before long, they were climbing up the slopes of Akina. Takumi was still getting used to the set-up, but with every passing meter he was settling in and was already starting to push the hachi-roku a little on the climb.

"We've set it up as a drift car," Ryousuke offered. "I hope you'll like it."

"Yeah…"

He was in full concentration and Ryousuke decided not to interrupt him for the remainder of the hill climb, allowing Takumi to adjust to the "feel" of a very different hachi-roku.

Once they arrived at the top, Takumi cut the engine and turned to face him. "So you were the one who took the car from my house."

"Yes, with your father's permission, of course."

"But it's my car."

"I know, sorry about that…"

Takumi considered. So that's why it had looked like Ryousuke had already met his father when he dropped him off that first time.

 _He played this off the whole time without me knowing, just so I could get my hachi-roku back._

"Don't be sorry."

"Okay."

The tickdown of the new engine could be heard faintly from inside the car and a couple of other cars passed them, but Akina was quiet even at this hour, and mostly devoid of other traffic. The sun was heading toward a lower part of the sky, but they would have plenty of time to take the car down and make the drive to Takasaki. Takumi sat in silence, absently touching various parts of the interior, recognizing things that were slightly different, yet still same enough.

"I didn't think you liked surprises," he said at length.

"I told you before, I like them when they involve you."

Takumi was silent again. "H-how much did this cost?" he finally whispered.

"I'm not telling you that."

"Why not?" Takumi implored, his pride coming through. This was one of the things Ryousuke had assumed might occur. "I know we were close to the Project's budget limit at the end, I heard Fumihiro-san telling you that after you bought the last van and the scooter."

"We sold three of the vans back. That put us back in the black, so to speak." Takumi didn't need to know that Ryousuke had spent some of the van money and a whole bunch of his own personal resources besides.

"But then you did _this_. I know you spent more on the hachi-roku in the first place, and now, you went and-"

Ryousuke quieted his lover with a soft kiss on his lips, chaste, but telling him with certainty that it was the end of that discussion. "Do I have your attention?" he asked, raising a hand to brush a few errant strands of Takumi's hair that had fallen a little on his forehead. His downhiller closed his eyes at the gesture and nodded, a pink hue crossing his cheeks. "It's my gift to you for playing my game, for living my Dream."

Takumi's closed eyes were beginning to water again, but he blinked the moisture back before leaning in to kiss Ryousuke on his own, nibbling gently on his lower lip to ask for entrance. Ryousuke granted it, and he could feel the emotions of pride and affection and respect transferring through the rolling warmth of his lover's mouth and tongue.

When the kiss lapsed, Takumi had that look of determination in his now-opened eyes. "I'll take very good care of this car."

"I know you will."

"I'm going to take it back down now."

"Okay."

"Saying thank you doesn't seem enough, but…thank you. For everything."

Ryousuke touched his lover's cheek again. "Every day that we can be like this is thanks enough, Takumi. Please remember that."

 _I will always remember this day…all the days…all the races…all the everything…_

Takumi nodded again and turned the key in the ignition, revving the engine for a first run on the downhill of the Akina togue. "I'm going to do about 70 percent, Ryousuke, so I can get used to it. It's still kind of early, so I have to look out for regular cars too."

"Sounds good."

"Ok. Here we go."

With that, Takumi hit the gas and the little car was off on its most oft-traveled route. Immediately, Ryousuke could see the miniscule adjustments Takumi made behind the wheel; his lines were already within millimeters of the best line, and he was already getting within centimeters of the guardrails.

Unbelievably, after the first three corners, he picked up the pace a little and executed perfect drifts with nothing but a little half-smile on his face to show that he was expending any effort at all. The overspeed bell started ringing.

 _Oh. I haven't heard that sound in a while._

"Hmm…it really slides easy…"

Ryousuke laughed a little. "If you say so."

Takumi shot him a quick glance before wrangling the compact into another perfect drift before the skate park straightaway, nonplussed toward getting honked at by a regular car on the other side of the road. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked while he floored it down the straight, causing the overspeed bell to start dinging away again.

"I'll tell you at the bottom," Ryousuke cryptically answered as Takumi prepared for the first of the five consecutive hairpins. No matter the miraculous first-drive at _70-ish_ percent, Ryousuke was sure his lover was not fully used to the car. He would need to concentrate to handle the hairpins.

He sailed through them effortlessly, though, now definitely a little over the 70% of full strength threshold he claimed to be doing. Like a child playing with a toy, he pushed through the final corners before lifting his foot and turning into the parking area at the bottom of the hill where he brought the hachi-roku to a graceful stop.

"Well?" Ryousuke asked, "What do you think?"

Takumi sat back in the seat, pulling the e-brake and taking his hands off the wheel and gearshift before placing them in his lap. He closed his eyes again, listening to the car idling away. "Having less power makes things more fun sometimes. You can play around without any stress."

Ryousuke chuckled. If there ever was a "typical" Takumi answer, that was probably it. "Power isn't everything on the togue, we both know that. How was the handling? I'm sure we can get Matsumoto to make some adjustments for you."

"No, let me work with this for a little bit; I have to admit, it really slides well, but, I'm thinking it makes it a little too easy, don't you?"

The elder shook his head. "All right, Takumi, I have a little confession to make."

"Eh?"

"We finished the car only yesterday and I took it out for a shakedown last night on Akagi. I hope you don't mind that I drove your car…"

"No, of course not."

 _Damn. I wish I could have seen that._

"This car is many things, but _easy_ to drive is not one of them."

Takumi shrugged a little dismissively. "But drifting is really easy in it they way you set it up; it's not fighting me at all."

"Interesting," Ryousuke commented, with that little sparkle of mischief in his eyes. "This thing fought me the whole way down Akagi. I don't think your car likes me very much."

 _Now I find that hard to believe. And anyway, I'm the one who likes you very much. I want to tell him, even if I know I shouldn't…maybe I can tell him, without telling him, like he does with me…_

A smile and a soft laugh finally escaped his downhiller, and it was so beautiful to see. His expression then turned to a thoughtful one.

 _I want him to know how happy I am, how grateful I am….I was totally stressed about not having this car anymore and he took that all away. I want him to know that I…want to be with him tonight…I'm going to say something. He'll get it._

"Well, the _driver_ is in charge of the car," Takumi began, keeping his tone steady, "so, I guess it's up to the driver whether or not the car likes you." He stole a glance toward his lover's face.

 _There, I said it, and I don't care if he knows what I'm really thinking about. He looks…happy…_

"Is that so?" God, was Takumi _flirting_ with him? How much more sexy could this guy get?

"Yeah."

"So what does the 'driver' say? Hypothetically speaking, of course," Ryousuke supplied playfully, moving his right hand to rest on his lover's thigh.

 _Oh he's figured it out already. Thank God._

"Hmm," Takumi mock-considered, moving his own hand to cover Ryousuke's and trying not to reveal how quickly his heart started beating. "Hypothetically speaking…a driver of this car should like you."

"I see. So, how about _practically_ speaking…"

 _Yeah, he gets it. I do like this side of him, and, for a while longer, he is only showing this to me…_

"Practically speaking…the _current_ driver of this car hopes our meeting will be kind of short tonight."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. The current driver of this car might have to drive you somewhere after the meeting in it."

"Hmm…I think that can be arranged…"

"Good." Takumi removed his hand from Ryousuke's, preparing to release the e-brake and put the car in gear for the drive to Takasaki.

 _I need to stop now, or I won't be able to concentrate at the meeting at all. Time to change the subject._

"Let's go to the meeting so you can tell me the rest of what you are planning, then. My friends were freaking out over the website."

Ryousuke just smirked. "This final outing should be a lot of fun."

"If I can drive my hachi-roku it will be."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."


	39. Chapter 39

En Route to Shibukawa, One Month Later, September

Ryousuke was driving the FC to Shibukawa from Maebashi after another grueling day at the university hospital, his destination the now somewhat-familiar Fujiwara Tofu Shop. The last month had been incredible; the trip to Tokyo had been a success and Project D had officially ended its run. After the expedition, Ryousuke compiled all of his notes, all of his charts, graphs, and their corresponding explanations, and typed up his Theory of Fastest Speed on Public Roads. He'd sent it off to Hot Version magazine, as well as to a couple of other periodicals, and was gratified by the enthusiastic and quick response he received for it. A sports publishing firm wanted to put it into a book, and Ryousuke had been able to get his Father to agree to letting him publish it by making it so that all the proceeds from the sales went to their family's charitable foundation for pediatric cancer research.

That, and the _huge_ success of the Tokyo trip, had led to an in-depth article in Hot Version, featuring the Double Aces in a pictorial, as well as excerpts from the Theory. The scouts that he knew had come to Tokyo to take a look at Keisuke and Takumi had obviously liked what they had seen, and sent favorably-revised offers for both of the Aces. There were a couple of new ones thrown into the mix as well. His brother and his lover had seemed at first to be a little overwhelmed at the debut with all of the fan attention and the over-the-top production elements that Hot Version had put into it. They had supplied a big screen showing clips of their battles taken by fans from the galleries edited together, obviously ripped from submissions to the fan forum on the website. The videos were put to fast-paced music and the fans went crazy over that until the real cars came flying by them in the parking structure which made them go even crazier.

Keisuke was able to recover almost instantly from the initial shock of the scale of the fan-madness, soaking up the atmosphere and going along with the excitement. Takumi lagged a bit behind in that area, as expected, choosing to just wave here and there and half-smile when gallery girls called out his name to get his attention. There were more than one panic-laced glances thrown Ryousuke's way from his lover that he reassured with confident nods back to him. This was the Aces' moment, and he was more than happy to see how well they were received by fans and industry insiders alike.

Even though he could have done with a _lot_ fewer gallery girls screaming his lover's name, Ryousuke was delighted with the turnout; it was way beyond what he had expected, the Tokyo highway police having had to turn people away from time to time for crowd control. He'd given video cameras to several people along the length of the parking structure to take video of the Aces at the debut for the final posts to the website, and he had watched the footage so many times, he could see it in his head and hear the noise. He could feel the tension between his brother and Takumi, despite the debut being a performance and not a real battle. Their rivalry would still push them forward, even though they wouldn't always be competing in the same races.

That performance was beyond the level of many of the pros they would soon be facing. No fewer than four teams now wanted Takumi and an incredible six different teams wanted Keisuke to sign. At first, Takumi was dissatisfied that he didn't get as many offers as did Keisuke, but Ryousuke wasn't surprised in the least. Takumi's skills were more suited to the Rally and Drift-1 scene, and given that he drove a hachi-roku, it came as no surprise to him that the professional teams that were all about showcasing the manufacturer's' latest models of cars and equipment were a little skeptical of the guy who had made his reputation on the street in the much older car. Ryousuke assured Takumi it was because they were simply not looking deeply enough, and that the teams that did show an interest were incredible teams who had courage to take him on as a driver when they weren't sure how he would fare behind the wheel of the newer cars. They were the ones who could see that pure skill and recognize that Takumi could be placed behind the wheel of virtually any car at all.

Takumi still hadn't been satisfied, but he had accepted Ryousuke's reasoning, and had taken the proposed contracts from the teams to talk them over with his father. Ryousuke knew that these final steps were vital to Takumi's security, and he definitely wanted the final decision to remain with Takumi and his family of one: Fujiwara Bunta, that man who had Ryousuke's mind spinning with a faint uneasiness and curiosity every time he thought about him. Clearly, this was going on far longer than Takumi's father had probably preferred, yet, he did nothing to stop it. Ryousuke did not have any sort of explanation for that, given how he himself was raised.

However, he chose to immerse himself in getting the Aces pointed in the right direction instead of spending time on simulations for his own future life, and that had brought to him the sensations of both excitement and relief.

He'd helped Takumi with some of the legal terminology of the contracts, and he'd helped to explain the necessities of life insurance and the other legalities that each contract had within them. He was adamant that Takumi and his Father make the decision together, that they would decide which team would be the best overall fit. Once that had been done, Ryousuke was to contact the representatives from the team to meet and sign the agreement, and offer any other advice or recommendations should Takumi need it.

Ryousuke had left Takumi alone for a whole week so that he could concentrate on talking things over with his father, and, even if it was the right thing to do, he couldn't help the happiness and relief he felt that he was on his way to see his beautiful lover again. On this drive over to Shibukawa, he wanted to enjoy reliving some of the recent memories he had made with Takumi in the month that had passed since the debut, and he couldn't erase the smile that seemed to be permanently plastered upon his face. Their involvement _was_ a relationship, complete with actual _dating_ , of all things, and, even if Ryousuke didn't want to admit to that part 100%, that's exactly what it was.

They had gotten so close so fast, and Ryousuke still had the sense that it was reckless and dangerous to just go along for the ride, but he'd done it anyway. That closeness ensured that they could get frustrated and even pissed off with each other at times, and at other times, be able to sit in silence for lengths of time in an atmosphere of complete bliss. It was a relationship, a _serious_ one, whether he liked it or not, bumps and bruises and all. But Ryousuke did like it. A lot. It matured fast, like Takumi's exceptionally accelerated learning curve behind the wheel, and before Ryousuke knew it, the month had gone by and summer had faded into autumn, and he barely remembered the time before they had gotten involved at all.

Time was definitely running out, and Ryousuke tried with each passing day to find some other simulation to prevent that from happening. It wasn't working.

His parents had both been bothering him lately about various things, and Ryousuke, for his part, went along with vague responses of agreement but always stopped short of actually committing to anything they had asked for. He knew he was playing a dangerous game with them now, too; he saw a few things pass across his father's face that might have been disapproval, and a few more things pass across his mother's face that might have been concern, but, so far, they hadn't pushed excessively, knowing that he fully intended to follow their instructions and get on that plane to Michigan to study abroad.

So, he continued to discreetly see Takumi over the last month, not daily, but enough; even Keisuke got into the habit of meeting up with them when they decided to go to a family restaurant, even bringing Iwase Kyouko along with him a few times.

Keisuke's own involvement with the girl had been rekindled when Iwase boldly marched up to him at the Tokyo event, saying quietly, but firmly, so that as few people as possible might overhear: "This is your last chance, Keisuke-san. I understand everything about you, and I still won't let anyone, even myself, stand in your way," before walking off into the crowd to disappear within the throng before Keisuke had a chance to say or do anything about it. If Ryousuke hadn't been standing right behind the Aces, he would never have heard her words. Whatever had happened that time when he'd allowed his brother to borrow the FC to take her out, the words she spoke at the meet and greet broke down that barrier within Keisuke that had prevented him from pursuing her during the Project despite it being pretty obvious that he wanted to do just that.

Ryousuke didn't think it had evolved into something significant just yet, but he knew that Keisuke was hooked and that it was probably only a matter of time. Good. Keisuke needed to find his own way, and it was starting to look like he was taking all the right steps.

Of course, Keisuke didn't let her know anything about his brother and the downhiller when Kyouko would accompany him; Ryousuke was sure she thought they were just getting together as friends and former teammates. It was a fair assessment after all, being really not _too_ far from truth, and there was no need for her or for anyone else to think otherwise. For now, it was working.

What was also working, surprisingly, was this "dating" thing he swore he'd never do again after Kaori. He didn't delude himself into thinking he was actually good at it, but, Takumi didn't seem to really care, nor did he seem to ever have any firm expectations when they went out either. It was becoming just too damn _easy_.

They had met up for dinner a few times alone without the brother and his date too; luckily, Takumi didn't protest too much when Ryousuke took him places that were definitely more than a few steps up from the family restaurant. It simply seemed that his lover understood that the more upscale dining experience was more to Ryousuke's tastes, and not because he thought he was wanting to try and impress him or some other such bullshit.

That was part of what was so appealing as this relationship matured. There was absolutely no _bullshit_ involved with actually dating Fujiwara Takumi. When they wanted to go out, they went. When they wanted to be alone, they were. When they wanted to fool around, they did, and when they didn't, or couldn't, they didn't. There was no pretense about what it was that they were doing, it just _was_.

And the little arguments that happened from time to time always led to great make-up sex that Keisuke _always_ seemed to have a sixth sense toward figuring out just when it had happened. That annoyed Ryousuke to no end, but, he realized, Keisuke was Keisuke, and he just had to deal with it. He wasn't giving up the make-up sex because of a little brotherly teasing either, because Takumi's vicious temper really was just too damn _hot_ sometimes.

The fiery downhiller blew up hot and fast, just like his driving, and he pushed and pushed to where Ryousuke would be brought to fits of extreme exasperation and annoyance, his own temper caught up in it sometimes before Takumi would either walk out in a huff or pin him to whatever surface with hot, angry passion. Ryousuke almost never knew what the outcome would be of Takumi's flare ups until the very last second, and it was exhilarating and irritating and seductively dangerous at the same time. Ruefully, Ryousuke realized that most of the time it was his own fault in some way for still not having a complete understanding of just how his lover's mind actually _worked_.

But there were plenty of calm moments as well, where they simply enjoyed each other's companionship, and where Ryousuke saw potential. Potential for something to go beyond the December drop-dead date when he would board the plane for San Francisco, and then on to Detroit to end up taking a relatively short drive further to Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Potential was one thing; however, having a plan was another thing altogether. Thus far, there was still no such plan to continue the relationship, no matter how much that he knew that he would truly never love any other person as much as he loved Fujiwara Takumi.

So, they continued to date, keeping the December deadline firmly on the back burner to enjoy what they had for however long they could have it.

On one such evening, he'd even dragged Takumi along on a shopping trip to buy him a suit for the day of the signing because Takumi didn't own one. Although, his lover hadn't gone shopping without a fight, Ryousuke recalled with a little chuckle.

"Shopping?!" Takumi had asked incredulously over a dessert of vanilla cake. "Why do we have to go shopping?" he grumbled to his dinner companion.

"Yes. Shopping. After you finish your dessert," Ryousuke had replied, sipping his coffee and looking upon his lover with pure amusement.

"For what?" his dinner companion mumbled after scraping some of the frosting off the cake and taking a bite of it plain, ostensibly to reduce some of the sweetness. "I don't really like shopping. I don't like spending money on crap I don't need," he moaned between bites.

Ryousuke chuckled. "Oh, but you _do_ need something."

"Eh?"

"For the day you sign your contract. We're buying you a proper suit," Ryousuke declared calmly, seeing the deer-caught-in-the-headlights look his lover gave him, and trying desperately not to laugh.

"Eh?" the younger helplessly repeated, "I've got dress pants. And I've got a nice shirt. I can wear those," Takumi insisted.

"Ah. I see," Ryousuke responded casually. "You mean the nice pinstripes and the light blue shirt you have. "

"Yeah."

"Hmm. Though I do admit you look absolutely stunning in that, something as important as meeting your future employer and sponsors requires something a bit more formal I'm afraid."

Takumi scowled, but he couldn't entirely erase the pink hue that crossed his cheeks upon hearing Ryousuke's words. "Oh. Does it?"

To Ryousuke, it looked like his lover's inner self was actively telling him a whole bunch of silent things that he was actually kind of glad he couldn't hear. The daggers Takumi was staring at his cake ought to have pulverized the confection with their intensity, and Ryousuke wondered if some of them might be flung his way also.

"It does."

"I didn't have to dress up for the magazine pictures," Takumi mumbled, "so they should know what they're getting already with me."

Ryousuke sighed. "Let me put it to you this way, Takumi. Think of it as your last obligation to me as being a member of D."

"Huh?" he asked with an odd look.

"Your last position in the racing world was on _my_ team. As such, you are, in effect, representing _me_. Do you understand?"

Takumi put down his fork and pushed away his cake. "I understand exactly what it means. I'm gonna go broke over this outfit, aren't I?" he asked with an aura of doom settling about his slumped shoulders.

Ryousuke did allow himself to laugh a little.

"That's not funny. If I told you how much is in my bank account right now you'd probably faint. And that's _before_ I pay for my stupid phone bill. If we go and buy some fancy suit too, then I hope you're ready to buy dinner _every_ time we go out."

The joy in Ryousuke's heart upon hearing that sentence was inexplicable. Somehow, over the weeks that they had been "dating", Takumi had become accustomed to it to that degree. It was wonderful; and awful too, because he would have wanted nothing more than to continue when he returned.

"Takumi," Ryousuke began in a low whisper, "do you honestly think you can win this battle with me?"

The addressed furrowed his brow. "No."

The elder smiled. "Good," he replied with a light air of satisfaction.

"I was supposed to treat you to dinner tonight, Ryousuke," Takumi deadpanned, "but now I've changed my mind. You're paying."

Ryousuke laughed a little and signaled the waitress for the check. He left enough money for their meal and he led a sulking Takumi out to the FC.

When they had driven up to the shop, he looked over to the passenger seat and saw a flicker of relief pass over the younger driver's face. "What is it, Takumi?"

"Well, it looks like they're closed for the day, Ryousuke. I guess we can't go shopping after all. Oh well. Let's get out of he-"

"Don't think you're getting away that easily," he interrupted playfully. "I know the owner quite well, and I asked him if I could come by after hours."

"What?!" Takumi almost shouted.

Ryousuke shrugged. "He does it for me all the time whenever I need a new suit for myself, so he's simply extending a courtesy. After all, a friend of one of his best customers is a friend of his too."

"B-but..."

"He's very nice, and does excellent tailoring also."

"Huuuh?" Takumi exclaimed, nearly cowering over the door handle, as if the action could prevent the inevitable. "Tailoring? What the hell _for_?" Takumi implored, "I've got no trouble finding clothes that fit," he asserted.

"That...is debatable," Ryousuke offered plainly. "You're rather hit and miss in that department."

Takumi scowled. "I've been buying my own clothes since I was in junior high you know."

"Takumi," Ryousuke continued, "every man _should_ have at least _one_ suit tailored especially for him. A sport coat here and there off the rack is okay in a pinch, but I buy pretty much all my good suits here. Or, do you happen to have your own connection to a menswear specialist of which I'm presently unaware, that you'd rather we go to?" he asked, enjoying Takumi's reactions a tad more than he should have. It was so wonderful though, and a moment like this fit so well into his imagined scenarios of what a life with the younger racer might be like over the long term if it had been allowed to continue.

"You know I don't," Takumi groaned.

"Then it's settled. Let's not keep Shigure-san waiting, shall we?"

His lover mumbled something unintelligible as he opened the car door with a deliberate air of dissatisfaction.

"I assure you, it will be painless," Ryousuke quipped.

"I doubt it," Takumi complained dourly.

They walked up to the door and Ryousuke rang a little bell that was barely visible from its position behind an elaborate planter. Seconds later, a face familiar to him came to the door with a smile upon it.

"Ah, good evening, Ryousuke-san. Welcome," he said in a voice tinged with quiet enthusiasm.

"Shigure-san, thank you for letting us intrude."

Shigure waved his hand once. "Don't mention it," he replied, "So this is your friend, then?"

"Yes. This is Fujiwara Takumi. He's got an important meeting coming up very soon," Ryousuke offered easily.

"Very good. Pleasure to meet you, Fujiwara-san; I'm Shigure."

"Nice to meet you," the younger mumbled, the discomfort glaringly apparent on his face.

Shigure only smiled in response. "Don't worry about a thing; I'm sure we'll find something to your liking. Why don't you step inside?"

Takumi bowed a little, and walked in.

"Shall we get right down to it, Ryousuke-san?" Shigure asked once they were inside.

"Sure. We're looking for a day suit."

The shop owner considered. "Not a problem," he affirmed. Turning to Takumi, he said, "Please tell me your sizes and I'll direct you."

"Uh...sizes..."

"Yes, your shirt size, inseam, and the like," Shigure patiently explained.

"Uh...well, for shirts, I guess, it's large. Sometimes medium."

Ryousuke had a very difficult time hiding his amusement, and caught the subtle questioning look Shigure gave him. "Shigure-san, if you don't mind, I think it's been awhile since Takumi-kun has been measured properly. Perhaps we should start from there?"

Takumi stared at him, a look of worry in his eyes that he apparently messed up. Ryousuke patted him once on the shoulder and gave him a quick squeeze to let him know everything was okay. He nodded toward Shigure who gave him a look of understanding; apparently he realized that the young man before him had likely never been into a shop like this, and likely had never had his measurements taken at all beyond a school physical.

"Of course, of course," the man replied, taking a measuring tape out from a pocket and putting a little contraption of a memo book attached to wrist band onto his wrist. He pulled a pencil from another pocket and stuck it over his ear. "Step this way, Fujiwara-san, and we'll begin. Once we get your measurements, we'll know what styles and cuts to start with."

Takumi complied a bit hesitantly and stepped forward. Ryousuke decided to busy himself with looking around the shop as Takumi's shirt measurements were taken. He could hear the scrtiching sound of Shigure's pencil on the little memo book as he worked. "All right, Fujiwara-san," he heard him say, "now step onto this podium and I'll measure you for slacks."

"O-okay," came the mumbled response.

Ryousuke cast a furtive glance toward the process and, seeing that Takumi looked a little uncomfortable with the tape measure being placed on his hip, he went a little closer and met his gaze with a nod saying, "Relax. This is all very customary." He hoped Takumi understood. He seemed to, and he was bearing it, even when the tape measure was placed between his legs so that Shigure could finish taking his numbers.

"Okay, Fujiwara-san, we're all finished. Now, tell me, do you dress left, or right?"

Takumi's face shot up in confusion. "Eh?"

Ryousuke knew what the question was meant to discover, but it was obvious that Takumi hadn't a clue. Shigure turned around and Ryousuke shook his head a little. Again, the man nodded his understanding and smiled. "I'll be right back," he announced, apparently having seen enough to know that Takumi was pretty shy. Ryousuke took the opportunity and came closer to his lover as Shigure stepped into the back of the store.

"What does he mean by that?" Takumi whispered. "You're not helping me out here at all!" he hissed.

Ryousuke chuckled.

"You're enjoying this," he declared, annoyed.

"A little," the elder affirmed.

"A _lot!_ "

"Now, now," Ryousuke said smoothly, "this is all quite ordinary."

"For you, _not_ for me. So tell me what the heck does 'do you dress left or right' mean?"

Ryousuke smirked a little.

"Well?" the unhappy downhiller prodded.

He leaned in to whisper into Takumi's ear. "It's a polite way of asking you where you put 'it' when you zip up your pants."

"What?!" Takumi snapped in a hot whisper, his face turning red. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, it's a normal question for a tailor to ask. Usually, men have a preference for their own comfort; a suit should be comfortable above all else."

Takumi scrunched up his face. "It's not like I think about where I put my…damn it, Ryousuke. You could have given me a heads up on that. Bastard."

"And miss out on the look on your face just now? Not a chance," Ryousuke returned playfully.

"Payback's a bitch. Watch out," the younger drawled.

"I can't wait," Ryousuke said with a little wink which caused that adorable look of astonishment to reappear upon his lover's face. Again, Takumi seemed to be shouting a bunch of silent things in his head. 'You are too cute,' he thought, knowing he'd better behave himself; Ryousuke had, over their "dating", developed a definite understanding that he could never deign to call Takumi "cute" to his face without serious consequences.

"Shut up. I have to think," his lover retorted quietly, squeezing his eyes shut, ostensibly to try and figure out how he "dressed" once and for all.

After a few seconds, Ryousuke whispered, "Did you figure it out?"

"Y-yeah."

Shigure returned from the rear of the store and asked the question again.

"Uh...left."

"Very well," he replied. Turning to Ryousuke he said, "I think something from Ralph Lauren's fall collection would fit nicely, don't you? Or perhaps, something Italian?" Ryousuke nodded.

"Do you mind if I ask your age?" Shigure asked, returning his attention to his subject.

"Nineteen," Takumi muttered.

"Something youthful then, but with a slightly broader cut."

"Agreed. Is that okay, Takumi?" Ryousuke asked.

"I suppose so."

Shigure led Takumi to the racks and selected several different suits to try. Seeing that the younger man was starting to get a slight look of panic, Ryousuke decided to step in.

"Perhaps we should only try a few, Shigure-san. I'm sure we'll find something quickly."

"Ah," the proprietor assented, looking briefly over what he held in his arms, putting a few back. He had three suits remaining and led Takumi over to the dress shirts while Ryousuke kept an eye on the shirt selections and looked for a tie to match.

Shigure then ushered Takumi into the fitting room where they remained for a while. He left his model for a moment and asked Ryousuke if he could select some shoes, which was allowed with no hesitation. After a fashion, Shigure emerged with a pleased smile. "I think we've got it, Ryousuke-san. Would you care to have him step out?"

"Of course."

"Fujiwara-san, please come out and let's have a look."

"O-okay..."

Takumi came out and Ryousuke could feel his jaw hang open. He was gorgeous; Shigure had selected an incredibly handsome navy suit with a very crisp light blue and white striped dress shirt underneath. Takumi looked a little uncomfortable, but there couldn't have been a more perfect style for the younger man. It was probably a Lauren, Ryousuke surmised, and he was very pleased with the results. He looked beautiful, and Ryousuke's restraint got an immediate exercise in endurance. God how he would love to take that off him right now and...

"It's wonderful," he said quietly instead, abruptly halting his own thoughts.

Shigure nodded. "Fujiwara-san, I think your body was made for this designer. I won't have to do much tailoring. It fits you quite well already."

"Uh...thank you?" Takumi responded, unsure of how to take the compliment.

"I've been trying to get Ryousuke-san into a Lauren for ages," Shigure went on, pinning the hem a little and taking some more notes on his little memo book, "but his design style seems to flatter you much better."

"Uh huh," Takumi replied, staring an "I'll get you for this" threat toward a still amused Ryousuke.

"Not to mention more work for you, Shigure-san, if I were to try that on for myself," the elder remarked.

"Don't I know it, and, you know, you're looking a bit thinner since the last time you were in," he replied casually. "Have you been losing weight?"

"Nah, I'm the same," he offhandedly replied.

"Hmm...well, let me know if you need any alterations."

"Will do."

"I'm going to leave a growth allowance in the hem, Fujiwara-san," Shigure continued, returning attention to his model, "so, come back if you need the hem let down a little at some point."

"Uh...?"

Shigure smiled. "At your age, it's possible that you could still grow a couple of centimeters into your twenties. It's to allow for that."

"Oh. I think I'm done growing...but if that's what you usually do, it's okay."

Ryousuke cringed a little inwardly. It was definitely possible that Takumi could still be growing. Times like these reminded Ryousuke that he was definitely robbing the cradle more than somewhat, and he supposed this could be put under the header of "payback" just a little for the mild discomfort he felt. Oh well. Takumi was hot, and so what if he happened to find his youthful appearance incredibly attractive?

"Okay, you can go get changed now, Fujiwara-san. Just leave the garments on the hanger inside the fitting room."

Takumi nodded and looked extremely relieved that permission to restore his usual uniform of jeans and a t-shirt was granted. He returned shortly, and he looked a lot more comfortable in his regular attire. He carried the shoe box with him under his arm. "Where do these go, Shigure-san?" he asked.

"Just bring them to the counter," Shigure replied. "Ryousuke-san, shall I invoice the suit and the tailoring together?"

"That's fine. When do you think you could have it ready?"

"I'd say a week will be plenty of time. There's not much I'll have to do."

"All right. Just call me when it's ready, and I'll pick it up."

"Ryousuke?"

"What is it Takumi?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

They walked away from the small counter and Shigure excused himself to the back once again to leave them alone.

"Ryousuke," his lover whispered, "none of these things had any price tags on them."

"And?"

"Well, my old man says that if something doesn't have a price tag on it, it means it's too expensive and that if the store told you how much it was, they'd never get a normal person to buy it."

Ryousuke chuckled a little. "I suppose that's a good bit of wisdom."

"So how do I know how much this all costs?"

"Shigure-san will consult the catalogue."

Takumi scowled. "I used to think the old man was full of it...but now...I'm thinking he was right. What should I do? Do they have an installment plan here? I don't think I have enough money to-"

"Stop right there," Ryousuke said reassuringly. "You've got no reason to worry."

"But-"

"As if I'd let you pay for this," the elder said evenly.

"But-" Takumi protested again, wide-eyed.

"Did you like them?"

"Huh?"

"I asked you if you liked the clothes. Do you like them?"

"Well, yeah, I do. Even if I think it's not really me, I was...surprised...but I did like them..."

"Good," Ryousuke replied smiling. "Then it's a worthy investment."

"Ryousuke-"

"Be quiet," he directed softly. "I think I got more enjoyment out of this than you did anyway, right?"

"Yeah, but..."

"Then I'll consider it a present to myself when I get to see you wear it again. End of discussion."

Ryousuke returned to the counter and called out to Shigure that they were ready to leave.

"Very good. I'll bill you as normal then, Ryousuke-san?"

"Excellent. Thank you again for letting us disturb your evening."

"Anytime."

With that, they had said their good-byes. "Oh," Ryousuke added, "I suppose we can take the shoes and the tie now, can't we?"

"Of course."

"The shoes too?" Takumi asked.

Ryousuke exhaled and gathered up the shoe-box while Shigure boxed the tie. "We're taking them, Takumi."

The younger driver was silent as they returned to the FC and got inside. "Ryousuke..."

"Hmm?"

"You...didn't have to..."

"I _wanted_ to."

Takumi sat silently for a few minutes more as they began to drive. "Thank you," he finally said.

Ryousuke reached over and ran his hand through his lover's hair after the shift-up. "You're more than welcome."

Takumi was quiet again. "I was supposed to pay for dinner tonight. You ended up paying for that too. Why didn't you say anything?"

The elder shrugged as he steered the car into a left turn. "It would have ruined the surprise."

Takumi was deep in thought as they made their way at a leisurely pace through a few more intersections. "I thought you didn't like surprises that much," he responded quietly. "First the hachi-roku…now this…"

"I keep telling you that when it comes to you, I like them very much."

They had pulled up to stop for a traffic light; Ryousuke leaned over and led Takumi's face to his own by a finger to his chin since there were no other cars around. He placed a soft, chaste kiss upon his lover's lips. "For the time being, you have to learn to let me spoil you a little."

Takumi nodded. "Just a little though."

"All right."

The light turned green and Ryousuke put his foot on the accelerator. He felt the presence of a warm but firm hand on his thigh. "I want to go to your place..."

Ryousuke smiled. "Is that so?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want to rent a movie or anything?"

"No."

Ryousuke put his own hand on Takumi's and squeezed. "Sounds good."

That night had been one of several wonderfully intimate times he had spent with Takumi; the younger still hadn't reached the point where he totally took charge in bed, but he'd certainly demonstrated his amazing learning curve well in that department also. Even though this was definitely not a "sex friends" situation, and never had been for him, Ryousuke couldn't deny that the pleasure Takumi gave him with his body was a powerful additional motivator for his willingness to shed the barriers he'd carefully built to prevent the closeness in which he now wanted to take comfort. He was certainly looking forward to spending as much time with Takumi as he could until he'd have to leave in December for America.

Damn that stupid deadline again. Damn it for getting closer as fast as they were becoming closer to each other.

Again, he'd allowed himself to lose control, and did it willingly. Recklessly. Happily.

He pushed the thought of leaving out of his mind, recalling that he'd made a promise to Takumi to try and not constantly overthink things. It was hard to do. Excruciatingly hard. How Takumi and Keisuke went through life like that, Ryousuke thought...damn. Thinking again. And again.

Ryousuke knew he'd never fully understand it, that was for sure, no matter how long he lived himself. The phrase, "You make things so complicated!", and others, like "God, would you just quit thinking about everything all the damn time?!" said in exasperation by his young lover rang in his mind, and made Ryousuke crazy and pissy whenever they were heard.

And Takumi didn't even seem to really care if Ryousuke got pissy either. He almost welcomed it, as if the fact that they could get annoyed with each other was an aspect of their relationship which seemed to have a feeling of familiarity for him, somewhat mirroring they way he interacted with his parent of one. Ryousuke had also wondered if Takumi had taken the little tiffs they'd had with each other as a sign of their relationship as being more "normal", the same way a boyfriend and girlfriend might argue before kissing and making up and getting on with life. If that was what made the fact that they were both men easier for him to take, then so be it. They didn't have time to dwell on it anyway, and Ryousuke thought that Takumi realized that most of the time.

And yet, when Takumi got mildly ticked off or exasperated with something, he was so impossibly endearing. He managed to be cute even when he was pissed. Sometimes. Ryousuke could, of course, be over thinking that, because when Takumi got angry, he really fucking did. Ryousuke had apparently crossed the "spoiling" threshold a little bit too far once when he tried to gift him with a Rolex after a night that frankly had been more like blowing off steam, more lust than love, and Takumi immediately went into a tirade about being "paid" to have sex.

"Don't fucking give me stuff like _this_ after we do something like _that_!" he had shouted, pointing at the bed after leaping out of it. Ryousuke hadn't seen the timing for his gift from that perspective, and he remembered too late that Takumi's first girlfriend slept with an older man who paid her with money, and probably gifts like fancy watches or jewelry too.

It had taken three days of "I'm sorrys" and a promise to return the watch to get back to normal with Takumi, after Ryousuke made a failed attempt in the heat of the moment to argue that it wasn't meant like that in the first place. "I don't give a damn what you meant, so stop trying to act like some fucking Sugar Daddy!" he'd retorted, "You don't need to _pay_ me to get rough with you, because I'm a _guy_ too and I can take it, I can _give_ it, and I like it like that just like any other guy would!"

He'd bolted from the apartment before he'd even had his shirt fully on, and Ryousuke knew he blew it big with him for the second time since the night he'd basically almost outed them on Akina. In his mind, a gift would be a reassurance to Takumi that their night had been within the context of mutual trust, but, apparently, Takumi took it only on face value. Ryousuke had to admit that, at face value, his lover was certainly not unreasonable to take a gift meant to show affection as some kind of payment for a night of particularly exuberant sex. God, his timing, usually impeccable, could simply not have been _worse_ in that situation. It was times like these when the age gap between them showed; Takumi wasn't interested in hearing about what the gift was supposed to represent. He just got angry and snapped. So too, the differences in their thought processes were glaringly apparent. Ryousuke rued to himself that his overthinking had gotten him into trouble, and that maybe he should start to take Takumi's advice to just stop over thinking and planning every little thing with the outcome of perfection the goal.

Ryousuke realized that Takumi had a temper actually far worse than that of Keisuke, and that was startling, unbelievable, and downright scary when he imagined it in its uncontrolled state, a state he didn't think he'd fully seen quite yet, despite seeing enough of it to know that it was definitely dangerous and definitely not something to ignore. Keisuke sure liked to taunt him about it whenever he fucked up and caused Takumi to snap. It was even more annoying because usually it ended up being Keisuke sort of smoothing things over with Takumi with a phone call or a couple of beers somewhere that Keisuke could sneak him into without worrying about him being underage. It was beyond frustrating indeed that Keisuke seemed to "handle" him better in those situations, but, somehow, Takumi came around relatively quickly and forgot it once he decided to take the time to actually think objectively about whatever happened in the first place. Thankfully.

He stopped himself from the thought. There might not even be enough time to see everything about his lover, even his temper, not that he wanted to to see that too much more. Ryousuke had plenty of practice handling Keisuke, but he wanted what time he and Takumi had left to be meaningful and positive, and he'd do everything in his power to not think himself into a damn hole with Takumi for the last couple of months they had. Although it helped him to learn about the younger man, Takumi's temper was not something to take lightly, and Ryousuke preferred not to be the cause of it any more times than he already had.

His lover was definitely more of a firecracker than Ryousuke had ever imagined possible. He was quite the holy handful and, even though it could be daunting and frustrating, it was also _ridiculously_ sexy.

Ryousuke pulled the FC up to the curb behind the hachi-roku and cut the engine. He sat for a moment, looking another time at the modest home and business owned by Fujiwara Bunta, and he took a deep breath. He knew that the postponed "chat" he never got to have with Takumi's Father had to happen sometime, and he wondered if tonight would be the night. He exhaled, pushed the uneasiness aside, looked over toward the shop, and decided that he was no longer early, but right on time.

He opened the car door and reached into the rear to take the suit off the hook inside the FC. He'd picked it up on his way over to Shibukawa, and he figured tonight was as good a time as any to give it to him. He'd also brought along one of his portable valets because he was pretty sure that Takumi didn't own one. Of course, his father might, but Ryousuke figured he'd bring it just in case the elder Fujiwara didn't.

He entered the shop. It was odd; clearly, the storefront was marked by a display case and service counter, and the equipment was slightly toward the back. He saw an opened door at the rear, and assumed that was probably the entrance to the residential portion, but Ryousuke wasn't sure quite how to approach. Should he wait in the shop, or should he venture to call out at the door? He had to admit to himself that he wasn't accustomed to being unsure of his position. He assumed that family could go straight to the door that led to the residence; perhaps Takumi's childhood friend Itsuki-kun could waltz on back through the prep area and call out at the door without being seen as impolite. But Ryousuke wasn't family. He was a friend, but, truthfully, he wasn't a friend who had actually been _inside_ before. After all, he'd only interacted with Fujiwara Bunta a few times on the outside curb, so he didn't feel like he had any kind of special permission to cross the length of the small business to reach the residence, no matter how much money he'd spent on the hachi-roku.

Ryousuke had just decided to announce himself from the storefront when Takumi came through the doorway and gave him a half smile. "You don't have to wait there," he said softly. "Unless you want to buy some tofu or something," he added with a sarcastic widening of his smile.

"I wasn't sure," Ryousuke replied, relieved to see that Takumi was employing his singular sense of wit. "Good evening, Takumi-kun," he said as a greeting, not wanting to appear overly familiar in front of Takumi's Father, but knowing he'd said that much in front of the older man already and no retribution ever came of it. It was another little gamble, but he went with it. "I picked up your suit today."

"Good evening, Ryousuke-san," Takumi replied, taking the cue to be a tad more formal quite smoothly. "Thank you, uh, for this," he added, taking the garment bag, and eyeing the valet curiously. He leaned over a little and whispered, "I'm sorry you had to come here again, but my Dad said he didn't feel like going anywhere. Sorry."

"That's quite all right. I'm the one who's intruding, so please excuse the intrusion."

Takumi rolled his eyes. "You don't have to be that polite around here. He probably won't be. You've seen how he is," he remarked sardonically.

"What the heck are you mumbling about out there, Idiot?" came a low drawl from inside the home.

"Nothing, _Dad_ ," Takumi groaned.

"You gonna invite that Nii-chan, in or are you going to stand there looking stupid all night?"

"So embarrassing," he whispered. "He's still calling you Nii-chan...geez..."

"It's all right," Ryousuke affirmed happily. He didn't mind at all that Bunta didn't play the suck-up game. As the years had gone on, Ryousuke had found that more and more people played the kiss-ass game with him, and it was truly a wonderful rarity to meet someone who didn't give a shit about who he was or who his father was. "Please excuse the intrusion, Fujiwara-san," Ryousuke said quietly after following Takumi through the doorway after leaving his shoes outside. "Thank you for inviting me inside your home. This is for your hospitality," he continued, taking a small bottle of top-shelf sake out of a small bag with handles, noting the look of consternation on his lover's face which was probably saying something pissy about bringing a hospitality gift. Too bad. This was still his father's home. 'Deal with it, Lover.'

After a little grunting sound as a reply, and a raised eyebrow toward the bottle now in his hands, Fujiwara Bunta next eyed the garment bag his son was holding. "Go put that upstairs, boy," he directed to Takumi. "Have a seat, Nii-chan," he said to Ryousuke.

"Thank you. Oh, Takumi-kun, you can borrow one of my valets to hang the suit on until after the meeting. Here you go," he said, handing the device to the younger one who looked at it skeptically before accepting it.

"Thanks. I'll...uh, put it in my room."

Takumi turned and started to make his way up the stairs. Ryousuke was about to follow Bunta's directions to him and seat himself when the elder Fujiwara spoke again.

"Do you really think a kid like that knows how to use that contraption?"

"Well, I-"

"If you don't go up and show him how to use it, he'll be up there all night stubbornly trying to figure it out to save face in front of you. I don't want to be waiting all night for him when there _are_ a lot of things we need to talk about."

"I'd be glad to show him, if you are certain it's all right..."

"Second door on the right," Bunta replied offhandedly. "And hurry him up; that brat's as slow as molasses going up hill in winter."

"Excuse me, then," Ryousuke said quietly, bowing and smiling a little to himself before making his way toward the narrow staircase which led to the Fujiwara family's sleeping quarters. When he reached the landing at the top, he called out, "Takumi-kun, your father sent me to help you, all right?"

Takumi peeked out from the second door on the right with a worried look on his face. "I'm okay...you don't need to come up here..."

"Did you set up the valet?"

Silence.

"Let me show you how to use it then," Ryousuke gently directed as he reached the doorway.

Takumi frowned a little.

"Takumi, hurry the hell up!" Bunta yelled from downstairs.

His lover scowled again. "I'll be right down already, geez!" he returned. To Ryousuke he just grumbled, "Shitty Old Man."

Ryousuke chuckled and crossed the threshold of the small but very tidy room. He could see that Takumi was embarrassed, but he decided to simply focus on the task at hand. He made his way to the valet which Takumi had put on his bed, picked it up, and put it on the floor.

"This is a portable one," Ryousuke explained. "You just release this latch...here," he went on, releasing the lever, "and raise it to the proper height so that nothing touches the floor."

"Okay."

Ryousuke adjusted the height to what he thought would be enough. "Hand it over here," he said, motioning toward the garment bag. He removed the clothes and hung them on the valet, satisfied with the height settings and admiring the suit all over again.

"Is that all?" Takumi asked.

"Pretty much."

"I could just hang it in the wardrobe," he added, venturing to touch the fabric of the lapel.

"But this will make things convenient for when you press it the night before you wear it," Ryousuke countered matter-of-factly. "You can give it a quick once-over with a steam iron right in place here."

Takumi gave him a skeptical look.

"Or," Ryousuke added with a smile, "you can simply use Keisuke's method of bringing the valet with you when you take a hot shower and let the steam of the bath do the job for you."

"I like that idea better," the younger mumbled.

Ryousuke squeezed his shoulder briefly. "It does work surprisingly well," he affirmed. "Shall we go back downstairs?"

"Y-yeah," Takumi murmured. He touched the lapel again, and he seemed to notice something inside. "Ryousuke?"

"What is it?"

"Why is my name on this?"

Ryousuke looked at what the younger man was showing him and smiled. "Ah," he said, lifting the cuffs of the shirt to show that his name was also on those. "That's a 'monogram', Takumi."

"A mo-no-gram," he repeated the English word Ryousuke had used with a little difficulty.

"Yes. Shigure-san always provides a complimentary embroidered monogram on the things he tailors; most fine tailors do this. It's been tailored for you, after all, hasn't it?"

"Oh," Takumi replied a little sheepishly. "I really don't know anything about this kind of thing, do I?"

"I wouldn't worry about that," Ryousuke whispered, venturing to run his fingers gently once through soft strands of hair. "Let's go downstairs and talk, okay?"

"Okay. Ryousuke, I..." the younger's voice trailed off.

"Hmm?"

"I...really like it. A lot. I've never had anything this nice before, and I-"

"You deserve at least this much," Ryousuke softly interrupted.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

"Sorry you had to see my room."

"I'm not."

Takumi didn't say anything more, but the blush on his cheeks told Ryousuke that he was all too happy to get out of there.

They returned downstairs to where Fujiwara Bunta had taken up the newspaper. He put it down; he'd even made tea for everyone.

"You get everything fixed up nice, Takumi?" he said with a hint of curiosity coloring his tone, as he poured them each a cup of tea.

"Yeah."

"Good. Now, both of you sit down so we can discuss these outrageous contracts."

 _"Dad!"_ Takumi moaned, exasperated, as he took a place on the tatami mat across from his father.

Ryousuke felt a bit of alarm toward Bunta's words. He had thought the contracts were well within the range for a rookie driver. Had he missed something which would cause the elder Fujiwara to be displeased? Hopefully he could find out the answer quickly. He sat down.

"I apologize, Fujiwara-san, but is there something that displeases you about the proposals?" Ryousuke asked.

"Hmpf. Yeah a little."

"Well, I'm sure we can negotiate-"

"Do they really intend to pay _this_ Idiot _that_ much money?!" Bunta interrupted sternly, pointing an accusatory finger at his son.

Takumi put his head in his hands and just shook it. Ryousuke was imminently relieved. He laughed softly. "I assure you, the compensation is well within the norm, Fujiwara-san."

"I keep waiting for this dummy to start thanking me for teaching him how to drive, but he's not saying a damn word," Bunta complained. "You owe me big time, you brat."

"Dad..."

Ryousuke wasn't sure how he was supposed to react to this kind of interaction, even though he had seen glimpses of it before between the father and son, and in his own interactions with his lover. It was so unlike the relationship he had with his own father, that it still took him a bit by surprise when he saw the dynamic between them in person. Despite Bunta's little insults thrown toward his son, it was incredibly obvious that this man loved his son to pieces. It was an odd relationship, to be sure, but Ryousuke found that he was getting a glimpse of Takumi's family life that was impossible not to enjoy, and it was also alleviating a little of his curiosity about the man who had put his son behind the wheel when Takumi was only a junior high school student. It was also good insight on his own relationship with the man's son; the fact that the younger man seemed almost more comfortable when they griped with each other definitely made a sort of sense.

Bunta sighed. "Well, I suppose he's an all right driver," the older man acknowledged a little grudgingly.

"He's much more than that," Ryousuke replied. "He has potential that seems to be endless."

"Ryousuke-san, don't say things like that," Takumi mumbled.

"It's true."

"He does love it. You were a big part of that too, Nii-chan," Bunta said quietly. Then he shook his head a little after presumably eyeing his son's embarrassment.

"I'm delighted that you feel that way."

"Well let's talk business. I think we've come to a decision."

"Excellent."

They discussed the merits of the contracts, and Ryousuke was impressed with Bunta's shrewdness as a businessman. He left no clause unread, and had several little adjustments he wanted. Takumi was silent throughout the process, but he seemed content to let his father handle the discussion. All that was left was to fax the changes to the team owner, and to request the meeting for the final negotiation.

"I'll fax these in when I get home," Ryousuke assured the elder Fujiwara. "I'll call when everything's set up."

"That sounds good," Bunta replied. "You really did your homework on these."

"It's important to be thorough, and I hardly would call it 'homework' when it pleased me this much to help."

"O-ho? I wonder where the hell you were two years ago when this Idiot was failing English. He could have used someone like you."

"Dad!" Takumi nearly shouted in embarrassment.

"I'm sure your son managed well enough in school on his own," Ryousuke offered.

"Yeah. I graduated, didn't I? And it was _math_ I was failing not English. Some great attentive parent you are," the younger Fujiwara asserted sarcastically.

"Oh yeah? Then tell me I'm wrong in English, then, Idiot."

Silence. Ryousuke again tried to disguise his amusement toward the odd turn of the conversation.

"I only passed with 65 marks," Takumi mumbled. "It's not like I can do that, and you know it, so shut up already."

"So you got lucky on a test and were one mark away from failing it, so you're still an idiot. I bet Nii-chan here can speak it. And now I know you failed math too."

"Dad. Stop."

"I can get by with English only because I had tutors who were native speakers, Fujiwara-san. It was never my best subject," Ryousuke tried to offer, seeing that Takumi was getting more and more uncomfortable.

Bunta only grunted in his direction. "Now, Takumi, get off your ass and go get me some smokes from the store."

"Huh?!" Takumi exclaimed. "Get your own cancer sticks, Old Man!"

Ryousuke looked from one Fujiwara to the other. "Perhaps I should take my leave-"

"Nii-chan: you _sit_ ," Bunta interrupted.

"Yes, Sir," Ryousuke immediately replied. Though the elder Fujiwara didn't sound angry, Ryousuke figured it would be better to do what the man said in his own house. It appeared that the elder had some things he wanted to discuss out of his son's earshot, and Ryousuke hoped it was going to be about the contract and not about his personal relationship with Takumi, but he certainly couldn't rule out the possibility. It was long overdue. He was Takumi's father; he knew about it, and he did have the right, even if Ryousuke wasn't thrilled about having to discuss it. The uneasiness was definitely returning, and he hoped to God it didn't show.

"Idiot: you go to the damn store," Bunta commanded his son, much more sternly.

"Dad!" Takumi protested, cheeks flaming with embarrassment. "I'm not leaving Ryousuke-san alone with _you_."

Bunta chuckled a little, and Ryousuke suddenly got a little nervous. He really didn't want to be left alone with Takumi's father either, but he had to suck it up. He was fairly certain now that the conversation might take a more personal turn, and he wondered what in the world Takumi's father would say. Damn.

"You _can_ and you _will,_ " Bunta retorted. "Now, get, because I want to have an intelligent conversation with Nii-chan here, and there's no room for you in something like _that_ , Dummy."

"If I'm a 'Dummy' then what the hell does that make you, Old Man? You made me, didn't you?" Takumi shot back sarcastically.

"Hmpf. I don't know what the hell happened for me to have a kid like you. Maybe I did drop you on the head too many times when you were a such a squirmy little baby. Now, get me some smokes!"

Ryousuke felt his eyes widen. Did the man just say 'too many times'? Wouldn't dropping Takumi on the head even _once_ be bad enough? Was he joking? Ryousuke figured he had to be, but he had to admit his certainty wasn't quite 100%. Where the hell was Takumi's mother?

Takumi rose to his feet in a huff after flashing a desperate "I'm _so_ sorry!" look to Ryousuke. The elder just waved him off. "Go ahead. We can chat later if you like."

Takumi made another "I'm sorry" face before scowling at his father. "I suppose you want some snacks too, don't you."

"You know, that's a good idea coming from you. Get me some chips and stuff, and if Mei-chan is at the register, get her to sell you some beer too."

Takumi held out his hand. "For that long of a shopping list, how 'bout some money."

"Hah!" Bunta laughed out loud. "Forget it, Mr. Big Shot Professional Racer. You can afford it."

The unhappy son clenched his fists. "Not yet I can't, you cheapskate!"

Ryousuke had to put a hand to his mouth and clear his throat to cover up the laughter he was desperately trying not to enjoy. Even though he was definitely nervous about talking to Takumi's father since he knew the man was already aware of his son's involvement with him, he couldn't help but to be amused by the relationship they had.

Takumi turned and walked off, muttering under his breath something that sounded like "shitty old man" and he slammed the door to the shop. Ryousuke heard the hachi-roku start up and drive off, and, now that Takumi had left and no words had so far been spoken, he felt the uneasiness come over him anew.

"Now, Nii-chan, let's talk."

"All right," Ryousuke assented.

"You can smoke if you need to."

"That's okay."

"Go ahead. The Idiot's not here to grumble about it," Bunta replied, shoving the ashtray more to the middle of the low table at which they sat.

Ryousuke decided it wouldn't be a bad thing, and it might calm his nerves. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette and lit it. "Thank you," he said after a long drag.

"Whatever."

Takumi's father silently lit his own cigarette, and Ryousuke had the distinct feeling of being studied intently as they both smoked. Ryousuke wanted a drink of something stronger than tea, too. Badly.

"Was the tea all right?" Bunta finally asked.

"Certainly, it was quite good. Thank you."

"Would some of that outrageously expensive sake you brought be better?"

Ryousuke was a little startled. Were his thoughts becoming that pathetically easy to read, or was Fujiwara Bunta just _that_ good? Should he really be drinking with his lover's father?

"I wouldn't want to impose," Ryousuke tried to politely decline.

"Hmpf," was all Bunta said before he rose and went to a cabinet and brought out a tokkuri and two ochoko. He heated water in an electric kettle. "You, unlike my son, are more than a couple years over the age to drink, right?"

Ryousuke winced a little inwardly. "Yes, I'm of age."

"How old are ya, Nii-chan?"

"Twenty-four."

"Hmpf," Bunta said again, satisfied that the electric kettle had gotten the water warm enough to put around the tokkuri so that the sake could be heated by it. "And you're in med-school."

"That is correct."

Bunta poured some of the expensive sake in the tokkuri, then sat back as it warmed the liquid within. Ryousuke remained silent, suddenly thankful that the elder wanted to warm up the sake and share it, even if it felt like he was sitting there forever. The elder Fujiwara was correct: he definitely needed a drink.

After a bit, Bunta poured from the tokkuri into an ochoko for his guest and put it in front of him before pouring some for himself. He placed the tokkuri between them. "Don't worry. That boy's slow. You got time for a drink. Besides, I told you that you'd be needing it if you hung around with him long enough…which you _have_."

'Here we go,' he thought, trying to mentally prepare himself for what he knew was coming. There was one thing Ryousuke knew for sure: there was absolutely nothing conventional about this family at all. It was a little scary, and a little wonderful at the same time.

"Thank you, Fujiwara-san," Ryousuke answered, waving off the elder's last remark for the moment, and taking a sip. "I hope it is to your liking as well."

Bunta shrugged. "This will definitely do the job. Thanks for bringing it."

"My pleasure, please enjoy it fully," Ryousuke agreed, taking another sip from his own ochoko and letting the smooth liquid warmth coat his throat.

Bunta sighed. "You know, I'm not the kind of guy who's a stickler for rules when it comes to Takumi. I don't really give a damn what he does or who he spends his time with."

Ryousuke listened quietly.

"I didn't force him to do a good job in school, or punish him when he failed. He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, so it probably wouldn't have done any good for me to try and make him get good grades or any of that bullshit."

"I think Fujiwara is quite capable, actually," Ryousuke offered. "I think he has his own brand of intelligence."

Bunta studied him again. "That may be true in some ways, but in other ways, he's just a no-nothing brat."

"I wouldn't say that, Sir."

"School's probably been drilled into _your_ head since before you were born, isn't that right?"

Ryousuke chuckled a little and finished his cigarette. "That's a fair statement."

"And I hear you're pretty good at it too."

"I manage."

Bunta considered the response and raised a skeptical eyebrow, but he let the comment pass.

"You're the eldest in your family, aren't you?"

"I am."

Bunta sighed. "You know, unlike my son, I'm not an idiot. And you're not an idiot, I know that much. What you did to the hachi-roku proves that. So what the hell do you see in a dummy like my son?"

Ryousuke took another sip of the fine sake. "For one, your son is truly gifted behind the wheel. He's incredibly adaptable, and he absorbs information like a sponge. It's been an honor to have had him on my team, to see him explore his potential."

"Hmm. Tell me, Nii-chan, did you rehearse that statement?"

Ryousuke felt his jaw hang open a little.

"I get the feeling you suck at lying, so tell the truth."

"It wasn't rehearsed per se," Ryousuke began, "but I admit that I was hoping to keep our conversation today about his future in racing only."

"But you had to know that wasn't about to happen, right?"

"I suppose I did."

Bunta was studying him again. "You're no fool, Nii-chan. My son _is_ talented. I don't like admitting it, but he is. I want only the best for him."

"As do I."

"You're Project D was good for him. Real good."

"I'm happy to hear you say that."

"You've spent a lot of your time on him. Not to mention an outright _obscene_ amount of money."

Ryousuke dared to chuckle a bit. "We had a deal. I simply provided the necessary tools, and I only asked for his best behind the wheel. Cost was not a concern, and he never let me down out there. Frankly, he astonished me over and over again. He's already above professional standard."

"I don't know about _that_ ," Bunta muttered, lighting up another cigarette. He huffed a little. "You're smooth. We started talking about racing again before I even knew it. Should I say, as expected?"

Ryousuke took a deep breath, and another sip of sake. 'Here goes nothing,' he thought. The man before him knew everything anyway. "I'm very fond of your son, Fujiwara-san. I'm sure that's not what a father wants to hear, but it _is_ the truth."

"I see," Bunta mused aloud. "By 'fond of', you mean you're screwing him, don't you?"

Ryousuke's level of shock went through the roof. How the hell could he respond to that? He knew his jaw was hanging open, and he tried to recover himself. "Fujiwara-san, I-"

Bunta laughed. "Don't piss yourself."

"Fujiwara-san. I wouldn't put it that way. Honestly, I-"

"But you _are_. And, for whatever reason, that Idiot went along with it. I wasn't born yesterday."

"I didn't intend...," God, why couldn't he stop stammering like a schoolboy?! "I mean, I didn't force-"

"I know _that!_ ," Bunta snapped, putting a hand to his temple before thinking of the better idea of downing another ochoko of sake more like a shot than taking a cordial sip. "Takumi isn't the type of kid to be forced into anything. He may not think, but he doesn't act unless something inside him tells him he wants to. So I'm not saying you _started_ it. I know my son well enough to know what a shitty little instigator he can be when it strikes him. He probably forced _you_ in a way, didn't he?"

Ryousuke took another deep breath. "He didn't have to do much for me to respond the way I did, though," he replied. When Bunta said nothing, Ryousuke realized he might have to offer the man something more. He was still terribly unaccustomed to talking about this particular subject with anyone, much less than to the father of the man he was sleeping with. He'd never met any parent of any of the other men he'd casually seen in the past, and never thought he would ever have reason to. He'd made mental preparations to counter a scenario in which he would have had to confront Kaori's parents in the event that she had decided to go against her arranged engagement. He was sure he could have convinced them that he would have taken good care of their daughter. But those preparations had been for naught when Kaori took her life, leaving her fiancée alone, confused, and angry to the point where all he had left was to place blame upon Ryousuke and to try and kill him on the street.

Kaori had left Ryousuke feeling guilty to the point where feelings had turned into unnecessary complications, and intimacy was something he didn't think he needed anymore. Ryousuke had stopped really caring about feelings at all, whether they be his own, or the feelings of anyone he'd been with. The most he'd ended up saying to her parents was a cordial "I'm deeply sorry for your loss," at Kaori's private funeral, a funeral that was only supposed to be for family due, Ryousuke presumed, to the fact that suicide was the cause of her death. But Ryousuke found out when it was to have been held and went anyway. It was all he had left since there was no way to finish whatever it was they had started.

That sense of unfinished business bothered him to no end; it bothered him that he couldn't fix whatever was so broken with her that she saw death as her only release, no matter that he had loved her. Her parents didn't know him, and they seemed almost apologetic when they accepted his condolences, as if to say "We're sorry a stranger had to know about our daughter's shameful death." At that time, Ryousuke had thought it was shameful too, and he'd been angry at her, and at himself for his failure to "fix" her, and maybe if he could have yelled at her dead body, he might have felt better. If he would have slapped her instead of comforted her when she was alive, would it have helped? She would have hated him, but at least she'd still be alive. How many times would they meet in quaint little bars for a casual drink behind her fiancée's back, only to have it turn into free fucking psychotherapy? And for what? How many hours did he provide a listening ear to his senpai, offering softly spoken words meant to slowly change her way of thinking, only to have it end with a fucking box cutter to her wrist or however she did it?

Ryousuke didn't even know how she did it. He didn't _know_.

All he knew was that she was gone. _Gone._ She had the nerve to be in love with him, had the wherewithal to make him look past her gender and love her back anyway. And for what? So he could fucking go to her god-damn funeral and not even be able to say anything to anyone, because there wasn't anything to say. How dare she make him love her like that and fucking leave? It pissed him off, and he decided that getting attached to anyone else would be his own suicide of sorts, because it meant that he could lose his control enough to let things get so out of hand. At the time, he hated her for it. He absolutely hated her for quite a long while.

However, looking back, he had probably too many harsh thoughts. He was often too harsh to the people he cared for most, another wonderfully inherited flaw. Kaori's parents didn't ask who he was, how could they have at a time like that? And where the hell had her fiancée, Houjou Rin, been? Had he been so devastated that he couldn't bear to go and sit by her parents' side? Did he love Kaori that much? He probably did. And, maybe, Ryousuke thought, he himself didn't love Kaori as much as he thought he had at all. Maybe he'd been so caught up in trying to "fix" her, that he thought of that as love. Or was it a sense of self-imposed duty to her? It had been a confusing time, an angry time, and confusion fueled by anger was something Ryousuke hated.

And then he had to go and meet Fujiwara Takumi; maybe Kaori had a hand in that after all. Now he knew he was desperately in love with the son of the man who was patiently waiting for some kind of explanation from him as to why the two young men had started "dating". This was truly a nightmare. How long prior to his battle with Houjou Rin had it been since he'd thought so hard about Kaori? Why were those conflicted feelings of love and anger coming to him now as he sat on the worn tatami mat across from Fujiwara Bunta, who sat on an even more well-worn tatami mat in what was likely the man's "usual spot"? Was it because he was afraid that when he left that it would be like going through something akin to death all over again? Would it be worse to know that Takumi would be alive and well, happily living his life without him?

What could he say to Fujiwara Bunta? What reason could he give that would be acceptable for falling in love with the man's only son?

The only other thing of this nature that he'd even remotely prepared for was to ask his Uncle for permission to make Tsugumi his wife. And that would have still been years well into the future, not to mention that he had no fear of his Uncle rejecting the proposal. He didn't know what Fujiwara Bunta would do at all, not that Ryousuke was proposing anything remotely as serious. But just talking about his personal relationship with Takumi was agonizing. It was the feeling of being stripped bare again, feelings he felt with increasing frequency as his relationship with Takumi had deepened. The younger Fujiwara had a way of getting through to Ryousuke's most private thoughts that was downright scary at times, and he could see that Takumi's father was the original source for that horrifying ability.

Bunta seemed to be patiently waiting for his response, puffing away on a third cigarette and helping himself to more sake. He wasn't pressing, but he was definitely waiting for some reason, Ryousuke supposed, as to why his son had suddenly found it appealing to sleep with another man. Ryousuke knew he didn't have the answer to that himself; the question of why Takumi chose him over his last girlfriend might not ever be answered.

"I am, how should I say it, naturally predisposed to this kind of thing," Ryousuke explained quietly. "I am aware, however, that he is not."

"Ah."

Bunta seemed to understand the statement and he lit another cigarette. Ryousuke thought he was being given a good once over, but he honestly couldn't tell because Takumi's father didn't open his eyes beyond a squint. "You're careful, aren't you?" he asked after a few agonizing seconds.

Ryousuke felt his cheeks heat. "Of course I am," he whispered.

"A good trait for a doctor-to-be."

Ryousuke said nothing.

"I told you before that you need to think of your position. But, you've got a reckless streak in you to be out on the street despite the fact that I'm sure you have a good understanding of what your position _is_. I can't say I don't approve of that, though."

"Okay."

Bunta took another drag from his cigarette. "This 'other thing' is a bit reckless too, don't you think?"

"I'm discreet about it."

"But you do it."

"Yes."

Bunta exhaled, sending a plume of smoke upward toward the center light of the room. "I honestly don't know, nor do I really care about whether or not Takumi is 'naturally predisposed' as you put it. I don't think he is either, but it has nothing to do with me; he's grown and he can do whatever he wants. I'm not _thrilled,_ mind you."

"I understand. I'm very sorry to have caused-"

"God, Nii-chan, relax for half a second, will ya? Just because I'm not thrilled doesn't mean I'm going to cut it off," he added with a gruff chuckle and a deliberate nod in the direction of Ryousuke's lower half.

Ryousuke was stunned. This man was blunt with a capital "B", and he could plainly see where Takumi got his sometimes-frankness from.

"I already told you I don't care, I just don't _ever_ want to hear the details," Bunta went on, tapping his chest once, "My ticker probably can't take it, so you're off the hook already. Mostly."

'Mostly?' Ryousuke thought wildly. He was straining with his ears to hear the sound of the hachi-roku. He really wished Takumi would return. Now.

"You really are wound tighter than a drum, aren't you, Nii-chan?"

All Ryousuke could eke out was a pathetic sounding "Eh?"

"This must be one hell of a sticking point between you and Dr. Takahashi Ryuuichi."

Ryousuke was shocked speechless again. "Do you know him, Fujiwara-san? My Father?" he managed to whisper.

"Nope. But, I confess I did check you out a little when Takumi first told me about joining this team of yours. I had to know he wasn't associating with some riff-raff, especially with all the traveling and such. Imagine my surprise when I found out you were about the opposite of riff-raff. Not your typical street racer, are you, Takahashi Ryousuke?"

Ryousuke felt a small wave of relief upon hearing that Fujiwara Bunta was indeed not acquainted with his father. Apparently it was written all over his face.

"Feel free to have another drink; looks like you need one."

He met the elder man's gaze for a moment before helping himself to another ochoko filled with sake and tipping it back somewhat eagerly.

"Now I know for sure," Bunta commented quietly.

Ryousuke furrowed his brow. "What do you know, Fujiwara-san?" he asked carefully.

"I just mention your old man's name and you stiffen up like a continental soldier. Must be nice to have such an obedient son like you. I sure as hell don't know what that's like."

"I'm not 100% obedient," Ryousuke said plainly.

"But you're close."

He couldn't argue that point. Bunta sighed. "Takumi tells me you're leaving the country soon."

"In a few months. To study."

"You got a fiancée yet?"

"No."

"Ah."

"I'm not in any hurry," Ryousuke said softly.

"But your Father soon will be."

Ryousuke didn't need to respond to that.

"So you _are_ going to end this thing with Takumi, aren't you?"

Ryousuke chest tightened and he could feel his pulse racing. "He's aware that this is not a permanent arrangement."

Bunta took another drink. "I'll tell you a little something about my son. Sometimes he's like a kid; he lashes out, has a shitty temper, and sometimes he's one downright crazy little bastard. That much, you've probably seen for yourself, right?"

Ryousuke managed to smile a little. "I sure have."

"But, there are other times when he's more like an old man. He keeps a lot in that head of his, so, even though he's slow, his head isn't empty. Unfortunately, what's in his head is really more connected to his heart. He holds onto things longer than he should, and I'm...a little concerned. I suppose he told you he understood that this isn't going to last."

"He did."

Bunta sighed again. "Then my advice to you is to cut him off _completely_ when it's done."

"Fujiwara-san...," Ryousuke breathed. What was going on here?

"I'm just telling you that you'll both be better off if you do that."

"I hadn't wanted to do that. I intended to always watch his career."

"Then watch it from the comfort of that mansion your Father calls a house and not by my son's side."

Ryousuke frowned. "I'm sorry. I cannot agree to that. I don't want him to disappear from my life like that; even if I know I have to, I already don't want to stop seeing hi-" Ryousuke stopped himself short. Damn. Damn, _damn_! Did he just fail some kind of test? It sure as hell felt like it.

Bunta chuckled a little. "So it really is like that for you, then," the man whispered, shaking his head.

"I-"

"Don't bother apologizing. 'Bout time you showed me your feelings for my son plainly."

Ryousuke didn't know what to say. Thankfully he heard the sound of the hachi-roku. Finally, Takumi had returned.

"Do me a favor, Nii-chan," Bunta whispered.

"What is it that you want, Fujiwara-san?"

"Don't hurt him more than you absolutely need to."

The words hit Ryousuke hard. He lowered his head respectfully. "I promise you I won't."

Bunta nodded. "Because if I find out you have, I'll beat the _crap_ out of your fancy ass," he whispered hotly. "The only reasons I haven't done it so far is because you've been a good influence on his driving, and you set up his car better than I could have done myself given the condition it was in."

"U-understood."

Bunta sighed again, hearing the door of the hachi-roku close outside. He chuckled a little. "Bunch of damn brats, all of ya. Ah well, lighten up a little bit, Nii-chan. I think we understand each other well enough."

"Fujiwara-san?" Ryousuke asked, raising his head, a bit confused about how the man could slip so quickly from a threat of fatherly violence to a completely relaxed demeanor of repose and ease.

"And, another thing. If my son develops more of these 'champagne tastes' that you've been teaching him, I'll know _exactly_ who to blame for it. And if it ends up becoming a habit while he still lives in this house, I'll bill your ass for it too, so don't think I won't."

Ryousuke allowed himself to smile a little. "Understood."

"Good. Then do whatever with him for as long as you both want to, I don't give a shit."

Ryousuke nodded, knowing full well that the opposite was true. Fujiwara Bunta certainly did "give a shit". Even though Ryousuke promised that he wouldn't hurt Takumi unnecessarily, he wondered if he himself would end up hurting more in the end. He probably would, but, for some reason, he didn't think he'd have that anger that he'd had for Kaori; it really _felt_ different this time around. Even if Takumi was no longer to be his lover, he'd still be _there_. Ryousuke could still look at him, maybe even occasionally touch his shoulder they way he did before they'd ever kissed. Maybe he could still take him to dinner and spoil him occasionally. Maybe he could go to Takumi's wedding without any regrets.

Or maybe not.

But he'd still be Takumi, and he'd still be there. And he would still be _loved_ , even if that love had to change.

Takumi stepped in at last, kicked off his shoes, his arms laden with several bags from the convenience store and a nasty look on his face. "Tadaima," he grumbled.

"Welcome back. Put that stuff right here," Bunta ordered.

Takumi dropped the bags indelicately on the table. "I got the beer. I'm broke now. Happy?" Takumi groaned.

"I guess," Bunta affirmed, digging through the plastic bags for a can of the beer and some kind of deep fried junk food that Ryousuke only recognized because he'd sometimes seen its empty bag on the floor of Keisuke's bedroom.

"Anything else, Your Lordship?" Takumi asked sarcastically.

"After you put the rest of the beer in the fridge, you and Nii-chan here can split. We're done for now."

"For now?" Takumi asked, giving a worried glance over to Ryousuke who had somehow been able to pull himself together. He grabbed up the remaining cans of beer and trudged off to the kitchen.

"Yeah. I think he's suffered enough," Bunta added with a chuckle.

" _Suffered?!_ " Takumi exclaimed with alarm from the direction of the refrigerator. "What the hell is that supposed to mean, Old Man?" he shouted.

"Everything's fine, Takumi-kun," Ryousuke managed to say, as he stood to take his leave. He truthfully didn't like the sound of the "for now" codicil either, but, over all, he didn't suffer too much really. Or maybe, he thought, his scale of suffering just got a lot larger than it had been before he'd walked into the tofu shop earlier in the evening. That thought was a little intimidating.

Takumi re-entered the room and gave his father one of his notorious glares of death. "Don't listen to anything this old guy says, Ryousuke-san. He's full of crap."

Ryousuke chuckled a little more nervously than he would have liked. "Shall we go?"

"Y-yeah," his lover agreed, still apparently unsure about what, if any, damage had been done in his absence.

"Have fun, Brats," Bunta said as he flipped on the television. "Be back in time for the delivery though, Takumi."

"Yeah, yeah, we're going," Takumi replied in monotone as he replaced the shoes on his feet. Ryousuke bowed a little before exiting the home, even though Takumi's father was fully engrossed in the news and wouldn't see it. When they had closed the door to the shop, Ryousuke walked over to the FC and Takumi prepared to get into his own car. "Seriously, I hope he didn't annoy you too bad."

"Not at all."

"He...didn't get pissed, did he?" he whispered.

"Didn't seem to be," Ryousuke said casually.

Takumi challenged him with a pointed look, but he seemed to accept the half-answer. "You talked about..."

"A little."

"Shit. Sorry," Takumi muttered, kicking the ground with his sneaker. "I shouldn't have left..."

"It was fine. He's just looking out for you. That's all."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Honestly, I'm very happy to have talked to him. Your father is a very interesting guy."

Takumi scowled. "Why the hell is it that all my friends think he's better than sliced bread? I don't get it. At. All."

"Why don't you let me drive us tonight?" Ryousuke asked with a little laugh.

Takumi furrowed his brow. "You heard the shitty old man. I've gotta be back here by 4:00 AM. It'd be better if I had my own car because you have class in the morning."

"You still haven't let me ride with you on the delivery," Ryousuke pointed out softly. "We could go out for a while, then return back here in time for me to accompany you. Or, have you forgotten that you agreed to it?"

"No," Takumi said with a displeased look. "I haven't forgotten. But we have plenty of time for that."

"Takumi...you'll be getting very busy once I fax these contracts in. We don't have as much time as you think."

The younger one looked at his feet. "Oh." He then raised his eyes and looked back and forth between the two cars.

"Why can't I come with you?" Ryousuke asked directly. This was unfinished business, and he had already resolved within himself that this relationship would not end with anything unfinished. If it was going to end, then Ryousuke wanted to end it without that lingering sense of things left undone that Kaori's suicide had forced upon him. It was different. It _had_ to be different; he _needed_ it to be different.

"It...it's not that you can't," Takumi replied hesitantly. "It's just that I don't think it would really be anything special for you to see that. You've seen me practice hundreds of times now. It wouldn't be different from that. Even the car isn't as powerful, so my times won't be what they were before."

Ryousuke was thoughtful for a few seconds. "That's not your only reason for avoiding it, is it?" he asked gently.

"No."

"Tell me. I want to know."

Takumi shrugged and fumbled with his keys, turning them over in his palm a few times before he gripped them tightly into a fist. "Why do you want to know everything about me when it won't even matter in the end anyway?!" he suddenly shouted.

Ryousuke could feel the anguish emanating from his lover. Could it be that their week apart had been as tough for Takumi as it had been for him? He thought it impossible because he had already mentally decided that Takumi would be fine without him, that _he, himself,_ would be the one having the hardest time when the relationship ended. Takumi would go pro, be busy, and focus on becoming the best racer he could be. He could go back to his girlfriend with no worries, or he could find another one. He could easily lock the memories away and move on, couldn't he? It was supposed to be different, it was supposed to be fine for _him_ once everything was tied up neatly and stowed away into fond memories and happy futures as friends. Was it even possible that Takumi loved him just as much and would be just as devastated? No. This was not happening.

"Takumi..."

"You already know more than you should!" he shouted before glancing back toward the shop and lowering his voice. "And I already know more about you than I should too."

"Is that bad?" Ryousuke asked cautiously. "Is it bad for me to want to know who you are, and is it bad for me to know that you're more familiar with me than almost everyone else in my life is?"

"I don't know!" the downhiller shouted again before making a self-rebuking noise for raising his voice. "It won't matter. You have to do what you have to do and so do I. I don't even know why I'm pissed. But I get pissed when I think this won't matter anymore."

Was it just as his father had said it would be, that Takumi would keep hanging on beyond the point where he shouldn't? Ryousuke hadn't wanted that to happen. He'd wanted Takumi to take their relationship's ending like he took to a battle, with the laid back attitude that had helped him to be able to sleep like a baby in the face of the pressure of an upcoming race, that disposition which allowed him to absorb his experiences and learn while moving forward onto the next opponent. Was Takumi unwilling to let go?

"Of course it will still matter," Ryousuke said carefully. "You will _always_ matter to me. Even if our relationship has to change a little, how important you are to me won't."

"I'm not saying I'm like a girl who needs to get a phone call or something every day, because I don't need that," Takumi said after a couple of calming breaths. "But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't...relieved to see you tonight after all week. Why was I so relieved? I shouldn't be. Honestly, it's...bothering me a lot. I hope you're not mad at me for saying that," he explained quietly.

Ryousuke tentatively put his hand on Takumi's shoulder. When his lover didn't resist, he squeezed firmly, the soft cotton of a t-shirt thin against the strong, broad shoulder underneath his hand. "How could you think I'd get upset over something like that?" Ryousuke asked seriously. The shoulder only shrugged. "Would it help if I told you that I also felt relieved?"

Takumi looked up, as though he was searching for confirmation of the truth of Ryousuke's words. He apparently found it. "Yeah. That helps."

"Okay."

His lover shook his head again. "Why have you done so much for me, Ryousuke?" he whispered. "I'm not your brother."

"No, you're not. I don't believe in romantic things like fate or anything, but I confess to having thought that you might have been born with something particularly special, something I thought I shouldn't ignore. So, you could say, I have a healthy respect for that good luck that caused us to meet when we did. If I helped you achieve a little bit of what you want to do in this life, Takumi, then everything was worth it."

"I...just want you to keep watching me. When you can, that is."

"Then let me watch you from the navi-seat tomorrow morning. Let me see you go all out on your home course in this car," he said, gently moving his hand to the small of Takumi's back to encourage him to move to look at the hachi-roku.

"But if you see that...," the hachi-roku driver's voice trailed off, and his cheeks flushed. "You really will know everything, because I won't hold back. Even when you followed me down about a month ago when I was in the Imp, I was still holding back a little."

Ryousuke was stunned. At that time, Ryousuke had already known he would have lost, and he thought he'd seen Takumi's limits on Akina. It was exciting to learn that he hadn't after all; how many more surprises did Takumi have in store for him as their relationship came to a close?

"Why?" Ryousuke ventured to ask.

Takumi's face flushed again. "I...was distracted. And I was in my dad's car. I didn't want to crash or anything..."

Ryousuke smirked a little, remembering again about the night they'd had that damn argument after he had embarrassed his lover, and Takumi's wonderfully assertive behavior afterward. It was wonderful to learn that Takumi was a little distracted after all. "I see. Were you really that impatient?" he whispered.

"Yeah."

"That's nice to know, actually."

"R-really?"

Ryousuke nodded. "Anyone would be happy finding out that the person they desired, desired them. You have never once told me you were attracted to me after all," he added gently.

Takumi was made mildly uncomfortable by the statement, but he seemed to recover himself. "It's not like you didn't know."

"But I'm only human. It's still nice to hear."

"Anyway," Takumi went on quickly, "if I show you my real driving while you're in the car with me...I don't know if you really want that, and I don't know if I want you to see it."

Ryousuke knew the younger man wasn't talking about the driving. He was afraid that Ryousuke would be able to sense his feelings through the all-out run, and that it would be out there, almost tangible, and unable to be taken back once it was released.

"I see. Then, can I make you another offer, or maybe a trade?"

Takumi looked up, questioning with his eyes. "I guess..."

"All right. I have a condition for it, though," Ryousuke whispered, feeling his heart nearly choke him.

"A condition?"

Ryousuke nodded, the conversation so familiar, so reminiscent of the cool autumn night when he met Takumi after his job at the gas stand to propose the new team. That time had been about a year ago, but it seemed as vivid and as close as yesterday. "You don't get all winter to think it over like you had when I asked you to join my team. You have only tonight to accept or to decline."

"O-okay."

"If you let me ride with you on the delivery tomorrow, I'll take you down the Akagi downhill tonight in the FC. I promise I'll do my best. At this point, with your skills, it's probably not an even trade anymore, but-"

"I'll do it," Takumi interrupted with that determined expression that Ryousuke had grown to admire and love so much.

"That was quick," he remarked with a smile.

"Because I want to see up close how far I still have to go."

The elder exhaled. "I hope you won't be disappointed."

"Please, Ryousuke. Then...I can show you Akina the way I see it..."

That was exactly what Ryousuke had hoped to hear. "Then it's settled," he said quietly. "Let's go; since it's Sunday night, there shouldn't be too many other racers around. If there are, I'm sure they'll let us have the course for one run."

Takumi smiled and walked away from his own car to hang his keys on a hook inside the shop door. When he returned, he waited for Ryousuke to unlock the FC. After a quick stop for gas and a couple of cans of coffee, they were off to Akagi. As expected, once Ryousuke got to the summit, and talked to a couple of people at the top and a couple of others on his cell phone, he came back to the car and leaned over the opened passenger side window. "Give it about five minutes, Takumi."

Ryousuke remained outside of the car, knowing that Takumi had been seen too, but his words to the acquaintances he knew seemed to be enough to establish that they didn't want a fuss made over it. He placed a quick call to Keisuke too, giving him the gist of the situation so that he wouldn't hear about it through the grapevine. He took out a cigarette as he waited for word that the course had been cleared. Normally a run down Akagi was relaxing, like a meditation. But tonight, Ryousuke had the sensation of going into a legitimate battle, the fire in his racer blood igniting. He leaned against the FC, thinking about how many times the car had been there to support him just when he needed it to be. To think he'd have to leave it behind for at least a year in favor of leasing a car overseas; it sucked. He knew he should be waiting inside with Takumi, but if he was going to give it his 100%, he couldn't be distracted either. He smoked the cigarette and followed it by a mint, knowing that this downhill would show Takumi so much more than racing technique. It would show him the one thing he couldn't and shouldn't say. His heart was pounding as he looked back to see someone give him the all clear.

He opened the door, got into the car, and strapped in. "Looks like we're okay to go."

Takumi nodded, and turned his gaze to the road ahead as Ryousuke pumped the accelerator, revving the engine. He gave his mirrors a quick check, stealing a glance toward his lover's perfect profile.

The White Comet took off.

Every corner brought the rush of exhilaration, the freedom he had grown to love with this sport, the passion he'd saved for it. And, just as he had done those years ago with Keisuke, here he was, giving an all out push toward the bottom with someone precious beside him, someone with whom he wanted desperately to share that passion, that love that can only come through when one feels completely free to express it. As his visual markers flew by, he knew he was setting some kind of personal best on the course, mentally calculating the time, mentally choosing the best line, the best attacks. He barely noticed Takumi beside him visually at all; but the presence of him was as intoxicating as was the melody of the rotary engine as it constantly flirted with the red-zone. All that mattered was showing him this course, this line, this _love_. The g-forces pulled and pushed as he rocketed through the pass, tires squealing, the rough clutch work, the relentless shifting of the gears, the quick heel-and-toe braking which could barely be called braking at all: could Takumi understand his feelings with just _this_? God, he hoped so.

He tapped the guardrail to pick up even more speed, launching the FC toward the final corner before the goal, launching him into an ecstasy only rivaled by the ecstasy he experienced whenever he and Takumi made love. He could feel the sweat on his brow, though the night had been cool, and he could feel the intensity of Takumi's stare upon him as he floored it through the final stretch.

Takumi knew. He _knew_ what this drive meant; Ryousuke was certain of it. The goal having been passed, he lifted his foot, but he didn't stop. There was a small group of spectators who tried to catch up at first, but they stopped once they realized that the White Comet wasn't going to remain at the bottom to listen to them ooh and aah over him. It wasn't his game anymore; it now belonged to Keisuke, and to the young man in the car with him. Ryousuke just kept on driving for a while, as if in some type of afterglow. He didn't look over to the navi-seat, but he could still feel Takumi's stare.

Eventually he had to stop for a traffic light, but Ryousuke didn't want imperfect words to mar the beauty of the silent drive. He drove in the general direction of Takasaki, just cruising the familiar streets almost aimlessly, until he started on a route that would take him by his Father's home.

"Ryousuke...?" Takumi whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Are we going...?"

"Yeah. I need to get a few things for class tomorrow; I didn't expect to be out all night tonight."

"Oh. Sorry," Takumi replied, turning to look out the window.

"Don't even think about apologizing."

Takumi turned to look at him once again. "Ryousuke..."

"What is it?"

The young man said nothing, as if he was trying to formulate carefully what he wanted to say.

"Ryousuke," Takumi began again, "I think I'm finally starting to truly get what your reality is."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

Ryousuke pulled up to the neighborhood and tapped a card to a small box to open the gate which was kept closed in the evenings. He drove down the entrance road, made a left, then a right, then another left as he weaved his way through the upscale neighborhood of his Father's home. "So what's my reality, Takumi?" he asked quietly, slowing the car to a crawl so that the passenger would have time to answer before they arrived at the large home.

"I..., no, uh, your passion for racing...your feelings, showing me that...I...know what it means now for sure."

Ryousuke couldn't stop a slight nervous chuckle from escaping. "That was the point of the race."

"And your reality...," Takumi paused, taking in what sounded like a shaky breath, "doesn't make room for those feelings at all, does it?"

Ryousuke sighed as he turned into the driveway of his Father's home all too soon. "It does not."

"Will it really be enough to only watch us? Keisuke-san and me, that is?"

"It has to be. It's your turn. I'm retired. This day has been coming for a long time now; I've managed to postpone it more times than I thought possible, but now, time's up." He looked over toward his lover, and he could see that Takumi's eyes were damp. "Don't worry about such a small thing as this when you've got the whole world as your new stage."

"It's not a small thing!" Takumi retorted desperately. "It's not, and you fucking know it! How, when you have the skills to drive like that, can you just walk away?! How can you let... _me_ do what by all rights _you_ should be doing?! You are amazing! _Amazing_! And...I know it's not realistic for me to be saying all this, but I can't help it. You _need_ to race! Leaving it all behind...it's _wrong!_ "

Ryousuke cut the engine and leaned back against the headrest of the bucket seat, staring at the interior ceiling of the FC. "If you understand my reality like you say you do, then you know it's pointless for you to waste your passion on this. Save it for yourself." He knew he was being a tad too stern, but hearing Takumi's anguished tone was making things even more difficult than he could have imagined. He might as well have confessed his love outright.

No. He _did_ confess it outright. Maybe not in words, but it was there. Now that it was out there, Ryousuke understood completely now why Takumi had been so hesitant to take him on his tofu delivery. It would probably feel just like this drive. Why couldn't he have seen this coming before he'd let it get so deep with the younger man?

No. He _did_ see it coming. Recklessly, he didn't plan for these dangerous consequences that he _knew_ would be there at the end. He didn't _plan._

"Your reality _sucks._ "

"Yeah. Pretty much," Ryousuke said with a gentle laugh, knowing that the sternness made no difference once Takumi had set his mind to something. He'd learned that quickly enough; once Takumi had decided he felt a certain way, it would be tough to make him change those feelings.

"And it sucks that I can't be a part of it...," the younger man added softly.

Ryousuke exhaled. "Don't make me repeat myself; even if things change a little, I'll still be there for you. You'll have a part in my sucky reality, don't worry."

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Yeah. I know."

"I've been told words before," Takumi whispered, studying his feet. "Certain words that are supposed to have meaning when they are said. And, of course, when I heard them, I reacted to it. I thought, so this is what it's like when someone says that. I thought, 'What a strange feeling. Shouldn't I be feeling more than just my sweaty palms and my heart racing? Shouldn't it be bigger than just _this?'_ "

Ryousuke said nothing.

"I thought I knew what it was all about," Takumi continued. "I figured that was as intense as it ever got. I trusted that. Now, I just found out that what I felt before wasn't the limit at all. I won't say anything else, but I _will_ show you Akina in the morning."

"Thank you," Ryousuke whispered, closing his eyes to prevent a hint of moisture that he was starting to feel from entering them.

"Keisuke-san and I," he added, "we will be the _best_. We won't stop. I normally wouldn't dare speak for your brother, but in this case...we both know who it was that got us this far."

"You both already had the talent."

"And we both had you."

Ryousuke was touched. He took a deep breath. "I'll always watch you. I promise."

"Okay."

The two sat in silence for a few seconds more before Ryousuke removed the keys from the ignition. "You all right?" he asked Takumi who still looked a little upset.

"Yeah. But I'm saying again for the record that I seriously disagree with you retiring from racing."

The retired racer chuckled. "You and Keisuke might as well be a chorus. He's said the same thing to me more times than I can count, often using somewhat less than delicate words."

"He's right."

"I'm sure he'd love to hear that you think he's right," Ryousuke said playfully, trying to cajole the obvious disapproval from Takumi's demeanor. He knew he succeeded when his lover scowled.

"Let's not go that far," he grumbled. "I'll still be competing against him from time to time. I don't want him to think I'm giving in on anything."

Ryousuke chuckled a little. "Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. Now, let me get my computer and some other things, and then we'll kill some time somewhere before the delivery."

"All right. I'll wait here."

Ryousuke frowned. "Nonsense. At least come inside for a drink while I gather my things."

Takumi glanced upward toward the large home. "Is anyone else there?"

"My mother is probably home in bed, and Keisuke's here. You've been here before."

"But that was...you know, before..."

Ryousuke just squeezed his shoulder. "I assure you it's perfectly fine. I won't take long."

Takumi took another look at the huge house before nodding and getting out of the car. He followed Ryousuke to the door and walked into the large two-story foyer after he took off his shoes in the generously sized genkan. Within a couple of seconds, Keisuke came toward the front of the house from the family room where the television could be heard blasting a movie.

"Yo. Oh hey, Fujiwara. What's up?"

"Hi, Keisuke-san."

"For someone who is retired, you sure made a big impact on Akagi tonight, Aniki. My phone was ringing off the hook so I finally turned it off."

Ryousuke sighed. "That was not my intention."

"Yeah, I know."

"Keisuke, I'm going upstairs to gather some things for school. Please make Takumi feel at home for a few minutes, will you?"

Keisuke shot him a strange look, but he quickly smiled. "Sure. C'mon, Fujiwara. Want a soda? I'd offer you a beer but _someone_ we both know would probably get mad."

"Uh..soda's fine; I have to make the delivery in the morning so I can't drink."

" _No_ beer," the elder agreed, "and turn the television down. Isn't Mother sleeping?" Ryousuke admonished over his shoulder with a frown as he walked toward the stairs.

"Yeah, yeah," Keisuke replied, rolling his eyes and walking down an ample hallway toward the television room. Takumi stood for a few seconds, suddenly unsure as to whether or not he should follow Keisuke for a soda or wait at the bottom of the stairs for Ryousuke. He decided he'd better follow Keisuke instead of standing there like some dork, and he arrived at the family room in time to see Keisuke pick up the television remote and lower the volume on the massive TV. "Aniki just can't resist being bossy," Keisuke remarked. "It's not like she'll wake up from the TV out here when she falls asleep listening to her own TV in her bedroom and after taking her night-night candy."

 _Huh?_

"'Night-night candy'?" Takumi whispered, confused.

"Yeah, her sleeping pills," Keisuke replied with a sarcastic sounding chuckle. "She's out like a light and it takes an effort to get her up. You've only been here a couple of times, so you've never met the 'rents, have you?"

"No."

"Lucky you."

Takumi didn't really know how to react to that. "I'm sure they're nice people," he offered weakly.

 _Dumbass._

The FD driver laughed out loud. "Yeah, Fujiwara, they're _super_ nice," he said sarcastically. He saw the confused expression on the face of his rival and figured he should elaborate things the way he wanted to when Ryousuke was out of earshot. "I like to say our family puts the 'fun' in dysfunctional, so ya know. Every family's got its problems, right?"

 _Their Mom is sick? Or something? Ryousuke hasn't told me anything like that..._

"Neither of you mentioned your Mom was ill. I'm sorry to hear that," Takumi commented softly.

Keisuke chuckled again. "Nah, don't get the wrong idea, Fujiwara. She's just not right in the head, you know what I mean?"

 _Of course I don't._

"But it's still sad when your mother isn't happy, isn't it?"

Keisuke gave him a hard look. "The only person who's really upset by it is Aniki."

"Shouldn't you be upset too?"

The Takahashi otouto shrugged. "Probably. But, she and I don't exactly get along, so, we just have a mutual agreement to stay out of each others' faces."

Takumi followed Keisuke from the television room into the large kitchen. "I guess worrying about a mother would be tough. I...don't have one, so I shouldn't be prying like that. I'm sorry for being nosy."

Keisuke gave him another odd look. "That's okay. I'm about to be nosy right back."

"Eh?"

"Your mom. She dead?"

The blunt question didn't seem to affect Takumi as much as Keisuke thought it should, and he wondered if his brother had already asked this delicate question much more delicately. Keisuke had known without being told that Ryousuke was incredibly curious about it, and, frankly, he was too. He didn't think any mother, in her right mind or not, would have let her husband put their only son behind the wheel of a car at twelve; even though they had just come across such a mother in Kanagawa anyway who also put her kid in the driver's seat, it certainly clashed with what Keisuke considered to be sane.

"I don't know," Takumi replied matter-of-factly.

"How can you not _know?!_ " Keisuke demanded, shocked at his friend's nonchalant response.

The rival only shrugged. "I just don't. It's been me and my dad for as long as I remember, so, I just had no need to find out."

"Don't you ever wonder?"

"Not really."

"Your dad never told you about her?"

"Nope."

Keisuke shook his head. "That's friggin' weird, you know. You should at least know whether she's alive or not."

 _She's not there, she's never been there, and I've never needed her. Is it really that weird?_

The younger one furrowed his brow. "Honestly, I haven't given it much thought. She's just...not around."

"Has Aniki already asked you about this?"

Now it was Takumi's turn to give his rival an odd look. "Why would he?"

Keisuke rolled his eyes. "I'm sure he wants to know, but has better manners than I do and hasn't asked," he added with a chuckle. "Do me a favor and don't tell him I asked you about it first, okay?"

 _Whatever._

"It doesn't matter. I'd tell him the same thing."

"Yeah, but I know my brother. He won't be satisfied with this 'I dunno' crap," Keisuke replied with a dumb-sounding voice when he said "I dunno". "Trust me on that one, Fujiwara. You have to come up with something better or he'll keep nagging you about it."

 _Why? I mean, I know he gets fixated on stupid crap sometimes, but..._

Takumi frowned. "But it doesn't have anything to do with him, does it?"

Keisuke laughed a little. "If you say so, but Aniki's nothing if not a curious type. He'll want to know anything and everything about you. In his own way, he's quite the busybody."

"How so?"

"If there's something he feels he needs to know, he'll get his info eventually. And he's really annoying about it too, saying things like, 'tell me, I want to know' or 'I'm curious, so tell me everything', or 'if you don't tell me now, I'll make your life miserable until you do,'" Keisuke explained. "It was a real pain in the ass when he used to give me the third degree when I'd show up at home after being out back in the day."

 _Oh crap. This does sound like him. Crap._

"I'm sure that's because you're his brother, and he was worried about you back then."

 _Right?_

"Yeah, I suppose. He's been curious about you since we all met, believe me. It's been annoying as hell."

Takumi shrugged again.

"All I'm saying is that if he asks you questions like that and you blow him off with a stupid answer, don't expect that to be the end of it. Just some friendly advice on dealing with him for ya. Drink?" his friend nodded, but it seemed he was thinking carefully about what he had been told. "Coke?"

"Sure. Thank you, Keisuke-san," he replied quietly.

 _I really don't want to talk about that. There's nothing to talk about anyway, so he'll have to deal whether he likes it or not._

Keisuke nodded and got out a can of soda. "You want a glass, or is the can okay?"

"Can is fine," Fujiwara said plainly. "I wonder what's taking Ryousuke so long," he whispered, looking off in the direction of the stairs the elder had ascended near the foyer. He had already passed that staircase in the front of the house, and there was another one nearer to the kitchen. He couldn't help but to wonder about just how big this house really was that it needed two separate staircases anyway; after all, he'd only seen the foyer, the tv room, and now, the enormous kitchen which had commercial appliances similar to what they had in the tofu shop, yet they were newer and shinier with a "barely used" appearance.

"He's probably checking his stupid email. He gets a ton of email."

"Oh. Yeah."

"Why don't you go and give him some incentive to hurry up?" Keisuke asked playfully.

 _What the hell?!_

"Keisuke-san!" Takumi gasped. "Don't say things like that. It makes me feel weird."

"You are weird."

 _Shut up._

Keisuke sighed, hearing the silent "shut up" behind his rival's scowl. "Look. I'm okay with this you know. Why else would I invite you for a couple of beers now and then so you can get it off your chest when he pisses you off? We're still friends first, and I feel like I want to help you out with him when I can because he can be such a moody bastard sometimes. I was acting stupid before. I'll even give you a pass for you to tell me I'm an idiot for making Kyouko wait so long before I got together with her."

 _Ryousuke, hurry the hell up! But, I have to admit that when Keisuke-san and I go out for beers, I can just vent out what I was mad about with Ryousuke and Keisuke-san helps me think about it from his brother's point of view and then I get it…it does sort of help since Ryousuke can be so complicated…_

Fujiwara stared blankly at him. Irritating.

"Don't just stand there looking at me like that either," Keisuke commanded.

"Sorry."

 _I was born with this face, you know._

The FD driver rolled his eyes. "The most important thing to me in all of this is that Aniki is happier than I've ever seen him, and I have a sometimes-drinking-buddy besides Kenta."

"Is he happy?" Fujiwara whispered.

"Yeah. It's a little bothersome for me because I know the 'rents are going to do everything they can to wreck his life for him, but that's that, I guess."

 _I really don't want to talk about this._

Keisuke could definitely see that Fujiwara was getting terribly uncomfortable with the current conversation, and, frankly, so was he. He decided to change the subject.

"You saw it, didn't you?" he whispered.

Fujiwara met his gaze and Keisuke knew the kid knew what he was talking about. "Yeah."

"His driving's amazing, isn't it?"

Fujiwara looked away a little, but Keisuke could see that his face flushed briefly. "Yeah."

The younger Takahashi opened the fridge again and took out a mineral water for himself and drank it down in a few large gulps before tossing the empty bottle into a bin marked for recycling. "You better not ever let him down when you race. That's an order from your rival," he said sternly, pointing a finger.

Fujiwara turned to face him, suddenly indignant. "You better not either, Keisuke-san. We'll be on different teams, doing different things. But when I do a circuit race, you better be on your top game."

"What?" Keisuke asked, confused.

"You heard me. My contract has a clause that says I can also run circuit races and drift competitions between important rallies if I want. If you're racing in any of those I can race in, you'd better watch it. I'm not really done with you yet."

"Oh-ho-ho, aren't we a tough guy," Keisuke remarked. "So you _are_ planning on trying out the circuit. Interesting. But don't worry, pal, I've got no intention of letting you off easy. Any time, anywhere, and the _loser_ , meaning, _you_ , will be buying all my beers for a _month_!"

"We'll see," Fujiwara replied, with a little smirk. Both the former D Aces laughed a little in spite of themselves.

 _All right. It's okay. I'm okay with Keisuke-san. That's good, right? And I'm happy that he has Kyouko-san now; he could have been with her all this time, but I get why he didn't think he could because I know him better now…_

Before Keisuke could respond, Ryousuke breezed into the kitchen, ostensibly from the back staircase, with a shoulder bag which presumably held his laptop and books, and a small garment bag which presumably held a change of clothes. "It's nice to see you two getting along so well, threatening each other as usual, and probably planning another 'less-than-legal-for- _someone'_ night at a dive bar somewhere," Ryousuke said dryly.

"There's nothing wrong with a couple of beers, Aniki. You're such a snob," Keisuke quipped.

"Sorry I took so long, Takumi," Ryousuke said, ignoring his brother, "I had an urgent email I had to answer."

"That's okay."

Suddenly, Keisuke tapped his brother on the shoulder and graced the elder with one of his dazzling smiles, the one he used specifically for the asking of favors. Ryousuke awarded him with a long-suffering sigh. "What is it?"

"I was thinking."

Ryousuke gave him a suspicious look. "About?"

"About how pathetically long it's been since you spoiled me."

Ryousuke groaned, and stole a sidelong glance toward Takumi who actually looked interested in the conversation. "What do you want now, Keisuke?"

"New rims."

"And I have to buy them...why?" the elder asked with a bored expression.

"Because you haven't done a damn thing with most of the money you made selling off three of the Project D vans," Keisuke explained. Turning to Fujiwara he added, "Aniki is so friggin' stingy with his money sometimes it's criminal."

"Someone has to be," Ryousuke pointed out. "Money slips through my brother's hands like water," he explained to Takumi. His lover smiled, and Ryousuke was happy to see that he was relatively comfortable.

"Aw, come on, Aniki. I've been pretty damn good lately. I've even been saving for…some stuff."

"True."

"So can I use the rest of the van money for the rims? They're awesome. I'll go get the catalogue," Keisuke said, turning to leave the room.

"Not so fast. I fail to see the logic in your request. The sale of the vans was an effort to recoup some of the budget, and I used some for the repairs to the hachi-roku. We were in serious danger of being over-budget when we bought the scooter and the fourth van, you know. Now we're about where I had originally planned. Buying you some new rims was _not_ in D's original budget and you know it."

Keisuke was not deterred. "But you could buy something else for the hachi-roku too. Something for each of your cute drivers!" he exclaimed happily.

"I'm _not_ cute," Takumi declared meaningfully.

"But _I_ am!" Keisuke replied excitedly.

Ryousuke put his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "How much are they?"

"Uh..."

"How _much,_ Keisuke?"

"Well, they're about fifty thousand."

"Fifty thousand?" Takumi breathed.

"Well, yeah," the requestor replied, anxiously awaiting Ryousuke's answer.

"Tell me, Keisuke, is that fifty thousand for a set, or fifty thousand each," his brother patiently asked.

The FD driver seemed a bit hesitant before he responded. "Each," he finally admitted. Takumi could be heard almost choking on his last sip of soda.

"I thought so," Ryousuke said tiredly.

Takumi looked from one brother to the other, and, for the first time, he thought he could actually hear the silent conversation going on between them as they stared each other down.

 _So what are you going to do, Ryousuke?_

"I'll go half," Ryousuke finally relented with another long-suffering sigh.

 _Is this what Keisuke-san calls stingy?!_

"Aw, you're _awesome,_ Aniki!" Keisuke rejoiced.

 _Did Ryousuke just give Keisuke-san one hundred thousand yen for...RIMS?!_

"I know," the elder replied darkly. "Come on, Takumi, let's go before my brother finds another way to drain my wallet."

"Ah don't be like that when you're only getting me half a set!"

"Keisuke-san, you should probably shut up now," Takumi surprisingly contributed.

Ryousuke smiled. "You should listen to him, Idiot. See you."

With that, Ryousuke turned and made for the front door. Takumi tossed a casual "See ya," over his shoulder and followed, leaving Keisuke to stew over the fact that Fujiwara was right. Whenever Ryousuke gave him 100,000 yen with such little arm twisting involved, it was definitely time to shut the hell up. Figures that Fujiwara had to be the one to point it out.

"I'm painting your hachi-roku pink, you little shit."


	40. Chapter 40

Ryousuke's Campus Apartment, Maebashi, Early Monday.

After stopping at the apartment for a while so Takumi could take a nap and so Ryousuke could do some work, it eventually was time to head back to Akina for the tofu delivery.

"Takumi…" Ryousuke said gently as he sat on the bed, shaking his lover a little to wake him. He was met with a soft grumbling sound from the younger, who turned away and nestled himself back into the covers and pillows.

"Takumi, we have to go so we can get back to Shibukawa in time. You need to wake up now."

"Ryou…"

The addressed smiled a little. No one shortened his name like that, even Takumi usually didn't unless he was half asleep as he was now, or it would escape him in those more passionate moments when he was too distracted with pleasure to say his name completely. Ryousuke found that he didn't mind it really, in the second instance especially; it was one of those things that could be added to a bunch of other little moments that were quickly becoming sacred, because they occurred only between the two of them. Their time together was running out way too quickly.

"Takumi…wake up…," he repeated pulling the covers back slightly, and running his fingertips through his lover's soft hair.

Takumi finally turned over, yawning. "'Mmmmstime already?" he asked drowsily through half-open eyes.

"Yes, time to go to work now," Ryousuke said with a chuckle.

In a few more seconds, the half-asleep driver had rubbed his eyes and moved himself to a seated position in the bed. "Ok, I'm awake…" he groaned.

"Pleasant dreams?" Ryousuke quipped lightly.

Takumi seemed to be deep in thought. "I'm not sure…" he admitted, scrunching up his nose a little. "I didn't sleep long enough."

"Fair enough."

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood, tugging a little at his hair before shuffling off to the bathroom. He picked up his jeans from the bedside chair on the way, having crawled into bed for his nap wearing just his t-shirt and shorts. Ryousuke stood as well and made the bed, noting the lingering warmth his lover left behind on the sheets. He hadn't slept himself, having some work to do before his morning classes, but it was satisfying to know that Takumi understood and never protested when Ryousuke had to decline coming to bed with him in favor of homework or studying. He appreciated that his lover made a point not to demand his attention when he had work to do; it was another example of the "no bullshit" type of partner he was.

Again, Ryousuke cursed the cruel irony of it all; why should he have to leave such a perfect partner? Although he'd always accepted his family responsibilities, there was an immature sentiment that kept surfacing lately when he thought about leaving his lover behind in favor of the life he knew he needed to start living.

It wasn't fucking fair.

He could hear the sounds of his lover brushing his teeth and washing his face so he could wake up fully. He had become so used to the idea of Takumi just being around, that he felt like his lover was more than his own separate person; he had become part of him.

It wasn't fucking fair.

Especially after the drive in the FC earlier, there really was no doubt in Ryousuke's mind about what it meant to live these moments with Takumi; it was more than a glimpse of a life he knew he could never have.

Once the bed was made, Ryousuke returned to the main room to get his keys for the ride back to the tofu shop. He had done plenty of studying, but he couldn't ignore the feeling of anticipation that curled within his stomach at the prospect of seeing Takumi's delivery run from the navi-seat of the rebuilt hachi-roku.

Of course, as the trip down the Akagi togue demonstrated, this, too, would show him way more than just driving technique, and Ryousuke was trying to mentally prepare himself for that as well. The feelings that he knew he had conveyed while he drove with Takumi in the navi-seat of the FC were still so fresh that he couldn't help himself a few times to walk toward the bedroom as Takumi napped just so he could watch his lover sleep.

His lover.

In the truest sense of the word, Takumi was his lover.

And it wasn't fucking fair.

Takumi reappeared from the bedroom, still looking a little sleepy, but otherwise ready to go. As he approached, Ryousuke reached out and touched his hand. "Before we leave," he began, "I want you to promise me something."

"What?"

"Promise me that you will not hold back this morning. The car can handle it."

Takumi looked at him seriously. "After what you showed me earlier, how could I hold back?" he responded, closing the space between them and leaning up for a kiss that Ryousuke deepened with caresses of his lover's tongue with his own before pulling back and leaving one more chaste kiss on Takumi's lips.

"Let's go then…"

They sat silently during the drive in the FC, the radio playing softly, the only sound above the noise of the road and of the rotary engine. Wordlessly, Ryousuke drove the route back to Takumi's home; he glanced over to his passenger to see if he had fallen asleep again, but he had not. He had his elbow up on the door frame and his chin resting on his hand in what had become a usual pose as he watched the city fly by in the window.

A few moments later, Ryousuke was driving up the now familiar streets toward the shop. He pulled the FC in front of the hachi-roku which was parked on the curb so as to leave room to place the Trueno's cargo in the hatchback.

Not a moment later, Fujiwara Bunta appeared in the doorway, dangling the keys to the hachi-roku. Takumi alighted from the FC and took the keys to open the hatchback in what Ryousuke assumed was a regular routine, mumbling a soft "good morning" to his father before moving to open the driver's side door. He sat down a bit indelicately into the seat of the car and started it to warm it up as his father returned to the shop.

Ryousuke exited the FC and made his way along the curb alongside of the hachi-roku as Takumi rolled down the window, and as Bunta exited the shop carrying what appeared to be a decently heavy crate of freshly made tofu.

"Good morning, Fujiwara-san," Ryousuke said, moving toward the man, "Please, allow me to assist you with that," he offered, with outstretched hands to help Takumi's father with the cargo.

"Hmm? Well, that's very nice of you, Nii-chan," Bunta replied with a little half-smile, handing over the heavy burden so it could be placed in the hatchback. "At least someone is willing to help out an old geezer like me with the chores," Bunta proclaimed, the pronouncement earning a scowl from Takumi.

"Don't be so lazy, Old Man. Ryousuke-san is my guest here, you know," Takumi grumbled sternly as he closed the door to the car.

"It's all right, Takumi-kun, I'm happy to help your Father."

His lover scowled again in reply, and Bunta ignored his son.

"Sure is nice to have someone like you around, Nii-chan, unlike this ungrateful bastard over here."

"Dad!" Takumi shot back, exasperated.

"It is my pleasure," Ryousuke responded easily. "Your son has graciously offered to allow me to accompany him on the delivery today. I assure you that I will not interrupt his work."

"Oh? Is that so?"

"Yes, I have always been very curious as to your teaching method. I know that I will learn much from seeing it in action."

"I see…"

"Come on Ryousuke-san, get in. We have to get going," Takumi said, as the elder Fujiwara walked back into the shop.

"All right." He gingerly placed the tofu in the back of the hachi-roku and closed the tailgate, climbed into the passenger seat, and buckled his seatbelt. He had settled himself somewhat comfortably when he observed Takumi's father emerge again with a small paper cup.

'This must be the cup of water,' Ryousuke thought. Certainly, Takumi had described it for him, and of course he understood that the purpose was to train the downhiller to have godlike handling sense using the surface tension of the water as the weight-load was distributed, but he had no idea that the cup would be that small or that full. Immediately, he was impressed, not only with Takumi's achievement to do this kind of delicate weight-shifting successfully, but also with the inspiration of his father to create the method in the first place.

"Ok, Dad, I'm going."

"Do a good job," Bunta replied.

Takumi rolled the window back up and pulled the car out smoothly into the small street. "You need to knock it off with all the politeness crap with that guy, Ryousuke. It makes me cringe."

The elder laughed lightly. "He is your Father. He deserves my respect."

"Not that much," Takumi grumbled. "You make me look bad."

"Honestly, it's just natural for me to be that way with someone's parents, or with people I don't know well. I don't even realize I'm doing it, I suppose."

"He's still calling you Nii-chan. How embarrassing can you get."

"You are lucky to have a Father like him, Takumi."

"Oh come on. Now you're really overdoing it."

"Do you think most Fathers would allow you to continue to spend your time with me, despite understanding the nature of our relationship?" he asked softly, seriously.

Takumi was silent for a few minutes. "I guess not."

"I'm very grateful to your Father, for a lot of reasons, Takumi. He loves you very much; no matter how many insults you throw at each other, it's plain to see. I know from talking to him how much he cares about your success in life."

"Yeah, I know."

Once they cleared the surface streets and started on the uphill route to Akina, Ryousuke could see Takumi glancing at the cup in many split-second checks to ensure the water was rolling as it should be. It was clear that he'd been doing this so long that he probably didn't realize that his eyes were shifting back from the road to the cup so much; Ryousuke had the feeling that this was perfectly natural for him, it appeared to be effortless, even though he'd barely had the car back a month with radically changed settings.

"Do you mind if I ask you something, Takumi?"

"Sure."

"Is this the usual amount of water and size of the cup you work with?

"Yeah," he replied, "it's about the same every day. Of course, when I was first driving in junior high, Dad didn't put much water in it at all, and if he's deciding to be a jerk, or if he thinks I need to learn something new, he fills it more than this."

"More?" Ryousuke asked incredulously.

"Yeah," Takumi replied. "He's going easy on me since the car is set up so differently now. I guess he thinks I need to get used to it more, but I'm already used to it."

Amazing. Ryousuke could see the water rolling with each shift in the side-g force as the hachi-roku made it up the hill climb. Speed was not the point of this training method up-hill, because the small car was definitely not appropriate for a hill-climb, but the absolute control Takumi had mastered while climbing to the resort across Akina lake made his sense of the car godlike. Even though the car was sure to have a very different "feel" after the rebuild, Takumi seemed unphased. Ryousuke had been shocked to see how quickly he had adjusted before the Tokyo debut; he'd had the car back not even three full days before the event and he had given a performance that left Ryousuke and Matsumoto both in disbelief that he could have adjusted to such a radically different set-up so soon.

Amazing. Just how many times would he be repeating that word in his thoughts this morning? Ryousuke was confident that Takumi could do this with any car his new team wanted to throw at him. However, he could tell that this car was Takumi's…home.

It was the right plan to give it back to him.

Eventually, the road leveled out some, and Takumi continued to drive to the large resort that was across the lake. Ryousuke had never been there, but he'd seen it from across the lake recreation area several times when he and Takumi had just…ended up there.

Takumi would look past the little swan-boat rental place and stare at the lights of the houses and of the resort across the lake with his famous faraway gaze, and Ryousuke would enjoy the quiet while working on his laptop; the silence would often only be punctuated by the tapping of the keys as he typed, a few rocks skipped into the lake, or the "pop" of a can of coffee, but rarely was it interrupted by talking. It was the picture of serenity, and neither of them had to say much when they were there. When was it that he had become so comfortable with Takumi that words weren't even needed to enhance it? He wasn't sure. Like most things in their time together, it had happened so fast, so naturally, that the danger zone his lover represented had almost faded away into nonexistence.

Almost.

He knew that Takumi realized he would not always be free to come to Akina as often; maybe that's why whenever they didn't have something specific planned, or if they didn't have time to actually spend the night together, they had ended up here. He himself had a similar sense of attachment for Akagi, but Ryousuke also knew that the depth of Takumi's emotions and instinct was much deeper than his own emotions allowed him to go.

However, Takumi had a way of pulling people in, seducing them with his depth, and Ryousuke was acutely aware that he'd been drawn in deeper than he should have ever been. One by one, all his reservations were nullified by this person, his lover, to the point where passion and comfort came too, too easily whenever they were together.

Takumi drove around to the back of the resort to the delivery dock outside the resort's restaurant. He executed a smooth three point turn and backed into a space by the delivery door where a resort employee stood waiting.

He cut the engine so he could open the hatchback with the keys and Ryousuke just stared at the cup of water as it settled, a tiny vestige of a little rolling whirlpool sitting absolutely dead center and not a millimeter off.

Amazing. That thought again.

He heard a hushed "Good job, Fujiwara-kun," through the open hatch from what he supposed was the kitchen manager, and Takumi closed the tailgate and entered the car again, stuffing what Ryousuke assumed was a check into the back pocket of his well-worn jeans before he resumed his place in the driver's seat.

"See? No big deal," he commented offhandedly as he started the car again and revved the engine a couple of times.

Ryousuke chuckled softly, almost to himself. "Thank you for showing me that," he said. What else was there to say? There was no computer hooked up, no data to review to unlock the secret of just how Takumi could have that perfect unity with this imperfect machine; there was only that humble, laid-back attitude that had captivated him the very first time he'd laid eyes on him.

Having to leave this person behind was just not fucking fair.

But life wasn't meant to be fair. At least, according to his parents, it wasn't.

And now, as they drove back toward the lot at the summit, Ryousuke could see a shift in Takumi's demeanor; it was barely perceptible, but Ryousuke had come to recognize a seemingly unlimited number of barely-there things with his lover, so he knew.

Takumi was entering the Zone.

He applied the brakes at the starting point of the downhill, raised the e-brake and put the car in neutral. He rolled down the window.

"I'm throwing out the water now," he said, his voice barely over a whisper. "I can't do a real attack run on the downhill with it; I'm not that good."

Ryousuke just shook his head slightly. "No, Takumi, you are definitely 'that good'."

The young driver tossed the water out the window and replaced the empty cup back into the single cup holder. "Is there anything specific you want to see?" he asked, ignoring Ryousuke's comment.

"Yes." Ryousuke replied.

"Okay, what? The gutter thing?"

"Show me everything."

Takumi turned his head and Ryousuke saw the intensity building in his gaze. His brow was furrowed slightly, his eyes churning like a typhoon that started way out somewhere in the ocean and that was now coming onshore. This had to be the Fujiwara Zone he had experienced so many times from the sidelines, and now he was barely a foot away from it. There was electricity in the car; it was almost palpable against the humming of the engine at idle.

"I'm ready," he pronounced with a deadly serious tone that took Ryousuke aback; it was the same way he felt when Takumi's temper would flare up out of nowhere and crash down around him like being caught in the caldera of a massive volcanic eruption.

But there was no anger here.

It was passion.

Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous, dangerous….the word on playback again in Ryousuke's mind as his lover turned to face the course and revved the engine again, the gauges flicking wildly with each press of his foot, knuckles whitening on his right hand as he gripped the wheel.

And then there were no more words.

He threw it in gear and the hachi-roku squealed off the start and Ryousuke was immediately entrapped within, mesmerized, as Takumi dove into the first corner so fast, with such reckless abandon, and yet, it was completely controlled.

The G's made the strap of the seatbelt dig into his shoulder and chest, marking him, claiming him, just as assuredly as his lover sometimes marked him in their most passionate moments when he took control. Every corner, a new discovery, every line perfectly achieved…and then..that drift.

The view out the windshield flipped wildly back and forth, the constant side G's causing Ryousuke to skip breathing every time the car turned sideways, the overspeed bell ringing, ringing, the keychain absolutely horizontal as Takumi executed one perfect drift after another…

He rocketed past the skate park; the engine in the car now was not the racing engine anymore, so the overspeed bell kept on warning, warning, warning of the five consecutive hairpin curves that were about to appear, and his lover ignored it…ignored it!…as he careened into the exact opposite side of the line in a feint so intense Ryousuke was convinced that he'd waited too long. He involuntarily gripped the handle bar more tightly and, before he realized it happened, Takumi had somehow nudged the weight-load into that perfect inertial drift Ryousuke had seen from him when they battled that long summer ago. Ryousuke was wide-eyed and blinking: how-did-he-do-that-how-did-he-do-that-how-did-he-do-that-how-did-he-fucking-do-that?

He managed to tear his gaze from the constant flipping of the 180 degree view out the windshield as the hairpins showed their fangs, and he saw such intensity…such passion..such love in the face of the Beautiful One…

Takumi cleared the hairpins in a mad dash to the final corners of Akina, dropping the car into the gutters and out again with barely a hint of motion in his body while doing it…complete concentration and a will of iron displayed in his face, his gorgeous body seemingly unaffected by the G's and the blurred scenery and the darkness, pulling Ryousuke in like he was a black hole from which there was absolutely no escape.

No escape.

At last, the final corner was approaching, and Ryousuke kept staring at the Beautiful One, not wanting to miss anything, wanting to hold on to this moment, unwilling to let this drive come to an end but knowing, knowing that the last corner was the last corner and it would have to end.

Everything would end, and it wasn't fucking fair.

The final corner was cleared, and Takumi pushed the hachi-roku toward the goal at the bottom and past it, whipping the car into the parking lot and slamming the brakes to grind the hachi-roku to a shuddering, squealing stop.

Now all that was left was the hum of the engine, the scent of burning rubber mixed with a hint of Takumi's shampoo and sweat, and the sound of him breathing…breathing…then choking on his breaths…choking…

But was it really his lover's breaths that were piercing through the space between them in the car?

Ryousuke looked down at his own heaving chest and his own shaking hands…Oh, dear God, they were not Takumi's breaths! They were his own breaths hitching, choking, being barely held back and now wanting to escape…the feeling of absolute panic that snapped him back in time to that awful last phone call with Kaori, when he had heard her sobbing through her shaky voice as he begged her to let him know where she was, that he would drop everything and go immediately to her even as the line went dead. And then she herself was dead. Dead! And he couldn't do anything to stop her from taking that fucking needless escape route that sent both him and Houjou Rin into the depths of hell to deal with their own hurt and longing and anger. She escaped and left them to fucking live on and regret.

No escape.

He felt his lover's eyes on him, calm, boring through to the deepest parts of his soul, to the deepest feelings that never should have been there after losing Kaori, and he just kept choking back what was welling up from those thousand depths, praying it wouldn't come out, hoping he could hold on for dear life as he'd held on to the handle bar through the hairpins, to prevent uttering the name of that that secret feeling that was now not secret at all, what he should have said to Kaori all along and worked it out with Houjou later, and fuck arrangements and reality and his senpai's feelings for her, because he wanted her for himself but never allowed it to actually happen! And now, with Takumi, to plunge completely into that danger zone and screw fucking unfair reality, and just say-it-say-it-say-it-say-it…

"R-Ryousuke…?"

He barely heard the soft voice beside him as he kept hyperventilating, holding back those words, desperately losing the ability to do it with each passing anguished, panicked second, his head in his hands now and, goddamn it, why couldn't he fucking stop it?!

"I love you, Ryousuke."

The hyperventilating stopped. The shaking of his hands stopped. His breath stopped. The unfair real world…

Just.

Stopped.

"I love you, Ryousuke."

He couldn't raise his head from his hands, his brain on complete overload with one single thought: 'Why, Takumi? Why-why-why-why-why-fucking-why?!'

And then, a firm hand on his shoulder gripping tightly but exuding calm and peace, desperately trying to transfer that calm and peace to him through touch. Calm. Peace. Was Kaori here with him again? Was she there guiding that strong hand, granting him permission to accept that terrifying feeling he felt back then while never having had the actual courage to tell her?

Love.

"Why did you say it?" he heard his own hoarse and choked voice whisper through his hands.

"So you don't have to."

Shock.

Then, breathing. Breathing more deeply now, the calming hand on his shoulder, the hum of the car, the words hanging in the air, the mental image of Kaori crying into the phone replaced by the remembrance of her smiling in a gorgeous sundress and glowing in the daylight…

So you don't have to.

Pathetic. Takumi could say it; despite his youth and inexperience, he understood how real this was all too well.

So you don't have to.

Coward. He never told her. He never told her. He never told her anything. Oh, dear God, had she just given up on waiting for him to say the words after all?! Was everything really his fault like Houjou always thought it was?!

No. It had been correct to move on; maybe some of the things he did or said with regard to other people in the ensuing two years weren't correct, but he did those things anyway for good or ill. It was his responsibility to keep moving forward. He'd said that to himself, and he had meant it. It was his message to Houjou: a person can't just curl up and die because things get hard.

So you don't have to.

"Ryousuke…"

How could this person be so brave, so reckless, so gorgeous, so amazing, and so fucking perfect for him that Ryousuke knew, he _knew_ , that there was no way he could possibly leave him and stay sane?!

Breathing. Breathing. Now he was able to raise his head from his hands and look out the windshield, not yet able to meet the staring gaze of the young man beside him. He could now hear Takumi's breaths with his own, the hum of the car was gone; at some point Takumi had switched off the ignition without him even noticing.

This was the danger zone fully realized. Takumi had pushed them both to the edge with this drive, and it was this special young driver who had the guts to actually jump from that edge into the abyss by saying the words. How could Ryousuke let him do that, knowing that he had no plan, no simulation in place to combat the unfairness of reality in order to keep them together?!

Wait.

Since when had he been able to plan anything about Fujiwara Takumi anyway?

Ryousuke had already decided he wouldn't let this end with the sense of unfinished business that he'd had with Kaori. Maybe if he would have had the courage to tell her outright instead of leaving things so ambiguous and only implied, she would still be alive. But maybe not. He could never know that answer now, but words do have power, and, when that doesn't work because someone won't listen, one's actions must speak. Takumi had done both. He had the courage Ryousuke himself lacked, and, more than anyone, his lover deserved to know the truth. Maybe he should just take his own fucking advice and keep moving forward.

Fine then. Decision made.

For this one moment in this unfair life, his parents' prescribed reality can just go _screw_.

"Takumi," he began, "I-"

"No! Don't!" Takumi interrupted with an anguished tone, his shoulders suddenly squared with tension. "I don't want you to have to say anything! I know you have to leave, and you were upset and I just needed you to know, but I don't need you to say it back because I know how much harder this is for you! So don't!"

Ryousuke took a deep breath and finally looked into those churning, impossibly-colored eyes of the Beautiful One, seeing the moisture gather at their edges, the tense and trembling shoulders a sign of a much deeper, raging, river of emotions just barely contained, a sign that the calm he had exuded before was quickly retreating.

This, too, was reality after all; unfinished business be damned.

"No, you need to hear this from me. I should have said it a million times already, so please," he finally said, taking Takumi's hands into his own, "let me borrow your strength and courage and please listen to every word. If…I don't do this, then I can't move forward, and that, I refuse to accept from myself."

A nod of permission was granted, and tears began soundlessly to fall onto his lover's cheeks and further onto their clasped hands with searing heat. Ryousuke steadied himself, willing himself to have the strength to set aside the gut wrenching sight of the anguish displayed all over Takumi's beautiful face. He'd as much declared it the evening before on Akagi, but even that was not as real as this very moment in time. Everything had to be said now, he knew, because there would never be another now.

"Takumi," he began softly, taking a deep breath, "No matter that this has to end, I will love you…No matter where your life takes you, I will love you…No matter who you love in the future, I will love you." The hot tears continued to fall from the young driver's eyes. "And," Ryousuke whispered, "no matter who my family tells me to marry and love, I will always love…you."

There were no more words to say.

No more.

None.

Takumi closed his eyes and exhaled. Ryousuke traced every centimeter of Takumi's beautiful face with his own trembling fingertips, down to his neck, and, finally, back down to the hands that Takumi had clenched once again into fists into his lap. He held his own hands over the clenched fists, squeezing them tightly. The ticking sound of the hachi-roku's engine as it cooled was like a clock winding down to nothingness. Seconds felt like days as they sat, the barest hint of sunrise starting to appear through the mountain mist of Akina.

Tick-tick-tick…Tick-tick….tick-tick…tick…tick..

Takumi relaxed his fists, his eyes still closed, as if sight would only mar the purity of the moment. He allowed Ryousuke to weave his fingertips in between the fingers of his loosened hands. "Now what…," the younger one whispered.

Ryousuke squeezed his hands tightly before raising one of his own hands to the side of his lover's face again, fingers caressing a warm and dampened cheek.

"I don't really know…."

Almost imperceptibly, Takumi nodded. Instinctively, he moved closer, and their lips met; he gently drew Ryousuke's lower lip between his own and parted them with a softly caressing tongue, sensual and deep, yet not demanding.

Joining,

Belonging.

Accepting.

Then parting again.

This love evolved just as they had joined together from separate existences by a passion for the street, belonged together to achieve the Dream, and accepted the depth of each other's' feelings, only to be soon parted again to their own separate realities. They would be able to move forward from this. They had to, because there really was no other choice.

Takumi opened his eyes and started the car; he drove silently back to the shop, his hand leaving Ryousuke's only to shift the gears before holding it between each shift-point until they had pulled up behind the FC.

"I'll call you after class," Ryousuke said at length after they had stayed sitting there for a few minutes in the hachi-roku after they parked, neither one of them wanting to break the spell that special car seemed to have cast that was keeping them together within its embrace. "I don't work again until the day after tomorrow. We'll…figure this out."

"Okay."

With that, Ryousuke finally opened the door and exited the hachi-roku. He got into the FC and revved the engine before pulling away from the curb, leaving Takumi to watch him go from his own driver's seat.


	41. Chapter 41

Takahashi Residence, A Month Later, October, Thursday, 12:00 AM

Ryousuke was working on yet another assignment for medical school; he had just typed the last sentence of his report and clicked the spell checker. Of late, he had put himself in the habit of translating his assignments into English also so that he could practice writing in that dreadful language, knowing that for the next year, all of his work had to be written using it.

English, somewhat like Japanese, was sort of a rougher sounding language to his ears; it lacked the beauty of French, the melodic sound of Italian. It could be choppy and, God, the spelling! In his youth, he had made many a tutor frown with misspelled compound words and misplaced synonyms and homonyms. It was sort of an annoying language with rules that made no sense, and it had never quite come easily, despite the fact that he was conversationally fluent by now.

Although thankful to whomever had invented spell check, which fixed his most egregious errors but ignored the misused homonyms in a way he found to be absolutely infuriating, he felt confident that he could do this. He could make it over there for a year. It was fine. That didn't stop him from making sure he had purchased the most up-to-date Japanese-to-American-English dictionary he could find, however, one that had included several slang terms as well. He didn't want to come off sounding _too_ much like a textbook while conversing with his future classmates after all.

September had just rolled into October now, and the Aces were about to begin their final negotiations. They had each selected a team and Keisuke was scheduled to sign within a week, with training to begin after the first of the year.

Takumi was scheduled to sign in early November, and then immediately he would be moving to Hokkaido to start practicing on snow, dirt, and gravel and on all kinds of practice tracks in preparation for Rallies that could be on all sorts of unexpected terrain. He hadn't said too much outwardly, as usual, but Ryousuke knew that he was incredibly excited to get going. When they would sit together on the sofa at his apartment with the laptop to research techniques and to watch videos of rallies both in Japan and overseas, he could tell that Takumi was absorbing everything he saw and that his hands were itching to grip the wheel of the Toyota Celica ST205 he would be using.

Ryousuke had feared that the dynamics of their relationship would change after their mutual feelings had been verbalized, but, it hadn't really. It was such a relief that they simply slipped back into what had become a sort of routine of texting and "hanging out" and other things too. Call it dating, because that's what it still was, and Ryousuke still had a hard time believing he was actually doing that and actually enjoying it.

The only thing that had changed was that there had been fewer flare-ups of Takumi's temper, and Ryousuke didn't mind that change one bit. Despite the lack of spats, Keisuke and his lover still managed to find time to go out for drinks sometimes, but, it was nice that they went because they wanted to hang out as friends and not because Ryousuke had fucked up in some way.

His concern that the relationship with Takumi would irrevocably damage the friendship that had developed between his Aces had melted away over the last month, and the three of them settled into an easy pattern of companionship that was an extension of their time together as part of Project D. Ryousuke was also relieved that the two had remained close so that they could support each other when he would be so far away from them as they made their respective professional debuts. It was a wonderful thing, even if it meant that Takumi's initial caution about going to a bar with his brother for an occasional drink while still technically being underage had all but disappeared. It was fine; neither one of them did it to excess when they met. Keisuke was careful about it and so was his lover. His Aces deserved to have a little fun before the reality of being professional drivers who had to maintain times and sponsors and everything else truly set in.

Keisuke's own "plus one" was a nice addition to their ensemble of three when she would join them for dinner, and Ryousuke hoped that Keisuke knew how lucky he was to have such a charming and lovely girl on his arm. Iwase Kyouko wasn't overly affectionate, and she certainly wasn't spoiling his brother, but Ryousuke could definitely sense her devotion. That girl would probably follow Keisuke to the ends of the earth if that was where racing would take him, so he was sure Keisuke had realized that having someone in his life who cared for him would definitely not be a hindrance to him professionally.

And, naturally, Keisuke cared little about whether or not their parents would approve of her, which they probably would not since she didn't come from wealth. However, they probably wouldn't be able to stop Keisuke anyway, so perhaps they would just tell him to do what he wanted before heading straight to their attorney to cut him off financially for doing it.

Thankfully, Keisuke stood to have a very successful career, so he would still have plenty of resources to support a wife and family someday, with or without their parents' help. Not only that, Ryousuke had put together a contingency plan some years back to prepare for such a disinheritance to occur because, at the time, it could have happened at any moment. He had convinced Keisuke to let him help manage his money as part of his simulation for getting his brother back on track, and he had taken a big chunk of it and invested it on his brother's behalf. Keisuke would be fine as long as he had no idea that he had some serious assets to his name. Ryousuke would love for nothing more than to give his own assets to him as a gift whenever he decided to settle down with someone. And then, he'd be speed-dialing Fumihiro and his family's accounting firm to insist that they manage it. There was no way he was going to let his brother have complete control, even if he knew he had to butt out of Keisuke's personal family finances in the future. No.

Ryousuke was pretty sure that someday Iwase Kyouko might become his giri no imouto, his sister-in-law, so he definitely made sure that he kept a pleasant air about himself whenever she was present. The fact that she had been a former opposing team's Ace was water long under the bridge.

She seemed not to care that she was the only woman present when they went out either, and that was also a plus. He supposed that she was simply used to being the only rose amongst the thorns since serious female street racers were very much something of a rarity. She never initiated any questions as to why her boyfriend's brother and friend never brought any dates along with them as, no doubt, some girls would. It was as though that anything that was an extension of Keisuke was accepted by her, and Ryousuke had a deep appreciation for that.

Of course, he didn't plan on telling her anything, and it looked like Keisuke hadn't either at this point, so it really wasn't much of a worry to him. Takumi liked her as well, so friends was a suitable classification for things anyway.

He was about to send his report, the Japanese version of it, to his Professor when an email from the Associate Dean of the Michigan medical school popped up in his inbox:

 _From: Assoc. Dean William J. Michaels_

 _To: Ryousuke Takahashi_

 _Sent: Wednesday, 11:50 AM EST_

 _Subject: International Student Orientation Information_

 _Hello, Mr. Takahashi:_

 _You will shortly be receiving materials relating to our University's International Student Orientation program. This is required of all International Students planning to study at the University, regardless of area of concentration._

 _Since you plan to arrive before the start of the Winter Semester due your interest in auditing a few lectures, arrangements have been made for you to attend an abridged form of the program which will begin promptly at 8:30 AM on November 1. We have attached some preliminary materials to this email so that you may arrange for housing with the Housing Department, and there is also information with regard to other campus life essentials. Please call the office of International Student Affairs during normal business hours (8:30 AM - 4:30 PM EST, M-F) should you need assistance with any of these matters._

 _Should you have academic concerns, my office hours are also 8:30-4:30, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I understand that you may wish to correspond with me via email due to the time zone difference, but please feel free to call if needed using the number provided in the attachment._

 _We look forward to having you as a student in our International Program._

 _Kindest Regards,_

 _W.J. Michaels, M.D., Ph.D_

 _University of Michigan, School of Medicine_

 _Ann Arbor, MI, 48109 USA_

What?!

Ryousuke re-read the email five times. What was this about November 1? On his matriculation materials he was _positive_ he indicated that he would attend the International Student Orientation bullshit in December at the end of their fall semester. That was the second week in December, just after regular classes had let out for the holidays. Why was the email stating that he should attend beginning November 1st? And he certainly didn't intend to "audit lectures". What the hell did that mean? He thought that the word "audit" was used more for money and accounting. He opened an internet search engine and typed in a query to find all meanings of the phrase "audit lectures" and he grabbed his stupid dictionary while the page loaded.

The internet won the race against the book and he read the results. 'Oh, that's just fucking great.' Apparently it meant that a student got to sit in on lectures for free but for no credit earned. Why in the hell would the Dean think he would want to do that? There was no reason to sit through a boring lecture and not even get credit for being bored!

There must have been some mistake. He opened the file on his computer where he had saved a copy containing his statement of intent to enroll. He wasn't imagining things; his copy clearly stated that he would be arriving Stateside December 6th to begin the Orientation to be held a few days later.

Damn! Did he miss something when he was reading everything the University had sent back to him? He didn't think so. What the hell time was it? It was about a little after noon there now, wasn't it?

He returned to the email and opened the attachment to obtain the phone number for the Dean's office so he could at least clarify that he had no desire to get bored for nothing and had no need to "audit" anything. He threw open a desk drawer and removed the box that contained an international cell phone that he'd activated a couple of weeks prior, before placing it back in its box and leaving it there untouched. He took out the device which was a little clunkier than his usual phone, and he plugged it in so that he would have power feeding to it during the call. He'd barely charged it after he bought it before stuffing it away until he would need it, about two _fucking months_ from now, not intending to even look at the damn thing until absolutely necessary. As in, he'd look at it on the day he left Japan.

Since the email had just come through, perhaps he could catch the Dean or maybe his Secretary if he immediately responded. He took a calming breath to regain some sort of composure and dialed.

"Good Afternoon, Dr. Michaels's office, how may I assist you?" came a cheerful Americany-sounding female voice.

"Good Afternoon. This is Ryousuke Takahashi speaking; I have just received an email from Dr. Michaels and I was wondering if I might speak with him? I am calling from Japan," he added for effect, hoping that the cheerful woman would understand that he was calling in what was the middle of the night for him, so it must be important.

"I see, I don't think he's stepped out for lunch just yet, so please hold for a moment, okay?"

"Thank you."

The hold music started to play what he thought might be one of the Schubert Symphonies. He was so pissed off, but he dared not show that to the Dean if he answered. Breathe. Surely it was some administrative error. God, he hoped it was.

He allowed the classical music to distract him, in an effort to keep calm. Was it the Unfinished Symphony? No. The key was major, not minor. It must be Symphony number 9. He tried to place it in his brain to allay some of the edginess he was feeling until the cheerful voice picked up again, right before the next downbeat. "Thanks for holding. I'll transfer you to Dr. Michaels. Have a great day!"

Americans were so…bubbly. Yikes.

The hold music played for exactly two beats more until the line opened again.

"This is Dr. Michaels. Am I speaking with Mr. Takahashi?"

"Yes, Doctor. I just received your email message; thank you for taking my call so soon after sending it."

"Oh, it's no problem at all; I hardly expected an immediate response due to the time difference, but I have a few moments; I'm happy to help you."

"Thank you. I will get right to the point, if that is all right."

"Go ahead, I know international calls are very pricey."

"Thank you. I noticed that you indicated that the International Student Orientation was to begin November first. If I recall, my prior communications stated that I was to attend the session which started on December 10th. May I ask what prompted the change?"

"Oh? I'm quite sure we received something from you stating that you will be moving here sooner than that time…let me get your file again…"

Ryousuke heard some shuffling of papers in the background as he tried patiently to wait to hear confirmation of the administrative error.

"Ah, yes. This letter from you was received by the admissions department a couple of weeks ago stating your intent to move here early in order to attend a few lectures, and to have more time to acclimate to our country before starting your classes in January."

What?!

"I am terribly sorry, Dr. Michaels, but I sent no such letter."

"Is that so? Clearly, the letter is signed 'R. Takahashi'. Is there a problem, Mr. Takahashi?"

Then, he knew. 'Oh God.' His Father must have sent the letter; the whole "auditing lectures" thing was ridiculously obvious now, and now he also knew he'd be fucking doing it too. 'Classic checkmate move, Asshole. _Shit!'_

"Ah, I see. No, Sir, there is not a problem. I believe my Father must have sent that letter; he is also R. Takahashi. I will discuss this matter further with him. My apologies for interrupting your day."

"Hold on, now, Mr. Takahashi. Are you telling me you had no idea that you would be here in a just a few weeks?" the voice on the other end asked with a note of genuine concern Ryousuke could detect. His stomach turned sour, his blood was boiling, and a headache was blooming. How could his Father do this without saying one goddamn word?! He had to keep his voice calm.

"It is absolutely fine, Doctor. I will meet with my Father and I will be there according to what was arranged."

There was a silence of a few seconds on the other end before the Dean spoke once more. "Is everything okay at home Mr. Takahashi? We're here to help you if it isn't," he remarked.

God. He had forgotten how forward Americans could be with complete strangers. That was going to be tough to get used to, but, as the Dean, he was responsible for the welfare of the students to an extent, so Ryousuke filed it under "job duties" for now. He had way more pressing and awful thoughts spiraling through his mind.

"Of course everything is as it should be," he responded.

"Hmm," came the thoughtful reply. "That is very diplomatic of you to say."

"Pardon?"

"You know, Mr. Takahashi, ah, can I call you Ryousuke?"

"Sure." Why the hell not. Whatever. At least he pronounced his name correctly, which prompted the thought: 'One point to you, Sir, then, deduct half a point because I'm just annoyed.'

"Well Ryousuke, we do see students pushed into the medical profession from time to time because it's a family business. But not everyone is suited for it. I hope that you are either suited for it, or that your parents will understand it if you're not."

"I am well suited for it, Sir."

Another few seconds of silence. "Okay. That's good, then." The voice sounded more cheerful this time, or maybe it was fake-cheerful out of some sort of respect for a privacy expectation; Ryousuke couldn't tell just from the sound of the man. He was so angry at this moment, he couldn't trust his own mouth to do anything but to provide a rote polite response to anything. He needed to distract his brain again to make it through the rest of the call. The Dean continued, "I do want to emphasize, though, that while you are here with us, the feeling of community is important and we take care of each other. We especially want to make International Students feel at home. Please keep that in mind until you arrive."

"Absolutely. Thank you very much." Geez. Psychotherapy over the phone already?

He wasn't sure if the Dean was prodding for more information or not, and he certainly didn't feel like supplying it, but he couldn't tell if the man was actually concerned or if he was just patronizing him. It was a little unnerving to say the least. This Dean's accent sounded a little different than had the secretary's, so it was difficult for Ryousuke to catch nuances over the phone. America was a huge country and he'd heard a number of different accents over the years, and Dr. Michaels sounded similar to a tutor he once had from a city called Providence somewhere on the East Coast of the country. Maybe the man was from there originally, or from a city nearby to it like Boston or New York. He wasn't sure. But he spun the aimless thought drabble around in his mind to prevent the growing rage from escaping into the phone call, because he was about to go ballistic on something if it lasted much longer.

"I know you will enjoy it here. This is a great place to live and to study, but it's cold here, I hope you like winter! Have you ever been to the States before?" Was this jolly-kind-uncle-sounding guy seriously a professional doctor? And an academic Dean no less? Did he already think they were long lost best friends?

"Yes, I have, several times with my family. I look forward to attending classes at your fine University," he said smoothly. At least the Asshole taught him how to lie in the most polite way possible too.

"Good!" came a now enthusiastic answer. Again. Bubbly, cheerful, in-your-face Americans who liked to become friends as soon as you met them; even the men were like this sometimes, he knew, and it was making his head pound even more. Wow. Ryousuke knew that he loved to lecture and could definitely be accused of talking people to death, but not over a first phone call to someone he never met. And this guy was _still talking!_

"We are very excited to have you here. I understand your Father is quite the successful surgeon and I also understand that he owns a very sizeable hospital conglomerate in your country. He must be very happy that you wanted to follow in his footsteps."

"I suppose he is." Oh, he was sure his Father _would_ be happy about shipping him off more than a month and a half ahead of schedule to be the fucking doting nephew to this Kindly Uncle. It was probably Good Old Dad's own little revenge game to punish him for prolonging Project D just _slightly_ longer than originally planned. ' _Goddamnit!'_

"My son is actually a grad student majoring in piano here at the Music School," the Dean casually offered, "A little far off from being an Opthamologist!"

"That's very nice indeed." What he wanted to say was: "I seriously do not care about your piano-playing son right now. Must you share everything about yourself when I'm this pissed off?!"

"Oh! I am so sorry; here I am babbling on your international call! Please forgive me. We look forward to seeing you; please email me with any other concerns, okay?"

"I will. Thank you for taking my call, Doctor. I look forward to meeting you as well." No. He didn't.

"Okay, good-bye then. See you in a few weeks."

"Good-bye."

Click.

He roughly tossed the phone across his desk where it came unplugged from the charging cord, bounced, and landed with a soft thump on the carpet. He was so beside himself with fury that he barely heard his other phone beep with a text.

When the sound finally registered, he didn't feel like even looking at the number, not really wanting to deal with anyone. He massaged his temples and stared at the blinking message light. Was it Keisuke? He said he was going out with Kenta because Kyouko had something else she needed to do. Maybe he was drunk and needed a ride home from somewhere. He took a couple of calming breaths, and put a couple of eyedrops from the bottle on his desk into his eyes before he relented and looked at the phone.

It was Takumi. Of course it was. Shit.

He forced himself to get up from his desk chair to lay down on his bed, to stretch out and try to push aside his anger before reading the text. It wasn't like he could do anything about it at this hour anyway; he decided that he was not going to say anything about this latest development until he had the chance to confirm things with his Father. Perhaps he could reason with him a little more and assure him he didn't need any "acclimation time" or no-credit lecture bullshit. Right. Not likely to happen, but the chance was not zero, so he decided Takumi didn't need to know anything tonight.

He also seriously didn't want to be accidentally pissy with his lover and cause any kind of reciprocative response from Takumi. There was definitely no need to crawl down _that_ rabbit hole right now.

Deep breath. Nothing could be done tonight.

He opened the text from his lover: "Just checked yesterday's mail. I got the specs for the Celica. Do you want? ~Taku"

Ryousuke exhaled. Three text sentences. That's all it took to place a smile on his face and to put aside his foul mood for the moment. Not to mention the way-too-cute manner in which Takumi signed all his texts with using the hiragana "ta" and "ku" for the first part of his given name instead of the kanji, as if Ryousuke didn't know who the messages were from by the phone number anyway. Of course he'd never mention _that_ to his lover because he sure as hell didn't want him to blow up at being thought of as cute. He made that mistake once or twice before and Takumi definitely demonstrated that he wasn't going to allow it. At all. But he was adorable in these moments, so Ryousuke kept the thought of that to himself because he didn't want to stop his lover from signing his texts that way. Although the make-up sex after Takumi got pissed was always great, he was smart enough now to avoid intentionally setting his lover off just for kicks.

He typed a reply: "You know I do." Send.

A couple of minutes passed.

Beep. "When do you want? ~Taku."

He raked his free hand through his hair and glanced at the clock.

"How about now?" Send.

He just wanted to see him. So what if it was 1:00 AM? Takumi obviously wasn't asleep either, so maybe they could meet at the 24 hour Family's near Shibukawa. He didn't care if it was for five minutes, he just wanted to see that beautiful face and feel the ease and comfort of their relationship right fucking now.

Beep. "Gotta pick up S.O.M. from the bar and make the delivery in a few hours. ~Taku"

Ryousuke chuckled; so that's why he was awake. "S.O.M." was his lover's way of abbreviating for the "Shitty Old Man". So damn cute. Maybe he could try to take more than just five minutes with him after all, maybe breakfast? When was the last time he ate anyway? He couldn't remember, so he figured he probably should.

"Meet me at the Family's in S-town for coffee/b'fast before delivery then?" Send.

Beep. "You sure you want to drive out here now? It's late. Can give you specs tomorrow if that's better. ~Taku"

"Not better. Specs of secondary importance. I want to see my Lover. On my way." Send.

Beep. "Bossy. See you there after I drop S.O.M. at home.~Taku"

Ryousuke laughed lightly. God, the power his lover posessed: who else could do that? For the longest time, only Tsugumi could wave such a powerful magic wand to erase his troubles, even if temporarily; that simulation seemed like a distant memory now that he had become involved with Takumi. So, he chose to stop feeling fucking pathetic and sorry for himself in his bed and got up to go out and see his lover. Especially now that it looked as though the timeline had been chopped by almost fifty days, he wanted to see him as much as humanly possible.

He felt his head start to throb again. Hadn't he done enough for his Father already? He was going to be a fucking doctor just like he was supposed to be. He was retired from racing just like he was supposed to be. He was planning on going abroad like he was supposed to do. He was planning on ending…

No.

He was not going to think about that anymore tonight as it would serve no purpose. He was going to take an Aspirin, and drive to Shibukawa now to see the one person he knew could wave that magic wand for him for just a little bit longer.

His "~Taku".


	42. Chapter 42

Takahashi Residence, Thursday, 10:00 AM

Ryousuke awakened from a fitful nap after his impromptu breakfast date with Takumi, which turned out to be just what he needed: a small slice of bliss among the inner tumult that was gnawing at him. The visit was totally platonic, and wasn't lengthy because Takumi had tofu to deliver, but it was worth the drive anyway for the reprieve from his frustration and anger toward his Father. God, he was not in the best of moods this morning, despite having had a cozy breakfast with his lover; the anger had merely been put aside and not forgotten, so he was sure that he was in for an extremely shitty day.

He only had one lab this afternoon, and he got an email stating that his lectures were cancelled tomorrow so that the Professors could attend a department conference, so he decided to take care of the inevitable this morning and try to contact the patriarch to discuss his latest and greatest dick-move. He would have all of Friday to figure out how he was going to tell Takumi. Part of him wanted to leave it unsaid until maybe the day he was to leave, thinking that it would be better to just rip the proverbial Band-Aid so his lover wouldn't be thinking about it during the last few weeks they had together. However, he realized that a plan like that favored his own desire to protect his lover from the truth, so he knew he had to tell Takumi as soon as he knew the outcome of his conversation with Dear Old Dad. If there was one thing he had learned the hard way about his lover, it was that Takumi hated it when he perceived that Ryousuke was trying to protect or to shield him in any way from anything, even if it was something unpleasant.

But if he told him last minute, maybe his lover's anger would make it easier for him to let go.

No. Ryousuke couldn't do that. He didn't want the last memory of their relationship to be an angry one. Unacceptable.

He still wanted, no, he _needed_ Takumi to be a part of his life in the future in whatever way possible. He decided he would not hide this truth from his lover in order to preserve what he hoped would evolve into that happy future as close friends.

He just had to figure out how best to go about trying to persuade his Father that the original plan was the better plan. If he could do that, then he needn't worry about giving Takumi notice of the issue anyway, and they could just go along until December as was originally intended.

Maybe he could lay his points of contention out for his Mother first to see what her reaction would be, a sort of "practice run", before taking them to his Father? Maybe, maybe not. It would depend on her condition this morning, if she even got out of bed today at all. It was Thursday, and Friday was her usual "leave the bedroom for more than an hour" day.

All the frustration and fury came back to him with the glaring light of day, and he was not having any luck trying to understand why his Father went behind his back to rearrange all the plans. It made him feel sour, sick, and headed for a migraine unless he got some caffeine into him stat. What he came up with so far was that it was just one more unreasonable demand that he was supposed to meet, and it pissed him off to no end. He really needed to have some coffee before speaking to the man, and a lot of it too, lest he accidentally display his current attitude and get chastised like a child as a special bonus.

He rose, choosing to remain clothed in his sleeping pants and t-shirt to head down to the kitchen to grind more coffee beans for his desk-drawer canister, which seemed to be getting empty a lot more quickly these days. Even that pissed him off this morning, and he didn't care that there was no logic in getting pissed toward inanimate objects such as the missing coffee from his canister. There had better be a fresh bag in the pantry, too, if the pantry knew what was good for it.

As he entered the kitchen, he was thinking so many furious thoughts about the conversation he was preparing to have with his Father that he nearly bumped into Keisuke, who was on his way to the breakfast table with an obscene amount of food piled on a single small plate.

"Hey! I'm walking here, Aniki!" Keisuke managed to say before quickly moving aside to avoid the kitchen collision.

"Sorry."

Keisuke looked at his brother who was toting his empty "desk coffee canister". 'Uh-oh. He's moody and out of coffee. Maybe I should move to the dining room,' he thought wryly as he watched his brother fling open the pantry door to retrieve a new unopened bag of whole bean coffee. He roughly slammed it down on the counter as he opened the cabinet where the grinder was stored so he could take it out to use it. Keisuke decided he might spill some of his food if he tried to balance everything all the way to the dining room, though, so he quietly sat down at the breakfast table in the kitchen.

The younger sibling ate and watched silently as Ryousuke opened a drawer and slammed it shut again without taking anything out of it, only immediately to turn and open the dishwasher. He removed what Keisuke supposed was the "correct spoon" to use for measuring beans into the grinder, even though they had about a million spoons and shit in the drawer he had just opened. Apparently, someone had made the egregious error of not flipping on the dishwasher as well, because he mumbled an ugly sounding curse as he washed the spoon in the sink before drying it and going back to the innocent bag of beans on the counter. He couldn't get it open.

"Uh..you okay today, Aniki?" Keisuke ventured to ask between alternating bites of a cheese danish and an onigiri.

Ryousuke ignored him as he prepared for round two with the bag, ostensibly to try a different bag-opening tactic.

"Your OCD is acting up hardcore over there."

"I'm fine," Ryousuke responded flatly as he appeared to struggle further with the bag of beans, unable to get it opened by the little twist ties holding it closed. It was one of those vacuum bags where ties held a fold that had to be unfolded before one could pull apart the bag to break the seal inside. He pulled on the twist tie again and only succeeded in breaking it off, the bag of beans remaining stubbornly sealed as if in payback for being slammed so roughly on the counter before. "Fuck," he cursed, _again_ , more audibly this time.

Keisuke continued to munch on his food and drink his orange juice, resisting the urge to whistle in approval for his brother's colorful language because it probably wouldn't end well for him if he did. He skipped coffee himself, because he was too lazy to grind the beans and Ryousuke always complained that he didn't do it right when he did do it. He was definitely relieved now that he didn't attempt it this morning given what a nasty humor his brother appeared to be in today.

The moody brother of source went to another cabinet and brought down an empty air-tight canister big enough to hold the contents of the bag, less the amount he was going to grind. He then went to the butcher block and selected the biggest chef's knife they had.

"Hey, should you be handling such sharp objects _before_ you have coffee?" Keisuke asked with a nervous laugh as Ryousuke viciously stabbed the bag of beans and sliced off the top before tossing the knife into the sink where it fell with a noisy clatter.

"Don't try my patience today, please. I'm not in the mood."

"Obviously."

Ryousuke ignored the reply, poured the beans into the canister, and used Correct Spoon to measure some of them into the grinder. Why his brother had to put the beans in the empty canister _before_ using Correct Spoon, instead of just measuring out the beans directly from the bag, was another OCD mystery that Keisuke was sure he could never solve. The elder plugged in the device and pressed the button, expecting to hear the rather loud sound of the sharp internal blades pulverizing the beans for his beverage.

Silence.

"What the _fuck_?!" Ryousuke swore again, unplugging the grinder and plugging it in again, only to be met with the same result when he pressed the grind button.

"Reset the outlet, Aniki," Keisuke offered with his mouth half full before taking a swallow.

"What?!" his brother snapped, gracing him with the patented Frown of Disapproval.

"The plug tripped, _Dumbass_. You have to reset it; it's one of those kinds you have to have near water now. Don't you remember when we had the electrical updated a few months ago when Mom decided we needed restaurant grade appliances?"

"Oh," Ryousuke said plainly, his expression now one of annoyance with himself for not remembering about the new-ish outlets. "Sorry. I'm being an asshole this morning," he added softly, pressing the reset button on the outlet on the other side of the sink before trying a third time to grind his precious beans.

Success.

The irritatingly noisy grinder was in business now and Ryousuke was staring at it with a death glare, impatiently waiting for just the right moment to switch it off.

When he did, he poured the ground beans into his "desk canister" and then grabbed Correct Spoon again to measure out more beans, ostensibly because he did somehow notice that no one, read: Keisuke, had bothered to make coffee in the main pot earlier.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"About what," the elder responded blandly.

"About whatever caused you to go all Jack the Ripper on a bag of coffee," the younger quipped.

A little sigh escaped his brother. "Not really."

"Why not?" Keisuke pressed, knowing he had to tread carefully; he thought his brother might be calming himself down a little as he filled the decanter from the water cooler to pour it into the coffee maker, but it was still a little too soon to tell for sure.

Ryousuke didn't reply, but he did successfully add the ground coffee into the coffee maker without incident or more swearing. He flipped it on and the little gurgling sounds it made seemed to calm him a bit further, perhaps in anticipation of the glory of the caffeine which would soon be circulating throughout his veins. Keisuke may have been into the hard stuff back in the day, but he knew his brother was definitely a caffeine addict, and it usually wasn't wise to annoy him before he tasted his first sips.

"It's nothing I can't handle," came the reply at length.

"Do I need to take a certain someone out for a drink tonight because you pissed him off again?" Keisuke ventured to ask. 'God, they must really like make-up sex,' Keisuke thought with an inner shudder. He was sure he didn't get it. What the hell made their relationship _work_ exactly? Was his brother really some kind of masochist in addition to being bi? Was Fujiwara really "in charge" of the whole thing? No. He was not going to think about that.

His musings were interrupted by a soft chuckle and half-smirk coming from a brother who now held a mug with both hands encircling it. He had finally tasted his first sip of the day, having poured it as soon as one cupful made it into the decanter, not patient enough to wait for the whole pot to brew before getting the strong black liquid into his mug. "No, everything's fine there. I haven't screwed up lately."

"Wow. Is this a new record?" the younger playfully queried, sensing that the caffeine was quickly doing the job with his brother. His mood had lightened some, but it was obvious that Ryousuke was very preoccupied with something unpleasant this morning. At least it appeared that he was done taking his anger out on innocent things like kitchen implements and his younger brother.

"Very funny, Keisuke…And, yeah, it could be," he added with another soft laugh, signaling that he was a bit more open to conversation than he had been moments ago.

"So, are you ready to talk about why you brought holy hell down on the kitchen this morning? Don't start keeping things from me again. If you need to vent, then vent. I'm here."

Ryousuke took another soothing sip of coffee. "Are you sure?" he asked quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't think I should be burdening you with all you've got going on."

"Right now all I've got going on is eating breakfast and making sure you don't touch any more knives until you finish what's in that mug. Go ahead and burden me."

His brother, having apparently agreed with Keisuke's statement, promptly finished his first cup and poured a second with a little half-smirk. "I have to talk to our Father today and I don't want to do it."

"Oh yeah? Who actually _wants_ to talk to that guy anyway?" the younger sibling replied with a snort. "What's going on? Did he tell you that, in addition to moving overseas, that you have to come back with a Nobel Prize or something?"

"Unless I can get him to change his mind today, I'll be gone by the end of the month."

Keisuke stopped mid-bite on a slice of melon and the fruit fell out of his mouth and onto the table. " _What?!"_

"I got an email from the school and I found out that he told them I was going to arrive earlier than originally planned."

Keisuke was up out of his seat in a flash, an angry and concerned look on his face. " _What?!"_ he repeated. "Why the fuck would he do that?!"

Ryousuke sighed. "I guess it's his way of letting me know he's finally done."

"That's _bullshit!_ "

"Pretty much," the elder calmly agreed.

Keisuke did an about face and indelicately sat back down on his breakfast chair with an air of heavy consternation. "No wonder you were pissed," he said softly.

"Yeah. I'm furious."

After a few seconds, Keisuke successfully subdued his own anger somewhat and dared to ask the inevitable question. "Have you told Fujiwara yet?"

"No. I haven't."

"Aniki, you need to tell him. He won't forgive you if you don't. I'm serious about that because I know him pretty damn well now, and he's as stubborn as fuck about shit like that."

"I know."

"So why aren't you on the phone telling him right this second?!" the younger sibling demanded to know.

"I'll talk to him after I meet with our Father. I'm going to try and convince him that December is soon enough."

Keisuke scowled. "You already know that's not going to work. Don't bullshit me."

"If the chance is not zero, I have to try, if only for my own sanity," the elder explained.

The younger brother rose again to retrieve a coffee mug for himself. He filled it with coffee before going to the refrigerator for milk. He poured some milk as the other moved to sit in another chair at the breakfast table. As he dumped a ton of sugar into the coffee and stirred, the only thought on his mind was that their Father had just achieved a huge Level Up in the asshole game he was constantly playing with his brother. Even Ryousuke seemed to understand that there was very little likelihood of getting out of this, no matter how persuasive he could be.

"What are you going to do?" he asked as he resumed his former seat.

Ryousuke shrugged. "Start packing, I guess."

"Tch."

Then Keisuke remembered something else very important. "Aniki, Fujiwara doesn't go for his signing until next month! Unless you do something, you won't even be here for it!"

"Yeah. It's bad this time."

That was all that really needed to be said. "It" was obviously a reference to all the stupid shit their Father made Ryousuke do over the years, but, this time, it was clearly devastating, maybe even more so than giving up racing to become a stupid doctor had been in the first place. Oh, Keisuke could tell that his brother was still absolutely beside himself with anger, despite the fact that he had stopped his earlier slamming about the kitchen and was now behaving in his normal collected manner. It was all over his eyes and displayed in the thin straight line of his pursed lips. He was holding it back well now that he'd had his coffee, but Keisuke wished his brother had skipped his beverage after all so that he could unleash that furious energy for once upon the person who actually deserved it. "When?"

"According to my new travel reservations, I'll be leaving a few days before the first of November."

"Shit."

"Yeah. I'm sorry, Keisuke."

The younger brother knitted his brows together. "What the hell are you apologizing to me for? I know this isn't your fault."

"I'm sorry I have to leave you sooner as well."

"I am too, but, not because it's your fault. That Asshole doesn't have the right to keep controlling your life and doing this shit to you."

"He's our Father. He does have the right," Ryousuke affirmed softly.

"He treats you like property."

Ryousuke didn't respond to that.

"He may have treated me like shit my whole life, but what he does with you is worse."

"I don't agree with that statement. I understand the role an eldest son must play and he never harmed me physically. End of discussion."

Keisuke knew he needed to drop that conversational line. If there was one thing he knew for which Ryousuke would never forgive their Father, it was for the man's treatment of him as the second unwanted son. It never stopped him from doing the asshole's bidding, but Keisuke knew without Ryousuke having actually to say the words that it had been a very long time since his brother had actually possessed any love for the man at all. Their relationship was pretty much based on the family business, money, and duty now, no matter that Ryousuke did everything in his power to please him anyway. Familial duty was just ingrained within his brother as a habit, Keisuke decided, just like going along obediently with their Father's ridiculous demands always was.

The two were finishing their coffee in silence when the soft click of the door to the master bedroom signified that the other parental unit was about to emerge. "Great," Keisuke whispered, realizing that there would likely be no time for him to jet before their mother entered the kitchen. But, with Ryousuke leaving, he still needed to deal with her, so he figured he should stick around anyway to see if Ryousuke could give him a few pointers on that before he left.

As if on autopilot, his brother immediately rose and started to fill the teapot with water to prepare tea for their mother. Keisuke just shook his head. 'They sure have you trained,' he thought angrily to himself before thinking better of putting on a show of it for their other parent.

"Good Morning, Onii-san," their mother softly said as she entered the kitchen. She was actually sort of dressed and sort of made up today and looked a little less haggard than he had remembered her looking when he had run into her in the middle of the night a little over a month ago. She wasn't dressed to "go out", but she was wearing a floral dress that was very simple in design which likely belied how expensive it probably was. Glancing toward her younger son at the table, she added, "Good Morning to you too, Keisuke," she added, trying to force a small smile.

"Good Morning, Mother," Ryousuke replied with a genuine smile on his face that made Keisuke want to throw something at him. He was probably reacting to the fact that their mother was dressed and looked to be somewhat more rooted in reality today. Maybe the high-priced shrink she saw every week was trying a new medication on her. Who knew?

Despite everything, it was painfully obvious that Ryousuke still did love their Mother dearly. Keisuke was of the opinion that she was just as, though differently, bad as their Father. "How are you feeling today?" Aniki inquired.

"I'm…well today. Thank you for asking, Onii-san," their Mother answered tentatively, as if she wasn't all that confident in her response.

"I'm glad to hear that. Shall I bring your tea to the dining room?"

Their Mother considered for a few seconds before shaking her head in the negative. "I can have it here. It's…rare to see both of you together like this," she remarked, looking at her younger son again.

"We all live here," Keisuke heard himself grumble on his own autopilot of sorts, which earned him a slight frown from his brother and a slight change in their Mother's expression that told Keisuke she wasn't amused by the statement.

She was apparently going to give him a pass on it though, because she changed her expression slightly again. "Onii-san tells me that you have an important day coming up soon," she said as her eldest son moved to pull out a chair for her to sit at the table next to his sibling.

"Yeah."

Mother frowned again.

"I mean, 'yes', Mom, I do," Keisuke replied, revising his response to be a shade more polite. He figured that if the strange lady called Mom was trying to make an effort, he may as well try too if only for his brother's benefit if not for hers.

She nodded then as the whistling of the kettle brought her eldest away from the table to prepare her tea. "I'm…happy for you, Otouto. I only wish you hadn't chosen to do something so dangerous as a career."

Keisuke chuckled a little. Obviously she was forgetting that it was her Precious Onii-san who had gotten him into racing in the first place. "Don't worry. It's legal," he replied a little more curtly than he had intended. Oh well.

By this time, Ryousuke had brought their Mother's tea to her, thankfully preventing any response to Keisuke's words. "Would you care for some breakfast?"

Keisuke wanted to puke. Seriously? Was he going to have to act like that when Ryousuke was gone? Waiting on this lady hand and foot and actually caring? Maybe he could just hire a live-in maid again for her so he wouldn't have to worry about it. As long as household employees didn't touch his room, he didn't care if they lived-in or lived-out anyway.

"No, thank you."

"Now, Mother, you need to eat something with your medications. Please, allow me to prepare something for you."

Keisuke stifled another chuckle. That should be interesting to see, because, although his brother was pretty much awesomeness in almost everything he did, he was downright awful at cooking. Nothing he ever attempted to make was actually fit to eat and it usually just ended up getting tossed in the trash in favor of calling for take-out. Even their Mother knew he was hopeless in that area, but she liked to use that to remind him that he needed a wife. In her own way, Mother pressured Ryousuke almost as much as their Father did and that pissed Keisuke off too.

"Oh, don't trouble yourself, Onii-san."

Ryousuke emitted a single little laugh. "I know, I know, I'm not saying I'll cook anything. How about some fruit and pastry?"

"All right," their Mother relented. God it must be nice for her that she had at least one kid who could pick up on her subtlety; it was her politely expressed desire not to eat anything her son actually attempted to cook. Keisuke took note of it. At least he could make rice in the rice cooker without burning the bottom of it because not enough water was added. It was burned so badly the last time Ryousuke attempted to use it that Keisuke had to run out and buy another one to replace it and ban his brother from ever touching it again. He hoped his mother liked rice a lot, because he wasn't too great at cooking much else either, but at least what he could make was mostly edible. He also had the fleeting thought to wonder how in the hell Ryousuke was planning on feeding himself when he was living alone in the States, but he figured they probably had plenty of take out places there too. He himself enjoyed fast-food occasionally, but he knew Ryousuke didn't care for it much at all. It was odd to think of his brother trying to live in a place where pizza and cheeseburgers were king when he couldn't really cook to save his own life to eat anything else. He'd be spending a lot on take out there for sure.

Ryousuke went to the refrigerator to get out the fruit and busied himself preparing a plate of breakfast for their Mother.

"So, Mom," Keisuke ventured to fill the silence, "Do you, uh, have any plans today?" Small talk. He could try to handle that.

"My, Keisuke, how pleasant of you to ask," came the reply. Keisuke noted that she didn't actually answer his question, though. 'Passive aggressive much?' he thought. Oh well. He had to get used to it.

He shrugged. "Just making conversation."

"As a matter of fact, I am leaving this afternoon for a women's retreat with some of the wives of the Board."

"That's nice," Keisuke lied. A bunch of middle-aged rich-bitches gossiping all weekend over wine trying to one-up each other over the successes of their children, no doubt that's what the weekend was all about.

"How lovely," Ryousuke supplied as he carefully sliced melon into perfectly OCD sized bits. Damn. He was so good at acting polite and casual when Keisuke knew how furious he still was on the inside. "Shall I call the car service for you? Will you be going to the airport?"

"Oh, no, Dear, that won't be necessary. One of the ladies' cars will arrive to collect me this afternoon. It's not a far trip."

Taking a cue from his brother's silence, Keisuke ventured to contribute again. "Where are you headed?" he asked, trying to keep his voice casual.

"We are going to the onsen at Ikaho for the weekend."

Keisuke immediately glanced over toward his brother in time to see a slight pause in his cutting of the fruit. That onsen in Ikaho was really close to where Fujiwara lived. _Really_ close. Close enough so that they might pass by him on the road somewhere if he was out and about in town. Thank goodness their Mother never really paid attention to anything racing related, especially the illegal racing they did on the mountains. It wasn't likely that she'd recognize Fujiwara or his car from any other person who lived there. But that particular onsen wasn't the typical 5-Star place the rich-bitches usually went either; it was definitely more rustic than he thought his mother would prefer.

"Why there?" Keisuke asked carefully so his brother wouldn't have to.

"Oh, well," Mother began, apparently not expecting her younger son to be the one to engage in the conversation, "the Ishikawa family has recently invested in the property, and they have been making some improvements to attract more business and a more upscale clientele."

"That sounds pleasant," Ryousuke added, setting the plate of fruit and pastry before their mother before picking up his coffee mug for a warm-up.

"I am very glad you think so, Onii-san."

"Oh?" the elder asked as he took his seat once again. "Why is that, Mother?"

"You do remember the Ishikawa family, don't you?"

"Of course I do. They handle the interior design of our hospitals and clinics. They do it very tastefully as well."

Keisuke wanted to get up and find Correct Spoon and gag himself with it. This type of polite chit-chat totally sucked, and he totally sucked at it too. Damn their Father for taking Ryousuke so far away! He might not be afraid of the professional drivers he would soon be facing, but idle banter with either one of his parents scared Keisuke half to death.

"Yes, they certainly do," Mother commented, sipping on her tea, which, apparently, Ryousuke made perfectly. He _was_ good at making drinks if not food. He was even damn good at making cocktails despite not being a big drinker himself, Keisuke thought, though Keisuke didn't care for fancy cocktails as a general rule, preferring beer or liquor in straight up shots.

"Will it be for the entire weekend?" Ryousuke asked casually, but Keisuke was onto him. He was probably figuring that he better steer well clear of Ikaho and Shibukawa this weekend. Even if their mother wouldn't recognize the hachi-roku, she'd definitely recognize the FC.

"Until Sunday afternoon, which, incidentally, I need to talk to you about, Onii-san."

Keisuke checked out mentally from the conversation for a minute and thought he should probably text Fujiwara later to tell him to make sure that they took the hachi-roku if they went anywhere near his neighborhood this weekend so the FC wouldn't be seen driving around. God. Had he really become that used to their "thing" that he was actually encouraging ways to make things easier and better for them? He supposed that he had. Besides, whatever it was that they did together put a big smile on his brother's face, and not a fake one either. Keisuke still didn't really want to know any details about what _exactly_ they did together; it wasn't like he didn't _know_ how the guy-guy stuff worked, but having that knowledge tended to make things worse when he thought about his brother and his friend actually sleeping together.

Maybe they just cuddled all sappy-like and napped together in the same bed like in those cheesy BL movies his ex dragged him to once or twice. Yeah. Sure. That thought was even more unrealistic than him sometimes wondering who exactly might be on top. At first, Keisuke thought it would definitely have to be Ryousuke. But, as he got to know Takumi better, there were times when he actually thought the younger was the one calling the shots in the relationship, and maybe in bed too. However they did whatever they did, his brother sure seemed to like it. At least he was getting laid regularly. He himself hadn't gotten there with Kyouko yet, not that he didn't want to, but he wanted her to take the lead on that since he didn't want to do anything too forward and potentially lose her all over again. It wasn't great for his non-existent sex life, but he knew it was the right thing to do.

"Otouto, you're not paying attention." Keisuke abandoned the thoughts and came back to the here and now because the maternal unit was talking to him.

"Eh? Sorry, uh, what's the big deal about Sunday afternoon?"

His Mother frowned a little, but recovered a more neutral expression. "I was telling Onii-san that you both need to be home on Sunday for a luncheon. We are hosting the Ishikawa family that afternoon."

Keisuke looked at his brother and he could see it in his eyes that he knew that whatever was coming he wasn't about to like.

"We haven't hosted at home in quite some time, Mother. Are you sure you are up for entertaining?" Ryousuke gently asked, carefully keeping his tone neutral. Keisuke could see that he was tapping his index finger deliberately on the side of his coffee mug, however, and that could very well be his brother's version of taking a minute to count to ten to prevent exploding.

"Of course. This is a very important luncheon, especially for you Onii-san."

Uh-oh. Seriously? Were both of his parents tag-teaming on his brother this week? Keisuke had the sinking feeling that he knew what was coming now too.

"Oh, how so?" the elder asked sweetly, obviously feigning ignorance. This time, Keisuke knew enough to know that his brother's being nice right now was totally fake.

"I have it on very good authority that Ishikawa's daughter Midori-san has recently become eligible again."

Keisuke wanted to slap this bitch. How in the hell was he supposed to deal with her by himself without Ryousuke if this is the kind of shit she liked to pull? Bad enough that they were shipping him off to America, but already lining up a housewife for him for when he got back? That was just going beyond outrageous. He looked to his brother's face, but he had his mask of control firmly in place. He was tapping the mug just a little bit faster with his finger, however.

"Oh? I thought she had been engaged to Kuwamura Shou-san for quite some time already," his brother remarked passively. God, how could he be so smooth about this when Keisuke knew how even more furious he must be getting by now? He sure wasn't smooth about stabbing the life out of the coffee bag earlier. Keisuke supposed he wouldn't allow himself to act like that in front of either of their parents, though.

"Ah, yes, Dear, you are correct. I regret to say, however, that there was a falling out among their families, so that arrangement has been cancelled."

"I see."

"Aniki, don't we have plans this weekend?" Keisuke commented, trying to get his brother out of this.

"Cancel them." That was their Mother's reply, her voice sounding more stern than Keisuke had heard from her in a long time.

"Mother, I do appreciate your consideration," Ryousuke hastily added, "however, I do not think that this is the correct time to begin any such arrangement for me since I will be gone overseas for the next year or so."

"No, Onii-san, this is the perfect time."

Ryousuke's mask slipped a little and his lips curled into a slight frown. "Why do you believe that?"

"Because you are getting to an age where most of your peers and even some of the younger girls are starting to become unavailable. You are running out of options, Dear, so we need to secure your bride now, even if a wedding has to be delayed in consideration of your studies. At least Midori-san's Father is a trusted longtime Board member and executive in his own right of their design firm. Miss Midori is also quite talented in that regard as well, I am told. She will create a beautiful home for you I am sure."

Ryousuke said nothing, but now two of his fingers were tapping away on the side of his coffee mug. Seriously. Can't the 'rents just give his brother a break to catch his breath for once?

"Tch," Keisuke supplied. "Don't you get it, Mom? He doesn't want to think about getting married right now. Leave him alone about it."

His Mother turned to him with a frown. "Please watch your tone with me, Otouto. You are also required to be present at this luncheon. For that, you must also…alter your appearance," she said curtly, nodding to his hair.

Keisuke frowned right back. "I won't do that. I'm not changing who I am just to impress some family I don't even know. Besides, they're not interested in me, so I shouldn't even have to be there."

His Mother sighed. "Very well. I'll allow the rebellion of your appearance in order to ensure your presence. But we will be apologizing to them for it and you'd do best to sit quietly and accept that. You _will_ be there. Do not think about humiliating us this time, Keisuke. It is very important for Onii-san to have these meetings."

"Tch. Aniki…"

"It's fine, Keisuke. I'd be happy to meet Ishikawa-san, but, Mother, I cannot agree to anything more than a meeting at this time. I am still very busy with my academics."

'And your boyfriend', Keisuke wanted to add. If ever there was a great opening to drop the bomb on their mother this was it. Of course, he knew his brother wouldn't do it. If it was him, he definitely would just to see the look on the woman's face before she fainted dead away. It would have been a lot easier for his brother if he was the straight one.

"I understand that, Onii-san, but Otou-san also agrees now that this is for the best. We discussed this last week whilst we were travelling."

'Fuck,' Keisuke cursed inwardly. She went and played the Dad card. Manipulative bitch.

"I see," Ryousuke said quietly. "I understand that this _is_ to be an omiai after all."

His tone was neutral, but Keisuke could definitely hear the edge of irritation behind it even if their mother clearly did not.

"Yes, Onii-san, it is."

"Very well. Then I will make sure Ishikawa-san has a pleasant evening in my company after lunch."

What?! That was it. Keisuke could take no more of this bullshit.

"Aniki!" he snapped, raising his voice a little.

Ryousuke only smiled his sweetest fake-smile ever. 'Oh yeah, he is definitely beyond furious now,' thought Keisuke. Even if their mother bought the act, the younger sibling sure as hell didn't.

"If it pleases our parents, this omiai is a small price to pay, Keisuke."

Their Mother beamed. "Wonderful, Onii-san. I'm so glad. Will you go to the study? Midori-san's rirekisho should be there on your Father's desk. Please bring it here."

Ryousuke nodded and stepped out. Unbelievable. How long had that stupid marriage portfolio been sitting there? Keisuke was about to bolt and follow his brother when he felt a small but firm hand cover his wrist. "No, Keisuke. He has to do this."

"Hasn't he done enough for you two yet?" Keisuke whispered harshly, not caring about his "tone" or whatever.

Their mother appeared to consider his question carefully, and, for once, it did not appear that she was going to admonish him for his attitude. "We wouldn't do this if he had selected a woman for himself. He hasn't, so we must. That is all there is to it."

Keisuke didn't respond because he heard his brother coming back. When the elder re-entered the kitchen, he handed the portfolio to his Mother. "Is this the one?" he asked quietly.

"Oh, Dear, you didn't look?" Mother cooed softly, her smile returning as she took the leather-bound folder into her hands while her son returned to his seat. "You met her several times when you were children before she attended school in Paris; do you remember? I know we always had you focused on learning English, but, you may wish to brush up a little on your French. She's lovely, see?" she added, opening the folder and placing it on the table in front of his brother. Keisuke could see a slight twitch in one of his brother's eyebrows. 'Sorry, Mom,' Keisuke thought. 'She could be a fucking French supermodel for all he's gonna care.'

"Yes, she is…lovely, and I remember her," Ryousuke agreed dismissively as he closed the folder as quickly as possible without being too impolite. Keisuke thought he was going to puke. Did his brother have to fucking get out those ancient French language tapes from the basement too, just so his parents could say he spoke French as well? He remembered Ryousuke telling him that French was even more of a pain in the ass than English, and he'd barely spent two summers in middle school learning French as opposed to the years of weekly tutoring he had in English. He saw his brother take a breath, ostensibly to calm himself. Their mother didn't catch it. "What time will they arrive on Sunday?" his brother asked with a neutral tone, "I do have the early shift on Monday at the hospital."

"One o'clock."

Ryousuke sighed. "Very well. If you'll excuse me now, Mother, I have a practical this afternoon and I have to get ready for it."

Keisuke could see that his brother had reached his limit and was trying desperately to extricate himself from the kitchen. Was this chick hideous or something? Was that the final straw to break the camel's back? Keisuke had to admit he was a little curious, but Ryousuke had shut the portfolio so fast he didn't even get an upside-down glimpse of the pictures that were in it.

"Of course, Onii-san. I won't keep you further. Take this with you, and look it over please."

With that, Ryousuke excused himself, warmed up his coffee and took his desk-canister off the counter. He headed toward the back stairs with the rirekisho tucked under his arm.

"I've gotta go too, Mom. I have to make a phone call." That was probably the weakest excuse he'd ever come up with, but he needed to get out of there, if only to check on his brother to make sure he wasn't going to drive over a cliff or something later.

"Very well. I'll see _both_ of you boys on Sunday," she confirmed, standing as well and preparing to go back to her bedroom, likely for a nap before telling her housewife-friend that she had the lock on things. Nice.

Keisuke bolted from his chair because Ryousuke had a head start on him to go upstairs. He took the back steps two at a time and barged into his brother's room in time to see the elder throw the portfolio across the room in frustration where it hit the wall and some of the contents spilled out over the carpet. He was shaking as he stood in the middle of his room.

"Aniki…"

"I knew this was coming. She's been hinting for a while. It's fine."

"Don't lie. This is not fucking ' _fine'_ and you fucking know it. Skip your lab today, and let's get out of town for the day. I'll drive wherever you want to go."

"I can't do that."

"Yeah, you can. You _should_. Call the professor and tell him you're sick."

Ryousuke said nothing, and he didn't move, so Keisuke crossed the room and went to pick up the scattered pieces of the rirekisho. "She's actually really pretty," he offered quietly, after picking up one of the pictures and looking at it.

"Yes."

"Nice body. I wonder how you say that in French," Keisuke added, picking up another picture that was a full length shot of the pretty girl leaning against the railing of a yacht wearing a cute little sundress.

"Keisuke."

"What? At least they aren't trying to hook you up with some kind of troll."

Ryousuke finally moved from where he was standing to sit in his desk chair. He put his hands to his head and pulled at his temples. He said nothing.

"You're bi anyway, right? You should be fine if she looks this good."

"That's not the issue."

"I know that. I know the issue is this _bullshit_ that they both dropped on you all of a sudden like this. I know that!"

"I'll never love that girl, Keisuke. I may have to marry her, but I will never love her. Do you understand?"

Keisuke knitted his brows together. He wasn't sure he understood fully; he got the basics, but there was always some underlying meaning behind his brother's words. "Okay," he began, "Then maybe not this girl, but maybe you can pick another one. _Not_ Tsugumi, but, didn't you say you could have loved her eventually over time? Maybe one of these girls will be like that."

Ryousuke said nothing, but reached for his cellphone.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling our Father."

Keisuke plopped down on the bed. His brother didn't ask him to leave, and he wasn't about to as it looked like someone picked up the line.

"Yes, Inoue-san, this is Ryousuke."

Keisuke shamelessly eavesdropped on the one side of the conversation he could hear. So far his brother hadn't shooed him out, so he figured it was okay.

"I'm very well, thank you for asking. I was hoping that I might speak with my Father…yes, I'll hold."

So we are on secretary Number Three. His brother held the line and reached for his eyedrops.

"I see. Could you transfer me then, please?…Thank you very much."

Okay, so Dear Old Dad wasn't at his main office. He must be at one of the clinics. Why their Father wouldn't let Ryousuke call him on his cell phone always pissed Keisuke off. The man certainly had no qualms about calling his brother on _his_ phone. He only could think that this was another one of his little control games he liked to play to put his children in their appropriate places.

"Hello, this is Ryousuke. I'd like to speak to my Father please and I was informed that he might be there."

This was secretary Number Two.

"Understood. When will he return?"

Maybe he won't make it to secretary Number One today.

"No, I'd prefer not to leave a message. I will call back instead."

Ryousuke hung up and dropped his phone on the desk with a sigh. "He's out."

"Duh," came the response from the bed.

Ryousuke sat for a few more seconds, as if debating something.

"Fuck it. I'm going to call Tanaka," he announced.

Keisuke sat up. "Who's Tanaka? I thought his personal secretary was someone named Minamoto."

Ryousuke groaned. "Yeah, that was a few 'flavors of the month' ago. I guess I don't need to keep that from you anymore."

"Really?" Keisuke asked incredulously. Was he seriously the only Takahashi man not getting any? Even the old man had a Flavor of the Month club?

"Yeah. This one's a total bitch to me too," he added. Keisuke was certainly impressed with his brother's language this morning. He definitely tended toward potty-mouth when he was angry. And, because it was _him,_ the words had a lot more bite than they did when Keisuke would string them together himself.

"Why?"

"Who the hell knows. I just hate talking to her because she knows that if I'm talking to her, it's because our Father doesn't want to take my calls. She loves to throw it in my face too."

"Damn. I had no idea."

"Yeah, she's a bitch," Ryousuke repeated, picking up his phone and scrolling through his many contacts. "But, because I recently made her aware that I know what she's doing, I have a certain amount of control over her anyway, and she knows she can't fuck with me too much."

"You're scary, Aniki."

Ryousuke turned a little in his chair with his half smirk. "Want me to put it on speaker?"

Keisuke grinned. "Yeah, I'd love to hear this."

Ryousuke lowered the phone from his ear and pressed the screen to activate the speaker.

"She's letting it go to voicemail. She always does that to gauge the importance of the call. She does it to see if the caller will call back right away or not."

"Man, you know her like a book."

Ryousuke shrugged. "She's not that bright." He waited for the voicemail to pick up before hanging up and immediately redialing.

Keisuke could hear the phone ringing over the speaker and it picked up on the third ring.

"This is Tanaka. To whom am I speaking?"

"Hello, Mayumi-chan, it's Ryousuke."

Keisuke was trying hard not to make any noise as he reacted with surprise toward how his brother addressed their Father's personal assistant. Ryousuke just held up a finger to his lips and smirked behind it. Keisuke supposed she'd heard this before.

"Ryousuke-san. Always a _pleasure_." The tone of voice coming through the phone made it sound like it clearly wasn't.

"I'm sure. How is my Father lately? I can't seem to get ahold of him today, so I thought that _you_ would certainly know where he could be found."

"I assure you, Ryousuke-san, your Father has been tied up with appointments and meetings all day. It's not surprising he hasn't had the chance to talk to you today as his calendar is full of very much more important things. And please address me as Tanaka. You are not permitted to call me by my given name because, last time I checked, I don't work for _you._ "

Keisuke agreed. This chick _was_ a bitch to be talking to his brother like that. Didn't she realize that someday she _would_ be working for Ryousuke too? Then again, his brother said she wasn't too bright. And, of course, Ryousuke would probably be firing her as soon as he took over anyway.

"Ah, I see. I somehow keep forgetting to address you properly since you are _barely_ eight months older than I am. We might have even been in the same class had we attended the same school, isn't that amusing to you?"

Keisuke alternated between a shocked expression and stifled snickers on the bed.

An irritated sound could be heard through the phone. "As I said, your Father has been tied up all day. Do you have a message for him? I don't have time for your games, Ryousuke-san."

"Should I be concerned about your choice of words, Mayumi-chan?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Ryousuke-san. And it's _Tanaka._ "

"You mentioned that he was tied up. You wouldn't be trying anything too risque with my Father, now would you? He _is_ older, you know…"

Keisuke almost fell off the bed.

A malicious sounding half-giggle came through the phone. "It's a sad day when the Bocchama has to stoop to these levels because you can't even get his attention enough to call you. I ought to tell your Father this instant about how disrespectful you are to me."

"Oh, so that means he's near to you now? Wonderful. Please have him call me, and I don't think you want to tell him about our conversation."

"Why shouldn't I? As I mentioned previously, I don't work for you, but you sure as hell work for him, that much I know. He has you by the balls and you know it, Bocchan."

Keisuke was shocked by the woman's words, but Ryousuke wasn't. He was smiling and waving his hand as if to tell his brother not to worry about what she was saying.

"You know, you're right," he said lightly before he got a very serious look on his face. It was the pissed off look he'd been trying to hide from their mother and it really was not pretty. "Because," he continued, his voice now matching the look on his face and sounding downright _menacing_ , "if you tell him how much I don't respect you, then I might have to phone your husband's divorce lawyer."

" _What?_!" Tanaka shot back through the phone.

" _I_ know, even if my Father _doesn't_ , that you are separated yet not fully divorced. It would not be in your favor in a divorce settlement if your husband learned of your…overtime hours. We can pay for people's silence. You can't."

Damn. Ryousuke wasn't playing, and Keisuke was totally impressed. It sort of reminded him about some of the tricks he used to use on people when he was hanging with the guys in the gang. Everyone had skeletons, and they could always be used.

"What is your message, Asshole," came the curt reply.

'Check-fucking-mate', Keisuke thought.

"That's more like it. Please have my Father phone me at his earliest convenience. If I fail to hear from him within a reasonable time, I will be calling you directly again. If you blow me off, I'll be placing that _other_ call. I hope we understand each other, _Mayumi-chan."_

With that, Ryousuke hung up on their Father's assistant and tossed his phone back on the desk and exhaled. "I need a cigarette," he commented.

"Shit, Aniki, you know that what you just did is blackmail, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"I had a couple of buddies busted for that shit…"

"But your buddies probably weren't majority shareholders of their target's employer, now were they?" he asked with a little glint in his eye as he pulled out his pack of cigarettes and walked out to the balcony. Keisuke followed his brother outside and lit his cigarette for him before he lit his own.

"You _are_ scary. Remind me never to seriously fuck with you. Ever."

Ryousuke sighed. "It's reality. Money equals power and my future requires me to use everything to my advantage whenever possible. That bitch is all talk. She likes her creature comforts too much to rock the boat to any real extent. He'll have a new one soon anyway; she's been around for a while."

"Is she really your age?"

"Yeah, she is. I've run into her a few times in person and it's always a bit unnerving when I see her."

"Wow. Guess i should give props to the old man for that. Geez…what would a girl that age see in a geezer like that?"

"Money. Power. It works in that way too."

"I guess."

They both smoked their cigarettes and Ryousuke closed his eyes for a second before opening them again. "I have to get ready or I'll be late for the lab."

"So you're not calling in sick?"

"No."

"And you're still going to go through with this omiai on Sunday?"

Ryousuke frowned. "I don't have a choice."

"It's bullshit." It was obvious that his brother was still furious about the whole thing, but he had given himself a bit of a cool off with his little blackmail stunt, so it didn't look like he was on the brink of exploding in rage anymore. Keisuke thought that if he couldn't get their Father to change their mind about leaving earlier, however, that Ryousuke might truly lose it. Plus, he still had to tell Fujiwara.

"So, how are you going to explain this to Fujiwara, that you have to go out on a date with this girl?"

"I'm sure he knows what omiai are."

"But-"

"Not to worry, Keisuke," the elder interrupted, "I'll turn her down gently. Or, maybe I'll get lucky and she'll turn me down gently so I don't get lectured about not making a good impression. I don't care either way."

Ryousuke stubbed out his cigarette. He returned to his room and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"What about your leaving? How are you going to tell him about that?"

Ryosuke spit out some toothpaste and continued brushing his teeth.

"Aniki?"

He spat again and rinsed with mouthwash. He put his toothbrush away and leaned on the sink, looking at himself in the mirror. "I don't know," he said quietly.

"He'll understand," Keisuke supplied.

"Yeah."

"He'll have to eventually anyway, right? Even if it's not this girl, it will be some other girl," he added carefully.

"Yeah," the elder repeated. "It may as well be this one. I don't care. At least if I just go with this girl and put off the actual wedding for as long as possible, I won't have to go on a million stupid dates. I fucking hate dating."

Keisuke chuckled. "Uh, newsflash, aren't you already 'dating' someone?"

Ryousuke's eyes widened a bit, realizing the slight error of what he just said.

"Relax. I get it. You only like 'dating' _him_."

"I'm going to take a shower now," he declared, coming toward the bathroom door to close it. "You can go."

"Aw, don't be like that. Maybe this chick won't be so bad. She _is_ kinda hot. You should take more than a two second look at her picture."

Ryousuke sighed, and his look grew to be more serious. "As I said before, I will never love that girl."

"That's kind of cold, Aniki. You haven't even seen her since you were kids, right?"

The elder exhaled, and he looked as though he was deciding whether or not to respond. He decided to, though, and said, "She could be the sweetest, most attractive girl in the world and I will never love her. Respect her, yes. Honor her, yes. Be faithful, yes. Love her? Never."

"How can you be so sure?" Keisuke asked honestly. "You could eventually."

"No, I couldn't." Ryousuke was silent again for a few seconds and his gaze shifted to the floor.

"Why not?" the younger whispered, though he thought he might already know the answer.

Ryousuke lifted his eyes and looked him squarely in the face with intensity Keisuke had seen him use whenever he was about to go to battle in a race, or to lead the Aces to a tough battle of their own. Then, his expression immediately turned to a combination of both fury and absolute anguish, an expression the younger had never quite seen before. "I'm not answering that."

He started to close the bathroom door, but Keisuke shot out an arm and braced it open.

"It's because you already love _him_. Isn't it…"

Ryousuke dropped the hand holding the door to his side and allowed his brother to open the door fully, though the younger didn't advance past the threshold. "I said I wasn't answering that," he whispered, studying the floor tiles as though they were the most important thing in all the world.

"But you don't deny it now, do you…" Keisuke declared.

Ryousuke shook his head in the negative. "I have the rest of my life to do that."

With that, he closed the bathroom door leaving his brother outside not knowing what he could or should do besides nothing at all.


	43. Chapter 43

Gunma University Medical School Parking Lot, Maebashi, Later that Thursday

Ryousuke was walking out of the med-school and checking his phone. There had been one missed call and a voicemail left by his brother to "check in" with him to see if he was "okay" after Keisuke had pretty much called him out on admitting he loved Takumi. The otouto was probably freaking out a little, knowing the difficult task his elder had ahead, and probably wondering a whole lot of other things besides. Ryousuke should have never admitted something like that, even by omission, but, he had learned his lesson that he should no longer keep personal things from the younger; Keisuke deserved to know the truth. He wasn't a child, and he wasn't stupid, and he actually cared about his brother's happiness enough to have the concern displayed all over his face when he learned that truth.

There were, however, no missed calls from either his Father or his assistant Tanaka Mayumi, and it was already nearly five o'clock. He had been able to set aside his fury to focus on the lab, but it was slowly creeping back in like a thick, sickening ooze. It definitely looked like the Good Doctor was playing hardball today; he was sure that Tanaka would have delivered the message requesting his callback by now.

Part of him wanted to follow through with his threat of calling her husband's divorce lawyer, but part of him took even more satisfaction that she was likely sweating it out all by herself wondering if he had. After all, she would definitely be in a position to know whether or not his Father had returned his son's call or not. Now that it was about the end of their "official" work day, Ryousuke thought she had to have her pretty knickers in a twist waiting for her boss to phone his heir so she could be free from wondering if said heir would call that attorney and spill the proverbial beans about her extramarital affair.

As he put his satchel and books on the passenger seat of the FC, he slid into the driver's seat and thought about what his next steps should be. His usual routine was to text Takumi to let him know he was done with class, but he didn't want to do that before he knew for sure whether or not his Father was going to let him talk his way out of the significantly expedited departure date. Not to mention, he also wanted to use the opportunity of a private audience with his Father to adamantly express his displeasure over the omiai that both his parents apparently felt the need to arrange for him with the parents of the Lovely and Talented Ishikawa Midori. _Très bien. Merde._

He had to _plan_.

First, there was Simulation One. He could try Tanaka again, though he was certainly loathe to speak with the woman twice within the same twelve hour period. Even if he had something over her like the Sword of Damocles, it was more gratifying to be the wielder of the suspended Sword that represented the perilous nature of one's bliss than actually dropping it. He could drop that thing on her at any time and she had a very good understanding of that, and, regardless of if or when Ryousuke ever did drop it, Tanaka's position at the hospital would become very perilous indeed once his Father found the next pretty pop-tart from the administrative pool or the nursing staff. She'd probably be reduced to working for one of the mid-level management before ultimately getting her pink slip. Ryousuke had already planned that, if she was still around when he was officially instated on the payroll, he himself would make sure that resignation would be in her best interest. After all, since his Father held the same damoclean presence over him, what kind of gentleman would he be if he didn't share his wealth from time to time? But, he didn't want to talk to her after all, since her prickly bitchy nature would probably only rile him up worse than he already was. If there was one thing he knew about going into battle, one couldn't do it with anger and expect to obtain a positive result.

Not only that, he hated to have to have any conversation with his Father in this sort of once-removed way. That was his Father's little power game, and he didn't care to play according to the Doctor's rules today. If he was going to be the successor someday, he knew he needed to start succeeding. For that, he needed to play by his own rules. This battle had to be calculated extremely carefully.

So, onward to Simulation Two.

He could go back to the family home, and actually call the man's work cell phone from the house phone the way his Mother usually did when she needed that urgent refill of Xanax or sleeping pills when her psychiatrist didn't want to prescribe it before the next 30-day interval. Unfortunately, his Father likely knew that Mother had already left for her weekend getaway, so he probably wouldn't answer that call either. That was too transparent a gambit to throw at the Chess Master; the checkmate of his decision would be all but guaranteed by him not taking the call. What might throw him off his game, however, would be for the Doctor to see a direct call to his work cell from Ryousuke's own cell phone, a direct challenge to his rule. He shouldn't be relegated to passing through his Father's several gatekeepers, and, though the patriarch tried very hard to conceal his many direct line numbers from his children, Ryousuke had found most of them anyway; he had developed his own loyal following among some of the admins, so he managed to get information here and there from some of them. The most coveted number among many other direct office lines, the _personal_ cell, was Ryousuke's heavily guarded trump card. Again, his Father had his little power play about forcing his children to contact him through official channels, but the man had slipped up once and called him to yell at him for some ridiculous and now-unremembered thing from that very personal phone, obviously forgetting or simply unaware that his eldest son had a much better understanding about how cellphones worked than he did. A cute little app with a caller ID block reverser did the trick and Ryousuke had it. Ryousuke had kept the number under wraps, figuring the only time he'd actually deign to use it would be if he ever walked into the absent spouse's luxurious master bedroom at the family home someday to find his mother either overdosed or actually dead.

Maybe it was time to actually use it, which would definitely have an element of shock-and-awe toward the defiance, but he briefly wondered if this qualified as an emergency. For a man who sometimes dealt with catastrophic medical emergencies as a career, however, Ryousuke's little disagreement about school and an arranged introduction would hardly qualify as a true emergency in his Father's eyes after all.

Nix Simulations One and Two.

Simulation Three would be to go to the hospital in person and have him paged, which would guarantee an immediate callback, but he'd probably get scolded for using his position that way as well. Also, there could be collateral damage to any employee or nurse who assisted him. If he was going to be running the show someday, he certainly didn't want the nursing or administrative staff to dislike him right off the bat. Anyone who knew anything about running a hospital knew that if you made the nursing staff unhappy, that no patient would be comfortable either, no matter how many outstanding doctors were on the payroll. One of his more sensible professors had bluntly told him once, "You don't fucking mess with nurses." That statement should be Chapter One Paragraph One in any hospital administration textbook, and it was pretty obvious that his Father and some of the members of the Board had failed to read that one. He knew that some nurses preferred to work at the offsite clinics over the main hospital because it was pretty much common knowledge that his Father was not only an asshole but a huge philanderer, but no one ever dared speak of it beyond a whisper. It sickened Ryousuke, but it was the truth; a truth he did hope to someday correct.

His Father definitely had the surgeon's God-Complex big time, and he didn't care who knew it. He rewarded people generously for performance, though, so most staffers took the bonus money and kept their mouths shut. It didn't work for everyone, however; the nursing staff had issues with him especially. The clinics, being run by regional directors and with hospital doctors doing rotations in and out of them, provided separation for some nurses who didn't want to deal with the politics of the main hospital, despite the better pay working at the hospital offered. Ryousuke knew that if he had to run the operation someday, there would be some very big changes coming in the human resources department, that was for sure. In the end, he concluded that if he used the hospital to page, Father would definitely be displeased and it wouldn't put himself in the greatest light either.

He turned on the ignition to warm up the FC; the early October chill had increased a bit since the sun was beginning to set, and he had left the house in a hurry without bringing a sweater to put on between his dress shirt and sport coat. He had to make a decision. He put the car in gear and started driving back toward central Maebashi where the main hospital stood towering over the landscape in all its glass and steel glory.

He started to drive in that direction because there was _that_ option: Simulation Four.

But, was it the best option? By now, Ryousuke thought, it was probably the only option. He didn't want to do it, but there was one place where his Father was sure to go when he wanted to avoid the family. That was the condo he owned near to the hospital where he lived his Monday through Friday workaday existence under the thinly veiled guise of reducing his commute and being more "available" to the hospital. It was the very place where Ryousuke swore he'd never cross the threshold, having a keen understanding of the condo's many "other uses". He'd actually never even seen the interior, having only had a few occasions to actually go there at all, most notably when his Father had some issue with his Benz and needed him to bring his Mother's Benz to serve as his loaner car while his own was towed away to some over-priced Mercedes dealership because some stupid little thing was acting up. Even though most things Ryousuke could have fixed himself for his parent for a fraction of the cost, the Doctor refused to allow it just to make his point clear that there should be no reason for the hands of a future surgeon to hold obtuse tools like a lug wrench when he should be studying to hold surgical clamps and a scalpel. It mattered not that Ryousuke seriously did not want to become a surgeon in the first place.

Unfortunately, time was running out, quickly now, and something had to be done. Fine then. He'd go to the Den of Iniquity.

He glanced toward the clock on the dashboard of the FC: 5:05 PM. If his Father stuck to what Ryousuke had discovered was his usual routine, he'd be taking Tanaka to Maison du Lac for dinner and drinks about now, the patriarch having a longstanding relationship with the proprietor of the French Provencial restaurant going back to their University days. They certainly were thick as thieves; never once had the owner thought to share with his Mother that her husband was a regular Thursday customer with a different girl on his arm every few months when Mother was Father's dinner guest. Disgusting. Thankfully, French food wasn't his favorite because that was another establishment he certainly did not patronize himself on his own, even if he had gone there several times for family dinners with the grandparents and other assorted relatives when they came to visit. He wondered if he'd have to take Ishikawa Midori there too since she obviously had spent plenty of time in France, and it would be just his rotten luck if she asked to be taken there Sunday night. Great.

He kept driving toward the restaurant to see if his theory was correct. It was. So fucking predictable; the Benz was sitting there all shiny and black and waxed to perfection in the valet parking lot. He drove past, figuring he had at least an hour to kill before aperitif and dinner would be consumed and the amorous pair would find their way back to the condo for their digestif.

He turned back toward the hospital so he could park in his reserved space and call Keisuke back in relative privacy. He knew he was delaying the inevitable by not texting Takumi, but he needed to do that because he had to talk to his Father first. That much had been decided well before, and he resolved to stick to that plan.

He pulled into the parking structure and flashed his badge at the attendant before circling to Executive Row where his parking spot was located. This was another one of his Father's showy demonstrations, the blatant labelling of a space for his son among the vehicles of the members of the Board and Executive management as soon as he had gotten his license, a sort of "fuck you" to anyone on the Board who thought that they or their children had a chance to move up and displace the "Takahashi" from the Takahashi Medical Consortium someday.

Although, he couldn't argue with the perk of having a reserved parking space, especially since he knew it pissed his Father off to have the FC sitting there instead of some Porsche or BMW or even something more exotic like a Lambo. He could play the passive aggressive game too, and he knew his Father knew it.

He stopped the car in front of the sign that displayed his name in both Kanji and Romaji and cut the engine. He reached for his phone and dialed his brother.

"Yo," came the response after the first ring. "Where are you?"

"At the hospital."

"Have you talked to him yet?"

"Unfortunately, no. He's making me wait."

"Asshole."

"Yeah. His car is currently at Maison du Lac, one of your favorite hangouts," he supplied, trying to keep the mood as light as possible.

Keisuke made a gagging sound. "Ugh I hate that place. I used to hate getting dragged there all the time when we were kids. Nothing like spending two hours in a fucking sailor suit while your relatives either ignore you or treat you like shit."

"Yeah, it's not one of my favorite places either, especially since I often had to wear a matching sailor suit. God. What was Mother thinking back then?"

"Who knows. She was already on her way to the nuthouse I guess."

"I guess."

The line was left open in silence by the pair for a few seconds.

"So what are you doing?" Keisuke finally asked seriously, as though he understood that the initial conversation was delaying the inevitable.

"Just killing time until they head back to the condo. I'm going there to talk to him because I'm tired of waiting."

Silence.

"Are you sure you wanna go _there_?"

"Of course I don't," the elder responded with irritation. "But, he's left me no other choice since he doesn't think I'm worthy enough for a phone call since this morning."

"Won't he, you know, have someone there? You said 'they'."

"I don't care. Our Father is many things, but 'stupid' is not one of them. He knows I know. It's probably Tanaka anyway, and you know now that she can't do anything while I hold some very important cards in my hand that she'd definitely prefer I fold rather than show."

"All the same, I don't know about this tactic. Showing up there…"

"I'll park on the street. He can't tell me my car can't be on a public road."

"Aniki!"

"I need to do this, Keisuke. In person. He needs to see just how unwilling I am to leave early, and how unwilling I am to put a ring on that girl's finger."

Keisuke was silent again. "Look. I'm on the road to Saitama, but I can turn around. You need to let me go with you. I won't say anything to piss him off, I promise. I'll just...be there...if you need me."

"Absolutely not."

"Why?!" the younger shouted. "Why won't you let me help you out for once?! Especially now that I know how serious you are about things!"

"No. Keep driving to Saitama. You're serious too aren't you?"

"..."

"She's the one you need to be there for now," Ryousuke said gently. "Don't let me be the cause of you disappointing her by breaking your date."

"She'll understand," the younger softly replied.

"Even if that's true, you need to put yourself and your life first. You don't need my baggage, and you certainly do not need problems with our Father just when you are about to be free of him."

"But, Aniki, _Ryousuke_ , please…I have a bad feeling..."

"Please don't worry. I can handle myself; we've had disagreements before, even some rather heated ones. It always works out either in my favor or his and we move on. It's how we've been playing this game for a long time now. All he will learn is that I have no interest in an omiai and that I want to stick to my original departure date; I'm not intending to tell him I won't leave. I just...need to negotiate for more time."

Keisuke was silent again. "Is a couple more months with him really worth the risk of the Asshole making things worse for you?"

Ryousuke closed his eyes. "Now who sounds cold...?"

"Sorry, that didn't come out right. Shit. What I meant was...shouldn't you know if he feels the same way before you rock the boat with Captain Asshole? If he doesn't, then, you shouldn't tempt fate with our Father. That's logical. Where is your fucking logic?"

Where, indeed? He had left it somewhere along the Akina togue, no doubt. The sentiment hung in the dead air of the phone connection.

"He let me ride in the navi-seat of the hachi-roku on the Akina downhill…," Ryousuke said quietly at length. "All out, Keisuke."

"Really."

"Yeah."

"Was that what Akagi was about too that time? Like when you showed me?"

"Yeah."

"Ok...All right. I get it. Ok."

"Thank you, Keisuke."

"Yeah. I'll let you handle this your own way, even if I don't like it. If it means that much to you…"

"It does."

"Good luck. And call me as soon as you know the Asshole's answer and not a _tenth_ of a second later."

"I will."

With that, his brother ended the call and Ryousuke took a deep breath. He supposed he could go for a short walk to one of the cafes nearby to the hospital and study for a while; by his calculations and the fact that his Father didn't stay up as late anymore now that he was getting older, he figured dinner to be over at about 6:30, which would place them back at the condo by 7. If he showed up at 7:30, he'd be sure to interrupt whatever was going on and still have time before his Father's strict 10 PM bedtime to have the conversation without a worry of it dragging on too terribly long. If there was one thing he knew about his Father over the last few years, it was his personal weeknight routine. He rarely wavered from it, so Ryousuke did not have a concern that his Father would suddenly get in the mood to take in a show or go to a movie. He'd go to the condo and have another drink before he had his...dessert.

He pulled his satchel from the passenger seat and exited the car into the chilly early evening. As he began to walk toward the exit of the parking structure, he noticed a few lower executives he vaguely recognized leaving the building to approach their own cars in Executive Row. "Good Evening, Gentlemen," he said quietly with a respectful bow.

"Ah, Good Evening, Takahashi-Bocchama," came the polite verbal reciprocation along with bows mirroring his own. He hoped they wouldn't engage him in conversation, and it seemed that luck was on his side as the small group of executives erred on the side of discretion and made no comment as to why their CEO's son had decided to use his parking space after his Father had already left for the day. There were some perks to this life after all, Ryousuke ceded; his Father had instilled in most of his leadership that his family's personal lives were certainly of no concern to them. It didn't stop _all_ the gossip; there were always leaks, to be sure, but it helped a little. He didn't worry that the ensemble of Executive Directors would tell his Father that they had run into him; they weren't high enough on the food chain for that and it seemed as though they knew it.

"Begging your pardon, then, Sirs, I have a personal errand to complete at one of the establishments nearby," Ryousuke declared, assembling a good-enough alibi should any of the men decide to try and figure out why he was there after all, and also it served to signal to them that they could resume their walk to their cars. He wasn't sure he'd ever be entirely comfortable with being on the receiving end of such deference to have these older men wait on his say-so for them to be excused, but, even if he wasn't always comfortable with it, he was used to it.

Having been thusly excused, the men went to their respective boring import sedans and a light chorus of German engineering echoed through the parking structure as the Executives started their cars to leave work for the day. Ryousuke walked out of the structure and found a small cafe where he could buy a coffee and study. It wasn't terribly crowded, and it would be a non-descript place to kill time.

He ordered the coffee and found a small table at which to read, but he found that his thoughts wanted to stray from biochemistry to his upcoming trip abroad after all.

Nothing like those requisite bows of deference from the hospital executives would be happening in America, that was for sure. Although he certainly didn't want to go, there was some undeniable appeal about landing in a large country where who he was didn't matter, where he was a complete nobody. There would be no people bowing to him there; if Americans didn't like someone, they usually didn't pretend they did either. There was some appeal to that honesty, at least to a point. Of course, they were reasonably polite in mixed company, but, thanks to his Father's dealings with people in the country over the years, he'd been around them enough to know that one could definitely tell who was friends and who was not once a crowd disbursed.

Of course, most of the Americans he'd spent any length of time with in his life were the English tutors his family employed for him, but he had met a few visiting doctors from the country as well, along with their families. The children, even the older ones his age, seemed to find Japanese etiquette to be very daunting having never grown up with it; they probably only received a crash-course on the plane ride over, and some of them in his age-group had sort of a "trying-too-hard" air about them until they were excused by their parents to go home or to their hotel. Occasionally, his Father had forced him to "entertain" the children of the visiting families, and, although he made a show of disliking it, once the kids were away from their parents, they were full of mischief and excitement and relaxed energy, but most were definitely smart kids who didn't behave too outrageously after all. Some of those kids were downright cunning in the way they "worked-around" their family's rules, and he found that he got a lot of ideas about rule bending from them. He supposed that when you came from a country founded on the basis of rebellion, it probably was ingrained in each young person to rebel a little, and, for the most part, parents took it in stride which shocked him at first.

He recalled one instance when he allowed himself to be dragged along to a nightclub in Roppongi with some of them because they had difficulty navigating the Tokyo trains. When they had finished exploring the club and all the flashing neon of the streets before returning to the hotel, one of the parents was in the lobby waiting for them. Ryousuke had been prepared to be scolded heavily since he was the accidental tour guide, but the father only laughed it off, telling the kids to "get out of his face and go to bed" with a smile on his own face. After Ryousuke had made a very sincerely Japanese apology to the man for agreeing to accompany the kids for their sneak-out night out on the town, the man just laughed again. "Don't do that, kiddo. I know they dragged you into it, and I'm glad you went along to help them navigate around town. They're good kids, and this is a trip of a lifetime for them, so it's not like we didn't expect them to try and get away from their boring parents and go out to have a little harmless fun, right?" Ryousuke remembered just staring at the man for a few seconds. "I know you're a good kid, Son, so I hope you had a little fun too, even though you probably had to act as babysitter and translator. So, thanks for showing our kids around this whole time, and don't take things so seriously. You've got your whole adult life to work and you're only young once, right?"

It was an eye-opener as a third year high school student, because his own Father would never have let him get away with something like that if he had been caught, and he had to admit it now, looking back, that it was a boost to allaying some of his latent apprehension about racing illegally on mountain roads. He decided at that moment that he would take the man's advice, at least on the togue. He was only young once after all, and, as long as he didn't get arrested, he would damn well do as he pleased out on the street.

Once that mentality was lodged in the back of his mind, the White Comet truly had taken off and it was the start of everything he would now have to leave behind.

He finished his coffee and read another chapter in his textbook before glancing at his watch; he had waited long enough.

He walked back to the nearly deserted parking structure and climbed back into the FC. He could do this. All his points were justified.

He started the car and drove the short distance to the row of luxury condos a few blocks away from the hospital. He parked the FC on the street and walked along the sidewalk to unit 8. He chuckled toward his Father's odd adherence to numerology; there always had to be an 8 somewhere in the address of any property in which their Father spent any length of time. Most people peripherally knew that the number 8 signified wealth and authority, but there was also an element of balance in the number which sometimes allowed for high risks with either heavy rewards or heavy losses as a possible outcome.

It seemed fitting to have the conversation here; he'd be taking a gamble showing up at the door, but he hoped that his Father would recognize the risk he took by being there as a signal of the importance of the matter to his son.

As he approached from the sidewalk, however, the sight of the BMW in one of the visitor spaces the condo possessed made his stomach turn and a shot of anger flare up anew. His Father certainly held no qualms about carrying on carefree with mistresses as his own wife withered away into a haze of mind-numbing drugs at home, even if she had been pretty darn lucid this morning.

This was not the time for that discussion, though, so he pushed it aside and walked up to the door. He rang the bell.

Nothing.

He rang the bell again and waited again.

After a few more seconds, he could hear some rustling about behind the door and it was opened partially.

There stood his Father with his tie loosened and his dress shirt half untucked and a nasty look of disapproval on his face he didn't bother to hide. "What are you doing here?" he snapped while taking care to keep his voice low.

"Good Evening, Father," Ryousuke replied with a bow. "Please forgive the intrusion, but I need to speak with you."

"Make an appointment for tomorrow," came the curt reply.

"Regretfully, I feel that this matter is of some importance. I will only need a bit of your attention," he said, raising himself and looking the man straight in the eye demonstrating that he was not about to leave now that he had broken the unspoken rule that the condo was off-limits to his Father's children.

"It's _not_ a good time, Ryousuke. Call Tanaka in the morning and book an appointment."

Okay. So he was sticking to his guns. Time to up the ante.

"Shall I just ask her to pull up your calendar now? I know she's here... _visiting_. Tell me, did she enjoy the coq au vin tonight?"

His Father's look said it all; he was definitely unhappy with his presence, but Ryousuke had sent the right message that he was not in the mood to play by his rules tonight and he knew he had him in a compromised position.

Takahashi Ryuuichi exhaled sharply. "I supposed you would find out about my changing your plans sooner rather than later, so I'm not entirely surprised that you are here."

"Then you understand that I have objections."

"That doesn't surprise me either."

"Then I would like to discuss this now."

The Takahashi patriarch considered briefly, then opened the door fully. Ryousuke could see that Tanaka was busily pulling herself together on the sofa. Classy.

He stepped over the threshold to a place he'd never wanted to enter, but he wasn't going to let this chance slip away. Now that he was here, he didn't have any guilt about using the leverage the mistress provided to get him through the door. He was certain that his Father wasn't 100% sure that he wouldn't talk about who was visiting the Doctor at his private condo to his Mother, even though he never actually did. It was always effective to cast doubt in an opponent in whatever small way possible. At least he _hoped_ his Father would have some doubt over whether or not his Mother knew about his many mistresses. He wasn't entirely sure, but he hoped for her sake that he didn't know she knew.

Ryousuke walked in and removed his shoes, purposely placing them right next to the Jimmy Choos which belonged to the houseguest who was pinning her hair back rather hurriedly as she rose from the sofa. No doubt his Father probably bought them just like he'd bought the BMW parked outside.

"Tanaka," his Father began, "I'm sure you remember my eldest."

"Of course, Sensei. A pleasure to see you again, Ryousuke-bocchama," the normally bad-attitude assistant replied in an obviously put-on show of politeness. "Your Father and I were just finishing up."

"Oh?" Ryousuke fake-pondered, "Is that so? Then I suppose I'm not interrupting as much as I thought I might be. Please forgive the intrusion all the same, Tanaka- _san_." He knew the emphasis on the honorific would annoy her to no end since he usually refused to do it. He saw it take effect right away because the irritation was now plainly displayed on her attractive face.

"Sensei, please do not allow your heir to speak to me in such a way-"

His Father held up his hand to silence her. "He's not a fool; don't treat him like one. _Understood?_ " His tone was soft, but the message was firm. It shut her up immediately because she apparently thought that her lover had no idea his son knew about their relationship, but the man definitely communicated that not only did he _know_ his son was aware, but he also didn't give a shit either. Turning to his son, he added, "And you also need to learn a little bit about distance. After tonight, my expectation is that you will never appear here again unless you are asked to do so."

"Understood." 'Okay. Whatever,' he added silently to himself. At least the bitch was clearly flustered now, and that was mildly amusing.

Tanaka had moved from the sofa and started walking toward another room in the condo that Ryousuke assumed might be a home office. "I'll wait for you in the study, Sensei."

"No, Tanaka. We're done for tonight. It seems I do have several things to discuss with my son."

"But, Sensei-"

" _Leave us."_

For all that she wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, Tanaka quickly obeyed and picked up her briefcase and phone. As she headed toward the genkan to put on her expensive heels, she "accidentally" bumped Ryousuke subtly enough so that it might be believed that it was an accident, even though the gesture was clearly meant to say, "I fucking _hate_ you, Bocchan."

She exited without further comment and his Father exhaled, but didn't bother to tuck in his shirt or tighten his tie. Instead, he walked to the open galley-style kitchen and removed a bottle of Whiskey from one cabinet and a glass from another. "Don't just stand there," he remarked to his son who had not been invited in.

Taking that as the invitation, Ryousuke stepped further into the condo and planted himself in the living room, focusing on some blandly appealing yet inoffensively neutral piece of art hanging on the opposite wall. He hadn't been invited to sit, but he didn't want to sit anyway. He had barely a couple of centimeters on his Father in height; it wasn't much, but any small advantage in this situation needed to be used. The main living area was decorated simply but elegantly, just as many of their hospitals and clinics were. No doubt that this was more of the Ishikawa family's work as his Father did not have the eye for beauty that his wife possessed, and certainly there was no representation of his Mother here.

"When did you find out that I made other arrangements for you?" his Father asked, sternly, but calmly. Ryousuke could hear ice cubes being dropped into the empty glass followed by the sound of a couple of fingers worth of liquor being poured.

"Last night."

"I see."

His Father had not joined him in the living room yet; rather, Ryousuke heard the sound of the glass being tipped back, the ice making a tinkling noise against the fine drinkware before the heavy leaded crystal was placed loudly back upon the counter.

He remained silent, allowing his Father to pour himself another drink. He didn't delude himself into thinking a handful of fingers of Whiskey would make the man any more receptive to his argument, but he also knew better that it was not wise to interrupt his nightcap, especially since he had clearly interrupted something _else_.

After he heard the glass roughly placed on the counter again, he stole a glance toward where his father stood in the open-concept kitchen and their eyes met in a sort of mirror image of younger and older of the same shared blood. Why did he have to look so much like this man? It was irritating. He hated it because, with each passing year, it was becoming more and more evident. All he needed to do was to slap on the pair of eyeglasses he knew he already needed, but was refusing to acknowledge needing, and to stop adding highlights to his hair for the physical resemblance to be complete but for the number of years between their ages.

"Then let's hear your argument," his Father began, "You came here to debate me over this, did you not?"

"Very well. I'll state my peace then, if you will indulge me to do so."

"Go on, then. I'm always _indulging_ you." Okay. So that was his first volley. Fine.

"I do not see why it was necessary for you to expedite my departure. My semester at Gundai will still be ongoing at that time. However do you expect me to finish the term from overseas when I have several practicals remaining, not to mention several exams as well?"

"I've made those additional arrangements already. Your professors agreed to let you take the practicals alone over the next couple of weeks before you leave, and will allow you to complete the rest of your assignments and exams via email from abroad. Surely you cannot think I would not have made certain that was possible before contacting _that school_ over there."

Okay. Now Ryousuke knew for sure that his Father did not approve of his choice to attend school in Michigan after all. He had wondered if that had gotten under his skin, and now he knew that it had. That could be a point in his favor, but his Father scored the first point after all by coercing his professors to make special arrangements for him at Gundai. Great. As if he needed more reasons for his fellow students to fucking hate him for his position as the heir to the conglomerate.

"I see. I do find it difficult to believe that you would support even a partially online education such as this. Isn't it you who is always telling me that it would not do for your heir to miss lectures, no matter what the subject, so that my presence is acknowledged by both teachers and students alike?"

His Father poured another two fingers of Whiskey and tipped it back before coming around the kitchen island which acted as the only separation between the rooms. "In this case, drastic measures needed to be taken and so I took them," he said in a low voice tinged with irritation.

"I fail to understand why you thought this course correction was necessary. My marks have been exemplary and I have done plenty of rotations at the hospital. At least I should be able to finish out the term and depart as originally scheduled, as I would hate to miss any nuance of a lesson just because you wish for me to be be attending remotely."

"Oh, would you, now?" his Father responded sarcastically. "That's a first. Who knew you were so _dedicated_? Especially after choosing a medical school in some _backwater_ in the American midwest when you could have gone to _Stanford_ where I at least have connections. Of course, I'm sure you did that on purpose just to irritate me. Am I wrong?"

"You're not wrong, Father, but I prefer to make my own mark without the aid of your influence. Going somewhere that I know my achievements will be all my own should be considered to be admirable, even if irritation on your part is an unintended side-effect," Ryousuke answered coldly, willing the blood in his veins to stop bubbling with the heat of his mounting frustration.

The Doctor chuckled cynically. "You think you are so smart. You tend to forget, my Son, that I've spent my life preparing you for your future, giving you _every_ advantage. It is nothing short of your own ignorance and snobbery and _immaturity_ that you choose not to make use of those advantages whenever they are presented before you."

"Is the omiai scheduled for this Sunday another one of those advantages? Forgive my bluntness, but Ishikawa is hardly more than a minor Board member, is that not correct? Why align me with that family?"

"That, also, is the result of the drastic measures your Mother and I need to take with you because of your continued rebellion. In case you have not noticed, candidates among your peers are all but gone. Ishikawa's daughter is one of the last remaining near to your age, and, _believe me_ , I am not thrilled either, but we are out of time and our preferred families no longer have available daughters of a fair age. Given your choices in this regard, or lack thereof, we are choosing for you."

"I've heard all of that from my Mother. I didn't think this sort of frivolous obsession of women much mattered to you when compared against my career. Why must you encourage her? I have no intention of making any formal agreements with the Ishikawa family heiress." He normally wasn't a misogynist, but it was a card to play because he knew his Father definitely was. The fact that he owned this condo was proof of it.

"I'm not furthering this discussion with you. Your arguments on either point have failed. You will get on that _plane_ and when you come back, you will be expected to show up when the marriage date is set. If you pass on Ishikawa, we _will_ find another. Is that _clear_?!"

"Unequivocally."

The Doctor stepped back for a moment, as if surprised that another comeback was not eminent. "Are you losing your edge, Son? No snotty retort this time?"

"That would be _immature_ of me, would it not?" This was it. It was time to lay it all out and come what may because dialogue was not working. Father was not going to change his mind, so Ryousuke just needed to _inform_ the man now just as clearly that he had no intentions of going along.

His Father narrowed his eyes. "What game do you think you are playing here? This is your _life_ we are talking about!" he shouted.

"Yes, I agree with you that it is _my_ life," he replied coldly, not reacting to his Father's elevated volume. "Therefore, I am _informing_ you that I do not accept these changes to the original plan and I will not agree to anything beyond Sunday's initial meeting. If marriage is your intention for me, I accept that, but i will not accept this accelerated timeline which does not allow for me to adequately assess this particular candidate before making a decision. I have seen no evidence that there is some sudden lack of women in my age group throughout the whole of Takasaki and Maebashi, so I feel that the argument you and Mother are making on that point is blatantly _false._ I am not refusing to go abroad outright, so it is _not_ a rebellion, as you have put it. It should be _more than acceptable_ that I am only asking that we revert back to our original arrangement. I believe that I expressed to you before that I will not leave until Project D is finished. That means, when my drivers are _signed professionals,_ and, even if I'm retired from driving myself, there is so much more to racing than that, and I won't ever give it up entirely. I will continue to support them and anyone else I find worthy. It should be in _your_ best interest as well to know that your second son is secure. Although I cede that he will be signed before the end of this month, the other driver is not due to sign until early November, which fit into the original schedule. I see no benefit to altering it, especially because it will no doubt cause additional work both for me and for my esteemed professors at Gundai. It also bears mentioning the special arrangement that the University of Michigan had to make for their required orientation program. If you are as logical as I believe that you are, Father, you cannot deny that doing these things so suddenly has no true merit in a strictly cost-benefit analysis, so why do it at all?"

For some reason, his Father did not interrupt his lecture, and for some reason, instead of giving Ryousuke confidence it gave him pause. His knew his points were valid, but expectation was that each sentence would be punctuated by a rebuttal, yet it wasn't. Why was his Father saying _nothing?_

The Doctor silently went to a small table by the sofa and pulled a cigarette from a pack sitting upon it and lit up with a lighter from his pocket. He returned to the kitchen and dumped out the half-melted ice into the sink and replaced it with a few fresh cubes.

Clink. Clink. Clink. Pour.

"Are you _quite_ finished?" he asked with a low tone.

"I suppose."

"I see. Then I must inform _you_ that you have totally missed the point of my recent decisions."

What? What else was there to it other than the Asshole just got his perverse kicks by wanting to make him pissed only to get his compliance anyway just like always? Was there another game afoot somewhere? There was no time to consider anything but to keep pounding away with assertiveness.

"I'm not leaving before December, Father. I refuse. Once _both_ of my drivers' contracts are ratified, only then will I leave the country."

His Father shook his head in the negative and knocked back his drink between drags of his cigarette. "You are not getting your way this time, Ryousuke. My indulgence of you _stops_. _Now."_

"I'm telling you, Father, that I will not comply with this. I need to know that my drivers are settled. I plan to stay involved with racing from the sidelines, and it doesn't mean I won't follow your wishes for my career. It never has. You agreed to let me see this through, why must you re-neg now? We have always bargained with each other, but this time, I cannot accept your terms."

"Why must this always come back to that _illegal_ pastime of yours?!" the man finally snapped. "Grow the hell up! It's _fucking done_ and I will have no more of your disrespect!"

"But Keisuke needs-"

"I don't give a _shit_ about that good-for-nothing brother of yours! How many times do I need to tell you that it's only out of respect for your Mother that I have not completely _erased_ that Yanqui from this family! And then you had to go and find some other nobody to be another surrogate little brother too, all for that way-too-public _illegal_ racing bullshit! It's _over_ , Ryousuke! I will no longer have you participate in anything that brings a tarnish to this family's name, and that includes your association with ' _your drivers'_ as you put it. That _includes_ your brother. I absolved you of your responsibility for him _years_ ago. So, _fucking_ be absolved and _fucking behave yourself!_ "

Now that the swearing and yelling had begun in earnest, there was no more need to try to be refined. The time for gentlemanly debate with valid points was over. He was furious that his Father refused to change his mind, and all the rage came washing over him like the hottest of lava flows. His insults of Keisuke, of racing, of Takumi being some nobody surrogate little brother, his demand to get engaged to some prissy little bitch he barely knew nor cared about in any way, the upped timeline and all the hoops he would now have to jump through to make it happen, and, of course, having now to tell Takumi that he would be leaving way too soon. It was too much for him to bear for even one second longer.

"Oh, the fact that you own this place and what you _do_ here does nothing to tarnish the family name?!' he shot back icily. Hearing no response, he lowered his voice and continued, "That must be the exclusive right of the patriarch to _screw_ with everyone and everything I suppose. Everyone knows about your _many_ indiscretions, Father, so much so that it's a _cosmic joke_ at the very hospital you run. How many lawsuits have we settled over that with how many nurses and admins over the years? I've goddamn _seen_ the accounting and the legal department is certainly living large because of you. Not to mention knowing what your behavior has done to Mother."

The elder Takahashi stubbed out his cigarette with a chuckle. "You definitely do not want to open this can of worms with me right now, Ryousuke," his Father seethed.

Ryousuke remained silent, and a sickening feeling started to emerge but his anger was making it so that he couldn't quite place the cause of it. He knew he stepped way out of bounds, but so had his Father by doing this to him.

"I suggest you cut your _significant_ losses in this argument and walk out this door immediately before I make you truly regret coming here."

"Are you _threatening_ me, Father?"

"I don't have to threaten you. I know everything about you and you are completely clueless. You're leaving. If I could have arranged everything sooner than by the end of the month, you'd have been gone already."

'What?!' Ryousuke thought wildly. Where had this sudden urgency come from anyway? Usually his Father was not this rash. He tried to replay the evening's interaction over in his mind because obviously he missed something _extremely_ significant. Before the playback could start, however, the Doctor was speaking again.

"I'm giving you one final chance to walk out of here with some shred of dignity and I suggest you take it. And as far as my 'indiscretions', when you are married yourself someday, which will be sooner than you think, you will have an understanding of that as well, and you will be exactly the same as me or anyone in a number of men in positions such as ours. Our lives are stressful. Wives and children are a hassle. Some men drink, some men use prescriptions, some men have mistresses, and some men use all three to relieve that stress. So leave, before you force me to begin a discussion that I _guarantee_ you will live to regret having occurred. I'm sending you abroad for your own good so that you will be away from the negative influences around you."

So that's what it was. He was still stuck on Keisuke and racing being negative influences, even though Keisuke had stayed out of trouble for _years_ now and he was fucking _retired_ from racing himself, deciding that mentoring and coaching was a role he could eventually refine over the next few years to coincide with his medical career. This was beyond ridiculous, and he couldn't believe that Father would resort to such a rushed and misguided plan to remove him over those things now. Ryousuke dared to chuckle a little through his fury. "Forgive me, Father, but do you not see the irony of your last statement? You think I have bad influences here in Japan, and your solution to that problem is to ship me off to the World Capital of _Freedom_ and _Fun_? I've done everything you have asked of me, and we had agreements about racing and I stuck to them. And, may I remind you, that you made Keisuke my problem and I solved it for you."

His Father shook his head. "All right. I tried to give you an 'out' but obviously your brain is rotting or you're just too pissed off and you can't see an opportunity when it is plainly given to you. You want to play this game longer? Fine. I'll play it with you and then you will see that moving you across an ocean is the _only_ option for me right now. It's too late for me to get you in at a school in Europe. I _tried_ , so I'll take my chances that since you have no one you know who isn't connected to me in that huge country, that you will have plenty of time to _repent_ for your _many_ sins."

'What? Europe? What? Repent? In America of all places where they actually had more cars than _God_ and guns and drugs and crime and fucking Disney World? How the hell does that make sense?!' His brain was reeling with these quick-fire questions until it suddenly stopped. Repent. Sins. Repent. 'Oh dear God...'

"You see, Ryousuke, you possess a very narrow view of my marriage to your Mother. You may not believe it, but I love her dearly. I speak with her daily, and her happiness does concern me, whether or not you think so. She also understands why I choose to live apart from her most days and accepts it, even if you believe she doesn't. She has a _very good_ understanding in fact; I've offered her a _very favorable_ divorce settlement on more than one occasion due to my own faults, and she has always refused. She understands the importance of a clean lineage way more than does our _heir_."

Ryousuke thought he was going to vomit. How could this man say that when Keisuke had plainly told him he had heard their Mother crying over it? And what exactly did the man think he knew about him anyway? No. It wasn't possible for his Father to have a whole bunch of facts; he'd been very discreet about everything. Sure, he had a few near-misses when he was younger, but he had gotten pretty good at keeping his lovers on the down low, hadn't he? It wasn't like he had a whole stable of them for crying out loud; in the last five years, and even counting the few girls, the number added up to fewer than ten, and even fewer were intimate partners. He'd lost count of the number of mistresses his Father had managed to take. Where did he slip up?

"So, imagine my concern when she began alerting me to the fact that you were spending more time away from home recently in favor of using your campus apartment."

Shit.

"Naturally, I phoned the building and discovered that you had been there more often in the last couple of months than you have in all the time that I've owned it. It doesn't take a genius to add two and two, so I figured you had a girlfriend you were keeping there."

Okay. A girlfriend. Okay. Maybe he wasn't totally screwed.

"So, of course, I went to the building manager and learned that there were several occasions when you utilized a visitor parking space. Now, naturally, they did not disclose the vehicle information of the visitor, so I wasn't able to learn the identity of the person, but it started me to thinking. If you had a girl, why weren't you bringing her home to us, knowing how much your Mother has been nagging you over the last few years to do just that?"

Ryousuke knew he'd better shut up and listen now; he had to know to what conclusion his Father had actually arrived. Maybe he'd get lucky and he could get away with agreeing that he'd simply found a girl that was not "of appropriate station" or some bullshit, and that he could promise to break up with her, and that would be the end of this and he could bargain anew about leaving. It was possible, but he had the sinking feeling that the reality was dreadfully worse. If his Father did think he had a male lover...perhaps he could barely play it off as experimentation even at his age, and claim it meant nothing and end it with a promise to never do it again, that this was the only time, et cetera, et cetera…

"So as I was thinking about what your possible reasons could be," the Doctor continued, "I settled on the fact that you probably thought the girl you were interested in would not be met with approval, and that you were just having a last fling before marriage. I got that. You're still young, why not play the field as long as you are careful not to create a problem."

'Like a baby,' Ryousuke thought ruefully. That definitely fell in line with one of his Father's earlier statements about a "clean lineage". There certainly would be no room for any bastard children in the family, that was for certain. It was only by some miracle from above and what he supposed had to have been a perfectly executed vasectomy that he didn't have several half-siblings of varying ages all over the fucking city by now. Or, maybe he did and their silence had been bought in a legal settlement. Okay. Maybe this was about getting a girl pregnant after all. Unfortunately he wasn't sure, so he had to keep listening to what was definitely going to be a lengthy lecture. Fine. He deserved that; he'd given his Father a lecture of his own earlier, and he supposed that the man could take no more and was now in full payback mode.

"And, I thought further, if it was a University girl, how bad could she really be? If she was serious about her studies, though, I figured that perhaps you might think we'd not allow her to continue a career after marriage, and perhaps you did not want to limit your spouse as I had chosen to limit mine. I got that too. This is the 90's and not the 70's, and more and more people in society are becoming more accepting of a dual-income household, and, what with the economy being as it is now, I thought perhaps you wanted to ensure that we would make no such demand of a daughter-in-law to forego a career before bringing her home to meet us. Which, incidentally, your Mother and I both agreed we wouldn't restrict a daughter-in-law from working if she so desired. So I waited a couple of more weeks for _that_ conversation, but it never came."

God. Did his Father really have enough time in his busy schedule to be so fucking concerned about his love life? He supposed that it was possible; he _was_ the heir. He was supposed to produce the next heir. Naturally, his love life would be of some concern, but usually that was Mother's department, and his Father didn't ever really push it. Ryousuke always assumed that was out of probable relief that there appeared to be no chance of a "happy accident" on the near horizon.

"Father, I-"

"You are _done_ speaking."

"Yes, Sir."

"So if it wasn't a girl of ill-repute, and it wasn't a University girl you wanted to ensure had her own independence even after marriage, what kind of girl could this be? I even thought, maybe she's still in high school and you were waiting for her to graduate, or something like that. But then I recalled an event from several years ago that I had long forgotten. Would you care to know what that event was?"

Ryousuke remained silent. After all, his Father had just told him he was "done speaking".

"I'll enlighten you, then," the man said quietly, moving closer to him to settle on the very edge of the boundary of what could be considered to be his personal space.

"Some years ago while you were an undergraduate, I had occasion to dine with one of your Professors, purely by coincidence. I had no idea you were actually in his class, but, so you were. Naturally, I asked how you were faring with your studies."

'What Professor was this?' Ryousuke tried to mentally ascertain. Of course, his Father knew several of the Professors from the Medical School, but, with undergrad, it could have been any of his core subjects. He wasn't aware that his Father really knew any of them. 'Damn.'

"Of course, he flattered me by saying that you were very diligent in your studies, but that you appeared to be very reserved among your peer group. Again, that was more than fine. You were always a serious child, and, even though you had started racing in that car of yours, you were participating in sanctioned races and you were very successful. I chalked it up as that was your method of release of stress: your car. I allowed you that.

"After a few more ochoko of sake, though, your Professor revealed to me that you did have one particular friend that he would often see you with around campus. Again, I thought it might have been Fumihiro's boy Hiroshi, so I thought nothing of it."

'Oh shit.'

"So I asked him to describe your friend, and, by his description, I knew that it was likely not Hiroshi-kun. I asked him if he knew the boy, and he said he did not, but he thought he might be a year or two ahead of you, a Senpai."

'Was he talking about…Houjou Rin? Possibly. Or maybe...oh God...Michio?' If this was about Michio, this situation just became way worse than Ryousuke had anticipated. So much worse.

"Since you were never one to have many friends, I was curious to know who your new friend was, so I started asking around to some other people I knew at the University. Finally, I did find out who the boy was. I was satisfied, and went on with my life."

"Father-"

"Shut _up_!"

He shut up.

"A few weeks later, however, I received a couple of separate yet very unexpected phone calls from a couple of my acquaintances at the University. I suppose that after I had started ringing them up asking questions about you, they continued to take notice of you for a time afterward. Imagine my _shock_ to hear a rumor that you had been seen leaving a certain...establishment near the campus with your Senpai."

' _Shit!'_

"Not only that, but your _flashy car_ had also been seen from time to time at certain _impolite_ hours of the evening at a modest apartment complex off-campus."

"Father I can expl-"

"I just told you to shut up; I am _talking_ , so you _shut the hell up_!" the man yelled, closing the gap and now firmly planting himself far enough into Ryousuke's personal space that he could see the fury in his Father's eyes from behind his glasses as they looked upon him with utter disdain and anger. He stood his ground though, and decided that if this was it, then this was it. He was a grown man himself now and not a child. He'd at least look his Father in the eye and not back down.

"So I went to that apartment," the Doctor continued, his voice now barely above a whisper. "Now, I have to hand it to your...friend...he denied everything admirably, and, of course, rumors are not proof. You had a lot of plausible deniability going on for yourself, so I wasn't 100% certain that the boy was lying to me. But, I made it _very clear_ to him that you were to be 'friends' no longer, and that it would be in his very best interest to transfer to another University immediately. Of course, I paid for him to do that and paid him a hell of a lot more to never contact you again."

'Oh God...that _was_ Michio...no wonder he left without a word...my asshole father fucking paid him off to leave...how could I have not realized that?!" But, he had been only nineteen years old; Michio-senpai had been his first intimate lover, and Ryousuke, at the time, was still so unsure and cautious, and half-not-believing in his own persuasions. Michio had been so patient with him, sharing his own experiences, a near mirror to what he tried to do with Takumi when he questioned himself...and then, one day, his apartment was empty and he was just gone. Ryousuke had tried to track him down, but he learned that he had transferred to a small college in Osaka. At the time, he was distressed, but he managed to get over it and left it behind as a bad breakup experience, and, awhile afterward, he'd started talking to Houjou and Kaori. Now he knew that things were so much worse than that bad break up after all. But why hadn't he been chastised by his Father back then? It made no sense because, five years hence, his Father was certainly doing his best to chastise him now.

"You're probably wondering why I never punished you for that. Well, as I said, I had no real proof. But since I had become aware of it, I made sure that I paid attention for a while after that should any such similar rumor reach my ears. After about a year of trying to see if there had been any other 'friends', I was satisfied that there hadn't been because I had people looking for it. So I set it aside as a youthful indiscretion of adolescent experimentation. That analysis was medically and psychologically appropriate anyway, so I decided I needn't scold you since you were doing quite well in all other aspects of your University life."

Great.

"And, gradually, I forgot about it all together until these last couple of months when your Mother mentioned that she thought you might be seeing someone due to your absences from home. I soon realized that there _was_ 'someone', someone you were not intending for your Mother and I to meet. When no girl was brought home after all the scenarios I outlined before were exhausted, I began to remember about that old rumor and I wondered if I really had a _much_ bigger problem than I had anticipated."

'Shit. Here it comes.'

"So, my _Son_ , do I have a bigger problem?"

The mental alarm bells were pealing away madly in Ryousuke's brain, shouting at him to fucking speak and tell his Father "Of course not!" and "Go to hell!" and "How could you think that?!", but he couldn't find his voice.

" _Why aren't you on your knees denying this?!_ " his Father roared, now barely a foot away from him and boring into his very skull with his furious glare.

"Father, I-"

Before he knew what was happening, his Father raised his hand and slapped him hard across the face so that his neck cracked and his whole face stung. Instinctively, he raised his hand to soothe the pain blooming in his cheek only to have his angry Father bat it away roughly back down to his side.

" _I demand that you deny this!"_

Ryousuke looked the man in the eye with as much determination as he could muster. "I will not outright lie to my Father."

Another stinging slap. God it hurt. It _hurt_!

"Do not _move_ from that spot!" his Father ordered. He stepped back a bit, reached for another cigarette, and returned to the kitchen for more liquor. Ryousuke dared not follow him with his gaze; he stood staring straight ahead at that bland painting on the wall.

"You know," his Father began quietly as he poured, foregoing the ice cubes this time and taking the Whiskey straight up like a shot, "I thought my biggest fear of this type would be that you or your brother would hook up with one of those sluts who came to watch you race on the mountain road, and we'd be paying off a gold digger who got herself knocked up. But, that never happened."

He poured again, and drank again. God, his Father was really tying one on; this had gone way past what Ryousuke had assumed was his normal nightcap of two or four fingers of Whiskey on the rocks. He guessed he could only blame himself for that. Fine. Let him drink if it means he stops lecturing.

"Never in my _wildest dreams_ did I consider _this_ ," he spat, lighting up the cigarette and exhaling pointedly in his son's direction, a motion Ryousuke could detect out of the corner of his eye as he studied the boring artwork. "Especially from my _eldest._ "

Ryousuke continued to stare at the painting on the wall wondering how on earth the artist could have discovered so many gradients of beige in one piece. He was utterly and completely defeated this time. He knew he was getting on that plane in about three weeks. He knew he was going to miss Takumi's signing. He knew he was going to have to end his relationship with Takumi immediately and he didn't know how the hell he was going to bring himself to do it, because he didn't fucking want to.

"Honestly, Ryousuke, don't you understand how risky that lifestyle is? You're studying to be a goddamn doctor for God's sake. Think of your Mother. What do you think would happen to her mental state should she ever discover that her pride and joy had this type of sick _perversion_?"

'And now, stereotypes and the guilt trip,' Ryousuke thought angrily to himself. He had been wondering when those would appear. He had not been given permission to speak and no demands for him to speak had been made either, so he kept quiet, hoping beyond hope that his Father would just tire of lecturing him and throw him out already.

"Just how long have you been doing this behind our backs?" His Father had now asked him a direct question. He turned to face the man in the kitchen, knowing that he would be reprimanded again should he not look at him when speaking to him.

"Not often, but a while." It wasn't a lie.

His Father stubbed out his cigarette in the sink and returned to the living room to stand in front of him again.

"Do you think that is an acceptable answer?" he challenged.

"It's a truthful one."

"This is just fucking _great_ ," the Doctor spat. "I just found out my eldest son is a fucking _faggot._ "

The next sensation Ryousuke felt was another stinging slap to his face, one that had a _lot_ more force than the first couple, thanks to the Whiskey fuel his Father had consumed, even though the epithet the man expressed was far worse to bear.

"And you are not making one goddamn move to _beg_ for my forgiveness for this disgusting behavior! And you had the nerve to wonder why I needed to change your plans, well, Ryousuke, this is why. I will not be _scandalized_ in this manner!"

This time, it was the back of his hand, his forearm really, right to his jaw. He wondered for a half-second if it had been broken, but he realized that it was only a split lip, but he thought he could feel a bruise undulating within his nerves already. God, he hoped it wouldn't turn out to look as bad as it felt; how in the hell was he supposed to explain that to the Illustrious Ishikawa Family on Sunday? Or his Mother? It fucking hurt! This is what poor Keisuke had endured for most of his life; Ryousuke knew it had been bad, and he knew Keisuke didn't deserve it, but, dear God, he was so tough! Ryousuke was barely holding tears back from the pain and Keisuke never wavered from standing his ground as he took one punch after another, punches way more severe than this and so many times besides. So many times…

"Aren't you even going to fight back? Even your asshole brother got a few worthy swings in. I know you want to. I fucking dare you to try."

"I will not hit my Father," he eked out.

"Then I guess you really are a _pansy_."

Another slur and another hard punch, this time to the gut which caused him to double over and sparks to fly before his eyes and a ragged cough to escape from him. There would definitely be a bruise there, just had there had been when he would do his most damage to Keisuke in places that would never be seen. The next thing he knew, he was being grabbed up by the shoulders and shook roughly, the Whiskey scented breath all over his face and the soft light of the room reflecting off the glasses making it hard for him to focus enough to look his Father in the eye anymore.

"Now you listen to me and you listen to me _good_ ," the man seethed, his grip so tight about his shoulders that Ryousuke knew there would be bruising there too. "Here is a list of what you can expect your future to look like. _Before_ the sun comes up tomorrow, you will get _rid_ of this _lover_ you are seeing. You will not be permitted to leave my house except for classes and work. No _racing related anything!_ You will get on that plane when I tell you to get on it. You will perform _outstandingly_ at this backwater medical school and put everyone else in their place. You will come home, and you will be married to whomever your Mother and I choose for you, and you better hope you can at least _get it up_ enough for her to make yourself a decent heir, and you better give her every goddamn thing she ever asks for so she doesn't fucking figure out that her husband is fucking _gay._ You will not do your residency _anywhere else_ but in _my_ hospital where I can watch _every move you make,_ and I will expect nothing less than _perfection_! If I have to assign a fucking security detail on you, I will do it so don't think I won't!"

"Yes, Sir," he whispered, taking another slap to the face and another punch to the gut. This was definitely one of his worst nightmares come true. This reaction was the whole fucking reason he never said anything about anything in the first place, although he never thought his Father would actually hit him. Yell at him, yes. Berate him, yes. Make his life even more miserable, yes. But actually _hit_ him when he never had before? He hadn't thought it possible after he spent his whole goddamn life living up to the man's unrealistic expectations. If only he had known about how his Father "handled" his first lover, he would have been even more careful. Although it didn't appear that the man knew Takumi's identity, it was clear that it wouldn't take much for him to find out. All he could do now was pray to God that his Father would not ask for his cellphone. Since the man was not a huge fan of them, he hoped that his rage would cause it to slip is mind, at least until the next day when he could buy another phone, transfer all of the data to it, and give him the original wiped clean but for a few strategically placed contacts. His Father had essentially placed him under house arrest like some kind of criminal.

No more negotiations were possible now. Time was officially up.

"I am going to do you one last _huge_ favor, Ryousuke. I will not tell your Mother about this. But know that I am doing it for _her_ sake and not _yours_. So you better make _nice_ on Sunday for her."

"Understood."

"Consider this to be your last night to do whatever you have to do to make this _affair_ disappear. And don't worry, I barely even touched you, so you won't have any bruising on your face to explain come Sunday."

That's what this man calls "barely"?! God, how could Keisuke take the full brunt all those years? His thoughts of what Keisuke had endured were helping him to get through this, the realization of just how strong his brother was helped to dissipate the pain. He focused on Keisuke. His treasure. The Blessing. Let it go in one ear and out the other. That's what Keisuke had always done, even as their Father shook him while lecturing and yelling just as he was doing to him now...

"It is only for that reason that I didn't hit you more because you _certainly_ deserve it, and if I _ever_ find out that you _ever_ have occasion to take a male lover again, your punishment will be twenty times more severe and I don't care how old you are because until you are sitting in my office, _I fucking own you_! Now _get out_!" he shouted, releasing him with a shove.

"Yes, Sir," he managed to say as the rough hands left his upper arms. "Thank you for not telling my Mother."

With that, he turned on his heel and walked out the door into the early October chill. Once he got to the FC, he took out his phone to text Takumi.

"Sorry I didn't text earlier. Something came up and I was detained. Can we meet tomorrow?" Send.

He opened the trunk of the FC and reached toward the back of it to get out his first aid kit. He opened the small box and took out an ice pack and smacked it between his hands to activate the chemical cooling agent. He didn't quite believe that his Father said the hit to his jaw wouldn't leave a bruise, so icing it was a must since he didn't want his Mother to ask questions.

Once the cool relief hit his face, the pain started to register in his upper arms and, especially, his abdomen, and in the sting of his split lip that was accompanied by the iron-laced vestigial taste of blood in his mouth. He closed the trunk, got into the car and started it up to get warm. He was not calling Keisuke; his brother didn't need to see him like this, even over the phone where sight was irrelevant. Keisuke would know by the sound of his voice; of that, Ryousuke was certain.

It was all over now. All of it. Racing. Secrets. Lovers. All fucking over.

Beep. "Okay. Is everything all right? ~Taku"

No, everything was not all right. Everything was wrong.

"Don't worry about anything. Text me when you get up tomorrow. Sleep well, Lover." Send.

Even though he was breaking his plan to tell him as soon as he learned his Father's decision, there was no way he was doing this over a text and there was no way he was going to go to Takumi tonight and tell him tonight. There was no way he was going to tell him that text was probably the last time he'd call Takumi "Lover".

Tonight he was going to go back to his Father's home to sit there in that empty house and drink until everything didn't hurt anymore.


	44. Chapter 44

Zenny's Restaurant, Saitama, Thursday, 8:00 PM

Iwase Kyouko studied her dinner date as plates were cleared by their waitress and as they sipped their soft drinks. Normally, sharing a meal with her Darling was fun, exciting, and full of relaxed energy, but, tonight, Darling was different.

Ever since challenging him at the fan meet-and-greet in Tokyo where she had been dazzled by him all over again, her life had finally felt complete. He actually called. He actually wanted to see her. He actually wanted to _date_ her, even though she wasn't gorgeous, wasn't rich, and even though she didn't win their battle together those several months ago.

She loved him from the moment he told her where to find her lost cell phone and drove away before she had realized he was gone.

She loved him from the second she discovered that he was to have been her opponent in the battle.

She loved him the instant she told Nobuhiko that she couldn't race according to his carefully constructed plans to beat Project D, choosing to lead rather than chase after that very same opponent helped her to fix her car before the race. Even though she knew that chasing was more advantageous, she didn't care because it was Darling who would be watching her drive; for those moments in the battle, she would be all that Darling was concerned about or thinking about. She would be the only thing he was watching, because, in a battle on the togue, a driver couldn't afford to look away.

She wanted to show Darling exactly who she was, and she did it. She pulled him along until one tap to the rear of her FD caused her to disrupt her rhythm and plunged her into the worst boost-lag she ever experienced.

When he pulled ahead of her, she didn't want to let him go. She didn't want to fade from the back mirror of that yellow FD.

So she kept appearing, even though Darling never spoke to her and had only looked at her with such intensity before abruptly speeding away in the FD that shined like the sun in the darkness of the togue.

But one time, he did speak to her, even after she had embarrassed herself by leaning over that sunny FD, just wanting to touch some part of that untouchable man not realizing he was in the car and had seen her do it; he didn't chide her, he didn't tease her, but he spoke to her and he smiled and invited her out to eat. They talked and ate at a family restaurant, even though all the guys from her team had warned her that he was wealthy and unattainable. That unattainable guy ended up eating a regular hamburger steak and sipping a coke across from her, and it didn't seem like it mattered to him that he was supposed to be a wealthy elite at all. He fell asleep in her car so peacefully afterward that her only desire was to drive as gently and as smoothly as possible so he wouldn't wake. After they parked where he had left his own car by the road, she had dozed a little too, carried away by the soft breaths emanating from the navi-seat until he awoke and, with a start, worried about the time but thanking her because he had never been able to sleep as well on his journeys with Project D as he had in the passenger seat of her car.

She kept following that sunshine, and when Darling needed her, she was overjoyed to help him by loaning her FD to him so he could keep winning.

He won with _her_ car; her one special treasure driving her other special treasure to victory. When he returned her keys, it was all she could do to keep her hands steady as his fingers brushed hers while he thanked her and told her she had a good car.

She had helped Darling to win.

When he rolled up to the train station to take her out in a white FC, she felt her heart flutter; even in the daytime, Darling was as bright as to rival the sun.

He invited her to Tokyo, to wherever she wanted to go, but seemed just as content with staying in Gunma after all, and it was a wonderful date to the fanciest restaurant she'd ever been to. He told her so many private things about himself, about how special his Onii-san and that white FC were to him, and she knew that Darling would be the one man she would love for the rest of her life.

And then, it wasn't wonderful after that.

An eclipse passed over the sun that night as he told her not to come and watch him anymore. As he decided for her that she wouldn't be able to cope with his split attention forever. As he watched her standing in the parking lot while she cried and desperately tried to collect herself to ask him to show her one final drive in that white FC down the Akagi pass.

After that, Darling went further and further away; she couldn't afford to follow Project D anymore on their trips. But she could afford her internet connection, and watched him through the website his Onii-san ran. Week after week, he kept winning against drivers Nobuhiko had told her were some of the best in Japan while reminding her that she had done her best and that she should always be proud to say she raced such a talented driver even once. Nobuhiko didn't understand; she already knew that he was a driver of an entirely different level, that last drive in the FC down Akagi told her that with every tear that fell upon her cheeks as she watched him work the pedals and the gearbox. He focused on the drive and not her tears. Nobuhiko could never understand Darling, but she understood everything from that drive in his precious Aniki's car.

Darling would do everything to keep winning for himself and for his Onii-san, even if he had to break her heart.

So when the website's homepage appeared with something new and different one morning, she read the tagline "Be There to Witness the Dream". It was an open invitation for anyone to watch, and she wondered if she could be there to bask in Darling's sunshine one final time before he would be so far away that even his memory of her would disappear.

He'd hurt her so deeply, but she understood him too. That was why it was so hard; she understood all too well the focus that was needed to do what he was doing, to race and win against elite drivers across many prefectures. She wanted her Darling to never lose a race.

So she took the train to Tokyo with Nobuhiko and his cousin Wataru, just hoping to land a spot in the gallery to see him one more time before telling her Darling goodbye forever, if only in her own thoughts.

When the yellow FD passed them by with such dizzying speed, she fell in love all over again. Maybe she shouldn't have come, but she decided that this was her last chance to be near to him. Even though she hadn't planned to try to see him or to talk to him, it suddenly became the most urgent thing in the world to do just that.

At the fan meet-and-greet, even though Nobuhiko told her she'd never be able to get to the front of the crowd, and even though Wataru was more interested in Darling's teammate, she pushed through the throng and made it to the front just as it looked as though they were about to wrap up that portion of the event.

Before she knew it, she heard words fly out of her mouth to challenge Darling to give her just one more chance to prove to him she understood him; even though she spoke to him amidst all the screams and movement of their many fans, he heard her. She knew Darling heard her and she didn't care that his teammate or his Onii-san did as well, because once it was said, everything else in the world faded away and it was only her and Darling, just as it had been when they had battled on the togue.

She didn't wait for him to respond; the look of shock on his face suddenly became more than she could handle and she dove back into the crowd and right into Nobuhiko's comforting and friendly embrace. "Did you do what you needed to do?" he asked her softly as she cried into his chest.

"Yes…"

"Good for you, Kyouko. Good for you."

She held on to Nobuhiko even as he waved his cousin off so he could go on ahead to catch their train, as he chose to walk slowly with her away from the screams of adoring fans and the pulsing beat of the energetic music, and of the sounds of the FD and the hachi-roku as the superstars of the togue left the event for parts unknown.

"We should hurry," she recalled saying as she finally pulled herself together enough to walk without being dragged along by her team leader. "The train will-"

"There are plenty of trains, Kyouko," Nobuhiko had said, "but there's only one Darling, right?"

It was at that moment she realized that she had been breaking Nobuhiko's heart all that time. "I'm sorry, Nobuhiko...I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. I...only want you to be happy…"

And, over the last couple of months, she was. Oh, how happy she was; Darling always treated her like a queen, but never with pretenses or shows of put-on politeness. He was rough around the edges, but he could be as soft on the inside as the most comforting down blanket on a cold winter day. He showed that to her every time they met; she was the only one he looked at when they were together, no matter how many other women looked at him wherever they went.

But, tonight, something _was_ distracting her Darling. He fiddled with his phone all through dinner and he was looking out the window as he sipped his soda. He'd barely said a word for most of their date, and didn't ask her why she wasn't talking either. It was unlike him; even when they joined his Onii-san and his teammate Takumi-kun sometimes, they all chatted together as a foursome, but Darling always made sure she knew that she was with _him_. He was so attentive, not even letting her glass get close to empty before ordering her a drink, not missing a beat to help her on with her sweater or coat or to pull out her chair, the perfect gentleman in her eyes despite the colorful language he liked to use.

Was Darling growing tired of her already? No. Her instinct told her it was something else entirely. Maybe she could help him again and show him that she was reliable too.

"Darling…"

His attention immediately came back to her with a worried look on his face which turned into a frown. "I'm sorry, Koko, I didn't mean to space out. Do you want dessert?"

She shook her head in the negative with a smile toward the nickname that only _he_ used for her; and he never objected to being called "Darling" either. If he was embarrassed by it, he never said. "No, but I'm wondering if you are feeling all right. You've been very quiet…"

Darling reached for her hands and clasped them together with his own. "I shouldn't be like this when I'm with you. I've just got a lot of shit rolling around in my brain tonight. Forgive me. Do you want to start our date over? Maybe we can catch a late movie?"

"No, that's okay; I'm just not used to seeing you like this. Is there something wrong? Are you worried about your signing? I'm here for you, and, if there's anything you need from me, I'll help."

Darling squeezed her hands before releasing them and his real smile appeared for the first time since they had sat down to dinner. "You always help, just by being here and putting up with me."

Kyouko felt her cheeks grow warm in front of that sunny smile for a moment until she noticed that there was still worry in his penetrating eyes. "Talk to me, Darling...you're smiling at me, but you're eyes tell me that you are worried about something else, right? Please, confide in me..."

Darling reclined in his seat and looked up toward the ceiling after finishing his last sip of soda. "It's family bullshit. Don't worry about it, Babe."

Before she knew it, a little relieved sigh escaped when she learned that he wasn't having second thoughts about her. Darling snapped his attention to the sound. "Did you think this was about us?" he asked seriously.

"Well...I, uh...wasn't sure…"

"Shit. I'm sorry and it's _definitely_ not. Let's get out of here and go for a drive, okay? I'll make it up to you."

"Okay," she said, a smile returning to her lips. As long as he wanted to stay with her, they could drive around the parking lot in circles for all she cared. Whatever was bothering him, she'd try to make it better, even though it didn't look like he was about to let her in on any of his "family bullshit" just yet. That was fine, wasn't it? They had been seeing each other for only a couple of months, and, from what she had gathered, Darling still did not get along well with his parents. His Onii-san was the only family member she had met so far, and she wasn't really sure if she would ever be introduced to anyone else, especially his parents. Onii-san was a little intimidating at first too, but, once she got to know him a little bit, he was very polite and kind to her, with a sort of dry sense of humor, and he was still a street racer even though she knew from Darling that he was studying to become a doctor. She could tell how much he cared about both of his drivers; he reminded her of Nobuhiko that way.

Darling left money on the table for their meal and came around and helped her with her coat, planting a quick, soft kiss upon her cheek. "I don't deserve you," he whispered into her ear. "Don't let me be a jerk. I expect you to slap me if I act like this again."

She turned to face him, and the disarming smile was back, as bright as the sun. "Can we go to Shomaru pass?"

"You read my mind," Darling replied with a wink. "That must be the shittiest road in all of Saitama. I love it."

She smiled back and nodded as they turned to walk out the door. He opened the passenger door to the yellow FD for her and made sure she was settled with her seatbelt on before he closed it gently. As she watched him walk around the front of the car, however, she saw him check his phone again and smack it roughly with his other hand before checking it another time.

When he got into the car and strapped in, he put the phone on the dashboard while he untangled the charging cord from the rearview mirror. "Is something wrong with your phone? You've been messing with it all night…"

"Nah, I don't think anything's wrong with it. I'm just making sure I charge it."

"Are you waiting for a call?" she ventured to ask.

Darling didn't say anything.

"If you are, why not just call the person yourself if it's important? I don't mind."

"...He told me he would call. He will." Kyouko heard the words, but the voice that spoke them, however, did not sound confident in the truth of them. There was tension in Darling's body as well, similar to when he drove her all out in the FC, yet, not the same. She wondered if "he" was Onii-san, or maybe Takumi-kun. Or, given the seriousness of his mood, perhaps it might be his father. She didn't know.

He put the car in gear and they were on the way to Shomaru pass, the sound of the radio playing some kind of rock-rap song and of the twin turbo under the hood the accompaniment to their companionable but uneasy silence. "There was another wreck up here last weekend," she remarked to encourage Darling to forget his troubles for awhile. "The guys were telling me about it; someone in a GTR under-steered pretty badly and crashed, so there are some guardrails missing now. Not that the guardrails were worth anything here before; they were so rusted out and old."

"Oh yeah? Stupid GTRs," Darling responded with an irritated noise. "If you can't handle a tank, don't friggin' drive a tank."

Kyouko giggled a little. "They are kind of heavy, aren't they?"

"And ugly. Don't forget how ugly they are," the blonde driver returned playfully, squeezing her knee before the next shift-up. "But they are a _menace_ when a good driver gets ahold of one, though," he added seriously.

"I can imagine; I don't think I've ever battled against a seriously good GTR driver…"

"Have you ever battled Nakazato from the Myougi Night Kids? He still drives that black R32."

"No, they have never challenged us."

"He's decent, but he tends to get rattled under pressure. You could take him."

"Do you really think so?" she asked hopefully.

"I _know_ so. You're a driver who drives with a very placid rhythm, and you use your car's power without making rash moves to maintain that rhythm. He'd get pissed off by getting pulled along. He'd push you too soon and you'd recover faster than he would be able to overtake you, especially on a shitty Saitama road. If you ever battle him, you should lead."

Kyouko thought about that for a moment as they neared the base of the Shomaru togue to prepare for the climb. It was still relatively early, so Darling wouldn't be able to go all out, but it would still be great to see him drive the tricky course anyway. "Nobuhiko would usually recommend for me to chase," she offered, "but sometimes I need to do what I want and lead anyway."

Darling navigated the first few corners easily. "Is that what happened that night?"

She knew he was talking about their battle, something they really hadn't talked much about specifically. "Yes. He wanted me to chase you...he said you were having problems with your car's adjustments for the road…"

Darling chuckled. "I guess every team has to have a brainiac," he replied in a sort of snarky tone. "That road was pissing me off. Every time we went for a practice run and the rear of the car scraped the pavement, I was like ' _fuck!'"_

Kyouko giggled again.

"Ah!" he said with a "Tch" and laughing, "Shit. I mean, _shoot_ , God, I really need to watch my mouth. Sorry I swear a lot, Babe."

"It's all right," Kyouko said lightly. "This is who you are. Don't ever change it, Darling."

Keisuke smiled again, and found a tenth of a second before another shift-up to squeeze her knee again. "Sometimes I think you're not even real."

"W-why?"

"I don't know. I said before that you were, I don't know, pure or something. I'm not good at explaining things. I guess it's because you don't have any of those fake-overreactions to my potty mouth, or you don't care how I look or sound, or that you're not one of those chicks who go out with me on the off chance my brother would pay attention to you. All of that has happened before. I guess that's why I never stopped thinking about you ever since we battled…"

"R-really…?"

"Yeah. If you had followed your leader's advice and chased, I don't think I would have won. He was right; I couldn't get the settings right for shit that whole time. What the hell is up with Saitama? Is this where all the bad roads in Japan come to friggin' die?"

Kyouko laughed lightly again. This was the Darling she loved; he seemed to be putting aside whatever was bothering him as he navigated the uphill at only slightly above what was legal due to the earlyish hour. "Maybe so, but I still think you would have won, and I'd still be happy now all the same. Oh, the missing guardrail is coming up."

"OK. I got it." When they came to the segment of the road where the derelict guardrail had once stood, Keisuke whistled toward the sight of the deep gouges in the road the GTR had made in an attempt to stop its momentum. "Damn. Dude fucked up."

"Yes. He fucked up," Kyouko playfully supplied, expecting maybe one of those fake-astonished looks to appear on Darling's face toward such unladylike words. Instead he just laughed and shook his head. Then, his face grew serious.

"Thanks for being _real_."

Her face heated with what she knew was a blush as she considered his statement. Over the course of their dates, her love for the younger Rotary Brother only grew. She couldn't believe what Darling had said, that girls would go out with him because they wanted Onii-san to look at them. Awful. Onii-san was nice, and, she supposed he was attractive, but _Darling_ was pretty much drop-dead gorgeous. Pulling herself together a little, she wanted to say something to him so that he would be sure to understand that he was the only one she ever wanted to look at.

"This is me and this is you. There's no need for us to be anything else, Darling."

As they reached the summit, Keisuke pulled over to the side of the road, pulled the e-brake and flipped on the hazard lights. He turned to face her with that intense stare that always excited and intimidated her. "You know I will be traveling a lot soon."

"I know."

"I'll be gone for weeks sometimes, I think."

She nodded. "I'll be here."

"Someday...maybe...you could just come with me on some of those trips…"

The joy that welled up from within her heart overflowed with happy tears in her eyes. "Only...if I'm not a distraction to you…," she whispered.

"No," Darling said softly but seriously, "Having you there...would be a relief for me…"

All she could do is nod and smile as he gently placed a palm to the side of her face, wiping away her tears with his thumb and smiling from ear to ear. "Why do I always make my girlfriend cry? I'm such a dumbass."

Girlfriend.

 _His girlfriend_.

The word played over and over in her ears and mind; this was the first time he had said that, and she looked into those intense eyes to confirm the truth of the statement. It was there. It was.

He leaned over and placed his mouth upon her trembling lips, tightening his grip on the side of her face slightly to encourage her to lean into his kiss. As he gently parted her lips with his tongue, the warmth of his sunshine filled her body and heart.

When they parted, Darling had that serious and worried look on his face again. "Kyouko, are you sure you want to be with me?"

There wasn't a nickname used this time, so she knew she had to pay extra attention to her response. Was he finally going to tell her what had been bothering him all night? God, she hoped so, because all she wanted to do was support her Darling through the worst and the best. She hoped beyond hope that he understood her feelings.

"I only want to be with Takahashi Keisuke, for as long as he is Takahashi Keisuke."

A light rain started to dot the windshield of the car, but the warmth inside of the sunny FD blocked out the early October chill. Keisuke looked at her again with those intensely serious eyes, as if deciding something. "Aniki was supposed to call me tonight," he said evenly, "He hasn't, and I'm worried about it."

So it was about Onii-san after all. "Can you call him?"

"I don't know. I want to, but I don't know if he'll be able to pick up, or if he'll just get mad because I got impatient waiting for him to call me."

"Is Onii-san working at the hospital tonight?"

Darling shook his head in the negative and his expression darkened. "No. He was going out to talk with our Father tonight."

Kyouko didn't understand. She knew that Darling did not get along with his parents, but she hadn't realized that Onii-san didn't either. "Do either of you get along with your parents?" she asked hesitantly.

"Aniki does whatever they ask of him, and mostly without complaint. He does love our Mother, but our Father, well, it's more of a business arrangement with that Asshole now that we're grown. It pisses me off what they make him go through. But, something happened, and he didn't like it, so he was going to try and get our Old Man to change his mind about it."

"Oh. What happened?"

Keisuke looked at her hard. "Are you sure you want to get into this crap? It's family stuff...I didn't really want you to be all that familiar with the way our family operates."

Kyouko put her hands on Keisuke's now-clenched fists. "You don't have to tell me," she began, "but if what happened to Onii-san is bothering you this much, then I want to be able to help you through it. Maybe you can text him?"

Darling considered for a few seconds before he reached for his phone. He tapped a few things on the screen of it and hit "send" before putting it back on the dash.

"Feel better?"

"No."

"What time was he supposed to call? Maybe his conversation with your Father went longer than he expected."

Darling looked directly into her eyes again. "That's exactly what I'm worried about."

"W-why?" Kyouko stammered, seeing something else looming within his stare. It looked like anger.

"My Old Man has a temper. A bad one. He's never let loose with my brother but Ryousuke never gave him reason to I guess. I could always take it, and dish out a little myself, but...Aniki...I just had a bad feeling about him going there, and that was a couple hours ago."

"Call him," she said seriously. "Please, call him."

Seeing a look of relief wash over Darling's face, he grabbed his phone urgently from the dashboard and pressed the screen again before putting the phone up to his ear.

"Fuck. Voicemail," he spat after a few seconds, slamming the phone back down.

"Try again," Kyouko said.

He looked at her again and picked up the phone and repeated the pressing on the screen. Seconds later he dropped the phone in the console between the seats. "Something's wrong. I feel it."

"Then start driving."

"I need to take you home first-"

"No. I'll call and say I'll be late. I see how worried you are. If you want, I can keep trying his number while you drive."

"You'd do that?" he whispered.

"Let me call my mom. Start driving, Darling."

After a quick phone call to her mother to say she might not be home until very late, or maybe not at all, and after a quick reassurance that she was safe, she closed the call.

"Your Mom okay with you staying out?"

"She's happy I want to stay out with something other than just my FD, I think. She knows that I wouldn't do this without a good reason, and she doesn't pry since I pay my own way at home now."

"Oh...really?"

"Now, which number is it?" Kyouko asked, picking up Darling's phone. It was a lot newer and nicer than the one she owned. "I mean, how do I even work this thing?"

Her boyfriend laughed a little. "Hit the button in the middle and tap 4425. That's the unlock code. Then press the screen for recents and start dialing like crazy until that bastard picks up….uh...please."

Once they arrived at the base of the togue, Darling picked up his pace a bit more on the roads heading to the freeway. She dialed Onii-san's number and it went to voicemail again; she recognized the voice of the outgoing message, so she knew she had the right number. She pressed the screen to end the call and immediately redialed.

As she did, Darling entered the freeway and the more she dialed, the more he sped up. "Darling, not too fast…we don't want to get pulled over."

"Yeah," he agreed but he kept the pace anyway. They traveled in silence this way for another half-hour, and Kyouko kept calling every few minutes and Onii-san was not picking up or calling back.

"It's going to voicemail without ringing now," she said after a few more attempts.

"Okay. That means he's just ignoring me. He'd have to actually turn the phone off for it to do that."

Kyouko studied him. "You look almost relieved."

"Yeah. It means he's not hurt that bad, so that's good."

"Hurt?!" she exclaimed with renewed alarm. "Darling, did you think your Father would hurt him physically that badly? What could Onii-san have done?"

Keisuke signaled to change lanes to move to the fast lane, blowing past everyone on the road. He was silent.

"What could Onii-san have done?" she repeated at length.

"Disobey," he said simply.

Kyouko was shocked. "W-what do you mean?"

"That's all it takes."

She sat back into the passenger seat, thoughts reeling. She knew from some of the things Darling had told her that he used to get into what he called "physical fights" with his father over his rebellious behavior, but what she was hearing now sounded more like straight up abuse. "When you said you used to get into fights with your dad...you didn't start them. Did you." It was a declaration more than a question.

"Sometimes I did."

"Keisuke…"

"Not when I was a kid, though."

Kyouko willed herself to stay still and not cry. She had to be strong now. What kind of person was Darling's Father, and did the man not care that his boys were grown? "So you think…"

"I think he may have done something to Aniki this time. If he did…" his voice trailed off.

"Let's find out from Onii-san...don't jump to conclusions…"

"It's not a far jump," he replied flatly, signaling to change lanes again as they approached the city limits of Takasaki. Shortly thereafter, he exited the freeway and Kyouko looked out the window. There weren't too many streetlights in this area, and it was still lightly raining, so she couldn't see her surroundings very well, but it looked as though they were driving through a very nice quiet part of town.

"Will your Father still be there with Onii-san?"

Darling exhaled. "I'm going to our house, but my Old Man actually lives by himself during the week near the hospital downtown Maebashi. Aniki went there to talk with him, but he would probably come back here. If he's not here, he might have gone to the Gundai campus; he has an apartment there he sometimes uses. We'll be checking there too if he's not here."

"Okay," Kyouko replied. She looked out the window again as Darling slowed the car and turned into a neighborhood with a gate in front of it. He reached into the console for a blank looking card and rolled down the window to tap the card against a small black box. When he did, the gate began to open. When it had opened barely enough to accommodate the width of the FD, he drove slowly through down a dark lane with no houses on either side.

"They lock it up after 9," he said by way of explanation. He approached another intersection, then turned left. Now Kyouko started to see some houses. Well, small _mansions,_ more like.

"Wow," she breathed. "Is this...where you live?"

"Yeah."

"These houses...are huge…"

Darling rolled his eyes. "They're all right I guess."

"I suppose it's silly, but I never pictured you living in a place like this, even though I guess I should have known better," she said quietly.

"I'm not going to be living here for much longer," he replied seriously. "Once I sign, I'm bailing out of here as soon as I can whether they like it or not. I decided that much when I learned about their master plan to ship my brother off to the States."

"Onii-san is...moving to America?"

"Not permanently, and not by choice."

Kyouko considered as Keisuke wove the car past a few more turns before he slowed it to a crawl, tapping a remote on his sun visor, ostensibly to open a garage. "Is...that what Onii-san was going to talk to your Father about tonight? Because he doesn't want to leave?"

"Sort of. He definitely doesn't want to go, but he was going to do it. He just wasn't planning on leaving until December. But our Old Man decided he wanted him gone sooner, and the Old Lady decided to arrange for a wife for him before he leaves and he found out both of those nice surprises today. My brother doesn't like surprises."

"That's...a lot to take," she remarked as her attention was drawn to a very large western style house; to her eyes it was a mansion that seemed to have a million windows. "Is this...it?"

"Yup. Home Sweet Hell." Darling turned into a long driveway along the side of the home that seemed to go on forever, and the driveway led up to a massive four-car-plus garage.

"Thank God. He's here, or, at least his car is here, so he's probably here."

"I'll wait here while you check on him," Kyouko offered, thinking to give the brothers their privacy. If it was "family bullshit", she certainly shouldn't intrude.

"No. I'm not leaving you outside in the car in the rain, especially since I dragged you here in the first place."

"Are you sure? I mean, I'm sure you want to have privacy while you talk to Onii-san…"

Darling considered for a second, as if calculating the effect of bringing her inside the house. "No," he repeated, "I'll park inside and we can go through the garage. You can wait in the kitchen while I check on him. Once I see that he's fine, we'll split."

"Okay," she replied uneasily.

The pair got out of the FD and walked through the large garage to a door located at the rear of it. Darling opened the door and took off his shoes in a small genkan and Kyouko followed suit before looking up in awe toward the very large kitchen they stepped into when he turned on the lights. It was clean and white with stainless steel appliances and countertops that looked like polished stone that shone white with little speckles of gray; it was literally sparkling.

"W-wow…," she breathed, "Is someone in your family a chef? This looks like a restaurant kitchen…"

Darling chuckled. "Hardly. No one in my family is really good at cooking."

"Really?"

Darling shrugged. "There's water and other drinks in the refrigerator," he said, indicating a huge stainless steel door. "Please, help yourself to anything you'd like while I look for Aniki."

"Okay."

With that, Darling disappeared out another door and she heard him ascend stairs to the home's second floor. The house was very quiet but for the sounds of Keisuke calling out for his brother.

She thought she heard something, though, like the clinking of a glass or bottle from another room down a hallway in front of a different door leading out from the kitchen. She moved cautiously toward the other side of the kitchen and stepped out into a dark hallway. Looking one way, the corridor widened into a very large foyer at the far end, and at the near end, she could see part of a formal dining room. Turning her head the other way, she saw another wide entrance to a different room, but the sliding doors were closed.

She heard Darling's footsteps coming from the direction of the foyer; how did he get back down from the opposite side of where he left the kitchen before? Just how big was this house?

"Was he up there?" she whispered.

"No. He's not there."

"Darling...I thought I heard something from down that way. Is there another room there?"

Keisuke flipped on another light switch which bathed the hallway in soft light. "That's funny," he remarked. "We almost never close the doors to the TV room…"

"I-I'll go back to the kitchen," she remarked.

"No, Babe, go up the other end. There's a living room near the front door where you can sit in a sort-of comfortable chair. I'll just be a few minutes, okay?"

She nodded and walked down the hallway toward the front of the house, her eyes immediately going upward as she reached the two story-foyer that was aglow with a chandelier that Keisuke had turned on when he came down another set of stairs that were there near to the front entrance. So that's how he did it. 'Amazing...so pretty…,' she thought as she looked upward toward the glittering crystals of the chandelier. It wasn't _overly_ large, but it was definitely more glamorous than anything she had at home. She turned toward a set of French doors with frosted glass window panes and discovered what she guessed was the family's formal living room. It was decorated beautifully with cream colored sofas and chairs and some interesting other pieces of furniture she wasn't quite sure what they might be used for. They could have been works of art for all she knew. 'This...is Darling's home…,' she mused, but then, she caught herself. 'No, this doesn't look like Darling's home at all.' At least it was as far afield as it could get from what she imagined his home to be like; she imagined Darling's home might be full of comfy, well-worn overstuffed chairs and a cozy fireplace with racing stuff displayed everywhere. That was the environment she imagined Darling to be comfortable in and certainly not this magazine spread.

Of course she knew he was wealthy. The guys never got tired of mentioning those rich bastard RedSuns/Project D team members while grumbling about how they were going to afford their next set of tires, or whether or not fixing a broken AC in a car was an entirely essential repair. Looking around at the beautiful living room as she turned on a small, delicate table lamp, she felt that there was a no presence of Darling here; not even _any_ family photos were on display in this room, almost as though there wasn't actually a family living here. It unnerved her a little since her own family's living room was like a photobiography of her own life from infancy to now with pictures of her in the large collage frames her mom liked to use. There was nothing personal here, and certainly nothing that said Darling lived here. It was like...he didn't fit in with all this glamorous decor. Not that it was ridiculously glamorous; maybe glamourous wasn't quite the word. Stylish? Classy? No; to her, Darling had his own style and so was stylish. Maybe he didn't appear to be a classy guy at first, but he certainly treated her with utmost respect and class, not caring that she didn't come from... _this._

Maybe it was the sophistication of each room's design, how everything seemed to have its perfect place; maybe that was what was throwing her off. It was as though this home was all for show, just saying, "Yes, we've made it, we won't clobber you over the head with how rich we are even though we could, but, look around at the tiny details and you'll have no choice but to know, we've _made it_." That's the impression she got from this beautiful home; it was stunning to look at, but one might not want to quite live in it.

She sat down on a cream colored chair, hoping beyond hope that her clothes weren't dirty or anything lest she mar its soft fabric, and listened to Darling open the sliding doors to the family room. It was far enough away that his voice was muffled when he entered the room at the other end of the hallway…

"A-aniki?" Keisuke asked quietly toward the sight before him as his eyes adjusted from the soft light of the hallway to the dark family room. There sat Ryousuke on the floor in front of the sectional with a wild array of martini-making paraphernalia on the coffee table in front of him: an ice bucket, a shaker, an opened jar of olives with the olive brine mostly gone, a bottle of vermouth, and, a shockingly nearly-half empty bottle of vodka that Keisuke was sure had been full when he'd seen it in the freezer not terribly long ago. He couldn't bring himself to enter the room fully; the lights were off and all he could see was his brother's vague outline against the front of the sectional as he sat in the dark with his legs crossed in front of him. He couldn't have been home too long, but it looked as though he walked in and immediately sat down and started drinking.

"Why are you here?" the elder asked, reaching for his cigarettes and a lighter. As Keisuke looked on, and as his eyes adjusted further, he discovered an ashtray with several spent cigarettes in it. So, not only was Aniki drinking, he was smoking, inside, _in the family room_ by himself. Just how many levels of wrong was that?!

It also appeared that, at some point, his brother had abandoned the hassle of actually mixing a drink for himself, because he was now pouring a shot of vodka into a shot glass and throwing it back like some kind of college frat-brat.

"Maybe because you didn't call me when you were done over there like you said you were going to."

"Oh. I turned my phone off because it kept ringing and I didn't want to talk to anyone."

"You asshole!" Keisuke hissed in a hot whisper, trying not to yell so as not to startle his girlfriend who was patiently waiting for him at the front of the house. "And, why the fuck are you in here drinking and smoking?! If you wanted to get drunk, I would have been more than happy to help you the fuck out so you don't have to be a slob here in the family room!"

"Why indeed?" came the slightly slurred reply. He picked up the bottle of vodka with the same hand that held his cigarette and sloppily sloshed another shot into the shot glass, most of it missing the glass and pooling on the table. Keisuke mentally posited that his brother probably hadn't had _overly_ much to drink, but he wasn't exactly a champ at drinking so it wouldn't take much to get him drunk. Add that to the fact that his brother ate like every second day or something, and Keisuke assumed it went straight to his head. Judging by the contents of the stuff on the table, he might have had maybe two or three actual drinks in succession and a couple of half-assed shots. But Aniki was never one to drink himself drunk. Never. "It...didn't go well tonight."

"Obviously. But you knew it wasn't going to. So why...all _this_?" Keisuke remained behind the sectional, not wanting to turn on a lamp or to look toward his brother's face for fear of blowing up in a rage toward what he might see. If that Old Man laid a hand on his Aniki-

"He knows, Keisuke," his brother finally said as he took a drag of his cigarette and put it out in the ashtray.

The FD driver considered the statement. "Fujiwara didn't react well to your leaving sooner?" he asked tentatively. "I can't believe that alone would drive you to drink. You both knew it was coming…"

"I haven't told Takumi anything," his brother declared.

That got Keisuke's dander up. "What do you mean you haven't told him?" he said quietly, trying to keep his voice down. He didn't think Kyouko would be able to hear the conversation from the other end of the house, but he certainly didn't want to be the one to let anything slip. "I warned you about that," he snapped, "I thought you understood him enough to know that you needed to tell him right away."

"I…," his brother faltered, "I just couldn't bring myself to call him. I'm fucking pathetic," he added, the alcohol making the last word come out like drawl. "Pathetic," he repeated with more certainty, as if correcting himself for slurring his words a little.

Keisuke suddenly felt alarmed. "Then,...what did you mean by 'he knows'?" he whispered.

Ryousuke exhaled audibly as he poured another half-shot of vodka. He tipped it back and almost dropped the empty glass on the table where it clattered a bit before coming to rest still upright. He looked up toward the ceiling, then it appeared as though he immediately thought better of the idea and raised an elbow to the table and put his chin on the heel of his hand.

"Aniki-"

Before Keisuke could form another question, his brother interrupted him. "Our Father knows I'm a 'fucking faggot'. His words."

Keisuke felt his eyes widen. "Oh shit," he said simply.

"Yeah. Everything's pretty much done now."

"How the hell did this happen?" Keisuke asked, barely able to keep his voice low. "I never knew...how the hell did he?"

"I guess I slipped up a few years back," his brother commented, reaching again for the bottle with his right hand and steadying the shot glass with his left hand so that more of the vodka actually made it into the glass.

"What are you going to do now?"

"Everything he asks of me."

"That's bullshit!" Keisuke hissed, finally being able to move from his spot behind the sectional as his brother knocked back the shot. He flipped on a lamp.

"Turn that _off._ "

"No," he replied. He walked around to look at his brother and he felt the color drain from his face and the anger boiling up from within when he saw redness on his brothers jaw and evidence of a split lip. " _He fucking hit you, didn't he?!"_ he spat, forgetting about keeping his voice lowered as he got closer to his brother to look at his face.

His brother looked up. "It's _nothing_."

Keisuke was about to retort, but stopped short of speaking when he heard her voice.

"D-darling…?"

The glare Keisuke received from his brother stopped him in his tracks. "You brought her here?" Ryousuke asked coolly. "Why is Iwase here?"

"We were out. I was worried about you and she was worried about me worrying about _you._ And now I see we had a reason to be. She'll find out what a clusterfuck our family is eventually anyway," he snapped, turning on his heel and leaving his brother to be angry about that all by himself with his stupid vodka shots. He went out into the hallway to see that Kyouko had come about halfway down, but she didn't advance further.

"Darling, is Onii-san okay?" she asked nervously. "I heard you…"

He walked toward her meaningfully, the anger toward his Father bubbling up. How _dare_ that man put a hand on his brother, the only fucking person in the entire family who ever gave a shit about him? "Look. I need to go somewhere."

"Now?" Kyouko asked with a worried expression toward her boyfriend's angry look. "Where are we going?"

"No!" Keisuke retorted harshly. Then, seeing the widening of his girlfriend's eyes, he lowered his tone. "No, Babe, you stay here with Aniki. I need to take care of something."

Before she knew it, her boyfriend turned around and was headed back toward the kitchen where they had entered the house. He was furious, and the storm brewing in his eyes frightened her. She started running down the hallway and caught up with him in the doorway of the kitchen, throwing her arms around his waist to stop him from entering the kitchen to leave out the garage. "What are you doing? Where are you going?" she pleaded.

"I'm going to fucking kill that bastard," her boyfriend said in an eerily calm voice as he literally trembled with fury within her grasp. "Let go of me."

"No. I won't let go, Darling. Think! What would that accomplish?! Would that help Onii-san, or make things worse for him?! For you?! Think!"

"I can't fucking think when I know that Asshole touched him. I don't give a shit what he does to me, but I will make him pay for laying so much as finger on _him_."

"Takahashi Keisuke, don't you _dare_ leave me here in this house," she said firmly, holding Darling as tightly as she could.

The trembling stopped and she felt her boyfriend relax a little. "Tch."

She kept holding on. "You need to remember your goal. You're going to the pros. You and Takumi-kun. Confronting your Father will not help Onii-san, but making his Dream come true will."

"She's right, Keisuke," came the soft voice of Ryousuke from the entrance to the family room before Keisuke could retort. "This is my problem so don't make it yours. Think of your own life," he added as sternly as a half-wasted person could do.

Kyouko abruptly let go of Darling in the presence of Onii-san, feeling the warmth of a blush cross her face. "Onii-san…"

"I'm very sorry to have troubled you, Kyouko-san," he said. Bowing, he added, "Please, continue to take care of Keisuke." She nodded, not really knowing what to say; Onii-san looked tired, and not entirely steady on his feet either when he raised himself. It looked as though he was leaning slightly on the doorjamb, but she was too far down the hallway to see for sure if he had a mark on his face, but she thought he did. If their Father hurt him, no wonder her boyfriend was so angry; she knew he was very protective of his brother, even though he was the younger sibling.

"Aniki, I can't accept this," Darling said seriously to his brother. "You _know_ I can't."

Kyouko looked back and forth from Darling to Onii-san, unsure of what she should be saying or doing. It looked as though they were having a silent conversation between them, and she didn't understand it.

"I'm fine," Onii-san said at length. "The two of you should go; don't let me disturb your evening any further." He turned, somewhat unsteadily, and re-entered the family room and slid the door closed behind him.

"Bastard."

"I-is he okay?" Kyouko whispered.

"No, he's not. He's wasted."

"What?" she whispered again. "He didn't look….drunk…?"

Keisuke chuckled. "Oh, he did his best to appear normal in front of you, but he's kind of a lightweight. He's smashed and he knows it."

"R-really?"

"Yeah. Fuck. I can't leave him like this."

"What do you want to do, Darling?"

Keisuke furrowed his brow and Kyouko could tell he was still sort of thinking about leaving to go see his Father, but it looked as though he was weighing that against staying to ensure his brother didn't drink any more than he already had. "Come on," he said, apparently coming to a decision, grabbing her hand, and walking briskly down the hallway toward the family room, "we're getting him out of this house."

She stopped walking which caused Darling to stop and look at her when the resistance of her lack of motion caused a tug on his hand. "Maybe we should just let him be. It's not a crime to get drunk in your own house…I don't think Onii-san is planning on going anywhere…"

"I know that," he whispered hotly. "But, what if we leave and the Old Man shows up later tonight or tomorrow looking for round two? I couldn't live with myself if I wasn't with him."

"But-"

"Look. Babe. I'm listening to both of you and it's taking _all_ of my willpower not to run out that door and give my Old Man exactly what he deserves. I'm compromising here big time!" he hissed.

"What if he says no? He told us to leave."

Darling turned fully to face her and took her other hand and squeezed both of them. "He's taken care of me my whole life. I have to take care of him for once, and I'm tired of him not letting me. He didn't let me go with him to see the Old Man and now look what happened: he got hit and now he's drunk in the family room and this is a guy who barely even drinks. There is just too much wrong with that and I can't ignore it, even if he says no, I'm not letting him stay here."

Kyouko could see the seriousness, anger, and concern in Darling's eyes. If this is what Darling thought was best, she knew she had to support it. She didn't want Onii-san to get hurt again, but she also didn't want him to be angry with Darling either. Maybe she could help them both. "Okay, let's convince him to come with us."

Keisuke leaned in for a quick kiss on her lips before pulling back and looking at her directly with a piercing gaze that made her breath catch in her throat. "I love you, you know."

Kyouko gasped and she felt her cheeks heat and her eyes go wide. It wasn't the confession of her dreams, but it was certainly her dream come true anyway. She had heard him correctly, right? Maybe she should make sure. "D-darling…?"

"Let's try to get him out of here before he passes out," he said, not repeating the words she wanted to hear, but releasing her hands and continuing to approach the family room door. Kyouko followed behind her Darling and waited as he slid open the door.

When she walked into the room with him, Onii-san was lounging on the sofa with his eyes closed and there was vodka and all kinds of crap on the table. It was a mess, but a very localized one in the otherwise pristine family room. It looked like it was the family room in name only, much like how the living room hadn't looked lived in, and she wondered if she should really be there. Maybe Onii-san was already passed out? If so, she thought they should just leave well enough alone and stay put to just let him sleep it off.

"Aniki. Get up," Keisuke commanded.

"I thought you were leaving," the elder groaned quietly from the couch.

So he wasn't passed out. Kyouko looked at her boyfriend with a silent question as to what she should be doing. When no answer came, she tugged a little on Darling's shirt and mouthed "What now?"

"We _are_ leaving," Keisuke announced to his brother, "You're coming too."

"No, I'm not…," came the slightly slurred reply.

"Fine, have it your way. When you pass out, I'll haul your ass out whether you like it or not." Turning to his girlfriend, "Koko, would you mind helping me with this?" he asked, motioning to the mess on the table.

"Sure," Kyouko replied, coming around to the front of the couch to put the caps on the bottles of liquor as Keisuke removed the glasses and the ice bucket and walked toward a sizeable wet bar on the other side of the room to rinse them out. She followed with the bottles of vodka and vermouth and put them inside the bar which was stocked to the hilt with more wine and liquor than some neighborhood bars she knew.

"What are you two doing?" Onii-san grumbled, sitting up with what appeared to be a significant effort.

"You're done drinking so we're putting this shit away," Keisuke explained quietly.

"I wasn't done," the elder remarked.

"Yeah, you are," his brother affirmed. "Just sit there and shut up."

Kyouko found paper towels and some glass cleaner in a cabinet underneath the bar sink and she went back over toward Onii-san to wipe the spilled vodka and clean the table.

"Kyouko-san, please leave it. I'll clean it up later," the elder said tiredly.

"Don't worry about it, Onii-san, it'll just take a minute. Please rest."

She handed the half-full ashtray to her boyfriend's waiting hands and started to wipe down the table to sop up the spilled vodka. As she cleaned it off, Darling opened a window slightly to air out the room from the cigarette smoke. He ducked out of the room and came back as she was putting away the paper towels and cleaner, spritzing an air freshener spray around. "That should be okay for now," he said, putting the cap on the spray bottle and looking over toward the couch.

"Keisuke, stop this," the elder asserted as best as he could. "I'm not going anywhere."

"No, you stop arguing with me!" the younger retorted hotly. "If you won't let me take care of business with the Old Man, then I'm just going to take care of business with you and you've got nothing to say about it, so just sit there and shut the hell up!"

The elder glared at the two of them before closing his eyes again. Maybe he was giving up after all. Kyouko looked at Darling who had a serious expression on his face which suddenly relaxed.

"Aaaaand….he's out," Darling quipped with a half smile. Kyouko followed his gaze and, sure enough, Onii-san was passed out, still in a seated position, his hands limply in his lap. "Now, we get moving before he sobers up enough to put up a real fight about it. I've actually never seen him drunk, so I have no idea how long he'll be out."

"Darling…do you think he needs to go to a hospital or something? How drunk is he?"

Keisuke laughed a little. "Nah, i sort of calculated how much he had. It's nothing serious, he's just a lightweight," he reaffirmed with a huffing sound.

"Okay, if you're sure he's really all right…"

"Come on, Babe," Keisuke said, taking her hand again and leading her out of the family room and up the back stairs of the house. The stairs ended on a generous landing and there was another hallway. Keisuke started leading her down to the far end of the hallway to a room with an opened door but with no lights on inside.

He stepped through and flipped on the overhead light. "Ok. Now, tell me the name of the fanciest hotel you can think of near your house."

"You're taking him to Saitama?" Kyouko asked, confused. "But there are fancier places here in Takasaki and Maebashi."

"I don't even want him in the same prefecture as the Old Man right now. Think of the most ridiculously expensive place and that will be good enough. He likes that kind of stuff."

"Um...I'm not sure, since I live there, I don't normally think about what would be nice for someone visiting...but, there is one sort of near the train station that's pretty nice...oh, wait, there's an onsen resort a little bit outside of Chichibu that is supposed to be pretty fancy."

"Okay," Darling replied, getting his phone out of his pocket and opening a map program. "Type the name of it in here and see if it comes up and then I'm going to grab some stuff from my room. You can pack some stuff for Aniki; this is his room."

"Eh?! Darling! I can't do that!" she exclaimed, definitely sure that she should not be going anywhere near touching Onii-san's things, never mind his _personal_ things. She barely knew Onii-san! She quickly typed the name of the hotel into the phone and handed it back to Darling.

"Sure you can," Keisuke said with a mischievous look, "Finding his stuff is easy because he's OCD and always puts everything in the same places since forever. Look," he directed, dragging her over to a tall dresser on one side of the large and immaculate bedroom. "Top drawer: socks and shorts," he pointed to the top drawer and then pointed as he ticked off the remaining drawers' contents. "Next drawer, sleeping pants and t shirts. Next one, sweaters." He pointed to a closed door. "Department Store. You'll be fine. Just grab two or three of everything."

"Eh?!" she repeated as Keisuke dashed out of his brother's room. She went out into the hallway. "Darling! I can't go through your brother's things!"

"Trust me, he's not gonna care as long as he's passed out on the couch. I'm going to get my stuff and make a phone call to book him a room. It's fine."

With that, he entered what she supposed was his own room and closed the door behind him. With a nervous sigh, she re-entered Onii-san's room and stared at the dresser. "Please forgive me, Onii-san," she whispered mostly to herself as she gingerly opened the top drawer. As Darling predicted, there were neat rows of socks and, gasp, boxer shorts. Squeezing her eyes shut she quickly removed three pair of each and hurriedly closed the drawer and put them on the bed.

She repeated the same routine, pulling three t shirts and two pair of sleeping pants, and one sweater. Then she turned to the closed door and opened it. It was dark inside, so she felt around the corner of the doorjamb until she felt a light switch and flipped it on.

Her jaw dropped. Now she understood why Darling had called the closet "Department Store". There were more clothes in here than she thought it possible for one person to own. "Wow…," she breathed, unable to help admiring the massive walk-in closet with neatly hung business attire on one side and somewhat casual attire on the other, all arranged perfectly from light-colored to dark-colored along each side of the closet with shirts on the top hang-bar and slacks on the bottom. All of Onii-san's shoes were in clear plastic boxes on shelves under the slacks and he had another built-in dresser toward the back with shallow drawers on top and two open shelves on the bottom where winter boots occupied the bottom shelf and extra blankets were stored in a clear plastic storage bag on the top. Jackets and coats of all lengths and types were hung at the rear of the closet, from shortest length to longest and also by color. She turned back toward the door and there were more built-in shelves behind where there were plastic storage containers labeled with lists of contents on one side of the door and, on the other side of the door, suitcases of varying sizes were stored making up a matched set of... 'Were those _real_ Louis Vuitton?!' she thought wildly as she tentatively selected a small carry-on sized roller bag from one of the shelves and brought it down to the floor. She saw a basket on the floor with a few extra empty hangers, and another basket that she assumed was a laundry hamper. "Wow…," she repeated to herself, thinking of how jealous her girlfriends would be if they had a closet like this; she herself was downright envious. If there was ever a dream closet, this was probably it. Onii-san was _really_ neat and organized too; she understood now why Darling had called him OCD. She chuckled a little in spite of herself. That was certainly something new she learned about Darling's precious brother, although he did always look well put together whenever she had seen him and now she definitely understood where that came from.

She rolled the designer luggage over toward the bed and placed it on the floor on its backside to open it. The smooth zipper and supple leather told her that was definitely not a knock-off, but the real thing. As she packed Onii-san's clothes from the dresser, she noticed everything was super high-end even his...shorts. 'He must spend a fortune on this stuff,' she thought to herself, still in awe over how nice everything was.

She went back into the Department Store and selected a few shirts and slacks from the "casual" side of the closet, noting that every single piece was designer. Amazing; Darling wore designer clothes sometimes, but he mixed it up with regular stuff too. She wondered if even Onii-san's "grubbies" were designer too; she actually didn't see grubbies at all: they were probably in the remaining drawers of the dresser outside in the bedroom if he had any at all which she was beginning to doubt. She knew she had seen him in designer jeans before, but she'd done enough snooping and figured whatever was hanging on the casual side would be fine.

She took the clothes off their hangers and put the empty hangers in the basket with the other ones and returned to the bed to fold the clothes. She put everything carefully in the suitcase, but wondered about other travel necessities like a toothbrush.

She went down the hallway and knocked on the door of the room she saw Darling enter. She could hear him talking on the phone, ostensibly paying for the hotel over the phone with his credit card. He came to the door and opened it, waving her inside as he was reading off his credit card number.

Her jaw dropped again. After coming from the immaculately neat room that belonged to Onii-san, the effect of Darling's room was staggering. She visually scanned the room and it was completely the opposite of his brother's bedroom; in fact, it was a hot mess. There were random things stuck to the walls like license plates and bumper stickers and stuff all over the floor, even food wrappers and empty cups from 7-11. This time she laughed out loud; this was the only place in the house that proved Darling lived here after all. She loved it.

Darling got off the phone. "What?" he said with a frown. "It's not like I was expecting company," he grumbled, kicking some things out of the way, ostensibly to form a sort of pathway on the floor.

"Mm-mm," she said, shaking her head in the negative. "I like it. Is that a bucket seat?" she asked incredulously, pointing toward something that had the vague shape of a bucket seat despite being draped over with laundry.

"Uh, yeah."

"And, is that a fuel pump assembly?!" she asked, laughing outright, as she pointed toward Darling's bedside table.

"Yeah," he said with a smile. "You can start griping now, everyone does when they see this place."

Kyouko shook her head again. "Nope. I like it; it's you." This was exactly the type of place she thought her Darling would have; maybe not in his bedroom, but maybe in a den or man-cave of sorts. "You and Onii-san are so different in some ways...it's kind of crazy."

Keisuke rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm normal and he's a neat freak."

"I don't know if this is _normal_ ," Kyouko remarked playfully, "But at least it looks like you live here," she added with a big smile.

"I guess. Did you find all his clothes? We should get going," he said seriously.

"Oh, yes, but, I still need to get, uh, you know like a toothbrush and stuff…"

"Okay, I know where he keeps a travel kit in his bathroom," Darling asserted, grabbing a duffel bag from on top of his messy bed and shooing her out of the chaos and back into the hallway. They returned to Onii-san's room and Keisuke put his bag on the floor and opened another closed door which Kyouko saw was an en suite bathroom.

"Wow, he has his own bathroom too?" she asked.

"Yeah, he got the prime real estate of the house," Darling replied with a snort as he opened a cabinet and pulled out a small men's travel kit. He unzipped it and shook it around, ostensibly to make sure it was fully stocked. Satisfied, he zipped it up again and tossed it on the bed. Naturally, it looked like yet another Louis Vuitton. "Did you get a coat for him?"

"Uh..no..Should I get a raincoat? I think it's still drizzling out…"

"Just grab one of those fleecy things in the back of the closet. That should work."

"Okay," she responded, returning to the massive closet. She went toward the rear and found a mid-weight fleece coat that zipped up in front. Again, she took the empty hanger and placed it in the "hanger basket" before closing the light and bringing it out toward the bed where Keisuke was putting the travel kit inside the suitcase and zipping it closed.

"That'll work," he said with a glance toward the coat in his girlfriend's hand.

"Onii-san has a lot of clothes," she remarked as they left the room. "I guess you weren't kidding when you said Department Store," she added with a giggle.

"Yeah," her boyfriend replied with a smile and a chuckle. "It's a weakness; he loves to clothes shop for whatever reason. I tease him about it a _lot_."

"You really love him."

"Yeah. That's why we're doing this."

"I hope he won't be angry that I touched his things," she whispered as they neared the family room. "He must be the type to be...particular about that kind of thing…"

Darling just laughed quietly. "Yeah, that's why I had you do it because I would have just thrown shit in a bag and not care if it matched or anything and then he'd really be pissed."

Kyouko dared to giggle again. "You two are really close; that's so nice. I don't have a brother or sister, so it's interesting to me."

"Let me put this stuff in the trunk and we'll get him into the car. That will be fun I'm sure," he groaned. "And, I need to call Fujiwara and let him know what's going on."

"Takumi-kun?"

"Yeah...he needs to know about this," Darling said with a deadly serious tone as he looked straight into her eyes.

"Why?"

Darling remained silent.

"I know you're all very close…"

Her boyfriend exhaled audibly. "I'm sorry, Koko. If it was my place to tell you why, I would, but it's not. Just know that he needs to know, okay?"

"That's okay, Darling, I won't pry. I know Takumi-kun is an important friend. If you think he needs to know, then that is enough for me."

A look of relief passed over his face. "Thanks for that. I hate not being able to tell you everything, but that's sort of up to them."

"Okay," she said, wondering what that was all about as she watched Darling exit the kitchen with his duffel bag and Onii-san's suitcase. She could hear the trunk of the FD open and close in the garage and, a few seconds later, he reappeared. "Let me call Fujiwara."

He took out his phone again and pressed a couple of things on the screen. "Yo, Fujiwara, it's me," he said after a couple of seconds. "...What are you doing right now?...Good. Look, uh, something kinda happened tonight with Aniki. I think you should know about it...No, nothing like that, but, you need to be there...Yeah. So pack some clothes for a couple of days and go to the address I'm gonna text you...Yeah, can you get your dad to make your delivery tomorrow morning?...Oh. That's good then. We'll meet you there, and, uh, bring some stuff for a hangover if you can….You'll find out why, just do it, all right?...Okay...Later." He texted the address and put his phone back in his pocket.

"Is Takumi-kun going to meet us there?"

"I didn't want to worry him too much, but it sounded like was a little worried already. He'll be there. Now, let's get Aniki into the car."

They walked back down the hallway and returned to the family room. Onii-san was laying down again on the couch, fast asleep. "Are you sure this is okay?" she whispered.

"Yeah, just help me get him sitting up and I'll wake him enough to get out to the car."

The two of them leaned over the elder and managed to pull him up to a mostly-seated position. "Aniki. We've gotta go. Wake up."

Onii-san's eyes fluttered open. "What are you doing here, Keisuke…?"

"Come on, time to go for a ride. Get up," Darling said gently, hooking his arm around his brother and pulling him to a standing position with a little effort. "Can you stand up?"

The elder considered for a few seconds. "Please, excuse me a moment…"

He walked out of the other side of the family room. "Where is he going?" Kyouko whispered.

"Bathroom, I'm sure. Even if he didn't drink a whole lot, it's a lot for him."

"Oh," she answered, "I'll wait in the kitchen; maybe he should drink some water…?"

"Yeah, good idea. Grab a few bottles out of the fridge, will you? There should be a small cooler bag in the garage on the shelf right beside the door to put them in."

"Okay." She went to the kitchen and opened the door to the garage. Sure enough, a small soft-sided cooler large enough to hold about half-dozen bottles was sitting there on the shelf. She brought it into the house and opened the massive refrigerator and took out six bottled waters from it. She placed five of them in the insulated bag and zipped it closed just in time to see the two brothers walk into the kitchen. Onii-san had put himself together a little; but his tie was still loosened and his sleeves were rolled up and her boyfriend had a hand on his elbow steadying him. "Onii-san, here's your coat. Please put it on," she said softly, "and, please drink some water."

"Thank you," the addressed replied tiredly, taking a long sip of water before setting the bottle down on the counter. "This isn't necessary, Keisuke," he said to his brother who helped him on with his coat while holding onto him. "I'm fine now…"

"No, you're still drunk as fuck."

"No, I'm not," Onii-san said crossly.

"Oh yeah? Then see if the room spins without me holding you up, bastard," Keisuke contested, removing the hand from his brother's arm and, Kyouko now saw, his other hand from Onii-san's back. He immediately began to look unsteady on his feet, so his brother grabbed him again to steady him once more.

"You win," the elder said quietly. "I'm drunk as fuck."

Keisuke snickered a little and Kyouko wasn't sure if she should be shocked or amused; she'd never heard Onii-san say anything like that in her presence, even if it was routine coming from Darling and she was used to it. She decided to be amused, and just winked to her boyfriend who stifled another little chuckle. However, now that she looked at Onii-san in a room with more light, it did concern her that she could definitely see a small bruise forming on his jaw, and evidence that he had split his lip. It turned her smile into something else that Darling noticed right away. When their eyes met he shook his head silently and she could see that flare of anger in his eyes and that he was desperately trying not to lose it.

"Let's get your shoes, Onii-san," she said quietly as they approached the genkan. Amazingly, he didn't need any help with his shoes after all, nor did he need any real help getting into the FD. It appeared that the acknowledgment of the state of his own sobriety sharpened his focus and put him into some form of acceptance that he was being knowingly kidnapped.

"We should have put him in the back," Keisuke grumbled with an audible "tch" after he shut the door to the passenger side.

"I don't mind, Darling. Besides, it would be harder for us to get him out of the back if he falls asleep again."

"You mean if he _passes out_ ," he snarked. "But my girlfriend should _always_ be shotgun. That's just the way it is."

"It's fine." Kyouko felt herself beaming as she climbed into the back seat of the FD. She sat behind Onii-san so she had a better view of Darling, and put on her seat belt. Darling sat down and buckled in before pulling up the GPS on his phone so he could follow the directions to the hotel. He brought the FD to life and they drove through the quiet neighborhood streets.

"Where are we going?" Onii-san asked once they left the neighborhood.

"A place that's not here. Don't worry about it."

"All right," the elder relented. Moments later, he was asleep.


	45. Chapter 45

Fujiwara Tofu Shop, Thursday, 9:45 PM

Takumi closed his cell phone with a sense of alarm. Something was definitely wrong. When he received that somewhat more belated than expected text from Ryousuke, something about it sat oddly with him.

Something had nagged him to ask for more details, but he had refrained. He had always made it a point not to interrupt Ryousuke when he had work to do, and not to be some needy girl who required constant attention.

So when the text came through a few hours later than Takumi thought it should have, simply stating that Ryousuke "was detained", something about that was definitely off. But, he assumed it was school or work related, and that was definitely not a world that Takumi felt comfortable about asking for any more details.

However, now that Keisuke had called, he knew he should have pressed his lover for more. Thankfully, he was able to confirm with the brief call that there was no car accident involved, but Keisuke's serious tone telling him he needed to be there definitely signaled that something _had_ happened. He didn't know quite what that something was, but he knew that whatever it was, it was not good.

Especially since Keisuke had asked him to bring stuff for a hangover; what was that about anyway? Usually he didn't drink that much, and Keisuke didn't either really when they would hang out together, but, whatever this something was, Keisuke was preparing for a hangover. Would Keisuke assume he would just want to get drunk after hearing about it? Maybe that was Keisuke's plan. And, the address Keisuke had sent him in a text was in Saitama. Why Saitama? He couldn't figure that out either. At least Saitama wasn't that far away. He could get there pretty fast, and he sensed that it would be for the best if he did just that.

 _I have no clue what's going on, but I need to be there._

So now here he was, freaking out a little with worry and rushing about his room to throw together an overnight bag with a couple of changes of clothes. Thankfully, he had already arranged for his dad to deliver the tofu the following day because he had a rare day off from the moving company, and he had sort of a loose plan in place to meet Ryousuke for lunch anyway at some new restaurant the elder had wanted to try after he read about it on something called an online newsgroup.

Takumi had learned over the last few months that Ryousuke was quite the food critic; in his own opinion, the elder didn't eat very much, but he somehow managed to be willing to try new things and be ridiculously picky at the same time. He found his lover's tempered excitement about food amusing since he'd managed to drag out a few more stories about Ryousuke's disastrous attempts to cook. He still couldn't understand how a guy as smart as Ryousuke could mess up something as simple as a recipe, but he managed to do it in an apparently spectacular fashion every time. Of course, Ryousuke never attempted to cook anything for him, and Takumi couldn't help but to be secretly thankful about that after some of the things he'd heard from both Ryousuke and Keisuke.

He went into the bathroom to grab his toothbrush and other essentials and he opened the medicine cabinet to see how much hangover tonic his father had.

 _Damn. There's only one bottle left. The Shitty Old Man will kill me if I take it. Guess I'm stopping at the convenience store._

Takumi gathered up his personal things and tossed them into his bag. He grabbed the sunglasses Ryousuke had given to him to wear the next day, now securely placed into a case he bought to protect them, and he went downstairs.

"I've got to go out. I probably won't be back tonight," he said to his father who was lounging and snoozing on the tatami half-watching some variety program.

There must have been something in the tone of voice he was using, though, because his father sat up and gave him a good once over. "Is everything all right, Takumi?"

What a loaded question that was.

"I don't know," he replied honestly. "I have to go."

With that pronouncement made and a worried look in his son's eyes, Bunta watched Takumi leave the shop carrying the small duffel bag he had used when he was going on his expeditions with Project D. He rose from his place on the floor and walked out the door in time to see the hachi-roku pull away from the curb; he took out a cigarette and lit it, turning to watch the taillights disappear down the street.

"I wonder if the shit has finally hit the fan," he mused allowed to no one. It really was about time that it had, he thought. This thing had been going on for a few months after all, and it didn't look like either his son or Nii-chan had any real intention of stopping what they were doing until the last possible moment when Nii-chan would have to leave the country. Something had to have happened, or someone, like Nii-chan's parents, must have found out.

"Damn brats."

* * *

Saitama Prefecture, Thursday, 10:40 PM

Takumi had made good time, despite stopping into the convenience store for a few bottles of Kabakawa A, Pocari Sweat, pain reliever, and some umeboshi: his Father's usual hangover recovery kit. He had no idea what he could possibly learn that would cause him to need such things, but the seriousness of Keisuke's voice made buying them a requirement.

His phone's GPS was guiding him through unfamiliar streets until he saw a driveway and turned as his phone instructed him to do. As he wound the hachi-roku around the curves of the gravel road, he realized that he was pulling up to a very nice resort.

 _What the hell?_

He passed the valet and drove a bit further toward the self-park lot, scanning visually for the yellow FD. He was always used to arriving last, so it unnerved him when he realized that neither the FD nor the FC were anywhere in sight. Granted, he lived closer to this part of Saitama than did the Takahashi brothers who lived sort of on the very city limits of Takasaki, so, it should have made sense to him. But nothing made sense when he was worrying more and more with every passing moment.

 _What happened tonight? Is Ryousuke really all right?_

He found a parking space in the lot and turned off the car. The night was chilly, with occasional rain, and he was glad he remembered to wear a sweater as an extra layer over his t-shirt and under his coat. It wasn't cold enough for sleet, thankfully, because driving in that was even worse than driving in snow, but there was no mistaking that autumn had arrived.

Which meant winter was not far behind. Which meant...

 _What am I doing here?_

As if on cue, headlights appeared at the entrance to the lot and the sound of the familiar rotary engine of Keisuke's FD reached his ears. He exited the car and leaned up against the driver's side door, hoping that he didn't have the worried expression on his face that he thought he might.

It was dark in the lot, so he couldn't make out anything inside the FD because of the glare of the headlights. Again, as if on cue, Keisuke turned them off, leaving only his foglights on as he pulled up next to the hachi-roku with a seriously pissed off look on his face.

Ryousuke was sleeping in the passenger seat, his face obscured as his head lay upon his shoulder and the back of the seat toward the window and...what? Kyouko-san was in the back seat?

Before he could form another thought of "What's going on?" in his head, Keisuke yanked the e-brake with some force, cut the engine, and opened the door with one fluid motion.

"Fujiwara."

"What happened, Keisuke-san? Is he okay?" Takumi asked, his voice barely above a whisper so as not to wake the elder, not that he thought it would.

"Tch," was the initial reply as he reached down to pull the seat forward to let Kyouko out of the car. "You seriously need to drop the -san now."

"Eh?"

Kyouko climbed out of the back seat guided by Keisuke's hand, and also had a serious expression as she said a soft "Good evening, Takumi-kun" to him before turning to look toward her boyfriend. He reached into his back pocket and gave her his wallet. "Babe, can you go check us in? The card is the one in front. Tell them I'll be there in a few minutes to sign the register."

Takumi watched a tentative smile grace the lips of the person he had known only as "the driver of the black FD" for most of the last year who had somehow turned into someone important in their circle after the Tokyo trip. It looked as though she was happy to help Ryousuke too, or maybe she was helping Keisuke by helping whatever was going on with Ryousuke; Takumi wasn't sure, but that's what it seemed like to him.

"I'll wait for you in the lobby," she said quietly, taking the wallet in both of her hands as if it was the biggest sign of trust that could have been granted in that moment. Takumi wondered about that too, but he was too distracted by the suddenness of everything to really process why he felt that way about it.

Keisuke followed her with his eyes until she reached the doorway and the bellman held it open for her, looking half-ready to bolt if she had gone out of his sight for even a tenth of a second. Blinking, he turned back to Takumi and saw the concern all over his rival's face.

"Why are we here, Keisuke-san?" Fujiwara asked.

"Drop the -san already, Fujiwara," Keisuke said again. Why was he so fixated on that in this moment when all Takumi wanted to know was why Keisuke had thought it was necessary for the four of them to arrive here in another prefecture at some fancy resort that he was apparently paying for?

"Tell me why I'm here," he said sternly, because asking was getting him nowhere fast.

"You're here because you're worried about him, right?" the younger Rotary Brother asked quietly.

"After that phone call from you, of course I am!" Takumi shot back in a hot whisper, "So tell me what happened, and why you called and why is he sleeping like that?!"

"You were worried before I called anyway, weren't you?"

The calm question took Takumi slightly aback, mainly because Keisuke hadn't reacted to his irritated attitude. He could tell by looking that his friend was furious about something, but he knew somehow that it wasn't toward him. And, how would the FD driver know that he had been worried anyway? Why did Keisuke care about that? Takumi didn't respond right away, he just looked over at Ryousuke as he slept in the navi-seat and kicked at the gravel of the lot with his shoe.

"Yeah. I was worried, Keisuke-san," he said at length, thinking that Keisuke was expecting an honest answer, so he thought he'd better give it. Then maybe he'd find out what the hell was going on. "He...usually texts me after class or work. And... it took a while for me to hear from him today."

Keisuke exhaled sharply and got a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it up with his Zippo, the clinking sound of it snapping closed bringing Takumi back from where he'd unconsciously let his gaze fall again upon his sleeping lover. Keisuke was staring at him now, as if some big decision had already made within him, and he was debating as to whether or not to share it with the younger one. "You dropped everything and sped over here without question. You came here on my say-so, for Aniki's sake. That's enough for me."

"I don't understand. What are you talking about, Keisuke-san?"

"Lose the -san, and don't make me say it _again_ ," he said gruffly.

"Why is that important?" Takumi asked in a voice tinged with annoyance toward Keisuke's not letting go of what seemed like something too superficial to be discussing while his girlfriend was checking them into a resort and while Ryousuke was not even moving in the car.

"Have you ever heard the expression 'you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family'?"

Takumi shrugged. What did that have to do with anything?

"I think that's a crock of shit," the blonde declared. "I think you _can_ choose your family, if you want to, and if you have enough balls to do that. I did that for a while with my gang. Sometimes you choose well, and sometimes you don't, I guess," he added with a sort of wry chuckle, "But you _can_ choose to a point, but that's a luxury not everyone takes for themselves, and, if they do choose a few people outside of their blood family, they are very careful about it. They try to keep that family separate from their real one as much as they can. My brother is like that, and I guess I'm like that too, although he still has a ridiculous loyalty to our parents that I sure as hell don't. That much I know you understand."

No, Takumi didn't really understand this conversation at all. What was Keisuke trying to tell him? He knew Ryousuke had to leave because his Father said so, and he knew Keisuke didn't get along with their parents; that wasn't news. All he could do was listen and pull his coat closed against the chill.

"Sometimes you get lucky and the people you would choose for your family are already your family though," he continued, nodding over toward his brother. "I didn't realize that for a while, but _he_ made me learn that at least one person in my family didn't hate me for being a delinquent or think of me as some unwanted mistake. He cared enough for me to beat me over the head with that until I finally _got it_ when he drove me in his car for the first time on the Akagi downhill."

"Why are you telling me this?" Takumi whispered.

"Because I know he took you down that road and showed you who he really is."

Takumi felt his face heat, searing warmth against a chilly breeze. "Yeah…"

"So, that makes you family to him, so that's why you need to drop the -san already with me too. He told me that you took him down Akina, so I know you understand, even if you think you don't."

Takumi looked up toward his rival with alarm. How much did Ryousuke say about that? He found it hard to believe that his lover would tell his brother about everything that happened that morning, but, he supposed, Keisuke could figure out enough on his own even if Ryousuke had said nothing specific at all. "I-"

"Relax," his friend interrupted, "I don't know details, okay? But I also know what it means to drive all out with someone beside you like that," he said quietly, nodding off to the hotel entrance where Kyouko had gone. "So, I wouldn't have called you at all if I didn't think you'd get it, and you wouldn't be here if you didn't. You need to be here."

Takumi looked down at his feet, unsure of what to say or to do.

"You need to know what happened, and he needs to be the one to tell you," Keisuke said firmly, "because it's not my place to do that for him, but it _is_ my place to make sure he tells my friend the truth, so now's the time to turn back if you can't be there for him tonight."

"Why does it have to be me…you're here, Kyouko-san is here…?"

"Oh, I'm sure he'll be grateful to us. Maybe," Keisuke said with a half-sarcastic smile toward the still-sleeping Ryousuke. He then turned to look Takumi in the eyes with that intensity he showed on the togue. "But he _needs..._ you, Takumi."

Takumi felt his eyes widen with surprise that his friend would say such a thing, placing himself in a secondary position with his brother like that and calling him by his given name besides.

"What _happened_ , Keisuke?" he asked again, the name of his friend and rival sounding odd to his own ears without the honorific.

"Help me get him out of the car," Keisuke directed as he popped the trunk and walked toward it to pull out a duffel and a roller bag. "Did you bring stuff?"

"Yeah," the younger replied a little nervously. He opened his own car door again and reached across to the passenger seat to retrieve the bag from the convenience store. He closed and locked the door and walked around to the hatchback to retrieve his bag.

By this time Keisuke had closed his trunk and opened the passenger side door to unbuckle the seatbelt fastened across Ryousuke's lap and shoulder. "Aniki. Oi. We're here."

Takumi looked on; it was still dark, but he could see Ryousuke stirring a little and opening his eyes sort of halfway. "Already…," he grumbled.

"Yeah. We're going inside. It's cold and damp out, so get out of the car," he directed softly as he waved Takumi over.

Takumi suddenly felt like his feet were firmly planted in the gravel of the parking lot, as if he knew that whatever was happening, whatever had happened already, was not normal. It was too dark to really make out any expressions other than tired on his lover's face, but he had the sinking feeling that Keisuke was definitely leaving out some extremely important detail. The undercurrent of anger was there in his rival's voice, and the sensation of alarm crept back in with increasing force.

"Where are we…?" Ryousuke asked quietly as he ran a hand through his hair and pressed the fingers to his head afterward. Takumi wasn't sure, but he thought Ryousuke was slurring his words a little, and it didn't appear that he even noticed him standing there. It took a second for that realization to register.

 _Is Ryousuke the one who's drunk, too drunk to even drive his car?! Seriously?! He doesn't drink that much...What the hell is going on here?!_

"Saitama," Keisuke explained curtly. "Can you get out of the car? Kyouko is waiting inside for us."

"Okay…" Takumi switched his gaze from the elder in time to see Keisuke look over toward him again and impatiently wave him over for a second time. This time, Takumi was able to free himself from whatever had kept his feet glued to the parking lot and went beside Keisuke. Finally, his lover noticed that he was there and his eyes grew wide with what Takumi could only describe as utter panic before his gaze turned downward. "You're here as well," he whispered, more in declaration of fact than a question.

"Yeah, I'm here, Ryousuke," was all he could get out before he reached down with Keisuke to help the elder out of the passenger seat.

Ryousuke said nothing but allowed himself to be helped out of the car by his Aces. As he stood, he looked a bit unsteady and Keisuke put a hand on his elbow. "Can you fake it enough to get past the lobby?" he asked with a little snicker.

He looked at each of them before stiffening. "Of course."

He still hadn't acknowledged his lover's presence further, and Takumi started to feel like he might get lectured about being there later, but he didn't care. This was so unlike the way he usually saw the elder that he didn't care if Ryousuke wanted to yell at him if it meant he would hurry up and get back to his normal self. It was still dark in the parking lot, but Takumi thought there might be something on his lover's face that hadn't been there before, but he couldn't be sure.

Keisuke had his duffel bag slung across his body and Takumi held his own bag and the convenience store bag while rolling the luggage across the lot. The more they walked, the steadier Ryousuke appeared, so Takumi thought that maybe he wasn't as drunk as he thought he might be after all. But, it could be Ryousuke doing a good job at faking sober too, and that pissed Takumi off a little.

They made it to the entrance and the door was held open for the trio; Takumi looked around at the nicely appointed lobby. This place was pretty fancy; it was actually an onsen resort, definitely more to Ryousuke's taste than Keisuke's, so he figured that whatever the reason for the impromptu trip, that Keisuke had picked this place so his brother would maybe like it. "Take over," the FD driver whispered to him with a slight nod toward his own hand that was discreetly holding his brother's elbow. Takumi hesitated a bit, then took over holding his lover. His heart started to beat faster; he never touched Ryousuke in a public place like this, never mind that there wasn't really anything to worry about a sober person holding up a drunk person, but it still sent another little shiver of worry through his body that someone might suspect something anyway. Even if Keisuke had been seen doing the exact same thing, it was clear that they were family. They looked enough alike for anyone to make that assumption.

So he just stood there, unmoving, holding Ryousuke's elbow in the middle of what he realized was a nearly deserted lobby, not daring to look at his lover's face. Kyouko walked up to them. "We should have the room keys in just a moment, Onii-san," she said quietly. "Can I help you with your coat?"

"No, Kyouko-san, I'm fine. You've done more than enough," his lover said calmly, if a little sluggishly. "Thank you," he added softly, "please don't let him go anywhere tonight," nodding slightly in the direction of the front desk where Keisuke was signing the register to get their room keys.

"I understand," Kyouko replied. Takumi looked at her and then he raised his gaze to look toward Ryousuke as the elder watched Keisuke.

Then, he saw it.

Ryousuke had a bruise on his jawline. It wasn't large by any stretch of the imagination, but it was a purplish yellowish blotch against his otherwise flawless skin. But that wasn't all; Takumi saw that there was a bit of dried blood on his lover's lip. The sight of it made a sudden rush of rage rise up within him from the tips of his toes to the top of his skull.

 _Did you get into a fight with someone?! You?! Who the hell did that to your face?!_

The next sensation he felt was Kyouko's hand on his other hand, squeezing his fingertips slightly. Startled by the touch, he tore his stare away from the side of his lover's face to see the girl shake her head once. A shot of panic coursed through him. Did she know exactly what type of relationship he had with her boyfriend's brother? He didn't think Keisuke would tell her anything, and, as far as he could tell from the times they met up together, she only knew that they were all friends because of Project D. No. Keisuke wouldn't tell her something like that on his own. He respected his brother too much to make that type of decision for him, although, clearly, he had decided for Ryousuke tonight by taking them all here. "I think Keisuke has the keys, let's get up to the room, okay?" she said softly. Maybe she was just reacting to some kind of expression he made when he saw the marks on his lover's face. That had to be it.

He let her hand fall as she walked to meet her boyfriend as he was coming toward them with a fake-smile plastered across his face. Takumi knew it was fake too, because he saw a mirror of his own anger displayed in his rival's eyes.

 _He knows what happened to Ryousuke. Do I really want to know about this?_

"Okay, Everyone, we're all set," he remarked in a fake-cheerful way that didn't appear to be fooling anyone in their group. Nonetheless, they all walked toward and boarded an elevator and Keisuke pressed the button to send it to the third floor. "They don't have a penthouse here, Aniki, but this should do."

"It's fine," came the soft response from the elder who smelled vaguely of alcohol. Takumi remained silent because he thought if he opened his mouth he'd start yelling and screaming and demanding his lover for an explanation about his injury.

When the doors of the elevator parted, Keisuke glanced downward at the little folders he was given which held the key cards for their rooms. Apparently, he'd booked two rooms. Takumi assumed one would be for Kyouko-san and the three of them would share the other.

They walked a short distance down the corridor and Keisuke slipped the card key into the slot on the door handle. A small flashing green dot and a soft click signaled success, and the four of them walked into a spacious room with two double beds inside. "All right, Aniki, let's have your coat so you can sit down before you pass out again."

"I'm _fine_ ," the elder asserted a little sternly as he somewhat clumsily pulled his arms out of the sleeves of his coat, leaving them inside-out as he did.

Takumi silently took the coat from his hands and fixed the sleeves before hanging it up in the small closet in the room along with his own coat. By this time, Kyouko had placed Ryousuke's luggage on the suitcase stand by the dresser. She had a small cooler bag over her shoulder and took out a couple of bottled waters from it and set them down on the table as Keisuke led his brother to a chair and commanded him to have some water.

Without any other protest other than a slight eye roll, Ryousuke opened one of the bottles and started to drink from it. Taking that as his cue, Takumi reached into the convenience store bag for the Pocari Sweat. "Try this...if you want."

Ryousuke looked up toward him with an unreadable expression. It was as though he both wanted him here and didn't want him here at the same time and was trying to decide which outcome was better. He said nothing, though, and took the Pocari Sweat and opened the bottle. "Thanks," he said quietly after a sip. "This stuff is awful," he grumbled.

Takumi felt a slight tinge of relief, but there was no mistaking the bruise and the split lip on his lover's face. "Drink it anyway," he directed. "I'll be right back."

With that, he turned and nodded slightly to Keisuke to follow him as he walked to the door.

He heard his rival say to Kyouko "Give me a minute, okay," before the younger Rotary Brother joined him in the hallway, carrying his own duffel bag again. Takumi walked a bit away from the door and found a small alcove with vending machines; he knew Keisuke was right behind him.

Once he knew for sure no one else was inside the vending area, he spun around and didn't care about what type of expression he was making toward his rival. " _Who the fuck did that to him?"_ he seethed with a voice laced with heat despite the low volume he used.

Keisuke matched his expression. "The Old Man."

Takumi could feel his face grow hot with anger. Sure, his own father clocked him more than a few good ones over the years, but, in those cases, Takumi figured he mostly deserved it, and, mostly, he did. He could think of no reason at all for Ryousuke's father to hit him; didn't he always do whatever his family wanted him to do?

"I suppose you want him to tell me why," he declared after a partially cleansing breath, "Is that why you called me?"

"Yeah. It's...complicated."

Takumi let out an irritated sound. "It's always complicated with him, isn't it?"

Keisuke reciprocated the sound. "Yeah. I know you've got the right since he didn't talk to you about this, but don't be pissed at him tonight; this isn't his fault."

Takumi recoiled slightly. "I'll _try_ not to be pissed at him. I want to _deck_ your Dad, though, so, sorry about that," he spat.

His friend turned and leaned with his back against a soda machine. "Yeah...I was half out the door until they made me think better of it. I still want to fucking kill him. Coming here was a good way for me to get Aniki out of Dodge and keep me from losing it. I figured if you were here too, neither one of us would get thrown in jail for assault tonight," he said with a wry chuckle.

"Why is he _drunk_?" Takumi asked plainly, accepting his rival's reasoning as sound. It was taking all of his energy to restrain himself too, and, in these moments, he knew that Ryousuke had been right in his assessment that he and Keisuke were really similar people with regard to certain things, and now, Takumi knew that one of those certain things was definitely their protectiveness of Ryousuke.

"Who knows," came the cryptic response. "Why does anyone get drunk or high or whatever? To forget what's troubling them, I guess."

"Do you think something like that would work on Ryousuke?"

Keisuke chuckled again. "Doubtful. That's probably why he's frustrated himself into just letting me boss him around tonight after all. He's not really good at drinking, he actually didn't have all that much."

Takumi took another deep breath. He did not want to show anger in the presence of Ryousuke when he returned to the room. All he wanted to do was find out what exactly happened and figure something out. "Okay."

His rival turned to face him; he had apparently resolved to put fury on hold as well by the calmer but still-serious look in his eyes. "I'm gonna leave him to you, now, all right? I got the room across the hall. I'll have to leave to take Kyouko home, but she doesn't live far and I'll come back. Just knock or call if you need anything...if either of you needs anything."

Takumi nodded and did his best to push down the rage as they walked back to the room. Keisuke gave him the cardkey. "Go ahead. Tell Kyouko I'm waiting for her here. This is your deal."

A few seconds later, Kyouko let herself out of the room. "He got dressed for bed and he's asleep already again," she said by way of an update on Onii-san's condition.

"Tch. Goddamnit he got undressed with _my_ girlfriend in the room?! Maybe he's more drunk than I thought," Keisuke snapped in a low voice as he got the other cardkey out for his room.

His girlfriend giggled a little, "Darling, of course I stepped out," she explained with a gentle press of his forearm as he opened the door to the room and flipped on the lights. "Onii-san was a gentleman, have no fear."

"Tch," he repeated as he tossed his duffel bag on the floor and flopped down on the king sized bed with his arm over his face. "Give me a few minutes to calm down, then I'll take you home, okay, Babe?"

"Okay," Kyouko replied, not entirely comfortable alone in a hotel room with her boyfriend, even if the notion was sort of childish. She'd never been to a hotel with _any_ man before, though, and she couldn't help but to be nervous, especially since she found that she didn't entirely want to go home either.

She sat down in a chair and busied herself with the remaining two bottles of water from the cooler bag. "Do you want some water, Darling?"

"Yeah," came the reply as her boyfriend sat up on the bed before rising to take the bottle from her with one hand and lighting up a cigarette with the other. "Thanks, you know, for everything tonight," he remarked as he exhaled and took a sip of water, flicking his ashes onto an ashtray on the nightstand.

Kyouko smiled a little. "I want you to see me as a reliable person."

"I already knew that. You give 100% in everything, and that's what I like about you after all," her boyfriend said, kissing her on the forehead before he returned to sit across from her chair on the bed to finish his cigarette. She wondered why he didn't go back into the room with Takumi-kun and she wondered why Onii-san hadn't made any comments about him being there too once they were inside. Granted, he pretty much fell asleep as soon as he lay down on top of the bed, but he said nothing about how it came to be that he had a packed suitcase and how his downhiller had hangover remedies. She assumed he must have known that Keisuke had set it all up and he was either too drunk or too tired to protest.

But there was something else she couldn't quite put her finger on. It was the same feeling she had back at their house when she found out that Keisuke was intending to include Fujiwara, and that he couldn't tell her everything. She knew the three of them were close, but she thought it would be Darling watching over his brother and Takumi-kun and herself watching over both of them. Instead, he let Takumi-kun go back into the room and it didn't look like her boyfriend had any intention of going to check on Onii-san again himself.

"Darling...can I...ask you something?"

"Sure," he replied after a long sip of water and after leaning toward the nightstand to extinguish his smoke and to reach for the TV remote and channel guide.

"Takumi-kun looked as angry as you did when he saw Onii-san's face in the lobby. I've never seen him look like that…"

Keisuke chuckled and flipped the TV on, tuning it to a sports channel. "That little bastard has a _nasty_ temper."

"Really? He always seemed to be kind of a shy type to me…"

"Don't let his usual space-case state fool you. I'm sure your leader realized it when they raced that Fujiwara is no fucking joke."

She smiled and a little laugh escaped. "Yeah," she said, recalling how stunned Nobuhiko had been when he explained to them that he never even saw that hachi-roku after something like the third corner of the road. "I don't think he actually saw much, but I guess you're right."

"So, what did you want to ask me?" her boyfriend queried as he took one of the pillows and propped it up on the headboard of the bed. He then reclined with his legs crossed at his ankles and stared at the tv with his arms raised and his hands behind his head upon the pillow.

"Um...maybe I shouldn't ask this after all…," Kyouko said, hesitating and thinking that there was no way the thought that had started creeping into her mind could actually be true. If she asked, she might offend Darling, and that she did not want at all, especially now that he had already told her he loved her. But, he was acting as though he never said it; maybe he forgot that he had? Maybe it had slipped out accidentally because he had been so upset at the house? No. He had meant it; there was too much honesty in his gaze for her to doubt him. But, this other nagging question...no. It was too personal. "Never mind. It's nothing."

Keisuke sighed. "Look. I told you that it's not my place to say anything, but I can't stop you if you figure something out on your own. If you figure something out and it's right, I won't deny it or lie to you and say that it isn't. I won't ever lie to you, Kyouko."

There were times when she thought Darling was a mind reader, or, maybe, just maybe, they actually were becoming that close. It had happened naturally, easily, and it was like some sort of street-racer's fairy tale that she could be drawn in so closely to the one person she adored both for his driving skills and for the caring person he was once you broke through the tough-guy exterior.

"You said Onii-san was going to have an arranged marriage when he gets back from studying overseas…"

"That's the plan, I guess," Keisuke said with disgust. "The girl's not bad though, at least from the pictures, but, yeah, he doesn't really want to do that."

"Will he do it?"

Keisuke shrugged. "He might try and delay it for longer and he might be able to for a while, but it's pretty clear that he won't be able to postpone it forever."

Kyouko felt her face heat. "Darling…"

Darling turned his head to face her. "What?"

"Will they, um, do that for you too…?" she whispered, not really wanting to hear the response.

Keisuke sat bolt upright and grasped her hands. " _No_ ," he said firmly. "Look at me."

She looked into his eyes and saw that deep sincerity that she adored.

"I won't let them yank my chain like that. If I have to elope someday to stop that from happening, I'll friggin' do it and they can kiss my ass." He released her hands and looked away. "Shit. Why are we talking about this?" he asked with a nervous laugh. "I'm...not really ready for this conversation."

Kyouko waved her hands in front of her, a blush staining her cheeks, "No, no, I wasn't talking about, I mean, I wasn't pressuring you, I mean, this wasn't about you and me, I mean-"

"Relax, I know. I think we're kind of both on the same page with that sort of thing anyway, aren't we?" he returned with a laugh. "I'm not mature enough to do that properly. Yet."

She smiled, sighing with relief. Even when she embarrassed herself, Darling never chastised her in any way. She really hoped that the "yet" option was really what she thought it might be.

"I'm, you know, a little curious about how Onii-san felt about that 'sort of thing'..." she said, letting her voice trail off as she saw her boyfriend's expression darken slightly.

"He doesn't have the same choices you and I have."

Kyouko nodded. Although she certainly didn't have anyone else she knew in her circle of friends that came from the same type of family as Darling's, she had a cousin who married into one like it and it wasn't always easy for her when it came to her inlaws. She wondered, if that time ever came, if she would experience the same type of thing. But, she put that thought out of her head as she considered Darling's answer.

"So, will he marry this girl?"

"Don't know. He doesn't want to."

"Is it...because he has another girlfriend?"

Keisuke heard the question and wondered how he could respond to it without telling Kyouko anything more than he already suspected she had begun to figure out. He was relieved that the conversation drifted back toward Ryousuke's situation instead of their own, but...Wait. There wasn't a "situation" with them yet, was there? 'Oh. I already told her my feelings anyway, even though I'm sure she already knew. Shit.' He supposed there really was a "situation" with them after all. Oh well.

He exhaled again and looked at his girlfriend who was sitting in the chair with her legs crossed at her ankles and her hands twiddling her thumbs in her lap. She was too adorable sometimes. "He doesn't have a girlfriend," he replied. That should be a safe answer, and it was the truth. He was not going to ever lie to her, and that wasn't a lie, even if it didn't really tell her much.

"Oh."

He watched the gears turning in his girlfriend's head. It really looked like she was on the verge of figuring it out, and he really didn't want to keep things from her, but he also didn't want to betray his brother or Fujiwara like that either. This was their thing, and not really any of his business or hers, except that all four of them were involved now that his Old Man had taken a swing or three against his precious Aniki. It was a tough pinch to be in, not wanting to lie to the girl who had already done so much for him just by being there, yet he couldn't help but be nervous for his brother too despite the fact that his relationship with Takumi was basically over now anyway. Or, he supposed, he thought it would have to be after tonight. "You can ask. I won't lie to you if you're right."

Kyouko studied her boyfriend. Would he think that she was weird for thinking what she was thinking if it wasn't actually true? But, she wanted to understand this secret language that it seemed all three of the Project D principals could speak that she hadn't quite learned. If this was part of Darling's life, she wanted to be a part of it and understand everything fully.

"Okay. I'm going to ask, but please don't get offended because I know it's none of my business..."

Keisuke huffed and smiled a little as his gaze drifted from the TV to the ceiling and he reclined again. "It takes a lot to offend me, Koko, so don't worry about it. You should know that about me by now."

"Yes, I do, but, this isn't about you. I don't want to offend...Onii-san…"

"Just ask."

Kyouko took a deep breath. "Onii-san and Takumi-kun...are they, you know, closer than friends?"

Keisuke closed his eyes and exhaled again. "Yeah," he said simply. "Does it bother you?"

Kyouko was sort of shocked and sort of not-shocked by the admission. Looking back over the limited interactions she had with the other pair, there was nothing overt about anything. They had just seemed like close friends. However, there were a couple of times when she would catch Onii-san staring at the younger driver when he thought no one was paying attention, and she had dismissed it as protectiveness, she supposed, as if Takumi-kun was more like another otouto to him. Now she realized that it wasn't brotherly affection at all, that, at least for Onii-san, he thought of the hachi-roku driver as a _lover._ As for Takumi-kun, she didn't quite know what to make of him. She never saw him looking with that same fondness or protectiveness toward Onii-san, but it was just as possible that she could have missed it, or he displayed things in a way she didn't understand. He apparently wasn't all that shy, according to Darling, and that was hard for her to believe until she recalled his angry expression in the lobby of the resort. Maybe the downhiller was a more complicated person than she first surmised, and maybe that's why both Onii-san and Darling were so close with him and interested in him.

"No, I'm not bothered," she replied at length, willing her voice to keep from sounding too shaky. Then, another realization dawned. "Was that why your Father-"

"Yeah," her boyfriend interrupted softly. "Guess he found out somehow that my brother's not that interested in women. Please don't repeat this to anyone, for both their sakes."

Kyouko was thoughtful. "So that's why your parents want him to get married? So he'll stop seeing Takumi-kun?"

"They want him to get married so he can make a baby. That's all they care about. I'm pretty sure our Mother doesn't know about Aniki, and I didn't think our Father did either, but I guess that's all out in the open between the two of them now."

"You don't think he will do something to Takumi-kun, will he?" she whispered.

Keisuke was silent. "I didn't get the impression earlier form Aniki that our Old Man knew just who it was that he was...seeing. I think it'll be okay but…" his voice trailed off.

"But...what?"

"It was never going to be permanent. They both knew that."

Kyouko didn't understand, but she listened carefully to Darling.

"It's going to be over now, though, for sure."

"So," she began carefully, "is this...the last time they will be together?"

Keisuke shrugged. "I guess so."

Now things made a little more sense. God, Darling was so kind; he must understand the pain his brother must be in in every sense of the word. He must have known that Onii-san would want one last night or two with the person he probably loved, and he wanted it to make it happen for him, despite the awful circumstances. "Darling...you're such a kind person…"

Her boyfriend made a rueful noise. "Not really. I...didn't accept this at first. I gave them both a hard time. But, I was just acting stupid. I tend to act stupid first and think about it later, kind of like what happened with you."

"I understood, though; I did. I act stupid too and I shouldn't have cried like a big baby because I did understand and I still do. After I thought about it, what you said then made perfect sense."

Keisuke turned to look at her. "We're both lucky."

She cocked her head to one side a little. "Lucky?"

"Yeah. Even if we're both stupid, we have the chance to be something. They don't."

She felt a pang in her chest toward Keisuke's words. That look of honesty was there in his eyes, and a look of sadness too. It looked as though Keisuke was having a hard time with the relationship between his teammate and brother ending just as much as she thought the actual pair might have. "Were they happy?" she whispered.

Keisuke studied the ceiling again. "I've never seen my brother look at anyone the way he looks at that guy. I was really jealous of that, from even before they, you know, got together. But now I know that there's probably no one my brother would be happier with than that crazy psycho weirdo."

Kyouko was thoughtful for a moment. "Then I feel badly for his wife."

Her boyfriend shot her a stern look. "Why?"

"Because...her husband will never love her...will he…?"

Keisuke exhaled and sat up to reach for another cigarette. "Probably not," he relented. "I'm not really concerned about whoever they pick for him. She might not love him either, you know? She could probably have someone on the side and Aniki probably wouldn't even care. As long as she has a baby with him, she's fulfilled her obligation and she can do what she wants if she wants to after that."

"That's a cruel way of looking at things, Darling. You're not that type of person."

"But Aniki can be that type of person. I'm not saying it's right, or it's fair, or anything, but he can do it. He could immerse himself in his career and play the part of husband when he needs to. He'll just bring home the paycheck and pay the credit cards and he'll be mostly okay."

"Darling…he doesn't seem like that type of person either, not to me."

"I said he _can_ be. If he ends up married to some bimbo, trust me, he'll be fine with doing whatever he can do to not be annoyed every day. Sure, he'll fake it really well so anyone who doesn't know him well won't really know, but it will be an act. He's actually kind of an asshole, even if he doesn't usually show it in polite company," Keisuke explained with a wry grin.

"Keisuke! That's not very nice."

"I know, I know. I'm just telling you plainly that's kind of how he is. When he doesn't like something, he makes sure he's excellent at whatever it is just to prove a point that he can do it. I'm not saying it makes him happy to be like that, or he even wants to be like that. I'm just saying he's capable of being that way. It sucks for him because our parents don't really care if he's happy or not. If they cared about that, he'd have never retired from racing in the first place, or he'd own his own racing school or something, and...he'd keep Takumi around probably forever if Takumi ever agreed to it."

"Why wouldn't Takumi-kun agree?" Kyouko dared to ask.

Keisuke gave her another serious look. "I don't think he's the same as my brother, honestly. He's...unpredictable. There's part of me that's sort of glad it's over because I don't want to see my brother hurt eventually…"

"Darling...you are kind," she said softly, daring to slide off the chair to kneel in front of him as he finished his water and his cigarette. Now that his hands were free, she took them into her own and clasped them together in his lap. "I think you actually wish you could support them more."

Her boyfriend laughed lightly. "Why is it so damn easy to talk to you? I never talk to anyone about stuff like this. Shit."

Kyouko smiled in turn as she got up. "Do you mind if I use the bathroom?"

"Nah, go ahead and I'll take you home. It's getting late."

"Okay."

Once she returned to the room, Darling had turned off the TV and put on his coat. As usual, he got her coat and helped her on with it. Part of her didn't want to leave, but, unlike the rest of them, she didn't actually have a change of clothes or anything, not even a yukata to sleep in even though the hotel provided one. She sighed a little and gathered her purse to look through it for her keys. She turned the keys over a couple of times in her hand, tracing her fingers over the key to her own FD.

"Ready?"

"Yes, I'm ready. I guess you'll come back here since Onii-san doesn't have his car," she remarked as they exited the room into the corridor.

"Yeah. I don't know what Fujiwara's work schedule is tomorrow, he might have to leave at some point, but I want Aniki to stay until Saturday if possible, just to get him away."

She nodded as they entered the elevator, taking it in silence. When they exited to return back to the FD, she realized that the night had grown even colder and she tried to suppress a shiver, thinking she needed to go into the attic of her house to get down her winter coats and clothes for the change of season to come. No sooner had she had the thought than Keisuke was taking his own jacket off and putting it around her shoulders. "I'll turn the heater on in the car, okay, Babe?" She nodded and her face heated with a warmth of a different sort as though having the jacket draped over her shoulders meant that she was being embraced openly by Darling himself.

They got into the car and, as promised, Darling warmed it up nicely for the short drive back to her house. As they pulled up to the front of it, it looked so small in comparison to the house she had been in earlier, but it also looked like home. Suddenly she had the thought, however, that this was not really home either. Home would be wherever Darling was, and Darling would drive away once she was safely inside. That hotel room could be home for one night, couldn't it?

"Keisuke…"

"Hmm?"

"Um...would it...be okay…"

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly with concern shadowing his expression. No, she was doing this all wrong. She couldn't be half-assed about this, that wasn't her. Even Darling knew that about her. She knew what she wanted.

"Nothing," she said seriously with all the determination she could muster as she looked at him with an intensity she hoped he would see. He must have, because his own expression changed to that serious and piercing gaze she loved so much. "I'm going inside, but I'm not staying," she asserted firmly. "I'm going in, getting my things and my car and I'm going to follow you back there."

Darling's eyes widened a little. Had she been too forward this time after all? Seconds later, his expression softened into that kind look he showed only to her. "Are you sure about that?" he whispered.

"Yes."

"You're not doing it so I don't run off to beat my Old Man to a pulp, are you?"

"No."

He looked at her seriously again. "I...might not be able to hold back if you make this decision. You need to know that…"

She unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned over to kiss her boyfriend. He accepted the kiss, gently rolling his tongue over hers a few times before they parted. "Takahashi Keisuke, please take care of me."

With that, she opened the door to the car and walked into her house. The expression on her Darling's face when she asked him to take care of her was serious, piercing, and full of desire. For her. She ran up the stairs and threw together a simple outfit of jeans and a blouse and added a cardigan sweater for the next day and sleeping clothes for the night. She mildly cursed herself for not taking her friend's advice about upgrading her lingerie, but she didn't have time to think about that. She went into the bathroom and grabbed her essentials and tossed them into a travel bag she used for family trips. She tossed that in turn into her tote bag and picked up her purse in record time because she knew Darling would be waiting for her outside. He wouldn't leave until she was safely in her own car with the engine started ready to go.

She went back downstairs and left a quick note to her mother before leaving the house and locking the door behind her. She took one more look at Darling before getting into her own FD and bringing the strong single turbo rotary engine to life. "I love you, Darling."


	46. Chapter 46

Hotel Miyama, Chichibu, Saitama, Friday 12:00 AM

Takumi was sitting stretched out on top of the bed in the hotel room. It turned out that this place was actually pretty upscale if he thought about it. But, he was sort of dozing off listening to the even breathing of he who slept in the next bed over and he didn't really want to think at all, since his thoughts kept returning to the marks on Ryousuke's face.

To numb his mind further, he'd turned on a late-night replay of a European soccer game and he focused on the ball as it was kicked back and forth between the teams, the flickering of the entertainment box the only light source in a room he had darkened so his lover could sleep it off and not wake up to blinding overhead lights.

When he had entered the room after talking to Keisuke, Ryousuke was already asleep, or, rather, he was passed out; he had changed into his sleeping pants and a t-shirt, but he was laying on top of the bed. It sure as hell wasn't easy getting him under the covers either, but he knew Ryousuke tended to get cold at night, so he made the effort, slightly annoyed that the guy didn't even bother to wake up and help.

No. He wasn't pissed at Ryousuke. Not much, anyway. Okay, he _was_ pissed because Ryousuke _again_ had decided not to tell him something vitally important. He had thought they had been over this enough already and he thought his lover finally got it, because it hadn't happened in quite a while. Apparently, whatever happened earlier caused him not to care about that.

But, Takumi ceded, Ryousuke definitely wasn't himself. He was sleeping off being drunk, _really_ drunk in fact, and Takumi supposed that the shock of getting slapped or whatever might have drove him to it. Clearly, he couldn't have expected his Father to hit him. Didn't he say that it was Keisuke who had been the target of their Father's abuse and never had he experienced it himself? Takumi knew for sure he remembered that right.

 _So what happened to cause his Father to get so angry with him?_

The more he thought about that question, the more he didn't want to think about it. Keisuke had told him not to be pissed at his brother, so he was trying really hard not to be. He opened one of the bottles of Pocari Sweat and drank it down himself to try and keep himself awake. Ryousuke hated the stuff anyway, but Takumi went to the convenience store on autopilot and just picked up what his Father usually requested to help his own mornings after, not really thinking about whether or not that would be what Ryousuke would want because he hadn't thought the stuff was for Ryousuke in the first place.

The energy drink wasn't working, so he ventured to leave the room to return to the vending alcove for a couple of cans of coffee. He brought them back and popped one of them open as he returned to lounge on the bed, not really worrying too much that the noise would wake the other.

He exhaled and watched the game for another quarter as the coffee began to do its job. A few more plays, a yellow card, and a few more sips had lapsed when he heard the sound of the other bed's occupant shifting in his sleep. Takumi followed the sound with his gaze and it looked like Ryousuke might be waking up a little. He'd rolled over onto his back and raised a hand to his head with a little groan.

 _Yeah, he's probably got a splitting headache about now. Time for the Kabakawa A, I guess._

"Are you awake?" Takumi asked softly.

Another little groan. "God, I hope not. My head is killing me."

 _Okay. He sounds like his normal self again. Grumpy, as expected, but that's good, I guess._

Takumi got off the bed and dug through the convenience store bag for the Kabakawa A, the jar of umeboshi, and the bottle of pain reliever.

"Here. Drink this."

The dark eyes opened up a tiny bit and he slowly focused. "It's not more Pocari is it?" he grumbled.

"No. It's hangover tonic. Looks like you need it."

The elder exhaled and attempted to sit up a little in the bed. Takumi noticed that he winced when he bent at the waist and he thought that it was an odd place to have hangover pain; maybe he was just going to puke. He didn't know, because he'd never seen Ryousuke drink himself drunk, so he dismissed it as some sort of reaction to fatigue. He also hoped that there wasn't going to be a migraine. He knew he got them sometimes and he also knew his lover got pissed whenever it happened because it meant he had to stay put and couldn't get any work done until it passed. Takumi hoped it was just a normal hangover like the Shitty Old Man sometimes got, and he'd take the tonic and a couple of pills and be somewhat better in a pretty short amount of time.

Once Ryousuke had sort-of sat up, Takumi unscrewed the cap of the hangover tonic and gave it to the med-student who stared at it skeptically. "You know this stuff doesn't actually work, right? It's mostly water and fewer electrolytes than Pocari."

Takumi frowned a little. "My Dad swears by it and he drinks a lot more than you do. Just drink it and don't argue with me about it," he said a little sternly.

Ryousuke exhaled again. "How much of it am I supposed to drink?" he asked quietly.

"The whole thing," the younger replied, "And take a couple of these while you're at it," he added, handing over two painkillers. "My Dad also swears that umeboshi helps hangovers, so, you can have that if you want."

Ryousuke nodded, popped the pills, and started to drink the tonic. He was pretty sure his stomach wouldn't be able to handle pickled plums at the moment, but he drank the whole bottle of tonic and made a disgusted face as he put the empty container on the nightstand. "All right. That was officially worse than the Pocari."

Takumi chuckled a little. "Medicine isn't supposed to taste good. I shouldn't have to tell an almost-doctor that."

"This is hardly medicine," Ryousuke remarked, "But I appreciate that you bought it for me. There's something to be said for the placebo effect, so, if I think it will work, then it will. Thank you."

 _Yeah, he's almost sober all right. Jerk._

"Why don't you take a hot shower? You'll feel better."

Ryousuke considered for a moment before agreeing with him. "Yeah. I'll be right back."

He managed to get out of bed, pull a small travel kit out of his suitcase, and shuffle off to the bathroom. A couple of minutes later, Takumi heard the water running so he sat back down to lounge again on the other bed and he returned his attention to the soccer game.

A short while later, the elder returned re-dressed in his sleeping clothes looking a bit more like himself. He went to sit in the chair beside the table and pulled a cigarette from the pack Keisuke had left there. Takumi wasn't really looking at him directly; he kept his attention focused on the soccer game on the television as Ryousuke smoked.

"I guess Keisuke asked you to come here," he offered at length between drags of his cigarette.

"More like told me," Takumi replied curtly, not looking at his lover.

"Ah."

One of the teams scored a goal and the camera panned to the throngs of screaming fans in the bleachers. Takumi had always thought that soccer fans in other countries were totally insane and that nothing in Japan would compare to that until they did their Tokyo trip and he learned that there were plenty of insane screaming fans here at home as well. He knew that he would be doing rallies overseas and he let his mind wander to thinking about what would happen if he got sent to America while Ryousuke was there studying. Would he be able to see him?

 _Probably not. America is huge. I might not even go there at all._

His thoughts were interrupted by Ryousuke's voice. "How much did Keisuke tell you?" he asked quietly.

Takumi shrugged as the game telecast went to a commercial for beer. "He told me who hit you but he didn't tell me what for. I'm not happy because you should have told me first instead of getting yourself drunk to the point he had to kidnap you."

"I just wanted to drink," the elder replied, somewhat defensively. "It's a rare impulse for me, but I didn't feel like thinking tonight, so I thought if I drank enough I wouldn't have to. And I didn't want you, or any of the three of you for that matter, to see me like that."

"What about what I want?" Takumi snapped. "Isn't that important?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that Ryousuke put out his cigarette and put his fingertips to the bridge of his nose. "Of course it's important," he whispered as he moved his hand and took off the cap to his unfinished bottle of water from before and drank the remaining liquid.

Takumi sighed. "I told your brother I wouldn't get pissed at you but you make it really hard sometimes, Ryousuke. I thought you had figured out that I'm not some girlbaby that you need to constantly shield things from. You haven't done it in a while, so I thought we had an understanding about that. But, it looks like you still don't get it."

"You're right. I don't."

Takumi was a little surprised at the admission, but he couldn't look at the elder because every time he did and he saw the bruise on his jaw and the line of dried blood on his lip, he became furious all over again. "Keisuke and I both want to beat the living shit out of your dad. Just letting you know that."

If Ryousuke noticed that he'd left off the honorific in reference to his brother, he didn't comment. He pulled another cigarette out of the pack and lit it. Takumi had come to learn that his lover tended to chain smoke when he was stressed, and smoked less when he was relaxed. Clearly, he was still very stressed out. "I know. Please don't do that."

"What happened?"

The man sighed. "Late Wednesday night, or, rather, early yesterday morning, I received an email from the Medical School I'll be attending in America. I found out that my Father changed my departure date."

Takumi finally turned to his lover. "When." The word cut like a blade through the room as more of a demand than a question, but he had the sinking feeling that the time they had was not going to be extended, and was, more than likely, about to be reduced.

"My flight leaves on the 28th of this month."

Takumi said nothing. What could he say to that? He knew that this "relationship" was not permanent. He couldn't suddenly start begging Ryousuke to stay as if he was some girl who didn't want her boyfriend to leave her behind. However, he couldn't help but to be shocked at just how soon he would be leaving now, and he felt a tightening in his chest that he had always known he'd feel when the time finally came for Ryousuke to go. He studied his lover's face; the sadness he'd sometimes noticed in the elder's eyes during Project D was back. "You're still not telling me everything," he declared, willing his voice to remain steady.

"They arranged an omiai for me. For this Sunday."

 _What?!_

He turned away again and looked down at his hands, willing them to stay unclenched in his lap. "So you're getting married."

"Not before I leave," the elder said firmly, "It's only a meeting." Seeing no reaction from Takumi, he added, "But, the possibility that it will happen upon my return is quite real."

"Do you know her?" he whispered.

"Peripherally. I remember her from when I was a kid, but I think the last time I actually saw her was when I was about fifteen. She attended a boarding school in France. That's the only thing I really remember about her from then."

Takumi remained silent. Of course he knew about arranged marriages, but he thought that was the stuff of historical dramas and he never really gave it much thought. Marriage wasn't even on his radar; it's not like he had a mother in the house, so apparently marriage was not a big deal to his dad either. It had been a total non-entity for him, especially an arranged marriage, but he acutely understood now that those things did still exist, and Ryousuke's family was one of those who still believed in doing it even today.

"I…," Ryousuke began again, "went to talk to my Father to ask him to change his mind about leaving sooner and to express my disinterest in this omiai. He denied my requests."

"And he beat you up," Takumi spat.

Ryousuke exhaled and put out his cigarette. "That happened for another reason," he said with a soft voice.

Takumi looked again toward the elder, searching for something in his expression. It was his normal neutral one, although he could see the anguish in his eyes and he knew what it meant. The final seconds of the soccer game were ticking down on the TV and the striker for the leading team stood in the middle of the pitch with his foot on the ball waiting for the clock to run out.

 _Looks like your secret's out, right Ryousuke?_

"Does he know…"

"He doesn't know it's you. We need to keep it that way," Ryousuke replied with a serious tone.

"We can be more careful until you leave, I guess," the younger supplied.

"No. We need to stop."

Takumi turned the TV off. He felt the color drain from his face as he turned on the bedside lamp to its lowest setting so that the light that emitted from it was barely more than a nightlight would be.

' _We need to stop.'_

He heard more than he saw Ryousuke get up from his chair and approach the bed where he had been sleeping before. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his lover sit down on the side of the bed, facing him and waiting for him to say something. Wait. He wasn't his lover anymore.

' _We need to stop.'_

"I'm gonna use the shower," Takumi declared, almost jumping up from the bed. He needed to get out of there, if only to escape into the relative privacy of the bathroom because he didn't want to talk or think, but his feet seemed to be firmly planted again as his thoughts reeled from this too-soon reality, so he only managed to make it a few feet away from the bed. Even though he knew Ryousuke was expecting him to say something and to think rationally, he wasn't being rational right now. He always understood that a relationship like this wasn't meant to be looked upon with approval; he questioned the wrong or right of it a hundred times himself as he struggled with what Ryousuke had told him once was a form of something called internalized homophobia, or some such psychobabble he didn't quite understand. He had grown even more confused about that explanation because, after he read an article about it online using one of the laptops Ryousuke had let him borrow to watch Rally videos, it seemed that _Ryousuke_ was the one who suffered from that more than even he did. He knew that the elder's family wouldn't tolerate it. He knew that almost from the start. If they would have, Ryousuke would never have to have had this type of secret life, especially for how long he had been keeping it up. By Takumi's own calculations based on the things Ryousuke had shared with him, he figured he had probably known this about himself for even longer than he had admitted. That meant he'd kept this from the people closest to him for many years, and Takumi was sure it had to be getting harder for him to do that for his family's sake. And, even if the Shitty Old Man hadn't kicked his ass over it, Takumi was sure that he wasn't thrilled. But, at least he left him mostly alone to do as he pleased, even if that meant he knew his son was sleeping with his team leader. All Takumi wanted to do was to grab his keys and find out where _that_ man lived and give the good doctor a taste of his own damn medicine. Instinctively, he knew Ryousuke didn't fight back. He _knew_ it and it pissed him off. Even when his own Father clocked him, he'd at least bat the hand away to remind the man that he was grown and didn't have to take it if he didn't want to, and it worked because the Shitty Old Man recognized that he was an adult and he hadn't seriously raised a hand in corporal punishment of him in the last couple of years. Apparently, Dr. Takahashi didn't care that his son was grown when he hit him, and Ryousuke fucking _allowed it_ which pissed Takumi off even more because, to him, it meant that Ryousuke thought their relationship was _wrong_ deep down after all, no matter how much he professed to him that it wasn't.

The only problem with that theory, though, was the fact that Takumi believed he honestly loved Ryousuke, and he also believed that Ryousuke honestly loved him too. So was something that honest really wrong? He had come to think that it wasn't, but obviously, to Ryousuke's Father, it was. Facts and theories both _sucked_.

"Takumi-"

The younger heard the voice but he ignored it. He freed himself from thinking, grabbed his duffel bag, went into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him.

Ryousuke's head was still pounding as he sat there on the bed. He reached for the bottle of over-the-counter pain reliever and took another one, not caring that the recommended four hours between doses had barely begun, nevermind that it hadn't lapsed.

As the water turned on in the shower, he looked around the room and saw the key card sitting on the room's dresser. He took it and exited to look to see where the vending machines were located so he could buy some coffee. They had to be somewhere because he saw one full and one empty can in the room which Takumi had apparently purchased, ostensibly to keep himself awake.

He found the vending area shortly and bought two more cans of coffee. Honestly, it was just too adorable that Takumi had brought umeboshi and hangover tonic with him, despite that he was sure only old wives' tales insisted that those things worked. Granted, he had very little experience with being totally intoxicated because he usually didn't like the sensation of being unable to control his mind and body perfectly, but tonight he had needed just that. The vestigial pain of his Father's physical blows was aching away now that he'd mostly sobered up and he really didn't want Takumi to know the extent of it given how pissed off he was. He'd seen it for himself when he had showered and there were several bruises visible on his arms and abdomen that were carefully hidden underneath his t-shirt. However, he had to admit that his head did feel clearer after drinking that abhorrent tonic, so maybe it wasn't 100% fake. Or maybe it was having a very strong placebo effect after all.

He also wondered who had packed his overnight bag with such care; if it had been either of the Aces, he thought, things would have been just thrown in haphazardly and nothing would have made sense, and something like socks or a razor would probably have been forgotten. With a tinge of embarrassment, he assumed that Kyouko had packed for him. 'Oh well. We'll be family anyway someday if my assumptions are correct.' At least what she packed matched and it was folded delicately instead of being rolled up into a ball and tossed in a la Keisuke.

He walked back into the room sipping from one of the coffee cans; the water had stopped but Takumi had not emerged. What a _mess_. This was the result of careening into that Danger Zone, damning the consequences the whole way.

Now that the consequences of his actions were all too clear, it was so much worse than he'd even imagined it could be. He brought the cigarettes and ashtray to the nightstand and sat on the bed cross-legged as he sipped the coffee. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

He heard the door open and Takumi re-entered the room having replaced his t-shirt, sweater, and jeans with a different surfing t-shirt, cotton shorts, and a green, unzipped hoodie sweatshirt. He placed his bag on the floor inside the room's small closet as he toweled his hair dry; he picked up the other can of coffee and popped it open before sitting on the other bed. "I'm not angry with you anymore, okay?" he said after a few more seconds of drying his hair one-handed with the towel then draping it on his shoulder to run his hand through to put his hair somewhat back into place. He then folded the towel and put it on the nightstand.

A wave of relief came over the elder as he heard the words, although he had the thought that the younger one was trying to torture him with how hot he looked in what Ryousuke could only think of as dormroom fashion. No one else could make clothes like that so maddeningly sexy. "Okay," he replied evenly, pushing the thoughts away. God, it felt like it had been ages since he had to do that with regard to his Downhill Ace, and it was so much more difficult to do it now.

"I'm just...angry at the whole thing. If I was a girl, it wouldn't be as bad as it is now."

Ryousuke shook his head a little. "If you were a girl, it would have been a lot harder for me to be like this with you," he said quietly, "but, perhaps, I still would be."

The younger only reacted to the statement with a slight frown before taking another sip of coffee. "You told me that even if our relationship has to change, we'd still have a relationship. Do you still want that?"

"Of course I do."

"Then, starting tomorrow, we do that," the downhiller said firmly with determination in those beautifully changeable eyes. "And, since it's already Friday, that means we don't start that until Saturday."

"What are you saying?"

"Keisuke booked us through until Saturday. So you're stuck here because I'm pretty sure neither of us is going to drive you home today."

Ryousuke's alarm bells started tolling in his head, aggravating what was left of his headache. "I need to get back today."

"Why?" Takumi asked.

"My Father told me-"

" _Fuck that!"_ Takumi interrupted hotly. "I don't give a _shit_ what that guy told you to do!"

"He gave me until today to end our relationship," he calmly explained, ignoring the younger one's outburst, "and he made it clear that I am no longer allowed to leave his home until I depart unless it is for work or school."

"What?!" Takumi almost shouted in disbelief. "You mean, he's _grounding_ you?! How fucking _old_ are you?!"

Ryousuke chuckled in spite of himself. "Fourteen? Maybe fifteen? Somewhere in there, I suppose."

Takumi shot up from the bed again and turned away from him, his hot temper flaring once more. "That's not even funny. Even I don't let the Shitty Old Man give me that kind of bullshit, not that he even would. I'm fucking grown, and if _I_ am, then you sure as hell should be."

"You are forgetting something I have to think about that you do not," Ryousuke said firmly.

"Oh yeah?" Takumi challenged, facing him again, his eyes churning away in all those impossible colors that even the dim light of the room couldn't obscure.

"My Mother would be devastated if she ever found out about this."

He watched as Takumi recoiled somewhat, as if suddenly remembering that usually people had their mothers to think about. Ryousuke didn't fault him; as far as he knew, the teenager had never even met his mother, or, at least, he had no memory of her. Naturally, he wouldn't think about that. The Ace furrowed his brow, but he seemed to will his anger aside with a couple of calming breaths. "From what my friends have told me, usually Moms are more understanding about things than Dads," he said quietly.

"Sometimes."

"Of course I don't know if that's true," Takumi admitted, "but there was a pretty neighbor lady who was a classmate's mom. She always looked out for me when we were little, because she knew I didn't have my own mother at home and my Dad was busy with the business." With a chuckle he added, "When her son and I were in kindergarten, I used to pretend that she was my mother and when they had us draw pictures of our family, I drew her with Dad and my classmate in a baby carriage even though he was the same age as me."

"You've never talked to me about this before," Ryousuke remarked with a little smile and a gentle voice, "I've respected that, even though I have always wondered what your thoughts were on this subject."

Takumi exhaled and relaxed a little more. He returned to sit across from him on the other bed again and took a sip from his coffee can before hunching over a bit and resting his elbows on his knees. "There's not really anything to say. After kindergarten, the other kids figured out I was pretending to have a mom and then they just started teasing me for being a bastard. The lady would let me cry about it at their house, even though her own kid didn't like me, because I didn't want to cry in front of my Dad. Whenever I did cry at home, he'd punish me for letting people pick on me, then drink after I went to bed. I just sort of stopped interacting with anyone after that, until Itsuki started talking to me in second year of junior high."

"I'm sorry that happened to you. Children can be cruel; I don't like them," Ryousuke affirmed, daring to reach to move an errant strand of Takumi's dampened coconut-scented hair away from his forehead, but allowing the younger to brush him off to do it himself. Takumi's expression became more thoughtful though before he spoke again.

"I've never told anyone this, not even Itsuki," he began, his voice barely audible, "I think my mother's name might have been Jenny, but I'm not sure."

"Why do you think that?" Ryousuke implored.

"Because I hear the old man mumbling that name sometimes when he gets drunk, or in his sleep," he replied with a shrug as he sat up fully again. "Jenny could be a hostess my dad fooled around with once for all I know though. I have no idea."

"You must look like her," the elder whispered. "She must have been very beautiful, this 'Jenny'."

"Don't say weird things like that."

The words hung in the air for a moment as Ryousuke absorbed all that Takumi had told him; it was something he shared only to _him,_ something he could protect that showed the trust they had between them. Even when Takumi was angry with him, he still had that trust, and that was one of the things Ryousuke had come to treasure knowing how difficult it must have been for the younger man to have it in the first place. It also gave Ryousuke pause to know that his Ace hadn't had it very easy growing up with his unusual family situation. He himself didn't like children; they were so hard to deal with and they frustrated him. It bothered him that they had teased Takumi over something he couldn't possibly have had any fault or control over. Kids didn't realize how much their words hurt; he'd experienced it at times himself. How many times had he been called "pretty little rich boy" or some such thing growing up, the phrase full of insinuations which only made him more insecure about the fact that they were mostly true? It was for almost a full two months, a _lifetime_ for a seventh grader, that he and a classmate were teased mercilessly for one experimental kiss that no one was supposed to see behind the athletics equipment shed at school, done under a mutually agreed upon pretense of "practicing" for girls because that's what they told themselves it was. Thankfully, it was mostly forgotten over the summer break as most things are with children, and his parents never found out, but the boy didn't talk to him anymore after that. Maybe the lesson he learned then about having to be secretive wasn't the right one, but he had learned it all the same.

"My Mother can't know about me, about us," Ryousuke said gently. "She's unwell. Her mental state is...fragile most days."

Takumi shrugged. "I'm not planning on telling her," he responded flatly.

"My Father said he wouldn't tell her either. I need to be grateful for that consideration."

That statement earned a scowl from Takumi as he took another sip of coffee. "So you let him hit you and ground you like a brat in exchange for that? Tch."

"I need to do everything he asks of me now. I'm not sure if I'll even be able to continue to attend street battles anymore, even as a spectator in the gallery. My options are gone."

Takumi drained the last of his coffee and silently went to the bathroom again where Ryousuke could hear him brush his teeth. He came back into the room and drew down the covers of the other bed, ostensibly to get underneath them to combat the slight chill in the room. He got under the covers and looked upward toward the ceiling before turning away from him to face the other side of the room. "Do me a favor, then," he said softly.

"If I can…"

"Don't invite me to your wedding. I don't think I could stand to be there."

"Takumi-"

"Just promise me you won't make me attend. That's all I'm asking. Plan it for a day when I'm out of the country on a rally or something."

"Takumi, please…"

"You won't give me today, so I'm not gonna give you _that_ day."

He wouldn't make Takumi suffer through his wedding; he understood that it would be too cruel. Their friends who knew about them and Keisuke would understand why he wasn't there, and his other relatives didn't know him, other than Tsugumi who only knew his name. His bride wouldn't know him.

And he wouldn't have to know the person he loved was there listening and watching as he pledged marriage vows to another.

Ryousuke rose and went to the bathroom to brush his own teeth. When he was finished, he looked at his reflection in the mirror, tilting his head a little to see how the bruise appeared. It still looked pretty bad, but it wasn't large. His split lip would be healed over in a day, or it should be mostly healed by Sunday. His Mother wouldn't return until Sunday, and, even if his Father discovered he wasn't at home, what could he really do about it anyway except hit him again and berate him some more? Wasn't one final day to be with Takumi as his lover worth at least that much? What would he have given to have had one final day with Kaori, even if she had gone on to marry Houjou Rin in the end anyway? Houjou probably would have given his life to have one more day with her; he had loved her just that much, and probably his love was deeper than his own love for her had been.

Kaori was gone, and there was nothing more he could ever do about that. But Takumi was here.

Fine then. Decision made.

He returned to the bedroom and looked at the young man in the bed who was laying there with his eyes still open. "I won't invite you to my wedding."

Takumi closed his eyes briefly before opening them again. "Good," he grumbled.

"And I won't go home today."

Takumi sat up in the bed, allowing the covers to fall away. "Better."

Ryousuke sat down next to him and placed his hand to the side of Takumi's beautiful face. He didn't retreat. "Today, you are still my Lover."

"Okay."

"And for all of my tomorrows, you will still be loved."

Takumi closed his eyes again. Ryousuke drew him closer to his lips by sliding his hand down the flushed cheek until two fingers reached his lover's chin. He gently pressed their mouths together. When they parted, he whispered, "I know I haven't said it since that time on Akina, but,... I do love you, Takumi…"

"I know that without you telling me," the younger responded simply.

"My _only_ regret about what we have is that we have to leave it behind...but, I need you to promise me something, or we won't be able to move forward…"

Takumi kept his eyes closed, as if he wasn't sure he wanted to hear what Ryousuke was going to ask him to do, or maybe, he wasn't sure he could agree to it. "What…," he finally said in a low voice.

"If you have a Dream, don't let anyone, especially _me_ , make you give it up. Ever."

The younger one's eyes shot open with an anguished look. "Ryousuke-"

"Promise me," the elder interrupted, grasping his hands firmly to erase that look from his expression,"that you won't hold yourself back from anything...or anyone…." God, how it hurt to say that; but it needed to be said. He had never had the chance to say it to Kaori, the only other person he loved before, and he was not going to make that same mistake twice. His lover closed his eyes again but his lips turned into a thin expressionless line. The last thing Ryousuke wanted was for Takumi to ever have a thought in the back of his mind that he would need approval to move on, either in his career, or with another lover. Although he didn't want to admit it, maybe Takumi's Father had been right about cutting him off completely after this. He didn't want to, but, would the younger truly be able to stay close with him but not too close? It was the final unknown about the Downhiller that was tearing Ryousuke up inside, the fact that he didn't want to be responsible for Takumi not allowing himself to continue to be free. If that were to occur, Ryousuke thought he might never forgive himself. He needed to hear that Takumi was committed to taking all the happiness in his life that he completely deserved. He needed him to have that happiness that Kaori denied herself those two years ago, because Ryousuke thought he might not be able to bear the loss if he didn't. He didn't want to spend another two years with another heavy burden over another lover.

He wasn't sure if he could handle it himself regardless, but, with time, he would force himself to do it. He _had_ to, if only to earn the privilege of continuing to watch and support Takumi's racing career. This was where the similarity between this relationship to his involvement with Kaori diverged; after all, it was not possible to see Kaori living a life separate from him but, with Takumi, it would be there every day as plain as a highway sign that he was out there living the Dream without him.

And that was exactly as it should be.

The Ace opened his eyes and Ryousuke could see another challenge behind his gaze. "I'll promise that tomorrow. But you won't regret giving me today," he said in a voice that was downright _sultry_. He couldn't help but to feel the jolt of excitement that passed through him toward those words. For one more day, he wouldn't push that feeling away.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah."

Before Ryousuke knew what was happening, his lover grabbed the nape of his neck and pulled him in roughly for a demanding kiss that was full of his promises.

 _I don't care anymore. I love him and I'm doing this. If this is the last time, so be it._

Takumi broke the kiss and traveled with his lips to the bruised jaw, barely brushing the marred flesh before trailing feathery touches to Ryousuke's ear. "Am I going to see more of those?" he asked seriously but breathlessly as he felt the elder's cool hand on his thigh travelling underneath the hem of his shorts.

Ryousuke said nothing, but Takumi could feel that he tensed when he heard the question. In response, he reached down and started to tug on the elder's shirt when he felt hands on his own hands squeezing tightly. "Don't…"

Takumi stopped trying to remove the t-shirt and released his grip, putting his hands flat on the mattress as Ryousuke released his hands in turn. "I won't get mad…I promise…," he said as soothingly as possible between a couple of tender kisses to his lover's mouth, suckling lightly over the place where he could feel the split lip with his tongue. "But I need to feel your body," he breathed before he even realized the words escaped.

 _Did I just say that?! Oh well, it's the truth. I want him._

Ryousuke couldn't believe what he had heard. His lover usually didn't say specifically forward things like that, but, when he did, the sound of them went straight to his groin. As he registered the words, he opened his eyes and saw Takumi remove his hoodie and toss it on the floor. The temperature in the room had lost the chill it had before, and it looked like his lover was about to raise it even more.

"Lay back," the younger one commanded softly as he shifted to move on top. Ryousuke slid back onto the pillows, not speaking and never breaking eye-contact with those churning, stormy eyes of the man he had come to love and desire so much. The next sensation he felt was soft lips on his, and then immediately more firm, Takumi's insistent tongue probing deeply, deep enough so that his tongue swiped the roof of his mouth and the inside of his cheek before his own tongue was captured by the partner's lips and drawn out of his mouth slightly with a breathy moan. He felt the Beautiful One part his legs with one of his own and press himself down as he thrust his thigh roughly upward into Ryosuke's groin with enough pressure to get him instantly harder.

"Takumi…"

His lover ignored him as he continued to press with his thigh and lay biting nips down to the v-neck of his t-shirt. He slid one hand under the shirt and splayed the palm flat against his chest before dragging it down in tantalizing brushes over the pectorals, then moving to his waist where he tightened his grip and claimed his mouth again.

"Don't go anywhere," Takumi directed with a half-smirk as he broke the kiss and left the bed abruptly to get something out of his bag and drop it on the floor alongside the bed. When he returned to his former position over him, Ryousuke watched as he reached behind with one arm to pull his t-shirt over his head before fully stripping it off and throwing it somewhere. God, he was so gorgeous. Immediately Ryousuke's hands were on that sculpted chest, memorizing with his fingertips every contour from his collarbone to the tight six-pack of his abs, committing everything to memory so that he could always have this moment in his thoughts to treasure with all of the other amazing moments they had shared together.

He was lost in the sensations of soft skin on his fingers and the insistent pressure of Takumi's thigh on his groin when he felt his lover's hands underneath his shirt again. "Take it off, Ryousuke," the younger breathed as he leaned down for another kiss, tender this time, reassuring him that he wouldn't get angry.

Takumi leaned back once more to allow Ryousuke to raise himself enough to remove the shirt. He got it half way off and Takumi did the rest, tossing the shirt somewhere on the bed or off it, Ryousuke didn't know, because the downhiller never stopped looking into his eyes. It must have been his way of reassuring him, or maybe he was trying to convince himself he wouldn't get pissed if he saw any other bruises, because he said, "I'm going to look now."

Ryousuke nodded once and couldn't help but to close his eyes and turn his head when he heard a small gasp from his lover when he saw the blemishes to his abdomen and upper arms in the dim light of the room.

 _What the fuck?! This is way more than a slap to the face, Ryousuke! You should have punched right back and I know you didn't! Wait. I can't get mad. I told him I wouldn't. Goddamnit!_

Takumi looked toward the elder's face, but he had turned his head away from him. He leaned down, resting on his elbows, pushing away the rage he felt in response to what he had seen on his lover's body. He used both hands to gently turn Ryousuke's head to face him, but it was as though the elder was unwilling to allow it as he held his breath and squeezed his eyes closed. "I'm not mad," Takumi said, laying a chaste kiss on his lover's lips as he willed the fury to subside. "I'm not mad," he repeated, "So, look at me…"

Ryousuke's eyes fluttered open with that intensity and desire Takumi had grown to love and which he wanted never to forget. He leaned down and kissed the bruised jaw line, the split lip, before parting his lover's lips with his tongue in a gentle caress. "You're giving me today, so I'm taking responsibility," he declared as he drew back and slid his body down Ryousuke's chest trailing his lips and tongue over every bruise, erasing the ache and igniting the nerve endings with a passionate fire instead.

Ryousuke threaded his fingers through Takumi's soft, damp hair, his breaths becoming hitched as his lover moved a hand to his thigh and squeezed firmly through his sleeping pants. "What are you doing…?" he whispered as the younger man returned to kiss him again on the lips and to slide his hand under the waistband of the pants at the hip.

"I told you…," Takumi replied huskily, "I'm taking responsibility…," he said as the hand traveled underneath the waistband from his hip to encircle his length within a strong grasp, tugging his body in a slow and sensual rhythm that had Ryousuke pulling his lover's hair to make him lean down for a deep kiss as he fisted the bedclothes with his other hand in a need for more.

"You...don't have to…," the elder said as the kiss lapsed and as he released his hold on his lover's hair.

Takumi's response was to grip his length more firmly with a few insistent jerks that sent Ryousuke's eyes rolling and his back arching a little off the bed, a move which the downhiller immediately took advantage of by quickly divesting him of his sleeping pants before taking him fully into his mouth.

"Oh….Lover…," Ryousuke heard himself whisper as the wet heat surrounded his body; God that sexy young thing had gotten so damn _good_ at this that it was all he could do to keep from thrusting to completion into that hot mouth right then and there. The thought alone made his body throb and the only reply was for Takumi to add his hand, fingers curled tightly around the base of of his erection to form a tight ring of pressure that caused massive pleasure laced with erotic pain; dear Lord, when had he learned to do _that_? The sensation was so intense that it made his toes curl and his head to spin.

 _Call me "Lover" again..._

"Enough…I can't…", Ryousuke breathed, but Takumi ignored his pleas as if determined to drive him insane with passion and desire. He felt a slight sensation of motion on the bed and turned to look to see his lover blindly searching for something on the floor beside it while never leaving him with his mouth. Ryousuke reached his arm down and found what he thought the younger was looking for and picked it up, placing it roughly into his lover's searching hand. "Hurry…"

A low hum escaped the younger man, the vibration of it on his oversensitized body was almost too much to bear until he felt cool gel on fingers playing dangerously close to his entrance, tracing seductively around but not quite going in. This was some kind of erotic torture, Ryousuke was sure of it; did Takumi even have a clue about what he was doing? Did he have a fucking clue at all how much he was able to rile him up and destroy his control every single goddamn time they were in bed? Maye he did and maybe he didn't, but whatever was going through the teenager's mind, Ryousuke wasn't about to argue with it, not when one of those fingers suddenly pushed in more roughly than he was expecting, nearly sending him over the edge.

It was all he could do to keep himself from crying out; or maybe he didn't succeed, he wasn't really sure, because another finger entered him and Takumi's mouth was suddenly gone from his length and crashing down on his lips feverishly demanding of him to let whatever sound he wanted to make escape. He knew a moan did escape from his own mouth into his lover's which seemed to encourage the younger one even more to deepen the penetration and the kiss before he suddenly went down on him again with a frantic pace of forceful suction that was full of his intent to bring him to completion.

Takumi pressed in firmly with his fingers and worked his partner's length with his mouth and hummed approval when Ryousuke could not help but to start thrusting into that hot cavern searching for his release.

"Dear God...Takumi…"

 _Let me hear you say "Lover" for one more day..._

Takumi relaxed the tempo with his mouth to a slow and sensual one, but kept the pace with his fingers that created such a unique sensation of frustration and fruition for which Ryousuke was totally unprepared. He felt every nerve ending prickling with arousal enough to cause goosebumps to erupt on every conceivable part of his body.

"Call me...'Lover'...again…," Takumi whispered between alternating the attention to the firm length with his mouth and his hand.

' _So hot..._ ' was the only thought that registered in Ryousuke's brain before he found his voice enough to speak . "Make me come,...Lover…"

 _Does he know how much I want him never to stop calling me that…?_

Takumi uttered an unintelligibly erotic sound that was a half-groan, half-sigh and he picked up the pace of both his mouth and his hands. Ryousuke pushed into the wet heat and shifted his hips slightly so that Takumi's urgent fingers would hit just the right spot inside him. The pulsing of the fingers, the suction around him, the fingers of his lover's other hand circled again tightly at the base of his erection, and a tongue flicking the slit on the tip; the sensory overload was too much for the elder to bear any longer. He was about to lose it and he pulled on Takumi's hair, hard, warning his lover of the inevitable release, but that stubborn, gorgeous thing refused to stop. He only dove in faster and harder just the way Ryousuke liked to get it, and the waves of orgasm started to crest until he gave over to it and let them crash over as he came into that hot, wet, and expectant mouth.

When Ryousuke opened his eyes, still breathing hard, Takumi had a look of pure desire on his face as he wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist and reached for the towel on the nightstand. God, this guy just kept getting sexier by the second. Whenever he thought that the Beautiful One couldn't possibly get any hotter, he evolved as a lover again. Ryousuke found that his own mind and body craved more and more to be at the younger's mercy. Since when had he possessed that mindset with another man? Ever? Even if he had received several years back when he was still figuring things out for himself with his first intimate lover, he didn't do that for long. He'd always thought that it was easier to respect the trust of a partner to receive than to have that trust within himself. With Takumi, though, he had grown so accustomed to not being totally in control in the relationship that it seemed like a natural progression to desire the young driver that way. That gorgeous guy had gone from cluelessly sexy and inexperienced to the most exciting lover Ryousuke had ever been with, almost instantly. Not only had the younger man discovered ways to surprise him in bed just as he had done with his driving, he'd made Ryousuke surprise himself with how much he wanted to know what it would be like to be taken completely by him.

"What do you want?" Takumi asked in a throaty voice while leaning over him again, nearly nose to nose.

"You…"

"Then why do I still have clothes on?" he asked before he realized the words left his mouth as he leaned down for a sensual kiss fueled by a hunger that had yet to be sated, a need that Takumi realized had begun to surface more and more of late when he and Ryousuke were together. He sensed that Ryousuke would understand; he felt him smiling a little through the kiss in response to his verbal reply. Perhaps he would even welcome it more than simply allow it, and Takumi wondered if this would be the only chance to satisfy it.

As he felt the sensation of slender fingers dip underneath the elastic waistband of his shorts as they kissed, Takumi wondered if the elder understood what his intentions actually _were_ ; he had come close to making them known a few times, and each time Ryousuke gave him the chance, but he hadn't quite taken it. It was not the easiest decision to make because the things Ryousuke did with him felt so amazing, he wasn't sure if what he wanted to try would be an equal trade on the pleasure scale.

 _Since when have I been the one to think too much about anything? I want to do this. I need to show him everything now and not hold back._

He reached over the side of the bed once more, locating the other item he'd hurriedly placed there before and he put it by the towel; Ryousuke leaned upward a little to kiss his neck between ragged breaths as he was still coming down from the rush of his release. "If how I feel right now is the result of your taking responsibility," he whispered, pulling down Takumi's shorts as he lay back down on the pillows, "then I hope you aren't done…"

Takumi said nothing, lifting his knees one at a time to fully rid himself of his shorts before covering Ryousuke with his still achingly aroused body. He brushed an errant lock of dark hair that had fallen askew upon the man's forehead back into place. "I'm not if you're not," he said simply.

Ryousuke didn't reply, but he wrapped his arms around Takumi's back and dragged his hands downward to his ass to press his lower body to him more firmly. "Hmm," he said softly, "then you should take care of this properly," he remarked, lifting his hips a little to acknowledge the erection pressing insistently against him.

 _When he says things like that…can I really do this? Can I really touch him the way I want to?_

Takumi knew his lover's body well by now; he had unlocked the doors to so many secret places that made Ryousuke inhale sharply or let out soft murmurs of appreciation and lust; it was like he had finally begun to find all the possible lines of the course, and now it had to end. He thought, no, he _knew,_ that some of the places he found, no other had found before him. Each new discovery of what his lover wanted brought a similar rush of adrenaline and excitement that only attacking the togue brought to him before. That he could bring pleasure to someone so amazingly good looking, enough so that the cool exterior was totally dropped, always managed to drive him crazy with desire for this man that he had never thought would be possible with anyone, and gender didn't matter when passion kicked into overdrive.

 _Will his wife figure out where all of these secret places are? Why is it that when I think about him having a wife, sleeping with his wife, I want him to think of sleeping with me instead? After everything he's done for me,_ _ **this**_ _is the thought I'm having now? I'm too cruel and conceited. I think I finally understand what you meant about being selfish. I finally get it, because, I don't want anyone else to see you like this._

"What are you thinking?" his lover breathed as Takumi nipped and kissed all those places he had discovered. When he reached the bruised skin of Ryousuke's abdomen, his breath caught as the sight reminded him again that this was to be no more.

"I'm not thinking…"

 _It's impossible, but I don't want anyone else to touch you._

"You were," the elder mildly contested as he reached down between their bodies to slide a smooth palm into a tender grip of Takumi's straining length, a thumb rubbing a line from the base to the tip of the underside in a sensual caress.

"Not when you're doing that I'm not," Takumi declared, raising his head from kissing his lover's neck to finding his mouth again.

 _I don't want you to touch anyone else. I want you all to myself, and, even though that can't happen, I want you to never forget being touched by me, loved by me._

He felt Ryousuke's hand squeeze more firmly as they kissed, and he raised himself a little to allow for more movement, which Ryousuke did without a word. God, how good it felt to have the elder's hands on him, encouraging him, loving him, desiring him.

 _I want to make you remember doing this with me when you do this with someone else._

"Today I want to give you everything, and I don't care about whether it's wrong or right," he heard himself declare in a whisper, "so, when we leave from here, please take this memory with you..."

 _I'm a cruel Lover, Ryousuke._

"Takumi…" Ryousuke replied as he raised his hands to Takumi's cheeks and pulled him down for a gentle kiss.

"Take this memory and don't let it go," Takumi breathed as he buried his face in his lover's neck and felt the slender fingers tug his hair through more pronounced breaths emanating from the warm body beneath.

 _Because I don't want you to forget, even if that's exactly what you're supposed to do. I'm not kind like you, allowing me to skip your wedding, because you know how much it would hurt for me to see you take a vow to spend your life with someone who isn't me. I'm not kind like you, trying to make me promise I'll find someone else someday. How are we supposed to go backwards from this and be friends? I'm not sure I can now, Ryosuke, even if that's what we both want, I'm not sure I can do that...so, today, we're not friends. Today, I'm a man who wants to make you want me…_

"I won't forget anything…," Ryousuke whispered, meeting the younger's lips once more, "especially what you're about to do…"

Takumi opened his eyes wide and looked at his lover.

 _He knows what I want to do._

The ache in his groin was making it difficult to formulate any coherent thought and it was driving that unsated need to share the elder's body in a way he had never done before, but Ryousuke's gaze never wavered as he said those words.

 _You already know. I don't have to hold back...right, Ryousuke?_

The answer to his mental question came with Ryousuke's kiss on his lips, soft tongue gently rolling over his own while hands dragged down his chest, one coming to rest on his hip and the other going further down to encourage him with not-so-gentle tugs. For Takumi, in this moment, there was no thought, no right, and no wrong.

There was only what remained of this night.

And there was only Ryousuke.

 _Tell me you want this. Tell me you want me. Tell me you want your Lover. Let me hear you say it aloud. Please._

"Takumi," the elder began softly, "it's time for you to take the lead…"

"But I-"

"Lover," he interrupted gently, "I want you…"

 _Oh, God, he really said it…_

"Take the lead," Ryousuke repeated, pulling insistently on his lover's body, his heart racing because he knew for what he was asking, knowing that he would be giving complete control to the gorgeous young driver from the Akina togue, and he wanted it. Wanted _him_.

Reality could wait another day, but the chance to completely trust, to completely let go and let Takumi take over couldn't wait anymore. He watched the expression on the younger one's face as he worked him with his hand; the churning eyes were closed and the youthful brow knitted tightly in focus on the sensation. Ryousuke wasn't used to wanting this, but nothing about the hachi-roku driver had ever been ordinary, and that was what had captivated him from the moment Keisuke was defeated that summer ago.

Takumi started to caress his neck and shoulders, firm hands trailing behind lips all over places on his body that no one else had ever found. Surely he would be leaving marks on his flesh, and Ryousuke wanted him to do just that. He wanted the younger one to show him his feelings completely, to treasure this person who was so undeniably pure and free.

Never in his wildest fantasies had he thought that this would happen; fantasies that had started in his mind with curiosity, attraction, sexual frustration, and lust where, in all scenarios, Ryousuke chose his usual preferences in bed, had now turned into this reality where he knew that Takumi was not some passive lover content to be pursued and taken. Ryousuke learned that the other side of the younger man he always wondered about truly existed, the side of him that allowed him to push aside fear and thoughts of danger on the togue to aggressively battle any opponent, including, or maybe, most especially, Ryousuke himself. He'd been assertive in their intimacies plenty of times, but never had taken total control.

However, just like he did on the togue, Takumi continued to evolve, breaking through his own barriers. Ryousuke had so much admiration for him and his ability to reinvent himself over and over again on the street and as a lover, and so quickly too. Their time together as intimate partners had been truly short, but Takumi found a way to adapt and accept and even to love him. He had the courage to say it first too; Ryousuke had been so humbled by that even though he had been so stunned and panicked to actually hear it at the time. Even though he had said it so Ryousuke wouldn't have had to, there was no way the elder could allow him to shoulder that responsibility alone. And now, he had declared that he was taking responsibility again and Ryousuke decided that for this last day together as lovers, he would let go and let the younger man do just that. The not-quite-gentle caresses and kisses currently being rained down upon his body were all the proof of the emotions that was needed, more than any words Takumi could ever say.

Even if Takumi did still occasionally struggle with the fact that they were both men, once he decided something in the moment, he seemed to be less bothered by that than even Ryousuke was himself, despite how many years the elder had on him and despite that this might likely be the only time Takumi would ever have a male partner. There was no reason not to let him do whatever he wished today. The touch of his lover was not soft; his underlying intensity was behind every contact lips and hands made with flesh. But the pace of his caresses had slowed to something sensual and caring, _loving_ ; it was a new sensation for Ryousuke to be treated this way by a partner, but, Takumi was not like any of his other previous intimate lovers. None of them had loved him and he had loved none of them in return. None of them had the connection that this person had with him, none had ever stirred his own feelings as intensely as did this teenager from Shibukawa.

Takumi desperately wanted to show Ryosuke for one last time how much he truly loved him. Even though his body was begging for more, he didn't want to rush things too much, desiring to savor these moments and etch them into his memory forever. He understood the gift Keisuke had given to them both tonight, and he made a mental note to thank his rival for it. Had Keisuke not taken action, Ryousuke might still be drinking alone and dealing with everything by himself.

 _Like he probably has done all his life._

Takumi decided that he _was_ taking responsibility for what happened between his lover and the man's father. He was not going to walk away from this relationship leaving any lingering doubt about right or wrong in his own mind or in his lover's mind.

He stopped kissing all the found secret places and looked up into the dark and deep eyes of the man he respected, admired, and loved. "I'll take the lead," he whispered, "but I'm bringing you with me…"

He saw the dark eyes widen a little, then soften into that look of gentleness and approval he'd come to crave. A nod was the only reply Takumi needed to receive.

 _I want to show him that I don't think this is wrong. I know that I'm one of the things he has to leave behind. I want to show him I will keep his racing Dream alive for as long as I can, and I'll keep the memory of this small Dream alive too, no matter what happens._

Ryousuke's touch had been making him painfully hard, and Takumi closed his eyes.

 _Concentrate. This is my last chance, our last chance. I won't think about him walking away from me and I won't think about walking away from him._

He removed Ryousuke's hand from his body and intertwined the elder's fingers within his own. Keeping his eyes closed and his lips near to his lover's ear, he whispered, "This is about you...and me, and nothing else and _no one_ else matters right now…"

"Takumi…"

The younger man claimed his lover's lips with a passion he had decided it was now or never to display. The hand tightened around his own and he pressed his lower body into a thigh that raised to meet him. The pressure on his aching arousal caused a shot of desire to awaken a response from every inch of his body, and the room, the surroundings, the reason for them having to be here: all of it simply began to melt away.

Before he knew what he was doing, he had pinned his lover's wrists with his hands and claimed Ryosuke's mouth with a kiss which he hoped would convey all the feelings of passion, respect, and admiration that he knew he had always felt toward the White Comet of Akagi, from even before he had gotten this close to him. He listened to the appreciative sounds through the kisses and he covered the elder with his body, and it was only increasing his own desire to claim him as his own.

Amazingly, he felt firmness against his abdomen; could his lover really want this? Did he really understand? God, Takumi hoped he did as he released one of the man's wrists to grasp the the length that had begun to reawaken against his belly.

 _I can do this. I want to do this. I want him._

After a few sensual tugs, Takumi looked for and found the bottle of lubricant and moistened his fingers, noting that Ryousuke's eyes were closed and his breathing was becoming irregular. He slid his fingers down toward his lover's entrance and felt his heart begin to race.

 _Concentrate._

He pushed two fingers inside the tight warmth of Ryousuke's body as he returned his lips to the elder's mouth. He tried to mimic what he had felt Ryousuke do with his own body to prepare him, and he hoped to God he was doing things right. He thought he might be as his lover's breaths continued to become more ragged through the kiss.

Taking the elder's response as encouragement, Takumi slipped in a third finger and immediately met with the intense grip and soft heat of Ryousuke's flesh. The elder broke the kiss and threw his head back more deeply into the pillow with a soft groan, squinting his eyes shut.

 _Am I hurting him?_

"Ryousuke…?" he whispered.

"Don't stop…," came the barely audible reply before Ryousuke opened his eyes and brought him down by the nape of his neck with his free hand for a forceful meeting of their lips and tongue, hungry with what Takumi hoped was the elder's desire for more.

He pulsed his fingers a few more times, his own desire aching and needful, the passionate kiss elevating the physical urgency he was starting to feel. He released the grip on his lover's other wrist and entwined it in his lover's hand; Ryousuke allowed his fingers to be folded within his own and he brought his partner's hand downward so he could touch his own body. Takumi held it fast, and together they grasped the strengthening length tightly, the younger taking control of the pace. Once the pace was established, he let go to allow the elder to take over as he continued the penetration with his fingers. He slid his body upward, so his lips could return to Ryousuke's neck, nibbling and biting the delicious spot at his collarbone which elicited a quiet murmur of appreciation.

 _Is this enough? I don't think I can wait anymore..._

As he continued to kiss and nip his lover's neck and earlobe, he removed his fingers, and reached blindly for the towel and for the small square package he'd placed near to it. He made quick work of using the towel and tearing open the wrapper, the anticipation of what he was about to do causing his hand to tremble slightly as he lowered the sheath onto his hardened need. Once he'd prepared himself with more of the lubricant, he reached down and guided himself toward his lover's entrance and pushed slightly.

"Ryousuke,...I…," he whispered into the elder's ear, his heartbeat pounding and his pulse racing.

"Do it."

Takumi felt his face heat and his body throb toward the soft-spoken command. He shifted himself so that he was braced over his lover with his arms on either side of him. He opened his eyes and saw that Ryousuke was looking at him directly; there was no hesitation in his expression, just that calm intensity that had unnerved him a little at the starting point before their battle that summer ago, which caused him to stammer out the fact the he was sure he was being overestimated. The only betrayal of the elder's calm expression was his somewhat labored breath; but he was serious and unwavering. Takumi had sensed that charisma even before they drove that downhill run which Takumi would assert to this day that he had not actually won. He had grown since then, but he still thought that there should be no logical reason for Ryousuke to love him the way he did, and there should be no logical reason for the man to want him to do _this_.

 _Logic be damned for one more day._

Takumi leaned down and kissed him again, parting his lips with his tongue. As the kiss deepened, with urgent passes of tongue and nips of teeth, the younger one felt himself getting so hard that it almost hurt. He could wait no longer; he broke the kiss, his head lowered a little as he steeled himself and thrust in.

 _Oh God._

It felt as though all of the air was sucked out of his lungs. He had not expected to feel such resistance of flesh, such tightness and heat surrounding him. He felt his whole body clench and he could only hear his own gasps and the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears.

The pressure around him was so intense, it made the urge to move a demand his body would not allow him to resist. He pulled back a little to ease the almost-pain on the head of his arousal before he pushed in again, a little more firmly this time.

He heard himself gasp again. Dear God, the pleasure was so incredible that it electrified his entire body, searing heat coursing through the very blood in his veins. He started to pull back again until he felt a firm hand roughly grasp his forearm.

His head shot up and his eyes shot open. Was Ryousuke telling him to stop?! He looked into the elder's eyes with alarm, hoping beyond hope that Ryousuke had not changed his mind about this.

"Don't move…" Ryousuke whispered through gasps of his own.

 _What?! Why?! Oh God, how can I stay still when it feels like this?! Is this what it feels like to him?!_

"Ryou-"

"Just...give me a minute," he interrupted quietly, raising his other hand to his young lover's cheek in a tender caress, "it's been a long time for me...like this."

Takumi could only stare wide-eyed as Ryousuke closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He was _trembling._

 _What should I do here?!_

Takumi lay chaste kisses on the elder's face, willing himself to keep still. God, it was so tough to remain in limbo like this; his body was begging for him to move, and it was taking every ounce of his strength and will to resist the urge to push. It was so impossibly tight; Ryousuke's body seemed to be fighting his intrusion into it; it was as though this man's body would challenge him, _battle_ him if needed. Was that where the excitement of this taboo kind of love lay? That there was no ease to it, that it was a struggle, that there was even this physical resistance to everything that was supposed to be right and correct? Takumi understood something in that moment, something that had been missing in all the previous times he and Ryousuke had shared a bed together.

It was the "why" he had been looking for since everything began.

 _This type of love has to be stronger, or it will never work. It has to push through the limits of the body and the mind and everything and everyone who would be against it. It has to be more because there are so many obstacles in the way of it._

This type of love was never meant to be easy; that's why it felt like it was so intense, and why it was worth so much, and why it was so painful to think about leaving it behind.

It was a _challenge_.

He didn't want to back down, but not moving was making the sensation in his groin feel almost torturous with that erotic mix of pleasure and pain. He had felt that when Ryousuke entered him, but he didn't expect the same sensations when their positions in bed were reversed. Takumi wasn't sure for how much longer he could hang on; he kept his limbs rigid, thinking that even one tiny movement would ruin everything.

 _I can't hold still much longer…_

He raised his head and looked into his lover's face. Ryousuke's eyes were still closed and he was biting down a little on his bottom lip, but the trembling had slowed to where if Takumi wasn't half-buried inside of the elder's body, it might not have been perceptible at all. But the sensitivity in his erection was so heightened by the pressure of those inner walls closing in upon him, that everything he saw, everything he touched, was magnified to a degree he couldn't believe was even possible.

Ryousuke finally opened his eyes after a few more seconds which felt like an eternity; as Takumi met his gaze, he was startled by the look of adoration he saw there. This was the real Ryousuke, and, for one more day, this amazing man belonged to _him_.

The elder leaned upward to meet his mouth in a tenderly rolling kiss, his hands dragging over Takumi's chest. God, Takumi's body was so perfect; he was so thick and hard inside of him. Although the younger had prepared him, it had been so long since he had lain down for any partner like this that it was extremely startling to feel that sensation of being filled and stretched to the point of pain. He'd needed a few moments to adjust, and he knew that Takumi was barely holding on to his composure. He understood that feeling perfectly, the mirror of his own sensation of the torturous excitement of being on the razor's edge of control whenever he joined his own body with the gorgeous Ace. He was as ready as he would ever be for this, and he craved to feel his young lover's unrestrained passion.

"Now, Takumi," he whispered through the kiss.

Ryousuke heard a little groan escape his lover, and he immediately moved. Oh God, he was not holding back at all; the words of permission had barely left his throat and Takumi pulled back and thrust in hard, sending a shot of pleasure-pain through Ryousuke's entire body. Although he had received before, it had never been like this. That sexy young thing seemed to know exactly the right time to push, exactly the right time to bite, exactly the right time to do _everything_.

God, what kind of connection must this teenager have from his body to his emotions? Ryousuke was overwhelmed; there was no way this could be called gentle lovemaking. He could see the intense focus on the expression of his lover in the seconds when he could actually open his eyes, and he heard the delicious sounds he made as he moved his body. He lowered his hands and tightly gripped the younger's ass, encouraging him to keep going and not to hold back.

Takumi couldn't believe that he was doing this, making passionate love to a person who once seemed so far away from him and out of reach. But here he was, the slender body beneath him, accepting him into his own body willingly and with no restrictions or conditions. Each thrust shot adrenaline through to every nerve-ending, and his mind was on overload as he absorbed the quiet yet pleasure-filled responses of his lover.

 _My Lover for one more day._

He thrust again into the heat of Ryousuke's being, a temperature in stark contrast to the cool demeanor he usually displayed. Only for him, for this one final day together, Ryousuke let himself be free.

As he continued to move in answer to the demand of his body's urging, he did not have the notion that he was being too rough; instinctively, he knew that Ryousuke would understand that it only meant that he truly was not holding back. He gave himself pleasure with every deepening thrust, and focused his mind on what he could do to bring his lover with him just as he had promised to do.

 _Oh, God, this feels so amazing...I won't last much longer, but I don't want to hold back…_

Instinctively, he looped an arm around one of the partner's legs, guiding him to a different angle. As he penetrated him even more deeply, he heard the rasping breaths and saw the heaving chest. Dear Lord, he dared to hope that no one before him had ever seen this incredible man make that expression.

And he selfishly wished that no one but him ever would see it in the future.

 _Stay mine. Think of a plan, Ryousuke. Please..._

With every thrust, the internal request kept playing over and over in Takumi's mind; why wasn't his Goddess of Luck shining down upon him to guide his Lover to thinking of a way to continue this forever?

No.

She couldn't do that, and he was selfish to think she could.

It was too unfair to be that cruel.

 _I'm a cruel Lover, Ryousuke. If you changed your mind and decided not to part ways, I'd follow you anywhere. I'd tell your family it was all my fault, and I would take responsibility. I'd let them blame me until the day I die if they would only let you live your life the way you want. Why can't you figure this out?_

Again, no.

He couldn't put that kind of pressure on a man who faced so much pressure from every angle from everyone else in his life. He couldn't be another person like that.

But, he could still show him _passion._

 _You're mine for one more day._

Takumi felt that he was close, the agonizing pull of Ryousuke's body, the look of the reserved man shedding his control and moving in tandem now with every willful penetration into him; the sight of that was bringing Takumi to a place where only pleasure and love resided, a place that belonged only to him and to Ryousuke. He would go to that special place with this man on this one final day, and reality would just have to fucking wait until they came back from it.

Ryousuke was gripping Takumi's hips firmly now, as if holding on for dear life to the handlebar of the hachi-roku through the Akina downhill. He couldn't stop his body from trembling, both from the urgent movement of his young lover and from the rush of danger he felt because of the total abandonment of control and reservation. This was what it meant to be truly connected, to be truly loved, to be truly _claimed_ by the Danger Zone. God, it hurt; Takumi was by no means a gentle lover on top, but it was as though he instinctively knew that Ryousuke would prefer it that way anyway. The pain validated the passion and love the younger man was sharing with him, and it elevated the pleasure to a degree heretofore unattained by any other past lover. Takumi was an exhilarating Lover, the perfect partner for him in every way.

And there was still no plan to keep him.

 _There had never been a plan_ for this deceptively shy, stubborn, hot-tempered, and _sexy-as-fuck_ Downhill Ace.

He sensed that the young man was getting close; the musculature of his upper body and arms was taut and and the sight of its definition was so incredibly sexy to Ryousuke that he longed to feel its full unbridled strength. "T-takumi…"

Takumi murmured a little groan in response to his name, the only sign that he had heard it.

"Take me with you," Ryousuke breathed between the staccato of the young one's quickening pace.

In response, his Lover thrust in hard and deep, but he stopped moving. Ryousuke opened his eyes and he could see both ecstasy and anguish displayed on Takumi's beautiful face. Why did he stop _now_?! What the hell was he thinking?! He knew he was almost there, so why? Why?!

"Takumi…?"

 _Ryousuke, I would take you anywhere...if you would only allow yourself to go…but..._

"Ryou-"

" _Don't you dare hold back now,_ " Ryousuke demanded through clenched teeth, grabbing the side of the Beautiful One's sweat-dampened face and scratching his nails roughly down Takumi's back with his other hand as he crashed their lips together so hard that he felt his lip split open anew.

But he didn't fucking care, because Takumi grunted and thrust in, hitting his core so powerfully that he thought his entire body would start screaming even if no voice from his throat actually produced the sound.

The kiss broke abruptly as the tannic taste of blood hit their tongues, and the younger one stopped moving again. There was a look of alarm in his eyes, along with the tortured expression of a man who desperately needed release but suddenly felt prevented from actually allowing himself to do it No. _No!_

"Ryousuke," he gasped, "You're blee-"

" _Goddamnit, fucking do it!"_

The stormy eyes began to churn again, and, once again, Ryousuke could see that snap decision. Determined, passionate...desire.

Before he knew what was happening, lips crashed down on lips again, in a battle of tongue and teeth. In a few seconds, the kiss broke and strong hands managed to flip him over onto his stomach, and before the sensation of the hard length inside him disappearing had a chance to register, Takumi was thrusting in again and raising him upward to meet him, one hand still gripping firmly on the hip and the other raking upward on his back to clutch the hair at the nape of his neck. God, how long had it been since he'd taken it from the back this way?

No. It had never been like this.

Takumi was definitely not holding back now, his momentary surrender apparently forgotten, and the little grunts and gasps emanating from both of them were heading toward the mutual fulfillment that both were craving. The hand disappeared from his hair and found his length and pulled, _hard_ , in time with every ardent meeting of Takumi's body with his own, and it was quickly driving Ryousuke to a place he was certain he had never traveled before with any other partner.

The bedsheets were getting disheveled, and Ryousuke could feel the heat from his lover's body as he leaned over his back, a sheen of perspiration on both of them making the smooth contact of skin even smoother and more fluid, the rhythm of the forceful lovemaking comparable to the corners of a dangerous downhill course.

Dangerous. Takumi had always been dangerous as a driver, and it had always been dangerous to have him as a Lover.

But he had always been in control behind the wheel, no matter what conditions he faced. And now, he was in complete control in bed, dictating every penetration, every stroke of hand, every reaction that Ryousuke's body made on its own in response to his very command.

It was too much.

Ryousuke abandoned thought and focused only on his lover's hand and his hard desire that had found that inner core and which was quickly bringing him to a level of ecstasy of which he had not been previously aware.

Was this what happened when raw sexual pleasure came from a place of absolute love? Even if Takumi was forceful, it was because his passion was so pure. And it felt so fucking _incredible_.

As the pace quickened with both body and hand, Ryousuke knew he couldn't last much longer, and he thought that his Lover was reaching his end as well. He could feel the moisture leaking from the tip, and his Lover felt it too, because he suddenly gripped so hard it was almost painful and within seconds, Ryousuke shuddered and released into his Lover's hand and onto the bed.

The electricity and intensity of his orgasm lingered through Takumi's final thrusts until he felt the younger one grow impossibly harder inside of his body, signaling that he was about to join him in climax.

With one last powerful push accompanied by a heaving sound and a gasp, his young lover stiffened and came, holding him so close that the depth he achieved prolonged the rush of adrenaline and endorphins as they ran through each of their bodies as if they were unified as one.

Seconds later, Takumi's muscles gave in to exertion and he collapsed on the bed as he withdrew, breathing hard, and landing on his own stomach and halfway on top of Ryousuke's back, their legs intertwined in one of those impossible positions only achieved as a result of complete expenditure and satiation.

The only sound in the room was the gentle whirring of the heating unit and of their labored breathing which was gradually slowing until it was in perfect synch.

Takumi opened his eyes to see that Ryousuke's were already open and looking at him. He couldn't yet formulate a coherent thought, so he just stared back as his breathing continued to slow; he hadn't moved another muscle because he wasn't sure his body would even respond to his brain's command.

"You are always surprising me…," Ryousuke whispered at length.

The younger closed his eyes; Ryousuke was apparently recovering the ability to move first because the next sensation he felt was gentle fingertips passing through his hair. He opened his eyes again. "I…"

The sentence was left unfinished as Ryousuke moved again slightly to stop him from speaking with a light kiss. "You don't have to say anything," he assured his Lover, "just let me keep you right here for a bit…"

Takumi nodded and let himself melt into the tender weaving of the fingertips through his hair, allowing that spent feeling to linger on through the touch and the sound of breath, and of a new addition of the slightly metallic sound of a more steadily falling rain as it tapped away on the railings of the balcony outside.

"I don't want to leave you," Ryousuke murmured.

It was a good thing that Ryousuke had told him he didn't have to speak. What could Takumi say to that? He couldn't say anything. He just lay there, wondering if there was some other way, some other plan, some other...something.

But they both knew that there wasn't anything like that.

He heard a little exhalation from the elder man as he attempted to shift his body out from under him. Takumi still felt like dead weight, and he wondered if he was hurting him somehow. He broke his silence with a mumbled, "Sorry I'm heavy."

 _That's the first thing I say?! Seriously?!_

A little soft huffing laugh was the sound that reached his ears as he opened his eyes, still unable to move. Luckily, Ryousuke managed to slink out from underneath him and roll onto his side, facing him. "You could weigh as much as your car and I wouldn't care."

Takumi rolled his eyes, but he felt his lips curl upward a little in a half-smile. "Good thing I don't, though."

"Yeah."

They lay together in comfortable silence for a few more moments, listening to the rain falling from the pre-dawn sky. Ryousuke was absently making circles on the skin of his Lover's arm with the tip of his index finger as the younger appeared to be almost dozing off. It was absolute contentment.

And he didn't have a plan.

He nudged his partner gently. "Let's take a quick shower, ne?"

Takumi lazily opened his eyes again with a barely-there nod. "Okay."

"Then we'll just go to sleep."

"Okay."

Takumi managed to get out of bed and headed to the bathroom first. He'd just entered the shower when the elder joined him. The bathing was brief, and the shower completed, exhaustion setting in firmly for them both as they stepped out to dry off.

Without any spoken direction, they passed by the bed with its crumpled linens and settled into the other one, not even bothering to dress in their sleeping attire to slumber under the covers with only the added warmth of the contact of skin.


	47. Chapter 47

Hotel Miyama, Chichibu, Saitama, Friday 9:00 AM

Takumi opened his eyes; the room was quiet save for the sound of the continued rain outside and of the even breathing coming from the body which lay next to him, or rather, half on top of him. He had been so completely sated and exhausted when they had crawled into bed together to sleep that he wondered why he had awakened until he heard a soft knocking at the door of the room.

 _Shit._

He tried to get his bearings. In their sleep, Ryousuke had managed to roll over so that he was leaning into Takumi's side, with an arm draped almost possessively over his abdomen that ended with one of his hands holding his waist firmly even as the elder slept. In his own sleeping position on his back, Takumi was effectively stuck. But it was a good "stuck", and he didn't want to move; the bed was warm, Ryousuke was warm and sleeping soundly, and he thought he could close his eyes and drift away again himself listening to the sound of the rain. Maybe whoever was knocking would go away.

There was another knock.

 _Damn it. I guess we forgot the Do Not Disturb sign or something._

With a little sigh, he gently tried to remove the hand from his waist, succeeding on the second attempt after the first attempt resulted in Ryousuke gripping his body even more tightly in his sleep. He slid out from under the older man and rose from the bed as the knocks on the door resumed.

With a drowsy air, Takumi began to walk toward the door until he abruptly realized he didn't even have a stitch of clothing on. Quickly he scanned the room, looking for his t-shirt and shorts; he succeeded in finding his t-shirt in a rumpled state on the floor and he put it on but he couldn't find his shorts. Without thinking, he grabbed Ryousuke's sleeping pants and slid them on as he reached the door. He quietly opened it to find Keisuke outside.

"Good Morning. Is he still asleep?" came the greeting from the FD driver.

"'Morning. Yeah," Takumi replied with a yawn he didn't bother to stifle as he pulled the door almost-closed behind him, taking care not to close it completely lest he be locked out.

"Okay, well," Keisuke began, giving his friend a quick once over, "I thought maybe you'd like to get breakfast downstairs or something and, wait. Are you wearing my brother's _pants_?!"

 _Shit!_

"Uh…"

"Nevermind, _don't_ answer that," the FD driver snickered, rolling his eyes and shaking his head a little. "Anyway, I'm starving. You up?"

"Yeah. Let me, um, get changed and leave him a note saying where I went."

Keisuke looked at him with an odd expression. "He'll figure it out, you shouldn't have to do that," he remarked.

"Probably. But I don't want him to think I left or anything."

"Ah. Yeah, you're right. I'll wait here, but make it snappy because I want food."

"Okay. I'll be right out."

The younger driver closed the door leaving Keisuke outside. He wondered if he should have maybe let them sleep longer, but he was wide awake since Kyouko had to leave early to get to her job. The night before had the unexpected event of Kyouko going to bed with him, and he was still in sort of disbelief that it had happened. He had tried to get her to call in sick, but she refused because she was trying to get a promotion to Parts Manager at the garage where she worked, so she didn't want to miss a day at her job. She and Takumi both had real jobs, and sometimes he forgot how good he had it that he didn't have to go to one of those. He supposed the Asshole took care of them pretty well after all, but that didn't lessen his fury one bit over the fact that the man had hit his brother.

Another minute later, Takumi emerged dressed in his own clothes this time, his normal attire of jeans and a t-shirt, but he had also had put on a light heather-gray sweater to combat the chilly morning, the color matching the weather outside. "I'm starving too," he said.

Keisuke nodded and the two Aces walked down the corridor toward the elevator without a word.

"Keisuke," Takumi began as the elevator doors closed, "Uh, thanks. For this."

The addressed shrugged. "No problem," was all he said.

"At least let me pay you for one of the rooms," the younger offered. "I'm sure it cost a lot to book two. You didn't have to do that."

The elevator reached the main level and the two drivers made their way across the lobby to the resort's restaurant. "Of course I had to book two rooms, idiot," he muttered, "especially if the two of you are trading pants now," he added with a snort.

 _I'm never gonna live that down._

"Give me a break, Keisuke; I was half asleep and I just grabbed the first thing I saw, all right?"

"Did it ever occur to you that I can figure out that it meant you were stark naked before you came to the door, Dumbass? Talk about nightmare fuel," he grumbled.

 _Yeah, I'm never gonna live this down_.

"Oh...yeah. Sorry, I guess," he replied, feeling that infernal heat come to his face.

"Ah, whatever," Keisuke replied with a half-smile. "I'm just teasing. Mostly."

"Sorry."

"Don't keep saying 'sorry', geez. We're all adults. It's only weird because it's my brother, but it's fine. I'm glad you were there with him. And you're not paying for the room, but you can buy breakfast," he said quietly as they approached the hostess stand to the restaurant.

"Thanks."

"Besides, if I can't tease you, I don't have any fun," he added playfully as the hostess appeared to seat them before Takumi could open his mouth to retort.

"Party of two?" she inquired.

"We might have someone join us, so make it three, please," Keisuke responded easily, flashing his good-natured charm with a smile toward the cute young hostess.

"Right this way, please," the hostess replied, returning Keisuke's smile. She led them to a table set for four by the window. It overlooked a very nice garden, but the weather wasn't cooperating with making the view as pretty as it should have been. It was still raining and dreary outside, and it was definitely not the type of day for a stroll upon the winding paths of the garden below.

Once they were seated and looking over the menu, a waitress came by to ask for their drink order. They ordered coffees and waters and put their attention back on the offerings from the menu.

Takumi put his down first, having settled for rice, fruit and miso soup. He put a little sugar in his coffee and stirred as Keisuke pondered his own choices. A few seconds later, it appeared that the FD driver had made his decision also, and the very attentive waitress appeared again.

"For you?" she asked, turning to the younger of the pair.

Takumi placed his order and the waitress turned to Keisuke.

"And what can I get for you?"

"I'll have the Western style breakfast, with a double order of sausage and toast."

 _Pig. And he'll still probably try to steal something of my plate anyway too._

"Very good, gentleman. Shall I start your orders now, or shall we wait for the third member of your party?"

"Nah, go ahead. He might not show," Keisuke affirmed.

The waitress nodded and left them to their coffee and to the gray-scale landscape outside. They sat in silence for a few more minutes, but Keisuke was never one to stay silent for very long.

"So?" he asked.

Takumi put down his coffee cup. "What do you mean 'so'?"

"Did he tell you everything?"

"I think so."

Keisuke took another sip of his coffee and then added more cream and sugar to it. "About Sunday too?"

The younger driver looked out the window. "You mean about the omiai thing?"

His friend let out a sort of exasperated exhalation. "Duh."

"Yeah, he told me about it."

The pair resumed sipping their coffee. Keisuke really wasn't sure what to say to his friend; this was definitely an awkward situation, about as awkward as Takumi appearing at the door of his room wearing his brother's pants. Even more than that, though, was that he couldn't actually figure out what Takumi was really thinking. The kid was just staring out the window as if counting the raindrops as they fell. If he had found out that Kyouko was about to be set up with another guy, he'd be hopping in his car to take her someplace where they could elope instead.

But Takumi was calm this morning, more calm than Keisuke expected him to be after hearing about the omiai and after the anger he displayed the night before when they'd talked by the vending machines about why Ryousuke was sporting a bruise and a split lip. It was that same type of calm he displayed when they loaded the 86 onto the flatbed after the final Kanagawa battle, demeanor that had seemed oddly misplaced at the time to the younger Takahashi. It had made him wonder if Takumi was just putting up a front, or if he was in some kind of shock; he was still not 100% certain about just how the weirdo's mind actually worked, even if he did know him quite well now. If the FD had been the one that had to have been towed back, Keisuke was sure that course would have been left behind with one fewer guardrail because he figured he would have kicked it enough in frustration and anger over the state of his car for it to fall over. Deep down, he had thought that Takumi must have been torn up inside with emotion, but one would have never been able to tell by looking at him that night. In some ways, he could be as good at keeping a neutral appearance as was Ryousuke, and it appeared that he was acting in much the same way as he did that night as he watched the gloomy weather on the other side of the window.

"He doesn't want to do it," the FD driver supplied at length, feeling like he needed to say something to replace the absolute _nothing_ he was getting out of his rival. "He didn't even really look at the rirekisho, in fact he threw it against the wall of his bedroom."

Takumi immediately snapped back to reality and turned to look at his breakfast companion. "He did?" he asked incredulously.

"Yeah. He was really pissed."

"But he agreed to it anyway," Takumi commented quietly.

"Yup. It sucks because I have to be there too. What a crock of shit."

The comment hung in the air for a few seconds before Keisuke spoke again. "It doesn't mean he's going to get married right away."

Takumi considered, taking another sip of coffee and fiddling with his napkin. "Maybe it would be better if he did. Then your parents would back off."

Keisuke recoiled a bit. What the hell kind of response was that? This is just the type of thing that had him sort of concerned that Ryousuke might end up getting hurt by this unpredictable little psycho in the end. How could he say something like that? Didn't this kid know that his brother was completely, utterly, _desperately_ in love with him? How could his rival even think to propose that Ryousuke just up and marry this chick right away? Did he really care that little about Ryousuke's happiness? Didn't he realize that _he_ was the one that Ryousuke wanted, and if the elder could only have gotten out from under their parents' ridiculous expectations and demands, that he would give him the fucking _world_ if he ever asked for it?

No. Wait. Think. If he looked at the statement from the younger man's point of view, the reason for it suddenly made sense. He probably meant that it would be the quickest and easiest solution to prevent any future physical confrontations between Aniki and their Father. He needed confirmation though. "So you think that if he promises to get married that this will never come up again, and he won't get hit again by our Asshole Dad?"

"Yeah. Wouldn't it work?" the teenager asked. "I won't stand to see him beat up like that again. _Ever,_ " he emphasized darkly, and Keisuke got all the confirmation he needed. It looked like maybe, just maybe, that his friend might want to give his brother the world too, if only he had the means to give it, which he apparently believed he didn't at this point in time. "If he has a wife, it means he did what they asked, and they'll have no choice but to back off and leave him alone."

The FD driver made an rueful noise. "Not likely. The Old Man will be on his ass until he croaks. Nothing is ever good enough for that guy. I'm sure he'll find fault with his wife somehow, and then that will be Ryousuke's problem too."

"Really?"

The elder nodded. "Either that or he'll screw her himself, who knows?"

Takumi felt his mouth hang open a little. "Really?" he repeated.

Keisuke shrugged. "Wouldn't put it past him."

The hachi-roku driver considered the statement, not quite sure what to make of it. Seriously, what kind of person was Dr. Takahashi anyway? Sure, his own dad was definitely not a saint, but he was pretty sure that there wouldn't be any girlfriend-sharing between himself and his father. No.

"Nah," the FD driver said, reconsidering his prior statement, "he tends to go for nurses or secretaries. This chick doesn't fit the profile," he added with a sarcastic sounding snicker.

Did Keisuke know the girl that Ryousuke was going to see on Sunday? Takumi wanted to ask, but sort of didn't want to. What if she was as amazing as was Ryousuke?

 _It's not like I can compete with a woman. Wait. What am I thinking?! That doesn't even matter now. Maybe it would be better for Ryousuke anyway if she was awesome. What is she like? Does Keisuke know?_

Sensing his companion's thoughts, Keisuke commented, "This chick is some kind of interior designer or some shit. Her Father is on the Board of the hospital; his company does all the decorating for it and the clinics."

"Oh," Takumi replied simply.

"Yeah, she went to school in France and Aniki hasn't seen her since he was in high school. He doesn't really know her well."

"Oh," the younger repeated.

 _A rich girl, I guess. Of course she would be. And smart. Probably pretty too._

"She's pretty," Keisuke affirmed, again as if reading his thoughts. "Don't know if she's an idiot though; I actually don't know her at all and only know her family by name. He'll blow her off."

 _I don't think he will. I think he'll do it for his Mother, won't he?_

"Won't marrying her make your Mom happy?" he whispered.

At this moment, their waitress returned with their food and Keisuke nodded vaguely in her direction but kept his stare focused on his breakfast companion. When she took her leave after promising to return with a refill for their coffees, Keisuke spoke again. "Look, Takumi. I don't pretend to understand everything my brother does. He's way out of my league. But…," he paused, "I admit that he would pretty much do anything to make our Mother happy."

The waitress returned and filled their mugs and the pair ate in silence, not really knowing what to say to each other after all.

Several moments earlier, Ryousuke heard the soft click of the room's door closing and he opened his eyes, noting that the bed had a distinctive lack of warmth. He saw a piece of hotel stationery on the pillow next to him, and a shot of anxiety pulsed through him. Did Takumi _leave_? As in, _really_ leave? _Already_? He had to know for sure, so he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and focused on the writing:

"Went to get breakfast with Keisuke downstairs. Join us if you wake up and I'm not back. Taku."

He exhaled, and the anxiety slipped away; Takumi hadn't left. Yet. He put his hand over the piece of paper on the pillow, the faint hint of coconut scented shampoo reaching his senses in a reminder of the amazing man who had slept there the night before. As he awoke fully, the lingering pain in his body reminded him of the downhiller's intense lovemaking and of his own willingness to be taken. It was the right decision to let him take the lead; Takumi showed him such passion, such force. When the younger man was in control, it was downright exhilarating, but when he thought about never experiencing it again, however, the anxiety returned. Takumi was not a perfect person, no one could be. But Ryousuke could not imagine himself finding a more perfect partner for him than was his Downhill Ace.

However, he wasn't his Downhill Ace anymore. By the next sunrise, he wouldn't be his Lover anymore either.

And he still didn't have a _plan_.

He rose from the bed and quickly got ready and dressed to head down for breakfast. He approached the restaurant and inquired to the hostess as to whether or not the Aces might still be there. Sure enough, she nodded in the affirmative and led him to their table in front of a window which framed the dreariness outside.

"Ah, Aniki," Keisuke greeted, "You made it."

"Good morning," he said softly as he took the empty seat beside Takumi. He saw a half-smile grace the lips of the young man as he mumbled a "good morning" in return.

The waitress returned and asked for his beverage order and whether or not he would like a menu, and Ryousuke simply ordered coffee, declined the menu, and ordered fruit. When she stepped away, Keisuke swallowed a huge mouthful of toast with jam before he spoke again. "Are you hungover?" he asked quietly.

"No."

"You sleep okay?"

The asked heard Takumi take a sort-of irregular breath as he sipped his coffee and turned to look out the window.

"Yes. I slept fine," Ryousuke replied to his brother, hoping that his expression was as neutral as he thought it was. Apparently it wasn't 100% neutral because Keisuke just shook his head a little with a smirk and rolled his eyes. Thankfully, Takumi was still studying the raindrops forming rivulets on the window and didn't see his brother's amused reaction.

"So what's the plan?" Keisuke asked directly. The question brought Takumi's attention back to the table, but he said nothing. He wasn't good at planning; that was supposed to be Ryousuke's forte.

Before the elder could answer, however, the waitress had brought his coffee and breakfast and he politely thanked her. He took a couple of sips of coffee and picked up his chopsticks to select a melon slice from the bowl placed before him. "I need to get a new phone before Father realizes he forgot to ask me for mine," he said before eating his first bite.

"Probably a good idea," Keisuke affirmed.

"I'll have to see if there's a store around here where I can open another account with a different number."

"No, you need a burner," the younger Takahashi declared. "If you open a legit account, he could find it if he started looking seriously around at your business."

Takumi watched the exchange, not really sure where he actually fit into it, if he even did.

"I shouldn't have to go that far," Ryousuke eventually said. "Just getting a separate account should be fine."

Keisuke made an exasperated noise. "Look, I'll handle your phone. I know a couple of guys who are still in the burner business, and, incidentally, I've got a couple of favors they owe me that I've never cashed in."

"Keisuke," the elder replied with a frown, "I do not need, nor do I want, a stolen phone," he admonished.

"They're not _stolen_ ," the younger Takahashi asserted firmly. "They're just burners, and not just criminals use them, okay?" he explained with an audible "Tch" as punctuation. "A lot of people want untraceable phones for a lot of reasons. Like it or not, if you want to hide your cell phone number, the burner is the best way to go."

"Maybe he's right, Ryousuke," Takumi contributed in an almost-whisper. "If your Dad is serious about wanting to know who you have been talking to, it would be better if he couldn't find out from looking at a bill."

Ryousuke turned to the teenager for the first time since sitting down. There was concern in the younger's eyes, and Ryousuke knew it wasn't about his Father possibly getting his list of contacts. He knew without Takumi having to say so that he was concerned that he would get hit again. He was sure that was Keisuke's motivation as well. It was two to one; the Aces had him this time for sure.

"All right," he relented, turning to his brother, "Please call one of your friends."

Both of the Aces seemed to relax slightly. "You got it," Keisuke responded. "I'll call after breakfast and go pick it up for you today. The Old Man won't be able to find this phone and link it to you, or even to me."

Ryousuke calmly ate more of his fruit before placing his chopsticks down and reaching for his coffee mug again for another sip.

"We should...disable your current phone too before you give it to him," Keisuke recommended. "At least take the SIM card out."

Ryousuke shook his head. "He'll grow suspicious if it fails to ring even once."

"He's too busy to care if your phone rings or not, isn't he? And as far as the SIM, come on, Aniki, he's a doctor not a hacker. Even I know he's pretty much a dinosaur when it comes to computers and phones. The geezer probably doesn't even know what a SIM card is in the first place. He won't notice."

Ryousuke made a soft huffing sound, a half-chuckle toward his brother's comments. "That's probably true, but he has a small army of assistants at his fingertips. One of them would be sure to notice that the card was removed. That will bring questions."

Takumi listened to the exchange. "Can't you just break it before you give it to him?" he offered, "Put it in a bowl of water or something."

Keisuke laughed, "You know, Aniki, that's not a half-bad idea."

Now it was Ryousuke's turn to utter a soft "Tch," before he added "I don't like to purposely break something like that. It's such a waste."

His brother groaned. "Oh puhlease, like you couldn't afford to replace it."

The elder emitted a long-suffering sigh. "Fine. I'll move all my contacts that have to do with racing to my new 'burner' and I'll drop my phone in the bathtub. Happy?"

The Aces shared a brief but knowing glance with each other, and the three men sat in silence for a few moments as they finished their breakfasts. Again, Keisuke broke it. "So what's the plan for the rest of the day, then?" he asked softly. "I'll take care of the phone, but, what are you two gonna do?"

At that moment, there was a "beep" and a buzzing sound from Ryousuke's pocket. He pulled out his phone to read the text. "Damn."

"What's wrong?" Takumi asked, noting the frown that appeared as he read the text. "Is it from your Dad?"

Ryousuke exhaled. "No, it's my cousin. She's reminding me that I am supposed to tutor her after school today."

"Just tell her you're busy," Keisuke said seriously. "You've cancelled on her before, she'll get over it," he added, polishing off the last bit of food from his plate and raising his chopsticks like a viper ready to strike at the nearest piece of fruit from Takumi's bowl. For his part, Takumi defended the bowl by covering it with his hands and scowling at him, thus thwarting the attempt by the FD driver to swipe the strawberry from his bowl that he was saving for his last breakfast bite.

"I cancelled last week," the elder replied softly, "I shouldn't do it again." Takumi listened intently, noting a tinge of resignation in the elder's tone.

"Tch," his brother responded. "Fact-check, Dumbass, you don't have your car. Tell the brat you're busy," he repeated. Ryousuke said nothing, and finished his coffee. He caught the attention of the waitress as she left a different table, signaling to her that he was ready for a refill.

"If you have to do this," Takumi began quietly, "you can borrow my car, or...I can drive you to pick her up."

Both brothers looked at the youngest of the group as he finished his soup and selected the final strawberry from his bowl and placed it in his mouth, closing his eyes to enjoy the taste. "I can't make you do that," Ryousuke said, noting that Keisuke didn't appear to like the idea either.

Takumi opened his eyes with a question behind his gaze. "Why not? I don't mind. I have the day off from work anyway, remember?"

As he said the words, Takumi saw the brothers begin one of their silent conversations. He'd grown to understand most of their unspoken language by now, but this was...different. He wasn't sure what they were saying to each other, and it had been a pretty long time since he'd felt that way. He didn't like it.

"I don't think it's a good idea," Ryousuke said at length.

"Why? I won't interrupt your tutoring or anything. It sounds boring, so I can drop you off somewhere and pick you up when you're done. That's not a big deal, is it?"

Again, the silent conversation between the Rotary Brothers started anew.

 _They're keeping something from me. Both of them. I'm sort of used to Ryousuke being like this, but Keisuke too?_

Sensing that he was not going to get a response from the eldest in their group, he turned his attention to his rival. "What are you two not telling me?"

Damn. The kid was getting too good at figuring them out, Keisuke thought. Both he and his brother seemed to have the same idea that it would definitely not be wise to have Tsugumi introduced to Takumi. But it also looked like neither of them were coming up with a good reason to reject Takumi's offer of chauffeur service either.

"You don't want to be around her," Keisuke offered. "She's a total pain in the ass."

"Keisuke-"

"Come on Aniki, just tell her you're out with me. That will get her to back off."

Ryousuke said nothing and reclined in his chair, closing his eyes. Takumi watched him running through all his mental gymnastics as he tried to calculate the outcomes of either letting Takumi drive him, borrowing his car, or cancelling outright.

"I suppose if I cancel two weeks in a row, Uncle might mention it to our Father," he mused aloud to no one in particular, as he sat up fully again and turned to Takumi. "As long as you don't mind doing this favor for me," he added.

"No, I don't mind. Just don't try and convince me to bring you home afterward though, because it's not gonna work. We'll do your tutoring thing, then bring her home and come back here."

"I don't know. It might not be the best idea after all-"

"Aniki, geez. He's already decided so just let him, will you?" Keisuke interrupted quietly. "He'll figure out how annoying she is in no time flat, and she's so busy being a giggly high-school girl, she'll forget about him by dinnertime. It should be okay."

 _I guess Keisuke doesn't like her, and it looks like Ryousuke is somehow concerned about me meeting her. How bad could she be?_

Another little sigh escaped the elder. Takumi knew that it must be incredibly hard for the man to be allowing others to make decisions for him, even these smallish ones. But there was no way Takumi was about to let some little tutoring lesson be the deciding factor in whether or not they would be able to spend this last day together. Ryousuke had made the decision the night before that he would give him today, right?

"Fine," the elder relented. He picked up his phone and texted a response back to his cousin, and Takumi felt a small wave of satisfaction wash over him.

As the Aces waited for Ryousuke to finish picking at his food and down the second cup of coffee, they entered into their own silent conversation of sorts. Both of them wanted to know what the elder was thinking beyond what to do with the phone and beyond the now-arranged tutoring appointment, but neither was asking him anything more, as if they both knew the answer and didn't want to hear it. Takumi wondered how Keisuke had come to accept everything as much as he had over the last couple of months, and he knew his friendship with the FD driver had deepened, despite the initial difficulties in the beginning. Now that things were clearly over, it appeared that Keisuke was doing everything he could to prevent that, and Takumi wasn't sure that was the right thing to do, as much as he appreciated it. He supposed that Ryousuke had been just a little bit happier in recent months, and Takumi thought that perhaps that was what Keisuke was afraid of his brother losing.

 _Was he really happy with me? Is that why Keisuke is trying so hard?_

"Do you two really have to end this thing?" the FD driver blurted out, unable to hang on to the silent question any longer.

Takumi looked out the window again and Ryousuke busied himself with the final sip of coffee from his cup. Neither responded.

The waitress returned and asked if they needed anything else, and Keisuke replied to her to bring the check. When she reappeared, Takumi reached for and took the check just as Ryousuke was doing the same. Their hands brushed slightly as the younger put the check just out of the elder's reach and fished his wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans.

"What do you think you're doing?" Ryousuke asked.

"Paying for breakfast, what does it look like?" Takumi grumbled.

"No, let me."

Takumi succeeded in pulling enough money out of his wallet to cover the check. "No. I already told Keisuke I was paying for breakfast, so I am."

"Takumi-"

"Just _deal_ with it," he interrupted.

Keisuke let a little chuckle escape. "Aniki, you have to accept that for today, _we're_ taking care of _you_."

"I don't need someone to take care of me."

Takumi handed the tray with the check and the money to the waitress when she returned to collect it, but turned to the elder when she departed. "The mark on your face says you do," he said flatly. "You might as well let us handle things for one damn day. If we're handling you, then we won't be handling your Dad, which is what we actually _want_ to do."

"Takumi-"

"We're _behaving_. We're not 'going off all half-cocked' as you like to say, so we're actually doing what you want anyway," Takumi reasoned.

"He's right, you know, Aniki," Keisuke contributed, "You're not going home until I'm damn well ready to take you there, and I _will_ be there the next time you and the old man are in the same room together. There's not gonna be a repeat of _that_ ," the younger brother declared, motioning with his hand toward the bruise which still lingered on Ryousuke's jaw.

The elder lifted his hand to his jaw line. "It's not that bad."

He heard a disgusted little noise from the seat next to him. Keisuke didn't know that the bruising extended to other parts of his body, but Takumi definitely did, and, as he looked at the change in his brother's expression when he heard Takumi's reaction, he knew that Keisuke had just figured out that the bruise he could see was not the only one that was actually there.

"Let's get out of here," Keisuke said flatly, obviously trying his best to contain his anger as he stood. The other two followed his lead and the three of them walked out of the restaurant and into the lobby. Once they were well away from other people, Keisuke turned and faced his brother. "If he touches you again, he _will_ live to regret it. That's a _promise_."

"Don't get involved any more than you already have."

"I'm not. I'm just telling you that if he raises another hand to you, he'll have to go through me first. He knows me well enough to know that I'll make good on it."

 _Keisuke's serious. I'm serious about this too. If their Father tries to hurt Ryousuke again, I know Keisuke will take care of it. But…_

"You'd better tell me if that happens too," the younger added with a stern air. "Even if we're..."

 _Over..._

"...It doesn't mean I'm going to forgive that."

Ryousuke looked from one young man to the other; with the one, there existed a bond shared by blood and twenty-two years of living together, and the other with whom had existed a passion he never thought he'd live to share with another person, and he knew in that moment that they both cared for him as much as he did for each of them. He was touched by their concern, but physically defending him from his Father was not an idea he wanted to take firm hold in the brains of these two little hot-heads. If anything, they needed to remove themselves from this; they were too involved already. He had gotten way too close to both of these people, so much so that the mere thought of anything happening to them or their future was too, too much to bear. He needed to start separating himself from both of them, _immediately_ , or they would never be able to fully grow. It was the best course of action. The _only_ course of action.

Was this the right way to move forward? He didn't know if it was, and Kaori wasn't here to show him the way because he had already lost her that dreadful afternoon those two years ago. But time was of the essence, and there wasn't enough of it left to come up with a better plan.

He pushed down the twisting anguish that was starting to build, the feeling of being unable to cope with the loss that was coming way too soon. But this was _his_ loss, and he couldn't share that burden with his Aces. Hadn't he and Houjou Rin suffered for two long years with a shared burden? He never reached out to his brother for support then, and, of course, he didn't yet know Takumi when Kaori took her life. Houjou had disappeared from society and became a recluse, hiding behind the morbid moniker of the Shinigami Racer.

But only they themselves were affected, right?

No, that wasn't exactly correct. He remembered hearing through the grapevine about the resentment that was building between Houjou Rin and his younger brother Gou-kun after his Senpai dropped out of the University. It was so similar to the trying times he'd had with Keisuke in the past, even if the roles were somewhat reversed. Apparently, their parents worried for their elder son when he disappeared from the family to the point where his mother refused to leave the house for fear of missing the exact moment should Rin come home. That must have been awful for Gou-kun, and for their entire family to take.

He had known that Keisuke had been worried when he himself had taken off for Kaori's funeral without a word, then chose to stay alone in a hotel room for the following several days without answering his phone, drinking and chain smoking until he puked up everything he'd eaten and drank for what seemed to be the whole week prior. And, instead of allowing Keisuke to support him, he shared nothing and just allowed himself to stop caring for anyone else besides his brother. If he couldn't have one of the people he loved, he thought he had better make damn sure he would keep the other. The simulation that brought Keisuke back from the teeth-filled mouths of his own demons came to a close when his brother ditched the motorcycle for good and bought the FD, so together they could become the Akagi Red Suns, the Takahashi Rotary Brothers. Keisuke became the priority then, and he wasn't about to let his brother mess that up by getting into it with their Father now. Even though he knew it would probably anger Keisuke and Takumi both, he needed to instill in them that they needed to focus on their own lives and not waste any more of their worry on his. They had already done enough, and he couldn't allow himself to take any more from them, and, even though he told Takumi he didn't want to leave him, the fact remained that he had to do just that, because there wasn't another plan at all.

Fine then. Decision made.

"I can take care of myself," Ryousuke asserted quietly, but sternly. "There's no need for both of you to insert yourselves into this situation. This is a reality that was chosen for me a long time ago, and it's not one that I can escape, but you two need to focus on your careers. I will _not_ allow either of you to put that at risk after you have worked so hard to get to where you are."

"Aniki-"

"No, Keisuke. Hear me out on this, please. There was nothing I could do for you with Father our whole lives. You don't owe me this 'protection' that you are promising. What you _do_ owe me is to make it so that no one in your car class on the circuit will be able to touch you, and that you will live as freely as you drive. To do that, you need to minimize any antagonism with our parents, especially when I'm overseas. You need to play _nice_."

Keisuke was about to protest, but Takumi tried to beat him to the punch.

"Ryou-"

"And, you, Takumi," Ryousuke interrupted, "have no familial ties to us, so you have even _less_ of a reason to get involved here. I want you out on the rally stage kicking up dirt and rocks into the windscreen of anyone who _dares_ to try and follow you, and I want you to make the stomachs of even the most seasoned of navigators turn to mush with your crazy technique, so that only the _best_ will have the privilege to sit in your navi-seat. And when you dazzle the crowds in a D1 competition, I want you to sign every goddamn autograph with a smile and win the hearts of a million fangirls in the process."

 _Ryousuke...don't do this. Don't shut us out._

The words hung in the air between them, the expressions both of his Aces wore told him they were not terribly pleased with what he had just said. Too bad. They had a future, a Dream, one that he needed to make sure they kept alive. Technically, he didn't really have the right to order them around anymore either, but they needed to get it into their thick skulls that they needed to stop any thoughts about interfering with his relationship with his parents. It was precarious enough as it was, and he hoped that attending the omiai on Sunday would ease his Mother's mind, and he planned to obey his Father's every whim every damn day until the 28th when he would board his plane. He couldn't afford to have the two of them get thrown into the mix to complicate things.

Keisuke's brow was firmly knitted and his lips were turned down in a frown. He turned to his rival. "I'm not listening to any more of this shit. You wanted him? Well, you got him. Talk some sense into this bastard."

Takumi nodded silently, and the look of determination in his eyes wordlessly said that he shared Keisuke's opinion.

"And you, Aniki," Keisuke continued, "don't give us a speech that sounds as though you're about to cut both of us off. That's being an Asshole, for your information. I'll be back after I get your phone."

With that, Keisuke turned on his heel and walked out the front door of the resort, not even bothering to go back up to his room to fetch his coat. That left Ryousuke standing there with his less-than-pleased, soon-to-be ex-Lover.

"I don't know what to say to you just yet," the teenager began coldly, "but I'm going up to get our coats and my keys, and we're going for a drive until we pick up your cousin."

"Taku-"

" _End of discussion_ ," he spat, interrupting in a surly imitation of one of Ryousuke's own favorite phrases as he turned toward the waiting elevator and got inside.


	48. Chapter 48

En Route from Saitama to Takasaki, Friday, 11:45 AM

Takumi was silently driving from Saitama back to Gunma in the general direction of Takasaki, and Ryousuke hadn't said anything either since they both got into the hachi-roku at the resort parking lot. The elder could see that Takumi was deep in thought as he drove at legal speeds with the rest of the midday traffic, and he knew that his statements in the resort lobby had not gone over well with either of the Aces, but that was expected anyway.

What was perhaps somewhat unexpected was that Takumi hadn't lost his temper outwardly; Ryousuke had pretty much prepared for him to lose it and start ranting once they were in the relative privacy of the hachi-roku, but he hadn't. So, Ryousuke thought he'd do best to be patient and let the younger man work things out in his head as he drove before he attempted any further conversation. After all, Takumi had made it pretty clear he wasn't ready to talk by saying "end of discussion".

So they drove in the hachi-roku together toward an unknown and unplanned destination, not speaking, the sound of the engine and of the radio filling the non-verbal and slightly uneasy companionship within the small car. Eventually, he saw Takumi glance down toward his fuel gauge, and he scanned ahead to look for a gas station.

Having spotted one a little further up the road, he said, "I'm stopping for gas. Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Okay."

The driver signaled for a right turn and crossed the traffic to pull up alongside one of the unoccupied gas pumps where a middle-aged attendant approached. He rolled the window down to inform the attendant that he needed high octane gasoline, and the older man confirmed and set to his task of filling up the Trueno with fuel.

The weather had started to improve the closer they got to Takasaki, and the sky, though still overcast, was brightening. As the gas was pouring into the tank, Takumi took that moment to reach across his passenger for the sunglasses he had stowed in the glove box when he felt Ryousuke gently grasp his wrist, preventing him from reaching it.

"What," he said flatly.

"I know you understand where I'm coming from," Ryousuke began softly. "It's not to push you and Keisuke away. It's to ensure that the two of you move forward with your careers. Neither one of you needs to take on the position I hold within my family as a challenge."

Takumi said nothing for a few seconds. "Can I get the sunglasses out of the glove box now? I need them," he said plainly. Although he didn't give a direct response to the words, Ryousuke knew he had not been ignored all the same. He released the hold on the younger's wrist so he could pull the glasses out of the glove compartment. He took them out of the case and put them on, and returned the empty case to the glove box as the attendant finished filling the car with fuel.

The elder watched as the Ace paid for the gas and started the car once again, turning onto streets familiar to him having grown up in Takasaki. He didn't think Takumi had any particular destination in mind, but he supposed they had headed in this direction because ultimately they had to pick Tsugumi up from the private academy where she attended. Ryousuke had attended the same school; Keisuke had also gone there for a few months until he had gotten expelled for drinking and skipping class, forcing their parents to enroll his brother in the prefectural school because no other private school would take him. "Takasaki Park is up ahead; it has a parking lot. Can we stop there for a little while?"

"Okay."

Takumi easily located the turnoff to the parking lot of the city's main municipal park and selected a spot somewhat near the entrance. He stopped the car; the sun was trying to come out from behind a stubborn cloud, but the air that pushed into the car when he opened his door to step out still had a slight chill to it. Ryousuke followed suit and the pair walked toward and through the park's entrance; he walked a little behind the younger man until Takumi stopped at a bench under an awning which had avoided becoming wet with the earlier rain.

Takumi sat down with his back leaning on the backrest, hands in his coat pockets, looking upward toward the ceiling of the covered bench where, above that, was a sky that was trying its best to clear. "I do get where you're coming from," he said after a few seconds. "I know your family has nothing to do with me."

"Then you understand that I have to deal with my parents my own way. I'm on shaky ground with them, and I need to steady it. I can't have you or Keisuke getting involved with them in a way that will have a negative impact to either of you, no matter what they decide to do about me."

Takumi shook his head. "I only wish that you didn't just stand there and take it. I know you didn't even defend yourself, and I'm pretty sure Keisuke knows it too. That's why we're pissed; you just let it happen and you didn't try to stop it."

"I won't strike my Father, Takumi."

"What if you found out my Dad decided to haul off and kick my ass instead? Wouldn't you be mad?"

"Your Father hasn't done that. The question is irrelevant."

He could see from the sideview he had of Takumi's face that he rolled his eyes behind the sunglasses. "Okay, _hypothetically,_ say my Dad did everything to me that your father did to you. What would you do?"

Damn. Takumi knew him too well; he had learned the exact way to phrase a question to make it impossible for him not to answer honestly.

"I'd probably take you to a hospital and call the police," he replied quietly.

Takumi turned to him. "See? You'd stick your nose in even further than Keisuke and I did. At least all he did was get you out of the house and he didn't call the cops, and he didn't beat the crap out of your dad himself, even though he wanted to. We're doing everything humanly possible to respect that you don't want us involved, but we can't sit by and do _nothing_ either. Why don't _you_ get where _we're_ coming from?"

"Takumi-"

"You need to apologize to Keisuke when we get back. He did all of this for you."

"I know."

The younger made a little huffing sound, not quite exasperated, but close. "You were supposed to give me today. I don't want to fight with you."

"I don't want to fight with you either."

With that pronouncement made, the pair settled into a silence that was a little less uneasy than it had been in the car, absently watching mothers minding their small children who probably had cabin fever all through the morning rain showers, and who were finally allowed a release into the fresh air outside. The small group of guardians observed from another covered bench across the play-yard as they chatted with each other, each of them having one maternal eye trained on the preschooler action in the middle as their children expended their youthful energy by chasing each other around.

One little girl had a butterfly net and was searching desperately for a winged insect to trap in a jar, having no success despite the encouragement of what might have been her twin brother. Apparently, three-year-olds didn't care that it was way past the season to collect them; she was searching earnestly anyway, and it looked like her mother didn't have the heart to tell her that it would probably be futile.

Was that the role of a parent? To allow their children to dream so hard, so fully, that they believed that they could achieve the impossible? When did it change for a parent, to switch from indulging the flights of fancy of childhood to setting more practical goals? Ryousuke didn't know. He was never a fanciful child to begin with and his parents didn't indulge it anyway; they always had a goal for him to achieve, and they made it clear that failure was not an option. Even when he was about three or four years old himself, it had meant that he had to practice writing his name every day as soon as he could physically grasp a pencil until the kanji were printed with precision.

But he had a dream after all, Kaori had given it to him even has she'd given her life away. He had been reckless enough to allow for another small dream as well, to dream of sharing a life with the incredible young man with whom he shared this simple park bench to watch a little girl search for a butterfly that wasn't there anymore to be found.

He was about to lose both of his small dreams and be left with an empty net and an empty jar, no matter that his net was made of a Doctor's lab coat, and the jar represented the loveless marriage he was sure he was to have.

But he had this last day, didn't he? So why was he seemingly so hell-bent on ruining it?

"I...wanted to be there with you at your signing. That can't happen now," he said with a hushed tone.

"I know."

"My lawyer will be there. He won't let anything go astray."

"You don't have to do that."

"Yes, I do. He was going to be there anyway. This is important and I don't want them to slip in any sweetheart deals for themselves at the very end. Make sure you let him give you the okay before you sign, all right?"

The younger man exhaled. Maybe it was relief and maybe it was something else; Ryousuke couldn't tell. "Okay," came the soft reply.

"Good."

The children continued to play, the moms continued to talk, and they continued to sit, and the little girl kept looking for the winged jewel to place in her jar. He wasn't going to ruin this day. Couldn't he search for that butterfly for just a bit longer too?

Decision made.

"Last night…," he began, "was amazing."

"Y-yeah…"

Takumi turned away a little, attempting to hide the slight pink hue that made his cheek just a shade more rosy than it had been due to the chill in the air. He didn't say anything, but Ryousuke could tell that his mood shifted slightly. They continued to watch the children for a while longer in companionable silence, but he could also tell that the moms had taken notice of their presence; it wasn't like he recognized any of them, but he didn't want to bring too much attention to themselves either. "Do you want to head back to the car?"

"Yeah," the younger repeated, making no further comment about the previous night. "What time do we need to pick up your cousin?"

"We have about an hour; it's an early release day. The school isn't terribly far from here."

"Where are you going to study? I'm guessing you normally go to your house, but I'm not gonna allow that. Keisuke would kill me."

Ryousuke felt his lips curl into a smile. "I don't know, I suppose we could go to a cafe or a family restaurant or something; even if I think a library would be better, I doubt my cousin will agree. I'll ask Tsugumi what she would prefer."

"Tsugumi-chan...that's your cousin's name?"

"Yeah. She's a second year."

Takumi considered as he rose from the bench. "Is she more like you, or more like Keisuke? I need to know if I'm going to have to deal with another 'you' in the car or not."

Ryousuke allowed himself to laugh a little as he stood, thankful that the mood had lightened considerably. "Oh, I don't know. She's probably more like Keisuke; maybe that's why they don't always get along too well. Hard to say, though. She's her own person."

"Oh."

They walked around the perimeter of the play-yard as the moms began to round up their children. The little girl with the butterfly net began to throw a tantrum because she didn't catch her butterfly. Ryousuke felt himself stiffen to the sound of the cries of toddler-frustration; this little girl had been pretty cute before, but now she was just another bratty baby. It was going to be so irritating to deal with that behavior when he had a child of his own; he hoped that whoever became his wife would have a lot more patience than did he, or else he knew he'd be shelling out for boarding school and probably therapy for himself and his kids for life.

The sobs eased, though, and he found himself stopping and looking back toward the sad little toddler as her brother and mother began to comfort her. At that moment, she froze, shook off her tears, and darted ahead toward his and Takumi's general direction. She suddenly swiped at the air with her net and came crashing down flat on her little face. Ryousuke was tempted to rush over to see if she was hurt and was about to tell Takumi to wait when he heard such joyous laughter coming from her spot on the ground. Her mother and brother quickly ran to her as she pulled herself up, clutching the mesh of the net as tightly as her little hands would allow.

"Mama! Yoshi-nii! I got him!" she exclaimed, "I told you he was here, I just had to find him!"

Ryousuke felt his eyes widen. How was it possible in October to catch a butterfly? He suddenly wanted to see the creature in the net, the visual confirmation would prove the unlikely fact.

"Ryousuke?" Takumi asked quietly as he stopped walking. "Are you okay?"

He didn't reply; he only watched as the little boy removed the lid from the jar and as the mom gingerly took the net from her daughter's hands. There was definitely something fluttering around within the net. Shortly, the mom succeeded with one deft motion in transferring the insect from the net to the jar and capping the lid quickly shut and secure. He was impressed. Moms definitely had skills, he thought with a little chuckle. At this point, Ryousuke could see that the winged creature was not a butterfly, but a moth instead. It didn't seem to matter to the little girl, however, and he supposed that, at that age, a butterfly and a moth were pretty much the same thing. For some reason, he felt disappointed though.

He could feel Takumi's eyes on him, watching as he watched the scene play out before them. "I'm fine," he remarked, "I thought that little one might have gotten hurt when she fell, but it looks like she's all right."

He could see Takumi nod out of the corner of his eye, and, for some unknown reason, neither of them resumed their walk toward the park exit.

The other children had all gathered around by this point to see what all the fuss was about. One slightly older boy and his mother stood a bit removed from the rest of the group, the boy having a very skeptical look on his face, at least as skeptical a look as a boy of about four could possibly achieve. They were close enough to him and Takumi so that he could hear the boy speak as he tugged his mother's coat sleeve; she leaned down to hear him as he quietly spoke into her ear, and she was keeping a baby dressed in a pink snowsuit in a front-carrier steady within her arms as she listened.

"Mother, isn't that just a moth? It's not a butterfly at all. Why does she think it's a butterfly?"

"Sweetheart, don't tell her. Let her believe it's a butterfly."

"Why?" the boy was heard to implore with a confused expression, "Isn't that a lie?"

"Right now Yuki-chan is a princess in her own fairytale; we can let her pretend, can't we? You're an Onii-chan now too, right? You'll have to let your sister be a princess sometimes too when she gets to be that age."

The older boy's expression turned a little sour. "That's dumb," he declared. "It's not real."

The mother exhaled in what sounded to be a long-suffering sigh as she rose to her full height and hefted her baby a little in the carrier to adjust the small weight of the tiny human against her own body. She tousled her son's hair and the boy frowned toward the gesture. "Sometimes I wonder if you're an adult trapped in a child's body. Don't grow up too soon, Ryou-chan, ne?"

It startled Ryousuke to hear that the small little realist nearby apparently had a name similar to his own. Hadn't his own mother said something similar to him more than a few times when he was that age? Hadn't she always told him to be kind to his little brother and to take care of him? Hadn't she scolded him for crushing Keisuke's staunch belief that the Santa Claus at their annual hospital children's Christmas party was the real thing, and not just their Father's friend Dr. Fujimoto dressed up in a costume?

The mother and child walked past them with a cordial bow cast in their general direction that he and Takumi returned. "It's still dumb," he heard the boy reaffirm, and again he thought he heard another little sigh from the boy's mother. "Everyone should have a dream. Even grown men should still dream a little, Ryou-chan," the mother returned as the conversation went out of earshot.

Even grown men should still dream a little. Hadn't that been Kaori's message to him, and hadn't he declared at her grave that he did still have a small dream all his own?

"Shouldn't we go?" he heard Takumi ask, bringing him out of his reverie.

"Yes."

The pair walked toward the parking lot and Takumi unlocked the car. When they had settled into their seats, he turned the ignition and the engine came to life to warm up. "Is it something to do with the name?" Takumi asked with a chuckle.

"Hmm?"

"Didn't that mom call that kid 'Ryou-chan'...Ryou-chan?" he asked with an outright laugh.

"God, don't call me that," Ryousuke said with a little groan. "Even my own Mother never called me that," he grumbled.

"I bet you were probably just like him: smart and grumpy. I can't even imagine you being a kid," Takumi remarked with another barely-stifled laugh.

"He did remind me of myself a little…"

Takumi yawned and stretched in the driver's seat. "You were really interested in what they were doing, especially when that little girl caught her butterfly," he remarked in a more serious tone, "I thought you didn't like kids."

"I don't, and she caught a moth."

Takumi shrugged. "Same difference. It didn't look like she cared that it wasn't a perfect butterfly, so what does it matter? She was still happy."

Ryousuke turned to look at the young man who had become his lover, his treasured companion, his precious person. Takumi didn't care that it was a moth and not a butterfly, he didn't care that the little girl's dream was an imperfect one.

But what about Ryousuke's dream? Could he truly be happy with Takumi as just a friend? Would that be his own version of the moth in the jar? Maybe it was, and maybe he could be happy with that; he wasn't yet sure, but he knew he had no choice but to try. If it at least meant they could still share this type of companionship, wouldn't it be worth it?

A few more seconds passed, and Takumi had apparently decided the car had warmed up sufficiently. He put it in gear and made his way toward the exit of the parking lot. "Right or left?"

"Hmm?"

Takumi rolled his eyes again behind the sunglasses. "I don't know where the school is."

"Oh, yes; take a right," Ryousuke replied, still pondering the words of the little boy's mom, but keeping an eye on the road and giving directions to the driver as needed.

Eventually they came upon the school. "I think we're a little early still," Takumi said, "I don't see anyone hanging out in front. I'll park over here in the lot."

"That's the staff lot," Ryousuke explained, "you'll have to use the visitor lot on the other side."

"Oh. Okay." He effortlessly adjusted his course and slid into a spot that had a view of the school's main entrance and he cut the engine again. "Is this where you went to school?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"And Keisuke too?"

Ryousuke chuckled a little. "He did for a few months but he managed to get himself kicked out."

Takumi turned to look at him with a sly smile on his face. "Oh yeah? What did he do?"

"He got caught skipping class one too many times, and he was drinking whiskey out of a flask when the vice principal found him, so expulsion was the natural result," Ryousuke replied dryly.

"Wow. Your parents must have flipped out."

"Well it wasn't a great night at the Takahashi house, that was certainly true," he remarked, "I was really pissed at him too because I got lectured as well for not keeping him in line, and I wasn't able to drive on Akagi for three weekends afterward. He really tried my patience back then."

"Like you ever _had_ any patience," Takumi commented sarcastically. "I know you well enough now to know that you're generally not a patient person even if you tend not to show it. That probably pissed Keisuke off just as much," he observed.

"You're probably right."

They heard the chime of the release bell, and, a few seconds later, Ryousuke's phone started buzzing. "That will be her."

He took the phone out of his pocket and answered.

"...yes, I'm here, but I was out with a friend, so we're picking you up in his car...yes...no...Tsugumi, please…"

Takumi listened with amusement as he watched Ryousuke's expression soften as he talked on the phone with his cousin.

 _This must be another person he cares about a lot for him to look like that._

"...all right, we'll drive up to the side gate. See you in a few." Turning to Takumi he remarked, "Well, it looks like she doesn't feel like walking to the front of the school. Let's go over to the pick-up lane by the side gate."

"Okay." Takumi started the car again and pulled into a line of waiting cars that held other parents, older siblings, and, he thought, hired cars. "Don't these kids walk anywhere?" he remarked with a sour expression. "My Dad didn't care if it was a blizzard outside; he never picked me up from school even once."

Ryousuke chuckled. "Yeah, most of these kids don't walk home from here."

They waited for another minute and Takumi could tell that Ryousuke was getting impatient again.

"I'll go meet her; she won't know what car to look for," he explained as he began to open the door.

"Okay."

Ryousuke got out of the car and began to walk toward the school gate, and Takumi inched along as the line of cars picked up the students one by one like chairs on a ski lift scooping up skiers. After several minutes of barely moving, he caught up to where Ryousuke was standing by the gate with his arms across his chest. He leaned over and rolled down the passenger side window. "Is she coming?" he asked.

Ryousuke let out an exasperated breath as he took a few steps toward the hachi-roku to lean over the opened window to speak with him. "Oh, I'm sure she and her gaggle of girlfriends will be out shortly," he said with an annoyed little click of his tongue, "They travel in packs," he added with a smirk.

Takumi returned the half-smile and continued to wait in the car, thankful that the mood had lifted, and that he could enjoy Ryousuke's company again, even if he had to play taxi driver for his cousin. A moment later, his gaze rested upon a small group of excitedly chattering girls as they emerged from the gate, a particularly cute looking girl looking up and down the line-up of cars. "Is that her?" he asked, nodding in the general direction of the group.

The elder turned with a sigh. "Yeah, that's her." He rose and waved when the girl looked in their general direction. Takumi watched the girl's eyes light up as she returned the wave and, before he knew it, the whole lot of them moved en masse toward his car.

 _Great. Why did I offer to do this again?_

"Hi, Ryousuke!"

"Hello, Tsugumi, Girls," the med-student/English tutor returned. "Did you have a nice day at school?"

Takumi heard the unmistakeable sound of high-school-girl-giggle from some of the friends and he also noticed with a little dismay that some of them were looking at him. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea after all; this girl definitely reminded him of _someone_.

 _Come on Ryousuke, just get her in the car so we can go._

"School was okay, is this your friend?" she asked cheerfully, leaning over the opened passenger window; even the other girls leaned down to have a curious look. "Hi!"

"Hi…," he managed to eke out with more than a little uncertainty. Takumi supposed that Ryousuke normally didn't pick her up in a car that wasn't the FC, and he also supposed that he normally picked her up by himself; he felt his face heat a little as he was downright scrutinized by the group of admittedly adorable girls.

 _A 'pack', huh. Like a pack of wolves. Girls can be scary_.

"Tsugumi, let's go, shall we? I'll introduce you in the car," Ryousuke said with more impatience showing, not particularly wanting to be forced into introducing Takumi to the whole bunch of them, not that he remembered all of their names anyway. So annoying. To his relief, Tsugumi got the hint and stood upright again with an affirmative nod. As he moved to open the car door so she could get in, one of the friends called out, "Tsu-chan? Can you come here a minute?"

"'Kay!" she responded, "Give me a sec, Ryousuke, okay?"

"Fine," he relented, knowing that there was no way to stop this particular freight train. Predictably, the group moved as a single unit again a few feet away and huddled together in a pile of whispers and cellphones and not-so-surreptitious glances in their direction. He'd been down this road plenty of times before with Tsugumi's little fan club, and he knew better than to try and interrupt their little gossip game. The one time when he did deign to try and pull her away because he was actually in a hurry, she had given him a verbal thrashing in the FC about being a "big meanie" in front of her friends before she immediately started blowing up his phone with text messages containing all of her friends' phone numbers and email addresses, and a two sentence biography of the corresponding girl to go along with each of them. So tiresome. He leaned back down to talk to Takumi. "Like I said, they travel in packs." He gave him what looked like a sympathetic nod in response; apparently he understood, and Ryousuke had the passing notion to wonder if Takumi was ever followed around by little groupies like this when he was in high school too. After all, he'd been in that environment a lot more recently than Ryousuke had himself; the common theme of guys putting up with the antics of pretty girls was probably standard at any school.

"Come on, Tsugumi, I'm not going to wait all day for you," he called out to the undulating mass on the sidewalk. She'd certainly had enough time to gather up all the email addresses and phone numbers again by now.

"Coming!" she asserted, and, with a few "Bye-bye"'s, she finally allowed Ryousuke to open the car door and pull the seat forward so she could get into the backseat.

"Awww, do I have to sit in the back?" she whined.

"Yes," her cousin said firmly in his "I mean business" tone.

She huffed petulantly and climbed into the backseat of the hachi-roku. Takumi heard the click of her seatbelt and Ryousuke put the seat back and settled into the car once again. "Tsugumi, this is my friend Fujiwara Takumi. He is doing me a favor by driving us today, therefore, by extension, he's doing you a favor as well."

"Nice to meet you, Fujiwara-san, and thanks for driving us. I'm Ryousuke's favorite cousin Tsugumi."

"Nice to meet you too, Tsugumi-chan."

 _Is it? I'm not sure yet…she definitely reminds me of someone._

Ryousuke muttered, "You're my _only_ cousin, dingbat. You're merely my favorite by default," he chided. He heard a soft half-chuckle from Takumi toward his response. Good. This should be fine.

Over the last few months, he and his "favorite" cousin had put her online boyfriends past them, and had settled back into a comfortable role of familial companionship, one that Ryousuke found that he was able to treasure with much fewer complications than had existed before he had become involved with Takumi instead. She'd even talked to him about two boys from school that she'd gone on a couple of age-appropriate dates with, and it was _mostly_ okay. He still didn't like the idea of her dating anyone, but, at least, a boy her own age from a good family who attended her prep school was much safer than the semi-anonymous online games she was playing before. Probably.

"I don't really get to meet any of Ryousuke's friends other than Hiroshi-san," Tsugumi said, directing her comments to the driver of the black and white car. "Do you know him too? I've known him since I was in elementary school."

"Yes, I know Fumihiro-san," Takumi answered, slipping a sidelong glance toward Ryousuke to silently ask the man to get him out of the conversation as they crawled along in the pickup lane waiting for late-exiting students to alight into their earlier-arriving rides.

"Fumihiro's family and ours have been friendly a long time," the elder returned in explanation.

"Oh," was all Tsugumi heard the younger driver say. She supposed that he was probably a man of few words. So stoic! Or maybe he just couldn't get a word in edgewise with Ryousuke, which wasn't out of the realm of possibility. Ryousuke loved to lecture.

She knew now that this younger guy was definitely the same Fujiwara-san Ryousuke had told her about, the other driver for his racing team. She thought she had recognized the black and white car from that video they had watched about a year ago, but she didn't say anything because she wasn't 100% certain, and she knew that she wasn't really supposed to talk about racing too much since it was actually illegal. It was the one thing her cousin did that was against the rules; she knew also from her mom and dad that he wasn't supposed to be talking about it with her, no matter that she thought it was pure awesomeness, even if her less-favored cousin Keisuke did it too and she didn't care much about that. That sentiment was mostly for show, though; Keisuke wasn't _that_ bad anymore, if she had to be honest with herself.

"So, which way to I turn? If we ever get there," the driver asked her cousin with a sort of frustrated tone because he was still stuck moving at a snail's pace in the pickup lane.

"Turn right out of the parking lot. The local library is not far-"

"Ryousuke, why are we going to the library?" Tsugumi interrupted with a bemused tone. "Aren't we going back to Uncle's house?"

"No, not today," her cousin replied flatly. There was a hint of something in his voice which she couldn't quite place, and when she had asked the question, his gorgeous friend who drove them took his eyes off the car in front of him briefly to see how Ryousuke would answer, as if making sure that the answer would be "no". When he heard it, he seemed satisfied, and he turned to look out the windshield again after a split-second glance in her direction by way of the back mirror.

"Okay, then let's go to a cafe instead. Please?" came the cute sounding voice from the rear of the car. "Only nerds hang out at the library after school," she remarked.

Takumi had to agree. A cafe would probably be less boring than a library, but this wasn't _his_ English lesson, so he figured he'd better do as Ryousuke directed.

"All right," Ryousuke relented. "Any place in particular?" he asked offhandedly.

"No, you pick."

"Takumi, turn left out of the lot instead."

"Okay."

Takumi decided he didn't feel like waiting anymore, and he deftly turned the wheel and navigated the hachi-roku around family sedans and SUVs and eventually made it out of the pickup lane at the school and back onto the surface streets, turning left. As he drove, Ryousuke guided him through more streets until Takumi felt like he was totally turned around and he had no idea where he was.

 _This is local for him. Of course he knows all the weird side streets. How the heck am I going to get back to pick them up? Maybe I'll just take a nap in the car._

Eventually, he pulled into a parking lot and selected a space. The girl in the back had been very quiet as they drove and as she listened to the soft chatting between the driver and passenger, in contrast to her peppy attitude outside of school.

Little did the two men in front know that one of them was being thoroughly evaluated by the youngest passenger in the way that only teenage-girls could. As they made small talk about, what else, cars, Tsugumi studied her cousin and the driver named Fujiwara-san. God, Ryousuke's friend was super hot! Why hadn't he introduced him to her a long time ago? Damn Ryousuke. Where had her cousin been _hiding_ this little hottie all her life? Suddenly Kenichi-kun from her science class wasn't all that special anymore, even though just yesterday it almost looked like he was finally picking up on her hints. But _this_ guy...wow. He looked about the same age as some of the third year boys; he did have a license, so he was at least 18. If he was older than that, it couldn't really be by that much. That meant he was, for all intents and purposes, young enough to be considered part of her age group. That meant he was fair game, right? Her cousin couldn't scold her about his friend being too old for her. Not this time. Maybe she could get Ryousuke to put in a good word for her, and to hell with her friends who had begged her to give the numbers and email addresses they normally wanted her cousin to have to this new person on the scene. Once they stopped, she managed to break her silence. "Are we going to that bakery with the cherry cheesecake?" she asked excitedly.

"Yes."

"Awesome! I've been wanting to go back there."

"And you can earn your dessert by translating your English assignment for me without too many errors," Ryousuke continued with a smirk, "otherwise you'll have to pay for it yourself."

"Stingy. Why do you always want to ruin a girl's happiness? I bet Fujiwara-san would buy it for me and just let me eat it without any work, just to see how happy it would make me. Wouldn't you, Fujiwara-san?"

 _What the hell? Was this some kind of test or trap or something? I really feel like deja vu is happening to me...like when that certain someone asked me that stupid question about whether I preferred my car or my girlfriend._

This girl _really_ reminded him of Mogi in some ways. It was more than freaking him out a little.

"Uh…" was all he managed to get out.

"Tsugumi," her cousin cautioned, seeing Takumi's obvious discomfort, and feeling a bit of his own, "that's enough of that."

A little huffing sound came from the backseat of the car. "Anyway, what happened to your face? You have a bruise on you."

"It's nothing. It was accidental."

Tsugumi saw Fujiwara-san turn away to look out his window. She followed his gaze but saw nothing of note. "Did you get into a fight with Keisuke or something?" she asked quietly.

"Of course not. I just bumped it."

Now Tsugumi heard a definite sound coming from the driver of the car. She didn't know what it meant exactly, but something told her that Fujiwara-san didn't want to talk about this. Obviously, he knew something, but he didn't say anything. Maybe she could ask her cousin again when they got inside the cafe; for some reason, she thought he was lying to her, and that was definitely strange because she hadn't had that feeling in a while. "Oh. What a klutz," she remarked with a light air, trying to drop the subject since it seemed like that was exactly what Ryousuke needed her to do by the look he was giving her. But it _was_ odd; she'd never seen anything like that on Ryousuke's skin, and it bothered her.

It appeared that her plan to drop it worked because Fujiwara-san, Hottie, turned his attention back to the inside of the car. She watched as the two of them shared some kind of silent conversation. Geez. Was her cousin psychic or something? It always irritated her when he would do that with Keisuke right in front of her, like they were talking about her via mindreading. Could Ryousuke do that with Hottie too? The question fascinated her; she'd never met any of Ryousuke's college friends or other street racer friends aside from Hiroshi-san, and she remembered Hiroshi-san from when he'd used to bring her pieces of candy from the bowl his dad kept in his office at their house. He even made her cupcakes once for her birthday a couple of years ago because Ryousuke had asked him to as a special favor. It happened because her cousin had to cancel last minute on taking her out for her birthday to take care of something for her Uncle, and would arrive too late to take her anywhere on a school night. He and Hiroshi-san both met her at home instead with a batch of homemade cupcakes, and she knew without being told that it had been Hiroshi-san that had made them, because she also knew that Ryousuke couldn't cook for _shit_.

So what were the two of them saying to each other without words? She might never know, but it didn't stop her from thinking that her cousin and Hottie must be very close friends. That was good; sometimes she thought Ryousuke needed a friend other than Keisuke. It was like he ignored almost everyone else but her and the bleach-blonde jerkface. It couldn't be healthy to have no friends outside of family, right? He was going to be a Doctor; shouldn't he try to have a more well-rounded social life? He didn't even have a girlfriend either; if how her friends drooled over him could be used as an indicator, he shouldn't have any problems finding one. Any one of her friends would probably faint dead away with joy if he ever paid any attention to any of them. At least, that was the case before Hottie-hotness showed up at school that afternoon.

She put her thoughts on hold as the silent conversation between the two men concluded with a small nod from both of them. What the heck? Suddenly she sort of felt like a third wheel, as if her English lesson was kind of interrupting some previous plans the pair had made without her. If that was the case, she really needed to make sure she at least came away from her lesson with Hottie's phone number and/or his email address. Oh, knowing his blood type might also be good. And his birthday. And...

"Let me have your phone," her cousin finally said at length to his friend. "I'll put the address in your GPS so you can pick us up."

"Okay."

Tsugumi watched as Hottie reached into his back pocket and pulled out a flip phone and placed it into the other's hand. Her cousin took the phone with that little half-smile of his, the one he rarely showed to anyone. They must be good friends for Ryousuke to have that kind of expression which he normally reserved for Keisuke and for her. She supposed that since they were all fans of driving and were all on the same team in the last several months, that it must be similar to how close boys can get to each other when they played on the same sports team at school. She didn't like sports herself, and she'd had many an argument with Keisuke about whether or not driving a car could really be considered to be a sport at all, since all the person did was sit in a car and wasn't even running on legs or throwing a ball. They'd had that argument several times until Ryousuke finally butted in once with exasperation to shut them both up. He had told her to Google the effects of G-forces on the human body while informing her that a person had to be in good shape to endure even the low-level Gs that occurred while driving fast. Whatever. She ceded that neither her cousins nor Hottie were fat, so maybe they had to stay in shape after all despite doing their "sport" while sitting on their asses. Hottie-hotness was still hot.

"I guess call me when you're done," he said.

"Will do," Ryousuke replied, now turning in the front seat in her direction to speak with her. "How long do you think we'll need today?"

"Five minutes of English, and fifty-five minutes of eating cheesecake," she replied, trying to look as adorable as possible because Hottie was glancing in the back mirror again. He had sunglasses on and she wished he would take them off so she could get a better look at him.

Ryousuke gave her one of his patented frowns of disapproval, but her cousin emitted one of his little sighs, the one she knew wasn't really meant to be scolding, but more like giving in. He turned to his friend again. "You heard the lady; give us about an hour. Is that okay?"

"Sure."

Her cousin nodded again and he turned to open the car door. Once he had exited and pulled the front seat forward so she could get out, Tsugumi couldn't resist trying to talk to Fujiwara-san again. "Maybe you could come back earlier and join us for a coffee or dessert? This bakery is really good, and if Ryousuke is buying, you should take advantage."

 _No. No way. You're way too much like Mogi. I won't survive._

"Uh...that's okay. I don't want to interrupt your lesson."

"That's right, Tsugumi," her cousin added with a look that said he wasn't happy that she was trying to chat up his friend. "If you don't complete your lesson, I'm not buying you anything," he added as he held out his hand to help her out of the backseat of the small little car. He leaned down and replaced the seat back to its former position. "I'll call you in a little while," he said with a tone of voice way more gentle than he had just been using with her. God, he was so... _kind_ to Hottie. Did her cousin see Fujiwara-san as an adorable little brother or something? Well, he was certainly more adorable than Keisuke, so she couldn't really fault Ryousuke for that, but _still_. He should really be nicer to her; she had been forgiven for what happened a few months ago with her online boyfriend, right? She had thought so, but maybe she ought to tread a little more carefully with Ryousuke for the rest of the afternoon just in case. However, how would she get Hottie's email address if she did that? It didn't look like she could ask the young driver directly for his email addy; he seemed kind of shy. Shy boys usually didn't interest her, but she could overlook the _shy_ because of the _hot_ in this case.

"Meanie," she said sulkily to her cousin as he shut the door to the car which earned her another mildly disapproving exhalation from the elder. They walked toward the bakery which was a few storefronts down from the parking lot, and she looked back when she heard the sound of the engine in the little car as her cousin's friend drove off.

They entered the cafe and selected a table by the front window and Ryousuke went up to the counter to place their order. She got out her notebook and her Japanese-to-English dictionary from her book-bag, and she removed a pencil and an eraser from her pencil case. As she started her homework and waited for her cousin to return to the table, she wondered again about the bruise on his face. Although she had called him a klutz to try and answer the man's silent request for her not to mention it further, she knew that her cousin was actually anything but klutzy. She was pretty sure he didn't bump it on anything, so why did he feel as though he had to lie to her about it? She didn't like that. It looked like Hottie wasn't too happy with the bruise either, but he allowed her cousin to lie about it without saying anything himself. It sort of reminded her about all those times a few years ago when she would ask where Keisuke was when she hadn't seen him in a while. Ryousuke had always said he was busy hanging out with friends, or he had after-school detention. She knew he was lying to her then as well because, when she would see Keisuke next, he would look like shit with his bleached-out hair and bags under his eyes, often having cuts or bruises on his face and other parts of him like his knuckles besides. She wasn't stupid; she knew Keisuke was getting into fights and into other stuff. She'd overheard her parents' hushed conversations about how upset Aunt and Uncle were about what her younger big cousin was doing, but Ryousuke never told her anything, even when she asked.

By this time Ryousuke returned to the table with some coffee, a hot chocolate, and a nicely sized piece of that cherry cheesecake. Just when she was about to lift the fork, his hand covered hers. "Not so fast. Homework first, dessert second," he said in his annoying English tutor voice.

She rolled her eyes and grumbled a sarcastic "Yes, Sensei."

"You may have the hot chocolate now, though," he added with a gentle smile, the one she absolutely adored, the one that told her that her cousin would probably give in to almost any of her whims. She was definitely forgiven, and that was definitely a relief she could not deny.

She resumed reading and translating her assignment as best she could while her cousin sipped his coffee and messed with his cellphone. Her thoughts began to wander again, however, as they often did when she was supposed to be doing homework, and she went back to recalling those other times when she knew Ryousuke was lying to her about his brother.

A couple of years ago, when it looked like Keisuke was starting to be home more regularly, and especially after he bought his yellow FD to start racing with Ryousuke, she'd gotten up enough nerve to ask him why Ryousuke wouldn't talk to her about the things that had been going on with him starting from when he was a third-year in junior high.

They had been in the garage as Keisuke was fiddling around with his new car in one of the rare times she had been alone with him in recent years. Ryousuke had been upstairs doing his homework, and she was bored with watching TV after Aunt had decided to take one of her long naps. She'd gone out there to see if she could rummage through some of her Aunt's discarded clothes before they were donated somewhere to see if there was something she might want for herself. She wasn't planning on having a conversation with Keisuke at first; she honestly felt like she didn't really know him anymore.

He was not the same cousin who used to give her speedy, running piggy-back rides in the yard when she was three that caused both her Mom and her Aunt to holler at him, even as they both laughed their mothers off. He was not the same sixth grader who told her when she was five that her accidentally swallowed chewing gum would stay in her stomach forever, and any other food she ate would stick to it and her belly would get so fat she wouldn't be able to stand upright anymore. That story had prompted her to run crying for Ryousuke and to beg him to tell her whether or not what Keisuke told her was true, and to ask her smart cousin if she needed to go to the hospital because of the swallowed gum. She remembered Ryousuke reassuring her, and scolding his brother for telling her a lie like that, only to have Keisuke's response be a very giggly "Lighten up, Nii-chan! I was just teasing the little brat!"

He was not the same eighth grader who tried to show her when she was seven how to dribble a basketball in the backyard of the house, the net having been erected at one end of what was actually their tennis court. The net was a gift from her Aunt to her youngest son in honor of Keisuke getting a good report card; they'd been having fun, even if it meant that she was just chasing the ball around and not really dribbling it at all.

They were playing happily for hours until her Uncle came outside in an angry mood with Aunt and Ryousuke, sternly telling his eldest to stand still on the patio after seeing that he took a few steps toward the tennis court in an attempt to maybe join their basketball game. Ryousuke did as he was told and watched her and his brother with a concerned look in his eyes as Keisuke stopped bouncing the ball in response to the activity on the patio. Uncle was speaking harshly with her Aunt, asking her why she had the net installed, only to get angrier when Aunt explained that it was because Keisuke had been doing better in school.

Uncle had started to yell, and Keisuke immediately took her hand and stood in front of her like a shield, telling her not to come out from behind him and not to say a word. She didn't understand back then, or really, even until now, why her Uncle was so angry, but she could tell how serious her normally energetic cousin was when he told her not to move a muscle. Eventually, Aunt had managed to calm Uncle down by reminding him that his young niece and Ryousuke were in the backyard too, and the adults went back into the house. When Keisuke released her from behind him, he told her not to go inside right away, even though she had to pee. "You better hold it," was all he said.

They joined Ryousuke on the patio and they waited, chatting about nothing much until they saw Uncle's car drive away from the house. She and Keisuke went toward the door to go inside, but Ryousuke had not moved an inch from where he had been standing ever since he came outside. "Come on, Aniki," Keisuke had said, but Ryousuke only replied, "He told me to stand still." Keisuke had rolled his eyes. "He's gone and you're not a little kid. Aren't you fifteen years old? Just blow him off," he had said seriously, as she rushed past him heading to the toilet. After she came out from the powder room and looked out the kitchen door, she saw that Ryousuke didn't budge until Aunt finally went outside and had a long talk with him, and Ryousuke was talking to her with a very serious expression. Looking back on it now that she was older, she thought that her cousin choosing to remain standing outside was meant to prove a point he was desperately trying to prove, but at the time she just thought Ryousuke was afraid of disobeying Uncle even though he was the eldest.

She remembered that Aunt had managed to convince him that he was no longer required to stand still outside, even if Uncle didn't give him permission to go in before he left the house. She wondered if her eldest cousin would have stayed outside all night if Aunt hadn't gone out to get him; but when he returned inside he put his hand on Keisuke's shoulder, simply stating that he would be in his room if he needed anything. Keisuke just nodded as he ate a snack and refused to share with her. Ryousuke made her a snack of her own, but he didn't play with her that day; she could tell that he was in a bad mood, and Aunt was sort of tight-lipped for the rest of the evening as well, especially since whatever talk she had with Ryousuke outside seemed to be the cause of her eldest cousin's unhappy attitude.

The next morning when she woke up, she saw Ryousuke bringing out a tray so the housekeeper could put food on it. When she asked, Ryousuke had told her Keisuke was sick and wouldn't be coming down for breakfast. It was the very first time she realized her older big cousin told her something that wasn't 100% true.

There had been other times before and after that incident as well when Keisuke was just...different, and those times seemed to go hand in hand with whenever her Uncle decided to be at home. If she happened to be visiting after school before her own mother would pick her up on her way home from work, she found that Keisuke wasn't his normal self at all on days when Uncle was around; he didn't even bother to pick on her. Usually she ended up going to a babysitter the day after those times as well.

With every instance as the years went on, that same feeling that Ryousuke was lying, or protecting her from something, had occurred to her, often enough for her to recognize it when it was there even before she understood the possible "why" of it; she had never called him out on it, but, on that day in the garage with Keisuke when Keisuke was 20 and she was thirteen, she decided she was old enough to know the real truth, having "accidentally" eavesdropped on snippets of conversations between her own parents from time to time that she knew she wasn't supposed to have heard.

"I noticed you're home a lot more lately," she remembered saying as she tried on hats and sweaters from the box in the garage marked "donate" and as Keisuke was under the hood of the FD taking something apart inside.

"What's it to ya?" the surly blonde remarked in response.

"Nothing. Jerkface."

She rummaged a bit more and took out a really pretty skirt she thought she might be able to wear. Keisuke wasn't saying anything else to her, but she did hear some colorful expletives come out of his mouth as he appeared to have difficulty with whatever modification to his car that he was trying to make.

"Can I ask you something?" she finally ventured as she saw Keisuke step away from the car and outside for a break and a cigarette.

"I guess."

"Did you really get arrested?" she asked point blank.

The blonde took another puff from his cigarette and rolled his eyes. "Who told you that?" he asked softly, but with a very serious look.

"No one. I overheard Mom and Dad talking about it."

"Tch," was the only response. She put the clothes and hats back into the box, minus the pretty skirt, and went out to try and get an answer.

"Ryousuke told me you were going to be fine now."

"Oh he did, did he?"

"Yes. So, did you get arrested or not?" she implored.

Keisuke gave her a hard look. "I'm pretty sure Aniki doesn't want me talking about that to you, and I'm pretty sure your parents don't either."

"I'm thirteen. I'm not a baby, even if Ryousuke sometimes treats me like a little kid still. He won't tell me anything, and I want to know."

Her cousin put out his cigarette and went back into the garage, and then back into the house. Just when she had given up on getting an answer from him, he returned with a couple of sodas. "Here," he said, handing her a can of cola. She popped the can and watched as her cousin reached up to bring a couple of lawn chairs down from a hook on the garage wall, setting them up in the driveway. "Have a seat."

She sat down as they both sipped their sodas for a few silent moments in the driveway. It looked as though Keisuke was debating over whether or not to actually tell her anything, ostensibly for fear that Ryousuke might not approve. Finally, he said, "Yeah, I got arrested."

She felt her eyes widen. "What did you do?"

A sigh. "You mean this last time?

"You got arrested more than once?!" she almost shouted.

"Will you shut the hell up? If Aniki knew I was telling you this he'd kill me."

"Sorry," she answered, lowering her voice.

He exhaled and pulled another cigarette out of his pack and lit up. "Anyway, I got popped for fighting and underage intoxication a couple of times, and this last time I got busted for fighting too, and the cops found some stuff I wasn't supposed to have where I was at."

"Stuff?"

"Are you _stupid_? I shouldn't have to tell a thirteen year old what 'stuff' might be. It's just stuff and leave it at that, okay?"

"Sorry," she repeated, still not quite sure what her cousin meant by "stuff".

"Assault. Willful destruction of police property. Possession with intent," he said quietly at length. "Do you know what all that means?

"Not really…"

"Fighting, damage to a police motorcycle, and enough street drugs at my friend's apartment where I was crashing to be a felony."

Her eyes widened again. "So how come you're not in jail?" she had dared to ask.

Keisuke made a rueful noise. "I guess I have to thank my old man's hot-shot lawyer for that."

She finished her cola and and watched her cousin as he finished his as well and crushed the can.

"Did you fight a lot before too?" she asked quietly.

"Before when?"

"Like...before. You sometimes had bruises and stuff when we were small too...I'd see them in the summertime when we went to the beach or the pool before your mom would make you put your shirt back on when you would try to take it off for swimming. Ryousuke told me not to bother you about it because he said it wasn't your fault."

"That wasn't fighting, and this conversation is over," Keisuke replied, rising from the lawn chair and returning to mess with the stuck bolt again.

She followed him into the garage. "Uncle Ryuuichi is mean," she whispered. "I know I'm not supposed to say that, because my Mom and Dad always tell me I need to respect him because he's Dad's Onii-san, and because he lets me stay here when they have to travel for work. But even I figured out that I only stay here overnight when my parents know he won't be here."

Keisuke uttered a few more expletives until he finally got whatever bolt he was trying to loosen off the car. He rose to full height, wiping the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand.

"I also know that when he is here, you and Ryousuke never leave me in the same room alone with him either."

He went over to the tool box and selected another type of wrench. "You're annoying," he said. "Why don't you go find Aniki and bother him for a while?"

"Keisuke-"

"All right, fine. I guess you're not as stupid as you look. He's an Asshole, and that's the first and last time you'll hear me say that to you."

She was used to hearing her cousin talk with his his colorful tough-guy language, but he usually didn't do it in direct conversation with her, mainly because Ryousuke would get after him whenever he forgot and something slipped out. "I think I understand."

"Don't _ever_ fuck with him," he commanded, pointing a finger at her nose. "And...if he ever fucks with you, I better hear you calling for _me_ , not Aniki."

"W-why?" she asked tentatively; she knew he was definitely not supposed to be dropping the f-bomb like that, but it looked as though he really meant it, and it made his words have a lot more impact to her.

"Because _I_ don't mind punching first and asking questions later. Aniki would never do that, and if the Old Man decides he's mad at you, there won't be time for Ryousuke to lecture a way out of it."

Tsugumi pondered the memory as she finally completed her translation and pushed her notebook across the table to Ryousuke, who had been reading something on his phone the whole time without saying a word. "Are you finished?"

"Yes. Cake time?" she asked.

"Go ahead," he said with his little half-smile. He put down his phone and started reading her homework. She had barely swallowed her first bite and he was reaching for her pencil to start circling all of her incorrectly used words.

"Ugh, already?" she whined as he started making notes on her paper and as the divine confection hit her tongue.

"Already," he affirmed. "But, it's actually quite good so far; I'm just being nit picky, to be honest with you."

"Yay," she replied half-heartedly as she watched Ryousuke make more notes.

"You cannot end a sentence with a preposition," he explained in his sickeningly fluent English. "You make this mistake often," he remarked. "You simply have to change the word order in some of your sentences."

"Sure." She took another bite as she responded in Japanese.

"Also, do not split infinitives."

"Right." Whatever that means.

"Plurals do not require an apostrophe, and please respond in English during your English lesson," he added with a slight frown.

"Uh-huh." She took a sip of hot chocolate. It was now or never; their hour would soon be up. In her best English she asked, "So what really happened to your face?"

The pencil stopped, but her cousin didn't look up from her paper. "I told you; it's nothing."

"You are lying."

Her cousin exhaled and looked at her with a serious expression. "Fine. I got into a fight with someone. End of discussion." He returned his focus to her assignment, and the pencil began to move again.

She felt her eyes widen as she took another bite of cheesecake; they had continued conversing in English, and she was actually pretty proud of herself for understanding. Maybe she was learning something after all, but she didn't really feel like celebrating. She had promised Ryousuke that she wouldn't keep things from him anymore, so she thought he should return the favor. "The fight was with Uncle, yes?"

The pencil stopped again, and he put it down. "Why do you think that?" he asked quietly.

"I know he used to hit Keisuke," she whispered. "I always wondered if he did it to you too."

"No. He never did."

"But he did _that,_ " she softly affirmed, "And you lied to me about it just like you used to lie to me when it happened to Keisuke too."

"Excuse me for a minute." Her cousin left the table to get a refill for his coffee. When he returned, he put his hand on hers again. "Don't worry," he said, speaking in Japanese this time to ensure she understood completely. "I caused it to occur. That's all you need to know, and I'll ask you not to bring it up again, please."

"Only if you never lie to me again about it. You got mad when I was lying to you by not telling you about my online stuff. I'm not lying to you anymore about anything, and I don't want you to lie to me. I'm not a little girl."

"I know."

She took another bite of cheesecake, and Ryousuke glanced at his phone, ostensibly to check the time. "Let's talk about something else, then," she offered, wanting to put the seriousness aside. Her cousin seemed really saddened all of a sudden, and she wanted to cheer him up.

"Okay, that sounds good," he replied, taking another sip of coffee. "How are the rest of your classes going?" he asked, his normal expression returning.

"I don't want to talk about classes," she said, "I want to talk about Hottie-hotness."

Ryousuke rolled his eyes and passed her paper and pencil back to her. "Very well, fix your errors, and give me the latest update on Kenichi-kun the soccer player."

Now it was her turn to roll her eyes as she set to erasing and re-writing, but thankful that she was able to take that sad expression away from her cousin's face. "Not _him_. And he plays volleyball not soccer, _FYI._ "

"Oh, how remiss of me to forget," Ryousuke returned playfully as he rested his chin on the heel of his hand, his arm propped up on the table. Good. He seemed to be indulging her again now, and that's exactly what she wanted.

"Anyway," she went on, "Kenichi-kun is okay, but he's kind of passè now."

"Oh? As of when," he asked in mock-disinterest, "you were all about him a couple of weeks ago at our last lesson."

"As of when I met Hottie-hotness."

"Hmm, and when was that?"

"Today when you picked me up from school."

Ryousuke just stared at her. Was she serious? Was Takumi actually " _Hottie-hotness"_? "Tsugumi-"

"Your friend Fujiwara-san is such a cutie!" she interrupted excitedly. "Why didn't you tell me you had a gorgeous friend like that? Stingy!"

He felt himself frown a little bit. "Fujiwara is: Off. Limits." Dear God, was this really happening?

"Awww, why? By the look of him, he can't be that much older than me, so what's the big deal?"

"He _is_ older than you," Ryousuke pointed out, "he is _not_ your age."

"Hmpf," she retorted. "How old is he anyway?"

"I don't need to tell you that."

"A-ha! That's because you know he's pretty much my age, isn't he? Maybe it's _you_ who is weird for having a younger friend!"

"Tsugumi, please. Drop it."

"You'd think you'd be happy. All my friends asked me to give up on you and to give Hottie-hotness their numbers and email addresses since you've always ignored all of them. I haven't even given you one phone number today!"

Ryousuke put his fingers to the bridge of his nose. How could she flip their earlier conversation into... _this_? "Will you _please_ stop calling him that ridiculous nickname?" Granted, it was true, but really. He did _not_ need for his cousin to be crushing on his Lover; even if they couldn't continue to be intimate, he was not going to be a party to his cousin flirting with him. And giving him the phone numbers and emails of the gaggle of girls besides? No. Just... _no_.

"Tell me how old he is," she demanded to know. "Please? What's the harm in that?"

He had to be very careful here; obviously Tsugumi had picked up on enough to know who had caused the bruising on his face, and she also understood what Keisuke had been through. If he was really insistent about evading her information gathering, she might get too curious. It was painfully obvious that he could no longer treat her like she was still six years old. "Fine. He's 19."

"See? He's a teenager just like I am!"

Great. Thanks for the reminder, he thought. "Are you done with your cake yet?" he asked in a weak attempt to change the subject.

"Almost. So does he go to college?"

"No. He's about to become a professional racer, like Keisuke."

"Really?! So cool…does he have a girlfriend?"

"How would I know something like that?" he asked flatly.

"You're friends. I'm sure you know. The fact that you're not telling me either way means he _doesn't_ have one, and you just don't want to tell me that. Am I right?"

Dear Lord. When did she get to be so perceptive? Damn. "He did used to date a pretty famous junior golfer," he said, hoping that if she had the thought that Takumi was used to dating celebrities that she might not have a chance with him.

"You said 'used to date', so, is he single now?" she asked, undeterred, to her cousin's dismay.

"I'm not answering that. It's none of your business."

"Oh, but it's _your_ business? You know you're just being stingy! At least let me talk to him more when he picks us up."

"No."

"Why not? He's basically my age, and you were saying I needed to stick to boys my age anyway, and he's _Hottie-hotness_. Can't I give him my email address?"

"I said _no_. Go back to Kenichi-kun. Takumi is not a high schooler."

Tsugumi studied her cousin. "You _are_ really close. You just called him by his given name."

Shit.

"He drove for my team, of course I've gotten close to him with all the time we've spent together," he hurriedly explained. "To you, however, he is to remain Fujiwara-san, and certainly do not deign to call him that awful nickname to his face."

Tsugumi sat back in her chair. "Geez," she pouted, "I just think he's cute. Why are you getting all huffy about it?"

"If you're finished with your cake, I'll call him to come and pick us up," he replied, ignoring her question. He wasn't getting _huffy_...was he? "And you _will_ behave in the car and you will not _flirt_ with him."

"Gah, why do you care so much? He'll probably just blow me off anyway," she remarked.

Good. Maybe she got the hint about Takumi's former girlfriend being famous and would give up, and maybe Takumi would just "blow her off anyway". At least, he hoped he would. "Behave," he admonished again, just in case.

She sulked a little, but she'd get over it. He dialed Takumi's cell. "Hi. We're finished...yes...we'll meet you out front then. Bye."

"At least ask him if he would take my email address. I won't ask him directly, just ask him for me, will you?"

He exhaled with a sigh. "Fine. I'll tell him that he is welcome to your email address if he wants it, but do not be disappointed if he says no. And do not ask me again."

"Yay! See you _are_ my favorite cousin!"

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled as they rose and walked out of the bakery. A few moments later, the little black-and-white car pulled up to the curb. Ryousuke walked around to the passenger seat and let Tsugumi into the backseat once more, and let himself into the car as well.

"Hi," he greeted to Takumi, trying desperately to shake the name "Hottie-hotness" from his mind.

"Hi. Where do I go from here?" came the quiet response.

"Can we go to the mall?" Tsugumi asked which caused her cousin to turn around in the front seat with a frown.

"No. We're taking you home now."

"Oh. Do you have plans?"

"Yes. We have plans," he said simply. Honestly, he didn't really know if they had plans, but that was more than all right. He just wanted her out of the car. Stat.

Takumi pulled the hachi-roku into traffic and began to follow Ryousuke's spoken driving directions once more. "Keisuke called me," he offered at length. "He finished that errand he was running for you."

"Ah. Okay."

"He said for you to call him after we drop Tsugumi-chan at home."

"Okay."

"Ne-ne, Fujiwara-san?" Tsugumi ventured, "Can I ask you a question?"

Hottie-hotness shot a quick glance to Ryousuke and then another quick glance to his back mirror. "I guess so," he responded. God he really was super shy! Her cousin gave her a look that said "behave" though, so she was just going to make small talk.

"Ryousuke told me you were going to be a professional racer. That's really cool."

"Uh, well, I haven't signed a contract yet," he said plainly.

"It's still cool anyway. Are you really a fast driver like my cousins?"

 _Do I have to answer that?_

"I guess I like to drive fast."

"Tsugumi," her cousin butt in, "let him concentrate on the road. He's not as familiar with Takasaki as we are."

She gave a little scowl in response. "Sorry, Fujiwara-san."

"It's okay."

The three were quiet as they made their way toward the more residential areas of town and toward her home. "So where are you from, if you're not from Takasaki?"

"Shibukawa," came the one-word answer.

"Oh, so you're still from Gunma. That's nice." She knew she was starting to push her luck a bit with her cousin, but come _on_. Even the teenage driver's quiet little voice was hotness. She hoped that Ryousuke would actually give him her email address or her phone number and not just say he did, but the last little look he threw in her direction told her to can it or else, so she was pretty sure he wouldn't. Oh well. She could just annoy him until he relented.

"Turn right here," Ryousuke directed, "then take the second left."

Hottie nodded and, she realized, his driving _was_ really smooth, just like Ryousuke's and Keisuke's. He probably was really fast; Ryousuke always said you could tell a good driver from a bad one at any speed, and she could certainly tell that Hottie was good. She had barely felt anything when he shifted, and this was kind of an old car. Some of the old cars the third years at school had definitely rode like it, but not this car. Even if the backseat was stupid-tiny, she felt really relaxed, just like whenever she rode with Ryousuke.

Eventually, Ryousuke had directed him to the driveway of a single story Western-style home in another nice neighborhood in Takasaki.

 _I guess the whole family is rich. This is another nice house._

He signaled the turn into the circular drive in front of the home where he stopped under a portico which extended out from the front door of the home and out to cover and shade the driveway. "All right Tsugumi," Ryousuke said, "I'll see you next week, okay?"

"Okay. It was nice meeting you, Fujiwara-san. Thank you for driving today; I can tell you're a good driver," she added with one of her winning smiles. To her extreme delight, Hottie lowered his sunglasses due to the shade of the covered driveway and turned to face her with a sort of shy not-quite-smile. Oh. God. His eyes were so pretty! She thought she was going to melt right there in the back seat. So gorgeous!

"Nice to meet you too, Tsugumi-chan. Have a good evening."

"I will!" she beamed as her cousin made a deliberate huffing noise when he opened the car door to let her out. She alighted from the car and stuck her tongue out at her cousin. "You better ask him if he wants my email," she whispered. "Don't be so overprotective of me. He's totally sweet! I know he'd be a great boyfriend!"

Ryousuke inwardly groaned. If she only knew…

He got back into the car as Tsugumi waved a final goodbye when she opened the front door of the house. He exhaled with relief that she was gone.

"Are you all right?" Takumi asked with a quizzical look.

"I'm totally drained, actually," he said with a laugh. "She is very...energetic."

"Yeah, I could tell."

 _She's definitely a lot like Mogi. Wow_.

"Before I get in trouble, I did agree to ask on her behalf if you would like her email address."

 _What?!_

"Are you kidding?" Takumi asked incredulously.

"No. Apparently, you are now known as 'Hottie-hotness'," he added with a dour expression and the tone to match.

 _What?! The hell?!_

"Come on, you're pulling my leg."

"I wish," he deadpanned. " _Please_ tell me you do not want my cousin's email address or phone number, and that you have no interest in dating her. My ego needs to hear it," he said with a little chuckle.

 _Oh, you left yourself way too wide open. I can't resist. Sorry._

"Hmm," Takumi mock-considered, "well, she _is_ really cute…"

"Oh dear Lord," Ryousuke lamented, putting his head in his hand as he propped his elbow on the car door.

Takumi just laughed a little and started on the road back to the resort in Saitama, hoping to make this final day last as long as it possibly could.


	49. Chapter 49

Hotel Miyama, Chichibu, Saitama, Saturday, 9:00 AM

Takumi opened his eyes. The room was bathed in muted morning light by rays of sunlight that passed through the curtains which covered the sliding glass doors to the balcony. His dad agreed to deliver the tofu earlier for him, even though he had asked last minute the evening before, and he was grateful for it. Sometimes, that Shitty Old Man was the Best Old Man around, even if he hated to admit it most of the time.

As he awakened more, he felt the soft sensation of touch. He turned to the man who shared his bed; the partner was already awake and absently running his fingers through his hair, and Takumi didn't want to leave the bed because he knew that Ryousuke wouldn't be sharing it with him again.

"Good morning," the elder said softly, his voice having the hushed rasp of a person who had awakened not much earlier than had he.

"'Mornin'," the younger replied with a yawn he tried and failed to stifle. "What time is it?" he whispered.

"About nine."

Checkout was at eleven.

 _Two hours left with him._

Takumi closed his eyes, wishing he could doze off again and that the action would somehow rewind things enough to give him more time. But that wasn't possible; possible had become not only improbable, but impossible too, and Takumi didn't really know what to do about it.

 _I can still text him, right? I can still talk to him. He'll probably email me a lot, right? Or maybe he won't. Maybe…_

"Do you want to order room service for breakfast?" The quiet question that interrupted his thoughts came from the man who hadn't stopped gently pulling the strands of his hair through his fingertips as they lay together sharing the warmth of the covers and of their proximity. They were close enough that Takumi could smell the scent of spiced soap faintly on the elder's skin, and the somewhat floral-but-not-quite aroma of the shampoo from his dark hair. Did he want room service for breakfast? Not really. He didn't even want food to get in the way of these last two hours at all.

"If you want," he said instead, not wanting to make things unnecessarily hard for Ryousuke, even though, instinctively, he knew that just as he didn't want any part of the morning interrupted, Ryousuke probably needed the interruption to stop him from mentally dwelling on everything that had happened to bring them to this point.

"How about coffee and juice then?" he gently said, obviously sensing Takumi's thoughts and wanting to meet him halfway as much as possible.

"Okay."

Ryousuke leaned over and placed a soft, chaste kiss on his lips, followed by another one on his forehead; it used to sort of embarrass him when the elder did things like that, Takumi having had the notion that a forehead kiss was more like what a parent might give to a child than what a man should give to another man in bed, but he had learned to let that go in the last couple of months. He learned that Ryousuke wasn't fully happy unless he could spoil him a little from time to time, so Takumi filed those sugary sweet gestures under the header of "spoiling", and he let him do it because he also now knew that the number of people Ryousuke actually spoiled was incredibly small.

A gesture like that from a person like Ryousuke was reserved for the extremely privileged few. He certainly spoiled Keisuke sometimes, even though at other times he could be really harsh with his brother, and he could tell that he definitely spoiled his cousin Tsugumi-chan; she was super cute, so Takumi could see how that could happen, especially since they were relatives and she was almost ten years younger. She was probably cute as a little kid too and probably got plenty of forehead kisses of her own from him. Maybe even Keisuke had gotten a few at some point in their lives when they were little; Takumi didn't know, but he thought so anyway. He knew that he was the third person on that very short "Spoiled By Takahashi Ryousuke" list and, especially on their last morning to wake together, he wasn't going to make a show of brushing his forehead with the back of his hand after Ryousuke kissed it like he had done more than once in their time together. Since the evening before, Takumi had decided to give in to whatever the elder wanted on their last night and morning as lovers; maybe there was some merit in spoiling someone every once in awhile, especially if _he_ could spoil _Ryousuke_ a little for a change.

When he didn't brush the forehead kiss away, he saw that little half smile dance across the man's lips and the flicker of happiness and adoration in his eyes that caused his cheeks to heat. It caused him to involuntarily turn away for a minute, though, even if he decided he wasn't really embarrassed anymore, because there were still times when he couldn't believe that he was the recipient of gazes like that from the White Comet of Akagi. However, when he had actually sat down one night not terribly long ago and really thought about it, he realized that he'd been receiving that look of happiness and adoration from time to time all along. It was there at the disbandment party when he was sipping the first beer of his life as he palled around with Keisuke. It was there after his final battle against Shinji, even when he destroyed his car and crossed the finish line in reverse. It was there after the battle with the God of Hand when Ryousuke walked him over and asked the older racer to take him in his navi-seat so he could observe the One Hand Steer. It was there after he had managed a win of desperation by turning off his headlights and racing the professional driver Tomoyuki Tachi from the Toudou School in the dark, because there was simply nothing else he could think of to do that would give him the chance to beat him. It had been there all the way back to their own battle together when they were at the bottom of the course and Ryousuke told him not to limit his own gaze to the small stage of the Akina togue.

In all of that time, those fleeting moments of adoration were there even though Takumi was just being his clueless self. But when he knew he had met Ryousuke's expectations, and that joy and happiness was there in the elder's dark eyes, it made all of the struggles in the battles worth it. He wanted to see that as much as possible this morning, because he wasn't sure if he knew how to be "just friends" with the man anymore; he had resolved to put that fear aside for a few more hours until he drove away.

Ryousuke turned in the bed to reach for the room service menu he had placed on the nightstand the night before. It was placed there after they had ordered their dinner to spend a quiet evening alone in the room, and after a very pronounced mutual veto to the idea of joining Keisuke and his girlfriend in the mixed bathing area of the onsen for a soak. They had one more night to be alone together and selfish, and, even if they were at an onsen, Takumi was pretty darn sure that actually taking a bath in the hot spring wasn't a requirement of staying there, and he wasn't about to get naked in front of all three of them. Thankfully, Ryousuke had the same notion and agreed too, and they retired to a nice room service dinner and a couple of glasses of some kind of red wine with a weird name: Shiatsu, Shores, Chaise, what was it called again? The elder had ordered two glasses of it with the meal after getting pretty excited about seeing a particular brand from Australia on the wine list of the room service menu, and Takumi didn't have the heart to tell him he didn't like it all that much after he drank it. He would have been fine with just water or a Coke, but he had given in a couple of times with wine before on what he was pretty sure had been "dates" with Ryousuke, so he certainly wasn't going to argue with the elder about it on the occasion of their last one of those. He was supposed to be spoiling him too after all, and it was fine. Of the different wines the partner had gotten him to sample, however, he probably liked this one the least and it was obvious that Ryousuke liked it the most. Oh well. Wine was one of those things that his lover enjoyed that was too hard for Takumi to understand anyway.

 _Oh. "Shiraz". That's what it was called._

He resolved to remember it, even if knowing Ryousuke's favorite type of wine probably wouldn't matter anymore.

After he perused the menu for a minute or two, Ryousuke reached again to the nightstand for the room phone and quietly ordered juice and coffee and a couple of other light breakfast items anyway, providing an instruction to charge it to the room. Before they ordered dinner the night before, he had discreetly changed the method of payment for their room from Keisuke's card to his own credit card, not wanting his brother to pay for it. Takumi had given him a half-assed admonition for that in the lobby out of respect for what Keisuke did for them of his own free will, but Ryousuke could be very stubborn about stuff like that, and Takumi supposed that it was more fair that one of them pay for a room that Keisuke wasn't using himself anyway. He didn't even try to offer to pay for it himself, having already been denied the opportunity by the younger Takahashi brother, so he dismissed it and let the elder Takahashi do as he pleased. If he was spoiling the elder anyway, he might as well let Ryousuke spoil him for one more night too.

When they had dropped off his cousin the day before, and after he learned that maybe she might have wished to get to know him better, Takumi actually thought Ryousuke's more-than-sort-of jealousy over it was kind of, well, _cute_. At first the notion startled him; he had certainly let Ryousuke know on more than one occasion that he never wanted to be thought of as cute at all, thinking that cute was for girls and puppies and kittens and product mascots and things, and certainly not an adjective that should be used by a guy toward another guy. However, seeing Ryousuke's reaction to his cousin wanting to give him her email address made all of that seem not to much matter; that girl had worked some kind of magic with him which had improved his mood and demeanor when they got back into the car after their lesson, so much so that the drive back to the resort was pleasantly punctuated by gentle teasing back and forth about their various quirks and conversations about all manner of ridiculous things like "how often do you _really_ go clothes shopping?" and "how many times did you fall asleep in class after making the deliveries?" She must have some talent to bring this playful side of Ryousuke out so easily; if Takumi thought that there was a future in his relationship with the man, he might have taken her email address just to get inside info on him for the purposes of teasing him more, because it was kind of fun to see the reactions when the elder allowed them to occur so freely.

 _Like we're friends. That's what we're supposed to be after today._

Could he really be _friends_ with this man who would be a doctor someday and the head of his family's entire company? Takumi didn't go to school at a fancy academy like the one they visited the day before. He supposed the Shitty Old Man would have given him the family business if he actually gave two shits about learning to make tofu, but, clearly, a small sole-proprietorship like their family store in Shibukawa was not the same thing as Ryousuke being the head of a multi-prefecture hospital and clinic outfit. His dad didn't really have any particular expectations of greatness for him; didn't he still think of him as a "shitty driver" even though he was about to go pro? He might only begin to approach Ryousuke's obvious wealth if he got a 1000 yen note for every time the Shitty Old Man called him an Idiot or a Moron. Even if he was a professional driver, he didn't think that drivers and doctors would necessarily travel in the same social circles either, hell, he still wasn't quite sure what the definition of a social circle really _was_. If it meant the people one normally hangs out with, certainly his Speed Stars friends wouldn't run in a circle with Dr. Takahashi Ryousuke and his lovely wife someday.

It wasn't likely that they would have ever met at all if he hadn't accepted his father's bribe to give him a full tank of gas if he beat some punk in an FD that night, just so he could take a pretty girl to the beach the following day.

That time somehow managed to feel so long ago and like only yesterday all at once to him, and never in his wildest dreams did he think he would wake up one day in bed with the serious-looking, raven-haired man whom he had learned from Iketani was the elder of the Takahashi Rotary Brothers.

And, of course, never in his wildest dreams did he ever think he would be loved by that man either.

Once the room service order was placed, Ryousuke settled back under the covers, apparently also having decided that there was no particular need to leave the warmth of the shared bed quite yet. Takumi didn't want to leave it at all, maybe never, and the fingertips that had been gently threading themselves through his hair earlier had now switched to tracing random shapes on his t-shirt-covered chest instead, at the place right above his heart. "Do you have to work today?" he asked softly.

"Yeah. Tonight at the warehouse."

Ryousuke sighed. "You can probably quit that job, you know," he said. "In a month, you'll have a much bigger paycheck that will cover you for this month as well," he remarked.

"I don't have that yet," Takumi returned. "I haven't signed the contract."

The elder made his little huffing sound. "At this point, Takumi, the contract is just a formality. They've sent you all the specs on the car, and they've given you their roster of available navigators. They aren't going to back out now."

"I'll quit when I sign," he stubbornly but quietly asserted. "I know better than to purposely stop earning money. What if the Shitty Old Man decides to spend the mortgage and electricity money on going to the bar? At least I can cover some of it if he does so I won't worry about him losing the store. And don't look at me like that because he's done it before and I get really pissed off at him when he does."

"Okay," the elder relented with a gentle smile, cancelling his apparent look of surprise. "Just promise me you won't injure yourself at the moving company between now and then. I don't want anything to jeopardize this for you."

Takumi rolled his eyes before closing them. "I think I'll be fine."

The pair lay in silence for a few moments, and the absently drawn shapes kept appearing on his chest. "Your team will obviously have a physician on staff," Ryousuke said quietly, "but...my family owns one clinic in Sapporo. If you were to get sick up there, I'd feel better if you were to go see that Doctor as well."

Takumi opened his eyes and looked at the elder with a question in his gaze. "What, you don't trust the team doctor?"

Ryousuke chuckled a little, "Oh, I'm sure he or she will be excellent, but, the Doctor at our clinic there is actually one of our best general practitioners."

"Oh." Should he really go see a doctor that worked for Ryousuke's father?

"He started out as a young physician working for my Grandfather at the main hospital, but, he had family reasons for going back to Hokkaido and we've never been able to convince him to return to Gunma," Ryousuke explained, as if reading his thoughts. Apparently this sensei wasn't hired by his father after all. "He's an older country-doctor type," he continued, "but his mind is very sharp and he keeps current with all the latest medicines and techniques. My Father actually sent me there for a few weeks in the summer a couple of years ago to learn some things about general practice from him."

"Really?"

"Yeah…" His voice trailed off and Takumi could tell he was seriously hesitating over what he would say next.

"What is it?" he asked softly.

"Are you...okay with it if I let him know that someone very important to me will be living in his neck of the woods for awhile?"

Takumi considered the question, knowing that it was probably incredibly difficult for Ryousuke to ask him instead of just deciding to do it on his own without him knowing. "Yeah, I guess I'm okay with that."

He could see the relief in Ryousuke's eyes toward his response. "Good. I'll call him and let him know before I-…" the elder stopped mid-sentence, interrupting his own conversational line.

"Leave?" Takumi whispered.

Ryousuke said nothing and rolled onto his back as he raised the fingertips of his right hand to the bridge of his nose, a gesture Takumi had come to recognize as one of the things he did when he was contemplating something very seriously. He exhaled and dropped his hand and stared at the ceiling.

 _He's already starting to go far away, even if I'm right next to him. I hate this. I hate it._

"What are we going to do from now?" Takumi ventured to ask.

"You're going to let me keep watching your career."

"And what do we do if that isn't...enough?"

Silence.

 _I hate this. I remember asking him before if he would worry if I didn't want to stop seeing him. He told me he would, but not for the reasons I was thinking. I get it now. He knew how he felt even then when I didn't have a clue. It won't be enough for either of us, will it, Ryousuke?_

"Ryousuke…?"

"Don't ask me something like that," he whispered, "especially after you let me love you so completely last night…"

Takumi felt his cheeks heat again. It was true; the night before had started with a small ember that grew to a passionate blaze that burned away any lingering doubt Takumi may have had somewhere about whether or not Ryousuke's love for him was anything but true. Even though he'd been bold enough to take the lead the previous time, he wanted for nothing more after their quiet dinner with the wine he didn't like than for Ryousuke to show him everything he couldn't say with words. He did love him completely; the tenderness and comfort that Takumi experienced within his embrace would be forever engraved upon his heart that was about to break.

The elder exhaled again and his hand went back to its place on the bridge of his nose. "If there was any way…"

"I know there isn't, so please don't worry. I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize for my _inability_ to figure something out," he said sternly.

 _Ryousuke…_

Takumi said nothing and only watched him breathe as he mentally struggled with whatever he was thinking, or maybe he was _emotionally_ struggling with whatever he was _feeling_. Takumi could practically _see_ the desperately turning mental gears of the man who could normally assess any situation with cold calm and calculate any number of winning simulations. And yet, he couldn't solve _this_.

He was trying so hard, so urgently as he lay there with a stillness that anyone else would see as calm, but Takumi knew better. This was something else entirely the opposite of calm; this man who was usually reserved and even somewhat distant at times was feeling something so intense in this moment, and Takumi wanted to reach out to him to tell him it would be okay, but he couldn't do it because he wasn't sure that it would be the truth anyway. What was Ryousuke feeling right now as he lay under the warm bedclothes with his fingers at the bridge of his nose? Why was it that Takumi still couldn't exactly _tell,_ even though he was closer to him than he was to anyone else in his life right now? Was it worry? What was it?

 _Tell me what you're feeling right now...I need to know and I don't care what it is._

"Ryou-"

"Takumi," the elder started to interrupt, but then he fell silent again, as if he didn't want to say anything after all. Takumi waited. He was going to say _something_ , but the younger knew that his partner wasn't comfortable with strong emotions; he certainly had problems dealing with his temper, well, his own temper as well sometimes, and he wasn't really good at talking about "feelings", not that Takumi thought himself to be some kind of expert on that or anything either. For Ryousuke, however, the younger knew that his difficulties with how he "felt" went much deeper than simply not knowing what words to say.

Ryousuke could usually explain anything, and explain, and explain to such ad nauseum sometimes at their practices that Keisuke would eventually get exasperated and break in to the lecture with his hand raised as though he was in school. He would combine the gesture with a snarky sing-song "Sen~sei! Stop lecturing past the bell! It's time for recess!" When he did it, it caused his brother to stop and stare, his expression looking as though he was caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar. It caused the team members to snicker, and even caused Ryousuke to let go a little to laugh in spite of himself before he relented and called for all of them to take a break. He could just get so laser focused on technical things and his calculated simulations that everything else disappeared before he even realized it. But emotional things tripped him up, and Takumi had learned this well, so he knew he had to be patient until he figured something out to his own satisfaction.

Continuing their relationship was something he just couldn't figure out, and it was probably killing him that he couldn't.

Takumi believed that most of Ryousuke's issues probably resulted from how he had been raised to be the heir to that family of status into which he was born. There were plenty of times when Takumi thought being poor was actually kind of fun; he managed to have enough to eat, he didn't have a lot of house rules growing up, and he could smile freely whenever he wanted to, if he felt like doing it. He remembered the time when he thought for sure the Shitty Old Man forgot his birthday when he was about to turn thirteen, and he and Itsuki conspired for days over how Takumi could ensure that he would at least get a birthday gift. He remembered coming home to outright ask for one, only to hear the S.O.M. on the phone with the bank or the electric company, asking them for one more week to pay the bills he owed. Takumi felt guilty for being so selfish as to ask for a birthday present, until he saw that his father used the money to buy more beer and cigarettes. He got angry and left in a huff, only to reflect for a moment that at least he wasn't a little kid in Africa or somewhere who couldn't smile because he hadn't had enough to eat. At least he could smile with a full belly most days, and smiling was free. Of course, he also flirted with the idea of becoming a juvenile delinquent, thinking that, surely, a nice police officer would sternly admonish his father for being such a lousy parent to make him drive illegally, and Takumi could come away with the best present ever. He tried to do it too, "stealing" the hachi-roku and driving around town for hours hoping to get pulled over by said nice police officer, but it never happened even though he was a twelve year old driving in broad daylight in his father's stupid car.

With that plan as a failure, he'd ended up settling for "running away" to Itsuki's house for a sleepover on his birthday without calling home to let his father know where he was, just to see if the Shitty Old Man would notice or care if he was gone. He did notice, and he picked him up and took him for a drive, and not the normal driving either. He really _drove_ , and Takumi remembered that birthday as one of the first times he thought the Shitty Old Man was actually kind of cool.

He was pretty damn sure that Ryousuke's Father had to be the opposite of cool. He probably ordered his son around and forced him to try and be 100% perfect all the time, and probably wouldn't tolerate a single tear for a scraped knee, or even allow him to do anything that would maybe result in the scraped knee in the first place. His life was filled with school, and then more school, and then more school; Takumi wondered how Ryousuke managed to get his Father to go along with racing at all, and to foot the bill for a lot of it too. It seemed that he was allowed that one release from his daily life for whatever reason, and Takumi was sure he wouldn't understand it.

But even racing was gone for him now. Not to mention that he had gotten beat up and, even as a man of twenty-four, he got the teenager's grounding Takumi's own father should have given him but didn't when he had run away to Itsuki's. Being rich made a lot of things easier, but it also looked like it made the most basic things in life, like being able to understand or communicate one's own feelings, ridiculously hard. In a lot of ways, he thought Ryousuke's life was a lot harder than his own had been, despite getting their lights or heat turned off every once in awhile because the Shitty Old Man couldn't pay the bill.

So Takumi waited as the sun began earnestly to pour into the room through the drawn curtains, and as the birds chirped outside, and as the gentle whir of the heater clicked on to heat the air around their shared bed.

And as Ryousuke struggled to say whatever it was that it now appeared he was ready to say.

"I'm _terrified_ that I will lose you as completely as I love you."

 _Terrified?!_

What could Takumi say in reply to that? It looked as though his lover was reliving a very painful memory, one that Takumi didn't know about at all. It was almost as if the elder had this feeling before and he either didn't know how to deal with it, or he wanted desperately to _avoid_ dealing with it. Had he lost someone before? Takumi didn't know for certain, but by the way he said that, it had to be true. Who had Ryousuke loved before the same way he loved him?

"Who was it?" he asked.

Ryousuke immediately turned to face him with a very startled expression. "What are you talking about?"

"Who...did you lose completely?"

The dark eyes widened a little before he closed them and turned away before opening them to look upward toward the ceiling again. "I don't want to tell you about that," he said simply.

"Why?"

"Because I settled it in Kanagawa."

 _What? Was that why he disappeared that time, when none of us could reach him, not even Keisuke? Is that why he modded out the FC? Because he lost someone? Who?!_

"Did you really settle it?"

He sighed, but his breath was unsteady, as though he was forcefully keeping something that was welling up inside of him in check. "Yes."

"Then, it should be okay. You were able to get part of them back, right?"

"No. I...I never can." The voice that was normally smooth and certain was as unsteady as his breath.

"What do you mean?" the younger asked with true concern. He'd never seen Ryousuke in a state of _fear_ like this. What happened? Had that been another impossible problem he couldn't solve?

"She's dead."

 _Dead?! She?!_

"I...I don't understand…"

Saying it aloud seemed to relieve a bit of the pressure, and now the voice that came through was certain again. "I recklessly pursued a relationship with a woman who was already engaged by arrangement to the very man who showed me the togue," he explained quietly, but steadily. "It was barely a relationship actually, truth be told, but I went along with it anyway. I didn't plan to fall in love with her."

Takumi absorbed everything he was hearing, still a bit in shock that the person Ryousuke had loved was a woman, but, so be it. Hadn't he loved Mika before too? Everyone had a past, and a future; they both would have lovers again, even if it was painful now to think about it. But, if this woman was dead, she didn't have that. It _was_ a complete loss for him.

"Was she sick?" he asked tentatively.

"I could have done something more if that had been the case," he said evenly. "I didn't plan to tell you about her, because I knew this couldn't continue long term. But now...that we're in this situation, it's bringing those memories back for me and I can't stand it, even though I knew this was the exact thing that would happen if I ever allowed myself to act so recklessly again. You and I developed a much more complete relationship than I ever had with her, and...I also didn't plan to fall in love with you."

Takumi was thoughtful for a moment. "I don't think you can really plan stuff like that. It's not like I planned anything either."

Ryousuke shook his head slightly in the negative, his breaths a little labored again. "I thought I could handle it. I thought it would be different, because you'll still be out there, living your dreams and alive and well and-"

Takumi quickly moved over him and silenced his lover with a passionate kiss. "Nevermind it," he said once the kiss broke and he knew he had the elder's complete attention. "I don't need to know about it."

"Takumi…"

"Tell me someday if you feel like you want to, or that you can. I can tell that you can't right now. It's fine."

Takumi saw his lover's expression soften again, and one of his cool palms was raised to the side of his face as he drew him down for another kiss, where lips and tongue met in a lazy and gentle caress. He was calm now, relieved maybe, that he hadn't been forced to tell the complete story. Takumi knew exactly what was coming in the next moment. He knew it, and he couldn't stop it.

"Then make me your promise," Ryousuke whispered.

 _Shit. I didn't want to do that after all. But I guess I have to…_

He opened his mouth to speak, but the words were trapped in his throat.

"I need you to do this. Please,' the elder implored, "if we are to move forward, I need to hear it from you that you won't hold yourself back."

Takumi didn't want to say the words, didn't want to promise something like that to someone like Ryousuke, but he knew that he had no choice. There was no chance to win here, not even by a stroke of his impossible luck.

This dream was _over_.

"I...won't," he whispered, rolling off the partner and back to his own side of the bed once more to look upward toward the ceiling too. At that moment, nothing else could really be said. The sun continued to light the room, the heating unit clicked off again; the sound of shared breath was barely noticeable, but there for a few more fleeting moments to provide a final source of comfort before the inevitable reality of "over" set in for them both.

"We'll stay as we are until we walk out that door, okay?" the elder said as an affirmation of all that they had, and all that they were about to leave behind.

"Okay."

 _How many more minutes is that?_

"And you won't disappear from my life," he whispered.

"...No..."

 _But I have to learn how to be only friends with you again. I don't know how long it will take for me to be able to do that. Will you be okay with that?_

"And you'll _crush_ your opponents."

"Yeah. If I can."

 _But what if I can't? What if I need your advice and you're gone? What if I hate my coach?_

"You _will_."

"Yeah."

 _Only if I know you are still watching me from somewhere_.

"Then we stay as we are until we leave here," he repeated softly after a few more moments of listening to the ambient sounds of the room to stave off the coming pain for as long as he could do it. He was studying medicine to learn how to heal others from the pain of physical human frailty, but no doctor had so far discovered how to heal the pain of this very human _experience_. Takumi was glad Ryousuke didn't give him any empty clichès about time being the healer of all wounds, or that "this, too, shall pass" or any other such trite consolation. There had never been any pretenses about what it was that they were doing, or for how long they could get away with doing it, and there had never been any pretenses of romance either. It was only a shared human experience that they had together, a shared companionship that didn't need trite romance at all to make it perfect in its very imperfection. For whatever moments that remained before they crossed the threshold of the room, they would be imperfectly but completely loved by each other. "Let me enjoy being with you as my Lover until the last possible moment."

Before he could utter the "okay" he was about to say, Ryousuke had leaned over him and kissed him tenderly on his lips, nose, forehead, cheeks, and chin before he finally kissed that spot behind his ear and lingered there. "You're beautiful to me. Every inch of you. And don't tell me not to say weird things like that this time."

"I won't...And...you're not bad yourself, you know."

The elder made his little soft huffing sound again, apparently thankful that his Beautiful One had sensed his desperate need to shift the mood. "I'll take that," he said lightly as he raised himself in bed with a genuine smile that Takumi never wanted to forget because he wasn't sure he'd ever see Ryousuke feel free enough to show it to him again.

"A thousand gallery girls can't be wrong, right?" the younger returned with a lighter air of his own. Maybe one clichè would be okay, and maybe a teeny bit of laughter was the best medicine in these final moments after all, even if it was a little forced and they both knew it as much as they needed it.

Ryousuke allowed another small chuckle to escape him. "Not any more wrong than your million fangirls will be I suppose." A soft knock at the door signaled the arrival of their breakfast. "I'll get it," he said quietly as he rose out of the bed to go to the door. "Did you...need to step into the bathroom while I answer it?"

 _No. I've decided that's stupid now and it's stupid of you to say that._

"What do I care about what a hotel employee thinks?" Takumi boldly asked. He saw the elder's eyes widen once more and he gave him a serious look as another knock came. He noticed that Ryousuke's gaze slipped sidelong to the obviously unused other bed in the room. "Unless... _you_ need me to do that," he added softly. Ryousuke stiffened a little, as if he now realized what he had probably done unconsciously.

"No. I don't."

He turned and opened the door to allow a young female employee dressed in a cute sky blue kimono, who was probably a high school third year part-timer, to push into the room a small cart that carried their breakfast. Takumi just lay down on the pillows and willed his heart to stop racing. No matter that he'd been bold enough to say it, it didn't stop his own unconscious reaction. Maybe he was still a little nervous, but being nervous was different than thinking his relationship with Ryousuke had been wrong. If there was anyone he shouldn't be embarrassed about being with, it was Takahashi Ryousuke.

For his part, Ryousuke acted nonchalant, even when the girl sort of glanced in the direction of the still-made bed as well, but nothing was said and she exited with no undue haste.

Takumi got out of bed to take a drink of juice and to pour their coffee as the elder shut the door. He lingered there for a moment with his back to it and a little smirk on his face.

"What?" Takumi grumbled between sips of orange juice.

"Don't ever stop surprising me."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing. But, I'm pretty sure we'll be the topic of conversation in the part-timer break room," he said with a little laugh.

"Why?" the younger asked with a frown.

"Her kimono may have been blue, but her cheeks were a lovely shade of pink when she left."

 _Oh God. Wait. Didn't I say I didn't care?_

"Uh…"

"I'm not worried about it," he returned with a small wave of his hand. "I'm sure she's seen it before if she has weekend breakfast duty," he added with that little glint of mischief in his eyes that Takumi loved to see.

 _Okay. If he's not worried, I'm not._

They sat down at the table in the room and drank their coffee. Even though Takumi hadn't originally wanted to eat, the sight of the delicate breakfast food Ryousuke had selected made him change his mind. He grabbed a pastry and took a bite, enjoying the light texture and taste.

"Besides, that ended up being better for _me_ anyway," the older man said after a few sips of coffee.

"Why?"

"At least I won't probably have to think about _that_ particular pretty high-school girl wanting to give you her phone number."

"Oh shut up."

They finished eating, and had just finished getting showered and changed when Ryousuke's burner phone started ringing from inside his pocket. He pulled it out and answered it with a "Good morning" as he zipped his suitcase. "...God, Keisuke, really...yes we're _presentable_. Are you?" he quipped into the small phone. "Fine." He closed the call.

"Was he teasing you again?" Takumi asked softly.

The elder emitted one of his long-suffering sighs. "Always. He'll meet us downstairs."

"Okay."

They gathered up their things and Takumi was about to reach for the door handle when Ryousuke put his hand on the door to keep him from opening it. "What?"

"I'll call you."

"Okay," he repeated.

"Call me anytime. From _anywhere_. For _any_ reason."

Takumi nodded and looked at the door that, when opened, would send them into the reality neither of them wanted, Ryousuke's reality. This relationship had been a dream, and from all dreams, one must wake. They were both doing their best to end things on a light and positive note, but they both knew it was a front to lessen the hurt that was about to occur, the one that Takumi knew would make the short drive home from Saitama one of the longest roads he'd ever driven in his life.

"Shall we?" the elder whispered, understanding the reasons why they didn't want to leave this little piece of heaven on earth that they had built together, and knowing that they were having to do it because of him: his _family,_ his _career_ , his getting _shipped off_ in three weeks to a place where winter was as serious business as it was to where Takumi would soon be moving. And, of course, his _marriage_ had the most to do with it. God, this was the worst. The absolute fucking _worst_. He loved this young man more than he ever thought it would be possible for him to love another person, and once they walked out that door, his perfect partner would be gone.

Gone, but still _alive_.

If only that solace would be enough. God, he hoped it would be, even if he had the sickening feeling that it wouldn't.

He opened the door and they made their way in silence to the elevator, then through to the lobby where Keisuke was waiting for them. "I see you changed the billing, Aniki," he said as a greeting that was more like an accusation.

"What of it?" Ryousuke blandly replied. "I'm sure you weren't expecting to pay for our dinner, wine, and breakfast," he added in his own defense as he went to the front desk to sign the bill.

"What a prick," Keisuke muttered under his breath. To Takumi he asked crossly, "Why did you let him do that?"

"You think I could have stopped him?"

Keisuke scowled a little as he considered. "Yeah. Okay. Been there done that."

The two Aces continued to wait for Ryousuke to settle up at the front desk; he seemed to be engaged in polite conversation with the attendant as he read over his bill. Everything had the feeling of "per usual", and Keisuke wondered how that could be. He looked at his rival again, and he was staring off somewhere, but calm. Did they figure something out after all? Or was it over? He couldn't tell by looking at them if anything was particularly wrong or right. "Yo. Takumi," he said in a hushed tone to get his friend's attention. When the younger turned to face him, he asked "Are you two all right?"

He saw a slight change in his friend's expression, and a flash of emotion flickered over his eyes, but he recovered it. "No," he replied softly. "We're not."

"Well shit," Keisuke said. 'Maybe you could-"

"Keisuke," Takumi interrupted. "I need to fake it right now, okay? I won't show him what I'm feeling because it will make him more upset than he already is," he added in a whisper.

The FD driver glanced back toward the Front Desk where Ryousuke had signed his name and was neatly folding the receipt and sliding into the front pocket of his suitcase. "Yeah, I could kinda tell he was faking it too," he remarked. "I'm...sorry about this…"

"Why are you sorry? This is not a surprise," the younger said darkly. They had started to walk outside so the FD driver could have a cigarette while they waited for Ryousuke to finish. "And...we got to spend this time because you helped."

Keisuke shrugged, finding a spot several feet from the entrance that had an outdoor smoking area. He lit up and exhaled. "Don't worry about that. I'm only saying I'm sorry because our family decided to fuck it up royal for the both of you."

"They didn't do anything to me," Takumi offered. "I'm nobody to them."

"But-"

"Keisuke, please take care of him," Takumi whispered. "I'm...worried about him…"

"Yeah, I'll take care of him," the FD driver replied. So the little weirdo really did love his brother. Outwardly, he was his normal sort of vacant self, but Keisuke could see that his eyes told a different story. He was doing an admirable job of holding it in; Keisuke supposed he thought he had to do that, or maybe they both decided sometime this morning not to show each other a face they didn't want the other to see. If Takumi were to have the same expression he remembered seeing on his brother that morning in the kitchen after he had fucked things up for them before, he was sure that Ryousuke wouldn't be able to handle that; instinctively, Takumi probably knew it too, even if he hadn't seen it that day for himself. Hell, he wasn't sure he could handle it either, so he was sort of glad they were faking it for once. At least, when they got home, his brother could lock himself in his room and study until his brains were leaking out of his ears; if he focused on that, maybe he could keep from falling apart. God, he hoped so.

" _Don't_ let that man touch him again," Takumi warned seriously.

Keisuke looked at him hard. "You _know_ I won't."

The younger driver seemed satisfied as he gave a curt nod in reply. By this time, Ryousuke was stepping outside and looking for them. "Over here, Aniki," Keisuke called softly.

The elder came over with one of his fake-smiles plastered on his face. Keisuke hated that, but he understood why it was there today. He had the sinking feeling that he would be seeing a lot more of it too in the weeks ahead.

"All settled up?" he asked.

"Yeah."

The three crossed the parking lot to the FD and the hachi-roku, and the drivers opened the trunks to place their bags inside. The morning was chilly, but the sun was warm and bright, and Keisuke wondered how such shit could be going down on what would have been an awesome day before what would likely turn into and awesomely cool and clear night to race on Akagi.

But that probably wouldn't be happening now; Keisuke assumed that his brother would be kept under a very large thumb, if not under direct lock-and-key until he left, so it was not likely that they'd get to drive together before he departed. They may not even let him go to his signing, and that was the _worst_. He wanted to much for his Aniki to be there when he signed on the dotted line, but there was a good chance it wouldn't happen now.

This shit _sucked._

He looked at his brother who was watching his now-former lover intently as he messed around with placing his small bag into the hatchback of the car he rebuilt just for him, designing an engine from scratch just to give that dinosaur of a car another rebirth. Why couldn't he give himself a similar rebirth by telling the 'rents to fuck off so he could continue being happy with the weirdo? He'd been so much happier in recent months, it was almost _scary,_ and now it was being stripped away from him just like everything else in his brother's life that ever gave him joy.

This shit _more_ than sucked.

Keisuke closed his trunk and opened the door to the FD; he climbed into the driver's seat and turned the ignition to bring the twin turbo rotary engine to life before standing again to wait outside the car for his brother.

The two other drivers were standing there, saying nothing with words, but there was definitely a conversation going on. Keisuke didn't quite understand it; he had the passing thought to wonder if Takumi had felt that way when he wordlessly talked with Aniki too, but he pushed the notion aside. That guy had figured them out pretty well, and he was perceptive in his own way. But here, now, it looked as though the rest of the world was totally absent from them, and the only thing that existed was whatever silent conversation they were having that no one else would hear.

"I'll, um, just wait in the car," Keisuke said softly, not completely sure that he was heard at all. He sat down in the seat as the car warmed; he turned the heat on in the vehicle to combat the sunny chill outside, knowing that Aniki had less tolerance for the cold than did he. The morning son hadn't quite eliminated a little sheen of frost from the windshield, so he flipped on the defroster and closed the door.

He watched that silent conversation for a few more seconds, not caring about wasting gas, not caring that the windshield was already cleared. He watched as his brother finally said something aloud, and as Takumi nodded with that look of rapt attention that had always caused Keisuke to feel those flashes of jealousy over the younger driver's ability to completely captivate his Aniki.

But seeing it didn't do that anymore.

He probably shouldn't be staring at them like this. He probably should busy himself with his phone or with digging around for whatever in the console of the FD. He was about to just that when he saw their conversation end and Takumi reach for the door handle to the hachi-roku.

Before Keisuke knew what was happening, his brother reached out and put his hand on the younger's shoulder, stopping him. When Takumi turned around, Keisuke saw something he'd never imagined he would ever see.

Takumi stood fully, and Ryousuke reached out again and grabbed the nape of the younger's neck and pulled him in for a searing kiss, with _tongue_ , for crying out loud; it was so _passionate_ that Keisuke felt his jaw drop and he blinked twice to make sure he was actually seeing his brother do it. Holy shit. He should look away, but he was too shocked to tear his gaze from the sight of his brother actually making out with someone, with _anyone_ , with a _guy_ , with _Takumi_ , in broad daylight in a public fucking parking lot.

He finally managed to return his attention to the steering wheel as the pair outside abruptly parted, and he heard the door to the hachi-roku open and close. Seconds later, Takumi started the car. Keisuke looked up to see his brother standing outside; it looked like his body was full of tension as he gave a curt nod of his own to the younger driver.

With that silent pronouncement made, the hachi-roku was in gear and heading slowly for the exit to the lot; Ryousuke didn't move or turn to watch him go. He just stood there.

And stood there.

And stood there.

Finally, Keisuke rolled the window down. "Aniki," he called out softly, "time to get in the car, okay?"

His brother stiffened a little, but he turned to look toward the lot exit at last. Keisuke followed his gaze, and he saw the turn signal of the hachi-roku go on, and then Takumi turned down the driveway of the resort and was gone from view. Keisuke turned back toward his brother, wondering what expression he would see upon his Aniki's face.

Nothing.

There was nothing to see at all, and Keisuke thought that might be worse than seeing him actually cry or get mad or hit something or throw something. After what he just _did_ , shouldn't there be _something_ there? But there simply wasn't. Maybe he was in his own state of shock, or maybe the reality of what he had just done or that it was over still hadn't set in, or maybe Ryousuke was trying desperately not to _let_ the reality without his lover set in at all. A few more seconds passed before the elder found his legs and walked over to the passenger side of the FD; he opened the door and sat down in the seat, fastening his seatbelt without a word. He leaned his head on the headrest of the seat and closed his eyes, and that was when Keisuke noticed that he was _shaking_.

"Give him a head start," Ryousuke whispered. "And, for today, please don't catch up to him."

Now, even if it wasn't visually apparent, Keisuke could _feel_ the anguish emanating from the passenger seat as his brother sat there. He didn't know what to do. He himself was still reeling with disbelief over what he'd just seen; Ryousuke rarely expressed affection, even privately. The only kisses Keisuke had witnessed from him before were in private moments at home where he would occasionally place a sweet little peck on their Mother's cheek, or a soft forehead kiss on their cousin. He'd received those too when they were small, but that was kid stuff; there was nothing private or sweet or soft or kid stuff about what Keisuke had just seen. That same guarded brother had just publicly displayed a kiss that would have a middle-aged housewife scolding "Do you kiss your Mother with that mouth?!" as if he'd strung together a bunch of swear words before doing it. If their parents had seen it, he was sure that they'd probably both drop dead.

The younger Takahashi reached for his cigarettes and pressed in the lighter. When the lighter popped up he lit the cigarette and exhaled, cracking the window slightly. "Here," he offered.

The elder opened his eyes, and took the proffered cigarette with a shaky hand. He raised it to his lips and took a very long drag of it before opening his own window a little too.

"I think you meant that," Keisuke said quietly.

The elder took another drag from the cigarette before putting his free hand to the bridge of his nose. "You _watched_?" he whispered.

"Pretty hard not to."

Ryousuke exhaled, removed the hand from his face, and continued to smoke. He cracked the window open a little bit more. Keisuke pulled another cigarette out for himself and waited for the car lighter to heat.

"I shouldn't have done that."

Keisuke chuckled once as he lit up. "Probably," he replied simply. The two brothers sat for another long moment. "You could just go to your apartment for a while, if you don't want to go home."

Maybe his brother was considering it, and maybe he wasn't. He sat there in the passenger seat as he finished his cigarette and stubbed it out in the ashtray. "No. I'm already a day late, and I can't afford to anger him much further," he replied, the bitterness and anguish coloring his tone ever so slightly.

Keisuke made a disgusted little noise but said nothing in response. This was how it was going to be until his brother left, of that, the younger brother had no doubt. Their Father's wish would be Aniki's every command, and not even racing or his lover was there anymore to break up the monotony. He put the car in gear and they were on their way toward the exit.

"Thank you…," Ryousuke said in a hushed tone, "for giving me that extra day with him."

"Anytime."

The drive back to Takasaki was a silent one.


	50. Chapter 50

Three Weeks Later, Takahashi Residence, October 28th, 8:30 AM

The day that Keisuke had been dreading had finally arrived. From within the tangled mess that was his bed as he lay in it, he turned and looked at the alarm clock that he dutifully set to 8:45 AM as was his brother's instruction. Setting it actually had no meaning because it wasn't as if he could have slept the night before anyway, even though he tried _really_ hard to do just that. He had only managed to doze here and there, and every time he awoke from one of those semi-sleeps, he felt alone and pissed off, and he knew he shouldn't be feeling like that, and he knew even more that he needed to keep that feeling from showing so that he wouldn't add to his brother's pressure-filled plate.

The events that led up to this morning kept nailing away at the coffin of its truth: empty boxes dropped off by a shipping company on a Tuesday, the empty boxes filled methodically each day and stacked neatly in his brother's room as they were packed, the shipping company returning to the home on a Friday to take a nice chunk of his brother's belongings away from his room, Mother hovering and chatting incessantly about the lovely Ishikawa Midori and Ryousuke's vague but placating responses, and the Old Man showing up way too often for Keisuke's liking just to piss him off and to make sure his brother was as miserable as was humanly possible. All of it. Fucking all of it led up to this fucking excuse for a day; the sky didn't even have the decency to cooperate with a storm that could maybe have cancelled his brother's plane. Nothing prevented this day from coming, and, now that it was here, Keisuke didn't even want to get out of bed.

He had refused to give his Father any opportunity to get his brother alone, so, for the last three weeks he'd stayed close to home as well, all the while bearing witness to his Aniki losing part of himself every single day with his "yes, Sirs" and "thank you, Mothers" and his relentless studies in preparation for his move. He could barely bring himself to help his brother pack, and, mostly, he hadn't unless asked; Ryousuke had been using his fake-smiles and his fake-pleasantness so much that by the time he had finished for his days and began to make his OCD packing lists and place things in the boxes, he was exhausted and quiet, and all Keisuke could do was watch him as they emptied drawers, bookshelves, and part of his closet. They didn't talk much in these moments, aside from Ryousuke giving his very detailed packing instructions, and Keisuke just followed every single one of them while chipping in further to tape the boxes shut and stack them.

There was such a finality to seeing the tidy little towers of moving boxes along one side of his brother's room on the night before the shipping company arrived to take them away. Keisuke had tried his best to mentally prepare for this final day until he realized that there was no preparing for Ryousuke to be gone after all. It almost felt like part of his brother was gone already.

Resigned.

They both felt it, they both knew it: things were going to change drastically once Ryousuke walked out that door, no matter that he would be back in a year. It would be forever different; Keisuke would be out there living Ryousuke's Dream, and his brother would be living the stupid fake-ass perfect life that was the dream of their parents.

Keisuke announced a week prior to this day that he would be leaving as well; he hadn't really planned to do it on that particular day, but the 'rents were laying into Ryousuke so hard about arranging another meeting with that Midori chick before he left, all the while asking him millions of questions about whether or not he was finishing all the remaining assignments of his classes and other logistical shit like: did he arrange for his housing? Did he arrange to lease a car? Did he have his passport and visas ready? Was his international driver's license current? It was a never ending barrage of blah blah blah, his brother patiently responding to each of their queries, and all the while Keisuke could see behind the fake smile that his brother was about to explode if they asked him even one more stupid fucking thing. He hadn't intended to cause an argument with his parents, though that was the expected result, but, at least when they were yelling at _him_ , Ryousuke could slip out of the room and out to his balcony to chain smoke until the 'rents were finished and went to bed. If that's what it took to get his brother a break from them, Keisuke would have done it every fucking day until today, or even today, if needed.

At least they were just yelling; Keisuke made it very clear to their Father when they had arrived home on the Saturday they returned from Saitama that he would intervene if his Father even _thought_ about hitting his brother again. His Father was an Asshole, but he wasn't stupid. He knew enough to know that Keisuke had been deadly serious, and, apparently, he still was of the thought that Keisuke wouldn't even care if he got hauled off to jail. Keisuke knew better; his brother had given him too much to throw it all away like that, but threats could be just as useful as a fist if the threatened person believed that they weren't empty. That, and that the Old Man obviously realized he was in no physical shape to come away unscathed should Keisuke get serious, had been enough to keep the Asshole's pot-shots toward his brother of a strictly verbal nature. Additionally, the fact that Mother was awake more often now that her husband was staying home more frequently, ensured that there would be no more discussions about what caused him to hit Ryousuke originally. It was very apparent that neither Ryousuke nor their Father wanted their Mother to know about _that_ at all, though Keisuke could tell whenever father and son spoke to each other that it was the biggest fucking elephant in the room that Keisuke had ever seen. Their Father took every opportunity to encourage their Mother's marriage and baby talk, and, even if the maternal unit didn't see the lightning crackling between the two eldest Takahashi men as they stared at each other during those conversations, all three of the men in the family acutely knew it was there, poking and prodding at his brother to remind him that their Father had him exactly where he wanted him: in a state of perfect _obedience_.

At 8:41, he flipped the switch on his clock to turn his alarm off, and his cellphone began to chime to alert him to a text. He roughly slapped his hand down on the phone and picked it up, reflexively holding it more gently when he saw that the person who had texted him was Kyouko.

"I'd tell you to wake up, but I'm sure you didn't sleep last night."

He smiled in spite of himself; this girl sure knew him well. He sat up in bed and swiped the text to open it to make his response.

"Only because you weren't here." Send.

Whenever he slept alone, he knew he tossed and turned like a maniac. Whenever he shared a bed with Kyouko, however, he was able to sleep peacefully, and he awoke in the same position he remembered being in when he fell asleep.

Chime. "Don't bullshit me."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I know," he said aloud to no one. God, he was falling so hard for this adorable girl. She wasn't a knockout, she wasn't rich, she wasn't overly sophisticated, and she was absolutely perfect for him. She had a great FD, a great outlook on life, and she worked hard and did everything wholeheartedly, and wholeheartedly she wanted to do everything with him. And she was _real_. She didn't try to be anything she wasn't, and she didn't try to make him change. She didn't care that he was a slob, she didn't care that he could make a sailor blush with his vocabulary, she didn't care that he had been arrested, and she didn't care that he'd been in a gang. But she did care about him, his career, his _happiness_. With all of that caring reserved for him, it was amazing that she still had more to give; enough to care about his brother's situation, even about whether or not Ryousuke's hand-picked future wife would ever be happy either, and even to care about Takumi too. She had concern enough to note that the last time they met up with Takumi for a drink that he looked exhausted and seemed to be even more shy than usual around them; she'd even gone to buy tofu from his family's store a couple of times to check up on the younger driver, using the time-honored "I just happened to be in the neighborhood" excuse even though she lived in another prefecture. Although technically she wasn't supposed to know the situation, Keisuke was pretty sure that Ryousuke had realized by now that she had figured things out on her own, even if Aniki hadn't said anything to him about whether or not she knew or asked him outright if he had told her.

"If I say it's ok would you believe me?" he typed. Send.

Chime. "No."

"I'll call you when he's gone." Send.

Chime. "I'll be waiting, Darling."

He placed the phone back down on his nightstand and ran his hands through his messy bed-head spikes and down over his face. He pulled a cigarette out of his pack and lit up and didn't care if his mother shit a brick like she had been doing lately whenever she ventured upstairs and his room smelled like old take-out containers and smoke. God, it was so annoying having her up and around again and actually leaving the first floor of the home, but he understood. For her, this was probably a dream come true: her eldest son about to study overseas and probably come back even smarter, she had the line on a pretty girl to make her a cute grandchild someday, and her husband spending more than two nights a week with his family. He had the passing thought to wonder how his bitchy little whore was handling the sudden lack of his attention, but, mainly, Keisuke didn't much care.

Of course, the maternal unit's usual destination when she came upstairs was Ryousuke's room, but she sometimes stopped along the way at his room to make sure he wasn't creating any evil plans to take his brother to a land far, far, away to a heaven filled with cars and racetracks and pit crews and motor oil and tools. Yeah, right. Like Ryousuke would go to a heaven like that. The street at night was Ryousuke's nirvana, and no circuit in the daytime would ever be heaven to him anyway.

He smoked and sipped from a water he had forgotten to finish the night before and waited for the knock on his door.

At 8:45 on the dot, it came. "Keisuke, are you awake?" came the voice of his Aniki, maybe for the last time to this door to wake him.

"Yeah, come in."

The door opened and Ryousuke stood in the door jamb, lest any wayward filth find its way to his perfectly pressed white dress shirt. "I didn't hear your alarm, but I see you're well on your way."

"Yeah. Couldn't sleep. You?"

Ryousuke shook his head in the negative, but he looked somewhat rested anyway. "I slept a little. It's better for the jet lag if I keep to staying up nights."

"Yeah," the otouto repeated, not wanting to get out of bed, as if standing would officially start the beginning of this shitty day. He could hear the noises from below now that the door to the hallway was opened, the sounds of caterers and of their Mother, Aunt, and cousin messing around in preparation for a big fucking Takahashi celebration. Why they were celebrating shipping their favorite son off, he couldn't begin to understand. If it was left up to him, he'd just assume get drunk.

"The rest of the family will be here by ten," his brother said softly.

Keisuke snorted. "I already hear the brat and her mom. How many more people are coming again?"

"Uncle will be arriving shortly with our grandparents. Both sets," he added wryly.

The younger rolled his eyes. "Great. Not only do we have the Asshole, we have the Asshole's Asshole too? Fantastic," he grumbled.

Ryousuke let a small chuckle escape him. "Grandfather's not so bad, he's just...stern. Different generation."

"God you're so diplomatic. And then Grandmother and Grandma pretending that they actually like each other while Grandpa fawns all over Tsugumi, Mom fluttering around like the hostess with the mostess, Uncle and Aunt trying to be sweeter than fucking candy so everyone plays nice...and Tsugumi being, well, Tsugumi. Do I really have to get out of bed? I already know how this is gonna go."

"Yes."

Keisuke scowled and untangled his ankles from his bedsheets and stood up to stretch. He put out his cigarette and went to his laundry basket to find some clean underwear from the "clean" pile. "Is it too late for me to tell you not to go?" he said quietly, a nervous little laugh accompanying the words. No. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to give his brother any more guilt or worry, but here he was fucking doing it.

Ryousuke said nothing.

"You know what? Nevermind," Keisuke said hurriedly, reaching for a bath towel that was draped over the bucket seat on his floor. "That was a stupid thing to say. Sorry, Aniki."

"Don't apologize. Neither of us made this decision, and once I leave, it's only a matter of time before I'll be back. You'll be so busy with racing you won't have time to think about my being gone."

If there was ever a line of bullshit, Keisuke thought he'd just heard it. Of course he would be thinking about his brother being gone every damn fucking day. Having Kyouko was amazing and wonderful, and he knew that he could talk to her and everything, but Ryousuke was his _brother,_ his best friend, and the person who had lived down the hall from him his whole entire fucking life. He wasn't a little kid anymore, he didn't crawl into his brother's bed for comfort after a long night of punishment from the Asshole or from a bad dream anymore; hell, they barely even drove together anymore to dazzle a crowd with an epic twin drift. But there was a bond there that would be different from any bond he could build with Kyouko as his girlfriend, even if he was pretty darn sure that someday he'd probably turn that girlfriend into a wife. It's not like he could explain it. If someone asked him to, he'd fumble around looking for the right words, and then look to Ryousuke to fill in the blanks because he always did.

And for a year, he wouldn't be there if he looked for him to do it.

He wouldn't see his debut from the infield of a track. He wouldn't be there to tell him not to leave trash in his room. He wouldn't be there to be the buffer between Keisuke and their parents. The desk canister of coffee would be empty, no, wait, he packed that, didn't he? It didn't matter. Did he pack Correct Spoon to measure out his coffee beans? So what? He'd be _gone_.

Keisuke looked at his brother who had a thoughtful, if serious, expression as he leaned against the doorjamb. "How am I going to deal with them without you?" he asked softly.

"You're moving too, right, or so you said?" came the gentle voice. "You'll be fine. You don't need to worry. I've asked Uncle to check up on Mother, and I think Father will be more attentive with me gone, if how he's been lately is an indicator. In case he's not, I have a homecare nurse on standby to check on her."

Of course he did. Of course he fucking took care of it so Keisuke wouldn't have to, so Keisuke could do whatever he wanted and get out of that house like he had hastily announced the week before, surprising the lot of them, even though he didn't even have an apartment or any place to really go. He hadn't planned that far ahead.

Before Keisuke could respond, he heard the tell-tale noise of their teenage cousin bounding up the stairs. "Ryousuke, Aunt needs you in the kitchen to reach something from up high. Can you come down?"

"All right," he returned, looking in her direction as she approached in the hallway.

"I'm actually taller," Keisuke grumbled. "Not that she'd ask me," he added quietly.

Ryousuke turned to face him. "She doesn't know how to ask you anymore. Just offer from time to time and that will be enough, Keisuke."

"Tch."

By this time, the youngest Takahashi reached the doorway, ready to lob an insult toward the mayhem of clutter inside until she saw the expression on Keisuke's face. That tough guy looked like he was about to cry. Even she hadn't cried yet. Her big cousins weren't supposed to cry. She hadn't seen Keisuke cry even once; even if he got hurt, even if he had been left with bruises, she'd never seen him cry. But, here he was in his pyjamas with a towel draped around his neck and a pair of, gross!, boxer briefs in his hand looking like a four year old who accidentally let his balloon go and it was drifting away from him toward the sky never to return.

The three youngest Takahashi stood there together for a moment until Keisuke realized that two of them were probably staring at him wondering why he was being such a fucking baby. "Out of my way, chibi," he declared, recovering himself enough to put on a show and maybe get through this brunch or whatever was happening downstairs, "I need to take a shower and get dressed."

Tsugumi took the hint and stepped aside to allow her younger big cousin to disappear into his bathroom; Keisuke was clearly upset about Ryousuke leaving and, frankly, she was too. But certainly, Keisuke was having the worst time of it. All that had really happened to her was that her parents hired another English tutor for her, and she doubted that this tutor would buy her cheesecake or clothes or new sets of earbuds. The worst thing was that she'd probably never get to ride in a car with Hottie-hotness again either, because, when she'd asked Keisuke if he'd arrange it for her after Ryousuke left since they were friends too, he had said "No fucking way!" before the question even fully escaped her throat. Both of them seemed to want to keep her away from him for some reason; they were downright conspiratorial about it and she didn't get that. Shouldn't Hottie-hotness be allowed to email her or take her out if he wanted to? Anyway, she was way more likely to get Ryousuke to eventually give in to her than would Keisuke, and he wouldn't be back for about a year, so she had pretty much dropped it to the annoyance of all her friends at school. She was really good at email and messaging, though, so she knew she'd still be able to "talk" to Ryousuke whenever she needed to reach him; he'd even given her a little chart so she could account for the time zone difference, and he installed a video chat program on her laptop and gave her a small camera to use so they could see each other every once in awhile. It was really cool, and, she thought, he must have done the same thing for Keisuke, but it was obvious that wasn't enough for him. She supposed that they were as close as brothers could be; even though Keisuke was very protective of Ryousuke, it was also obvious that his elder brother was almost his everything.

"He's taking this hard," she whispered to Ryousuke as they walked down the back staircase to reach the kitchen, the noises becoming more pronounced as they approached.

"Yeah," was all her eldest cousin said before Aunt was happily rushing to him to drag him over to a cupboard to get down a large serving platter from over his head.

Once that errand was completed, his Mother shooed him out of the kitchen again to send him back upstairs to get his suit jacket. It was almost an hour before the rest of the clan would arrive, so he was grateful for the dismissal.

He returned to his room and went out to the balcony to have a cigarette or two before everyone else arrived, and to make sure Keisuke would actually come downstairs. The younger didn't need him anymore; that's what he was telling himself every day just to make it through. Keisuke would be independent, free from everything, living the Dream. He didn't need him to be down the hall from him. He didn't need him to coach him in racing technique. He didn't need him to scold him. He didn't need him to build him up anymore. Keisuke was turning into exactly the man he should be, and that was exactly as it should be.

And then, there was Takumi.

The last three weeks had been ridiculously bad, and he was finally accepting that getting on that plane was probably for the best for them both. The burner phone helped at first; he was able to continue texting and talking to him for the first week, but it had dropped off, and he knew exactly why; it was the same "why" that had Takumi making him promise not to invite him to his wedding. It was the same "why" that made Ryousuke force his Lover to promise not to ever let anyone make him give up his Dreams, and never to hold himself back from anything or anyone.

It was never meant to last. He knew that, they both did. But, God, how it hurt. It _hurt_. It hurt so much that he could barely stand it and he felt almost blessed to be having to do double work at school to get all of his labs and practicals done, because it helped to dull the pain and made him too exhausted to care that his bed was cold every time he climbed into it for the short naps he allowed himself to take. It was cold in stark contrast to the pleasing warmth of the soft linens when heated by Takumi's gorgeous body as the younger slept, when he would climb into bed after studying to lay next to him to fall asleep to the sound of his deep, even sleeping breaths.

But, Takumi was alive and well, and on his way to be the biggest thing to hit the Rally and D1 scene in Japan. At least he could try and comfort himself with that; Kaori's cold stone grave could never offer that to him.

He heard a knock at his door. "Aniki, I'm coming in," Keisuke announced, and Ryousuke put his cigarette out and prepared to return to his bathroom to brush his teeth so his mother wouldn't nag him in front of both sets of Grandparents about smoking again. He walked into the room and stopped short. There was his beloved Otouto, looking stunning in a black sport coat and black slacks, with a silk midnight blue dress shirt on with the top three buttons undone, his shoes shiny as they were held in his left hand. Contrasting the sophistication was a very pronounced look of discomfort in his expression, as if he felt that he was not only wearing someone else's clothes, but someone else's very skin entirely. He hated this shit, but it didn't stop him from looking every bit the man of status he actually was, despite being the younger heretofore rebellious sibling.

"What," said sibling grunted with disgust.

"Good Morning, Sir, I don't believe I have had the honor of meeting you before," Ryousuke teased playfully as he went to retrieve his own suit jacket from its temporary place draped around his desk chair to put it on.

"Oh shut the fuck up," Keisuke grumbled.

Ryousuke chuckled a little. "Where's your tie?"

"I'm not wearing one," the younger spat, as if the thought of putting the dreaded accessory around his neck might actually succeed in sucking the life out of him.

The elder sighed a little and went into his closet to retrieve a thin, black Armani tie from one of the shallow built-in drawers that stored his massive collection of them to compliment his brother's stylish ensemble. "Here, take one of mine," he said, handing it over.

"Tch. I thought you packed all of these awful things," his brother returned, putting his shoes down to take the proffered tie and to flip up his collar before draping the silk line of fabric backwards around his shoulders to fasten the remaining buttons on his shirt.

"Only a few. I won't need to wear a tie to class every day over there," the elder remarked. "Let me," he offered, seeing his brother struggle with the offending tie.

"Tch. Fine."

Ryousuke flipped the tie right-side up and began to tie it.

"Remember the last time you did this for me?" Keisuke asked quietly. The question hung in the air of the sunny bedroom, and the hands of his brother stopped moving when it was heard; of course Aniki would remember. So why wasn't he responding? Maybe he didn't want to remember; it wasn't like he was actually pleasant to his elder brother back then.

"Wasn't it your high school graduation?" Ryousuke asked at length, confirming that he absolutely remembered, even though he phrased his response in the form of a question.

"Yeah. The day a miracle happened," Keisuke replied with a snicker. "I still haven't figured out how to do it right, and I don't think I've worn one since."

The elder resumed the chore, made quick work of the knot, and pulled one end through and easily tied it perfectly. He remained silent through the process, remembering the bad attitude and slew of curse words flung in his face the last time he'd tied his brother's tie. He'd been given the task of making his brother presentable, despite the shock the new hair color had given their already edgy parents early in the morning when he showed up hungover and strung out from being out all night, presumably dunking his head in a sink full of bleach to punctuate his partying with a very blonde exclamation point. He dutifully helped his brother dress properly for the important occasion of their parents finally not having to worry about finding another school for their youngest son; he ignored the immature insults and being called an asshole about twenty times in rapid succession until he had finally had enough. He had pulled the tie tight enough to shut the otouto up so he could give him a somewhat brief but uninterrupted lecture of his own about putting up with it for their parents' sake for just once in his unruly teenage life.

He wouldn't have to do that this time.

"Hey! Not so tight!" Keisuke complained anyway, even though he'd only tied it properly, and even though the younger actually started getting his blonde done professionally two years ago so it wasn't quite as bleachy-looking now as it was on that graduation day. "Geez, are you trying to strangle me again or something?" he said sulkily, tugging a little at the knot to loosen it slightly.

"Come on, you know the last time I meant it. This time is just doing it right," he said with his little huffing sound that passed for laughter.

Ryousuke tightened it back up a tad more and rested his hands on his brother's strong, broad shoulders. "You should wear this for Kyouko-chan sometime," he commented. "You'd get a lot of points."

"Hah!" the younger retorted with a smirk. "That's what you think. She wouldn't care if I wore the same sweatpants five days in a row!"

"Even if that disgusting notion is true, which I _doubt_ , it doesn't mean you should do it," the elder admonished gently. "I'm sure she would be pleasantly surprised if you rolled up in your FD to pick her up wearing this."

"Shut up."

"At least wear it when you propose," he added softly.

"Aniki! I'm not anywhere _close_ to doing that!" the younger protested firmly. "Don't even say it!"

Ryousuke shrugged, removing his hands. "Don't forget to spoil her, at the very least. She's very good for you."

"Yeah. I know."

Ryousuke walked into his bathroom and completed the task of brushing his teeth; Keisuke was still messing with the tie, but he'd be all right to wear it for a couple of hours until any sleepy Grandparent should wish to retire to one of the guest rooms for a nap and the rest of them filed into the living room for some fake-cordial family bonding. At least Tsugumi and Keisuke would be there to make the visit somewhat bearable.

"Aniki…"

"Hmm?"

"Are you going to wear that when _you_ propose?"

Keisuke saw his brother's expression darken a little as he adjusted his own tie and brushed nonexistent lint from the lapels of his jacket. "Who knows," he said with a non-committal air.

"Aniki-"

"She's not that bad," Ryousuke interrupted softly from his sink as he looked in the mirror.

"Neither one of you wants this, right?"

"Like I said, she's not that bad," he remarked with a fake half-smile.

"But she's not him," Keisuke replied seriously.

"No, she's not," the elder agreed. "But she understands her situation just like I understand mine. After meeting with her that night, after looking into her circumstances and her family situation, and from what I learned by talking to her by phone several times over the last few weeks, I've actually decided that she's the best match for me right now; we dislike it equally."

"How can you even say that?! It's not fucking fair."

Ryousuke looked at the concern on his brother's face as he stood in the doorway to the bathroom, his words the verbalization of all those immature thoughts of his own whenever he had contemplated giving up his relationship with Takumi. But, clearly, it _was_ over. They couldn't even stand to text each other at the moment; how could they consider a relationship in a year from now when neither of them had the heart to even pick up their phone for fear of hurting each other more?

"You're right. It's not fucking fair," he declared evenly. "I hate this and all I want to do is get in my car and go see him, talk to him...be with him. But I can't do that now. He can't either, and I won't ask it of him."

"Aniki…try calling him one last time."

"I won't do that to him...or to myself. I have other things I need to work out over the next year. End of discussion."

By 'other things' Keisuke was sure he was talking about the Ishikawa chick and what he was going to do about it. He thought his brother would have just turned her down, but it looked like he was about to do the exact opposite, and Keisuke couldn't understand why. What was so great about her anyway? She seemed pretty quiet and polite at the omiai, as expected from most well-bred little rich-bitches, but obviously they had talked about things since then and his brother had just about come to the ridiculous conclusion that he should marry her. Keisuke couldn't leave it there, even though he knew he shouldn't do this on the last day he had together with his brother, he knew he should just butt out and let him handle it, but he couldn't help himself. He was fucking _tired_ of seeing the fake-smiles and hearing the stupid idle chit-chat with their parents he'd heard spewing from his brother's mouth over the last few weeks. He was fucking _over_ not being able to go to Akagi with him for a few relaxing breakneck-speed drives up and down the mountain. He was fucking _done_ with not hanging out with Ryousuke at the garage as they tuned their cars while listening to Aniki's shitty taste in foreign music, or, worse, _classical_ music and all its fucking delta-waves or whatever Ryousuke insisted classical music stimulated in his massive brain to help him concentrate on whatever he was doing to his goddamn _car_. He didn't want to end the discussion at all, since they had barely even _discussed_ this outrageous marriage arrangement after Ryousuke had arrived home from his evening out with the girl and let him know that neither one of them were into it at all, because they _both_ had fucking _boyfriends_ already, even if he was sure Ryousuke didn't tell her _that_ when she apparently very bluntly told him about _hers._

Keisuke was _tired_ , _over it_ , and _done_ with this fucking fake-Ryousuke who was about to leave him alone, and he wanted the real one back, even if it was the pissed-off version, if even for five minutes before the inevitable occurred and he walked out the door to get into a car service with their parents for the drive to Narita Airport. He took a breath; he didn't want to yell, but he needed to talk to him, _really_ talk about what the hell he was going to do, and he didn't want Aniki to brush his words aside with his stupid "end of discussion" bullshit that he was using way too much with him lately.

He stepped inside the bathroom and closed the door behind him. This would probably be his only chance to really understand his brother's apparent decision, and he certainly didn't want anyone else to hear.

"What are you doing?" the elder asked calmly, but with a slight frown. "Open the door."

"Don't do this, don't marry that girl," Keisuke said pleadingly, ignoring his brother's request and standing square in front of the bathroom door to disallow any attempt for Ryousuke to try and push him aside. He had this chance, and he was taking it, whether Aniki liked it or not. "Take this year that you'll be away from the 'rents bullshit and figure something out for yourself to be _happy_ for crying out loud!"

Ryousuke frowned even more. "What part of 'end of discussion' did you fail to understand, Keisuke?" he asked sternly. "I can't live in a fantasy world, and we're not engaged yet; I even managed to convince our Mother that she didn't need to be here today, and she had," he paused, as if not wanting to finish the sentence, "...other plans."

Keisuke looked at him with a scowl that could cut through steel. "You mean with her _boyfriend_."

"I guess," Ryousuke said almost offhandedly.

"How can you even stand for that!" he whispered hotly, careful not to raise his voice. "Even if you both aren't crazy about each other, how can you even _entertain_ the idea that she's off doing whatever with some other dude, all while both of you are doing a bang-up job with fake-hinting, or fake- _appeasing_ your families that you're actually thinking about moving forward with a wedding someday? That's fucked up and you both should know it!"

"That's between Midori-san and me and _not_ you," his brother snapped just as hotly. "Don't get involved with an agreement she and I haven't even made yet. This is a _game_ we have to play and we are just buying _time_ to figure out how the hell we are going to play it. Don't you _get_ that?!"

"But, Aniki-"

"And when I said 'end of discussion' I goddamn _meant_ it, Keisuke," his brother repeated.

"Oh, come off it, Aniki. Even if Mom and the Asshole are satisfied to believe that the reason her previous engagement ended was a business decision, I'm not that _stupid_. It's because she wouldn't break up with her _dude_ and the other dude didn't play that, and was polite enough about it to give her a discreet _out_ instead of humiliating her. Why should _you_ have a fiance who won't even leave another man for you, when you have to leave someone you actually _want_ to be with behind just because you can't make a fucking baby with him?!"

"Keisuke, you-"

"No!" he interrupted just as sternly. "Don't tell me I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, because I do know how society works, no matter that I've done my damndest to remove myself from it, I was still raised with it and I know damn well that this is a total _coup_ for her family that would do nothing but raise their status if you married her and she managed to pop out Ryousuke Version 2.0 for our parents."

"Stop this," Ryousuke whispered, but he had the sense that his brother was about to deliver him a startling verbal blow.

"I will not stop this!" he hissed angrily. "You are the goddamn _Bocchama_ of this family, whether you like it or not. Fucking act like it! Fucking be a _dick_ about it! Fake _that_ for a change instead of trying to make everyone happy but yourself, or trying to help this girl somehow because you feel bad for her, or whatever it is that you think you are _doing_ , and _start throwing your weight around for fuck's sake_!"

Okay. Keisuke really did have a way better understanding of things than he thought. Why did he keep underestimating his younger sibling like this? He really needed to stop doing it. They wouldn't be in the same home together anymore, and this would be the last time for a year that he would be able to talk to him in person about everything that was going on. He hadn't wanted to bother Keisuke with all of this bullshit, but Keisuke was clearly not interested in remaining only partially informed. Would it really be that bad to tell his brother everything? He already had a good start on things anyway. Fine then. Decision made. He'd share this very delicate and private situation with him, and he hoped that Keisuke could see it from his perspective and accept it.

"I'm _not_ feeling bad for her and I _am_ throwing my weight around," he declared firmly. "We're _both_ examining the pros and cons-"

"'Pros and cons'?!" the hot-blooded sibling interrupted, "What the hell does that mean? The way I see it, the only 'pros' are on _her_ side! You could say one fucking word and she'd have _zero_ chance with you. In fact, even if the 'rents feel like they are desperate to marry you off, don't think I don't know that this arrangement is borderline _scandalous_ , because even _I_ have _figured out_ that the Ishikawa Design Company's net worth is probably a fraction of our Father's. The Asshole is probably losing a ton of sleep over the fact that marrying someone this far beneath you won't add to your wealth or his, and it is only _slightly_ better than finding out you'd rather have a guy in your bed anyway. That's _leverage_ that you have, and you _know_ it! You _know_ that you are in a position to totally walk away and let them scramble to keep looking for someone else who might not ever materialize, and you aren't even trying to walk away and I don't get it at all!"

"No, she definitely has more to lose, and it's precisely for the reasons you so deftly outlined just now," Ryousuke returned calmly, trying to regain his composure in the face of Keisuke's raw compassion and anger. "But this leverage I have doesn't have to be used solely to give our parents what they want. I can use it as an opportunity for myself as well to get them off my back about this, and she knows that's partly why we decided to consider it. I'm willing to work something out with her, but I'm not that heartless a person that I would force her into such a big decision without giving her an opportunity to consider the _many_ consequences, most of which _she_ will end up bearing. And that's why we have to keep dangling the carrot for both of our families while I'm gone for the next year to buy time for us to decide whether or not to go through with it when I get back."

"How the hell do you figure that she will have more to lose?!" Keisuke retorted with a look of confusion and consternation.

"It's nothing you need to be concerned about."

"Bullshit. I want to know, and I want you to tell me the lectury long version, and not the dumbed-down kindergarten Society for Dummies version because I need to understand this! Why won't you just tell the 'rents thanks but no thanks and wait til I get back and I'll find someone for myself?"

So the otouto wanted the long version. Ryousuke didn't want to tell him all of the details because it _was_ complicated. It wasn't because he thought Keisuke couldn't comprehend all of it, he just didn't want his younger brother to worry about this stupid shit now that he was a bona fide professional racer at the start of his career. But clearly, Keisuke wanted to understand why he now thought it might be for the best to pick this woman instead of gambling on a delay and on his parents finding someone "better". It still wasn't set in stone, not by a long shot and for a lot of reasons, and Ryousuke thought Keisuke shouldn't need to know all the gory details.

Especially since it made him feel like he was acting just like his Father might in this situation, because the situation warranted it.

"Tell me," the younger demanded softly, "or we're going to be very late to your going away party because I'll keep you here until you do."

Ryousuke sighed. "All right," he relented.

"Everything, Aniki. Make me understand why you think you should do this, when you get nothing out of it as far as I can tell and she gets everything."

"Let's talk hypothetically for a moment."

"Tch."

"Keisuke, please. You want to know, so hear me out," he said calmly.

"Fine."

"Say we marry. Say I'm okay with it if she doesn't want to end her relationship with this man, who, incidentally, is a foreigner from Denmark who is going bat-shit crazy that her parents keep trying to marry her off out from under him because he is of the opinion that arranged marriages are _medieval_ , a sentiment with which I totally agree, by the way."

"But, Aniki-"

"Let me _finish_."

Keisuke went silent, but he knew the look on his face told his brother that he did not like this thought line one bit. However, he was the one who had opened the door on this discussion just as assuredly as he'd closed them both inside the relative privacy of the en suite, so he knew that he had to listen to whatever form of logic Ryousuke claimed to possess about this. He had wanted to understand, right? Fine. Maybe he could understand, but he certainly didn't have to like it, and he was determined not to like it no matter what his brother said. He knew his brother could approach things like this as a business decision; hadn't he even shared with Kyouko that it was entirely possible that Ryousuke wouldn't even care if his wife had a lover on the side? That he could play the part of the good husband if needed, and just deal with everything else? Keisuke had the feeling that he was going to learn just how cold his brother could be when it came to relationships, and he knew he had to hear his reasons; if there was one tiny loophole in his brother's plan, Keisuke wanted to be the one to offer it to him. He just had to pay attention and find it.

Ryousuke took a breath. "So say we're married, and I cede to her the freedom to continue to be with her lover. However, it has to be on the condition that we still produce an heir to satisfy our families."

"So? I know all that," Keisuke spat. "She gets to do what she wants as long as she has a kid just like I said. It's _pathetic_. You shouldn't have to give her that!"

The elder exhaled, choosing to let his brother's comments pass. "Okay, we've established that it's a pathetic excuse for a marriage, but it's a marriage with an heir, and that's what our parents expect me to have, and her parents expect it as well. Whether or not I actually love my wife or she loves me is not their concern in the first place, right?"

"So what?"

"So let's say we do that. We have our child, play nice for a couple of years, and then we agree to divorce."

"What?! They will never allow that!"

"Let me _finish_ , Otouto," he said again with a stern air. "You wanted to understand why we have to consider all angles, so I'm telling you everything. If you didn't want to hear it, you should not have initiated this conversation with me!"

Keisuke prevented himself from uttering the retort that was forming in his throat, but he couldn't help himself from gripping the doorknob of the bathroom door just a tad more tightly to relieve the strain of keeping his mouth shut.

"If we decide to divorce, then _she_ must be the one to initiate it, so that I will come away from it in a way that minimizes the impact to our family as much as possible. I am not as considerate as her previous fiance was, allowing her to save a little face with her parents to keep her eligible for another marriage opportunity. She will be the one scandalized more because I will insist that the reason for the divorce is documented to be for infidelity. There will be no vague assertion of 'irreconcilable differences' to prevent that fact from being known to everyone in our social circle."

"And that would be the truth, so why go through the stupid charade of marrying in the first place?!"

"Do you think our parents will stand by and allow her to retain custody of our child and take him to Denmark to be raised by a European stepfather? At the very _least_ , they will make her life miserable until she gives custody of the brat to me, if they don't demand of her to relinquish her parental authority outright. And my standing over hers will pretty much require her to comply; even her own parents would probably agree to it as compensation for disgracing me as her husband. And if I'm divorced, it would not necessarily be expected for me to remarry if I already have an heir, which was the whole reason for the marriage anyway. I won't have to continue to fake being a good husband and our parents will have their grandchild. Even if it means I have to raise the child myself, there is such a thing as boarding school. It would be a _costly_ win, but I would _win_."

He saw a flicker of understanding dance across Keisuke's face. He was starting to put things together.

'My God.' It was worse than Keisuke thought. This is what three weeks stuck at home with the 'rents had done to his brother; he slipped into this mindset way too easily, and, amazingly, all Keisuke wanted to do was get Takumi over here to lose his temper with him so that Ryousuke could remember how great their make-up sex was and forget this ridiculousness. But that wasn't happening. Instead, Ryousuke had indeed considered this whole thing exactly as the Bocchama he was after all. Where was that goddamn loophole?!

"That's harsh," Keisuke commented, "I hate to say it, but it sounds like something our Father would do, but you're not him. That's why you shouldn't do it!"

"Do you really think I _want_ to do things this way?" the elder contested. "Do you think I want to separate a mother from her child like that? Of course I don't, and I certainly would prefer my child to be raised by his mother as well; it's better that way in most cases, and it would get me off the hook for most of the headaches. But this is the world our family lives in; it's a game, Keisuke, a serious one, and she will come up on the losing end of it eventually if she marries me, and she is _very_ smart, so she absolutely knows that. That's why I need to at least give her time to consider if her happiness with her lover and a little bit of wealth and financial security is worth giving up her child. That is the _worst_ situation for a woman, and so that decision must come from her because I'm not so cruel as to force her into it."

"So you do feel bad for her. You're being too generous," he responded weakly, even though he did feel like this was scarily calculating and indifferent. How could he stand to approach his life this way? It was heartbreaking for Keisuke to listen to this, but he needed to know everything if he was ever to find another plan to offer. This couldn't be just about the dude from Denmark or whatever.

"I assure you I am not being all that generous. Women here do have fewer choices in these matters than they do in other parts of the world, and, even if she and I both think that's stupid, we both know it's true. If she makes the decision to move forward with the understanding that she will basically be giving up her rights to her child eventually, I _am_ cruel enough to accept her decision so I can get a divorce, and I will ensure that she cannot go back on it."

"What makes you think the 'rents will allow you to get divorced anyway? Surely if they were cool with something like that, they themselves would have been divorced a long time ago. That's just basic."

"Actually, I found out that our Father has offered our Mother a favorable divorce settlement more than once and Mother was the one who chose to stay."

"What?!" the younger sibling retorted incredulously.

"I admit that it surprised me as well," Aniki ceded, "but I soon realized that if he wasn't opposed to a divorce for himself, then a divorce could definitely be an option for me if I needed it somewhere along the line."

"Okay. I get that. So if you make her be the one to ask for the divorce, then you come out the good guy."

"Well, not that good; it will be messy I'm sure, once she actually finds herself in that situation. That's when I'll drop out of it and let our parents pull rank and make decisions for our child, which will definitely favor me and not her. But for now, because of Denmark-san, the idea of a temporary marriage is somewhat appealing to her. Because of that, I need her to think that there will be enough benefit in it for her for her to marry me regardless of the consequences. I have to hope she is head-over-heels for this guy enough and wants to please her parents enough to actually go through with it, and that he will actually stick around once he realizes she will have to bear a child for another man and will have to wait until we're divorced before he can marry her himself. Is he so into her that he would do that? That's an unknown and a _huge_ risk for me."

Was this the loophole?

"Aniki," Keisuke began, "if you've figured it out that far, just make her a financial offer she _and_ the dude can't refuse and just do it already. I know you'll make it back at least tenfold someday when you inherit everything and you won't have to share it with her if you're divorced. Money talks; for her to even consider this at all, she's about as cold as you are about this. It sounds like it's all business. She'll go for it."

"She hasn't yet agreed," his brother replied with a slight shake of his head in the negative. "She told me she needed to think about it, and that's not a good position for me to be in right now. That's why I need to let her see her boyfriend whenever she wants while I'm gone and not push for more meetings with her, so she has 100% confidence that I will keep my word to allow her to have her fun even after we are married."

"Still seems like she gets the better deal, at least upfront," Keisuke remarked. No loophole yet. Great.

"There is something else that might make her agree."

"Oh yeah?"

"She is the heir to her own Father's business as well, and she would like to actually run it someday. It is a very appealing arrangement for her and for her family because our parents have given their assurance that they will not force her to end her career after marriage and neither will I, which, I have learned is very important to her, and which I have also learned that her former fiance was against her keeping her position to inherit her own family's company. She didn't like that."

"Really? Is she the eldest too and no brothers?"

Ryousuke nodded. "Two younger sisters. As a matter of fact, our adorable cousin Tsugumi happens to go to school with her youngest sister who apparently does not rank high academically. Even if Tsugumi says her senpai is popular and well-liked for her personality, being cute and friendly with nothing upstairs to back it up doesn't qualify a person to run a company."

"Shit, Aniki, even Tsugumi is working for you now?" he asked sarcastically. "That's something I thought I'd never see in a million years."

Ryousuke sighed. "Information is useful, and I needed it, and Tsugumi happened to have some of it. That's all there is to that. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to learn much about her middle sister. She might be a problem since she got into Toudai for business; the family might consider her to take the company, so they would have another option there. But I gather from Midori-san herself that she's all numbers and doesn't have the artistic eye which is critical to their specific line of work. Their family bet it all on their eldest, sending her to school to study design in Europe and I'm doing my damndest to make sure I am the most appealing option for her parents to keep her as the heir and thus the ability for their company to survive under their own family name."

"It still looks like you're having to give in too much. You said yourself it will be a costly win. You'll probably have to pay her off big time if she gives up the kid! She'll be on easy street with her Norse God and be laughing all the way to the bank after just doing what essentially amounts to being a surrogate mother. Plenty of women do that shit all the time!"

He shook his head in the negative. "Her career is a strong card in my hand, but it's not quite an Ace. She is also not heartless; she shared with me that she does want to have a family someday, and children, even if it's not with me. If she had one with me though, I don't think she would want to give the child up easily, so I would definitely have to be a dick about it, because I won't stand in the way of our parents forcing her hand if she filed for divorce. She could just decide not to file for divorce for the sake of our child, and then I'd have to consider doing it myself, which would not be as good for me and I'd end up compensating her significantly anyway. So I'd probably just stay married to her and let her do what she wants with whomever she wants. That, my dear brother, would be a _stalemate,_ because she'd be stuck with me too and I would rather _she_ divorce _me_ and not the other way around. I can wait her out because I don't care, and if she's wanting to get married to someone else and have her happy family, she'll need to divorce me to do it. If that happens, then it's back to a win. Still costly, but maybe less so if she stays long enough to the point where she's just over it and _done_ with me and just wants out."

"So...you've told me what a win would be and what a stalemate would be...what would be a loss?" Keisuke asked carefully, still searching for that elusive needle eye through which to thread any ideas of his own.

Ryousuke exhaled again. "She holds a trump card of her own, and I have to play this game _very_ carefully to ensure that she doesn't use it," he replied seriously. "Even if I haven't said anything specific, I think she's pretty much figured out that I have no interest in marriage at all to _any_ woman, and I'm also pretty sure she's figured out why."

"Are you serious?"

"She's smart. She's shrewd in her own right, and she spent a lot of time in the West where things like that matter less, and she encounters many artists and designers in her line of work where it's even more toward the mainstream. So if she suspects, it's not good for me, so I need to make sure it remains a suspicion that she cannot confirm."

Keisuke frowned. "So that means you have to pretend you have no history of this. No lovers while you're with her either..."

"Correct. She also knows I need an heir to please _our_ parents, so she is probably calculating her own options too since she has the one thing she could bring to the marriage that no male lover could ever provide. Of course, no matter that she lived overseas for many years, she is still Japanese from a Japanese family that does not want her to marry a foreign man like she wants to. So she has the decency not to ask me directly about this, because she knows I can deny it and she would not have any real proof because certainly our Father won't admit that to her or to her parents even if they demanded to know; he could even claim that they offended him by asking such a thing, and he'd be well within his status to do so. So I still need to make it seem like I'm earnestly looking out for both of our interests, me with my _precious_ heir and her with her career and her foreign lover. That's why I can't make it look like I'm trying too hard to get her to agree quickly, because she might be _just_ rebellious enough to consider running away to Europe with him and accept her family's disowning her and giving the company to her sister, leaving me out of it entirely to find myself an heir from someone else. We are in equally shitty situations with our parents, equally pressured by them to marry, so I need her to be the one to agree to this. I have to give her this time, even though a quicker decision would be more favorable to me. If she bails, it's a _loss_ for me."

Was this it? Keisuke could feel something that might resemble an idea creep into the periphery of his thoughts. "I'm not sure I get that...if she bails, they'll just find another one. Maybe a stupid one that wouldn't make things so complicated so you could 'win' more easily. I know you like a challenge, but this is ridiculous."

"As if I could tolerate having a stupid wife," he groaned.

Damn. Too easy. Of course being married to an idiot would probably make his brother even crazier. So much for that idea.

"Even if I won't love Midori-san," Ryousuke continued softly, "I respect her and the amount of pressure she is under, and I appreciate that she loves someone so dearly that she would be willing to take a gamble with me as I am with her, considering what she can offer me, and what I can offer her to see if she can live with it. That's why it's worth it to try."

Keisuke had another idea, well, a thought at least. "Okay, so say she bails, or say her boyfriend won't deal. Maybe the next one they find won't be as smart as Midori-san, but maybe she won't be an idiot either. Maybe another girl will just get tired of you ignoring her and divorce you like you want."

"That is an unknown I'm not sure I want to deal with. If Midori-san gives up her rights to succeed her company, if she's that desperate to be with what's-his-name, then I have nothing to offer her at all, and I'll have to go through however many other arrangements our parents can make which is just plain _bad_. If I reject too many of them, families will become more wary and they will start questioning why I refuse everyone. If it's a family that is roughly equal in status to ours, our Father will be very unhappy if it somehow becomes known that I have had even one male lover, and it will pretty much leave me ineligible with no heir. They won't risk that, and they will basically force the next one on me and won't give me or her any time to consider. Right now, I'm able to convince Mother that we can resume the negotiations when I return, but if Midori-san is out of the picture, you can bet they will just make the decision for me and one will be waiting for me at the goddamn airport."

"Shit."

"With the next one, I may not have the luxury of the fact that neither party wants to get married. The next one might insist on marrying right away and having the goddamn wedding of the century plastered all over the society page. Hell, she might even fucking love me, or fall in love with me, and then I would be _stuck_ because a woman like that would never agree to a divorce, and if I divorce a woman like that, it would look _bad_ for me and reflect poorly on our entire family. If Midori-san gives her parents 'the big fuck you' as you would put it, that scenario could happen. I don't want that, because it would be totally out of my control. Her doing that is an out she has that I _don't_ have, and I'm acutely aware of it. That's why I say Midori-san is the _best_ match for me right now, because there are no _feelings_ involved between us, just _calculated risk_ on both sides."

Holy fucking hell. His brother wasn't the same as his Father, but in times like these he could be frighteningly close. Keisuke wasn't totally shocked by what his brother said, but hearing all the thought and planning and manipulating he was trying to do about this marriage was still startling, mainly because he couldn't think of doing anything like that himself and he wouldn't want to have to do it. All he really had to do when the time came was say, "Hey, 'rents, I'm about to marry this cute girl from Saitama who's dad is a salary man at a paper factory and whose mom works part time at a Kindergarten wiping snot off the noses of five year olds for a living, and I don't give a shit if you like it or not, and look at all the zeros on the price of the _rock_ I'm gonna give her using whatever's in my account before you cut me off. Have a nice day!"

However, Keisuke had finally figured out something of his own, and, even if his brother would roll his eyes and tell him how impossible or stupid his idea was, he'd hear it just as assuredly as Keisuke had heard all he was having to do about Ishikawa, all of his brother's mental efforts to try and control some part of this new stupid life his parents were forcing upon him to create the best possible outcome for himself.

If what he was about to suggest wasn't the loophole, there probably wasn't one at all.

"I get it now, Aniki," Keisuke said.

"Then you see that I have to do whatever it takes to play this game. I know it sounds cold, but, like you said earlier, it's business."

"You could do it too, you know."

Ryousuke looked at him hard. "Do what?" he whispered.

"Drop your own bombshell and go back to your own boyfriend."

His elder brother let out an exasperated sigh. "I know you were paying attention, so why you are saying such a frivolous thing like that?"

"If she tells you she's going to bail, make it a double bailout."

"What?!" he snapped. "If she runs off to Europe I will very likely be _screwed_. I thought you understood that."

"Listen," Keisuke responded seriously. "Hypothetically."

Now it was his brother's turn to utter a small "Tch."

"If she's as smart and cool as you describe, and, I gotta admit, Aniki, she sounds like she would be just your type-"

"Keisuke."

"Ok, ok, ok. Just think about this on your ridiculously long plane trip. If she's as 'not that bad' as you say, she will probably let you know ahead of time that she's not going to agree, or that she's decided to elope and do whatever about her job, right?"

"Of course," Ryousuke answered with a careful tone. "I would expect her to inform me of her decision before we have another meeting with all of our parents; it would be a courtesy I don't think she would ignore."

"So at some point, you both will have to get together and state your intentions in front of all four of 'em right?"

"That's the idea."

"That's when you both do it."

Ryousuke frowned. "Do what?"

" _Both_ of you give the big fuck you at the same time and then just walk out and let them pick up the pieces. Stay out for a few days together, and help each other to refuse to take their calls. Hell, go on a little anti-honeymoon trip and wait them out. What really could they do if you're all camped out at Maison du Lac having dinner, with them expecting you to announce your engagement and instead you guys walk out? They won't make a scene in public if you quietly, nicely, politely, tell them all to fuck off. You two have your whole families by the nuts and you aren't seeing that! If both of you are the best choices to be the heir, _they can't risk losing either of you_ if they want to keep someone in their family at the helm!"

Ryousuke felt his eyes widen. "I can't do that. Don't be ridiculous."

"Aniki," Keisuke continued, ignoring his brother's comments. "What are our parents most afraid of? Right now, I mean, not two years from now, not twenty years from now. I'm talking in this very moment, what scares the shit out of them the most?"

"My not having an heir."

"Wrong! Right _now_ , they are most afraid that you will simply decide that enough is enough and you quit medicine to make professional drivers out of street racers! They've invested too much for you not to run the whole show, that is their plan. It's not like they'll just shrug their shoulders and give _me_ the keys to the kingdom. They _need_ you, and they _know_ it."

"Keisuke-"

"And with the Asshole, you have another thing that scares him. Since he knows about you, don't you think in the back of his huge brain he's also trying to calculate whether or not you will turn around one day and tell him that you are tired of hiding it and you don't care what people say about your private life? You didn't care when you fucking _tongue_ -kissed your _lover_ for all you're worth in the parking lot! He's probably fucking terrified that you'll actually get over yourself and tell our Mother, and he's probably even _more_ terrified because he knows that she would eventually forgive you because she loves and adores you, and it's obvious that her love and adoration of _him_ is all an _act_. He's keeping you under _control_ because of your ridiculous need to protect her from everything!"

Ryousuke was stunned silent. He had been so busy planning for the long term, he had lost sight of the very near term. Keisuke was right; his parents had put everything on his shoulders, he was exactly the heir they planned for. They wouldn't possibly throw that all away over his sexual preferences, would they? Their family, even historically, had always been small, made smaller still in previous generations by arranging marriages among cousins until there were just too few of them by the time of his own parents' generation. It forced his grandparents to seek other matches for his Father and Uncle because there were no longer many women at all in their family; Tsugumi was the only girl born in two generations. There certainly wasn't any long lost distant relative his age that could be put in his place. Keisuke had a point there.

He also ceded that Keisuke had a point with regard to their Mother too. He didn't want her to know. He supposed part of that was his own issues of discomfort with himself that reared their ugly heads from time to time, but he was not a teenager just figuring things out anymore. There was no denying the truth that he'd rather spend one more night with Takumi than a thousand nights in any woman's bed. When he kissed him for that last time, nothing else mattered but having that one last moment of intimacy, even if it meant he committed a brazen act of impropriety that he himself still didn't quite believe he actually _did._ Keisuke was right on that point too; in that moment, with Takumi about to drive away and leave him behind, he just didn't fucking _care_. Maybe their Mother would forgive him in time, but he didn't want to hurt her, and he knew that his desire for her happiness was definitely a motivator for sacrificing his own.

But a shock-and-awe plan like that was taking it way too far. He didn't think he had the courage to do that, to leave his family with a scandal they'd probably have to hire a PR firm to fix.

"I can't do that, Keisuke," he said at length.

"Why the hell not?" his brother demanded to know.

"I...am not as strong as you are."

Keisuke couldn't help the waves of compassion and frustration that washed over him. Why couldn't his brother take some of the rebellion against convention he utilized to crush opponents on the togue and use it to make his own life better? There was nothing more that Keisuke wanted for him than that. He didn't want to see his brother the way he had been over the last few weeks for the rest of his whole damn life, marriage or not.

"At least give it five friggin' minutes of thought. Humor me, and entertain my idea for five minutes," the younger sibling grumbled. His loophole was closing, and it wasn't fucking fair. "That's all I ask."

Ryousuke could see the distress in his brother's eyes, as if he also knew that after today, things would irrevocably change. He knew that geography wouldn't be the only barrier to their closeness once Ryousuke travelled down his parents' path, and, here the treasured younger sibling was earnestly looking to give him some other way to avoid it.

This fine man before him, with his smart suit and blonde spikes and his kind heart and his hot-blooded passion was desperately trying to save him from himself, and he knew it, and there was nothing he could really do to make it better, because everything fucking _sucked_. He could only imagine the hell that would ensue if he did this; his Father would probably force him to live at his home for the rest of his life, and move a wife in for him anyway as a special bonus to make him even more miserable. He'd probably insist on having way too much influence on his child, and he'd make damn sure to regulate all of his social interactions with anyone. It would be the end of any individuality, the end of the Takahashi Ryousuke he was now, because already everything he was now had "Former" as a modifier; the Former Leader of Project D, the Former White Comet of Akagi, and, of course, the Former Lover of Fujiwara Takumi.

Kaori had rebelled against her parents by challenging their arrangement between her and Houjou, and it destroyed her completely and left carnage in its wake not only for him, but for both her family and the Houjou family as well. He couldn't do that. He couldn't bear to witness his Mother's heartbreak.

But, he couldn't discount the idea completely. It was simple, to the point, and would be devastating and would force their parents to negotiate with he and Midori-san both, and they would be in command of that negotiation, at least for the immediate aftermath. It was ridiculous, dangerous, and maybe the biggest gamble either of them could take, but maybe it would be worth it to discuss it with her.

Fine then. Decision made.

"I'll discuss your idea with Midori-san," he whispered, "for exactly five minutes."

Keisuke's face brightened. "Really?"

"Yeah. I think it's outrageous, and, likely, she will too. But it is as valid as anything we've come up with so far. I'll talk to her."

"Then talk to him for five more minutes too…," Keisuke said carefully.

Ryousuke put his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "I can't," he confessed.

Keisuke loosened his grip on the doorknob and put his hand on his brother's shoulder instead. Feeling no resistance, he pulled him close for a very rare embrace, knowing that Ryousuke didn't normally like to show this type of affection, but clearly he was capable of it. Keisuke had seen his brother kiss Takumi so passionately the day they left the resort; it still shocked him to have witnessed it, and he was sure it probably still shocked Ryousuke that he had actually done such a recklessly brazen thing in broad daylight in a fucking parking lot, but in that moment it was obvious his brother didn't care. It was so honest that Keisuke could barely stand to see him watch the weirdo drive away that day. It wasn't fucking fair. But, Ryousuke was here now, allowing himself to be honest again and let his brother hug him in this moment of privacy that they had before their cousin would be running back up the stairs to tell them it was time to come down to visit with the family.

This moment was their goodbye; Keisuke didn't delude himself into thinking that he'd be invited to accompany his brother and their parents in that hired car to go to a nice dinner before taking him to the airport. He had this moment alone with the man he had probably worshipped like a God when he was a kid, and whom he had hated for being a third pretend-parent when he was a teen and young adult. This man who was trying his best to appear like he was reluctantly giving in to his brother's need for the physical contact, but not fooling the sibling one bit, was the man whom Keisuke _loved_ as the man who saved him from his own dangerous path and showed him a world on the mountain roads that he could have as his own, with an even bigger one rising before him like the Red Sun that inspired the name of the team they made as the Takahashi Rotary Brothers. He didn't want to lose him to such a pathetic life, even if it was reality and was probably unavoidable just like the elder insisted.

He had this moment, and Ryousuke had allowed it. "Come back as soon as you can, Aniki," he said quietly into his brother's shoulder. "I'll make you proud of me."

"You already have."

Keisuke was glad he was not looking at his brother because the tears that had been threatening for weeks were finally starting to fall. He knew Ryousuke was probably incredibly uncomfortable with this, but, he indulged him, and he probably knew exactly what was happening over his shoulder anyway.

The quiet moment passed, and the sound of Tsugumi calling out for them broke the reverie, but Keisuke still couldn't quite let his brother go just yet.

"Ryousuke, Keisuke, I can't eat cake until you come down!" she chirped from the landing, her voice muffled somewhat by the two closed doors between the brothers and the family in the other part of the house, as muffled as the little huffing laugh that escaped Aniki's throat when he heard it.

"Aniki…"

"This isn't goodbye, it's just 'see you around', okay? We can video chat and email and call anyway. I care not about getting calls in the middle of the night from you."

"Okay."

"Don't worry. Just race. _Win._ Bring a whole truckload of tacky trophies back to this house and put them in the China cabinet next to the Lalique crystal just to piss them off."

Keisuke laughed and felt another pat on his back as he sniffed back a sob that was trying to escape. "Will do."

"Ryouuuuusukeeee….?" came the sing-song voice from outside the room.

"And don't be too mean to her while I'm gone, okay?"

"I guess I can do that."

"And...please keep in touch with him too," he whispered, his voice just a tad shaky with the request. "Don't lose the friendship and rivalry you've built together."

"Okay."

The statement hung in the air for a few seconds, but neither of them moved to end the closeness, and Keisuke wondered if his brother likewise didn't want him to see whatever expression he was trying to conceal. Finally, Ryousuke took a breath and spoke again, "Please do me one favor, though,…"

"Anything."

"If you see him...together with someone, I mean...don't tell me about it. At least not for a while."

"...Ani-"

"Please, Keisuke," he interrupted in a voice that was trying to be more steady than it actually was, "I need the bliss of ignorance for now."

"All right. If that's what you want."

"Yeah."

"...You know," Keisuke said, "it was my advice that got you to go out that night in the first place."

The elder chuckled a little in spite of himself. "I suppose it was."

"Don't discount my advice this time either. That's all I'm gonna say."

"Okay."

"What are you two doing in there? Hurry up, everyone's waiting," Tsugumi called from the door, knocking as she spoke.

"I guess we better go so she shuts up," Keisuke grumbled.

"Don't get snot on my suit, Otouto," his brother said fake-sternly, but there was a gentle smile in his voice that Keisuke didn't need his eyes to see that accompanied an impossibly more gentle pat on his back. He couldn't help but to laugh a little too in spite of himself.

"God forbid we keep the little princess from her cake," Keisuke said with a chortle as he pulled himself together enough to make sure nothing was actually on his brother's clothes before he finally let go.

"I do believe there may be some American bacon involved with this brunch in honor of my destination," Ryousuke remarked, allowing his brother to recover fully, and himself too, before opening the door. "Tsugumi really worked hard to make this an 'American' style menu, even though I'm pretty sure they usually don't eat cake for breakfast."

"Maybe they do," Keisuke returned with a smile.

"I guess I'll find out."

"But I do like that bacon; that stuff should be its own food group!" he quipped, recovered and determined to enjoy the last precious moments he had with his Aniki in the sunny prime real estate of the home.

"Then let's go start clogging up your arteries with it, shall we?"

Keisuke chuckled as Tsugumi knocked and called out to them again.

"Hurry up you two!"

"Yeah yeah, we'll be right there," the younger brother groaned, gathering up his shoes to bring them down so he could escape here and there to the backyard for a cigarette to get through the day.

"Keep thinking about the bacon, Keisuke."

"Yeah. I'll do that. Prick."


	51. Chapter 51

Fujiwara Tofu Shop, October 28th, 10:15 AM

Takumi was elbow deep in one of the large tofu vats at the shop, scrubbing the inside clean to prepare it for the next batch. His father worked alongside him emptying the used fry-oil into a canister and preparing to clean out the fryer.

The last few weeks had gone by quickly, and Takumi had focused hard on driving every day and helping his father out more at the shop, even telling his dad to stop putting money in his savings as pay so he could hire a part-time delivery person that had his own car. He was a nice late-twenties-something guy named Ranmaru; a hard working man with a young family to support, who took the tofu deliveries and other part-time work for his dad as a second job since he had a second baby on the way. Ran-san didn't seem to mind working for the Shitty Old Man, and, although he didn't race back to the shop down the Akina togue, he didn't break the tofu on the uphill either and that had been good enough for his dad to be satisfied with him enough to keep him.

Though there weren't any hours available today or the following day, Takumi had kept his job at the moving company as well, taking on as many shifts as he could before the day of his signing. Other than to keep busy, he did it so that he would have some money saved up to finance his move away from home. He wanted that taken care of before he got the first official paycheck from his soon-to-be new job as the rookie driver for the Toyota sponsored rally team. The team was actually based in Germany, but, as the newest member, he would be starting his training in the freezing hell known as Hokkaido. He'd actually never been there, but he'd managed to find an apartment with the help of the team representative, and he was able to get a discount from his current job to ship his belongings to it. He was nervous about moving, but it was necessary. There was no way he could travel home to Gunma even weekly, though he definitely was sure he wanted to try and make it back to Akina as often as possible.

He kept himself insanely busy, barely making time for his Speed Stars friends, declining their invitations whenever possible and only driving up to Akina a couple of times with them when Itsuki had shown up at the shop and refused to leave until Takumi agreed to go. Prior to the last time he went, Kenji had taken him clothes shopping again to buy a ridiculous amount of heavy jackets, scarves, and sweaters to wear at his new home in the coldest, most unforgiving part of the country, and Iketani had given him his favorite wrench as a gift to take with him, because it was the only wrench that seemed to work on his hachi-roku to loosen the bolts on the suspension of the older car for tuning. Itsuki asked him if he could be the president of his future fan club, but, after Takumi soundly clocked him on the head for that dumb idea, had settled for giving him an Akina Speed Stars keychain engraved with his name and "Downhill Hero" on the back followed by the Kanji for each of Itsuki's, Kenji's, and Iketani's names as well. He hadn't even left yet, and his friends were already starting to say their good-byes. That didn't stop him from putting his keys on the keychain though, and using it proudly even though he'd technically never been a member of the Speed Stars at all.

Days turned into weeks, and then weeks went by in their turn. He was exhausted, but that was more than all right since it helped him to crash so hard when he finally went to bed that he was too tired even to dream.

He'd met up with Keisuke a couple of times for a beer after work that first week after they had returned from Saitama, but he noticed that they talked about everything but Ryousuke, except for in a very general sense to inquire as to his health and to "Say hi to him for me" from him to Ryousuke and from Ryousuke to him. Of course, Keisuke passed the greetings to one or the other back and forth, but it was obvious that it was not easy for him either to do that. At the end of the second week after they'd been back, Keisuke mentioned to him that Ryousuke missed him, and Takumi responded by getting up and walking out of the bar and not taking Keisuke's calls or messages for a day afterward. Keisuke convinced him to meet up again the following night, and he just said that he wasn't going to be their messenger anymore, so they came to a mutual agreement to just drink beer and chat about their racing teams, and Kyouko, and work, and the usual shoot-the-shit stuff you would talk to any drinking buddy about.

When the FD driver had hosted a celebration dinner party on the night of his signing, Takumi was happy to visit with the remainder of the team; Tomiguchi had an announcement of his own that he would be joining Keisuke as a part of his crew, and Fumihiro had the biggest announcement of the whole night when he introduced a very attractive woman from Tokyo as his fiance.

It would have been a great party but for the very notable absence of their team leader.

Takumi had thought that maybe, just maybe, his parents would have allowed him to attend his brother's special evening, but it was apparent that they were sticking to their guns and preventing Ryousuke from any further association with the racing world, even to support his own precious brother on what had to be one of the biggest days of his life.

For his part, he had shared some text messages at first with his now-former Lover, but it became pretty apparent pretty soon that neither of them were fulfilled by them, and the messages that had started out occurring several times daily quickly dropped off to once daily, then once every couple of days, to nothing at all in the last week.

It was just too soon, too hard; the gap between the friendship they were now supposed to have and what feelings they actually had for each other was just too wide.

And they both knew it.

He rinsed out the large vat and was drying it off when his father stopped working and stood for a cigarette. "Take a break, Takumi," he said gruffly.

"I'm fine."

"Take a _break_ ," his Father repeated.

"I'm almost done."

"No, Idiot, you _are_ done. Come in here and sit down. I wanna talk to you for a minute."

 _Shitty Old Man. What now?_

He dried off his forearms and toed off his sandals before he entered the residential side of the shop and sat down as directed on the tatami mat in front of the table. His father went into the kitchen, and Takumi heard him clattering around and filling the kettle to make tea.

 _How long am I gonna be sitting here, exactly? Doesn't he know I'm busy?_

"Dad…"

"Sit there and shut up," Bunta mumbled from the kitchen as the teapot began to whistle on the stove. The whistle was interrupted as Bunta poured them each a cup of tea which he allowed to steep before he walked out and took his usual spot and handed a cup to his son. "Drink it."

Takumi put his hands around the warm cup and began to sip the piping hot beverage, noting that the warmth that soothed his throat seemed to reach all the way down to his cold toes. Before he had even realized it, he'd drank it down completely and his Father got up once again to pour him another.

Silently, he returned with the second cup of tea, and Takumi took another sip, a bit less eagerly this time, but still contented by it. God, he was exhausted; but there was no time for that. He still had to mop the floor, empty the dishwasher, fill the-

"He leaves today, right?" Bunta said quietly, interrupting Takumi's mental to-do list.

 _Shit. I don't want to talk about this._

"I don't know what you're talking about," he deadpanned, pretending not to know or care.

"You suck at lying."

"Thanks for the tea," he replied, moving to get up from the tatami mat.

"I said to sit down."

"I've got to finish cleaning the shop," he declared as he stood and began to walk toward the doorway.

"No. You _don't_. I'm not paying you anymore, so you technically don't work here anymore."

"Dad-"

"You look like _shit_ , you haven't been eating enough, and you are so dead tired you can't even remember to bathe unless I tell you that you stink. _Now sit your ass down_!"

Takumi sat down again with a nasty look on his face. Why did his dad suddenly want to talk to him about the one thing he had zero interest in discussing? Why couldn't they just talk about the Celica he would be driving?

"Now, I can't say you've been sulking, or that you've been a little shit or whatever. In fact, you've been helping me out a lot and working ridiculously hard at your other job too. And that's a problem."

 _Since when?_

"Why? Shouldn't you be happy that I'm trying to help out more before I leave? Ran-san doesn't know how to do everything yet."

Bunta exhaled and put out his cigarette. "Takumi, I still know everything about you. It's obvious you and that Nii-chan-"

"I don't want to talk about that!" he interrupted crossly. "It's over already, so there's nothing to talk about."

"Just because you're both probably better off this way doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to be upset about it for a while," Bunta said calmly, electing not to admonish his son for interrupting him. "Don't think I don't know that you're working yourself into the ground to avoid thinking about it."

"I don't think."

He huffed a little. "Normally, I'd agree with you, but it's obvious he got you to think more since the day you joined his team, and probably even before that, right?"

 _Damn it. I really don't want to talk about this._

"I don't want to think," he said quietly.

"That sounds a little more truthful."

 _Whatever. Can I go back to the shop now?_

"You know," Bunta said, taking a drag from a freshly lit cigarette, "I'm going to show you something that maybe he would prefer I didn't show you, but I'm going to do it anyway since he's not here and this is my house."

"Oh yeah? What's that?" he asked half-heartedly.

Bunta said nothing but went to one of the drawers underneath the bookshelf. He opened it and pulled out a massive three-ring binder and thumbed through it in front of him so Takumi could see that it was completely stuffed with paperwork; it had several divider tabs and the papers were held in plastic sheet protectors. "He gave me this," he said, placing it on the table in front of him as he resumed his seat.

 _When did he do that, and what the hell is it?_

Takumi said nothing.

Bunta sighed and pulled the heavy binder back toward him and began to flip through some of the pages by the tabs until he came to what he was looking for and he opened it fully to the page.

Takumi looked at the plain white binder, but he didn't reach out to touch it, as if touching it would feel like getting closer to Ryousuke, and he didn't want to do that.

"He dropped it off last week; he was in a hurry to get back to the hospital so he didn't stay long, but he asked _me_ to keep it. Take a look at it. It's all about your car."

 _What?! That big thing?!_

"Why do I have to do that?" he asked instead.

"Because I said so, Idiot. "

The son didn't move; he only stared blankly at the binder on the table. "He gave me the specs already."

"I know that."

"Then what is this?"

"It's the repair logs. All of them."

Takumi felt his eyes widen. The list of specs Ryousuke had given to him was a small folder of about ten pages of parts and catalogue numbers but this thick volume on the table was something else entirely.

"This has all of the notes your mechanics made, all of the invoices, everything they tried and failed, everything that ended up working. It's astonishing, given the time they had."

"I..don't understand…"

"They must have worked night and day on this thing."

"You said...invoices…"

Bunta chuckled. "Of course, the money shown on the invoices was very strategically...how did he put it? 'Redacted'. I suppose he figured that someday your eyes might see this, and he didn't want you to see that part."

 _My technique at his expense. Ryousuke...all of this went into fixing the hachi-roku? I caused this much damage to it? I'm...so sorry…_

"Now, don't think that the final engine blow made up this entire thing," his Father commented, as if knowing exactly to where his son's thoughts had just strayed.

 _Huh?_

"You need to look at this section," he said, turning the book around.

Finally Takumi looked at the pages in front of him. It was a computer printout, but with sort of an x-ray of his car. Then more pictures. More. Some of them were so focused in that he couldn't even tell to what part of the car they belonged. Each one had notes written in the margins; some in Ryousuke's perfect penmanship, others in Matsumoto's dignified hand, and still others in Tomiguchi's comparative chicken scratch.

"Tell me what you see in these pictures, Takumi."

Takumi considered. It was really hard to tell anything from most of them. "Some of them just look like a cracked sidewalk or something."

"Those are pictures of your _car_. They took it to a place where they could examine it under magnification and they found all of these cracks."

His eyes shot up in disbelief. "What?"

"Most of them are tiny...some of them weren't. I hate to admit it...but if I had known it was in that condition while you were racing...I would have gotten rid of it."

"What?! How can you say that so easily? The car was fine until I broke it!" he strongly asserted.

"No, it wasn't. I don't think Nii-chan even knew it was this bad. He didn't want to tell me how bad it was either on the day he delivered the car back to you...but I could see something in his eyes that said it was way worse than he let on when he told me about this that day. He said that your safety was very important to him. They took your car apart and repaired and rebuilt the entire goddamn thing."

Takumi started flipping through the binder, looking at the pictures, and reading some of the notes; he had a sour feeling in the pit of his stomach when he would come across an invoice where several black lines concealed the prices of all the parts and labor cost. Even if Matsumoto and Tomiguchi didn't charge their full rate for labor, Ryousuke would have paid it to them anyway. The invoice for the engine was full of those lines; apparently the fabricator had a hard time with it and it took several attempts to get it done to Ryousuke's satisfaction. But the images of the cracks in the car shocked him, and he was sure that Ryousuke would have been beside himself with worry if he had known about it before; even if he wouldn't tell him, he'd probably would have fixed it anyway if it had been known when the Project was still going, even if it meant delaying a battle. His dad was probably right; he didn't know it was like that until they took it to wherever they took it.

"You have to have a lot of connections to get a car that old into to a shop like that. Even Masashi doesn't have those types of connections. "

"Why are you showing me this?" he asked softly, "I don't understand most of the technical stuff..."

"I think you understand what you need to understand."

 _Ryousuke...Matsumoto-san...even Tomiguchi...They all worked on this, and I know Ryousuke paid them to do it all…_

"He designed the engine too."

 _What?!_

His father flipped a few more tabs and displayed another page for his son; it was a hand-drawn schematic of all the parts of the engine that sat in his car, with calculations on torque and RPMs…of _everything_ mapped out on graphing paper with the precision of a true automotive engineer.

"A fabricator may have built it, your mechanics may have installed it, but it was that Nii-chan who put the heart back into your car."

 _The heart. The engine is the heart of the car, I've always believed that. Ryousuke created this heart, his own heart...and gave it to my car...to me…_

It didn't register immediately, but the tears had already begun to silently fall as he gripped the cup of tea in his cold hands. He began to shiver despite the warmth of the cup and his father gently removed it from his grasp.

"Now, I don't pretend to know what to say to you in this situation, Takumi, but I think you understand that any other person would have told you to scrap the hachi-roku and buy another car. I didn't have the heart to tell you that myself, especially since I love that damn car too, but I was going to man up and do it. And then that Nii-chan showed up at the shop to ask for my permission to try and repair it on the very day I had decided to tell you."

"Dad…"

"It would have been a hell of a lot easier and cheaper for him to give up on it and tow it back here unrepaired. Hell, it would have been cheaper for him to buy you another damn car. He didn't do that, though. Why do you think that is, Takumi?" his father implored.

 _Because he knows I love this car, and that everything I went through with it meant something to me. Winning against our opponents, even when I didn't think I won, winning against Keisuke, who turned out to be one of the most amazing friends I've ever had, winning against Ryousuke himself, when I didn't think I should have been worthy enough to stand with him at the starting line...only to have him ask me to join his team. I started loving him even when I didn't know it._

"He just wanted me to have it back," he whispered, but he knew it was much more than that.

Bunta sighed. He figured that whatever Takumi's mental answer was had to be more truthful than what he just said, but he let it go. Of course he would have preferred that his son stayed with his little Golfer-chan, or even Surprise Christmas Party-chan, or even the older Nee-chan who was apparently a navigator in a Sileighty that his stupid noisy pal Itsuki sometimes brought up from time to time to tease and embarrass his socially inept kid. Of course he would have preferred for his son to have a family someday that had a mom in the house for any kids he might want to bring into this stupid unfair world, so that maybe his grandchildren might not have to worry about why their dad bought beer and smokes with money that was supposed to pay the bills, about having to drive illegally to help the business, about his propensity to drink too much too often, and about whether or not he really was a Shitty Old Man who smacked his kid around probably more than he should have at times, and other such grumbles he realized Takumi had a right to have had growing up with a guy like him. Of course he would have preferred that to the knowledge that his kid spent plenty of nights sharing a bed with another man in a way that Bunta supposed went well beyond the limits of mere skinship; did the kids even have skinship among men anymore? He certainly didn't know or care. The only thing he cared about was the distress and sorrow he saw in his son's eyes, the same eyes he had seen on that dreaded day some nineteen years ago that looked at him from across a table in a judge's office as her parents signed a million papers and left him with this squirmy little pinkish-colored kid that he knew would turn out to look just like her someday.

How the hell was he supposed to know that she was sixteen when she told him at the summit of Mt. Akina that she was twenty years old? He had been so proud to have such a beautiful girl on his arm and riding shotgun in the old Toyota 2000GT he had at the time; even the neighbors all knew she was beautiful when she would walk up and down the shopping district on her errands, and he was sure they wondered how a girl like that could possibly put up with a guy like him in the first place.

But, he should have known something was off. Obviously, she had been raised elsewhere, she was very different from any other girl he knew; whenever they went out, she always had him drop her off at the train station, even when he insisted on driving her all the way home. He should have known that life wasn't meant to be that easy when, instead of taking her train trip back to where her family was living, she asked at the end of a weekend of street racing to just stay with him. He should have known that their blissful life of fun and racing and cruising would come to a screeching halt once that stupid pregnancy test came back positive, and she went into a panic he'd never before seen her display. His new venture of opening the tofu shop was not the place for his beautiful Jenny, but, for a short while she was happy there anyway, and it was what they could manage with the knowledge of a brat on the way and no other means of support. He should have known that nothing good was going to happen after that.

When her parents finally found out where she was living and about everything else, certainly nothing good came of it aside from Takumi being born a healthy child, and he thought he would never see her again after that day in the judge's chamber.

He found out when everything was settled that Jenny wasn't even really her given name, but a nickname of a middle name for crying out loud, but that's how he knew her. To him, she would always be just "Jenny."

Afterward, he had heard from her exactly once; she had sent him a letter about ten years ago, confessing that she still loved him, and confessing to her desire to see her son in person. She was coming to visit her parents with her new fiance, and she just wanted to see her son, even if from afar, even though she knew she wasn't allowed to make contact with him for fear of violating the many restrictions that were placed on their family about contacting his kid before he was of age.

Even if he knew it would open old wounds for both of them, he had never been able to say no to Jenny, and he wrote back to her with only a date, time, and place.

So, on one random day in the fall, he took his shy son to Akina for a ride on the swan boat and for hot cocoa and mochi ice cream. It was a rare treat that he thought his kid should have been more excited about since it wasn't even New Year's, but Takumi was never really one to react to much of anything. He just went with the flow and Bunta supposed that if he thought he'd get a little extra food in him and a ride on a dorky little boat, that it was worth it to go for a drive with the Stupid Old Man. At the age of nine, he hadn't turned to "Shitty" quite yet.

They parked the car and Bunta had to wake the little idiot because he'd fallen asleep in the passenger seat instead of watching him drive. 'Will this kid ever show any interest in anything?' he remembered thinking to himself as he practically dragged the boy out to the small dock to pay the rental fee for the boat.

As they waited in line, he remembered looking around, trying to remain nonchalant despite the twisting emotions he felt curling in his stomach that made him want to turn the replacement he'd bought for the GT, the hachi-roku, back around and return to his stupid store with its stupid tofu to drink the night away.

And then his eyes rested upon a couple getting out of a boring family sedan. If he didn't know for a fact that it had been nine years since he had last laid eyes on her, he would never have guessed it. To him, Jenny hadn't gained a pound or aged a day; she was as beautiful as he remembered, and, maybe even moreso, if that was possible.

Their eyes met briefly and he nodded in her direction; it looked to him as though her fiance wasn't aware that they were coming to Akina for any specific reason as the man left her side to buy her a coffee from a cart vendor. He saw her gaze travel lower to look at their son who was, of course, messing things up by looking out over the lake instead of looking toward the car park.

"Takumi," he had said, "why don't you look at the different cars in the parking lot for a minute?"

The boy turned and looked at him with the same face and eyes that were staring at them from the near side of the lot from about fifty feet away. "Why, Dad? Cars are boring," he complained, "I like looking at the lake."

"You know I'm a tofu vendor not a fisherman, you dummy. Now look at the cars before I smack you upside the head," he scolded, ignoring a disapproving look or three from other moms in the line who had kids with them of a similar age or younger.

His son sighed, but he did as he was told and turned to face the lot as Bunta bought the boat ticket. At that moment, he saw Jenny's hand go to her mouth, and the mirror of the eyes that stared at him every day from the face of his son widened and teared up at the sight of her child. He wanted to run over there and tell Boring-Sedan-san to get lost and to give him his Jenny back, but he couldn't do that. They both knew it, because she kept her fifty-or-so foot distance and didn't attempt to move closer, as if she was likewise willing herself to stay exactly where she stood and as if it was taking all of her strength to do it.

"What car did you want me to look at? They all look the same to me. They all have four wheels and they drive," the nine-year-old commented with a frown. "Can I go skip rocks into the lake instead before it's our turn on the boat?"

"In a minute you can," he said softly, wanting to give Jenny the chance to collect herself for one last look before the little idiot went to face the other way again and went to the tiny beach to skip his stupid rocks.

It was then that Boring-Sedan-san returned with concern for his upset fiance, and it was then that Bunta noticed the camera strung from a strap and draped over the man's shoulder. Shit. She wasn't supposed to take a picture of Takumi, and she probably knew it as well as he did, but, Bunta thought, if Boring-Sedan-san just "happened" to want to take a picture of the lake, and just "happened" to want to get a closer shot of it, he wouldn't deny Jenny that.

He managed to catch her gaze again after she'd wiped her face with the man's handkerchief and he gave her a nod. The expression that crossed her beautiful face was that of a person whose prayer had just been answered when she understood that he wouldn't stop her from getting that one picture.

She started talking to her fiance, and she pointed to the lake to ask him to take the picture for her. "You can go skip your rocks now, Takumi," he said quietly.

"Okay," came the soft reply, and the boy trotted away to the small shoreline looking for his stony projectiles. He watched his son pick up a good handful, and he started to skip them. Surprisingly, he was pretty damn good at it, and it was if he instinctively knew which rocks would work best as he discarded a few from his hand without throwing them and skipped the remaining ones with ease.

As he watched his son at the shoreline, Boring-Sedan-san walked within a meter of where he stood, and he moved to the sandy beach and was less than a foot away from his son. Bunta hoped to God that Takumi's resemblance to the man's future wife wouldn't startle him, because it looked from a distance that he didn't really think anything of driving to Akina other than Jenny wanted to take pictures of the mountain and the lake. He probably had no idea that his fiance already had a brat and that brat was within arm's reach of him. He turned to Jenny who had a worried look on her face as well, and she called out to the man, directing him by pointing with her index finger to move a few feet further down the shore to take a shot of the shoreline. She was always deviously clever, and Bunta knew damn well that Takumi would be included in the photo intentionally-unintentionally if he took it from that spot. And hearing her voice again…

The man turned and pointed at various spots on the beach to confirm his instructions, but he didn't speak.

She didn't speak again either; she only nodded when the man was in position to take the picture. He had just raised the camera to his eyes when Takumi realized he was in the way of what he thought was a tourist's memento and quickly got out of the way to jog back over to his father. Oh for crying out loud. Why was his kid such a stupid idiot?

He quickly looked back toward Jenny and he could see her crushed and devastated expression. He couldn't bear it; it was the same look she had when her family had taken her out of the room before the social worker brought Takumi in for him to take home. Fine. He wasn't a stranger to breaking the rules, was he? Was he going _soft_? No. Akina was still his turf.

"Hey there," he said casually to the man who responded with a cordial "hello" in return. "Wouldya mind taking one more picture? Looks like your girl wasn't happy with where you were standing after all," he added with a nod in Jenny's direction.

The man looked at him with an odd expression, but looked to his fiance for confirmation and she responded with a vigorous and hopeful nod in the affirmative. By this time, Takumi had come up alongside him. "Takumi, why don't you show this nice tourist one of your favorite spots so he can take another picture for his girlfriend?"

"Why?"

Bunta groaned. "Just do it to be polite to someone who isn't from around here and don't be a brat."

Takumi pouted a little. "But you told me not to talk to strangers."

Oh dear God. Seriously?! The _one_ time he gave his kid what he thought was the correct parental advice, and here it was back again to bite him in the ass. Friggin' brat.

"It's okay, Takumi," he groaned again, "because I'm right here, Dummy. Now, be a good kid and let this guy here take a nice picture. In fact, you should be _extra_ nice and let him take a picture of you too if he wants to."

His son scowled again. "Can I get an _extra_ mochi ice cream if I let him take my picture?"

What a little shit. Fine. He wasn't above bribery. "Yeah, I'll get ya an extra, but only if you're in the photo. Just hurry the heck up."

The man looked at him curiously, but he took one more look at Jenny and apparently decided to include a random kid in his photo after all. Takumi had already made it to the water's edge and turned back around. The man took that as his cue and walked to about a meter in front of his son and snapped a single photo after telling Takumi to "Say Cheese".

Takumi amazingly did as he was told and smiled one of his very rare but adorable smiles; Jenny wouldn't know that an extra mochi was the cause of it, and that was more than all right anyway because, when Bunta turned to look at her, she was crying again in a mix of joy and anguish, and she mouthed "Thank you very much" to him before hurriedly getting into the passenger seat of the boring sedan.

When Boring Sedan-san returned from the shoreline, he bowed cordially and began to walk toward his car himself. "You know," Bunta called after him, "she's a beautiful girl. Please take care of her well, okay?" The man nodded again with a half-smile, and Bunta turned away to look at his son who was watching everything intently now, and probably wondering about the strange day they were having.

He heard the impotent engine of the sedan start up and he waved his son over, biting back his own heartbreak all over again. He was definitely putting the brat to bed early because he was definitely going to be drinking until the sun came up the following day. "You can come back now," he called, "let's get your extra mochi and take our stupid boat ride."

Takumi nodded and joined him once more. A glance to the lot confirmed that Jenny was gone again, and mini-Jenny was looking up at him with a curious expression. "What?" he grumbled to his son.

"Why did you want that guy to take my picture? I didn't like doing that," he declared.

"It just seemed like a nice thing to do," he replied, hoping he hadn't screwed up and opened some can of worms with his kid.

"He didn't talk to me, but he looked at me funny before he took the photo."

"I'm sure it's because you're pretty funny looking," Bunta remarked, which earned another scowl from mini-Jenny.

"I was born with this face. Who's fault is that? Now pony up, Stupid Old Man, I want mochi," he spat petulantly. Okay. Thank God his kid was an idiot after all.

But now this Idiot was sitting across from him on the tatami mat, shivering and silently crying, his anguish another mirror of the expression on his mother's face the last two times he saw her. He'd lost something just as dear to him, just as important; it was the same expression when he blew the engine on Akagi and was told it couldn't be repaired. The heart of the car had to be replaced instead, and his son didn't want to replace the heart of the hachi-roku, knowing that the car would never be the same. But they did replace it, and he grew so much as a driver because of it, and, of course, he also grew because of Nii-chan's Project D. That Nii-chan replaced the heart of the car with his own design when he could easily have ordered something from the factory that would have sufficed instead of dreaming up and building a custom block from a schematic that was uniquely for his son's car and no other.

"You know, Takumi, when you swap an engine in a car, it does change the heart of it. I know you know that."

His son put his elbows on the table and put his head in his hands to conceal the tears his father already knew were there.

"You just need to keep driving and continue to figure out what kind of heart your car has now. Even when you drive the Celica, your personal car is still the hachi-roku. If you take that car with you, the heart of it will be there with you too."

He saw his son's shoulders tremble slightly, but he was desperately trying to hold it in. For three weeks, he'd been working himself to death, probably to avoid just this moment. Bunta rose and moved over to his son's side and sat down again next to him. "I won't say it gets better, but I will say it's probably for the best," he said softly. "You gotta let it out and get it off your chest before you'll feel like a human being again. And if that doesn't work, there's always beer."

He heard an irritated sound and a sniff come from behind the hands.

"I know you'd probably rather get a beer with FD-san, but you're welcome to have one with your Old Man every once in awhile too."

Takumi wiped his eyes and raised his head; he was still shivering, and he still looked like shit, but there was appreciation in his expression. "Thanks, Dad," he mumbled.

Bunta reached for his cigarettes and lit one. "Now go take a hot shower and a long nap. I don't care when you get up, but if you want to have a beer tonight when you do, there's two six-packs in the fridge. Eight of those cans are mine though."

His son rolled his eyes, but he chuckled once. "All right."

Takumi got up and went upstairs, and took his hot shower. He let the pent up tears fall until the exhaustion that accompanied the release of the overwhelming feeling of loss took over. He turned off the faucet and toweled himself dry, slipping on a t-shirt, flannel sleeping pants and his green hoodie. He brushed his teeth and tried to fix himself up a bit, even though the mirror still confirmed that he looked like shit with bags under eyes that were red and blotchy and puffy from crying. Now that he was warm again and sleepy, he welcomed the idea of an hours-long nap, not caring that it was approaching the middle of the day. If he was lucky, he could maybe just keep on sleeping until this shitty day was over.

Fujiwara Tofu Shop, Later That Day, 5:00 PM

Bunta had just flipped the sign on the shop door from "Open" to "Closed". He switched off the lights and went back into the house, headed for the kitchen to open that first can of beer that had been calling his name ever since he'd talked to his son and thought of Jenny again.

He wasn't sure if anything he said actually helped at all, but at least the kid did as he was told and took his shower and wet to bed. The father went upstairs a few times and peeked into his son's room and, sure enough, the brat was so dead asleep that he hadn't moved even one centimeter. His breath was deep and even, and his face was so serene; it was a relief to see that after the weeks of seeing nothing but vague distress in those eyes that were so much like hers. There were times like these when he knew it was probably better for a mom to handle things than for a gruff guy like him to do it, but, he realized, that Jenny might not be able to help much in this situation either; it might have made it even worse. Bunta didn't know, because he didn't know Jenny anymore; he'd _never_ known who she _really_ was, and he wondered if Takumi would ever get that letter from her someday after he turned twenty and was grown. Jenny probably had another life now, far away from the stupid tofu shop, far away with the man who drove that boring-ass car, far away from Akina and all the nights they'd spent there crushing one street-punk after another and laughing their way back home afterward. Maybe she even had another brat to raise by now, and had forced herself to finally forget about her eldest son.

He'd just popped the can when he stopped short of raising it to his lips; there was the sound of a rotary engine outside.

He remained unmoving in the kitchen, not sure if he wanted to go to the door. If Nii-chan decided not to go abroad, what the hell would happen now? He didn't think Nii-chan was the type to defy his parents like that, but, he ceded to himself that he didn't completely know him well. The kid was smart. Wealthy. Sophisticated. Well-bred. Well- _trained_. Surely he wouldn't gamble his entire career and social status over his desire to keep Takumi in his life or...in his bed where a pretty wife should undoubtedly be.

But Nii-chan _did_ take risks. He raced the togue. He took a gamble on an old hachi-roku and molded his idiot son into a top-class racer. He _loved_ his son, even though he wasn't supposed to. Bunta pulled a cigarette from his shirt pocket and lit it in the kitchen, waiting for the polite knock at the shop door.

However, that polite knocking didn't come.

In its place was an urgent rapping, loud and annoying, a desperate effort that caused the beat-up shop door to shudder on its hinges. Bunta couldn't help the disappointment that came over him; even though he wasn't all that thrilled to know that Takumi was involved in that type of relationship, he supposed that somewhere in a few of his unadmitted thoughts that he _sort of_ understood his son's feelings, and he _sort of_ didn't mind that it was Nii-chan who loved his son at all. That guy would probably give Takumi a life in a completely different world, expand his horizons. Actually, he did that already. But that urgent sound at the door told him enough to know that he'd have to keep looking at Jenny's sad eyes on the face of his son for a whole lot longer.

There was no way that this impatient visitor was Nii-chan.

Takahashi Ryousuke didn't gamble this time.

"Ah, shit," Bunta declared aloud to no one, acknowledging only to himself that he'd held out his own _slight_ hope for Nii-chan not to leave his son after all.

The knocking continued, and now it was accompanied by the calling out of Takumi's name from a voice who didn't give a shit about disturbing the neighbors, from a brat that would probably tell a passerby to fuck off if they dared to scold him for being too noisy.

This had to be FD-san.

"I'm comin', all right, so shut the hell up!" Bunta bellowed as he put down the can of beer and trudged to the doorway to slip on his sandals. He'd been heard; the persistent rapping stopped and the street outside fell quiet again. He made his way across the shop, turned the lock on the door, and opened it.

"Hey, uh, Boss, is Takumi home?" said the brat outside without so much as a "good evening" in greeting. Well goddamn. So this was the other side of the Takahashi coin. Nii-chan always greeted him properly and with respect, and he understood what it meant to be a guest in another man's house. This guy obviously didn't give a shit about propriety, and looked like he didn't care if he got yelled at over it either. If he pulled that obscenely-colored FD up to the Akina summit against him, Bunta thought he owed it to him to have his rude little spiky-blonde ass kicked all the way back to Takasaki. Well, the Fujiwara dad ruefully conceded to himself, maybe he'd get his ass kicked _halfway_ to Takasaki. This kid was good too. Real good, and probably as good as Takumi.

"Oi-oi. How 'bout an apology for all the complaints I'm gonna get from the neighbors for all the racket you've made," he grumbled.

The kid scowled. "I don't have time for that," he spat. "Is he home or not?"

"Hmpf. Yeah, he's here."

The FD driver exhaled in what Bunta thought might have been relief. "Can I talk to him please?" he asked, lowering his voice a little. Okay. So this hothead was a "punch first, ask questions later" type of guy, the apparent opposite of his very collected and careful older brother. But he managed to at least throw a "please" into the mix. Obviously, he'd grown up with the same silver spoon in his mouth as did his brother, but this one looked as though he got his kicks from tarnishing that spoon every chance he got. He didn't give off that air of sophistication like Nii-chan did, and he had obviously spent plenty of time on the street, and in probably in more ways than with just his car judging by the way he talked and the way he called him "Boss" like he was some Yak-affiliate shopkeeper. Of that, Bunta had no doubt; his parents must have had their hands full with him. However, for him to be here on the day his brother was leaving the country, the purpose for the visit had to have been important. Maybe he was doing it for his brother after all since Bunta could tell by his own son's behavior that he wasn't really talking to Nii-chan anymore; maybe Nii-chan had been worrying his otouto as much as Takumi was worrying him. He hated to admit it, but he thought he might like this Takahashi as much as he liked Nii-chan.

"Well, Boss, can I talk to him or not?" FD-san pressed impatiently. "If you're standing there giving me a once-over for your own peace of mind, that's all well and good. I'll tell you whatever you wanna know about me whenever you want, but not now. Right now I need to talk to your son."

"He's sleeping."

"What?! Then wake him the hell up!"

"Oh? And why should I do that for someone who just decided to come over to _my_ house unannounced?" he responded, not being able to help himself from being pulled into this brat's energy and challenging him right back.

"Tch. I _did_ try to call him, but he didn't answer. And this looks like a tofu store to me. Last time I checked, anyone could park on a public road to go to a store," FD-san quipped. The elder might be book-smart, but this one was street-smart _plus._

"A store that clearly had a " _closed"_ sign on the door you just about broke, FD- _chan_." Friggin' brats.

"Ha! You call that thing a door? A goddamn _kindergartner_ could break into that broken piece of crap and rob you blind, _Pops_."

Bunta laughed a little as he transitioned from "Boss" to "Pops" in reaction to the "-chan" he'd just dished out. "The only things I got that are worth stealin' are parked outside anyway, Idiot."

The brat took a cleansing breath, and nodded with a cheeky little smirk. "Yeah, I get that. Look, I'll friggin' _buy_ you a new front door if you let me talk to him."

That wasn't a bad offer, but he had to know what this little hothead was cooking up inside that bleached out brain of his. "Why aren't you with your brother today?" Bunta asked directly.

"I was," the brat said with more than a hint of frustration. "But it's not like my 'rents were gonna let _me_ go with the three of them to some Tokyo Michelin Star restaurant before he gets on that stupid plane."

What the hell was a "Michelin star restaurant"? Bunta had no idea. Was that like a five star restaurant? These people were filthy rich, so it had to be. He'd sure never heard of anything by the name of "Michelin" other than tires. Maybe this brat did have some kind of "well-breeding" in him after all for him to throw that out there, and it looked like maybe his parents didn't actually acknowledge their younger son in the same way as they did their eldest and heir. "So what's so important that you're in such a hurry to talk to Takumi? I'm pretty sure whatever was going on with them is pretty much done," the tofu vendor commented quietly.

FD-san recoiled a bit; Bunta supposed the kid didn't didn't know that he actually _knew_ what had been going on, but whatever. The kid was here, and it was about time the brat should have realized that even if his friend Takumi was an idiot, Takumi's father sure wasn't. He shook off his surprise and his expression turned to a serious one. "So you knew," he declared.

"Yeah, I knew about it," Bunta agreed.

The kid seemed to accept the statement. "So then you can probably imagine that it didn't go too well for my brother when our Father found out."

Bunta shrugged. He'd pretty much figured out that Nii-chan's family had discovered something when his son had left for that unexpected weekend getaway, especially when he came back and started working himself to death to avoid dealing with it.

"My Old Man doesn't know _who_ ," the brat said with a serious tone. "My brother definitely planned to keep it that way," he said softly.

"So, why are you here?"

The kid took out a cigarette and lit it, offering the elder Fujiwara one which he gladly took. "Can I be blunt?"

"You've already been _that_ ," Bunta admonished.

FD-san shrugged his comment off and took it for the permission to continue that it was. "The last few weeks...it hasn't been good for my Aniki. He's been stressed, exhausted... _unhappy_. And, when he comes back, he's probably gonna marry some little rich-bitch he doesn't give two shits about, and who doesn't give two shits about _him_ either. It's stupid but I think he's about to decide to do it."

Bunta exhaled, his own smoke joining the brat's as he listened. "Isn't that what's supposed to happen?"

"Yeah. That's why I need your kid to go to the airport with me to snap him the hell out of it. But we need to leave soon if we're gonna do that."

The elder Fujiwara said nothing. Part of him wanted to tell the kid to wake Takumi up and split, and part of him wanted to deny him the opportunity. Why should he allow his son to see Nii-chan if the result would probably be that he'd be even more upset than he already was? It's not like he totally supported this relationship that definitely included _things_ other than racing stuff. Hell, he barely understood it at all, and he was sure his knowledge of it had given him a few more gray hairs than he had before it started.

"I think you need to butt out and let Nii-chan make his own decisions."

The FD driver gave him a stern look as he tried to retort, "But, Boss-"

"Shut up and listen," Bunta interrupted. "Obviously, the fact that you're here and he's not should tell you that he's done just that. Sending Takumi to the airport won't change a thing. It's done, and I think it's for the best. For both of them."

"How can you say that when you knew about it? You didn't exactly put your foot down to stop it. They...made each other happy…"

"Just because I knew about it doesn't mean I liked it," he cautioned. "And happiness doesn't pay the bills, but running your family's company and being a professional racer sure will. Your brother knows that and that's why he's not fighting it. He's protecting himself and Takumi too by doing this. That's reality, so get a grip, Kid."

The hot-blooded FD driver didn't like the answer, but it seemed like he knew that was what it would be on some level. "I...just need _your_ Dumbass to talk to _my_ Dumbass one more time before he leaves. That's all. At least...please let me talk to him. Please."

He said "please" twice; Bunta assumed that this kid rarely said "please" at all to anyone. He sighed, wondering if this was the right thing to do, but knowing that his kid was an adult and should be allowed to decide for himself, even if he was exactly the Dumbass FD-san said he was. Apparently, Nii-chan was also being a Dumbass, and Bunta supposed that maybe those two Dumbasses deserved each other if that was how it was going to be. He'd never been able to give Takumi a silver spoon, but at least he could give him the freedom to choose and fall on his own face if that's what would happen. It was a freedom he knew that Nii-chan clearly did not have no matter how expensive his clothes or that bottle of sake he'd brought as a hospitality gift were. "Fine. Ask him. But if he says 'no', I'll thank you to respect it and to leave him be."

More relief colored the expression of the younger Takahashi. "Thanks, Boss. Thanks."

Before he'd even been invited in, the kid was off and running into the shop, calling out for his son.

Damn brats.

Keisuke crossed the length of the small store and headed inside to what he figured was the "house" part of the building. God this place was tiny, and kind of shabby too; no wonder Takumi looked like his eyes were about to pop out of his skull the first time he'd ever seen his own family home. But that was fine; it only meant that there couldn't be too many places for his bedroom to be. He went up the narrow staircase and called out for him, opening the first door on the right and finding an empty room.

He went to the second door and opened it; there his rival was, fast asleep and oblivious to the sound of his name being called, and of the yelling he had done at the door. God that dude could sleep through anything.

He walked a few steps toward the side of his rival's small bed. "Takumi," he said as gently as possible. "Get up. We've gotta go for a ride."

Takumi didn't move a muscle. This was going nowhere fast, so Keisuke ventured to put his hand on the younger one's shoulder, shaking him lightly as he called his name again. That got the weirdo to shift over onto his side, facing away from him. "Yo. Takumi. Time to move," he said sternly. "You need to wake up and get dressed."

"Ryou-…"

Keisuke stopped himself mid-breath into calling out for him again. Surely Takumi couldn't mistake his voice for Aniki's, but he was still asleep. It was definitely a tad creepy to hear his rival start to say his brother's name, but he couldn't think about that now. He needed this little shit to get his ass out of bed. "Takumi. It's Keisuke. I've been trying to call you and now I'm here. Wake up."

"Kei...suke…?"

"Wake up you little shit," he said again, shaking the teenager a little more until the younger one finally moved onto his back again and raised his hands to rub his eyes open. "Takumi."

Takumi blinked a couple of times before turning, startled, to see his friend and rival in his bedroom. "Why are you here?" he asked in a tired drawl.

"We're going to the airport to see him off."

The changeably-colored eyes only stared back with an expression devoid of any feeling as he sat up in his bed. No. _No._ This was not the Takumi he knew; that weirdo felt _everything_ , right down to the tire treads of his car.

"Get up. We've gotta move if we want to make it in time."

Takumi stopped staring at him and focused on his hands as they lay in his lap instead. "No. I don't want to do that," he said plainly.

"Why the hell not?!" Keisuke demanded to know with a hot whisper. "Don't you friggin' _love_ him?!"

Silence.

Keisuke sighed. Of course he wasn't going to answer that out loud. He needed to try to convince him some other way, and time was running out. He took a breath. "Her name was Kaori."

At this pronouncement, Takumi looked at him again. Good. He had his attention.

"I never met her," he continued quietly, "but, even so, I sort of knew he had been seeing someone. When he would come home from being out with her he'd be happy, but there was always something else that wasn't quite right, because he never brought her home to meet our parents. I didn't know why, and he wasn't saying anything, and I don't really know all the details. At that time, I was still sort of adjusting to being out of the bosozoku life, so I had my hands pretty full learning how not to be a gangbanger and learning how to drive the FD, so I never really asked him about it."

Takumi absently fingered the drawstrings of his hoodie as he sat there and listened.

"One day he came home in a panic. He shut himself in his room and I could hear him calling her over and over, and then calling everyone he knew who might have known her. He called people all night long looking for her."

Seeing no visible reaction, Keisuke continued. He knew Takumi was listening. "He started calling hospitals at about 5 AM. Then he started calling police departments."

"What happened?" Takumi whispered, "Was it a car accident?"

Keisuke exhaled. "Like I said, I don't know all the details, but I've sort of put things together. Her parents had her engaged to someone, but I guess she loved Aniki instead. I assume that the pressure was too much for her. She killed herself."

"What?!" Takumi asked, looking up at him with alarm in his expression. "Why would she do that if she had Ryousuke? He would have helped her through anything!"

"He couldn't help her, or she didn't let him, I'm not sure which. All I know is that he took off for her funeral and didn't come home for a few days. He even ditched class and our parents were starting to worry; but then he showed up at home as though nothing had happened. He got yelled at for missing class, but he looked so much like shit that our Mother smoothed things over for him with the Asshole by saying he was sick, and he went to bed for another whole day."

"He tried to tell me about her...but it was hard for him to talk about it."

"Well, when he got up, he was like his old self, but worse."

"I don't understand…"

"He threw himself into school and work, and he got with Fumihiro and he decided to form the Red Suns. He focused on work, school, and me even more than before, and he never gave himself a break. He got even worse about his stupid OCD habits, and he was even worse of a morning person before his first cup of coffee. He was on my ass about everything; driving, behaving, trying to have at least a cordial relationship with our parents, everything. Everything and anything; his plate was so full that he didn't have time to think about her and what happened."

Takumi wasn't reacting, but Keisuke knew he was still listening intently; if Ryousuke had tried to tell him about Kaori, and based on the three weeks he'd spent at home going along with their parents' every whim, the younger Takahashi knew that his brother had to have been comparing the end of his relationship with Takumi to how it was with her. He was that serious about the weirdo, and that's why Keisuke needed to get him to go to the airport to remind him that Takumi wasn't Kaori. He was alive. He'd be here when he got back. He shouldn't marry Ishikawa Midori when Takumi was still alive and well and loved him.

"We got real good real quick as the Red Suns and Aniki announced that we'd only race on other team's home courses. It was like he found his dream to take young drivers and make them great; maybe he was doing it because of her too, I don't know. But he called it the 'Fastest in Kanto Project'. We were undefeated, even getting a little famous for it. There was no one around who could touch us; half the time we sent out our second string to do the job and Aniki and I would just watch and he would analyze the results."

"Is that when you came to Akina?" the younger man asked quietly.

"Yeah. We thought it would be an easy win against your friends, no offense. Aniki wasn't even going to go to the battle, and he told me to race and set a new course record that they'd never be able to touch."

Takumi was silent again.

"And then you happened and the 'Fastest in Kanto Project' was a failure."

Keisuke looked around the room and saw a wardrobe against one wall. Without asking for permission, he opened it and pulled out a t-shirt, sweater and jeans. Takumi didn't protest when his clothes were placed on the bed.

"I thought my brother was going to tear me a new one when I lost to you, but he was happy instead. He told me that was why he loved the street; because things like your 'gutter drop' can happen. I hadn't seen him look like that since before Kaori was gone."

"Keisuke…"

"He was on his simulations every day, devising a plan to win against you. He was still working himself to death, but when he'd be done with all that and started prepping on his computer for his race with you, I could see the _passion_ he felt about that race. He hadn't had that look since his days as the White Comet, when I wasn't really paying all that much attention anyway. But seeing it again, I recognized it. _You_ were the one who saved him from himself."

Takumi looked at him wide-eyed, and the Keisuke could see moisture gathering at the corners of his eyes. He turned toward Takumi's bedroom door, not wanting the younger man to worry about any of those tears falling in front of him. "He may have resolved some things about her when he raced in Kanagawa, but, being without you... I see Kaori happening all over again and I don't think I could stand to see him like that for the rest of his life. That's why you need to come with me tonight," he said to the door of the bedroom. "You need to save him from himself again. Let him see you one last time before he gets on the plane. Snap him out of the three weeks of not seeing you and fucking doing everything our parents want."

"I…," Takumi faltered, "don't think it will change anything."

"But you don't _know_ that. Right now, he has it in his stupid brain that he's going to come back from abroad and marry this girl they picked. He's just about convinced himself to do it, even though both of them love other people."

That got Takumi's attention. "Y-you mean...she doesn't want to be with him?" he whispered, as if in apparent disbelief that someone wouldn't want to be with Ryousuke.

"Nope; her parents want her to. She's got some two-meters-plus tall European dude she's with and she's not planning to give him up even if they get married."

"Eh?"

"Yeah. He's going to let her keep her boyfriend if she agrees to marry him. He's not planning to take that allowance for himself either."

He turned back to look toward his rival. His expression had darkened and the almost-tears were gone. "Why would he do that?" he asked seriously.

"Because he thinks it will be for the best."

Right before his eyes, he could see that determined expression on his rival's face appear, the one that had made more than a couple of their opponents in Project D tremble after shaking his hand before a race. Keisuke could _see_ the mental snap decision being made, and, before he knew it, Takumi was getting out of bed. "How much time do we have?"

"We should have left thirty minutes ago."

"Then go start the FD and I'll be right down," Takumi declared, "And you better figure out a way to get there with a thirty minute handicap."

"You got it," Keisuke returned seriously and he left the room.

Takumi stripped off his pyjamas and quickly pulled on the clothes Keisuke had retrieved from the wardrobe. He dashed across the hall to freshen up, brush his teeth, and run a comb through his hair. He went back into his room and grabbed his wallet, phone, and coat.

 _Why am I doing this?_

He ran down the stairs as he pulled his coat on, and one-hopped his way to putting on his sneakers as his Father smoked in the living room.

"So you're going," his Father said.

 _Why am I doing this? Will it even matter?_

"Yeah."

Bunta sighed. "All right. Be careful."

"Thanks, Dad."

Takumi tied his shoes and hurried outside to climb into the passenger seat of the waiting FD. "I'm ready."

"Then we're busting ass. Let's go."

The FD was off, and Keisuke quickly entered the expressway. He kept a close eye on his speedometer, but he was pushing it as much as possible without being reckless. Takumi stared out the window as the country landscape turned suburban, and then maybe a little urban here and there as they drove.

"What time is his flight?" he ventured to ask, breaking the silence of their drive.

"Eleven; they'll probably have to get to the airport by 8:30 or 9 since it's an international flight."

"Oh."

"Customs."

"Oh," Takumi repeated, not really understanding about flights or "customs". He'd never even been to the airport before. "Will we make it?"

"I'll make sure we do," Keisuke resolved, pressing his foot a little further down on the accel.

They continued to drive in a slightly anxious but companionable silence. Eventually, Keisuke started to see the road signs that marked the remaining distance to the airport. It was about 8:30; his parents should be arriving with Ryousuke about now to the International Terminal, where they would likely be accompanying him to the First Class lounge to await the time for boarding. He knew it wouldn't be easy to get his brother's attention while they were there, so he had spent the drive thinking of a way to get to the departure gate without being noticed by his parents. It wasn't like he cared if they got mad at him for showing up, but he knew Ryousuke wouldn't want their parents to ever lay their eyes on Takumi. That would definitely cause questions and, more than likely, more problems; Keisuke knew that their Father would have no guilt over making Takumi's life miserable too if it was ever known to them that he had been the one in his brother's bed.

He glanced over toward the passenger and noted that he was sitting there with his chin on his hand and his elbow braced upon the doorframe of the car, watching the city lights pass them by. "We're almost there," he offered quietly. He had no idea what the weirdo was thinking, maybe he wasn't thinking at all. He wouldn't press for anything, but he hoped that if his brother could just talk to him in person for even a minute, that something might click.

A soft "okay" was the barely heard acknowledgment.

He exited the freeway and followed the signs to the terminal and the short-term parking area. It had been awhile since he'd come to the airport himself, but it was familiar enough so that he was relieved to realize that he still knew where to go. He pulled off and joined the lane for the parking structure, and took the ticket from the machine, impatiently waiting for the stupid gate to lift which would allow the FD to pass. He grabbed the first available parking space and cut the engine. "Let's go."

Takumi turned to him and nodded, and the two Aces both got out of the FD and walked briskly toward the terminal entrance and toward the departure area. "We'll check the monitors and see where we need to go. Have you ever been here before?"

"No."

"Okay. I'll check it, so just follow me, all right?"

Takumi nodded again as they entered the airport, and the din of noise and the sea of people hit them both in the face. Even though it was the evening, it looked like a rush hour human traffic jam, and Keisuke could see that his companion was already getting overwhelmed by the bright indoor lights and the crowd and the noise. "Don't worry about it, Takumi. We'll find him. We'll see him."

"O-okay…"

They walked up to the large bank of departure monitors; Keisuke had taken note of the flight information and pulled out his phone for the flight number. He easily located the entry on the list of flights stating that it was slated for an ontime departure. He made a mental note of the gate and started to walk toward the security line. It was long. Shit.

"Come on, Takumi. Time for you to experience part of the joy of air travel."

"Huh?"

"We get in line and hurry up and wait."

Takumi turned his gaze to the long line of passengers and families as they waited to pass through the security checkpoint. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah. That's why they tell people to arrive a couple of hours ahead, especially international." He quickly scanned the line to see if he saw his parents, but it was likely that they had come to the airport right after dinner, so they were probably already settled in the First Class Lounge sipping wine and having some more fake-happy chatting with their favorite son. "It moves pretty quickly though," he added when he saw a flash of defeat cross his friend's expression.

"Okay."

They moved through the line with relative ease, and Keisuke watched Takumi sort of recoil when he had to walk through the security arch and have the electronic wand passed around his body. When he rejoined him he grumbled, "Did they have to do that?"

Keisuke chuckled once. "Yep. Another of the joys of air travel."

They moved off from the initial check point and Takumi's head was on a swivel; this place was more like a shopping mall to him than anything else, but he was still made a bit uncomfortable by the atmosphere. Keisuke felt him following close at heel as he looked for and found the entrance to the First Class Lounge. He looked around a little more and his gaze fell on a sign that he hadn't remembered being there the last time he took an international flight with the family when he was still in high school and they had the great idea to ship him off to some military academy in the middle of Nowhere, USA in a place called New Mexico. "Shit."

"What's wrong?" the younger driver queried, noticing the frown on his friend's face.

"That sign wasn't there before, or at least I guess I don't remember it because the last time I was here I was actually taking a trip," he answered, pointing to a series of ropes made to form a guide for another line, currently with just a couple of people waiting, underneath a large sign marked "Customs: Passengers Only Beyond This Point".

"Does that mean we're too late?"

Keisuke glanced at the clock on his phone. "I don't think so, but it means we won't be able to go to the gate to be with him before he gets onboard. Shit."

"Do you think he's already passed through here?"

"I don't know for sure, but, if he follows our Father's pattern, they will hang out in the lounge until an airline employee comes to get him when he needs to go through customs in enough time to pass and get to the gate. He's probably checked most of his luggage already though. I guess you'd call it a perk of travelling First Class; someone will probably go into the lounge to let him know when it's time. They did that with us the last time."

"Oh."

Keisuke had to think of another way to get his brother's attention and avoid getting the attention of his parents at the same time. It was almost 9:30; that meant he would probably have to get going pretty soon. He watched the entrance to the Lounge as a few employees and people entered and exited. The door was not opened wide enough for him to see inside, but he instinctively felt that they had made it. He was sure his Mother wouldn't let her baby go until the last possible second; she was probably on her fifth handkerchief by now, with the Asshole fake-consoling her all the while giving what Keisuke imagined to be final instructions, or, more likely, _orders_ , to Ryousuke before the flight between sips of their fine wine.

He realized that there was only one entrance and exit, and that they were standing pretty close to it. That was not good. "Takumi, we should probably wait on the other side. I don't want to be this close when they come out."

His friend nodded and they crossed the concourse and stood outside of one of the travel shops. It was still kind of close, though, but the customs line was a good thirty feet away. He really did not want his parents to notice him while Ryousuke was still with them, so he ducked into the shop a little further and picked up a magazine to look at it. "Keep a lookout for them and let me know as soon as you see 'em."

"But I don't know what your parents look like. What if I miss them?"

Keisuke exhaled sharply. "Are you really that stupid? Aniki will be with them. And you'll be able to tell right away who my parents are. Trust me."

"Oh. Sorry. I guess I'm...kinda nervous. It's loud here, and busy...and I don't know if we're doing this for nothing, or if he's already gone. I can't really think right now. Sorry."

Keisuke closed his eyes. Of course the weirdo was probably freaking out. Of course this kid who lived his whole life in a small, quiet roll-up-the-sidewalks-at-5 PM shopping district in Shibukawa would be a little nervous about going to a noisy place that probably reminded him of the Tokyo debut when he was in a state of sem-freakout the whole time because of the crowd. "Don't apologize, and don't worry. I don't think he's left yet, but, it should be soon since there aren't any delays showing on the monitors," he explained, pointing to another bank of departure and arrival monitors which hung suspended from the ceiling above. "Just notice it when airline employees go in and then come out with other people. You'll see him."

He watched as Takumi stared at the doorway to the lounge and he finally thought of a way to get his brother's attention. He'd send him a text to wait or something after his parents walked enough away, and he hoped that he could time it _just_ right so that he received it after the 'rents were gone but before he turned the phone off for the trip. He had to believe he could do this one small thing perfectly; even if his brother didn't realize it, he _needed_ to see the weirdo again, and Keisuke was hell-bent on making sure he did. If even _Kenta_ could time a cell phone call to the exact right second when he had to race in the fog, surely he could do it with a text in a stupid airport.

"Keisuke, I see him."

The short sentence from Takumi got his complete attention, and he looked toward the entrance to the lounge. Sure enough, an airline employee was leading his three other family members toward the beginning of the customs line. Ryousuke walked with their Mother on his arm as she blotted her eyes with her delicate handkerchief, but she had a smile on her face. As usual, the Asshole looked serious and pissed off, and Ryousuke was doing his best to put all of his attention on his Mother instead of interacting with him.

"Your Mom is really pretty," Takumi said softly.

"She's all right for an old lady I guess," Keisuke remarked a little flippantly as he saw his friend's gaze fall upon his Father.

"He looks just like your Dad," he whispered.

"Yeah. He hates that."

The two Aces watched as the airline employee gently suggested that it was time for Ryousuke to go. "I think he's getting ready to go in that other line."

"OK. Keep your eyes on them and let me know when the 'rents head off in the other direction." Keisuke noticed that other passengers started to enter the line as well; they were probably the other people arriving to take the same red-eye flight to San Francisco as was his brother.

"They aren't doing that. They're staying right there watching him go through the line."

"Shit. Shit. Um...let me think for a sec." Damn it. Why weren't they walking away? They were treating this like they were sending their kid off to Siberia with no clothes instead of sending him to a nice school in a nice little city in America. He saw his brother chatting politely with the airline employee, dressed in his suit and with his topcoat slung over one arm, laptop bag over his shoulder and across his chest as he rolled his carry-on bag with his other hand. Shit. _Shit_! He was almost at the point where he would pass through and wouldn't be allowed to go back out to the main concourse area.

"I think they're leaving," Takumi declared, with a voice that had a little nervous edge to it that Keisuke could hear. It did look like his Father was trying to convince his Mother to walk away, and in another second, she waved once more in Ryousuke's general direction and they walked past the store where he and Takumi were standing and back toward the exit. Keisuke immediately put the magazine down and dragged Takumi by the elbow to the center of the concourse where, to his dismay, they arrived just in time to see Ryousuke walk through another security arch and hand his carry-on luggage to a customs agent. Fuck.

"Ok. We can still get his attention," he said quickly, and Takumi watched him as he got out his phone to hit "Send" on the text he'd prepared while he was waiting in the shop.

"Turn around." Send.

They both turned and kept their eyes glued on Ryousuke as he put his suit jacket back on and gathered up his luggage and topcoat again, the airline employee patiently waiting to escort him to the departure gate.

"Come on, come on, Aniki. Pick it up," Keisuke pleaded aloud. Maybe they were too late; maybe he should just say "fuck it" and yell out to him.

He was getting ready to do just that when he saw his brother begin to walk with the airline employee. But, he stopped walking and put his hand in his pocket. He pulled out his phone.

"Thank God. He's getting his phone out," Keisuke said, as if to emphasize what they were both seeing. They watched as Ryousuke pressed a few buttons on the device to read the text. He read it, and his head shot up and he turned to face their general direction, looking for the sender.

Keisuke raised his hand and waved, and his brother finally saw him and he smiled a little. A second later, he noticed Takumi and his expression turned to a startled look of surprise before that, too, melted into a gentle smile that held within it both the joy and sorrow of the moment. The two Aces watched as he tapped some things on his phone and looked toward them again.

Keisuke heard his cell phone chime for a text: "Thank you."

Keisuke exhaled, looked up, and nodded to his brother, and he took a few steps back so that he was slightly behind the weirdo. The guy hadn't stopped staring straight ahead with so many emotions crossing silently in his eyes and passing over his face. At this moment, the noise of the crowd seemed to fade away, the bright lights appeared to only illuminate the three of them, and the sound of the intercom that announced boarding information barely registered. Ryousuke pressed a couple of buttons on his phone and raised it to his ear, and Takumi's cell began to ring.

"You better friggin' answer it," Keisuke sternly but softly demanded.

Takumi reached into his pocket, never taking his eyes off Ryousuke. He gingerly opened his phone and brought it up to his ear, trying to will his body to stop the trembling it was threatening to do, his eyes from tearing up as the sting at the edges started to signal their occurrence. No. He wouldn't show that type of face to Ryousuke now. No.

"Hi," he said into the phone.

 _What am I supposed to say? I don't know!_

"Hi," came the gentle response that matched Ryousuke's expression. "I...didn't expect to see the two of you here. You're always surprising me."

"Yeah."

A few empty seconds passed, and the background noise of the airport came through both the handset and into his unoccupied ear, creating a hum of white noise that Takumi desperately tried to filter out so that he could hear Ryousuke speak.

"I'm glad I got to see you before I left," the calm voice in his ear said, the sound of the voice not heard in over a week making Takumi's chest twist into an impossible contortion. "I've...missed you."

Takumi kept looking toward his former lover, the anguish building up anew. God, how he wanted to scream into the receiver all the things he had come up with on the drive over, things like "Are you crazy? Don't marry that girl!" and "Please give me one more day and night with you when you get back" and "I wish you didn't have to go at all." All of those things slipped away from him now that he was actually there, and he suddenly couldn't get his throat to form any of the words he had planned to say because, Dear Lord, he missed him so much already, _loved_ him so much, and he wasn't sure he knew how to survive when he was going to be gone so far away. He hoped Keisuke wouldn't be mad that he just couldn't say the words to tell his brother not to marry the girl who didn't love him either.

"I...don't know what to say…"

 _Idiot_.

He heard the little huffing sound come through the phone and he saw the soft expression that went along with it. "Then don't say anything."

Takumi could hear and see that the airline employee was telling him he needed to go, and he saw Ryousuke turn to her and heard him politely tell her that he needed just one more minute for his phone call.

 _I need to tell him I understand him. That I know that he doesn't want to do this, and that I know he has to. God, I don't want to be without him, and I know I need to let him go..._

"Ryousuke…"

"I'm here," came the response as the elder faced him once again.

"My Dad...he showed me the repair logs…"

He heard an exhalation through the handset and he saw that Ryousuke closed his eyes briefly before opening them again. "Then you understand everything, don't you?"

"Y-yeah...you...the engine...everything…"

"That car is special," he said, "just take it with you wherever you go, okay?"

"Okay."

"I have to go…"

"I know."

The line was held open, and Takumi heard that the employee was telling Ryousuke more insistently that he needed to leave for his plane. Again, he asked her to give him another minute.

"Like I told Keisuke, this isn't goodbye. It's just 'see you around', all right?"

"Yeah."

"I'll send you email, and, of course, you can call me anytime."

 _But it won't be the same. Won't it turn out like these last three weeks? Won't it be too hard for us? For me?_

"Ryousuke…"

"What is it?"

"You made me promise not to hold back from anyone or anything. I didn't want to, but I did it, so I want you to promise me something too."

 _I have to say it. I have to, or I won't be able to walk away._

His heart was beating wildly in his ears, and he felt his face heat and his palms sweat. He had to get this out while he had Ryousuke in view with his own eyes, even if he was too far away already to touch anymore.

"All right…"

"Promise me...that you won't design a heart for anyone else's car."

He saw Ryousuke's mouth open a little, and he heard a sharp intake of breath through the phone, but the elder didn't speak. He heard the airline employee say "Takahashi-sama, please, come this way now," and again, Ryousuke brushed her aside with a soft "Excuse me, one more second."

"Promise me that, Ryousuke. Please."

He saw the elder look at him again; even with the distance of some thirty feet between them, it was as though they were the only two people that existed in the world. He knew that the anguish he saw in the elder's expression was probably the mirror of his own, but there were no tears from either of them. Ryousuke's expression then turned to one of quiet resolve and he answered, "I promise that I never will."

Takumi exhaled the breath he hadn't realized he was holding and held the line, but he couldn't say anything else, and he thought he didn't have to. He knew that Ryousuke understood. He supposed that his and Keisuke's new life as professional racers was all that remained of Ryousuke's small dream; he silently oathed that he would continue to race, continue to win, and continue to drive the car that contained the heart of the man whom he loved and who had loved him as no other had before. And, though the pain of losing him was threatening to tear him apart, he swore to continue to hope that Ryousuke could make another small dream for himself some day, one that would never again make him feel the way he had felt when he had lost Kaori, or the way they both felt in their last moments together, and how they were feeling in these final seconds now.

 _Find the Dream again, Ryousuke._

"I…," the elder said into the phone, his voice barely above a whisper. "I have to go. The plane will be boarding soon."

"Okay."

"I'll...see you when I get back. That is another thing I will promise."

"Okay," he repeated. He was about to close his phone when he heard that voice one more time.

"Aishiteru."

 _I love you, too._

Click.

Takumi watched as Ryousuke abruptly turned and began to walk with the airline employee. He felt Keisuke return to his side more than he saw him, and he hoped to God that the trembling he was feeling from head to toe wasn't visible to his rival. They both watched until Ryousuke's retreating form could no longer be seen as the crowd of other passengers filled in behind him. The noise of the airport reached his ears once again, and the lights and the din and the rushing about of late-arriving passengers cancelled the moments of semi-solitude he experienced while on the phone.

Ryousuke was gone.

Takumi thought his knees were about to turn to jelly, and he was willing himself to remain still with his feet firmly planted under him. He was focused only on that when he felt a firm hand on his shoulder, trembling more than even he was himself. He looked upward toward Keisuke; that tough guy was barely hanging on too, and he'd even given his chance to say goodbye for himself to him. If there ever was another person he could call a true friend, it was this tall blonde toughy standing next to him, equally about to fall apart. Keisuke squeezed his shoulder. "He'll be back."

"Yeah."

Not much later, the boarding announcement for the flight to San Francisco came over the loudspeaker, but the two Aces couldn't quite seem to make their bodies move. They stood there through another boarding call announcement, and another rush of latecomers heading through customs hoping not to miss a flight.

Final boarding call.

Keisuke exhaled and shook his head a little. "Wanna go get a beer somewhere? I think we both need it."

"Yeah."

The Dream had begun at night on a mountain pass, with RX-7s and an old hachi-roku, and the Aces were challenged now to make it Reality.

And maybe, just maybe, Ryousuke would come back to them with his own small Dream, found again.

~end~

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has supported this story. I'm so humbled by the kind words I've received in reviews and PMs, and I am so happy to have "met" many great Initial D fans through your thoughtful and amazing messages. Thank you for giving of your time to my fan fiction universe, and I do hope that you come away from it contented, and that my love for these great characters was conveyed to all of you who read this fanbook. I appreciate and adore every single one of you! I hope that, if you liked this story, that you will continue to support the related stories and any future installments from my ID fanverse. Thank you!

Very Humbly, and with Kindest Regards,

Your Companion,

~Ceile


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